Original subtitles

( music playing )

( click )

MRS. WICKET : Gah!

( door slams )

( thunder rumbling )

( scoffs )

( bored ) Ohh.

Pbbbbt.

( door creaking )

( gasps )

( both screaming )

( monster growling )

( screaming )

Oof.

This isn't scary at all.

Pbbbbt.

( scoffs ) That film was rubbish.

Oh!

What the--

Hmm?

Oh.

I wonder...

( flashes popping )

- ( crowd cheering ) - Thank you. Thank you.

I'd like to thank Teddy very much indeed.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

I could do that.

Ah.

( gate squeaks )

Oh.

( squeaking )

Mmm. Very good.

( snickers )

Hmm.

Oh!

Ahh.

( imitating thunder )

( chuckles )

( sighs )

Ooh!

Ow! What you up to?

Ohh. Hmm...

Yes.

MRS. WICKET: Ooh!

Very good.

MRS. WICKET: Ohh!

Aha!

There it is.

Now, then.

Oh.

Action!

Mmm, no.

Ah.

Mmm.

Ah.

( grunting )

Ah!

Hmm.

( amplified ) Action!

( giggling )

( clacking )

Hmm...

Ah! Yes.

Bless me.

Pfft!

( typewriter clacking )

( typewriter clacking )

Ha!

Mwah.

Brilliant!

Right.

( tires screech )

( cash register rings )

( sighs )

( tires screech )

Hmm.

( snickering )

( growling )

( snickering )

( doorbell chimes )

( growling )

Oh, hello.

( garbled speech )

IRMA: Huh?

We're going to make a movie.

- Eh? - You and me.

A movie?!

- Yes! Come on! - Ohh!

Right. Here's my pitch,

or "the story."

IRMA: Ooh.

Me, you. Yes?

Oh, but wait.

I just put that in there. ( laughs )

Tsk! No!

Girly stuff.

Ahh! Haunted house.

Ooh.

( imitating thunder )

IRMA: Ooh!

( ghostly moaning )

( giggling )

MR. BEAN: ( chuckling )

- ( imitating door creaking ) - Ooh!

- And we see... - Yes?

The monster!

Oh! What?

You mean Teddy?

- No! - Oh?

No, no, no, no.

Mrs. Wicket.

Oooh!

Ohh!

IRMA: ( laughing ) Ohh, yes.

Yes?

IRMA: Go on.

We're making a film.

Oh?

- And we want you... - Mmm?

to be the star.

- Me? - Yeah. Yeah.

Ohh.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Mrs. Wicket! Over here!

MRS. WICKET: ( laughing ) It's just...

It's lovely.

I'll do it.

( snickering and clapping )

Right!

( amplified ) Let's make movies!

MRS. WICKET: Oh!

( chuckles )

Ooh.

IRMA: There. Just a bit there now.

MRS. WICKET: Ohh! Ohh!

( chuckling )

Ah.

( chuckles )

Oooh! Oooh!

( gasps )

Ah.

( grunts )

Now...

( as ghost ) Oooh!

Oooh!

There.

IRMA: Now.

Goes there.

MRS. WICKET: ( laughing ) Oh, God.

Let me see.

IRMA: Ooh! No, no.

MRS. WICKET: Ohh!

IRMA: Let's just pop the dryer.

- And there you go. - ( dryer whirring )

Hmm.

( clanking )

Excellent. Now...

You'll go on there.

Sorry.

( owl hooting )

Mmm.

( snickering )

Good. Good.

( amplified ) Action!

IRMA: Tsk! ( huffs )

( engine starts )

IRMA: Oh. Mmm.

Look!

Oh!

( eerie music playing )

Cut!

All right.

( dryer whirring )

( sniffing )

Ooh, it's hot.

Okay, so, you've seen the monster...

- Oh, yes. - And you go, "Aaah!"

- Okay? - Okay.

MR. BEAN: Okay. Action.

( quietly ) Aaah.

No, no, no, no, no.

Aaah!

- Oh. - Now...

Action.

( laughing )

Ohh!

Ah.

IRMA: ( laughing ) I can't!

It feels silly. ( laughing )

Ready. Action!

Aaah!

That hurt!

- That's better. - Ooh!

( sniffing )

Oh! Mrs. Wicket.

( dryer whirring )

( Irma gasps )

Ohh!

MRS. WICKET: What?

MR. BEAN: That's great.

( snickering )

( people chatting )

There.

Ah! Excellent.

Ohh! ( chuckling )

Very popular.

MAN: This better be good. ( chuckles )

MR. BEAN: Right.

Here we go.

( Mrs. Wicket laughing )

( snickering )

Ah. Ooh!

- ( Mr. Bean imitating thunder ) - ( melodramatic piano music )

Ohh!

Look!

Oh, yeah. This is gonna be rubbish.

( doorbell rings )

( door creaking )

MR. BEAN: What happened to the lights?

Aah!

Oh! ( chuckling )

- Oi! Shh!

Sorry.

MR. BEAN: Follow me.

( whimpering )

( door creaking )

( hissing )

( audience gasps )

MR. BEAN: Let's get out of here.

( hissing )

Quick! In here!

I'll just find the light switch.

( gasps )

What's that?

MR. BEAN: Ohh!

( Mr. Bean imitating thunder )

( both scream )

What?!

- ( growling ) - ( audience screaming )

Oh. Very good, dear.

Very good.

Yes. Great.

Thank you. ( chuckles )

Mwah!

And now for the best bit.

( snickers )

MR. BEAN: Come on, quick.

Get in the car.

( harried piano music playing )

IRMA: Ohh!

( both screaming )

( audience cheering wildly )

Thank you. Thank you.

I thank my mother, too.

Thank you. Oh, you're too kind.

And my co-stars.

( audience cheering )

IRMA: Thank you.

And who's the monster at the end?

- Teddy! - Oh!

( cheering )

Oh. What a triumph.

( music playing )

Oh. ( groans )

( sighs )

Whoa!

( flashlight bulb shatters )