Original subtitles

[Theme music]

[Music continues]

* Sailing sailing over the bounding main *

* There's many a...**

There's many-there's many...

What's all the quiet about? What's happened?

The motors have stopped, Mr. Bentley.

Motors have stopped? What for? Pirates?

No, sir. We've entered another port.

Naxos, a Greek island.

Oh, another port. Good.

We'll have a real day of bridge.

Instead of bouncing up and down on the waves

So you can't see your cards.

The Greek islands are very interesting, sir.

Why should I go ashore today?

You haven't been ashore any day, sir.

You forget, Grove. I'm on this trip for my health.

Running up and down a Greek island in the hot sun.

Besides, I'm 27,000 points behind.

I've heard you'd finessed the doctor's

Queen of hearts last night, sir.

Oh, you...

- Good morning, G.P. - 'Good morning, good morning.'

(Mr. Bentley) 'Who is it?'

- 'The doctor, sir.' - 'Oh, oh. Good morning.'

Radiogram came for you, a little while ago.

I took the liberty of opening it.

Yeah.

I see you've committed yourself

Of $400,000 in that McGranel's project.

You know, you said you'd talk to me

Before you did anything definite.

Oh, well, you're so conservative.

You would've investigated and hemmed and hawed.

And the first thing you know, it'd been too late.

But supposing you lose a 400,000.

What would your mother-in-law say?

My... mother-in-law?

(Male #1) 'Yes, you remember her, don't you? Mrs. Gage.'

Well, what do I care, what she says?

I am, what I am. The head of "Bentley and Gage."

She can't go on running my life for me.

I wouldn't talk like that in front of her picture.

Well...

Well, she can't hear me. Can she?

$400,000, is a lot of money to raise... if you lose it.

You'll have to go and ask her for it.

Well, I won't lose it.

And keep that soap out of my mouth.

You bit my finger, sir.

You know what'll happen, don't you?

If you did have to go and ask her for it.

She'd pay up, to save the honor of "Bentley and Gage."

Then she'll send you off to be

The head of the office in Finland or some place.

Finland? What's Finland got to do with the McGranel's deal?

Nobody's going to Finland.

Those phenomenal cards you've been holding lately

Must have gone to your head.

Go on out and start a bridge game.

- I'll be out in a minute. - Alright.

Soon as Grove decides to finish shaving me.

I pass.

Two diamonds.

Two spades.

Two, no trump.

Pass.

Three, no trump.

Four spades.

(Male #2) 'Four, no trump.'

- I pass. - Pass.

Five spades.

Double.

- I pass. - Pass.

Re-double.

Pass.

- I pass. - Pass.

What do you think, Grove?

With the greatest of luck, sir.

You should go down six.

- Oh, you... - Tea is served, Mr. Bentley.

Yes, but we don't want any tea.

Get outta here.

Yes, sir.

Where did you ever learn, how to play bridge?

All I did was pass.

Yes, well, you haven't got enough in your hand to pass.

- Good morning, everyone. - Hello, Kay.

Good morning, father.

How did you sleep?

[Chuckles] Oh, like a baby.

After that horrible bridge last night.

You must have no more conscience than a baby.

- Aw... - Good morning, darling.

Morning. You feel any better?

Oh, I feel fine.

Best part of these trips, is when the boat stops.

Well, remember, I want you to take care of yourself.

That is till after we are married.

You mean, till after we get that

Marriage settlement from grandma.

Well, if you wanna make a cad out of me, yes!

Don't you sometimes wonder whether it is worth it.

For three million dollars, I'd marry Grove.

Yes, I can understand that.

After all, I'm marrying you.

[Laughing]

Wanna play one, Kay?

No, thanks.

I'm going out to smell the harbor.

And if smells anything like the other harbors

We've been to, I'll be right back.

* Anchors away my lads...**

(Female #1) 'Oh, Miss Kay. Miss Kay'

- What? - Your shoes?

Would you have some bouillon, Miss Kay?

Well, you know, Grove, I was just thinking

I might establish history by being

The first one on board to go ashore.

After all I want my friends to know I've been to Greece.

Your father's never been ashore, Miss Kay.

But I'm sure all his friends will know he's been in Greece.

Say, maybe I could bring back a bag of Greek dirt.

I shall be very happy to purchase some dirt

For you when I go shopping, Miss Kay.

Are you're going shopping, Grove?

I bought supplies of practically all the Greek islands, Miss Kay.

Fun?

A bit uncomfortable, Miss Kay.

You see, donkeys are the usual means

Of transportation in the island.

Donkeys!

Oh, I haven't been on one for years.

When do we start?

The Pinnacle says that the island

Is pretty well stocked with brigands, Miss Kay.

Oh, brigands, huh?

Yes, Miss Kay.

Well, brigands are men, aren't they?

To the best of my knowledge, Miss Kay.

Then I can handle.

Now you go and get your nice, sensible hat and coat.

Oh, but I've got to serve the bouillon, Miss Kay.

[Splash]

We're going to ride donkeys, Grove.

Yes, Miss Kay.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Speaking in foreign language]

[Speaking in foreign language]

[Speaking in foreign language]

[Speaking in foreign language]

Oil, huh?

(Terence) 'Hey, throw me a sponge.'

'I want to wipe off her face.'

Oh, an accident.

Somebody buried alive?

Yes.

Really?

Hey, what's the matter with you idiots? Why ain't...

- 'Max.' - Yes, boss.

No visitors allowed, you do know that.

She's not a visitor. She just sorta walked in.

Mm, tell her to just walk out again.

Then you better get going, lady.

And what if I don't?

Well, I... just have to throw you out, I guess.

Don't you put your dirty hands on me.

As if anybody wanted to stay here.

[Screaming]

Are you hurt?

[Giggling] No.

I was just leaving.

You were sliding the wrong way.

[Chuckles]

- Is she alright? - 'Yes, boss. She alright'

- 'Wipe that dirt off her face.' - 'Alright, boss.'

- 'Oh, is that a Greek statue?' - Yes.

By Praxiteles I hope.

Uh... well.

That's the path out of the pit and down to the village.

Oh, well, I think, I'll stay here a little bit

If you don't mind.

Well, I'm afraid, I do mind.

- Oh, you do? - Yes.

Didn't you pass a big sign

As you came into the camp?

Yes, but I'm not smoking.

It said, "Keep out of here, no visitors allowed."

But...

Well, I'm not really a visitor.

Oh, a native, perhaps?

No, wrong again.

I'm from that yacht over there.

Oh... oh, well, I beg your pardon.

Of course, being off a yacht immediately entitles

You to the keys of the city.

Young lady, it makes no difference to me, I assure you.

Whether you're off a yacht or a canoe.

As a matter of fact, I prefer a canoe.

There's only one thing I dislike more than yachts.

And what's that?

Well, quite frankly

People off yachts.

Now, uh, would you mind leaving my camp, please?

You're not that hospitable, are you?

Well, this is not an amusement park, you know?

Well, you might at least show me the care and anxiety

You've shown that Greek totem pole down there.

That totem pole has been down there for about 2,000 years.

And I've spent the last two years of my life

Studying, planning and searching for it.

So if you don't mind by showing it a little care and anxiety

I'll return to my work.

Max, get the young lady's mule.

- What mule? - The young lady is leaving.

'What, uh...

Young lady's mule?

She ain't got one, boss.

Oh, but I must have.

Where did you tie your mule?

I didn't tie him.

I thought he'll just hang around.

A mule doesn't just hang around?

Alright, then what does he do?

I don't know. I'm not a mule.

Certainly had me fooled.

Uh, we have an extra one in camp.

No, sir boss, we fresh out a mule.

Well, it looks as if you'll return

To the village without the benefit of mule.

[Chuckling] But how?

Well, there's the path.

Max will show you the trail.

Oh, I walk, huh?

Thank you.

Well, show her the trail. It'll save her half a mile walk.

Here, are you sure you haven't got too much

'Weight on the base down there?'

'Take it easy now. Steady.'

Oh! Oo!

- Boss. - Mmm?

She's down again.

[Kay groaning]

What's the matter now?

Hey, you steady?

- Steady. - Oo!

I must have done something

To my ankle when I fell.

But you didn't land on your ankle.

Oh, well, don't bother about me. I'll manage... somehow.

Mmm, we'll have to get you carried down somehow.

Max!

A bit undersized. I'll tell one of the Greeks.

- Oh, no! - 'Why? Anti Greek?'

(Kay) 'No, it's just these particular men.'

They're-they're-they're dirty.

See, they might have the same complaint about you.

You know, the trouble with you is you're class conscious.

No, I'm not really, but...

No, please, I'd be scared.

Young lady, do you realize I'm having more trouble

In getting rid of you, than I had

In locating and digging up that statue?

I'm so sorry.

Come on.

Don't touch anything till I get back.

- Are you English? - Irish.

- Where in Ireland? - Belfast.

What happened to your brogue?

I never had one.

I don't smoke a clay pipe.

And I don't sing tenor.

You're a fake Irishman.

Uh-huh. I think we'll rest a while. I'm tired.

Sissy.

Sissy?

Oh, wait a minute now! Hey!

Hey, put me down, take it easy.

I was only kidding, Oh, please!

Hey, listen, please be careful, please.

You needn't take me seriously, come on.

Sissy!

Alright, I'm a sissy. But let's sit down.

[Laughing]

Oh!

You can put me down on the grass if you want?

Uh, you don't bother me.

Well, I wouldn't mind being down there.

Uh, sit still. You're easier to lift that way.

- Oh! - Oh!

[Chuckles]

Well! We better be getting on.

Ouch!

It's a mighty powerful grip you've got there.

Ah, soft!

Like all people with too much money.

You become mentally and physically soft.

Thank you for carrying me this far.

I think I can manage by myself.

Ooh!

[Laughing]

(Kay) 'Which way is thewall from here?'

Around that corner to the right and straight ahead.

"Around that corner to the right and straight ahead."

What do you say we rest a minute?

Then make one final drive.

We rest?

- Thank you. - Ha!

- You alright? - Fine.

You know, it's really been sweet of you to carry me this far.

I've enjoyed it very much.

You talk as if I weren't

Gonna carry you any further.

Well, as a matter of fact.

I think I can make it nicely now by myself.

Thank you so much.

Bye.

[Laughing]

Ooh!

Ah, let me go.

[Chuckles] Let me go!

Ah!

Let me go.

I was only joking.

Please, will you please let me go.

Ah!

Here!

Now, there's the trail and here you are

Back where you started from.

Now... walk!

[Bell dings]

[Waves gushing]

[Anchor chain screeching]

Captain...

Couldn't we, uh, head for Greek island tomorrow?

But, we've been to all of them.

Well, we can go to Naxos.

But... we're just leaving Naxos.

Look, I've just got to be in Naxos tomorrow morning.

Couldn't we, uh, sort of, um...

Sail around all night and then head back

For Naxos in the morning.

Now, you know Mr. Bentley's orders, I can't...

Mr. Bentley doesn't know Naxos

From Jersey City, really he doesn't.

I've just got to be there, please.

You don't know, how much I'd appreciate it.

- Oh, please. - Miss Bentley.

- I can't... - I knew you would.

Thank you so much.

No, but I...

Here we are in Naxos, Grove.

I find these Greek islands very much alike, Miss Kay.

Oh, no-no-no, not Naxos.

See Naxos and die.

As one who has no right to speak, Miss Kay.

I wouldn't go ashore.

Wouldn't you, Grove?

You see, your father's

In a highly excitable condition.

So am I, Grove. So am I.

[Speaking in foreign language]

How much?

[Speaking in foreign language]

I don't wanna buy him.

I ain't gonna sell him.

Skip it.

[Instrumental music]

Do you know that if I hadn't seen you come in here

I would have had to go all the way up that mountain.

- Why? - To see you again.

If you wanted to cause trouble, you're too late.

We've got the statue out.

No, I wanted to apologize for acting

So childishly yesterday.

It was very silly of me.

Yes, it was.

Was I really so unforgivable?

You wouldn't understand, being off a yacht.

Oh, but I'm not really.

Well, you didn't rise out of the sea did you?

Like Aphrodite.

Well, in a way I'm off the yacht.

You see, I'm the owner's secretary.

Oh!

His, uh... his secretary?

Mmm-mm.

You're an uncommonly elegant secretary.

Well, thank you. Now, may I sit down?

Oh, yes. Yes, please.

Here, you... Wait a minute!

Oh.

Oh, I'm-I'm-I'm really terribly sorry. I-I-I...

Oh, yeah. That's alright, alright.

Here. Here, sit on mine.

Go on, please.

Well... if you wish it.

But you did it.

Well, you wanted me to, didn't you?

Yes.

- My name's Terrence O'Neill. - Mine's Ann Morrison.

Well, let's have lunch together.

Waiter!

'Waiter.'

You shouldn't startle the man that way.

- What does he want? - He's the waiter.

But who waits on him?

Anybody who isn't busy at the moment.

Um, well, do you've any particular craving?

No, you order. Something nice and Grecian.

Two roast beef.

Roast beef.

Since when is roast beef a native dish?

Roast beef is a general term on this island.

It might mean roast beef or it might mean fish

Or vegetable plate or dog.

You'll tell me if it's dog, won't you?

If I can, they'll fool you sometimes.

Tell me something else, will ya?

What?

Why should a man want to become

An archeologist of all things?

No reason. Digging is born in a man.

My mother wanted me to wear a stiff collar and be a broker.

[Giggles]

Well, you're a long way

From where ever the Irish Wall Street is.

I know.

Have you ever worked in an office and worn stiff collar.

[Chuckles] No.

Well, I've worked in an office of course.

Well, I used to walk up and down 14 flights of stairs everyday.

Why? No elevator?

Or did walking give you a sense of freedom?

That's right, I can't breathe in an elevator.

Well, there I'd sit in my office.

And there were four walls around me

And one above and one below.

Well, I should hope so, 14 flights up.

And there I'd sit and my collar would get tighter and tighter.

And the walls were closing in on me.

And I'd sit and I'd sit and sit and sit

Until one day I just couldn't stand it anymore.

'And you know what I did?'

You stood up?

I screamed.

I yelled as loud as I possibly could.

They tried to stop me and I wouldn't.

So then they fired me.

'They thought I was hopelessly batty.'

So do I?

And so do I?

But crazy or not. Here I am and I'm happy.

I can go where I like, do what I like

And what's more important

I can think what I like.

- Roast beef. - Ah-ha!

Kinda stringy for roast beef, isn't it?

Oh, I like mine that way.

Medium stringy.

[Radio static]

You know I've just found out something.

What is it?

I'm the only sane person on this whole island.

[Speaking in foreign language]

More roast beef?

He means he's got another station.

Oh, hurray!

Let's dance?

Oh, no, thanks.

Why not?

Well, I'd rather not.

Do I revoke you?

Oh, no-no, it's alright.

I can't dance.

[Chuckles] Oh, no. Really?

No, really?

But that sounds impossible.

Haven't you ever?

Well, when I was a kid I used to do

A creditable highland fling

And I used to dance waltzes with little girls.

This is a waltz.

I know.

Ah, come on.

Oh, well. Alright.

Good.

[Instrumental music]

I'm afraid I'm stepping all over you.

No, you're not, this is a very bad dance floor

And the music isn't much good.

In addition to which, I have very big feet.

I've always had 'em.

Oh, one usually does. But you're very graceful.

Thank you.

You know, I think I like archeology.

Do you know anything about it?

I can learn.

[Laughing]

[Opera music]

[Kay sighs]

What a night?

I've known worse days, too.

Oh, much worse.

I was just thinking...

What about?

Centuries ago, there was a man standing here

Who felt exactly the same as I do.

His name was Pygmalion.

(Kay) 'Again?'

Pygmalion. He was the bachelor God.

He hated mortal women.

He was afraid of them and mistrusted them.

Hi, Pyg.

Hello.

You see, Pyg was a sculptor.

And it was pretty lonely for him at times

Just sculpting with nobody to love him.

I've known a lot of sculptors

And they didn't seem to have so much trouble.

Well, he did.

One day he just couldn't stand it any longer.

So he decided to create the woman of his dreams.

Like all lonely men, he used to dream a lot.

- And women. - And women.

So he created the statue of his perfect woman.

And he called her "Galatea."

Alright, so what? He only had a lot of stone in his hands.

Yes, that was a drawback.

You see, she had no soul.

So she couldn't ever love Pygmalion.

Aw, poor Pyg.

But one day he happened to run into Venus.

The Goddess of Love.

And he told Venus all his troubles.

And Venus told him to go home and leave everything to her.

Ha, good ol' Venus.

So he went home and when he got in

There was Galatia standing exactly as he'd left her.

As she was looking at her...

Suddenly he thought he saw one eye move.

Then the other.

And her lips moved.

And she smiled at him.

Then what happened?

She lived. His dream came true.

Ann. I love you, Ann.

Do you, Terry?

Oh, I-I know it sounds impossible

And insane and things don't happen

That way but... I do.

Why, you're the nicest archaeologist I've ever met.

I'm the happiest archaeologist that ever lived.

- You know what? - No what?

I love you.

I'm kinda happy tonight, too.

And tomorrow.

And every tomorrow to come.

I won't be here tomorrow.

Oh, but you can't leave me now.

You can stay in the village.

- No-no, I can't. - I'll go with you to your boat.

I'll explain to your employer.

I'll tell him, he can't have Ann Morrison anymore.

- She's mine. - Oh, I couldn't leave him.

Well, then, when and where will I see you?

Well, if-if you could come to New York.

Where in New York?

At the office at Bentley and Gage.

Well, just, uh, "Bentley and Gage, New York?"

[Chuckles] Yes.

I really should be going.

Oh, you'll be a fine Galatea.

To run away just when you've come to life.

(Grove) 'Miss Kay.'

'Oh, Miss Kay.'

What is it, Grove? What's the matter?

I've been searching for you, most desperately.

The yacht is leaving at once for Naples.

We are hurrying to New York.

Is anything wrong with my... With Mr. Bentley?

Mr. Bentley has received a radiogram from Mrs. Gage.

She says his health has improved sufficiently.

And he's to come home at once.

Alright.

I've got to go now.

Yes, I'll...

I'll go with you to your boat.

Mr. Piper and the doctor

Are also ashore looking for you.

Thank you, Grove.

Now you better not. It's easier this way.

You know, suddenly.

I suppose, and...

[Chuckles]

I'll see you in New York then.

What? Oh, yes. Of course.

So long, Ann.

Goodbye, Terry.

[Clears throat] If you pardon me for saying so, Miss Kay.

Brigands are apparently not the only danger in the Greek hills.

There's no real danger, Grove.

He seemed to be very intense young man.

You don't suppose he might follow you?

I hope he knows better than that.

Anyhow, he couldn't find me.

I gave him the wrong name.

[Engine revving]

[Speaking in Greek]

- 'Hello, folks.' - Terence.

- Terry! - Hi.

- Hello, Betty. How are you? - What brings you here?

Well, the boat brought me here, and I brought the statue.

But I thought that Max will...

No, I couldn't trust Max

To take that statue all the way to New York.

New York! Are you going to New York?

Now, that makes sense.

Why the sudden change, Terry.

I thought New York made you dizzy.

I won't mind being dizzy this time

I'm going to New York to get married.

Married? To whom?

- A girl of the yachts. - What girl of what yacht?

Well, her name is Ann Morrison.

She's secretary to Mr... Who's this? Who owns it.

- The-the yacht I mean. - Of course.

Uh, you've known her for sometime, uh...

You know all about her?

I've known her for two days.

- Two days? - Yeah.

I see. Very well, you run get your ticket...

Alright.

Uh, Terry. You don't have to get any tickets.

- You can use mine. - What about you?

Well, there is no reason of our both going.

Well, that's a waste of money.

Uh, don't you think I'm going to New York

To take care of statues and deliver lectures

And shake hands with a board of trustees.

I'll be busy getting married.

- Oh, I see no reason... - I-I-I think he's right, Betty.

- You-you run along, Terry. - Alright.

- Now, what deck you're in? - Well, I'm...

- B deck, cabin 147. - "B deck, cabin 147."

I'll tell you all about it on the way across.

You'll be crazy about her!

Hmm, I'm sure I will. "Crazy" is the word.

You will have to take care of him, Betty.

What he doesn't know about women

Will fill the archeological files of the British Museum.

Yes, I guess so.

[Foghorn blaring]

- Sixty three. - Excuse me, please. Excuse me.

- Oh! - Beg your pardon.

Thank you. I'm sorry.

Going up.

[Clears throat]

Hello. I'd like to see Miss Morrison.

I can't hear you. What did you say?

[Clears throat] Miss-Miss Ann Morrison. I'd like to see her, please.

She's in with Mr. Bentley.

- Oh, in there. - One minute please.

Take your seat. She'll be out soon.

Oh... thanks.

Ah, you have a nice collection of factory pictures.

They are all Gage and Bentley's subsidiaries.

Is she another subsidiary?

(Male #3) 'She's Mr. Bentley's mother in law.'

'Mrs. O.H.B. Gage. She controls everything.'

Everything? Ha! She looks it. Doesn't she?

This gentleman has been looking for you.

- Do you want to speak to me? - Uh, no, ma'am.

Didn't you say you want to speak to Miss Morrison?

That's right. That's what I said.

Well...

- Well... - This is Miss Morrison.

[Chuckles] I'm sorry, but it's not.

I'm Miss Morrison.

I mean Miss Ann Morrison.

I am Miss Ann Morrison.

Well, I'm very sorry.

But you see, I know Miss Ann Morrison.

Wait a minute.

Is your name... Pyg?

Well, yes, uh...

And you're the one whose been sending me all these wires?

Well...

I send them, yes. But-but not to you!

Well, maybe you thought were sending them for somebody else.

Well, I did, I...

Look, wha-wha...

When Mr. Bentley went out on this trip

Was there a young lady with him?

Yes, his daughter was with him.

Oh, I see.

I can give you Miss Bentley's home address.

No-no thank you. Miss Bentley could've done that.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

(Mr. Bentley) 'You can never know the beauty that is Greece'

Unless, uh, of course you've been there.

It was my privilege to spend sometime

On the island of Na-Na-Naxos

At the very time that this statue was discovered.

I can only say that it wasn't easy work

It was very hard.

But if the discovery of this statue

Should bring one moments happiness to anyone

One added shred of prestige to The United States Of America

Then our efforts shall not have been in vein.

[Crowd applauding]

Just a flash. Just a moment. Just hold on.

How about one shaking hands with the statue, Mr. Bentley?

- Why, sure. - Oh, pardon me.

May I suggest Mr. O'Neill be in the picture?

Oh, who? O'Brian? Who's O'Brian?

Mr. O'Neill. He's the young man who found the statue.

Oh! He found... by all means. Where is he?

(Male #4) 'Uh, Terry, will you step here a moment please?'

Mr. Bentley, this is Terence O'Neill.

Oh, how do you do, young man?

Well, we, we certainly dug up a good one, didn't we?

Oh, we certainly did.

Hey, tell me, do you prefer a stratum of crystal

In limestone to one of nice?

Uh...

Oh... that depends.

Oh, on what?

Well... uh...

You see... I don't even know what you're talking about.

Being on the museum board of directors isn't my idea.

I married the job.

I don't know one statue from an other

Except that some of them have arms and some haven't.

I thought you didn't.

Well, I thought you thought I didn't.

Despite Mr. O'Neill's Praxiteles theory

There is a chance that the statue even may be by Phidias.

Bi-phidias? You mean am-phidias, don't you?

Phidias was the name of a great Greek sculptor.

Phidias who?

I-I, I beg your pardon. I don't even know her last name.

The name is undoubtedly Popocopulous.

- Papa what? - You're expected at home, G.P.

Oh, why do I have to go home now?

I'm very interested in this young man. I wanna talk to him.

You come along with us, Mr. O'Malley.

And let's have some cocktails.

Oh, thanks very much. But, uh, I don't like cocktails.

Oh, he doesn't like cocktails.

Well, I wanna know you better.

You come along and tell me

All about this Phidias, Papa, whatever it is

And why you think she built this statue.

And what about the young lady?

Oh, I'm Betty Collins.

I'm Mr. O'Malley's associate.

I do like cocktails. But I have to stay here with the statue.

- There's work to be done. - We both have work to do.

And what's one man's work is another man's pleasure.

Oh, it is? Well, I...

Well, Mr. Terry has work to do. Perhaps some other time?

Oh, no. No, no.

Never put off to some other time

What you can do this time.

Or something like that. Come along, Mr. O'Toole.

Tell me. Do you really like spading around? Come on.

Hey, come on up here. There we are.

- Oh, hello. - Oh, how do you do?

You two know each other?

Whilst making purchases at Naxos, sir

I took the liberty of visiting the archeological expedition.

Well, I wish I had known that, Grove.

You could've made my speech for me at the museum.

Is the, uh, is the party still on?

Oh, there's still a few guests left, sir.

Yeah. Yes, well, ask Miss Kay to come into the library.

I want her to meet Mr. O'Toole.

Y-y-you want her to meet Mr. O'Neill, sir...

That's what I said. Stop making me repeat myself.

Grove's getting old, you know.

Been in the family for almost, I mean, too long.

This, uh, this is my library.

I've made quite a collection of, uh...

Ha, you've a lot of books here.

Oh, yes. 4,000 volumes.

(Terry) 'You specialize in any particular subject?'

(Mr. Bentley) 'Uh, oh... I, do I specialize?'

(Male #1) 'Yes. There are 2,800 detective stories.'

'The rest are uncut.'

(Mr. Bentley) 'Oh, yes. I'm must get around to cutting them one of these days.'

Oh, Kay. I want you to meet a very important young man.

This is Mr. O'Toole.

Who discovered a statue that may turn out to be by Phidipopolous.

This is my daughter, Kay. She was with us at Naxos.

- How do you do, Miss Bentley? - Hello.

This is the kind of fellow you wanna know who'd do you good.

I mean, meet a fella who does something.

Take him into your party and let him meet some of your friends.

Oh! Yeah, my mistake. His name is O'Neill. Terence O'Neill.

Oh, thank you.

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh, there you are, Kay. Goodbye. And we've had a lovely time.

Goodbye, Loris. Thank you so much for coming.

- Mr. O'Neill, Loris. - How do you do?

Mr. O'Neill is a very well known archeologist.

Mr. O'Neill, the arch-cheologist.

Why his name's in the papers.

You found one of those new Egyptian tombs or something.

- Didn't you? - Oh, no. It was a statue.

- And I found it in Greece. - Of course. How silly of me.

But how amazing of you. Don't you think so?

Oh, yes. Amazing.

How do you ever find these statues?

You don't just dig at random, do you?

Oh, no. There's very little guess work about it.

Before any digging can be done, there must be months and perhaps

Years of historical and geographical research.

Oh, then there are all sorts of elements to consider.

The season of the year and the geological strat...

Oh, how terribly fascinating. But interesting.

- Goodbye, Kay. - Goodbye, darling.

And thanks, Mr. O'Neill, it's been lovely

Learning all about archeology.

Come, Jimmy. We're going to be late.

- Goodbye, Kay. - Goodbye.

- 'Hello darling.' - Hello.

Well, here's old medicine man, Gene.

With his Doctor Piper's Indian remedy for man and beast.

Gene, this is Mr. O'Neill. Mr. O'Neill, Mr. Piper.

- Have a drink? - Oh, no. Thanks.

- Just had your tonsils out? - No, thanks. I don't want one.

Mr. O'Neill is an archeologist. Father met him at the museum.

Oh, really? That's fine.

Kay, dear. I'm afraid we'll have to be leaving.

Mr. O'Neill, may I present Miss Wilcox, Mr. Ashum, Miss Lee

Miss Ellis, Mr. Waterbay Junior and Mrs. Waterbay Junior.

Gracious. What strong hands the man has.

Yes. Hasn't he?

- Polo? - I beg your pardon.

He means you get those hands from handling a polo mallet.

Oh, no. I got it from handling a shovel.

A shovel? Does the man think he's a farmer.

- What man? - Why, you of course.

Oh, I see. You kept referring to a man.

I didn't quite know who you meant.

It's just a way of talking, Mr. O'Neill.

I see. A peculiar way of talking.

When you get right down to it, life itself is most peculiar.

- Come, Junior. - I'll see you.

Nice crowd.

Uh, yes. Lot of people here.

Oh, not many, uh, most of them have left.

- Oh, is that so? - Yes, sir.

- Most of them have gone home. - Huh...

Still a lot left though.

And not many are they.

Uh, pardon me.

Would you like to meet some more of my friends?

I'd enjoy that tremendously. Thank you.

I was afraid of that.

Now that, was in the fourth.

So here we were in the fifth chucker.

Only the fifth, mind you. And I had run out of ponies.

I felt an awful beggar. Asking Leibowitz for one of his.

Polo's getting to be almost like golf.

The first thing you know, there will be public playing fields.

Oh, it's getting so, anyone with eight or ten ponies

Can play the game now.

Don't you think so, Mr. O'Neill?

Oh, I don't think you need fear of a crowding, Miss Bentley.

There are millions of people in this country

Who if they had one pony, they'd eat it.

I-I-I beg your pardon.

Oh, that's alright.

Some people over here you haven't met.

Did he say e-eat a pony?

(Female #2) 'Hey, Vy.'

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh, it's already getting late.

- You coming my way, O'Neill? - No, thank you.

My car's outside. I'd be glad to give you a lift...

No, thank you.

Well, good afternoon.

[Off-key piano music]

Been in New York long?

- Since yesterday. - Staying on?

No. Going back on the same boat. The day after tomorrow.

Nice on the ocean this time of the year.

Yes.

I don't know anything quite as sad looking

As an old piece of Caviar.

Why did you lie to me in Naxos?

Have I been properly sworn in?

Why did you lie to me?

I don't know.

Maybe because I was lonely...

It was a terrific moon or something like that.

Something like that is a... pretty cheap reason, isn't it?

Well, that fits right in with what you think

Of all of us, doesn't it?

People with too much money for their own good.

- Yes, it does. - Yes, I know it does.

You took great pain as to remind me of it on that island.

Alright, I'll remind you about it now.

I kissed you because... well, because I wanted to kiss you.

Maybe it was on account of the moon and...

Maybe it was for love. So I don't know. I've forgotten.

There it was I kissed you.

But I didn't kiss you with a marriage license in my pocket.

I told you I was Ann Morrison because I...

Well I thought it was a cute idea.

But I didn't say it was till death do us apart.

That was your own idea. So you work it out.

- And that's all there is? - There isn't anymore.

It's been nice seeing you.

Tell me. Have you ever been punched right in the nose?

- No. - Sit down.

- Did you ring, Miss Kay? - I certainly did...

- Sit down! No one rang. - Thank you, sir.

I came all the way from Greece to see you.

I was an idiot. Frankly you're not worth walking from here to...

Then why don't you walk right out of here...

Sit down!

You know, you're probably not an unusual type.

I just saw a whole room full of people like you

And I guess there must be thousands more in the world.

Selfish, thoughtless, spoiled, worthless people

Without a thought to the world around them...

I will not sit here an other moment.

And whatever happens to interest them at the moment.

Well, I guess there must be thousands of people

Like me in the world too.

Ordinary people. Without much wit.

Silly enough to be honest with each other.

They might feel sorry of having done what you've done.

They might even apologize.

Oh, but you think you're right.

That's why it's silly for me to talk.

I'm not angry, I'm very thankful

It happened this way and this quickly.

It's alright. I can show myself out.

[Door closes]

Grove!

Yes, Miss Kay.

Has Mr. O'Neill left?

Yes, Miss Kay.

He came all the way from Greece just to see me.

So I imagined, Miss Kay.

He's a very nice young man, isn't he?

Exceedingly nice, Miss Kay.

And I'm an exceedingly nasty young woman.

Go ahead. Say it out loud, Grove.

(Grove) 'Yes, Miss Kay.'

We'll be closin' in a few minutes, miss.

Oh, but I've come to hear the lecture by Mr. O'Neill.

It must be nearly over.

Good. Then I'll hear the finale.

Shhh, shhh.

I'm sorry, miss, but nobody's allowed to go in

While the lecture's on.

But I must see Mr. O'Neill.

Orders are orders.

I'm Miss Kay Bentley.

Oh, are ya? Well, I'm Patrick Oshe.

And nevertheless nobody's allowed to go

In there while the lecture's on.

My father is G.P. Bentley. He's a trustee of this museum.

Oh, is he now? Your father is...

Well, let me tell you somethin' about my father. My father's a...

Oh, a trustee did you say he was?

- I did. - Oh, I'm sorry.

Wait a minute, please.

[Indistinct chatter]

Miss Bentley, here.

- Miss Bentley? - Yes.

- I'll watch the door, Mr. Oshe. - Yes, madam.

I'm Betty Collins. Mr. O'Neill's associate.

Mr. O'Neill's in the middle of his lecture.

I'd like to go in.

Well, come in. Please be as quiet as possible.

That we can be definite about Praxiteles.

And it is gratifying historically.

To realize how much is due to Praxiteles in determining

The tone and character of all Athenian art in the 4th century.

[Applause]

[Indistinct chatter]

Have you found any evidence of a possible theatre?

Uh, not so far. I think we're a little early for that.

Our temple seems to predate Aeschylus but...

Aeschylus by, um... by-by several hundred years.

Where will you be able to address my seminar class

Next Friday, Mr. O'Neill?

I'm very sorry, Professor Douglas.

I'm leaving for Greece tomorrow.

Oh, that's too bad. Won't you reconsider that?

I'm having a archeological symposium next week

And I'd rather counted on your being with us.

I'm sorry. Thank you. But I'm afraid I have to get back.

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh, Betty. Wait a minute. I'll see you home.

No. Thanks very much but I'm leaving with Doctor Hess.

I've some work to do. Good day.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Well...

Even worthless people turn dull enough to apologize sometimes.

I've come to say I'm sorry.

For what?

Well, for the way I've acted.

For the way I've talked and for the way I am.

I can't help any of them.

Please don't think I'm being melodramatic. I'm not.

Everything I say makes sense.

You see, ever since I was six weeks old

I've had what I wanted.

(Kay) 'The only creative work I've ever done is'

To think up things to want.

And now I want something I can't have.

I wanna know what it feels like to come all the way

'From Greece just to see someone.'

But I won't.

Maybe it's because I'm not worth walking to the corner

'For myself.'

And when you get back to Naxos...

Just don't remember me.

That's all.

I believe you meant what you just said.

(Kay) 'I do.'

Then why not do something about it.

- I can't. - What do you mean you can't?

I just can't. That's the way I am.

Oh, stop talking like that. It's so weak.

I know I'm a spoiled little brat but can't do anything about it.

You mean you won't?

Alright, then. Maybe that is what I mean.

But you just said you wanted to.

I said nothing of the kind. I merely told you what I am.

Well, stop being what you are.

All those pretty words don't mean anything.

All this stuff about

"I am what I am and I can't do anything about it"

Doesn't fool me for a minute.

I assure you I am not trying to fool you for a minute.

And I haven't the slightest desire to make you think

Better or worse of me.

Then why did you come here?

Must have been something I ate for supper last night.

- No doubt. Goodbye. - Goodbye!

- For the last time I hope. - You can count on that!

- I intend to! - Good!

A fine mess you turned out to be.

Just a big lump of rock.

This is terribly embarrassing.

I'm locked in. I-I can't find my way out.

They leave a side door open.

If you'll, uh... if you'll follow me, I'll take you to it.

I suppose you're hurt.

I am not. Not a bit.

You love me, Kay.

- Stop being silly. - I have stopped.

And it's about time you stopped too.

Terry, the mere factor we're male and female isn't enough.

We're not a couple of stray animals. We're different breeds.

(Kay) 'Think differently. Act differently.'

'There isn't anything we have in common. '

That's the way it would always be.

One of us would be wrong all the time.

But all that is no reason.

Well, uh, there is no reason.

I can't give you a reason why one of these mummies

Won't toe dance...

Only it just can't happen and...

I don't love you simply because I don't love you, that's all.

I was very nasty too you and I've just apologized now...

How can you possibly gather from that that I love you?

Very easily.

Listen. You're tall and handsome and have a very nice smile.

You dance pretty badly and your clothes barely cover you.

And you're an archeologist.

Alright, we could talk about archeology for one night and...

And we could play two handed bridge for a while, but...

But you don't like my friends.

Y-you don't speak their language and you don't do

What ever it is they do and...

[Gasps]

I've told you over and over again.

I-it's no use. I just... don't love you.

And you were tellin' me it was the mummies

Doin' all the talkin'. Huh.

Well, it's all settled.

I saw your grandmother and she was wonderful.

When the clan gathers at the house in Connecticut

For Christmas the news of the marriage

Will be announced to an anxious world.

Holy matrimony to follow shortly thereafter.

How short is shortly thereafter?

Or are you giving me a surprise wedding?

We'll give you time to get your hair done and maybe a facial.

That's mighty decent of both you and grandma.

How 'bout Grove? Have you checked with him?

He might have an idea on whether the living room

Should be done in black or white.

Oh, Kay. Say, what is this?

Are you taking the entire junior league to the Opera ball?

No. Terry O'Neill's going with us.

Terry O'Neill?

Oh, the big, the big statue man from Ireland.

Yeah, but, Kay, we're going to the Opera ball.

They allow Irish men in the opera house.

Probably start digging up the orchestra pit.

- 'Hi. Hello.' - 'Hello, Betty. Where's Terry?'

He's out by the full length mirror in the hall.

He fascinates himself.

Betty Collins, Gene Piper.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

(Terry) 'Ahem!'

And just then, in walked with the best dress, men should wear.

Your lapels are too long.

Where did you have that suit made?

My London tailor made this.

Oh, and where were you at the time?

Uh, also your trousers are not supposed to

Break over the in-step.

How would you know?

Your American tailor told me.

He also said that it was a pleasure to make trousers

For the man who didn't have any hips.

How do you do it? Diet?

Polo. Hardly a day passes I don't play my 18 holes of Polo.

You see, you don't have to make any sense

If you don't have any hips.

Oh, this is the first girdle I've worn since my junior prom

And it's killing me.

- Hello there, Mr. O'Toole. - O'Neill.

Of course, O'Neill. And Miss Collin.

- Collins. - Yes. That's what I said.

Oh, you're joking.

Well, are we all going together?

- Yes. - That's fine. Let's get going.

I don't believe Betty and Terry know the doctor.

We met in the museum. In fact we're almost old friends.

'We just missed meeting at Naxos, didn't we?'

- 'Naxos?' - Yes.

Mr. O'Neill and Kay became great friends at Naxos.

Well, I never saw you ashore in Naxos doctor.

Well, what's all this nonsense?

We only spent one day at Naxos.

Two days, the captain became confused

'And turned back to Naxos the day after we left it.'

Two days? I never knew we spent two days in Naxos.

Shall we, uh?

Why, Terry and I had two years at Naxos.

Is there anything you wanna tell me about what happened in Naxos?

Well, if you really wanna know, I met him the first day

And decided I wanted to see him again, so I went back.

Then he came to New York after me.

And is he gonna get what he came after?

I don't know. What do you think?

Do you love him?

Well, I must.

But how do you know when you're really in love?

Well, the day after I met your mother, I broke out on a rash.

Still I don't imagine that holds good for everybody.

Have you ever noticed how he hasn't got any hips at all?

Huh? Yes. Well, uh, what about Gene and your grandmother?

Darling, if they really love each other

Who am I to stand in their way?

You mean you really feel that way about it?

Yeah, but suppose the old lady says nothing doing...

I mean, no O'Toole's in the family. What then?

I don't know.

He hasn't got a thing to his name but that statue.

Yeah. That doesn't belong to him.

I know it doesn't.

I suppose if I really loved him I...

I'd donate all of my money to the relief of the

Frostbitten second baseman and...

Spend the rest of my life in a tent cleaning arrowheads.

Well, suppose you make up your mind whether you love him.

And if you do, you oughta have him.

And as far as the money is concerned, I can help.

I mean, maybe a little hat at Eastertime and...

And an electric toaster to keep you away from the stove.

Oh, you're a sweet soul.

Yes, well, it took you over 20 years

To find out what I've known all my life.

[Orchestra music]

Kidnapping is now a federal offense.

I don't like your attitude, Kay.

- Alright. - Alright what?

Alright, you don't like my attitude.

I didn't intend starting a vaudeville routine.

I merely meant to suggest a lil' more consideration for me.

After all, Gene, this is no place

To discuss our immortal souls.

[Knock on door] Come in.

Miss Bentley and Mr. Piper.

We're ready for you to start the ball now.

- Will you come down? - Yes. In just a moment.

So that's how you feel about it, huh?

Roughly, yes.

I suppose you know that you and that gravedigger

Are making us both look kind of silly.

- To whom? - Well, to everybody.

How would I look getting the go by for a guy

With no hips and baggy pants?

If you mean the man with the non breaking trousers

And the correct lapels.

Say you might look kinda...

Well, suppose you take those correct lapels

And open the ball with him.

Gene, you've had your idea for the week.

- Terry? - Hello.

Come on. You and I are gonna open the ball.

Fine. What do we do? Press a button?

No silly. We dance.

Oh-ho! You oughta know better than that.

But it's a waltz.

Well, why didn't you say so before?

Well, that's something.

I thought you and Kay were opening the ball.

Well, we, uh, we changed our minds.

Hmm. You're doing just fine. I can see that.

[Indistinct chatter]

- Well, you scared? - Kind of.

It'd be a lot easier if say

Five more couples would start this dance with us.

Oh, now, darling. Don't go upsetting tradition.

I'm going to upset plenty of tradition

When I fall right on my rear. Look at this dance.

You'll be the talk of the evening.

That's what I'm afraid of.

[Orchestra music]

Well, hang on. Here we go.

- I-I'm gonna get fancy. - Oh, Terry.

I never saw a handsome looking couple in my life.

They've got everything on the floor beaten.

They're dancing, I should say

Could stand a little more practice.

Well, they'll get plenty of time to practice.

- Can you keep a secret? - I think I know it.

About how she might marry him?

- What do you think? - You really wanna know?

Of course I wanna know what you think about anything.

I suppose you read the financial page in tonight's paper.

No, I didn't see it. What's that about the...

That McGranel's deal...

Which you were so sure off on the boat fell through.

They're gonna want that $400,000 very very soon.

Oh...

My mother-in-law...

She's a cinch to send me to

Finland or Iceland or somewhere.

Can't you do something?

Well, I did have a plan, it depended on

Kay marrying Gene Piper.

They tell me it gets pretty cold in Finland.

I think maybe I'll go to Spain.

You know, don't you, that you could probably persuade

Kay to marry Gene Piper?

Yes, I know.

I'll go to Spain.

G.P., there are moment when I think I've underestimated you.

Yeah?

G.P., leap out of that chair and come and dance with me.

There won't be another waltz for half an hour.

I just left Terry with three dowagers.

He's telling them how he got such nice strong hands.

I expect the rash at any moment now. Come on. Let's dance.

No, no. No dancing for me tonight.

- I'm over the age limit. - Oh, but you promised me.

Yes, I know, but, I-I, don't feel like dancing tonight.

Darling, don't you feel well?

Oh, I've never felt better in my life.

- Maybe later, huh? - Yes. Maybe later.

What's it all about?

Kay, do you think you're being quite fair to Gene?

That has nothing to do with my father. What's wrong with him?

O'Neill, after all, hasn't a penny.

Dad will help.

Enough say for a townhouse and a country house

And, uh, two, three cars?

Probably. But you're still not answering my question.

Your father can't help you a bit.

He's in very serious financial trouble.

But that's impossible.

To say Bentley and Gage is in trouble

Is like saying the Rock of Gibraltar is afloat.

Unfortunately this has nothing to do with Bentley and Gage.

He's been speculating privately.

And has lost a tremendous amount of money.

You understand of course that he can't borrow it openly.

And you must also realize what the attitude

Of your grandmother would be.

Well, I-isn't there anything we can do?

I could think of only one way out.

I thought that if you could, uh, announce your engagement to Gene

At your grandmother's house. On Christmas Day...

We could appropriate enough of

Your marriage settlement in time.

Gene without knowing why he was happy

To make any financial arrangement.

[Orchestra music]

You know, I've been thinking...

You're getting to look more like your mother everyday.

Why aren't you dancing?

See, dad, do you remember tonight

Before we left to the Opera ball

We talked about Terry.

Yes. Of course I do.

You said if I loved him and wanted him to marry him that

You thought it was a swell idea and that you'd help

Financially, I mean.

Oh, yes. I know but I mean, I...

I'm afraid I won't be able to help much.

I'm in a rather tight spot myself just now.

You'll have to make up your mind whether you want him

Money or no money.

Well, that's just it. I... I don't know really.

When I dance with him, nothing else seems to matter, but...

Well, a girl can't be dancing all the time, can she?

No.

I don't think grandma'll have to worry about

Having an O'Neill in the family.

Hmm-mm.

[Mellow music]

He doesn't have a twin brother, has he?

Kay, some people have all the luck.

- Hello, Kay. - Congratulations, Kay.

[Indistinct chatter]

(Female #3) 'Mr. O'Neill is an archeologist.'

Aren't you Mr. O'Neill. Of course you are.

I met him at Kay's party.

- E-excuse me, I-I think I... - What...

Oh, quick. Get me away from here.

They're after me.

You know, I was just thinking I'm a great fool

To been travelling in big world world hunting for fossils.

There are more fine specimens in this opera house tonight

Than there are in all of Egypt.

- Oh! We must go dancing often. - Yes.

You might tackle a rumba while I'm gone.

- Gone? - Didn't I tell you?

I'm leaving for Connecticut tomorrow night.

- Be there for Christmas. - Connecticut?

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, yes, yes. I heard.

Your grandmothers house or somethin', isn't it?

Yes.

My engagement to Gene is being announced on Christmas Day.

[Chuckles]

I wish I were going to be there.

What?

To see your grandmothers face, when you don't.

But I am.

If you are joking, you're not being very funny.

I'm not joking.

I don't see what all the fuss is about.

You knew all along that Gene and I were engaged.

We've had a lot of fun together

But that's about all that amounted too.

- You know that I love you. - I asked you not to.

- But you told me you love me. - Oh, no. I didn't.

Oh, what do you want? An acquittal on a technicality.

Of course you love me. You gave me every indication.

Listen, this is a dance floor. Not Madison Square Garden.

I told you in that museum

Exactly the way matter stood between us.

The way they had to stand.

I wanted to quit, but you wouldn't let me.

See, what kick you've got.

You've done alright by yourself.

You've met the right people in the right places.

Your lapels are sensation.

Even your hips got honorable mention.

Well...

Haven't you have anything to say?

Uh... nothing you would understand.

Pardon me.

* Silent night *

* Holy night *

* All is calm *

* All is bright *

* Round yon virgin...*

Mrs. Gage says "You're late," sir.

Oh, yes. Well, the blizzard. We...

Wash out on the way. I had take a detour.

Mrs. Gage says, "So did everyone else," sir.

Mrs. Gage says, "That's no excuse at all," sir.

Oh, well, I'm sorry. I...

* Sleep in *

* Heavenly *

* Peace *

* Silent night *

* Holy night *

* All is calm *

* All is bright *

* Holy infant *

* So tender and mild *

* Sleep in *

* Heavenly *

* Peace *

* Sleep in *

* Heavenly *

* Peace **

[Indistinct chatter]

Very good, G.P., you're voice is getting lower.

- Yes! Well, I'm a year older. - Yeah.

[Laughing]

Ahem!

Mrs. Gage says, "You're all to go into dinner now."

Quietly!

'And the breakfast will be served'

'From 7:00 to 7:30 in the morning.'

Mrs. Gage says, "Goodnight to you all."

You go ahead, Gene, I don't want any dinner.

- Aren't you feeling well? - Not very.

I think you oughta eat something.

But I don't want anything.

Do you think, I mean, does she look alright to you?

I wouldn't worry.

There are symptoms to impending marriage

Just as there are to any other disease.

Oh, just nervous then. That's what you think?

That's all. By the way, G.P.

Your nerves must be pretty good these days.

Now, this marriage clears things up so beautifully.

Well, oh, yes. Sure. Fine.

Say, you go into dinner. I'll be in a minute.

Alright.

(Kay) 'Who is it?'

It's only me. Your old father.

'Oh, come in.'

- 'Hello.' - Hello.

'I noticed you didn't go into dinner'

And I thought perhaps you might not be feeling so good.

Me? I feels swell. Nothing ever happens to me.

[Chuckles] A little nervous about the engagement business tomorrow.

- Is that it? - I guess so.

You see, it's the first time I'm ever being engaged

Right out in public and everything.

Yeah, all in all though

You feel pretty happy about tomorrow, don't you?

- Certainly. - It's what you want, isn't it?

Of course it is.

[Chuckles]

You know, you asked me once how to tell whether you were in love

And I told you that "I broke out in a rash."

Your complexion looks okay to me.

Well, I don't think it works with me that way. It, uh...

I just kind of feeling numb all over.

[Laughing] I've heard of that too.

Tell me... how did you happen to give that Irishman the air?

What?

The Irishman, O'Tolle.

Oh, you mean Terence O'Neill.

[Chuckles] Yes.

Well, perhaps, he was just another Irishman.

After all I had my life, and he had his

And I just couldn't see any way of combining the two of them.

And I think too, he probably bored me a bit.

Well, I figured something like that.

[Sighs]

He's a nice kid, though.

But he hasn't got what Gene's got.

'Nothing like it.'

Not half?

'Less than that.'

[Chuckles] Sure.

Well, I guess, I'll be going down to dinner.

You're sure you're happy about the way things are now?

Of course I am.

[Chuckles]

Thenl guess everybody is happy.

I've got something to be

Specially happy about today, too.

Have you really? What?

I just managed to clear up a terrific debt

That I had this afternoon.

'I was $400,000 in a hole'

'And I didn't know where it was coming from.'

This afternoon, I cleared it up just like that.

- Well, goodnight, kid. - Wait a minute.

Let me get this straight.

You've got rid of a $400,000 debt.

[Chuckles] Got rid of it for good.

The only $400,000 debt you had.

Say... how many debts like that do you think a man can have?

Oh, darling.

[Laughing]

Oh, well. What brought this on?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

But isn't it wonderful not to have a care in the world.

[Chuckles] Isn't it?

Oh!

[Dialing phone]

Operator, I want to speak to New York City

Mr. Terence O'Neill, at Atwater 90186.

Yes, I'll wait.

[Telephone ringing]

Merry Christmas.

[Ringing continues]

Hello.

Yes, this is Terry. Who's calling?

This is Kay.

I-I just called...

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you.

Terry, can you forgive me for the other night.

- You want to be forgiven? - Oh, so much.

I forgive you.

Can you forget it?

- No. - But I didn't mean it.

Well, that makes everything just fine, doesn't it?

[Sighs] Well, I-I did mean it

But there is nothing else I could do.

I can't explain over the telephone

But... please try to forget what I did and what I said.

I love you, Terry, and I'll always love you.

- Please, believe me. - Kay, where are you?

Never mind where I am. You stay where you are

I'll be in tomorrow. Please, don't run away.

- 'Can you make it tonight?' - No, I can't make it tonight.

Goodbye, darling. I love you.

'Kay...

Kay. Hello, hello. Hello, Kay. Kay?

[Bell ringing]

[Knock on door]

- Is this the Gage home? - Yes.

- I told you this was it. - Well, it had to be.

We tried every other house in Connecticut.

I'm gonna punch that Grove right in that nose

When I get back to New York. Some directions he gave us.

But are you sure you have the right house?

Nobody, but the family...

That's what we've come after.

Not the whole family, but one of 'em.

My name is Terence O'Neill. This is Miss Collins.

Hmm, I'd like to be left alone with a hot water bottle

For about three weeks.

- I'm Brumbaugh. - Oh, a phony name I've ever...

I come here for Miss Kay Bentley. Is she up?

Miss Bentley is not up. Mrs. Gage said...

Well, we'll wait until she gets up.

- But Mrs. Gage... - I didn't come here after her.

I came here after Miss Bentley.

Won't you sit down?

What are you doing answering doors?

Remember, Brumbaugh, I'm the butler here.

Well, here is your chance to buttle.

There are two strange people in the living room.

Impossible. I swept out only half an hour ago.

Well, they swept in about two minutes ago.

They've come for Miss Kay.

Mrs. Gage says you're to throw them out.

Didn't you tell them that Mrs. Gage

Receives no one, but the family on Christmas Day?

I tried my best.

Well, don't they know who Mrs. Gage is?

Well, it's conceivable that somewhere in this world

There are people who know who she is and don't care.

[Scoffs] We shall say about that.

Mm.

- Who are you? - My name is Gallup, sir.

People have the funniest names

In Connecticut.

I've come for Miss Kay Bentley.

Miss Bentley is not at home, sir.

Oh, then I'll wait until she is.

Mrs. Gage doesn't receive guests on Christmas Day, sir.

Mrs. Gage does not receive guests on Christmas Day, sir.

My name is O'Neill. I've come for Miss Kay Bentley.

I've already met one woman with a funny name

Who tried to put me out.

Now I meet you, and you've got a funny name

And you try to put me out.

I will not be put out of here

Until I go out with Miss Kay Bentley.

We'll see, sir.

Oh, it's the noisiest living room

'I ever tried to sleep in.'

[Kids panting]

Oh!

Uh, here. "You will leave this house immediately!"

Those are Mrs. Gage's instructions.

Oh, we're very glad to leave with Kay.

Terry, what you doing here?

- Who's this, O'Malley? - It's Mr. Bentley.

- Hi, you, G.P. - Oh, it's you.

Kay had phoned me last night. That's why I'm here.

- Where is she? - That's impossible.

Oh, no, it isn't. I'll get her for you.

G.P., are you loosing your mind?

Yes, well I might as well loose that too.

It never did me any good.

[Chuckles]

Mrs. Gage says, she wishes to see you

Immediately in her room, sir.

Oh, me? Eh!

Well, what does she wanna see me for?

She didn't say, sir.

She merely said, you were to come right up.

Oh, dear.

Mrs. Gage said "Immediately," sir.

Oh, she said I...

Oh, you're-you're not thinking

Of going into my mother-in-law with me, are you?

I didn't come here after her. Tell me where Kay is?

Her room is just...

Oh, dear, can't think of a thing. Well, it's down...

Her room is over on the... I don't know.

(Mrs. Gage) 'Gregoricus. Where is that idiot?'

There she is. Coming, mother.

Alright, you better stay. I'll...

[Chuckles] Well...

Good morning, mother.

Who are those lunatics that won't leave my house?

Friends of yours?

Oh, no. I never saw them before in my life.

Ever since I can remember, Gregoricus.

You've been a worst liar I ever knew.

- Oh, I... - Of course you know them.

Don't you think I know what's been going downstairs?

Who are they?

Well, they're friends of Kay.

Oh, speak up. I can't hear you.

I'm not gonna eat you. Who are they?

I said they're... "Friends of Kay's."

Ah! And you call yourself a man.

- You buck-passer, you. - Oh!

Heaven help you all if I die.

- Which isn't likely. - No...

Eighty three descendants, and all of them women

Except, some wear pants. Am I right?

Well... Yes, mother...

[Imitating Mr. Bentley] Yes, mother. Yes, Mrs. Gage.

- Brumbaugh? Where is Brumbaugh? - 'Yes, Mrs. Gage?'

Oh, why aren't you over here when I want you?

Get Kay.

- Bring her here at once. - Yes, Mrs. Gage.

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Gage. Yes, mother."

[Woman screaming]

- 'Don't you dare come in here.' - I beg your pardon.

Who is that man?

Which is Miss Bentley's room?

- 'Who's there?' - It's I, Miss Kay.

It's Terence O'Neill.

- Terry! - Oh!

Darling. Oh.

Oh, darling, you shouldn't have come here.

Why? Aren't you glad to see me?

Yes, of course I am, but I was coming into you.

- Oh, I couldn't wait. - But Connecticut...

I'd have come to Zanzibar.

My grandmother, Terry, uh, she has very funny ideas.

Yes, well, we haven't time to listen to it now.

You've been rescued from the dragon

And we are on our way back to our castle in Spain...

- Terry, my dress. - 'Miss, Kay?'

Mrs. Gage would like to see you right away.

There. You see.

No, I don't see. You were going away anyway, weren't you?

Oh, but that was different. She knows you're here now.

And If I run away with you, she'll never forgive me.

- Ah, can we depend on that! - 'She said right away, Kay.'

- Oh, Terry, we need her. - For what?

To frighten our children.

Well, I suppose father could help us some...

Oh! Are we going through that all over again?

Oh, Kay, Kay darling. Now, Listen.

Once and for all. Do you love me?

Will you please listen to me? We want to be happy, don't we?

- Do you love me? - Of course I do.

Very well, then we'll be happy.

But if she likes you and gives us the marriage settlement

We can be even happier.

No, we won't. I don't wanna be paid for marrying you.

Terry, it's customary.

She was going to make Gene vice president

Of Bentley and Gage and, well, now, I thought maybe...

She won't make me vice president. I assure you.

If you think I'm gonna be a vice president

And live like that bunch downstairs, you're wrong.

I wouldn't kowtow to that old witch

For one bent penny!

No... you go and tell her that Miss Kay is too busy.

- Oh, no... - Too busy!

But Miss Kay said...

Miss Kay said, she was too busy.

- But-but... - 'Terry, listen...

[Door closes]

(Mrs. Gage) 'Well, where is she?'

- Well... - Oh, no wells about it.

Now, she is either here or for some reason why she isn't.

Speak up, woman. Where is she?

She-she just won't come.

Won't come?

Why not?

Well... there's a man in her room. A strange man.

He said to tell you she was busy.

Ah! Busy, aye?

He said it, Mrs. Gage. I didn't.

Busy!

- Well, I said... - Sit down! Hand me that robe.

Busy, aye? Busy.

- Yes, but, listen, mother... - Shut up!

- Oh... well. Alright. - 'I suppose your grandmother...

- Yes, but, mother, I wish... - Will you shut up?

(Kay) 'No, it's nothing to do with it.'

(Terence) 'Your grandmother has something to do with everything.'

'She's the most meddlesome bigoted old tyrant'

'That ever forgot to mind her own business.'

(Kay) 'Why, Terry. After all she-she is my grandmother.'

(Terence) 'Now, let's get this one thing straight'

'About that old battle-axe.'

'As far as her money and her orders are concerned'

I don't want any part of either...

Ooh!

I want that man out of here.

I want him out of here in exactly two minutes

Or I'll call the police.

And if the police can't do it, I'll do it myself. That's all.

That's not all.

I'll be very happy to leave this house in less than two minutes

But Kay goes with me.

- What's his name? - My name is...

Shut up!

- What's his name? - Terence O'Neill.

- Where is he from? - I'm from...

Shut up!

- Where's he from? - Belfast. Ireland

Oh, far enough.

Whose his parents?

I imagine they were Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill.

Oh, I don't mean that. What do they do?

- I'll tell you what they do? - I don't wanna know.

How do you know they're not lunatics?

What do your parents do?

My father was a swindler.

My grandfather was a horse thief

And my great grandfather was hunt for piracy.

Mmm. Good stock.

(Female #4) 'I beg you pardon, Mr. O'Neill.'

Huh? What do you want?

Will you sign this requisition, Mr. O'Neill?

Why?

Every vice president signs them.

But I-I don't know what they're about.

It's not necessary. They've been okayed by Mr. Siegalbauer.

Oh, Mr. Siegalbauer, yes.

Do you want anything else, Mr. O'Neill.

I'm the eleventh button here.

I beg your pardon. The twelfth button, Miss Bogden.

Eleventh, I'm sure. The twelfth locks all the doors.

(Male #5) 'No, Miss Bogden.'

'The eleventh from the bottom. But the twelfth from the top.'

(Bogden) 'Then I have to check it with the installation department.'

- Good morning. - Good morning

I offer you my congratulations

Upon acquiring this important position

And the vast amount of money that goes with it.

- What's that? - Here. Sign this please.

But I-I-I've already signed it.

You signed the one for Southern Indiana

These are the papers for Northern Indiana.

Oh, I see it.

You must've had a great deal of experience at this type of work

To have gotten the vice presidency.

Oh, no, no. Just a trip to Connecticut.

A trip? Thank you.

Uh, you have to sign these, Mr. O'Neill.

Oh, don't you wanna know what they are?

I do know.

They're either for the southern part of North Dakota

Or for the northern part of South Dakota.

Oh, no, not really...

Well! Good morning, good morning.

Oh, I see. You've got one of those too.

- Huh. - But you're better...

I have to keep looking at mine.

Well, is everything in shipshape?

Oh, everything's wonderful.

[Chuckles] Oh, that's fine.

And I've got a little office warming present for you.

* As auld acquaintance be forgot **

There's your Gelatina.

And don't think that it's just a gadget.

No, it's a-it's a non-tippable practical... ashtray.

[Chuckles]

A practical non-tippable ashtray.

- Yes. - And how can I ever thank you?

Oh, don't mention it. And don't work too hard.

Remember you've got to save your strength

To get married tomorrow.

[Chuckles] Well, I'll see you in church.

[Engine revving]

[Intercom buzzing]

Oh, what do you want?

- May I come in? - Kay, Kay, darling.

I had to come, darling. I had to take one last look at you.

I understand that men age as much as 20 years

The night before they're married.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I've got to fix it so that we're locked in.

Oh!

How did you get in here?

(Female #5) 'You rang for us, Mr. O'Neill.'

Well, I-I made a mistake.

My nerves are going, I never know what I'm going to get

When I press one of these buttons.

[Laughs] It's rather fun.

It's like necking in Grand Central Station.

Ah, very fancy, Mr. O'Neill.

Yes, it couldn't be fancier.

- But, darling, it's no use. - Oh, now, Terry...

Oh, I know, I know I promised I'd give it a fair try

And I have, Kay, believe me, I have.

I wanted to run out of here a dozen times.

I got here at 8:30 this morning.

And at 8:35, I was out walking around the block

Trying to talk myself into coming back.

Darling, in time, you'll get so that you can wait

Until 9 o'clock before you walk round the block.

Then ten, then 11.

And who knows in five or six years

You may be able to come here every morning

And spend the entire day without once walking around the block.

It's not a thing to treat lightly, I'm serious.

[Laughs] Of course, you are, darling.

And I'm not treating it lightly.

Oh, dear, 11:05, I must run.

- Where are you going? - Shopping.

Buying a trousseau is the nearest thing

To perpetual motion yet discovered.

Oh, take me with you.

To buy my trousseau? Why, Mr. O'Neill?

Just for a little while.

I think maybe if I could get away from here

For just a little while...

Ah, now, darling, you promised to stick it out.

Please try just a little longer.

Please.

You didn't like spinach the first time you ate it, did you?

But I still don't like spinach.

Oh, but it's so good for you.

[Intercom buzzing]

[Buzzing continues]

I'm sorry I buzzed.

Terry!

Terry, my boy!

My boat docked this morning.

Betty told me where I could find you.

I...I've come to offer my congratulations.

Thanks.

My future father-in-law gave me that.

It's a practical non-tippable ashtray.

Very utilitarian.

All of these buttons are for something different.

Some of them open doors and some close doors.

Some of them call men secretaries

And some women secretaries.

And this is a dictograph.

'By flipping these levers, I can talk'

To practically anybody I want to talk to.

I couldn't think of that many that I'd want to talk about.

But it's wonderful.

Ooh, wonderful isn't the word.

You've certainly come a long way

From being a archaeologist, Terry.

I certainly have.

You see that room?

That's my private bathroom.

If I want to take a bath at any time of the day

All I have to do is just go in there and take it.

In Naxos, you stood under a tub with holes in it

While Max poured water.

That was good enough for me in Greece.

I was only a scientist then.

But now I'm a vice president.

A vice president of Bentley and Gage Incorporated.

Digging up lost civilizations is not important.

The important thing to do is to incorporate Southern Indiana.

It's no fun to stand on a hilltop at night

And look at the moon, and count the stars.

You don't know what fun is until you've sat behind a desk.

With a stiff collar on and felt the walls closing in on you.

And what right have you to come here?

We have nothing in common.

I am not an archaeologist anymore.

I'm a business man, I'm a magnate, I'm a tycoon.

I don't know anything about archaeology.

But I'll have my secretary write you a check for a $100,000.

All I have to do is to press a button.

And very soon I'll get so that I press a button for my food.

And one for my drink, and one for my wife

And one for my children. Look how easy it is.

Name it, professor, name anything you want.

And I'll get it for you by simply pressing a button.

Button, button, has anybody got Bentley and Gage?

Has anybody got a match?

You see, professor, see what you can get by pushing a button!

Bentley and Gage forever!

I've got a hunch Terry doesn't like working in the office.

Oh, but, darling, I know he doesn't.

But he'll get used to it in time.

Well, I don't know.

Maybe we've been a bit too sudden.

Don't you think we ought to taper him off?

[Laughs] You mean make him discover smaller statues all the time

Till-till finally he discovers none.

No, it's not that but I-I have an idea

He hasn't got a flair for business.

He likes archaeology too much.

Now, listen, he didn't want to be a vice president either.

- Did he? - No.

Didn't I make him see the light?

- Yes. - I can keep him that way.

[Laughs]

[Knocking on door]

(Kay) 'Come in.'

Mr. O'Neill is downstairs, Miss Kay.

And he wishes to speak to you.

Oh, Terry! Bring him right up.

Oh, dear, no. No, no, no.

He can't see me in my wedding dress.

Uh... tell him I've gone to bed.

I did tell him that, Miss Kay

And he called me, ahem, well, he seemed to doubt my word

And he insisted upon seeing you.

Yes, well, maybe something's happened.

- This maybe be important. - Oh, nonsense, darling.

- You better tell him... - Nothing's happened.

Sooner or later, Mr. O'Neill has got to be realize

There are such things as conventions.

They may not make sense all the time.

That's probably why people have them.

We might just as well start housebreaking him right now.

Grove, please tell him I'm asleep.

Yes, Miss Kay.

Yes, well, look, uh

The rules don't say anything about

The bride's father not being able to see the bridegroom

On the night before the wedding, do they?

[Chuckles] No, darling, you go on down and give that big shamrock

My love, and tell him that from tomorrow on

There'll be no problem in seeing me.

The problem, if any, will be getting rid of me.

[Indistinct chattering]

- Oh... - Oh, boy.

(Terry) 'Read up about the Ubangi savages.'

The groom meets the bride for the wedding breakfast.

Hey, where's Kay? I want to speak to Kay.

'Now, Terry, you know you're not supposed'

'To see me in my wedding dress.'

Oh, I didn't come to see you in your wedding dress.

But I've got to talk to you.

Yes, well, perhaps, I better go down

And cut a couple of books in the library.

No, you stay here, Mr. Bentley.

What I have to say will interest you too.

Oh, that's delightful.

Uh, Grove, uh, just go down and get me a whiskey and then...

Just the whiskey.

Well, in the first place, I resign

As vice president of Bentley and Gage.

You can give the job to Gene Piper. He wants it.

Oh, no, no, nonsense. Terry, my boy, don't be hasty.

After all, Rome wasn't burnt in a day.

(Kay) We're not burning Rome, dad.

'What exactly brings this on, Terry?'

Nothing brings it on. I'm not a vice president that's all.

I'm an archaeologist.

(Kay) 'Oh, if so, then what?'

Well, after we're married, we're going back to Naxos.

Well, oh...

Well, if it's digging you want

Who knows we maybe able to fix it

So you can dig in Central Park.

I don't want to dig in Central Park.

I want to go back to Greece.

Alright, darling, anything you say.

But let's discuss it after the honeymoon.

Uh, so I'm sorry that won't work anymore.

Oh, you handled me beautifully in Connecticut

But not this time.

- We're going back to Naxos. - Well, Terry, of course.

I mean, it's in the itinerary.

Two whole days in Naxos.

But I don't want two whole days in Naxos.

I want to finish my work there.

It may take a month, it may take a year

And it may take five years.

- And I want to finish it. - And then?

Well, maybe we'll go to Mexico

And do so some Aztec work.

The point is are you coming with me?

That's quite a point.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong

But I think it's about as selfish a point as

I've ever come across.

You're saying to me, in effect

Give up everything you've ever had.

Everything you're used to.

All your friends.

Everything you'll ever want and come with me

To a squalid, fly infested village

And watch me dig up statues.

But sitting behind a desk

And staring at walls stifles me.

It gives me claustrophobia.

Will you please let me finish?

Simply because I have the terrific gall to force

You into a three million dollar settlement

And a vice presidency of Bentley and Gage.

Simply because I put you into a position where you could sit

At a desk and play archaeologist with more money

Than you've ever dreamed of, you're being stifled.

Then you put on an act about people living your life for you.

Maybe that's what should have happened to you a long time ago.

Then maybe you'd be a little more normal.

You haven't got claustrophobia, Terry. You're just plain nuts.

- Alright, I'm nuts. - Somebody's at the door.

Crazy, wacky, loony, whatever you like.

(Terry) 'I tried to tell myself what I could do'

'With three million dollars, but it won't work.'

I can't do a thing with all that money.

I-I can have things done for me, but that's not what I want.

I want to do things myself.

I don't care whether I have $3 or three million.

I cannot sit behind a desk and worry about Southern Indiana

When I just want to be in Naxos just plain digging.

But I don't want to be in Naxos just plain digging.

What am I supposed to do?

Scrape your shovels for you?

Or make necklaces out of rocks

So you can sell them to the tourists?

- Now, you're just being unfair. - Why?

Because I ask you to compromise to the extent

Of wearing clean shirts and walking on pavements?

Oh, walking on pavements?

So that's your idea of progress, is it?

Breaking your arches on cement

And breathing gasoline instead of air.

Is it?

Oh, stop rubbing poisonous polish

Into your nails and answer me, is it?

I happen to like my nails like that.

Long and clean and polished, any objections?

No! None whatever.

The care and feeding of the fingernails

Is a highly cultural pursuit.

How much more important than finding out

Who we are and where we come from?

Do you realize what could be done with all

The money that you waste on manicures?

Hundreds of dollars a year.

What you mean hundreds?

Thousands!

Eighty three thousand dollars a nail.

And my eyebrows, aah!

That runs into real money.

Hand plucked every Thursday and what of it?

It's my money and I can spend it on shoe buckles

Peanuts or baseball bats if I like.

And it's my life.

And I'll live it the way I want.

Upside down, catty-corner or slidin' down a pole.

Ha ha, you wouldn't slide down a pole.

Think of what your friends will say?

Oh, wouldn't I? You just try me.

Well, isn't it pretty late to go looking for a pole tonight?

And those friends, drunks, polo players

Piano players and archers.

How do you talk to them? What do you talk to them about?

Liquor, polo, piano playing and archery.

- Any other questions? - No!

You're asking me as your husband

To give up every interest I have in the world

And to lead a life that's stupid

Dull and loathsome to me.

Well, I can't do it.

- I won't do it. - Alright!

If everything I stand for is stupid and dull

And loathsome to you

For Pete's sake, don't marry me.

Alright. I won't.

Oh, yes, you will.

You're not going to jilt me and make me

The laughing stock of the world.

There'll be no jilting about it.

We just won't show up at the church.

But everything's been arranged.

It's too late to keep the people from coming.

- The church will be full. - But he wants them to come.

He won't be here but I will.

I'll have to answer questions and face people

And deny that Mr. O'Neill changed his mind.

And who'll believe me?

The laughter was heard around the world, that's what he wants.

- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.

Don't you tell me what I want.

I'll tell you what you're gonna get.

You're not going to jilt me, make me the laughing stock

Of all times just because you want to go

Dig ditches in Greece.

Archaeology is not digging ditches.

- And anyway who's asking? - You are. But I'm not going to.

If both of us don't show up at the church, I'll still have

To explain because you won't be here.

And if there's any jilting to be done

I'm the one that's going to do it.

- Well? - Well?

You show up at the church and I won't.

That way I can just say I didn't want to marry you.

Oh, I see and then I can be the laughing stock.

Oh, you won't mind that much in Naxos.

I wouldn't mind it much on

The corner of Fifth Avenue on 42nd Street.

The opinion of what you call the world

Doesn't mean a thing to me.

- No matter where I am. - So it seems.

- Well, you've got a bargain. - Alright!

Alright!

- Alright! - Alright.

[Crying]

Darlin', what are you doing?

This is for Galatea.

- Oh! - And for Pygmalion.

- Oh, but can you... - And for nuts.

Oh, darling!

And we must have one for Greece.

- Ah, yes! Greece! - Oh, no, you...

That'll do for Greece.

- There! - Oh!

- Greece! - 'Huh.'

And archaeology!

- Year old archae. - Oh!

Uh, darling, what're you doing?

You had, uh...

Well, look what we have here.

Aren't you the beautiful thing?

All full of sweetness and life, aren't you?

Just a big brave symbol.

Two hearts that beat as one.

Two souls that have called to each other

Out of the darkness that is life.

Well, do you know what I think you are?

I think you're just about 20 yards of satin with a lot

Of lacey doohickey spread all over.

You're like a coating on a pill.

And you can take yourself and fly yourself a kite.

Oh!

Go stick it under your pillow and dream on it

Wish on it, cry on it, jump up and down on it.

[Instrumental music]

Not too far down. I don't want to miss anything.

Here. Okay, this will do.

- But we have a place... - I know, young man, I know.

Go and tell that organist to play old "Promise Me" again.

Well, he's just finished playing...

I know he has but I want to hear it again.

Don't debate with me. Go do as I tell you.

[Instrumental music]

[Sighs]

Isn't this a wonderful occasion, Brumbaugh?

Wonderful.

Ah, tears of joy.

To think my Ms. Kay's is being married today.

Sentimental twaddle.

Gallup, it'll give me the greatest possible pleasure

To smack your kisser.

[Instrumental music]

[Indistinct chatter]

There appears to be a slight delay.

- Yes, slight. - How long go you wait?

I mean, uh, how long does this usually take?

[Chuckles] I understand exactly how you feel, young man.

Oh, he didn't understand.

I'm within about 20 minutes of being a free man.

[Instrumental "Here Comes The Bride"]

[No audio]

[Music continues]

[Instrumental "Here Comes The Bride"]

You sure she's not going to show up?

You don't seem to believe me.

Oh, well, I do believe you but...

- You just wait. - But I just, uh.

You-you-you just turn around.

Hmm?

[Music continues]

"Dearly beloved

"We are gathered together here in the sight of God

'"and in the face of his company'

'"to join together this man'

'"and this woman in holy matrimony.'

'"Which is a honorable estate'

'"instituted of God'

'"signifying onto us the mystical union'

'"that is betwixt Christ and his church.'

'"Into this holy estate these two persons'

"Present come now to be joined.

"If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully

"Be joined together, let him now speak

Or else hereafter forever hold his peace."

- I can show just cause. - What?

(Terry) 'I said I can show just cause for not marrying her.'

Terry, listen, he doesn't know he's talking about.

- No, you made a bargain. - Terry. Won't you please...

Now you're trying to double cross me. I can do that too.

But I want to tell you something.

I don't want to hear it.

Terry, my boy. Listen to her. What are you going to do?

I'm going to show just cause why I shouldn't marry her.

Listen, Terry, I'm going to tell you that I know

What it feels like now to want to go all the way

To Greece after somebody.

What new trick is this?

Our tickets to Naxos are in this, you idiot.

- Naxos? - Yes.

What's going on here? What is all this?

Oh, shut up!

[No audio]

[Instrumental music]