Original subtitles

(crow cawing)

Xandra: Welcome, Caballeros...

to Mount Rushmore! (echoes)

This is not what I imagined.

Maybe it looks better from the outside.

-George: Hello. -(all gasp)

Donald: George Washington?

Yes. But please, call me GGW.

General George Washington?

Ghost George Washington.

Woo!

Ooh, upgrade.

Mr. President, we've tracked an evil warlock here.

Have you seen him?

I cannot tell a lie.

No.

But I think I know what he might be after.

Follow me through my sinus passage.

Woo.

What is this place? A museum?

Oh, you've noticed.

Well, with an eternity on my hands,

I've begun carving the history of the United States

in my nasal vestibules.

That's me as a boy, chopping down a cherry tree.

And I call this one "Me Crossing the Delaware."

And here's me signing a presidential decree.

I'm noticing a theme here.

And here's dear Martha, a tribute to my wife.

It's not quite right though.

The nose is all wrong.

Mr. President, what is Felldrake after?

He can only be after one thing, the Spark of Life.

The Spark of what?

The Spark of Life has the power to animate any object that possesses it.

Xandra: In ancient China, Emperor Qin Shi Huang used it

to raise his terracotta army.

After defeating the army,

the original Three Caballeros created the secret Society of the Spark.

José: What do you know?

It was so secret, we did not even know.

I've always secretly wanted to be in a secret society secretly.

Unfortunately, the Caballeros embarked on other adventures

and never returned.

George: Without leadership, and too many delinquent membership dues,

the society disbanded.

And they buried the Spark in a mountain that would eventually become my head.

And here it's remained safely locked away

in my presidential office.

(gasping)

Felldrake: Greetings, fools.

You're too late.

I already have the Spark of Life.

And now, we will use it to destroy you.

-(thud) -Ooh.

And by "we," I mean me.

Because clearly there's only one of us.

Felldrake: Awake, Washingtonian memories.

(statues growling)

Oh dear, we are in un-president-ed danger.

I've waited 200 years to say that.

(statues growling)

♪ We're Three Caballeros Three brave caballeros ♪

♪ They say we are birds of a feather ♪

♪ We're happy amigos No matter where he goes ♪

♪ The one, two, and three goes We're always together ♪

♪ Aye! ♪

♪ The Three Caballeros! ♪

(statues growling)

(gasp)

Attack!

-(grunts) -(gasps)

(muttering)

(laughing)

En garde! (grunts)

-(Donald shouting) -(statue growling)

Hey, no!

No!

(vocalizing)

-Hi-yah! -(gasps)

Mr. President, permission to fight the First Lady.

Granted.

-(grunting) -(groans)

Ooh.

That's the right nose. Thank you.

(Felldrake chuckles)

With the Spark of Life no one can stop us now.

Oh, yeah?

(whimpering)

You can't withdraw from this union.

There are three other heads on Rushmore after all.

I vote we throw this rapscallion out of office.

Can I demand a recount?

(yelling)

(both screaming)

Felldrake: You ruined me!

Here you go, grandpa.

Thanks, G-A-L. Hmm.

(statues groaning)

We did it!

Now that the warlock knows where the Spark of Life is hidden,

my head is no longer safe.

Well, why can't these boys protect the Spark?

Yes, indeed.

Four score.

Caballeros: Really?

Really.

(chanting)

George: By the power vested in the presidential ghosts,

the eternal guardians of the Spark of Life are now the Three Caballeros.

-Again! -Hmm. Aah.

all: Thanks, ghost presidents!

I voted for all of you.

You know, for a Spark of Life, this is pretty unimpressive.

I have an app that puts out more light than this.

Despite how it looks, the Spark of Life is incredibly powerful.

Guarding it is a serious responsibility.

Do not fear.

The cabana is practically an impenetrable fortress.

(doorbell ringing)

(crashes)

Except for the front door.

I am Eugenia Ferdinand-Ferdinand,

Vice President of the New Quackmore Institute.

What do you want?

To be president of the New Quackmore Institute

but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Do all seven of you live here together?

Do not be silly.

Yoo-hoo.

There are eight of us.

How Bohemian.

I'm here, because tonight is the annual soiree.

As residents, you are all required to attend.

However, as this is an evening of elegance and sophistication...

some of you should sit this one out.

And fix this door!

-Elegance? -And sophistication?

We are so going!

And so are you.

You know, it has been centuries since I've been to a party.

Do I look okay to go out?

You look, uh...

Like an ancient goddess.

Ancient?

Well, that's not good.

No problem.

We just need to bring you up to date a little.

(lively music)

(French accent) Let them eat cake.

girls: Nah.

Want to go to a party?

girls: Nah.

(Valley girl accent) Gag me with a spoon.

girls: Nah.

(jabbering) Gaga.

all: Yikes.

(farts, giggles)

-Xandra: How about this? -Wow.

-You look great! -This is it.

-(chattering) -(air horn blares)

I got onesies.

I have twosies.

And I got three--

Caballeros: Huh?

(grandiose music)

Donald and Panchito: Wow.

Magnifico.

Okay, boys.

Remember. You're on duty tonight.

Whatever you do, don't let the Spark of Life out of your sight.

Who was that?

Panchito and José: Mm-mm.

Okay, girls.

Let's party!

Yeah!

-Xandra: Whoo! -She's just excited.

All right, my friends,

we must take every precaution to guard the Spark of Life.

We will do so in shifts, beginning with Donald,

then Panchito, then Donald, then Panchito.

And what about you?

Someone must keep the semblance of a normal life going.

Oh. Let me hide it.

There. Done and done.

That works for me.

Ari, popcorn us.

Uh-huh.

(explodes)

(humming)

Whoop.

Uh...oh.

(chattering)

(blabbering)

(door slam)

(scream)

Felldrake: You had the Spark in your fat, idiot fingers,

and you let it slip right through.

Sheldgoose: I'd like to see you stand up to Abraham Lincoln.

Felldrake: More like Abraham Stinkin'.

If I could be half the president, he--- (stammers)

-(doorbell rings) -Who could that be?

Hello, Mr. President.

What do you want, Eug-- Oh.

What do you want... (stutters)

What do you want, Eugenia?

The New Quackmore Institute soiree is tonight,

and the board is looking forward to your full report, Sheldboob.

(Felldrake laughs) Good one.

-Oh, no. -Oh, yes.

You will finally have to explain your strange absences.

You don't explain yourself, the board ejects you,

and I become president of the New Quackmore Institute.

See you at the soiree.

Of all the prespo--

Shut up! Who cares?

There are urgent matters at hand.

You're right. I have a speech to prepare.

Felldrake: That's not what I meant, Sheldboob.

(chuckle) Good one, me.

Xandra: Wow. Elephants made of bushes. Ha!

What will they think of next?

You need to get out more often.

(sighs) This soiree is so sophisticated.

(gasp) Food!

Mmm. Delicious.

Ooh, that's pretty good.

(gasps) Mmm.

(mouth full) This is really good.

You guys got to try this.

Oh, my.

Oh, dear.

That's tacky.

(June sighs) This is may have been a mistake.

(Ari screaming)

(jabbering)

What's the matter with you?

I believe Ari is trying to tell us something.

(growls, chatter)

Little Timmy's stuck in the well.

José: Eh, something about the rug.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Huh?

The Spark of Life!

(blabbers) Daisy!

What are you doing here?

Well, I was in the neighborhood for the gala,

and I thought I'd stop by and introduce you

-to my date, Dapper Duck. -What?

Hello, old sport.

You must be the ex-boyfriend.

Put 'er there.

We met right after you abandoned me at Chez Quackmore.

What?

Huh?

(chuckling)

Duh.

What?

Hey, you. Get out of there.

(chomping, laughs)

A bear? (screams)

Don't leave me hanging, as they say, sport.

What?

(tires squealing)

My truck!

Uh, have a good time.

(yelling)

He does not like you.

He does not like you either.

But I'm on the fence.

(chuckles)

(tires screeching)

Caballeros: Stop that bear!

(laughing)

(groans)

Watch out!

-Whoa. -Careful, buddy.

Caballeros: Whoa!

(groans)

(bear giggling)

(whale singing)

(bear groaning)

Donald: Now, we got ya!

(groans)

(high-pitched scream)

Oh. (blabbering)

(nervous laugh)

(whimpering)

(panting)

(sniffing)

(moans, laughing)

(exclaiming)

(bees buzzing)

Stop right there, bear!

We have chased you all over the square.

♪ In goblin jail ♪

What? I thought we were singing.

-(bee buzzing) -(grunting)

(chuckling)

(bees buzz)

-(rumbling) -(bear gasps)

-(screaming) -(buzzing)

(all yelling)

And there I was with the sultan himself.

So I said it's your island, you can wear whatever you want.

(all laughing)

-That's a good one. -Oh, Commodore Windbag.

Oh. I get it.

Because he's naked! (laughs)

(cackling)

We will not be invited back.

(whimpering)

(playful music)

Huh?

(panting)

What was that?

-(buzzing) -(all gasp)

(Donald Duck yelling)

(blabbers)

I'm okay.

Hey, ugly neighbor guy.

Oh, what now?

Panchito: You've got a bear in your house!

Well, I can't bear your house either!

(blows raspberry)

No more distractions.

The only way Eugenia Ferdinand-Ferdinand

is going to become president of the New Quackmore Institute

is over my blasted, bloated, unconscious body.

(gasps) No. I can't say that.

Felldrake: Who cares about being president of the New Quackmore Institute?

What is that compared to world domination?

A Sheldgoose has been president of the New Quackmore Institute

since its inception.

And no board of short-sighted, blood-sucking bottom feeders

is going to take that away.

No. I can't say that either.

Felldrake: We're wasting our time.

We need to go out there and get the Spark of Life.

Not now. I have important presidential things to do.

What could possibly be more important than the Spark of Life?

Black tie?

Or blacker tie?

You are the least important president of anything ever.

Never mind all that.

Eugenia will be here any minute.

Come on, guys.

We need an idea.

There must be some way to get through this invisible wall.

(clears throat)

Caballeros: Huh?

Excuse me.

Certainly, but you will not be able to get past the invisible barrier.

Don't talk to me.

-(door slams) -Caballeros: Huh?

Maybe you just have to be rich.

It does not seem to have a top.

If we can't go over it,

let's go under it.

Are you having the most agreeable time, my sweet darling Daisy?

Yeah. Sure.

But I can't stop thinking about how Donald was acting.

He's not usually that strange.

Donald: Must dig better.

Got to break the mystic barrier.

Oh, look.

-A distraction. -Oh.

And so, esteemed board members,

that is why I should continue to be president

of the New Quackmore Institute indefinitely,

forever indubitably, and so on, and so forth, to so on...

-and so forth. -(microphone feedback)

(slow clap)

Oh, hogwash.

You spend all your time away from the Institute,

going who knows where, doing who knows what.

I'll tell you what.

woman: Doing anything except your presidential duties.

Yes. Explain that, Sheldgoose.

Well, I had to go away for a month to the moon.

There were robots.

-Balderdash. -Poppycock.

There's no such thing as the moon!

Let me assure you,

the situation at the New Quackmore Institute

has never been more under control.

(in French accent) Everything is out of control.

There's a bear in the house!

(whimpering) Ahh!

(panting)

Ooh.

-(bear laughing) -(all gasp)

Oh, oh. Oh, dear.

(all screaming)

My presidency!

Felldrake: Wait.

(groans) The Spark!

(gasping)

-(zapping) -(grunting)

Chase after him!

-(thud) -Right.

-After the bear! -Okay!

Get that bear!

-(yelling) -(crash)

guests: Away from the bear!

(all screaming)

Ugh.

Felldrake: Make way, morons!

Caballeros: What?

(playful music)

-(bear grows) -Hey, you!

(whimpering)

(slurping)

(spitting)

(all gasp)

Huh?

Ooh.

Is that our rug?

-Where? -Out of my way, jerks.

Felldrake?

-Where is it? -(Donald blabbering)

-Get him! -Come back here!

-Sheldgoose: Which way did he go? -José: Excuse me.

-Sheldgoose: Over here. -Xandra: There he is.

Felldrake: Go back the other way, you moron!

Dapper: Oh, Daisy. Tonight has been so magical.

Oh, Dapper.

I could see myself standing by your side forever.

(grunting)

Felldrake: Now, I've got you, bear!

(crumbling)

(gasping) Whoa. Whoa!

Huh? Daisy!

Nothing can take me away from you, Daisy my love.

Mmm.

(nervous chuckle) Gotta go!

Mwah. Bye!

Oh! (groaning)

Xandra: I got ya.

(snarling)

We are here!

(bear groaning)

We are outta here!

(tense music)

(Caballeros screaming)

Felldrake: The Spark is getting away!

Not so fast, Felldrake. (grunts)

-Oh, no. -(zapping)

Xandra: Oh, yeah?

Felldrake: Oh, no!

(groans) Oh, no.

(Caballeros screaming)

(José and Panchito grunt)

Did we lose him?

(Caballeros screaming)

(gasps, panting)

Well, that was a close one.

That's it!

-(burbling) -(Donald groaning)

(yelling)

(pants)

(gasp) Donald was Felldrake the whole time?

I did not see that coming.

(gurgling) No.

I am Felldrake.

(gasps) Angry neighbor guy and his stick

have been Felldrake the whole time?

I did not see that coming.

Felldrake: No. I'm Felldrake.

-Felldrake is still trapped in the staff? -(moans)

Felldrake: Now, nothing will stop me from destroying the Three Caballeros.

Oh, no!

(whimpering)

Felldrake: What the nuts?

(bear yells)

Felldrake: You blew it!

Lord Felldrake!

Sheldgoose!

You, sir, have made a mockery of this soiree.

One more step out of line, and someone more qualified,

like Eugenia, will take your place.

So please, by all means, continue with what you were doing.

Well, I-- (stammering)

Would you look at the time?

Goodnight.

(Sheldgoose babbling)

Xandra: Great party.

Uh...

So let me get this straight.

After I specifically asked you to guard the Spark,

you hid it in a rug?

A bear rug.

There is no safer place than inside a bear.

Yeah. 'Cause bears are scary.

Guys, we've got to be more careful.

We just found out Felldrake lives next door.

Fine. Let's get that Spark.

-Ari: Woo! Woo! Ha-ha! -(bear giggling)

But what will happen to the bear?

Well, technically, he did save our skins.

Both: Aww.

All: Aww.

All right. He can stay.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Sheldgoose: Look out your window.

What?

Sheldgoose: Now that we all know who's who,

you have meddled with our plans

for the last time.

Meddlers! Meddlers! Meddlers!

-Felldrake: Hey, me, me, me. -Wait.

Felldrake wants to say something.

Meddlers! Meddlers! Meddlers!

-Now, slam the phone. -(bang)

(all groan)

Oh, I hate those Caballeros.

They must be destroyed.

Felldrake: I'm glad you finally have your priorities straight.

We've underestimated them.

They always show up wherever we are.

So let's use that to our advantage.

We'll set a trap.

Duh!

We won't simply destroy them,

we will erase them!

(laughs evilly)

(closing theme music)