Original subtitles

Yes yes yes yes yes.

All right this may be my last chance.

I need to sit.

Yes yes there we go.

OK.

Oh.

Yes?

The court awaits Mr. Pepys.

Two minutes.

Oh thank you very much.

You'll come with us sir?

Unhand me.

I am a gentleman.

You are a false rotten-hearted rogue Mr. Pepys

And everyone knows it.

Admit your guilt and I'll see you escape with your life.

I know this town.

Kill my reputation.

And I die too.

Reputation is just the stench a corpse leaves behind.

Hung drawn and quartered Mr. Pepys.

Watch while I dangle those overactive private parts

of yours in front of your nose.

And when you're finally dead the devil

will take over where I left off.

Samuel Pepys you are charged with committing

the most heinous of crimes against your king and country.

You are called here today to answer charges of corruption.

And what do they charge me with?

That I spied for the French.

That I accepted bribes.

I never spied for the French.

State secrets thereby willfully aiding

and abetting the enemy.

I call that treason.

Treason.

Hooray!

Eh eh eh.

Good night Waltie.

Samuel now that we are joined together

we wish never to be a stain on your family.

Excellent.

I'm sure you won't.

Good night.

Yet good brother.

In law.

Situation of financial situation

is such that I fear we cannot maintain the exotic standards.

My god.

You want money now?

I...

Good night.

We are in a very...

Death and damnation.

Good night.

If you stay any longer it will be our first anniversary.

Ah Samuel.

May I call you son?

No fuck off.

Is it just you or is your mother in there?

I came here.

I know no one but my family.

And now you're terrible to them.

And they are gone.

And I know no one at all.

Do you know me?

I don't.

I don't know you.

I'm ever so alone.

What do you want?

A dog.

I want a dog.

Now?

Now.

Now we do the married thing.

My mother told me what to expect.

A little pain the first time.

But after that I won't feel a thing.

A little pain the first time.

But after that I won't feel a thing.

Mr. Pepys.

Mr. Pepys you're married now.

No.

I'm a man now.

She's just a child.

You're not.

No one who works as hard as me can be a child.

You were right all of you.

I shouldn't have married a French woman.

I don't understand her.

It's not the French bit you don't understand.

It's the woman.

Show her a little kindness.

Buy her a present.

I have a surprise for you.

Is it a dress?

A hat?

A dog?

It's a turkey.

It's for Sunday lunch.

Why this do you give to me?

Take it into the yard and kill it.

Samuel I have a surprise for you.

I do not kill turkeys.

Call Jane.

She's at Deptford.

In France I tell the maid.

And your family don't have an undermaid. And the maid tells the undermaid.

And the undermaid tells the cook. And your family don't have an undermaid.

And the cook tells the boy. And your family don't have an undermaid.

Yes but you're not in France are you? And your family don't have an undermaid.

You're in England. And your family don't have an undermaid.

And your family don't have an undermaid.

Or an under-undermaid.

They have nothing.

The clothes on your back are mine.

Paid for by my money.

Take them off.

There.

I believe this smock is mine too.

Could you see me naked?

Your own wife?

Where is it?

Fool you have lost a turkey.

You cannot go into the street dressed like that.

Elizabeth?

Witches.

Never mind.

Now must I assassinate two turkeys?

I thought you couldn't.

The boy was useless.

I always had to do it in the end.

Ah!

Sam.

Sam are you all right?

I'm fine.

Sam are you ill?

Sam.

You must never leave me.

Merch.

Your eminence.

It's all right.

This is not my usual attire.

You see the navy discovered

a paper spot

and we confiscated

their vestments.

More communion wine Jane.

I know it's not that funny.

But this is

my patron

Lord Edward Montagu

Cromwell's general at sea.

When he's sober

I'm his clerk.

Drunk he treats me as an equal

as long as I laugh.

As long as I laugh when he does.

What's that?

Your kidney stone

or love.

Your face looks the same

with either affliction.

I don't spend your money.

I never spend your money.

You're not what you is other women.

I'm talking in French!

Pretend sinners!

Pretend for damn your gatherings!

For damn your gatherings!

The Bible says women should be

not only in the flesh

but also in the blood.

In the blood.

The Bible says women should be meek

and obedient.

Perhaps they don't have that bit in France.

I think in truth it is all women

who are slaves to passion.

Men must learn to ride out these storms.

For women do not bear grudges

as men do.

A kind word a gift

and they are quite restored to happiness.

Now I understand this

I feel my affection for Elizabeth

She's gone.

Where?

Back to her family.

No I've never heard such a thing.

No no no she'll be back.

You must heard

she's probably gone on an errand.

She's taken all her clothes.

She said you were always looking

at other women.

Oh Mr. Peakes!

Other men marry for money and are happy.

I marry for love and she leaves me!

I break the hearts

of half the world

and she

breaks mine.

I

break the hearts

of half the world.

I fought a master at Moor.

I fought at Naseby.

To put yourself

in the hands

of a surgeon

well that takes

courage.

To Sam!

To Sam and his stone

may they soon be parted.

Let us make music tonight

for tomorrow we die.

We must find

you a post in the diplomatic service.

How is

La Belle Elizabeth?

We never quarrel now.

Yes I heard she'd left you.

This

is Betty Bagwell.

Her husband's a carpenter on the Gazelle.

You might have heard of it.

Yes a fourth-rater 18 guns

captured from the Spanish off Dunkirk in 53.

And given the state of her

we should probably hand her back.

That's odd. Someone from the Navy board

who knows something about the Navy.

Gentlemen find facts beneath them.

Sam loves them.

Put your

heart into your work Sam

and we'll rise together.

My husband says

it's only the rats holding hands

what keeps the Gazelle from sinking.

He'd like

a commission on a good ship

a vessel where a little prize money

might come his way.

Here's a little something to help you remember

my petition.

Oh I can't see.

You do have something down there don't you?

I'm um

I'm stitched in for the winter.

Oh.

All right.

So

what do you fancy on your last night on Earth?

Oh.

You've never seen a woman naked?

Just like in the paintings.

But without one of them

cherubs in just the wrong place.

Can I?

My William Bagwell. You'll get him on the Naismay.

I shall think of this tomorrow

when they cut me.

Oh!

I do believe

he could do the operation himself.

He knows everything about medicine.

What is this?

That's the itinerarium.

And what do I do with it?

I don't know.

What do I do with it?

You insert it

in the end of the penis

and push it

into the bladder to feel for the stone.

Excellent.

What do I do with this

and these?

Um

you make a three-inch incision

one finger's breadth

from the line between the testicles

and the anus

and then reach into my bladder

Behold the young scientist.

It is most excellent

to find a patient

who has no irrational fear

no irrational fears.

Jane I want you to say a word to Elizabeth.

I did yesterday.

Then we must wait.

We must wait until she comes.

This often happens.

Jane

some money for the pork.

A shilling.

Five shillings.

Take it from my person.

Tell her.

The itinerarium.

If fortune smiles on us

you will faint from the pain.

Oh God forgive me.

Oh oh oh oh.

To the Lord my Admiral

Charles II

and Clerk of the Acts to the Navy Board

to receive bribes

and divers' inducements.

Corruption!

Says Lord Shaftsworth.

There's a rotting intestine stink out the court.

Corruption!

And is this because he hates corruption?

No.

He hates me.

That a tailor's son has become more powerful than a lord.

When I was in his employ

I haven't seen him for a while.

I see him passing naval secrets

to the French ambassador.

Tall fella French accent.

His wife organises...

My wife was a creature of spotless reputation.

You should read his diary.

How dare you insult her...

Read his what?

A diary.

I've seen him scribble scribble scribble

every night.

He puts it all in.

Bribes and the women.

Why didn't you mention this before?

You will produce

this diary Mr Peebs.

I can't.

I've lost it.

What more proof do we need of his guilt?

You'd better pay for this damage.

Sir! Sir!

Cudenda!

Filth!

Where's this damn diary?

They say that at Heaven's Gate

St Peter has a book

for all our sins writ large.

I think I have done his work for him.

When I die

to what shall I awake?

There.

Quite the biggers this year.

Sam.

I came when I heard.

I married for love.

I thought it would be easier.

Yeah I think now.

Perhaps.

I thought it would be easier.

Yeah I think now.

Perhaps this is harder.

Sam.

I married for love too.

God has given me life a second time

and I intend to use it to the full

for the rest of my days.

And this?

Cromwell's dead

and there's talk of them bringing back Charles Sandler's king.

So the army have marched into town

and when there's soldiers in town

you bury your cheese

your wine and your money.

Unfortunately

you can't bury your wife.

My beautiful wife.

Will!

Have you seen my kidney stone?

I swear he sleeps with it beneath his pillow.

And I can afford it

so I'll have it mounted in silver.

Sam.

We live in a time when history is busy.

You've heard Charles Stuart wishes to return his king?

Fear not sir.

I am constant.

I saw the old king's execution and with good fortune

I'll see them chop the head off his son.

Sam.

No! If he dare come our navy will capture him.

I would take the axe myself.

Our navy will bring him here

under my command.

I shall become his Lord High Admiral

and you shall become

his Lord High Admiral's secretary.

Charles Stuart.

There are those who speak well of him.

He'll make a rotten king

but that's the way

the wind blows.

My other clerks I shall dismiss.

We don't wish to employ

those who follow the round head cause

too stiffly.

You favour me because I am pliable.

Sam you are a man of

strong principles

but different ones

for different occasions.

I like that in a man.

Now fetch me some more ale.

Hmm.

Who's this little fellow?

Goldie Mulliver. After you Sam.

Yes.

Well we may have to change

both their names.

Fetch!

Ah!

What a remarkable boy.

Even has the voice of a woman.

There's the breast of a woman.

Fool it is a woman.

Oh!

A woman playing

a woman in the theatre?

What will they think of next?

Stead look at that.

At least we can

thank King Charles for something.

Very beautiful.

This theatre is wrong!

Wrong! It is sacrilege!

It is blasphemy!

It is blasphemous sacrilege!

And you a woman pretending to be a woman!

Why did you and Mr. Hewer go to see Bane

executed?

Did you know the round head Treddon?

He was a good man.

We all knew him.

Sam didn't.

Yes it's strange. There's not a man

in England who fought with Cromwell.

It is mighty odd

how he won the war.

You will burn! Burn in fire!

You will take no more executions

of old comrades than what is like Hawke's Sand.

And as for your man Will Hewer

he reeks too much of Cromwell.

Dismiss him and find yourself a royalist clerk.

Just just do it.

Why do they shriek from me?

My lord it is your sneezing

that I think you have to plead.

Oh is that it?

I'll teach you! I'll teach you!

Fall down!

Do you have any swelling?

Oh be not a weird Sam.

Your patron

and your job

are quite safe.

Anyhow there'll be no plague this year.

That's the first sign of it.

All the doctors are leaving London.

You should be witty more often.

We'll yet mistake you for a gentleman.

Oh

and beware your dancing master.

He may look like he farts frankincense

but too many wives

give birth to a baby that dances

a fine jig in its crib.

Mr. Pembleton?

We've been working on the Caranto Venizio.

Your delightful wife

comes from France

and it comes from Italy.

Like the clap then?

Charles!

Charlie! Charlie come here!

Stay out Charles!

Out!

You weren't dancing.

You were sitting.

I couldn't dance.

My monthlies.

Her monthlies have started.

I want a son.

A child.

Elizabeth fears

the operation for the stone has gelded me.

I fear she was right

and I am a pen without ink.

Samuel

the doctor's list.

I do it! Every damn thing I do it.

I drink sage and marmintent.

I wear cool Holland drawers.

I treat my testes

like they were princes.

And that is not how a wife should dress in company!

You don't think you have the plague already?

Sam

if you're jealous of Mr. Purbelton

replace him with a lady's companion.

That's what I truly want.

I am not jealous.

And besides not having children

why must the font lie with me?

Perhaps childlessness runs in your family.

Brother Samuel!

How much?

When do you call me brother you want money?

I have come to offer you money.

Ha.

You are about to be made clerk

to the arts of the Navy Board.

How do you know that?

I barely know it myself.

What in holy God's name is that?

It was a plague.

I have come

to offer you

500 pounds per annum

for the employee.

You want to buy

my job off me?

And you would give me

500 pounds a year

for a postage pay of 350?

Exactement.

Mr. Peeps

there's two men to see you.

Compler the sailmaker and that tall timber merchant.

And do they have any

packages envelopes

small bags with them?

Yeah.

Someone sent a haunch of venison

and some silk and some sherry.

Mmm.

It seems word is out I'm in charge of naval contracts.

Balty 1200 guineas and the job's yours.

You have grown a mighty proud

for one of Cromwell's clerks.

It helps if you know something

about the Navy.

Wind fucker.

I remember

such merry milkmaids

from when I was a boy.

Don't remember that.

It's the plague.

Makes the whole world mad.

The plague is a cruel creature indeed.

100 000 dead and it's missed Balty.

So uh

shall we have our

picnic here?

Picnic here?

Come on.

I know what it means

when you come to me with a fresh lobster

and a bottle of wine.

Uh. Uh.

Uh.

Don't worry.

Everyone does it up here in Eslington.

Sam. Yes?

Use your finger.

Uh where?

Where do you think?

Are you sure?

Yes I'm sure.

Just like you're using

your abacus.

Um.

The lobster's getting away.

It's a long way to the sea.

Uh.

Of what do you write?

Um.

Last Sunday's sermon.

Very interesting.

About the uh

about the sacred nature of marriage.

I gave her a lobster

and

Nula

put it in a gut.

Took her some mamel

came with her

placoza

with great pleasure.

You know how I like to drift into Latin

when I speak of religious matters?

And Spanish?

Are there many lobsters in the Bible?

If you were ever to break commandment

against adultery

I'm not like other wives Sam.

I won't look the other way.

Elizabeth I...

I love the irregularities in the way you run your office

and I wouldn't hesitate to tell the world.

I won't share you Sam.

I think she says these things

because she loves me.

Besides I have resolved now

to be utterly faithful.

No more moles madams

nor mother midnights.

No more clingfasts

nor golden-locked

insatiates.

No more buttered buns

nor blousabellas.

No more

punks chilts

drabs

smuts

cracks

tom-tods

nor spigot-sucking Venus nuns.

Farewell false fireship

and lewd frigatrix.

No more

sleepy-eyed slattons for me.

I shall not stray

to Bettyland again.

And if I do

I shall put a full crown

in the parish poor box.

So will there be a war with the Dutch?

A naval war.

My lieutenant Bagwell's a good tarpaulin.

Knows the ropes.

Not like all these gentlemen captains.

Half of them I've never seen.

See before.

He deserves promotion.

At this rate

he'll be an admiral.

No don't stop!

Oh.

You all right Mrs Bagwell?

I'm...

What is it? A doctor?

Is it the plague?

It's the female climactic.

Does that mean you're pregnant?

Oh I see.

Your wife goes away from the bed empty-handed.

What?

Your finger Sam.

Use it on Elizabeth.

Do not speak her name!

You're shirking your duties sir.

These sheets need changing.

I'll take no action this time.

There is one other thing Jane.

Money for the poor box?

I saw you leave with the lobster and port wine.

I'll give them five shillings.

A guinea.

A guinea?

A guinea and get a receipt.

A guinea Mr Pepys?

A guinea?

Stop repeating everything I say Jane.

Thrash the rope-maker

has sent me a letter about his contract

with three Spanish gold pieces inside.

And uh

is Thrash a good rope-maker?

Will his ropes hold fast in a storm?

Well yes.

Then you can accept with good conscience

the two gold coins.

I'm afraid not.

Two gold coins.

Two?

This is how your office works.

We take but a quarter

of what those before us took.

Though I...

I do believe it is not to be

my office for much longer.

Lord Montague...

I don't... Will

tell me is all well

with my wife?

Your work brings you here

when I'm away and

Pembleton is here.

Ah.

And Mrs. Peep?

You stutter.

No sir.

Mrs. Peep's in Pembleton?

Absolutely not.

What are you doing?

Of whatever it is don't stop.

I shouldn't have done that.

I shouldn't have taken Betty's advice.

Elizabeth's sure to ask me where I learnt it.

Why hasn't she asked me where I learnt it?

Is it not the first time a man has done that to her?

Still whatever else I do

I must make it up.

Why did you not ask me where I learnt that?

I don't care.

It's just that you didn't seem very surprised.

As if it wasn't the first time.

I have fingers too.

You mean you...

Suppose that you're being French and everything.

You're not just saying that.

Very well if it'll please you.

Sam why did you learn that?

Damn.

I should have thought of an answer shouldn't I?

Um from Lord Montague.

In conversation obviously.

Not in practice.

Sam

I swear to you you've got nothing to fear.

Especially if you get Lord Montague to teach you more.

Yes.

Listen.

Sam?

The guns.

We've found the Dutch fleet.

Jane!

Well he was in line for the royal touch.

Oh what is your affliction I ask?

The rogue replies

I have the pox Your Majesty.

And you should damn well keep it

I say for I'm not touching that thing.

And you should damn well keep it I say for I'm not touching that thing.

A battle off Lowestoft

and we hear it in London.

Um it is the east wind Your Majesty.

It will bring the Dutch fireships to our fleet.

But we will be victorious will we not Mr. Pepys?

We shall certainly overcome them Your Majesty.

Mr. Pepys?

The navy is cruelly underfunded Your Majesty.

Obviously we will be victorious.

So bring me the good news when it comes.

Your Majesty.

Never tell them the truth.

Our navy sits to sea with rotten gunpowder

and our navy sits to sea with rotten gunpowder

and our navy sits to sea with rotten gunpowder.

And why don't we...

No!

if we do nothing and something goes wrong

then we can blame the antiquated system.

But if we reform the system...

If we reform the system and something goes wrong

then the blame falls on us.

And why haven't you dismissed Will Huwert?

He is as I was to you my lord

He too has a mouth that opens

when it should be shut.

And eyes that wander to your wife.

You would never...

He's more jealous of that dancing master than you.

Um Mrs. Peat?

Can you stutter?

So it's an Italian dance you practice is it?

I have heard of these Italian dances.

You're too full. He has never even touched me.

You're lying! You're lying!

He doesn't even like women.

So it is Will?

What? It's no one.

Then who gave you this?

You don't want to give the likes of this.

It was a gift from your lord

from Montague.

He'd make me his mistress.

I said no sir.

You were not rude to him.

Oh you stupid stupid man!

No I was not rude to him.

The King Charles taken.

And another

15 ships.

I think the devil shits Dutchmen.

The Navy Board sent us to sea in ships that rot.

While they line their own pockets.

But you will bring us a victory

won't you?

Well the fleet sets out

this morning your majesty.

Your majesty.

The Dutch are winning.

Perhaps you should change sides.

Again.

I should piss

into his damn tube.

Don't you say anything.

You spent your time

spying on your wife

and her damn dancing master

while he should be looking after our interests.

That is not fair.

Why haven't you dismissed Huwer?

Charles brings a bunch of butted-ass

liquors grows stronger by the minute.

And employ one of them

by some goodwill.

I work

from four in the morning

to ten at night.

When my lord

I might have good cause to watch my wife.

God.

There's something to be said

for an unfaithful wife Sam.

Never bother a husband

about his excursions.

My wife is faithful

and will always be so.

You may not have encountered women like her at court.

And I shall be keeping Wilk Huwer.

I need him to implement the reforms.

Why suddenly so bold Sam?

Are you now a politician too?

I know more than him.

Work harder than him

do my job better than him.

Yet if Shakespeare were to write a play of our lives

he would be the king and I the fool.

Brought me some broth.

Have you Sam?

Why are you kind to one you hate?

To one the love letters with whom you burn?

Kept the first letter you sent me.

Why do we quarrel so?

That is why you must have a companion

so you quarrel with her

and not with me.

Sam

I don't believe we'll be blissful as children.

No no I...

No it's all right.

We'll just have to learn to get along with each other.

I swear to God

I shall be faithful to this woman.

Though the poor box

and catchers of lobsters

suffer terribly.

I shall work hard

and stay at home.

If we do not have children

then we shall at least die

from trying so hard and so often.

I shall work hard

and stay at home.

If we do not have children

then we shall at least die

Let these sinners repent!

Fire and pestilence

be upon ye!

Repent or ye shall burn!

And tell Hayter to cross-check the

manifests before he inspects them

and snugs the work.

Sam?

This is my lady companion

Miss Deborah Willetts.

Sam?

Sam!

Why don't you give them the diary Sam?

It'll save you.

Because I wrote the truth Will.

The whole truth.

No man in England could escape ignominy

if the world knew what he truly thought.

Yes but without it

you seem guilty.

The best odds I can get

is six to four on

that you're lying.

Is it better to lose your reputation

or your life?

Sharpe's reason.

A very clever man.

A clever man at ten a penny.

But it's only one in a thousand

who can master the facts.

Get me information.

Will and Under Newbalty and Paris.

Find me the facts

and I'll disprove their charges.

That's how we'll defeat them.

Will you Sam?

Where's your damn diary?

You're too vain to have burnt it.

Six big heavy volumes

Jones tells me.

We'll put them in your pockets

when we hang you.

I was horrified

to see Mr Peep's friend

Will Hewer

in Versailles handing the package

to none other than Monsieur Le Pellisserie.

The late treasurer-general

of the French navy.

Slap my vitals sir.

The very same.

Passing information to the French peeps.

I call that

treason.

So would I.

This was in

August Captain Scott two years ago.

Yes that's right.

In Versailles.

Yes.

You weren't arrested in Amsterdam for fraud

whilst trying to escape dressed in women's clothing.

You can't sir.

On what do you base these vile

allegations?

Dutch court records.

Yes but

my records show that he was released

two weeks later.

At which point he could indeed

have gone directly to Versailles.

But Will Hewer could not.

On that night he was attending

a small private performance

by one of our leading actresses

entitled Beneath the Seventh Veil

with

a number of people including I believe

yourself Lord Chalfsbury.

I think you have reached the end of your tether.

This is all very well Mr. Pepys

but if you are innocent

why will you not let the court read your diary?

Aye.

I can beat down

every false claim they raise against me

but the jury of my peers are all

Chalfsbury's cronies.

Innocent or guilty

it really is very hard to say.

Let's go.

I think of her when I wake

and I dream of her when I sleep.

I could break so many

commandments with her.

I think

if I can see her naked

just one more time

it will purge

my mind of lust

and I will return to virtue.

Don't you ever knock?

I'll brush your hair tonight Mr. Pepys.

There's no need.

It's best for all of us.

How is Elizabeth?

She's refusing to wash

and the fever's getting worse.

Sir

you must have the most brushed hair

in England.

So this too?

This is also

a way of showing respect

in a refined household.

I'm sure you'll like it.

Respect in a refined household?

Yes they

do it at court.

It comes from Italy.

I must tell Mrs. Pepys.

She's...

No no no.

Mrs. Pepys doesn't like the Italians.

I don't think I believe you anymore Mr. Pepys.

I'm sorry.

I didn't say you had to stop.

I haven't the money to marry

but I don't see why poverty should make a nun of me.

Well if this is what men and women do

I'd much prefer it to housework.

But

Mr. Pepys

no further south

than Italy.

It's such a short voyage

to Sicily.

Mr. Pepys

you've reached North Africa and you must retire.

I love you.

I love you like I love nothing else.

When I lie with my wife

I see your face.

Well then Jane must brush your hair.

Oh please I live for this.

I love you.

I love you like I love no one else on earth.

I'll find you lodgings.

I'll send you money.

I'll still see you.

I do I do.

Elizabeth!

Don't touch me!

Don't come near me!

I don't I don't!

Jane?

Your Lordship

you are too valuable

to lead the fleet at sea.

You'll be a target

for the Dutch.

It seems you're the target

for the French Sam.

Oh

this cursed court.

All their bobbing

and curtsying

flattery and flummery.

I'm choking on it.

I'm a soldier Sam

and I want to die a soldier's death

before all my blood

turns to perfume.

I could come to sea with you.

Oh Sam

you were born to die

in your bed

or someone else's.

Me

I should have died with Cromwell

a long time ago.

lord must you speak of death so?

You're Elizabeth.

I tried my darndest but for some reason

the woman wouldn't have me.

Sam

it's you she wants.

Polish it so it

shines like the sun.

I want those Dutch

bastards to know who I am!

Hey there!

French flagship!

Ah!

So you love her

and not me do you?

Ah!

The condom

is a foul contrivance.

It's a cobweb against disease

and yet a fortress against pleasure.

See?

Ah now Mr. Peeps.

I suppose following upon such a victory

we should give you poor dead Montague's office.

The Dutch aren't beaten yet

Your Majesty.

The navy must reform.

When we fight the Dutch English voices cry out

from their ships saying

we're paid in money not tokens.

And their officers Your Majesty

are sailors not gentlemen.

They are trained.

They have a naval academy.

For God's sake our ships have

fireplaces on them.

It's not surprising they burn.

Until we match the Dutch

we will not master them.

Ah.

I always feared you had opinions Mr. Peeps.

This is what comes of promoting

tailors Your Majesty.

Ha ha ha.

Let me tell you something

Mr. Peeps.

The damn navy bores me half

to death.

I am God's anointed king

and yet I cannot escape sitting in a room

where men talk of bilge and barnacles

and biscuits for hours on end.

Do what you like with the damn navy.

Paint it pink and man it with monkeys

so long as it costs me no more money.

And you describe it

briefly.

Very very briefly

Mr. Peeps.

There's a fire in the city.

I've seen it Your Majesty.

A woman could piss it out.

Ha ha ha.

The wind's changed.

It's coming towards us.

I've got the whole of London's burning.

You'll just have to take my word for it.

I'll denounce you.

See if you get your promotion back.

Murderer! Murderer!

All London will know you for what you are.

A crooked sterile womanizer.

Mr. Peeps we must leave now.

Load the carts.

The cart's loaded.

Writer saying you will never see her again.

Saying you despise and detest her

and that she's a common whore.

I cannot do that.

Do it or we'll all burn.

For God's sake other men bond and their wives did nothing of it.

Other men's wives do not love them.

Will you write it or no?

Write it Mr. Peeps.

Find her lodgings and I will take it to her.

Mr. Peeps!

I will take it to her.

Very well.

I will write it.

Beauty retired.

How does my pity move?

Believe my pity

and then trust my love.

Mm-hmm mm-hmm mm-hmm.

Mm my love.

My love.

The new and painful ones

have studied war.

I break the hearts

of half the world

and she

breaks mine.

Will took the note I wrote

but delivered another one

to Debs with some money.

I never saw her again.

And I will say this.

I never saw another woman

as long as Elizabeth lived.

I'll say it.

I only wish it were true.

I try the doctor's

damn fool cures.

Spiders wrapped in their own silk.

Darvish are tough eat.

They do no good.

And as I sit here

alone

in the middle of the night

the new science fades away

and I would slaughter

newborn infants

if I thought it would save her.

Now she cannot talk

and she cannot hear me.

I know it's her I always want.

I miss her laughter

and I miss her rages

and I miss her body

and I miss hating her.

The sun

is about to rise

the sun is about to rise

on the 10th of November

1669

and today my wife

Elizabeth Heaps will die.

Forgive me.

Judge me as you will.

Mr. Peeps.

To the charges of treason

and corruption

you have been found

innocent.

This court

finds that Mr. Peeps has no

charges to answer.

Sir you are free to go.

Sam.

Sam you should be celebrating.

Well

did you love my wife?

Sam you know that I never

I know you never

but did you love her?

I esteemed her above all other.

Me well

did I esteem her so?

Sam

you will never be safe

until you've destroyed your diary.

I'll build a bonfire in the yard.

Money for the poor box.

I wonder if you can grease

the palm of the almighty.

And

fetch me a lobster

and a bottle of port wine.

How is Mrs. Bagwar?

Fine.

And her husband?

Commodore Sir William.

Commodore Sir William Bagwar?

He's fine too.

Now shoo before the shop closes.

You never really burn your diary will you?

To write a diary they say is to

live life three times.

Once when it happens

once when you write it and

once when you read it again.

I should like mine to be

lived one more time

after I'm gone.

Who knows perhaps

posterity will judge me kindly.

I shouldn't think so Mr. Peeps.

Fetch a lobster and port wine.

Don't think too long about it now.

I've got a shoulder of mutton in the oven