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Wah da.
Ha. Huh.
Ya.
NARRATOR: And now DreamWork's Kung Fu
Panda, Legends of Awesomeness.
PO: (SINGING): Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda.
Doon, Doon, doon, da bom da boom boom.
Raised in a noodle shop, never seeking glory or fame.
He climbed the mountain top and earned the dragon warrior name.
Ooh, ah, ya.
Kung Fu Panda.
Doon, doon, doon, da bom da boom boom.
Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom
and master the skills of bodacious and awesome.
Kung Fu Panda.
Doon, doon, doon, da bom da boom boom.
He lives and he trains and he fights with the Furious Five.
Protect the valley somethin', somethin',
somethin' somethin' alive.
Hoo ah ooh.
Kung Fu Panda.
Legends of awesomeness.
Sweet.
[ORIENTAL MUSIC]
These will fetch a pretty penny on the black market.
You know, it's kind of annoying the way
you always state the obvious.
MONKEY: You think that's annoying?
Wait until we kick your butts.
Hai.
These are priceless.
Don't let them get damaged.
Hey, they don't want the stuff to get damaged.
I know. [MUSIC PLAYING]
Back off or the tapestry gets it.
No. It's 2000 years old.
We are going to walk out of here nice and easy, and you--
PO: Shakabooie.
Sorry I'm late.
Po look out for--
I'm on it .
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TIGRESS: Po, be careful.
Don't worry.
I'm OK.
[YELLING AND FIGHTING]
Po. PO: Just a minute.
Done and done.
Now, what did you want to say?
MASTER SHIFU: Po, you can't just blunder into situations
like a panda in a China shop.
Well, this is China and I'm a panda so--
You know what I mean.
You need to think before you act.
Think before you act.
Think!
But I'm the acty guy, not that thinky guy.
You're just mad because you couldn't handle
those thieves without me.
We were handling them.
Sure with some help from these guys.
Lefty and Roger.
CRANE: Aah.
Oh.
The Emperor.
The Emperor.
What about the Emperor?
He's here.
ALL TOGETHER: Ah.
The Emperor is here? Unannounced?
This is serious trouble.
Maybe he's just dropping by to say howdy.
The last time an emperor dropped by the Jade Palace
was hundreds of years ago, and he howdied
seven people's heads off. -Gulp.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Am I doing this right?
Be quiet.
Should I be in the back because I'm
tall or should I be in the front because I'm the dragon warrior?
Po, you are not to speak during ceremonial greetings.
Tremble in feat and bow in respect
to his most noble and imperious Emperor of all China.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
EMPEROR LU: Hey there party people.
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
TIGRESS: We thought it was the Emperor.
MONKEY: What's going on?
Lu, long time no-- aah.
It's OK.
He's my old kung fu teacher.
Stand down faithful guards.
Their so protective.
But that's the downside of becoming the Emperor.
Yeah, well, I guess-- what?
EMPEROR LU: My grandfather retired
and named me as his successor.
You're looking at Emperor, Lu Kang, ruler of all China.
He may be Emperor, but he's still a klutz.
You got that right.
I'm just going to-- ah-- uh.
Anyway, in a couple days I'm having
my imperial ascension ceremony.
We scheduled it to coincide with the eclipse.
You can't have a good ascension ceremony without an eclipse.
It's really all the rage.
Ahem.
Oh, right, right, right.
Dragon Warrior I want to introduce you
to my chief advisor, Duke Zhihui.
He is most impressive.
Back at ya.
And I want to introduce you to the Duke's assistant, Pangbing.
I'm in charge of slop bucket.
Pangbing.
You are not to speak during ceremonial greetings.
And last, but not least, I want to introduce you to my new head
of security, you.
Huh?
Wait what?
Nifty surprise, huh?
Po, I'm appointing you to be head of imperial security,
for real.
Oh my gosh, Lu.
This is the greatest honour ever.
But are you sure?
I mean--
Master Po, when I came here to learn kung fu,
you were the only one who believed in me,
and now I believe in you and fairies.
Cool.
This is going to be great.
Tigress will be in charge of discipline.
Crane, you'll handle ankle bracelets.
EMPEROR LU: No Po. You don't understand.
I just want you.
The furious five will remain here at the Jade Palace.
You mean I have to leave my friends?
But-- but I--
Your Majesty, might I suggest one of the furious five
as head of security, perhaps Tigress or Monkey
or really anyone but Po?
Huh?
Don't get me wrong.
Po has many fine qualities, such as all those qualities he has.
But he's not really management material.
Don't sugarcoat it Shifu.
What do you really think?
I'm sorry, Po.
Head of Imperial Security is a critical position.
The Emperor's life is a constant state of peril.
It is?
MASTER SHIFU: Yes, it is.
This job requires analysis, preparation,
thinking, not just acting.
Hey, I can think while I act.
Can you now?
Then answer this riddle.
What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?
Oh, ah, hmm.
MASTER SHIFU: Now attack me.
Oh, OK.
I just-- just got to-- ha.
Whoa. Oh.
How big a barrel or-- Ah, oh.
Is in a feather?
I'm sorry, Panda, you're just not a thinker.
Your Majesty-- -Ooh, is it two feathers?
I'm thinky enough to do this job, right guys?
Thinky?
Fine, then I'll prove you all wrong.
I can handle this.
Lu, I accept your offer.
Yeah.
PO: Oh, ah, oh, ah.
This is going to be so great, Po.
It'll be a really long sleepover.
[FLUTE MUSIC]
So uh-- I guess this is goodbye.
Don't stay away too long. [BUZZER SOUND]
Aah.
I can't believe you still fall for that.
Going to miss you, buddy.
Ow. Aah.
Ooo.
Take care of yourself, Panda.
You too, Tigress.
Put a little of this in your tea every morning.
It'll help with that ah-- problem.
Which problem?
Mm-hm.
Oh, right.
Thanks bro.
I'm going to miss you, man.
[ORIENTAL MUSIC]
[CRYING]
[ORIENTAL MUSIC]
Hm.
-Master Po. -Master Shifu.
Po, be careful.
Be careful?
You really think I'm going to mess this up, don't you?
Well, the Emperor thinks I can do it, and so do I Master.
See you around.
Po.
[FLUTE MUSIC]
Just be careful.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
OK, men, while we're camped out for the night,
make sure to keep an eye out for any dan-- ger.
Carry on.
Oh, Duke Zhihui, I wanted to talk to you about a-- ah.
Eh, I don't think that Duke guy likes me much.
That's OK.
He doesn't like anyone else either.
It's not just him.
Nobody here takes me seriously except for you.
Maybe Shifu was right.
PANGBING: Nonsense.
Nobody took Lu Kang seriously, and now look at him.
He's the Emperor.
He's instituted Friday pie days.
Pie.
You're right Pangbing.
Thanks.
You're a good friend.
I better check on Lu.
-A badger. -What?
The thing you put in the barrel to make it lighter, a badger.
Oh, I don't think so.
Dang.
[STOMACH GROWLS]
Whoa, time for third dinner.
You keep thinking, Lu, ah-- I'm going to sniff out some food.
[SNIFFING SOUNDS]
[MUSIC PLAYING AND SMACKING SOUNDS]
PO: Oh. [STOMACH GROWLING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DUKE ZHIHUI: That Panda could ruin everything.
We'll have to escalate our plans.
Tonight we eliminate this so-called Dragon Warrior.
Then, we move on the Emperor.
Ah.
Lu Kang's days are numbered.
Ah, heh, heh, heh.
What's up, Duke?
Get that Panda.
He's-- he's a traitor.
Lu Kang. Lu Kang.
[BATTLE MUSIC]
PO: Lu Kang.
Time for pie?
[BATTLE MUSIC]
-Lu. -Hey, what's going on?
Zhihui is plotting against you . We got to go.
EMPEROR LU: Well, that's no good.
Hey do I have time to pack a few things.
PO: No. EMPEROR LU: What are you doing?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SCREAMING]
EMPEROR LU: Ugh.
Oh, my gosh.
That was so cool.
Can we do it again?
Maybe later.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Got to-- go-- got to rest.
Really.
I could keep going for-- agh.
Ugh.
Yeah.
Rest sounds good.
OK, what do we do now?
PO: We get you to the Jade Palace where you'll be safe.
Come on.
Still thinking about that riddle?
EMPEROR LU: Don't tell me.
Is it a soap bubble?
PO: We'll be safe here.
[FLUTE MUSIC]
[FIGHTING NOISES] [MUSIC PLAYING]
Ooh.
Zhihui.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Ah dua.
Oh.
Agh. EMPEROR LU: Oh.
[EERIE MUSIC]
PO: Come on. [EERIE MUSIC]
PO: Here.
This is an old access tunnel to the Jade Palace's
emergency water supply.
We'll sneak in, and I can take Zhihui one on one.
Look at you all using your brain and stuff.
Kind of hurts right in here.
Yea, I get that all the time.
[WATER DRIPPING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hide here.
I'll capture Zhihui and force him to free Shifu and the Five.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PO: Agh.
Eee.
Ah.
What kept you?
I've been standing behind that column for ages.
[MUSIC PLAYING AND FIGHTING SOUNDS]
But how?
That was solid steel.
And I'm solid Dragon Warrior.
[MUSIC PLAYING AND SWORDS CLASHING]
PO: Ooh.
Not that solid.
Farewell Dragon-- agh.
Pangbing, you saved me.
-Is the Emperor all right? -Don't worry.
Who's hiding over there behind that armour?
-Good to know. -Huh?
[MUSIC PLAYING ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
But I thought--
Thinking was your first mistake.
[MUSIC PLAYING AND ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
Huh?
[MUSIC PLAYING ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
Pangbing, I thought we were pals,
but you, you're some kind of evil sorceress lady.
What tipped you off, the levitating or this?
[MUSIC PLAYING ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
A--a-- a little of both.
[ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
Yeow.
Ow, ah, hah, hah. Agh.
[ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
[MUSIC PLAYING ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
PO: Hoo-ah. -Get Lu Kang.
Yes Master.
Why?
Why are you doing this?
My mystical order has been around since the dawn
of the first dynasty.
We hoped to use our magic to promote
peace and harmony amongst all and enlighten the people.
But they were simple, stupid folk.
Fearing our power, they shunned us.
I explained our good intentions to the Emperor,
but he was as ignorant as those he
ruled and ordered our arrest.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PANGBING: was the only one who escaped.
Over the centuries, I mastered the power
that would allow me to take my revenge
on the people and their tyrannical Emperor,
mind control.
Look, what that Emperor did to you was wrong.
But it happened like 1,000 years ago.
You look great by the way.
None of those that hurt you are even around anymore.
Why mind control us?
Because I can, except for Lu.
He's too simple to be controlled,
a mind that can only focus on one thing at a time
is impervious to my magic.
I like olives.
So I took control of Duke Zhihui and the guards instead.
Soon, I will control all the minds in China.
At the eclipse, I will perform the ritual of infusing
and my powers will increase a million-fold.
[MUSIC PLAYING ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
To think, this imbecile is the only thing
that can ruin my plans.
I am?
But you won't.
I won't?
No and neither will your idiot panda friend.
Ah, that's idiot Dragon Warrior to you.
Oh.
[MUSIC PLAYING ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
PO: COME on. them.
[MUSIC PLAYING ELECTRICAL CHARGES]
EMPEROR LU: Ow.
Keep moving.
[MUSIC PLAYING AND ROARS FROM GUARDS]
Ah. [MUSIC PLAYING]
Ho-ah. EMPEROR LU: Ah.
This is going to be dramatic.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PO: Ow.
Morning head of security.
I found some fruit for breakfast.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Lu, those are pebbles.
Oh.
I kind of wish I hadn't eaten so many of them then.
MONKEY: You won't get away with this.
TIGRESS: Oh. [MUSIC PLAYING]
They're headed towards the capital.
Yea, so Pangbing can add them to her mind-controlled army
during the eclipse.
But the eclipse is tomorrow.
We're running out of time.
What are we going to do, and what do you put
in a barrel to make it lighter?
I don't know, Lu.
I've completely blown it.
Shifu was right.
I'm no good at thinking.
I'm no good at anything.
I still believe in you, Po.
And fairies.
And fairies.
There's no way we can stop Pangbing.
Nothing can.
Ah, except you.
She said you could stop her, but how?
How?
Ooh, ooh. I know.
I know.
Call on me.
Call on me.
Legend has it that long ago during an eclipse,
my great, great, great grand uncle,
Emperor Shun became all super strong and stuff.
Maybe that will happen to me.
That must be it.
At the eclipse you'll become powerful enough
to defeat Pangbing.
Will I have huge rippling muscles and six-pack abs?
I don't see why not.
Yea me.
We have to get you to the capital before the eclipse.
But how?
We're going to need help, really powerful help.
What?
Did you have a good happy idea or a bad frowny idea?
Lu Kang, I present our powerful but evil help.
Dau Dai master of machinery, to the mighty rhino, Hundun.
The dreaded crime lord Tong Fo, Tamutai Warrior King
of the Chi Don, and Fung and Gahri
these two guys who try really hard.
Darn it.
[METAL DOOR SLAMMING]
HUNDUN: So, Panda, now that we're free, how are you going
to stop us from running away.
I'll tell you tomorrow during the eclipse
an evil sorceress is going to enslave everyone in China,
everyone, including you.
I hate being enslaved.
It's one of my least favourite things.
PO: Out only hope is to put our differences
aside and cooperate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LOUD EXPLOSION]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So what do you say, guys?
Let's go save China.
Oh, ho.
Ah.
Ah. Huh?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
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