Original subtitles

- WA-CHA! HIYAH!

male announcer: AND NOW,

DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.

- [grunts] [gong rings]

* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *

[scatting]

* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *

* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *

* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *

* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *

OOH! AHH! YAH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *

* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *

* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE

* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *

* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *

OOH! AHH! UH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS

SWEET!

[soft music]

*

[muffled banging]

- AQUEDUCT, HA!

NO GOOD WILL COME OF IT, I SAY.

[shovel plops] - WHAT?

THIS THING'S GONNA SUPPLY WATER TO THE ENTIRE VALLEY.

JUST THINK OF IT.

NO MORE WALKING TO THE WELL.

- YEAH, BUT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO RUN IT

THROUGH THESE MU TONG FIELDS?

THIS STUFF IS TOXIC.

- ONLY IF YOU INGEST IT.

JUST RELAX.

WHY ARE YOU SO JUMPY?

- SERIOUSLY? YOU'VE HEARD THE RUMORS.

- WHAT, ABOUT SOME KILLER SNAKE?

PLEASE. YOU CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR.

[shovel bangs]

- I WOULDN'T BE TOO SURE OF THAT.

BOW DOWN, "CUR-SED" TWO-LEGGERS.

BOW DOWN BEFORE LORD FU-XI.

- [gasps] TOO--TOO SCARED...TO BOW.

- SUCH A PITY FOR YOU.

[grunts savagely]

- HURRY UP, SLOWPOKES!

WE'RE LATE FOR THE AQUEDUCT FESTIVAL!

- ANOTHER FESTIVAL?

DON'T THESE VILLAGERS EVER WORK?

- LIGHTEN UP, TIGRESS.

IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

- SURE, IF YOU'RE SOME LAZY NO-ACCOUNT SLACKER.

- AQUEDUCT! [laughs giddily]

WHOA!

[bodies hit ground] all: OH!

- SORRY, GUYS.

[grunts] I GOT SWEPT AWAY WITH AQUEDUCT FEVER.

- DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT AN AQUEDUCT IS?

- COULD YOU REPEAT THE, UH, QUESTION?

- LET'S JUST GO TO THE FESTIVAL.

- [screams]

[body hits ground]

- I MAY NEED A SHOWER FIRST.

[overlapping chattering]

[silence]

- HEY, EVERY--

BODY.

- [gasps shakily] OOH!

[tense music]

- WHY IS EVERYONE STARING AT US?

- I THINK THEY'RE STARING AT VIPER.

- [grunts, whimpers]

[gasps]

- ARE YOU OKAY?

- I'M SO SORRY.

WITH THE STORIES WE'VE BEEN HEARING,

I GUESS WE'RE ALL A LITTLE WARY OF SNAKES.

- WHAT? WHAT STORIES?

- THERE'S AN EVIL MONSTER LURKING IN THE FOREST!

A SCARY SNAKE.

JUST LIKE YOU!

- HANG ON A SECOND.

THIS IS CRAZY.

VIPER'S A GREAT WARRIOR.

A MASTER OF THE JADE PALACE.

AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS. - [whimpering shakily]

- PO, IT'S OKAY.

- NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT OKAY.

DON'T BE SCARED, LITTLE BUDDY.

I FELT THE SAME WAY ABOUT VIPER UNTIL I GOT TO KNOW HER.

- YEAH!

WHAT?

- BUT NOW I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER!

THE SCALES, FANGS,

HER SINISTER FORKED TONGUE.

THAT CREEPY SLITHERING THING SHE DOES.

- [whines loudly]

- I THINK I'M WINNING HIM OVER. - HMM.

- THIS IS MASTER VIPER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU'RE ALL ACTING LIKE FOOLS.

- YEAH, THAT'S HOW YOU WIN 'EM OVER.

- COME ON, FOLKS!

THERE'S NO PROOF THAT ANY SNAKE HAS DONE ANYTHING TO ANYONE.

- SNAKE!

HE'S AFTER ME! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

NO! NO! HE'S EVERYWHERE!

[yelling and whimpering]

- CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! WHAT'S WRONG?

- [yelps]

- IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE SAFE NOW.

[dramatic musical surge]

- FU-XI. FU-XI!

[groans hysterically]

- FU-XI?

- SO THE EVIL SNAKE'S NAME IS FU-XI?

- SOUNDS LIKE HE'S

SOME SNEAKY, SLIMY, BELLY-CRAWLING SNAKE.

- I THINK WE'VE COVERED THAT, PO.

- WHOEVER FU-XI IS,

HE MUST BE CONSIDERED A GRAVE MENACE.

- NO! LORD FU-XI IS NOT A MENACE!

- WHAT?

- HOLD ON, I'LL FIELD THIS ONE.

WHAT?

- YOU--

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- [growls]

- LORD FU-XI IS A DESCENDENT OF THE DRAGON GODS.

HE'S STRONG, FAST AS LIGHTNING.

AT FIRST, HE BRAVELY FOUGHT TO DEFEND CHINA.

HIS VENOM FILLS HIS VICTIMS WITH A MIND-NUMBING FEAR.

HIS TERRIFIED ENEMY WOULD SIMPLY FLEE,

AND HE HARMED NO ONE.

BUT THERE WERE THOSE THAT FEARED HIS POWER.

[indistinct shouts]

FU-XI AND HIS FAMILY WERE PERSECUTED.

ENRAGED, HE TURNED RENEGADE,

SWEARING VENGEANCE AGAINST HIS TWO-LEGGED OPPRESSORS.

BUT EVEN NOW,

EVERY SNAKE IN CHINA STILL REGARDS HIM AS A HERO.

- BUT YOU SAW WHAT HE DID TO THAT WORKER.

YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY THINK HE'S A HERO.

- I'M A SNAKE, AREN'T I?

- YEAH, BUT YOU'RE NOT LIKE OTHER SNAKES.

YOU'RE, YOU KNOW, NICE.

- AND OTHER SNAKES AREN'T?

- YES. NO. TRICK QUESTION!

- ATTITUDES LIKE THAT

ARE THE REASON FU-XI TURNED RENEGADE.

- VIPER, ENOUGH.

WE'VE GOT TO WORK TOGETHER IF WE'RE GONNA TAKE FU-XI DOWN.

- I'M SORRY, MASTER. I--

I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THAT.

- WHAT? - YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

- VIPER, YOU KNOW THIS ENEMY.

WE NEED YOU.

- I WON'T FIGHT AGAINST MY OWN KIND.

I WON'T!

- MASTER VIPER.

I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOU PRIVATELY.

- YES, SIR.

- [sighs]

WHY'D VIPER GET SO MAD AT ME?

- UH, LET'S SEE.

ONE, SHE'S UPSET

ALL THE VILLAGERS TURNED AGAINST HER.

AND, TWO, YOU WERE EXTREMELY UNCOOL, MAN.

- WHOA!

WAA! - YEAH, PO.

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SNAKES,

THEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH VIPER.

- THAT'S NOT TRUE!

I LOVE VIPER!

SHE'S KIND, AND GENEROUS, AND GOOD.

BUT IT IS KIND OF GROSS WHEN SHE UNHINGES HER JAWS AT LUNCH.

[birds chirping]

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M A CLOSET SNAKE-A-PHOBE.

GAH! I DISGUST ME.

- EVERYONE, VIPER HAS SOMETHING SHE'D LIKE TO SAY.

- I MAY BE A SNAKE,

BUT MY FIRST DUTY IS TO THE JADE PALACE.

I'LL DO WHAT I CAN TO STOP FU-XI.

- VIPER, I'M SORRY.

I-I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

- IT'S OKAY, PO.

[softly] FORGET IT.

- BECAUSE OF HER EXPERTISE,

I'M SENDING VIPER TO INVESTIGATE THE SCENE OF THE ATTACK.

PO, YOU ARE GOING WITH HER.

- RIGHT.

DON'T WORRY, MASTER SHIFU.

WE'LL CATCH THAT SNAKY, SCALY--

I MEAN SERPENT-Y, SLITHERING, UH, FORKY-TONGUE--

AAH!

[birds chirping]

- JUST GO.

[light music]

[water rushing]

- EXCUSE ME, FELLAS.

HAVE YOU SEEN A VERY LARGE, VERY LETHAL SNAKE

IN THIS AREA?

- [gasps] SNAKE!

[overlapping screaming]

- [softly] THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

- THEY THINK I'M A BAD GUY JUST BECAUSE I'M A SNAKE.

- [sighs] THAT'S 'CAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW THE REAL YOU.

THEY CAN'T SEE PAST THE SKIN SHEDDING

AND THE LEG-LESS-NESS.

WHICH I LOVE.

- MAYBE WE SHOULD SPLIT UP.

- WOULDN'T IT BE SAFER TO STAY TOGETHER?

- NOT FOR YOU.

[shimmer] - VIPER, I--

[groans]

- DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M HELPING THESE PETTY JERKS.

- [rattles]

- THAT'S AS FAR AS YOU GO, SNAKE!

- WAIT, I'M ON YOUR SIDE.

- YOU DON'T FOOL US.

- DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!

I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.

- IEE!

[both grunting] - [groans]

- [grunts] - OOH.

OOH. [grunting]

- [screams savagely]

- YAH!

MISERABLE TWO-LEGGERS.

NO ONE HARMS A SERPENT WHILE I LIVE.

[all scream savagely] - [hisses]

[grunting, punching]

- [inhaling] - LORD FU-XI!

- [screams]

- YOU--YOU SAVED ME.

- DID I?

- [inhales] - [gasps]

- [grunts]

- [screams goofily]

[bangs into cart]

- LORD FU-XI, WAIT!

YOU SAVED ME.

TWICE.

THANK YOU.

- I'D DO THE SAME FOR ANY SERPENT, LITTLE SISTER.

EVEN THE GREAT MASTER VIPER OF THE JADE PALACE.

- YOU--YOU KNOW ME?

- WE ALL KNOW YOU. YOU'RE A SERPENT.

YET YOU FIGHT FOR THE TWO-LEGGERS.

WHY? - THEY'RE MY FRIENDS.

WE--WE PROTECT THE VALLEY.

- I PROTECT THE VALLEY AS WELL,

FROM YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDS.

WELL, VIPER, ARE YOU HERE TO DEFEAT ME,

DO THE TWO-LEGGERS BIDDING, AND LOCK ME UP?

- I-I WAS.

BUT I CAN'T.

YOU ARE A GREAT HERO.

THE OTHERS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- LARGE, SCARY SNAKE?

COILS OF DEATH?

KINDA FANGY? ANYONE? NO? - [screaming]

- SIR, PLEASE, I'M CONDUCTING A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION.

- S-S-SNAKE!

BACK THERE! - HUH?

OH, THAT'S JUST MY PAL VIPER.

SHE'S TOTALLY COOL.

BUT DO NOT EAT LUNCH WITH HER.

[shudders] - BUT THERE'S TWO OF THEM!

[overlapping shouting]

- TWO?

[gasps] VIPER!

- I'M FLATTERED YOU THINK SO HIGHLY OF ME,

LITTLE SISTER.

BUT I WARN YOU,

I'M ABOUT TO STRIKE A GREAT BLOW FOR SERPENTS EVERYWHERE.

YOU AND YOUR JADE PALACE FRIENDS

HAD BETTER STAY OUT OF MY WAY.

- LORD FU-XI, WAIT.

MAYBE I CAN...

MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU.

- [dramatically] REALLY?

- VIPER! HAH!

- WAIT!

- FOR WHAT?

HE'S EVIL.

[grunting]

AAH! NOT THAT ALL SNAKES ARE EVIL.

- [hisses]

- WA-HAH!

I'M SURE HE HAS MANY GOOD QUALITIES.

[chuckles]

- PERISH, FOOL!

[grunts]

[both grunting, punching]

- FEEL FREE TO HELP ANYTIME. - [hisses]

- PO, STOP!

- DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, VIPER.

THIS GUY'S TOUGH, BUT NOT TOUGH ENOUGH

TO FIGHT THE PARALYZING SHOULDER PINCH!

COURSE, MIGHT BE TOUGH,

WHAT WITH THE LACK OF SHOULDERS AND--GAH!

[both grunting]

[punches]

[cracking]

- HA-HA!

SORRY, PAL, YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.

- NO!

- [grunting]

[panting]

- COME ON!

- VIPER?

- YOU SAVED ME BACK THERE.

THANK YOU, LITTLE SISTER.

- YOU'RE...

YOU'RE WELCOME, LORD FU-XI.

- YOUR FORMER FRIENDS WON'T BE HAPPY

ABOUT YOUR BETRAYAL, YOU KNOW.

- I DID WHAT I FELT WAS RIGHT.

AND I'M NOT SURE THEY EVER WERE MY FRIENDS.

I SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO FIT IN,

BUT I WAS ALWAYS...

DIFFERENT.

- YES, AND YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF THAT DIFFERENCE.

YOU'RE A SNAKE.

NOW, ACT LIKE ONE!

- I'M NOT SURE I KNOW HOW ANYMORE.

- FOR STARTERS,

STOP BEING SO...

NICE.

- SNAKES CAN BE NICE.

- NO, THEY CAN'T!

SNAKES MUST INSPIRE FEAR.

THAT'S HOW WE SURVIVE.

GO AHEAD, TRY AND FRIGHTEN ME.

- WAAAH! WAH! BOO!

YAH! OOH!

GAH!

- OH, THAT'S, UH, THAT'S PRETTY BAD.

BUT...

YOU HAVE POTENTIAL.

[darkly] IF YOU'RE WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES.

[dramatic musical surge]

- [panting]

VIPER!

WHERE ARE YOU?

THAT CREEPY COBRA MUST HAVE BRAINWASHED HER.

AND MY STUPID COMMENTS PROBABLY DIDN'T HELP.

DUMB! DUMB! DUMB!

HUH?

- SO, ARE YOU READY TO HELP ME?

- I AM.

- READY TO RESTORE JUSTICE, PEACE, AND FREEDOM

THROUGHOUT THE LAND

FOR SNAKES EVERYWHERE?

- YES!

HOW DO WE DO IT?

- BY DRIVING EVERY TWO-LEGGER IN THE VALLEY MAD.

- I--HUH?

- MY BITE INSTILLS TERROR.

BUT IT WEARS OFF EVENTUALLY.

BUT IF I MIX THAT VENOM WITH MU TONG ROOT,

THEN THE EFFECT BECOMES PERMANENT.

MADNESS WILL REIGN THROUGHOUT THE TWO-LEGGERS.

[shouting] IN THE CHAOS...

[darkly] WE SHALL SEIZE THE POWER

THAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS.

- BUT--BUT HOW COULD YOU HAVE ENOUGH VENOM FOR THAT?

- I HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH HIDDEN AWAY

IN A SECRET LOCATION,

AND YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME DELIVER IT

INTO THE VALLEY'S WATER SUPPLY.

- BUT...

- YOU'D PREFER TO GO BACK TO THE TWO-LEGGERS,

WITH THEIR HATE AND FEAR

AND JOKES AT YOUR EXPENSE?

- [sighs]

- VIPER? WHERE ARE YOU?

- IT'S TIME TO DECIDE, LITTLE SISTER.

ARE YOU A SNAKE...

OR AREN'T YOU?

- VIPER!

OH, WHAT A RELIEF.

I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE DUMB THINGS I SAID.

- PO.

- LOOK, YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE THAT SCALY LOSER.

YOU'RE ONE OF US.

NOW LET'S CATCH THAT CREEPY COBRA

AND LOCK HIM UP FOR GOOD.

VIPER?

[screams]

VIPER! YOU...

BIT ME.

[groans]

- [giggling] WELCOME BACK TO THE FAMILY...

LITTLE SISTER.

- [groans] - [evil laugh]

THAT WAS COLD! RUTHLESS!

I LOVE IT!

- [grunts] - NOTHING CLEVER TO SAY NOW, PO?

NO STUPID SNAKE JOKE?

- [groans]

- [chuckling] OH, YOU ARE BAD.

I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU, LITTLE SISTER.

- YOU LOSE, PANDA. WE WIN.

- VERY EXCITING, FOLKS.

WE'RE MINUTES AWAY FROM OPENING THE SLUICE GATE.

WATER FOR EVERYONE!

[cheers and applause]

[tense music]

*

- NO SIGN OF FU-XI.

- PERHAPS PO AND VIPER HAVE ALREADY CAUGHT UP TO HIM.

- WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T?

- YOU'RE NOT A "TEA CUP'S HALF FULL" KIND OF GUY,

ARE YOU?

- OH, THEY'RE SO PROUD

OF THIS THING THEY'VE BUILT.

BUT ONE DRINK FROM THEIR NEW WATER SUPPLY

AND THE ENTIRE VALLEY WILL BELONG TO THE SERPENTS!

- POISON THE WATER SUPPLY?

AND YOU'RE GONNA LET HIM?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

AAH! [grunts]

[clank]

- HERE IT IS--

MY FEAR TOXIN.

[lid clanks]

NOW TO ADD THE MU TONG ROOT.

- NO!

- YAH!

- [screams, groans]

- WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

FINISH HIM! - HUH?

- I WARNED YOU, PO.

- VIPER, THIS ISN'T YOU!

- YOU'VE HAD THIS COMING FOR A LONG TIME NOW.

- YAH!

- HUH?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- SORRY, FU-XI.

YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ENDS NOW.

- VIPER! HA! I KNEW IT!

YOU'RE NOT ALL EVIL AND NASTY.

- SHIFU SENT ME TO UNCOVER FU-XI'S PLAN.

I HAD TO FIND THE HIDDEN VENOM BEFORE I COULD MAKE MY MOVE.

- BUT YOU BIT HIM.

I SAW YOU.

- PARALYZING SHOULDER PINCH.

I'D NEVER BITE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS.

- TRAITOR!

- PO!

- GYAH!

[creaking]

[grunting fiercely]

[both grunt]

- [screams]

HA!

[gasps] OH.

- I TRUSTED YOU, AND YOU BETRAYED ME!

- OH, DARN.

[tree trunk creaks, cracks]

[all screaming]

[both grunting]

- AHH!

WAH!

- DON'T LET THE VENOM SPILL IN THE WATER!

[both grunting]

- [roars] - OOH!

[grunting]

- [chuckles]

- [chomps] - AAH!

[grunts] - AAH!

- [grunts] - WAAH!

WOAH.

[yells]

HEY!

- NYAH!

- PO! - [screams]

[gasps] - THE VENOM!

[burbling]

- [screams]

- PO!

[grunts] AAH!

- [grunts savagely] [tail whips]

[evil laugh]

- CUPS READY, FOLKS.

WHEN THE WATER COMES THROUGH,

LET'S TAKE A BIG DRINK TO CELEBRATE.

[all cheering]

- [grunts]

- NO! CAN'T LET THE WATER REACH THE VILLAGE!

[both grunting]

- [grunting] [log creaking]

- YOU'RE MINE.

- OH! COME ON! COME ON! [log crackling]

[grunts]

[both screaming]

[water rushes]

- LET THE WATER FLOW!

[all cheering]

[disappointed groans]

- FU-XI MUST HAVE WRECKED THE AQUEDUCT.

- I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT.

- [groans]

WHAT HAPPENED?

MY HEAD WENT ALL LOOPY. [laughs]

VIPER!

VIPER?

VIPER!

[gasps]

VIPER!

[grunts]

VIPER, SPEAK TO ME.

PLEASE.

- [weakly] I-I'M SORRY I HAD TO TRICK YOU, PO.

IT WAS THE ONLY WAY.

- BUT YOU SAVED EVERYONE.

DON'T KNOW ABOUT FU-XI, THOUGH.

OH!

- I WOULD HAVE SHARED MY KINGDOM WITH YOU.

- HURTING OTHERS

DOESN'T FIX THE HURT THAT'S BEEN DONE TO YOU.

FORGET YOUR HATE.

BE THE HERO YOU ONCE WERE.

- HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE THE TWO-LEGGERS OVER ME?

ESPECIALLY THAT...PANDA.

HE HATES ALL SNAKES.

- WHA-HA!

NOT REALLY. JUST YOU.

VIPER! - YAH!

- HUH?

- YAH! - [screaming]

OOH!

[babbles]

[body hits ground]

[light music]

*

- NICE WORK, MASTER VIPER.

- THANK YOU.

- YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KEEP ME IN THE DARK.

IT'S NOT LIKE I WOULD HAVE SAID THE WRONG THING

AND BLOWN IT AND-- YEAH, I GUESS I SEE YOUR POINT.

- LOOK! IT'S VIPER!

- SHE SAVED EVERYONE FROM THAT TERRIBLE COBRA!

[all cheering]

- I LOVE YOU, VIPER.

- OH, I LOVE YOU TOO.

- I'M SORRY I WAS SUCH A JERK, VIPER.

BUT I HOPE NOW YOU REALIZE

JUST HOW MUCH EVERYONE CARES FOR YOU.

- I DO.

I JUST FEEL BADLY FOR FU-XI.

HE WAS A GREAT AND NOBLE SOUL ONCE.

- YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT SNAKES.

[silence]

UH...THEY'RE FANTASTIC.

AM I RIGHT? GIVE IT UP.

[screams]

I HAD THAT COMING.

[groans]