Original subtitles

- WA-CHA! HIYA!

- AND NOW DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA:

LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.

[gong rings]

- * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *

[scatting]

* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *

* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *

* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *

* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *

OOH! AHH! YAH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *

* AND MASTER THE SKILLS

* OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *

* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE

* PROTECT THE VALLEY SOMETHING SOMETHING *

* SOMETHING SOMETHING ALIVE *

* KUNG FU PANDA

* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS

SWEET!

- [breathes heavily]

[grunts]

OOF!

[panicked grunts]

[screams]

[gasps]

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

- HA, GOTCHA!

- [sighs]

THIS GAME'S MORE BORING THAN

MY AUNTY CHU'S ACUPUNCTURE STORIES.

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO SLOW AROUND HERE?

- BECAUSE THERE HAVEN'T BEEN ANY VILLAINS SIGHTED IN WEEKS.

- WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT.

I WISH SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN; ANYTHING.

- PO, WHAT'S GOING ON.

- NOT MUCH.

EXCEPT THAT THIS WAS DELIVERED

THIS MORNING BY SPECIAL MESSENGER TO YOURS TRULY.

- THE ESTEEMED GENERAL TSIN REQUESTS A PRIVATE AUDIENCE

WITH THE DRAGON WARRIOR AT HIS COUNTRY ESTATE!

- MY HERO.

- WOW, THE LEGENDARY GENERAL TSIN

WANTS TO SEE PO?

- WHAT?

- JEALOUS?

- I DON'T GET JEALOUS.

- SHE GETS EVEN.

- ALL PACKED, MASTER PO.

- I HOPE YOU REALIZE WHAT AN HONOR THIS IS.

- YOU KIDDING?

GENERAL TSIN IS ONE OF MY IDOLS.

HE'S ONE OF THE MOST BODACIOUSLY AWESOME WARRIORS

IN THE HISTORY OF CHINA.

HERO IN THE BATTLE OF SHIN HUAN;

DELIVERER OF THE SIEGE OF CHOU LUNG;

DESTROYER OF THE HUN IN THAT WAR WHERE THE HUNS GOT DESTROYED.

BUT WITH NO ENEMIES LEFT TO FIGHT, HE RETIRED.

TRAGICALLY, DRAMATICALLY,

WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN.

UNTIL NOW!

BY ME.

- PO, THE GENERAL IS A MAJOR BENEFACTOR

OF THE JADE PALACE.

WE COUNT ON HIS SUPPORT.

- I KNOW.

I GOTTA MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.

I GOTTA SHOW HIM I'M GENERAL TSIN-WORTHY.

I GOTTA BRING IT.

- [laughs]

HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT?

- I RECOMMEND NOT GOING.

- ARE YOU PLANNING ON GIVING HIM

ONE OF THESE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS?

- NO...

NO.

NO, NO.

[chuckles] DON'T WORRY.

I'LL SHOW HIM I'M WORTHY 'CAUSE I GOT

A HERO'S HEART RIGHT HERE IN MY--

[pants rip]

PANTS?

PO'S WARRIOR JOURNAL, DAY ONE.

TRUDGED THROUGH MUD, SCALED HILLS, FORGED MIGHTY TORRENTS.

BRAVELY, I MARCHED ON WITH MIGHTY STEPS.

THEN I GOT A CHARLEY HORSE.

OW!

SO I HIRED A RICKSHAW, ATE COOKIES, AND FELL ASLEEP.

[snores]

IN THE END, I REACHED MY GOAL.

THE FORTRESS OF GENERAL TSIN.

MY DESTINY AWAITED.

OMINOUSLY, MENACINGLY, FEARFULFULLY.

[grunts]

- UH, CAN I GO NOW?

- OH, RIGHT. [chuckles]

SORRY.

OKAY, PO.

TIME TO SHOW THIS GUY HOW TOUGH AND FEARLESS YOU ARE.

- WHAT?

- GAH!

[screams]

[all growl]

[whimpers]

IF THIS IS A BAD TIME,

I COULD COME BACK LATER.

- STAND DOWN, MEN.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE BAGGED.

- GENERAL TSIN!

HI, THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

AND PAINFUL.

- FOR THE LOVE OF LYCHEE NUTS,

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

- SIR, I'M THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

REPORTING FOR DINNER, OR WHATEVER.

BRUNCH IS GOOD TOO.

- CUT HIM DOWN.

- [groans]

THANK YOU.

- SO YOU'RE THE DRAGON WARRIOR?

- YES, SIR.

MY FRIENDS CALL ME PO.

YOU CAN TOO.

HINT, HINT.

- SNAP IT SHUT, SOLDIER.

STAND UP.

EYES FRONT.

SHOULDERS BACK.

SUCK IN THAT GUT.

SUCK IT IN, TUBBY.

SUCK, SUCK, SUCK!

- I'M SUCKING, I'M SUCKING!

- YOU'RE NO WARRIOR.

YOU'RE A SOFT, SIMPERING, WHINY LITTLE PANDA CUB.

- OKAY, UH, THAT'S A LITTLE HURTFUL.

- LANCES.

- WAIT, NO, I GOT A TICKET!

A GOLDEN TICKET, IT'S--IT'S RIGHT, UH...

SOMEWHERE. [chuckles]

- [growls]

- WA-TAI!

[grunting]

- OOF!

- WA-TA!

GOT IT.

HUH?

[nervous chuckle]

UH...

- [laughs]

THAT'S THE WARRIOR SPIRIT.

NICE MOVES, SON. - OOH!

- A LITTLE TEST THERE.

COME ON, LET'S GET SOME CHOW.

AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME RID CHINA OF EVIL.

- YES!

[eats noisily]

- I'LL TELL YOU, DRAGON WARRIOR,

CHINA'S NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE.

- I KNOW. IT'S BEEN SO DAMP LATELY.

MMM, AMAZING DIM SUM, BY THE WAY.

- LOOK AROUND.

EVIL IS EVERYWHERE.

GOATS CONTROL THE MEDIA.

EVEN THE FOOD WE EAT IS FILLED WITH TOXIC POISONS.

[angry grunts]

- IS THIS ANOTHER, UH, TEST?

HE ASKED, RATHER HOPEFULLY.

- WELL DONE.

YOU CAN SEE THE TOXINS FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, CAN'T YOU?

I REMEMBER THIS ONE TIME WITH MINISTER CHO LI.

WELL DONE.

I LIKE YOU, DRAGON WARRIOR.

- I LIKE YOU TOO, GENERAL.

- YOU GOT THE SPIRIT.

YOU GOT THE FIRE.

YOU GOT THE SMELL OF BURNT BAMBOO ON A WET SATURDAY.

- IS THAT...GOOD?

- GENERAL, HUNDUN HAS BEEN SIGHTED ON THE PROPERTY.

- HUNDUN THE RHINO, HERE?

- IT'S GO TIME, SOLDIER.

- WOW.

SWEET.

CLOSET.

- I'VE COLLECTED RARE WEAPONS

FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.

LIKE THIS ONE.

[explosion]

I CALL IT MR. KABOOM.

- CAN'T TALK.

SO AWESOME.

- YOU UP FOR THIS, DRAGON WARRIOR?

- GENERAL, US ROUGH, TOUGH WARRIORS OF THE JADE PALACE

HAVE A SAYING:

[explosion]

[nervous laugh]

UH... [growls]

KA KAW!

KA KAW--MMPH.

- KEEP IT DOWN, DRAGON WARRIOR.

STEALTH IS EVERYTHING.

- DON'T WORRY, GENERAL.

HE'S MINE.

UM, [chuckles]

SORRY, I SORT OF BROKE YOUR WEAPON THERE.

- TO THE PURE WARRIOR, ANYTHING CAN BE A WEAPON.

- NICELY DONE, GENERAL.

BUT YOU EVER SEEN THIS ONE?

BOOYAH!

- [laughs] ATTA BOY.

I KNEW YOU WERE RIGHT FOR THIS.

[sniffs]

I SMELL SOMETHING.

RHINO MUSK. - EWW.

HE'S CLOSE.

THINK YOU CAN TAKE HIM?

- THINK?

I DON'T THINK.

I JUST...MULL THINGS OVER A LITTLE BIT

AND THEN, UH...

LET'S BAG US A RHINO!

- GO GET HIM.

- KI-YAH!

- YOU, WHERE IS THE BAKERY?

- [whimpers]

I...WHAT?

- THE BAKERY?

I RECEIVED THIS COUPON FOR FREE PLUM PIE.

I LOVE PLUM PIE LIKE A CIRCLE OF PLUM LOVE

GREETING IT'S RHINO MOUTH IN EATING THAT I DO!

- I DON'T KNOW.

- WHAT IS IT?

IS IT A STORY OR A SONG TITLE?

HOW MANY WORDS?

- THE RHINO'S COMING, SO HIDE.

- HEY!

I'M HERE TO CLAIM MY FREE PIE,

WHICH WILL BE FREE AND REQUIRING NO COMPENSATION.

A PIE!

- WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?

- I LURED HIM HERE WITH A FAKE COUPON.

RHINOS CAN'T RESIST PIE.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LURED HIM?

AFTER HE COMMITTED A CRIME?

- CRIME? WHAT CRIME?

I LURED HIM HERE SO I COULD HUNT HIM.

- HUNT HIM?

LIKE "HUNT HIM" HUNT HIM?

- AFFIRMATIVE.

HUNT HIM FOR SPORT.

THAT'S WHAT I DO.

- UM, IS THIS ANOTHER TEST?

'CAUSE IF HUNDUN HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG

THEN HUNTING HIM IS, WHAT'S THE WORD?

HMM--WRONG!

- IS THIS YOUR WAY OF ANGLING FOR THE FIRST SHOT AT HIM?

GO GET HIM, DRAGON WARRIOR.

- BUT I...

- GO GET HIM!

[snorts]

WELL, GO ON, GO ON, GO ON.

- COME ON, PANDA.

NOW, BEFORE HE RUNS AWAY ALL SCARED.

- TEST OR NOT, I CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN.

- HUH?

PO!

- YOU SPOOKED HIM.

- UH, I'LL GET HIM, GENERAL.

WAIT HERE.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OF COURSE, PIE.

DID YOU GET MY PIES?

- NO, WAIT, WAIT, HUNDUN.

YOU'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

THIS GUY'S AFTER YOUR HIDE.

LITERALLY.

- DON'T TRY TO BAMBOOZLE ME WITH

YOUR SOFT TALKING OF WHISPERED PUZZLEMENT.

I WANT MY PLUM PIE.

WHICH IS ROUND.

AND PIE-LIKE!

- GET DOWN, PO.

- PIE ROBBER!

- WAY TO WEAR HIM DOWN, SOLDIER.

COME ON, YOU HORN-PLATED BOOTLICKER.

- [enraged yell]

[both grunting]

- HUNDUN, YOU'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF--UH-OH.

YOU HAVE TO RUN, I'M TRYING TO--

- AAH!

- SERIOUSLY, YOU-- [sighs]

- OOF!

[grunts]

- WELL, I'LL BE DIPPED IN HOT MUSTARD.

YOU DID IT, DRAGON WARRIOR.

- YEAH, I GUESS I DID.

GREAT HUNT.

BRACING.

- OH, HE'S STILL KICKING.

- UH, LISTEN, THIS HAS BEEN FUN, REALLY,

BUT, UH, WHY DON'T I TAKE IT FROM HERE?

I'LL GET HUNDUN TO CHOR GHOM PRISON FOR, UH, TRESPASSING.

- CHOR GHOM?

NONSENSE.

WE'LL PUT HIM IN WITH THE OTHERS.

- OH, WELL, WELL, UH--

OTHERS?

- I STORE THEM HERE FOR SAFEKEEPING.

IT'S THE FINEST COLLECTION IN CHINA, BY THE WAY.

- [gasps]

SCORPION!

TEMUTAI?

OH...FUNG AND GARY--UH, GAH-RI!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THEM?

- I USED THE POWDER OF THE ZOU CHOW PLANT

TO PLACE THEM IN A DEEP SLEEP.

THEY'RE AWAKE, BUT COMPLETELY UNABLE TO MOVE.

HOW ABOUT THAT, NEAT, HUH?

- [screams]

- YEAH, I KNOW.

THE EYE THING'S KINDA CREEPY.

- OH...LOOK AT THE HOURGLASS.

I...REALLY SHOULD BE GOING AND,

UH, LET YOU GET BACK TO BEING CRAZY.

[yelps]

- DRAGON WARRIOR, I ASSURE YOU

I AM COMPLETELY SANE.

NOW PUT THIS COPPER WOK ON YOUR HEAD.

IT'LL KEEP OUT THE WIGGLING SKULL CRACK VIBRATORIES.

- 'KAY...

- PREPARE THE SPECIMEN.

[gas hissing]

- GENERAL, WAIT.

- [laughs]

[laughs]

NOW HE'S COMPLETELY HELPLESS.

AND HE REALLY PULLS THE ROOM TOGETHER, DON'T HE?

- SO, JUST TO RECAP, YOU LURE DANGEROUS VILLAINS HERE

TO FREEZE THEM FOR FUN?

- SOON, I'LL HAVE ALL THE EVIL IN CHINA LOCKED AWAY RIGHT HERE.

[laughs]

- [nervous laugh]

- [laughs] - [laughs]

- [laughs]

- [forced laugh]

- AH, IT'S GOOD TO LAUGH.

- SORRY, GENERAL.

- YA!

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR TINY WITS?

- SIR, I'M SORRY.

I WANTED TO WIN YOUR RESPECT.

BUT, RESPECTFULLY, YOU'RE KINDA BONKERS.

THIS IS WRONG.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

- OH, I SEE.

THANK YOU FOR OPENING MY EYES.

I WAS WRONG.

ABOUT YOU!

YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM!

YOU'RE A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME, BOY.

BUT ON THE UPSIDE, YOU'RE GONNA LOOK JUST GREAT ON MY WALL.

- [gulps]

- YOU'RE MINE, DRAGON WARRIOR.

- GENERAL, DON'T.

I'M ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS.

GOOD!

- HA, THAT'S JUST WHAT THE

VOICES IN MY HEAD WANT ME TO BELIEVE!

- [growls]

HA, WHO'S THE HUNTER AND WHO'S

THE HUNTED HUNTEE GUY THING NOW?

- YA!

- [yelps] - PEPPER JUICE.

- AH, STING-Y!

OOH, IT BURNS, OOH!

OOF!

- GET UP AND RUN, BOY.

- [whimpers]

[breathes heavily]

[whimpering]

[screams]

[panicked breathing]

[screams]

- NOWHERE TO RUN, PANDA.

- IMPENDING PAIN! IMPENDING PAIN!

[pants]

I MADE IT.

I'M ALIVE.

I GOTTA GET BACK TO THE JADE PALACE.

I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

[groans]

- THE SELFISH DRAGON WARRIOR.

SAVING HIMSELF WHILE OTHERS ARE LEFT UNSAVED.

THROUGH HIS NOT SAVING THEM.

- HUNDUN?

I--I BARELY GOT OUT OF THERE ALIVE.

- AND THE REST OF US?

THOSE THAT ARE CURRENTLY INNOCENT?

YOU ARE NO WARRIOR.

YOU ARE SELFISH.

AND WHATEVER IS THE OPPOSITE OF A WARRIOR.

[echoing] THAT'S YOU.

- WHAT?

[frustrated sigh]

BRAIN-TRAUMA HUNDUN IS RIGHT.

I CAN'T LEAVE THOSE GUYS THERE.

I GOTTA GO BACK AND HELP THEM.

[both growl]

[screams and grunts]

- OKAY, BAD GUYS.

FOR SOME WEIRD REASON, I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU.

OKAY...

IT'S RIGHTY TIGHTY, LEFTY, UH, WHAT IS IT?

LEFTY...

- LOSER.

- NO, IT'S NOT "LOSER."

IT'S LEFTY, UM...

[screams]

OKAY, LOSER.

OOF!

- GOTCHA NOW.

[laughs]

- GENERAL, I CAME HERE BECAUSE YOU WERE A HERO.

- WERE?

- YES, BUT "WERE" COULD BE "ARE"

IF--IF--IF--AH, YOU'RE ACTING CRAZY, GENERAL.

THIS ISN'T THE WAY OF A HERO.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, THIS IS.

[gas pumps]

- [laughs]

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT GREEN GAS?

WAIT, GREEN GAS?

- I SWITCHED THE HOSES.

- BUT THAT'LL WAKE THEM UP,

YOU RANCID DUMPLING.

[grunting, coughing]

- YOU.

YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO US

BY PAYING US FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

TO US!

all: [menacing cries]

- FINE.

I AIN'T RUNNING.

DO YOU WORST, EVIL-MONGERS.

AAH!

- GET HIM!

- [laughs]

- [grunts]

- [gulps]

- FUNG.

[both grunting]

- [laughs] WHA--?

- [grunts]

OOF!

[groans] THAT ALL--THAT ALL YOU GOT?

[sighs]

I SPRINKLE PUNKS LIKE YOU IN

MY...STEAMED CUSTARD...PIE.

- MMM, PIE.

AAH!

- YA!

GET AWAY FROM THE GENERAL.

HE'S A GREAT LEADER,

WHO'S JUST GONE A LITTLE NUTTY.

OKAY, A LOT NUTTY.

OKAY, I'M TALKING CERTIFIABLY WHACKED OUT LOONEY--

- I THINK THEY GET THE IDEA.

- RIGHT.

NOW, BACK OFF, ALL OF YOU.

I'M AN EXPERT AT USING THIS-- [screams]

OOF!

- THANK YOU, DRAGON WARRIOR.

GOODBYE!

- THIS IS NOT OVER.

BECAUSE IT WILL CONTINUE.

- NICE WORK, DRAGON WARRIOR.

DESPITE LETTING MY LIFE'S WORK RUN THROUGH A HOLE IN THE WALL,

WE MADE QUITE A TEAM.

EXCEPT FOR YOU BEING TOTALLY EVIL AND ALL.

- AND EXCEPT FOR YOU BEING AS CRAZY AS A BIG BAG OF CUCKOO.

- [groans]

TOUCHE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?

FREEZE ME LIKE I DID THEM?

HOIST ME WITH MY OWN PETARD?

- DON'T HAVE A...PETARD HANDY,

BUT, UH, I DO HAVE ANOTHER IDEA.

- THEY CAN'T KEEP ME IN HERE FOREVER, PO.

YOU'LL SEE.

CHINA NEEDS ME.

WHEN I GET OUT, I'LL BUILD A HUGE BOAT FROM...

NOODLES AND JAM...AND STUFF.

[laughs]

- 'KAY, BYE.

[yelps]

- WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD, PO.

YOU'VE IMPRISONED THE JADE PALACE'S BIGGEST CONTRIBUTOR.

- TRUE. THINGS COULD BE WORSE.

- WELL, IT WAS A BIT CRAZY TO LET LOOSE

THE MOST DANGEROUS CRIMINALS IN CHINA.

- ME, CRAZY?

SHIFU, I'M THE SANEST GUY YOU'LL EVER MEET.

NOW LET'S GO GET THEM!