Original subtitles

- [grunting]

- AND NOW...

DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.

[gong rings]

- * HEAR THE LEGENDS

* OF THE KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP

* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *

* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP

* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *

OOH! AH! YA!

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *

* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS

* AND HE FIGHTS WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE *

* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN' *

* SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN', ALIVE *

OOH! AH! UH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS

SWEET.

- [grunts]

- OH!

- [grunting]

YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT MY FINGERS,

EVIL FINGER-DEFEATERS!

EH! OH!

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. [sighs]

YOU GUYS JUST WAIT TILL IT'S YOUR TURN.

[chuckles] YOU'LL NEVER FIGURE IT OUT.

- ALREADY DID... WHEN I WAS FIVE.

- WHAT?

- YEAH. US, TOO.

- YEAH, I ALREADY DID THAT. - US, TOO.

- [whimpers] AH!

HUH! OH.

AWW, YOU GUYS HAVE DONE EVERYTHING!

YOU HAVE ACTION FIGURES, YOU HAVE TRADING CARDS.

TIGRESS, THEY NAMED A STRAIN OF RICE AFTER YOU...

"ANGRY RICE."

YOU EVEN HAVE FAN CLUBS.

I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT.

- YOU HAVE A FAN CLUB.

- WHA?

- YEAH, I SAW THEM DOWN BY THE NOODLE SHOP.

- OH, I GOTTA MEET 'EM.

WE COULD DRESS ALIKE AND--

AND FIGURE OUT A SECRET HANDSHAKE!

- NOT SO FAST, PANDA.

THERE STILL REMAINS THE MATTER OF THE HERO'S DILEMMA.

- UGH. I'M A HERO.

SO I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THIS. - WHOA!

- CAREFUL! - WHOA!

WHOA, HEY!

- WATCH IT! - GAH!

OW! OOH! OW. OOH.

MUST--OW! SEE--OW!

FANS--OOH!

OOH. OW. AH!

OW! OW!

OH! HUH!

[grunts]

WAH!

[panting]

WHY ARE THINGS HARD?

AH!

- PO!

YOUR CARELESSNESS ALMOST RELEASED

THE DEADLY MONGOLIAN FIST DEMON.

- [gasps] THAT SOUNDS AWESOME.

- IT IS, IN FACT, THE OPPOSITE OF AWESOME.

THIS DEMON NEARLY DESTROYED THE VALLEY CENTURIES AGO.

- YOU SHOULD PUT SOME SORT OF HUGE FENCE

WITH SPIKES AROUND IT, SO NO IDIOT CAN COME IN

AND KNOCK IT OV--

OH, RIGHT. [chuckles]

YOU ASKED ME TO DO THAT EARLIER, DIDN'T YOU?

[grunting]

- PO, THE REASON THIS IS CALLED "THE HERO'S DILEMMA" IS:

IT SEEMS LIKE BRUTE STRENGTH SHOULD SOLVE THE PROBLEM, BUT--

- YOU LOST ME.

WHOA!

- IT IS WHEN YOU QUIT STRUGGLING THAT YOU--

- I HAVE A FAN CLUB! BYE!

FENCE. RIGHT. [chuckles]

DO IT WHEN I GET BACK. BYE!

[panting]

FAN CLUB. FAN CLUB. FAN CLUB!

[gasps] MY FAN CLUB!

WOW.

THEY NAILED IT.

- WHO DARES APPROACH THE DRAGON'S DEN?

- COOL.

IT IS I, THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

- RIGHT. GET LOST, CHAN-GOO!

- IT'S NOT CHAN-GOO.

IT'S REALLY THE DRAGON WARRIOR!

- DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE AND PUNCH YOU, LOSER.

- IT'S REALLY ME.

- YEAH? THEN ANSWER THIS.

WHAT KIND OF BROAD AXE DID THE DRAGON WARRIOR USE

TO RELEASE THE LOG ROLL AT THUNDER HILL?

- UH, IT WASN'T A BROAD AXE.

IT WAS A TWO-HANDED ZHANMADAO SWORD

OF FOLDED BRONZE FORGED IN THE SHANG DYNASTY

BY ZHANG ZU JIN-LI,

THE ONE-ARMED SON OF THE WOODCHOPPER.

- IS THAT TRUE?

- I DON'T KNOW. I COULD LOOK IT UP.

- JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

[panting]

- YEAH! TAKE THAT, THOSE WHO MOCKED US!

[laughs] THE DRAGON WARRIOR IS AT OUR CLUBHOUSE!

all: PO IS THE DRAGON. HE NEVER WILL BE BEAT.

PO IS THE WARRIOR. HE'S REALLY GOOD...

AT WHAT HE...DOES.

- [gasps] I JUST TINKLED A LITTLE.

- REALLY? AGAIN?

- THAT CHEER IS REALLY AWESOME!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA RHYME "NEAT" WITH "MASSIVE PECTORALS,"

BUT YOUR WAY IS MUCH COOLER.

- ENTER, OH, MOST REVERED DRAGON WARRIOR,

KUNG FU LEGEND,

PUNCHER OF EVIL. - WHOA!

[gasps] ALL RIGHT!

AWESOME!

- I'M LAM.

- I'M CHEN. - I'M YANG.

- COOL. LAM, CHEN, YANG.

- HE SAID MY NAME! [gasps]

- SHE JUST FAINTED BECAUSE SHE'S MY FAN!

I HAVE A FAN! [sighs]

I'M TOO EXCITED TO STAY PASSED OUT.

- THIS IS YOUR CLUBHOUSE!

IS IT WHAT YOU IMAGINED?

- NO.

- [gasps]

- IT'S A HUNDRED TIMES MORE AWESOME!

[cheering]

[gasps] OW!

THIS PAINTING LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!

[cheering]

WHOA!

- [giggles]

- COOL THINGIES.

MY OWN ACTION FIGURE...

WITH AUTHENTIC BURLAP PANTS!

[excited yelling]

WHAT ELSE HAVE YA GOT?

OW!

- LEGEND HAS IT...

THAT THE GREAT AND MIGHTY DRAGON WARRIOR HIMSELF

ONCE DROPPED A NOODLE ON THIS VERY BRICK.

- [laughs nervously] WE HAD THE NOODLE,

BUT I GOT EXCITED AND I ATE IT.

[giggles]

- LET ME SEE THAT.

- TECHNICALLY, IT'S A REPRODUCTION.

BUT IT'S AN OFFICIAL REPRODUCTION

OF A COPY.

- YOU CAN'T TELL!

THIS LOOKS JUST LIKE THE REAL BRICK

I ACTUALLY DROPPED A NOODLE ON!

- I KNEW IT!

I TOLD YOU GUYS.

IT WAS WORTH THE 200 YUAN.

- YOU GUYS HANG ONTO THAT.

IT'S GONNA BE WORTH A LOT MORE SOMEDAY.

- [giggles] IT'S SO GENEROUS OF YOU,

DRAGON WARRIOR.

- AH, CALL ME PO...

THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

I HAVE A FAN CLUB!

WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO DO FIRST?

- WASH DISHES!

- TELL US THE STORY OF HOW YOU BEAT TAI LUNG.

- [gasps] YEAH! - YEAH!

- IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT.

THEN THE NEXT NIGHT WAS CLOUDLESS.

AND THAT'S WHEN I SAW TAI LUNG FOR THE FIRST TIME.

- OH! - THAT'S PRETTY AWESOME.

- MONKEY. MONKEY!

MONKEY, YOU GOT ANYTHING COOL

THAT MAYBE I COULD SHOW MY FANS DOWN AT THE FAN CLUB?

- SURE, PO.

HOW ABOUT THIS TEACUP?

- COOL.

- HEY, ARE THESE SHIFU'S CEREMONIAL NUNCHUCKS?

YOU CAN'T TAKE THOSE.

- WELL, HE'S NOT USIN' THEM.

- OR THESE ANCIENT BRASS FIGHT BELLS?

- WELL, THEY'RE JUST, LIKE, SITTING THERE.

- OR...MANTIS?

- NOT COOL, MAN.

- I'LL JUST, UH-- OKAY, BYE.

[door slams]

LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU GUYS!

- YEAH!

- IT'S MY OLD THROWING STAR.

- WHOA.

- [grunts] - IT'S SLIPPERY.

- I USED IT TO BUTTER MY TOAST.

YOU GUYS READY FOR THE DRAGON WARRIOR

TO TAKE YOU ON YOUR EXCLUSIVE DRAGON TOUR-IER?

all: YEAH! - COOL.

I'LL EVEN TELL YOU THE TAI LUNG STORY AGAIN ON THE WAY.

- YA! [laughs]

- OKAY. WHAT DO WE GOT?

OH!

- [excited laughter]

- RIGHT HERE.

THIS VERY SPOT.

I WAGED BATTLE AGAINST THE MIGHTY RHINO, HUNDUN!

I WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE, AND HE WAS LIKE,

"YOU BETTER NOT--"

- YOU THINK YOU MIGHT FIGHT HIM HERE AGAIN?

- YEAH, DO IT! - RIGHT NOW!

- [chuckles] WELL, I CAN'T,

'CAUSE HE'S KIND OF IN JAIL.

- OH.

- OH, OH, OH!

THIS IS AWESOME.

SEE THAT DENT IN THE STREET?

MY HEAD MADE THAT

AFTER THE BARBARIAN HORDE THREW ME OFF A ROOF!

[excited screams]

SEE, MY HEAD STILL FITS.

- THAT'S SO COOL.

MAKE ANOTHER DENT!

- YEAH, DO IT!

- RIGHT NOW!

- [chuckles] NO, I CAN'T JUST HIT MY HEAD.

- THAT'S DISAPPOINTING.

- OH, OH, OH! OVER THERE!

THIS IS WHERE I CRUSHED

THE FAMOUS TERRACOTTA WARLORDS INTO POWDER.

- [screams] - WE WANNA SEE THAT!

- YEAH, DO IT! - RIGHT NOW!

- WELL, I-I CAN'T.

THEY'RE--THEY'RE POWDER.

- FIGHT SOMETHING! - YEAH, FIGHT THAT GUY!

all: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

- I-I-I-I CAN'T JUST START A FIGHT WITH SOME POOR GUY.

- OH, THAT'S A BUMMER.

- I'LL TELL YOU THE STORY AGAIN!

AND THEN HE WAS LIKE,

"YOU CAN'T BEAT ME. I'M TAI LUNG."

AND THEN-- AND THEN, I SAID--

Lam, Chen, and Yang: "SKIDDOOSH."

- CLOSE, BUT THE ACCENT IS ON THE "SKID," NOT THE "OOSH."

- UM, YEAH.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY EVER GONNA DO ANYTHING,

LIKE, EXCITING DRAGON-WARRIOR STUFF?

- UH, YEAH.

I MEAN, I'VE GOT TRAINING AND LAUNDRY,

AND I GOT SOME STUFF I GOTTA MEMORIZE.

- NO, COOL STUFF.

LIKE-- LIKE FIGHTING SOMEONE.

- YEAH, DO THAT!

- ONLY, THINGS HAVE BEEN KINDA LOW-KEY LATELY.

- OH...MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST PACK IT IN FOR TODAY.

- COOL. SAME TIME TOMORROW?

- UH, I THINK I'M BUSY TOMORROW. UH--

- UH, YEAH. I-I-I'M BUSY.

- YEAH, I'M GONNA BE BUSY WITH, UM, SOME--

SOME STUFF AND THINGS.

- NOT A PROBLEM!

HEY, THE WEEKEND IT IS.

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS BRIGHT AND EARLY.

- SEE YA. - SURE.

- [laughs nervously] SOUNDS GOOD.

- HA! I ALMOST FORGOT MY DRAGON-WARRIOR EARS!

CAN'T DISAPPOINT MY FANS.

[chuckles] NO.

- [mocking] "LOOK, I'M PO, THE DRAGON WARRIOR,

AND I'M SCARED OF DUCKS." [laughs]

[laughter]

- WHAT A LAME HERO!

HE NEVER HITS ANYTHING.

- YEAH, I MEAN, EVEN I WOULD PUNCH A DUCK.

- [giggles]

[somber music]

*

- OW.

- [sighs]

- HEY, PO.

WHY THE ROUND FACE?

[chuckles] GET IT?

I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY "LONG FACE," BUT I--

- I LOST MY FAN CLUB!

- WHAT? HOW?

- BECAUSE I'M LAME.

OW! PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.

[groans] I STINK AS A HERO.

[sighs] EVER SINCE I WAS A KID,

I WOULD READ THE ANCIENT ART OF KUNG FU

AND DREAM ABOUT BEING LIKE ONE OF THOSE HEROES.

MASTER FLYING RHINO,

MASTER LI LING OF THE THOUSAND FISTS!

- A LOT OF THOSE GUYS MAINLY JUST KEPT THE PEACE, SO--

- I DON'T CARE.

MY FAN CLUB HATES ME

BECAUSE I DIDN'T HIT ANYTHING ALL WEEK.

- I GET IT.

YOUR FIRST FAN CLUB!

YOU WANNA SHOW OFF.

THERE'S NO BAD GUYS TO FIGHT RIGHT NOW.

- YEAH. OR PEOPLE TO SAVE,

OR DISASTERS TO PREVENT,

OR A--

- PO?

ARE YOU GETTING ONE OF THOSE IDEAS

THAT SHIFU TELLS YOU TO IGNORE?

- WHAT? PFFT! NO.

WHAT? PFFT! RIDICULOUS.

YES.

[chuckles]

HELLO, MONGOLIAN FIST DEMON JAR.

FRIENDLY, HARMLESS DEMON JAR.

[chuckles] HOW 'BOUT I LET YOU OUT,

AND WE FIGHT A LITTLE BIT?

YOU KNOW, NO BIG DEAL.

WHAT IF YOU'VE GOT FANGS?

YOU COULD HAVE FANGS.

I COULD DO A LOOK-SEE REAL QUICK,

JUST TO DO A FANG-CHECK.

RIGHT?

NAH.

BUT-- OKAY.

PRO: I NEED TO FIGHT SOMETHING.

CON: INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS AND COULD WRECK THE VALLEY.

PRO: I WANNA?

EH, HOW BAD COULD IT BE?

[screaming]

- IT'S A DEMON! - [growls]

[screaming]

- IT'S A DEMON!

- HELP US, PO!

- YA!

- THE DRAGON WARRIOR!

- LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS TO LEARN SOME TABLE MANNERS!

[blows landing]

- [growls]

[heroic music]

[cheering]

- [growls] - [screams]

EH, CON. CON WINS.

AH!

[indistinct whispering]

[gasps]

OH, NO! OH, NO.

GO BACK IN! GO BACK IN!

NO!

- [high-pitched snarl]

[growls]

- YOU'RE TINY!

- [growls]

- AND CUTE! [chuckles]

- [growling]

- H-H-HEY, THAT'S MY STUFF!

- [growling]

- BAD DEMON! SHOO! SHOO!

- [growling]

- SHOO!

OH, NO!

- [growling]

- MAYBE THAT WASN'T THE BEST IDEA.

- [growls]

- HEY, GET OUTTA HERE!

- [growling]

- [screams]

[screams]

- HUH? - WHAT?

[suspenseful music]

- [growls]

[screaming]

[roars]

[screaming]

[screaming]

- [yelling]

- WAH! - [grunts]

- YOU'RE SAFE NOW.

- [growls]

- HERE, DEMON, DEMON, DEMON.

HERE, MONGOLIAN FIST DEMONY-WEMONY.

COME OUT, DEMON.

I HAVE A DUMPLING FOR YOU!

[chewing] I HAVE A DUMPLING FOR YOU.

I HAVE A-- [gulps]

JUST COME OUT!

- [growls] - OH, THAT'S NOT GOOD.

- AH!

- OH, NO! MONKEY!

- [grunts]

- [growls]

- WHOA! HOW'D HE GET SO HUGE?

- [growling]

- [grunts]

OOF!

- [growling]

- [gasps]

OOF! - [grunts]

- [roars]

- [yelling] - IT'S A DEMON!

- [gasps]

- IT'S A DEMON!

- [growls] - WHOA!

- [snarls] - [screaming]

- [growling]

Lam, Chen, and Yang: COOL!

- YOU GUYS WAIT HERE.

WATCH CLOSE. YOU'LL SEE SOME HITTING.

- GO GET HIM! - YEAH, DO IT!

- RIGHT NOW!

- ANYTHING FOR MY FANS.

NOW LET'S FIND OUT WHAT YOU GOT DEMON, HUH?

WHAT YOU GOT?

- [growling]

- HWAH! KI-GA!

- [roars]

- YA!

[thud]

WHOO!

EXTRA POINT!

- [cheering]

- PO IS THE DRAGON! HE WILL NEVER BE BEAT.

PO IS THE WARRIOR!

CHEE--

- [growls]

- DID YOU JUST GET BIGGER, OR DID MY EYES GET SMALLER?

- HIT HIM, DRAGON WARRIOR!

- POUND HIM, KUNG FU LEGEND, PUNCHER OF EVIL!

- [growling]

- YA!

HIYA!

YEAH!

all: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

- HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT HITTING?

Lam, Chen, and Yang: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

- [growling]

- I DON'T LIKE THIS GETTING-BIGGER THINGY.

all: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

- WAIT A MINUTE.

IF HITTING IT MAKES IT BIGGER,

THEN NOT HITTING IT--

BRING IT, DEMON!

- [growling]

- THAT'S IT!

- [growls]

- TELL ME YOU'VE GOT MORE THAN THAT!

- WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM HIM, DRAGON WARRIOR?

- AH...I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY!

SEE HOW I'M AWESOMELY AVOIDING CONFLICT?

- WHAT A RIP-OFF!

HE'S SCARED OF HIM.

- NO, I'M NOT SCARED OF HIM.

WHOA!

NO!

OOF!

- BOO!

- HE NEVER HITS ANYTHING.

- USE YOUR FIST!

USE IT FOR PUNCHING, PUNCHER OF EVIL!

- OKAY, I WILL! AH!

- [growling]

Lam, Chen, and Yang: HIT! HIT! HIT!

HIT! HIT! HIT! HIT! HIT! HIT!

HIT! HIT! HIT! HIT! HIT! HIT!

- NO.

- [snarls]

- [yells]

[grunts]

- BOO! GET OFF THE STAGE.

- COME ON. LET'S GO.

[solemn music]

*

- [grunts] - [snarls]

- I MAY HAVE LOST MY FANS, BUT I'M NOT LOSING TO YOU.

- [roars]

[growling]

- HUH! - [growling]

[thud]

[crash]

[smack]

[growling]

- [grunts] - GUYS!

A LITTLE HELP TRAPPING HIM?

I NEED A DEMON JAR!

UH...IS THAT A THING?

DO WE HAVE THOSE LYING AROUND?

- NO.

FORTUNATELY, THEY CAN BE REPAIRED FAIRLY EASILY.

NOW, PANDA.

- [growls]

- [laughs nervously]

- THAT WAS AN AWFUL LOT OF TROUBLE

JUST TO IMPRESS YOUR FANS.

I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.

[knock at door]

- WHOEVER ENTERS THE DRAGON'S--

UH, FORGET IT.

- HEY.

[sighs] LOOK, OUT THERE--

- WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT HIM?

- AW, YOU BARELY HIT HIM AT ALL!

- YOU LET HIM BEAT YOU!

- OH, DID I?

all: WHOA!

- THE MONGOLIAN FIST DEMON.

all: COOL!

- [gasps]

- YOU BEAT IT? INCREDIBLE! HOW?

Y-YOU DIDN'T EVEN HIT IT!

- BEING A HERO IS NOT ALL ABOUT HITTING.

MAYBE 10%.

AND IT'S 90% ABOUT NOT GETTING HIT.

[belches]

AND ABOUT 5% GAS.

- CAN WE KEEP THIS?

- THE MONGOLIAN FIST DEMON IS ONE THING,

BUT, AS DEFEATED BY THE DRAGON WARRIOR, WHOA!

- UH, IT'D BE, LIKE, THE CENTERPIECE

OF OUR DRAGON WARRIOR FAN CLUB.

- OH, YOU HAVE A FAN CLUB?

- YEAH.

WE'RE SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU, PO.

GUESS WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT TAKES

TO BE SO BODACIOUSLY AWESOME.

- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

AND IN THE COMING WEEKS,

I'LL SHOW YOU A FEW MORE KUNG FU SKILLS.

all: YEAH!

- STRENGTH! HIYA!

STAMINA! KEE!

AND CONTROL! GAH!

[jar shattering]

- [snarls] - OOPS.

[screaming]

- BAD DEMON! DOWN, BOY! AH! NO! AH!