Original subtitles

- [grunting]

- AND NOW DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA:

LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.

[gong rings]

- * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *

[scatting]

* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *

* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *

* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *

* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *

OOH! AHH! YAH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *

* AND MASTER THE SKILLS

* OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *

* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE

* PROTECT THE VALLEY SOMETHING SOMETHING *

* SOMETHING SOMETHING ALIVE *

OOH! YAH! UNGH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS

SWEET!

- [grunting]

[heavy thuds]

- DAD, ARE WE ALMOST THERE?

- YES. NO THANKS TO YOU.

[grunts] YOU COULD GIVE ME A HAND

WITH THIS YOU KNOW, BIAN ZAO.

- DO I HAVE TO?

- [sighs] THE ORACLE SAID

I SHOULDN'T TELL YOU WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO,

BECAUSE SELF-ESTEEM CAN'T BE OPTIMIZED

WITHOUT SUFFICIENT PERSONAL-DECISION LATITUDE.

HOWEVER, IT WOULD BE VERY NICE OF YOU

TO OFFER YOUR FATHER SOME HELP.

- BUT I DON'T HAVE TO?

- [grunts] NO!

UNBELIEVABLE!

[grunting]

[panting]

- DAD, SOME GUYS ARE HERE TO SEE YOU.

- [chewing] HEY THERE.

- LET'S DO THIS.

[grunts]

[all grunting]

[evil laugh]

[laughs] OH!

- [grunts]

OOH!

- [laughs] BEHOLD!

YOU ARE NO MATCH

FOR MY IRON CLAWS OF DOOM!

- [sighs]

- [grunts]

- OOH!

- [laughs, screams]

OOH!

- AND NOW, PANDA--

WHAT? [metallic squeaks]

BIAN ZAO, I TOLD YOU TO LUBRICATE THE CLAWS!

- NO, YOU ASKED ME IF I WOULD DO YOU A FAVOR

AND LUBRICATE THE CLAWS.

- [growls]

I HATE THIS PART.

[series of screams, crashes]

WAA! [crash]

- IT'S CHOR GHOM PRISON FOR YOU, TAOTIE.

- THAT'S JUST GREAT!

[clank]

NOW I GOTTA GO DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS?

- AWESOME JOB, GUYS.

LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING TO BE EARLY FOR MY NAP.

- UH, WHAT ABOUT HIM?

- [sighs]

- HE DIDN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING.

YOU CAN SKEDADDLE, JUNIOR.

YOU'RE FREE... TO GO.

- WHERE? - AWAY.

- FINE. - FINE.

- GREAT. - GREAT.

- PERFECT! - THAT'S WHAT I SAID!

- I'M GOING. - GO.

- GONE! - ANYWHERE YOU WANT.

- I'LL BE GONE. - JUST GO.

- HERE I GO. - GOOD.

- OH, WHATEVER, DUMPLING BOY!

- YOU'RE THE DUMPLING BOY!

[thunderclap]

[yawns]

HMM? WHAT?

- THE STORM KEEPING YOU UP TOO?

- HUH? NO.

I MEAN, YES. I MEAN, UGH!

HE'S STILL OUT THERE, TAOTIE'S KID.

- I SEE. WE'RE GOING DOWN THERE.

- SWEET! FAREWELL, SQUATTER.

FREE RIDE'S OVER, BIAN ZAO.

SHIFU, LET HIM HAVE IT.

- BIAN ZAO. - WHATEVER.

- AS THE MASTER OF THE JADE PALACE...

- HA-HA.

- I INVITE YOU TO COME INSIDE.

- BOW! YOU HEAR THAT, PAL?

YOU GOTTA--WHA-- COME INSIDE?

I'M SORRY, WE'RE DOING WHAT NOW?

- WE'RE BOUND BY TRADITION, PO.

HIS FATHER STUDIED WITH ME HERE.

AND WHILE WE MAY NOT ACCEPT TAOTIE'S ACTIONS,

WE ACCEPT HIS LEGACY-- BIAN ZAO.

[gong rings]

- [sips] - BUT HE'S A BAD GUY.

WELL, BAD-ISH.

WE CAN'T JUST HAVE HIM WALK AROUND THE JADE PALACE

WITHOUT SUPERVISION.

- INDEED.

THAT'S WHY YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF HIM.

both: WHAT?

- SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO.

MAYBE YOU CAN REFORM HIM.

- I'LL TRY, BUT HE'S PRETTY HOPELESS.

[sips]

- SO AT FIRST, I WAS LIKE,

"ME, A BABYSITTER? I'M THE DRAGON WARRIOR,

NOT THE BABY WARRIOR SITTER GUY."

THEN I THOUGHT, "BIAN ZAO AND I

ARE PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME AGE."

SO HOW OLD ARE YOU?

- 13.

- OKAY, SO WE'RE A LOT... NOT THE SAME.

ANYWAY... I SAY

LET'S MAKE A CLEAN START AND HAVE SOME FUN.

- HOW ABOUT YOU JUST PUT ME IN JAIL?

- FIRST OFF, I'M GONNA CALL YOU BZ,

'CAUSE IT'S COOL, AND YOU'RE COOL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, BZ?

- LAME.

- ALL RIGHTY, SO THERE'S THE HALL

WITH THE TRAINING EQUIPMENT YOUR DAD BUILT.

- LAME.

- AND THIS IS WHERE WE PUT ALL YOUR DAD'S MACHINES

EVERY TIME WE DEFEAT HIM.

GETTING PRETTY FULL IN HERE.

- LAME.

- SHOWERS, LATRINE, KITCHEN.

- LAME, LAME, LAME.

- IS THERE ANYTHING YOU DON'T THINK IS LAME?

- [mumbling] I DON'T KNOW.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE'RE GONNA FIND SOMETHING.

AND IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT'S UN-LAME,

IT'S THE PO-MAN.

YEAH, BZ AND THE PO-MAN, HAVING FUN, RIGHT?

RIGHT, BZ? THE BEEZMASTER?

BEEZY-WEEZY PO-POR-EEZI? HA-HA.

- I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

- BEHOLD!

- DOLLS?

- THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!

DON'T EVER CALL THEM...DOLLS!

LET ME SHOW YOU.

[Kung Fu shouts]

YOU'RE NOT PLAYING.

[Kung Fu shouts]

MORE FUN WHEN YOU PLAY.

[Kung Fu shouts]

KA!

I'M TELLING YOU, DAD, HE DOESN'T LIKE ANYTHING.

- OH, PO.

YOU USED TO HATE EVERYTHING BUT KUNG FU.

HOWEVER, THERE WAS ONE THING YOU SHOWED INTEREST IN.

- [hums]

AND...VOILA!

- BAKING?

LIKE MAKING COOKIES AND CAKES AND JUNK?

L-A-M-- [grunts]

[mumbling, swallows]

THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.

- DARN TOOTING.

PO AND I LOVED TO BAKE TOGETHER

WHEN HE WAS A BOY. [chuckles]

WE STILL DO, DON'T WE?

WHO'S A GOOD BOY? - [laughs]

- WHO'S A GOOD BOY?

- [laughs]

- OKAY, SON. TEACH HIM WELL.

BUT DON'T GIVE HIM THE MOONCAKE RECIPE.

FAMILY SECRET.

- SO YOU, LIKE, DO STUFF

WITH YOUR DAD ON PURPOSE?

- SURE. ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, YOU ONLY GET ONE DAD.

- DOES HE MAKE YOU... GO WITH HIM

WHEN HE TRIES TO CONQUER THE WORLD?

- UH, MY DAD DOESN'T REALLY CONQUER STUFF.

- MY DAD SPENDS ALL HIS TIME BUILDING MACHINES

TO DESTROY THE JADE PALACE AND, YOU KNOW, YOU.

I JUST WISH ME AND DAD COULD HANG OUT WITHOUT,

YOU KNOW, TRYING TO BLOW SOMETHING UP.

- HEY.

YOUR DAD'S GOT NOTHING BUT TIME TO HANG OUT,

NOW THAT HE'S IN JAIL.

YOU SHOULD GO VISIT HIM.

AND YOU COULD BAKE HIM A CAKE TO BREAK THE ICE!

YES!

SCORE ONE FOR THE PO-MAN. UP HIGH.

- WHATEVER.

[keys jingle]

[footsteps]

- SON? - YES.

* AND HE BAKED YOU A CAKE *

OKAY, I BAKED IT, BUT I'M GONNA TEACH HIM HOW.

- I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU, SON.

UH...

DO YOU MIND?

- OH, RIGHT.

YOU PROBABLY WANT SOME PRIVATE TIME TOGETHER.

YOU DON'T WANT SOME GUY STANDING HERE

WHILE YOU'RE TRYING TO-- - DO YOU MIND?

- I'LL JUST GO NOW.

- SO...THOSE BUFFOONS ARE TREATING YOU OKAY

AT THE JADE PALACE?

- I GUESS.

THAT LAME PANDA WANTS TO TEACH ME HOW TO BAKE.

- HUH? BAKING?

YOU KNOW, I ONCE MADE

A 30-FOOT TALL MECHANICAL CREAM PUFF

THAT SHOT FLAMING CUSTARD OUT OF ITS--

SON?

- ALL YOU EVER DO IS WORK, TALK ABOUT WORK,

WORK SOME MORE, AND THEN FIGURE OUT

WHY YOUR WORK NEVER WORKS.

IT'S-- - LAME?

YOU'RE RIGHT, SON.

BEING A HALF-CRAZED MEGALOMANIAC TAKES UP A LOT OF MY TIME.

BUT IF YOU HELP ME BREAK OUT OF HERE,

I PROMISE WE'LL HAVE SOME DECIDEDLY

NON-DIABOLICAL "US" TIME.

- PROMISE?

- PROMISE.

NOW YOU BAKE THOSE CAKES WITH THE PANDA,

THEN SNEAK ME THE PIECES OF MY IRON CLAWS OF DOOM,

AND I'LL BUST OUT OF HERE.

- THIS ISN'T JUST SOME WAY YOU CAN GO WREAK VENGEANCE

AND STUFF, IS IT?

- NOPE, JUST YOU AND ME,

DOING REGULAR DAD-SON STUFF.

LAUGH WITH ME, SON.

HA-HA!

- [begrudging laugh]

[keys jingle]

[door creaks]

- HEY, THERE...YOU.

UM, SETTLING IN OKAY?

- YES, SIR.

- [sighs]

- SO...ARE YOU READY TO EMBARK

ON THE AWESOME ADVENTURE THAT IS BAKING?

OOH! - WHATEV--I MEAN,

[false enthusiasm] YES, LET US EMBARK,

FOR I AM EXCITED.

- [hums]

* WE'RE BAKING, WE'RE BAKING *

* DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE MAKING *

* LOOK, MY BUTT IS SHAKING *

* WHILE WE'RE BAKING, BAKING, BAKING *

BIAN ZAO, CHECK THIS OUT.

* STOKING THE FIRE

* STOKING THE FIRE [scat singing]

* STOKING THE FIRE

[softly] * STOKING THE FIRE

[with gusto] * STOKING THE FIRE

[bellows puffs]

AND...

VOILA!

LOOK AT THAT BEAUTY.

NOW DON'T FEEL BAD IF YOURS DOESN'T--

WOW, BZ! NICE!

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

- YOU'RE WHAT?

- PROUD.

- NEVER HEARD THAT FROM MY DAD.

- I'M SORRY, WHAT?

- I'M SORRY, WHA-- I SAID, "LAME."

- * STOKING THE FIRE

- YOU THE PANDA, PO!

- NO, SIR. YOU THE DUCK!

- HI, PO.

- HEY, UM, PO,

WHEN YOU WALK AROUND TOWN,

PEOPLE DON'T THROW STUFF AT YOU.

- WELL, WHY WOULD THEY?

- THEY THROW STUFF AT MY DAD.

- WELL, HE DOES, YOU KNOW, ATTACK PEOPLE

WITH GIANT, EVIL CONTRAPTIONY MACHINES

THAT DESTROY THINGS,

WHICH IS SOMETHING I TRY TO AVOID.

- YEAH.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY LAME.

[clinking spoon] - * STOKING THE FIRE

* STOKING THE FIRE [scat singing]

[softly] * STOKING THE FIRE

- * STOKING THE FIRE

[door clanks]

[scat singing]

both: * STOKING THE FIRE

[both scat singing]

* STOKING THE FIRE

both: * STOKING THE FIRE

- SON, THANKS TO YOU,

ONE MORE PIECE, AND THE IRON CLAWS OF DOOM

WILL BE MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER.

I--I'M PROUD OF YOU.

- [soft grunt]

YOU'RE LIKE THE LITTLE WARTHOG BROTHER I NEVER HAD.

- 'CAUSE OF YOU, THINGS ARE BETTER WITH ME AND MY DAD.

I MEAN, WHEN HE GETS OUT OF JAIL--

- [maniacal laughter]

YAH! YAH! YAH!

YAH! [evil laughter]

[knife sharpening]

YOU CARVE, SON!

AFTER ALL, THIS MEAL IS ALL

BECAUSE OF YOU.

- I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T BRING THIS TO MY DAD.

- WHAT GOT UP HIS EXHAUST VENT?

- I DON'T KNOW. - PO.

- WHAT? I WASN'T GONNA EAT...MUCH.

- BIAN ZAO MADE THAT FOR HIS FATHER.

WHAT IF YOU BAKED A CAKE FOR ME?

WOULD YOU WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO EAT IT?

- LAME.

[door slides] - SON. YOU'RE FINALLY--

- HEY, THERE.

- YOU?

- BIAN ZAO COULDN'T MAKE IT.

- YOU...BROUGHT ME A CAKE?

- IS THIS AWKWARD?

- NOT AT ALL!

I HAVE LOADS OF ARCHENEMIES WHO BRING ME BAKED GOODS.

AT LAST! FREEDOM!

[titters] IS WHAT EATING THIS CAKE

WILL BE LIKE A LITTLE TASTE OF.

- YEAH, WELL, ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM.

BYE.

[door slides shut, locks]

- THANKS FOR THE CAKE, DRAGON WARRIOR.

WHAT A SHAME I'LL BE USING IT

TO OBLITERATE YOU!

[evil laugh]

[muted bump]

- [panting]

[strong exhale] - UM, PO?

I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

- [grunts] HANG ON.

I JUST WALKED ALL THE WAY

TO CHOR GHOM PRISON AND BACK.

[grunts] - YOU WHAT?

- YOUR DAD REALLY APPRECIATED THAT CAKE.

HE SAID, UH-- - YOU TOOK THE CAKE TO MY DAD?

OH, NO! GAME OVER, MAN.

- WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

- THAT'S WHAT I GOT TO TELL YOU.

THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE CAKE.

- AIN'T NO LAWS WHEN YOU GOT THE CLAWS!

AND THEY ARE LUBRICATED THIS TIME, BABY!

LUBRICATED!

- TAOTIE IS COMING!

- WHAT?

- WE PUT HIM IN JAIL.

- I KNOW, BUT I JUST BROUGHT HIM

THE LAST PIECE HE NEEDED

TO REBUILD THE IRON CLAWS OF DOOM!

- YOU BROUGHT HIM THE LAST-- WAIT.

WHERE DID HE GET THE OTHER ONES?

- I...TRICKED PO,

AND SMUGGLED THE PIECES IN TO MY DAD.

- YEAH, YOU DID.

AND THAT WAS--

- LAME.

- BIG DEAL. TAOTIE'S NEVER

BEEN ABLE TO BEAT US BEFORE.

- HE SAYS HIS IRON CLAWS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER.

- IT'S POSSIBLE HE'LL NEVER MAKE IT HERE.

HE'S HERE.

[boom]

- HELLO, SON.

GLAD YOU COULD BE HERE TO WITNESS THE DEBUT

OF MY NEW, IMPROVED, SUPER-LUBRICATED

IRON CLAWS OF DOOM.

YOU SEE? CONTINUALLY SELF-LUBRICATING.

[liquid swishes]

ISN'T IT AWESOME?

- DAD, YOU SAID--

- I KNOW... BUT WHEN WE'RE DONE HERE,

WE'LL GO SKIP SOME ROCKS

AND PLAY A SPORTING ACTIVITY.

NOW DUCK!

BY THE WAY,

THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR CARING FOR MY SON.

NOW EAT CHAIN!

[all grunting]

- HIYAH!

- YAH! YAH!

[grunting]

[chains clink]

- THIS IS FAIRLY UNDIGNIFIED.

- [groans]

- HYAH!

[grunts]

OOH!

- [gasps] OOF!

[chains clink]

- NO, PANDA. I'LL HANDLE THIS.

[bang] OR YOU CAN HANDLE IT.

- STAY HERE AND KEEP DOWN.

'CAUSE WITH ANY LUCK THERE'S GOING TO BE

MACHINE PARTS FLYING EVERYWHERE IN A SECOND.

- BUT I WANT TO HELP.

- HELP WHO?

- SON!

[clanking] UGH!

[clanking] DANG!

OUT OF CHAINS!

LOOKS LIKE WE'LL HAVE TO FIGHT,

MANO A...CLAW-O

YAH!

- [grunts]

AH! MAN!

WHAT ARE THOSE IRON CLAWS OF DOOM MADE OF?

- IRON.

- OH, THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A NAME.

I MEAN, I'M THE DRAGON WARRIOR,

BUT I'M NOT MADE OF DRAGON.

[yells]

[grunts] - COME ON!

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?

- NOT QUITE.

- YAH! - [growls]

[clang] YAH!

- [maniacal laughter]

- [Kung Fu shout]

- PO!

- WHAH!

[evil laugh]

- DAD!

PO!

- [growls]

- AH!

[both grunting]

- IT WOULD SEEM WE'RE EVENLY MATCHED.

- NEED SOMETHING TO SHIFT THE BALANCE.

- YEAH.

HELP ME. I'M YOUR FATHER!

- HELP ME. I'M YOUR BUDDY!

- I GAVE YOU LIFE!

- I GAVE YOU A COOL NICKNAME!

- I'LL RAISE YOUR ALLOWANCE!

- I'LL GIVE YOU THE MOONCAKE RECIPE!

- OH, MAN! MORAL DILEMMA.

LAME!

- WAY TO GO! YOU SCARED HIM OFF!

- ME? YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO WAS ALL, "I GAVE YOU LIFE!"

THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

[blast]

- SON! - BZ?

YES! AIR ATTACK!

- DAD, GRAB ON! - WHAT?

OOH!

- [maniacal laughter]

YOU ARE THE GREATEST SON IN THE WORLD!

- AND YOU ARE THE GREATEST DAD IN...THE FAMILY.

- OKAY.

NOW SWOOP DOWN BY HIS MELON HEAD, SO I CAN--

- OOPS!

I ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED SOMETHING LOOSE,

ON ACCIDENT.

- WHAT THE-- NOT THE LUBRICATION HOSE!

OH!

OH, AND I WAS WINNING TOO! - SORRY.

- THANKS, BUDDY.

- THEY'RE GETTING AWAY.

- THEY'LL BE BACK.

BUT WE DID SOME GOOD HERE TODAY.

WE BROUGHT A FAMILY CLOSER TOGETHER.

- YOU'RE TOO HIGH!

- WHATEVER, DAD. - LOWER! LOWER!

[screams, grunts]

- UH, SORT OF.