Original subtitles

- WAH-TAH! HUH!

HUH! YA!

male announcer: AND NOW...

Dreamwork's Kung Fu Panda

Legends of Awesomeness

- * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *

* DOONG, DOONG, DOONG, DOONG, DOONG-BOWNG, DOO-BOOM-BOOM *

* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP

* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *

* HE CLIMBED A MOUNTAINTOP

* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *

HOO! AH! YAH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

* DOONG, DA-DOONG, DOONG, SHU-GONG, DA-DOONG, DOONG *

* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *

* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *

* KUNG FU PANDA

* DOONG, DA-DOONG, DOONG-DOONG, DA-DOONG, DA-DA-DOONG *

* HE LIVES, AND HE TRAINS *

* AND HE FIGHTS WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE *

* PROTECT THE VALLEY SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN' *

* SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN' ALIVE *

OOH, AH, OOH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS

SWEET.

- COME ON, MANTIS. YOU HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING.

- [sighs] I CAN'T.

MY STOMACH FEELS LIKE I'VE BEEN DRINKING

FROM THE CUP OF HEARTBREAK AND SORROW.

[sighs]

- DID YOU TRY SALT?

- IT'S NOT THAT.

MANTIS' GIRLFRIEND DUMPED HIM, AND NOW HE WON'T EAT.

- [sighs]

SHE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CATERPILLAR YOU EVER SAW.

THEN ONE DAY, POOF! SHE BECOMES A BUTTERFLY.

NOW IT'S LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.

- ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS UPSET ONE'S CHI.

THAT'S WHY I AVOID THEM.

- YEAH, THAT'S THE REASON.

- [chuckling] OH, MAN-TIS, YOU GOT TO EAT.

NO EAT-Y, NO ENERGY. NO ENERGY, NO TRAIN-Y.

NO TRAIN-Y, NO--

- WHY-Y ARE YOU-Y TALKING LIKE THAT-Y?

- BECAUSE IT'S ADORABLE?

OOH!

I KNOW JUST THE DISH TO SOOTHE YOUR TINY BROKEN HEART.

WHA-TAH! HOO-AH!

NEED A FEW BEAN PASTE DUMPLINGS, LIBERAL PORTION OF HONEY,

SOME STICKY PLUM SAUCE, EXTRA STICKY,

AND MY OWN SUPERSECRET INGREDIENT...

- ISN'T THAT WHAT WE PATCH WALLS WITH?

- SO?

NOW WE PATCH A BROKEN HEART.

NOW WE JUST GIVE IT A GOOD STIR, AND VOILA!

PO'S FAMOUS STICKY DUMPLINGS.

TRY ONE, MANTIS.

- THANKS, PO.

OOF!

[muffled] I SEEM TO BE STUCK ON YOUR DUMPLING.

- OOPS. [chuckles]

GUESS I KIND OF WENT OVERBOARD WITH THE STICKY.

- [grunting]

NOT...AS MUCH FUN... AS IT LOOKS!

[grunts]

- THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

HERE.

[both grunting]

- PULL!

PULL!

[loud crash]

- UH...

- MEALTIME IS OVER.

LET'S TRAIN.

- UH, BUT-- BUT I JUST MADE--

I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE A SHAME TO WASTE THE--AND--

UH, MAYBE I'LL JUST...

[screams]

- PO!

[stammers]

[gulps]

[gulps]

[chains jangling]

- [sighs]

- EXCELLENT.

NOW, PO, I--

[gasps]

PANDA, ARE YOU EATING IN HERE?

- [chewing loudly]

[swallows]

NO.

- WE HAVE RULES ABOUT EATING IN THE TRAINING HALL.

- IS ONE OF THEM THAT WE SHOULD?

- [sighs]

THAT'S ENOUGH TRAINING FOR TODAY.

YOU'RE DISMISSED.

EXCEPT FOR YOU, DRAGON WARRIOR.

I HAVE A SPECIAL MISSION FOR YOU.

- AH. YOU GUYS GO ON.

SPECIAL MISSION.

- I WOULD LIKE THE DRAGON WARRIOR...

- YES?

- TO CLEAN THE ENTIRE TRAINING HALL BY SUNSET.

- HUH?

[groans]

BUT, MASTER SHIFU, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I WAS GONNA...

- YES?

- I GOT NOTHIN',

SO I THOUGHT I'D JUST TRAIL OFF LIKE THAT.

- GOOD DECISION.

NOW GET TO WORK, AND TAKE CARE.

THIS TRAINING HALL IS A HALLOWED AND SPECIAL PLACE.

[sleepy flute music]

- [swallowing]

BUT FIRST, A LITTLE DRAGON WARRIOR ACTION.

HIY--OH!

AH, STUCK!

THE STICKY DUMPLINGS.

MIGHT HAVE MADE 'EM A BIT TOO STICKY.

[grunting]

KEE-YAH!

[grunts]

NO!

OOF!

[chain jangling]

UH-OH.

[stammering]

AH! OW!

AH!

OH-HOO!

HUH?

THE DUMPLINGS!

AH!

OH, NO, THE WHOLE PLACE!

NOOOO!

AH!

[cogs grinding]

AH!

[wood creaking]

UH, I BROKE THE TRAINING HALL.

THAT'S...KIND OF IMPRESSIVE

AND AWFUL.

I GOT TO FIX THIS BEFORE SHIFU FINDS OUT.

[grunting] ALMOST.

I'VE JUST GOT TO...WANT IT.

HERE WE GO NOW.

[grunting[ FEEL THE THUNDER.

YEAH, FEEL THE THUNDER.

OOF!

YOU!

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, STICKY DUMPLING.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

OH, I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU.

[gulps]

[gasps] WHAT'S THIS?

THEY MUST HAVE MADE THE TRAINING HALL.

THAT'S SHIFU'S MARK, AND THAT'S TAOTIE.

[gasps] I'LL GET HIM TO FIX THE HALL!

HEY, SOMEONE COULD TRIP OVER THIS.

[rattling sound]

[sharp chinking sound]

AH!

[wire whipping]

WHOA, THAT IS SO--

HUH?

SWEET!

WASN'T SO...

[screaming] BAD!

[loud thud]

[grunts]

WHEW.

[dart whistles through air]

AH.

[gasping]

TAOTIE?

- DAD, IT'S FOR YOU.

- WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

- UH! OW! OW!

UH! LOOK, I DIDN'T COME TO FIGHT.

BUT IF I DID, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M SORT OF THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

YOU'D NEED MORE THAN A STICK.

[blades chinking]

YEAH, THAT'D DO IT.

- [whimpering nervously]

WHOA, COOL THINGIES.

- CARE FOR A CLOSER LOOK?

MY OWN INVENTIONS.

- NOBODY CARES, DAD.

- AH, NO, THAT'S PLENTY CLOSE.

LOOK, I WOULDN'T BOTHER YOU, BUT...

[chuckles nervously] SOMEONE NEEDS YOUR HELP.

- WHO?

- SHIFU.

- SHIFU SEEKS MY ASSISTANCE?

- UH, YEAH.

HE'S LIKE ALL, "GET TAOTIE. HE'S THE MAN."

- THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SHIFU.

- HE'S GOT A LITTLE COLD.

ANYWAY, THE TRAINING HALL YOU GUYS BUILT,

IT'S KIND OF...BROKE.

- WHAT?

THAT EQUIPMENT WAS BUILT TO LAST CENTURIES.

WHAT KIND OF ADDLEPATED LUMMOX COULD'VE BROKEN IT?

- NO ONE KNOWS.

BUT, UH, BETWEEN YOU AND ME,

I THINK IT WAS THAT GRASSHOPPER-LOOKIN' GUY.

- AND SHIFU SENT FOR ME?

- YOU COULD SAY THAT.

OR YOU COULD SAY THAT IT WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU FIXED THE HALL

WITHOUT ANYONE EVER FINDING OUT.

- AH, NOW I UNDERSTAND.

- [slurping]

I'M GONNA TAKE A NAP. [yawns]

WAKE ME WHEN YOU GUYS AREN'T LAME.

- PLEASE EXCUSE MY SON, BIAN ZAO.

HE'S JUST LEARNING THE BUSINESS.

- LAME!

- SO WILL YOU DO IT? WILL YOU FIX THE TRAINING HALL?

- ANYTHING FOR MY OLD FRIEND SHIFU.

- WHO WE'RE NOT GONNA TELL ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TO.

- IT'LL BE OUR SECRET.

- OH, WHAT A RELIEF.

IF YOU FIX IT, THIS WILL BE AWESOME.

- SOUNDS GREAT.

COULD YOU STAND ON THAT "X" AGAIN?

[dart whistles through air]

- HMM? HMM.

- THIS IS TOO PERFECT, MY SON.

ESCORTED INTO THE JADE PALACE BY THE DRAGON WARRIOR

RIGHT UNDER THAT MORON SHIFU'S POINTY NOSE?

[laughs]

- I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHIFU IS YOUR FRIEND.

- WAS MY FRIEND.

MANY YEARS AGO, SHIFU AND I WERE AT THE JADE PALACE TOGETHER,

BUT I WAS NEVER AS GOOD AS SHIFU.

WE THOUGHT BETTER TRAINING WOULD DO THE TRICK,

SO WE WORKED SIDE BY SIDE BUILDING THE TRAINING HALL--

MY FINEST ACHIEVEMENT.

BUT WHILE IT HELPED SHIFU IMPROVE TREMENDOUSLY,

I WAS STILL HOPELESS.

I WANTED TO MAKE UP FOR MY LACKINGS,

SO I DEVISED INGENIOUS MECHANICAL CONTRIVANCES

TO COMPENSATE FOR MY WEAK SPOTS.

I WAS SO EXCITED TO SHOW MY MECHANICAL IMPROVEMENTS

TO OOGWAY AND SHIFU.

THEY LOOKED AT ME WITH HORROR.

MY MACHINES HAD SULLIED THE PURITY OF KUNG FU.

WELL, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU:

KUNG FU IS OUTDATED AND USELESS!

WHICH MACHINERY COMES POWER.

NOW THIS LUMBERING MOUNTAIN OF BLACK-AND-WHITE PUDDING

WILL TAKE ME RIGHT IN.

ONCE MY MACHINES AND I ARE VICTORIOUS,

THE VILLAGERS WILL SEE WHAT TRUE POWER IS.

THEY'LL TURN THEIR BACKS ON KUNG FU

AND WORSHIP ME LIKE A GOD.

- I'M NOT GOING. [slurping]

- JUST COME. YOU'LL HAVE FUN.

I WILL SOON DESTROY ALL WHO ONCE OPPOSED ME!

[cackling evilly]

- [chuckling slowly]

[chuckling]

AH.

SO YOU GUYS READY TO GO?

[grunting]

- IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?

- YES, I TOLD YOU.

- OW!

- YIKES.

GAH!

HEY, YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT.

[chuckles] BEEN WORKING OUT?

- UH, NO, NO ONE'S BEEN WORKING OUT,

BECAUSE THE TRAINING HALL'S CLOSED

TILL YOU FINISH CLEANING IT.

- OH, YEAH, RIGHT, AND THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M GONNA DO

WITH THIS, UH-- THIS CRATE OF GIANT...

SPONGES.

SO, UH, BYE.

[grunts]

- OW!

- OKAY, NOW, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME, SO--

- BEHOLD, MY SON, MY GREATEST--

WHA--

THE TRAINING HALL! IT'S RUINED!

OH, MY CREATION, MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION.

OH, IT'S OKAY.

I'M HERE NOW.

OH, OH!

WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT?

- SEE WHAT I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH?

- LOOK, I TOLD YOU, I--

LOOK, WE CAN GO BACK AND FORTH OVER WHO DID WHAT AND...

OKAY, NOT SO MUCH WITH THE BACK-AND-FORTH,

BUT WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS, CAN YOU FIX IT?

- OF COURSE, BUT FOR A JOB THIS BIG,

I'M GOING TO NEED SPECIAL TOOLS.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING OF INFINITE POWER

IN THE SHAPE OF AN ORB THAT'S MADE OF JADE?

- NO.

WE DO HAVE THE JADE ORB OF INFINITE POW--OH!

AH, BUT THAT'S SACRED,

AND IT'S ONLY FOR HUGE EMERGENCIES.

- AND WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU CALL THIS?

- GOOD POINT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

JUST REMEMBER TO STAY OUT OF SIGHT.

- SOON THE JADE PALACE WILL BE OURS, MY SON.

- NEAT.

- [grunting]

- OH!

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- UH, WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I MEAN, STOP LOOKING AT MY BUTT.

I--I'M SENSITIVE ABOUT IT.

- OH, SORRY, MAN.

- [grunts]

UH, THERE YOU GO.

NOW, IF WE CAN JUST MOVE THINGS ALONG IN HERE,

'CAUSE WE'RE KIND OF OUT OF TIME.

- CERTAINLY. JUST KEEP EVERYONE OUT.

- RIGHT. I'M ON IT.

[screams]

- JEEZ!

- MANTIS, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- [sighs]

DROWNING MY SORROWS IN A GOOD WORKOUT.

- THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?

TALK ABOUT IT, LIKE, SOMEWHERE ELSE

AND NOT RIGHT HERE.

- [sighs]

I MISS MY GIRLFRIEND SO MUCH.

EVERYTHING I LOOK AT REMINDS ME OF HER,

LIKE THAT ROCK...

OR THAT BUTTERFLY.

- ACTUALLY, THAT'S HER.

- I'M JUST GETTING MY STUFF.

- WHEN DOES IT STOP,

THE HURTING?

- [gasps]

TIGRESS!

GOOD TALK, BUDDY. I FEEL BETTER. BYE!

WHA!

- OOF!

GET OFF OF ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- HEH, THIS IS BETTER THAN TRAINING

ON SOME DUMB MACHINE, RIGHT?

FEEL THE BURN.

- [grunts]

I AM GOING IN THERE.

- WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED OF ME?

- I AM SCARED OF NOTHING.

- HOW ABOUT NOW? GRR!

OR NOW? HUH!

OR NOW? [cackles wickedly]

- I AM NOT SCARED OF YOU.

- YES, YOU ARE, SCAREDY-CAT, SCAREDY-CAT,

SCAREDY-CA-AT!

- PO! PO?

- [gasps]

SHIFU!

OH, UH, WHAT'S UP, 'FU?

I MEAN, SHI'.

SEE HOW I DID THAT BACKWARDS?

[chuckles nervously] 'FU...

- I WANT TO SEE HOW THE TRAINING HALL

IS COMING ALONG.

- UH, I WANT IT TO BE A SURPRISE.

- I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES.

- REALLY?

UH, BECAUSE I'M DOING SOME STUFF WITH FLOOR WAX

THAT WILL REALLY BLOW YOUR MIND.

- WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME, PANDA?

- UH, NOTHING.

WHAT--WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M HIDING ANYTHING?

- YA!

THOUGHT I WOULDN'T FIND YOU, HUH?

- YOU'RE NOT SENSITIVE ABOUT YOUR BUTT.

- GIANT SPONGES AREN'T HEAVY.

- YOU'VE BEEN ACTING WEIRD ALL DAY.

- ARE YOU DATING MY GIRLFRIEND?

- ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS MUST BE CRAZY,

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

[explosion]

[foreboding music]

*

- WHAT IS THAT?

- THE...TRAINING HALL.

- AND WHO IS THAT?

- HELLO, SHIFU, MY OLD FRIEND.

- TAOTIE!

- HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

HOW DID HE GET IN HERE?

- OH, IT WAS QUITE SIMPLE, SHIFU.

YOUR DRAGON WARRIOR SHOWED US RIGHT IN.

[dramatic music]

[laughs loudly]

- YEAH, ABOUT THAT...

I KIND OF GOT SOME STICKY DUMPLINGS

STUCK IN THE TRAINING MACHINE,

WHICH THEN WENT ALL, LIKE, CRASH, BOOM,

AND THEN I FOUND TAOTIE TO FIX IT,

AND HE--BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH--MADE THAT!

- YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THIS?

- NO! YES!

BUT I--I THOUGHT YOU AND TAOTIE WERE FRIENDS.

- WE WERE ONCE,

UNTIL HE ABANDONED KUNG FU WHEN HIS HEART TURNED DARK.

- OH...WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD TO KNOW.

- [growls]

I'M VERY ANGRY WITH YOU, PANDA,

SO ANGRY, I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF A PUNISHMENT HARSH ENOUGH.

[loud thunk]

THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH.

EVERYONE, POSITIONS.

- HUH! - HUH!

- YEAH, WE CAN DO IT.

WE CAN TAKE THIS THING DOWN.

- PO, I GAVE YOU A BROOM, AND THIS HAPPENED.

DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO LET YOU FIGHT?

- YEAH.

MAYBE YOU SIT THIS ONE OUT.

- HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH?

- AS THE WISE MAN SAY:

GET THE HECK OUT!

- BUT...

- WE DON'T WANT YOUR HELP.

- LOOK AT THAT, SHIFU.

ALL YOUR PRECIOUS TRAINING RUNNING AWAY.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE A MACHINE DO THAT.

- AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE A MACHINE DO THIS.

- OOF.

UH!

- [grunts]

HYAH!

[panting]

[grunting]

[dishes rattling]

- OH, GAH, THIS IS TORTURE.

I'M AN IDIOT.

ALL THIS MESS JUST BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID DUMPLINGS.

- [cackling loudly]

[blades chinking]

- OOF!

[arrows whistling through air]

- UH!

[chain clanging]

- AHH!

[throwing stars chinking]

- [rattling]

- [grunting]

OOF!

BAD IDEA!

[throwing stars chinking]

[fire roaring]

- [gasps]

AH!

- SO, SHIFU, READY TO ADMIT THAT MACHINERY IS MORE POWERFUL

THAN YOUR OLD-FASHIONED KUNG FU?

- MACHINERY WILL NEVER BE MORE POWERFUL,

BECAUSE IT HAS NO HEART.

- AND SOON NEITHER WILL YOU.

- [gasps]

[grunting]

- [laughing evilly]

- SURRENDER, TAOTIE.

- HA!

YOUR PANDA STYLE IS NO MATCH FOR MY MECHANICAL MARVEL.

- IT IS YOU WHO IS NO MATCH FOR THIS.

- DUMPLINGS?

- DUMPLINGS?

- STICKY DUMPLING STYLE.

[arrows whistling through air]

HUH!

HA!

[arrows pinging]

[suspenseful flute music]

*

- OOH!

OOH! HA! OOH!

HA!

HUH! HUH! HUH!

- [cackles]

[chain jangling]

[chopsticks whistling through air]

- [sighs]

UH!

[grunting]

[growling]

HA!

[fire roaring]

WHOO.

COME ON, STICKY DUMPLINGS, DO YOUR THING.

- [cackles]

[cackles]

- HOO-AH!

HUH!

SHIFU!

- UH!

- UH-OH.

[grunting]

- THOUGHT YOU COULD BEAT ME WITH DUMPLINGS?

AH! WHAT'S HAPPENING?

CRANK HARDER!

- YOU CRANK HARDER.

- NO!

- YOU FELLAS WANT TO COME DOWN AND TRY YOUR LUCK MANO A MANO

WITHOUT HIDING BEHIND YOUR MACHINES?

[wood creaking]

- AH!

[loud crash]

[blades chinking]

- NOT REALLY.

WE'LL BE BACK FOR THE PALACE SOMEDAY,

AND THEN YOU'LL SEE THE AWESOME POWER

OF MY INVENTIONS AND--

WHA--

DID YOU OIL THESE BLADES LIKE I ASKED YOU TO?

- BLADES ARE STUPID.

both: WHOA!

[loud thud]

- THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!

- LET THEM GO, PANDA.

WE'LL SEND THEM THE BILL.

- SHIFU, SORRY FOR, UH--

- EVERYTHING?

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING, BUT...

A LOT.

- PO, I MUST ADMIT THAT YOU DID A GOOD JOB DEFENDING US,

SO GOOD THAT I HAVE ONE MORE JOB FOR THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

- YEAH? BRING IT!

[whimpers]

- DELICIOUS.

- MORE STICKY DUMPLINGS, MANTIS?

- OH, DON'T MIND IF I DO.

- SO YOU SEEM TO BE FEELING BETTER.

- I'M DOING GREAT.

- GOOD, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU WERE REALLY TOO GOOD FOR HER.

I MEAN, NOBODY REALLY LIKED HER.

- YEAH...

WE ACTUALLY GOT BACK TOGETHER.

- SHE'S LOVELY. NICE LADY. BEST TO YOU BOTH.