Original subtitles

♪ I bet we've been together For a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love each other through ♪

♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

Hey, Jen. What do you got there?

Oh, we're cleaning out the attic.

I've got to throw away all this junk.

Junk? Wait a minute, Jennifer.

This isn't any old junk. This is my junk.

The junk of the gods.

Mom said everything goes.

Yeah, well, when mom said everything goes,

she obviously didn't mean this.

What was mom thinking?

I got to tell you, Jen,

there's a lot of memories in this box.

Look at this.

My little baby money belt.

Oh.

My House Un-American Activities coloring book.

My Richard Nixon lunch box.

I had such a happy childhood.

Real normal, too.

Oh, hey, Alex.

Hey, Skipper. How's it going?

Not good. All this graduation stuff is really getting to me.

Oh, yeah, like what?

Well, I have to pick a quote for the yearbook.

I have two here, and I can't figure out which one to use.

Well, let me see.

"Each man must pursue justice,

for only through justice is he truly free"...

Or "yabba-dabba-doo."

Either one will work, Skip.

Is Mallory here yet?

Uh, she just called from the store, mom.

- She should be home any minute. - Oh, good.

I can't wait for her to see this.

Why, what do you got?

It's my high school graduation dress.

Thought maybe she'd want to wear it to her graduation.

Oh, that's a great idea.

I'm gonna go home and see

if my mom has anything for me to wear.

Elyse, I found some of my favorite stuff

in this box marked "trash."

Look what you threw out by mistake.

Uh, I didn't want to throw that out.

I wanted to burn it.

- Hey. - Hi.

- Hey, Nick, Mal. - Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

That's a great shirt you got there, Mr. Keaton.

You know, I been looking for one just like that.

All right.

Wow. Great dress, mom.

It's my old graduation dress.

Thought it'd be perfect for you to wear for your graduation.

Yeah, thanks.

Hey, you're gonna look terrific in this.

Yeah, I love it. It's so old, it's in again.

By the time you graduate, Mal, it'll be in yet again.

Look, we better take this stuff down to Goodwill, Elyse.

- Okay. - Hey, I'll move my bike for you.

Thanks. It looks good on you.

Listen, Alex, can I talk to you?

If you have to.

Well, I've got a problem and I need your advice.

What is it?

I'm in real trouble, Alex. I may not graduate.

Why not?

Well, for one thing,

I'm flunking Mrs. Hillman's History class.

Oh, Mal. Is it hopeless?

I mean, are you flunking badly?

No, I'm flunking very well.

There's still hope, though.

I think on the last test, I may have pulled a "D."

Mal, how could you let this happen?

I don't know. It's spring, and the weather's been great.

I've had a hard time concentrating.

Mallory, people don't stop thinking when the sun comes out.

Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence

In July...

...when all the other Founding Fathers were at the beach.

Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence?

Yes.

There goes my "D."

Mallory, I warned you about this at the beginning of the year.

Mrs. Hillman is a very tough teacher.

I know. I had her.

Yeah, what'd she give you?

A-plus.

But she said I had a bad attitude.

How could you be doing so badly in history?

Oh, let's face it, Alex.

You got the brains, I got the looks.

Wait a minute.

Mal, I got the brains...

And the looks.

You got the better room.

Alex, what am I gonna do?

I don't know.

Do you want me to go and talk to Mrs. Hillman for you?

Oh, it's useless, Alex.

You know, she really has it in for me.

She calls on me to answer questions all the time

when she knows I don't study.

What is she trying to prove?

Sorry I'm late, class.

I trust you all had a good weekend.

Yes, Walter.

This weekend I read three books

on the suggested summer reading list, Mrs. Hillman.

You're a wild man, Walter.

Now, I want to remind you

that the final will be an oral exam

given four weeks from today.

Now, if you'll clear your desks, take out a pencil or a pen,

we're gonna have a pop quiz.

What?

The question is in the handout.

Please use facts to back up your opinion on your essay.

You have until the end of class.

Begin.

That's quite a little shoe you've drawn there, Mallory.

But it doesn't really answer the question.

Answers it better than my answer would.

Mallory.

Mallory, I don't understand your attitude.

What do you mean?

This isn't the first little shoe I've seen on one of your tests.

And look at this paper you handed in last week

on the history of New York city.

"It is very significant

"that the pilgrims bought Manhattan island for $24

because it established New York as a great place for bargains."

Mallory, I'm appalled.

What possessed you to write that?

I don't know what to say, Mrs. Hillman.

I-I try. I guess I just don't understand the material.

You don't try, Mallory.

Mrs. Hillman, I'm done with this question.

May I please write an essay

on the basic Land Ordinance of 1785?

No.

Mallory, now, the only reason why you're doing so poorly

is because you refuse to apply yourself.

Now, I know you're a much more intelligent girl

than you let on.

Why? Because I'm Alex's sister?

That has nothing to do with it.

You know, Mallory,

I've been trying to get through to you all year,

but obviously without success.

Okay, this is what it comes down to.

If you don't get a "B" on the final exam,

you're gonna flunk.

And if that happens, you're not gonna graduate.

A "B"? Mrs. Hillman, I can't get a "B."

Look, I'm supposed to go to grant junior college.

I-if I don't graduate, they're not gonna take me.

Can I have a Makeup exam

or some extra-credit assignments?

I'm not gonna break the rules for you.

Now, the only way you're gonna pass

is to sit down and start studying for that final.

But it's in four weeks.

You should have thought of that before.

I think you should tell 'em, Mal.

Oh, I can't, Jennifer.

If I tell them I'm not graduating, they'll kill me.

Look, Mallory, mom and dad are gonna be at the graduation.

Now, if you're not there,

they're gonna realize something's up.

I can't believe I'm not graduating.

You said it all along, Alex.

You said I wouldn't graduate, and I'm not.

Mallory, when I said you weren't gonna graduate,

it wasn't a dare.

Look, Mal, I think you should tell them.

And don't worry. They'll understand.

Mom and dad can put this into perspective.

- Ah. - Hi, honey.

Hi.

I had the dress altered for you.

So excited you're gonna be wearing it to your graduation.

- Yeah. - Really means a lot to me.

Uh, what do you think of this frame, Mal?

I think your diploma will look great in here.

Uh, it looks nice the way it is, dad.

Do you want to try this on now?

Uh, no, mom. There's plenty of time for that.

No, there isn't.

Mom, there's time.

Trust her.

Come on, Jen.

Mom, dad,

there's something I have to tell you.

This isn't easy for me,

and it's not gonna make you happy.

I don't like it any more than you will.

You know,

I don't know why we're gonna put ourselves through this.

In fact, I-I don't know why we're having this conversation.

I'm a little fuzzy on it myself.

Okay, I'm failing history.

Unless I get a "B" on my final, which is not likely,

I'm not gonna graduate.

Not graduate?

Why is this the first we're hearing of this?

I didn't mention it before?

No.

I guess I was hoping it wouldn't come to this,

that I'd get that diploma somehow.

Well, how did you plan on getting this diploma, Mal,

by going to the mall four nights a week?

By spending all that time with Nick?

By talking on the phone all hours?

Okay, that didn't work.

Well, I'm real glad you can see the humor in this, Mallory,

because I can't.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to start taking things seriously.

I want you to grow up!

Mom, don't yell at me. I feel bad enough already.

Well, sometimes I have to yell at you.

It's the only way I can get through to you these days.

Come on, come on, come on, getting all upset

isn't gonna help, Elyse.

How could you do this, Mallory?!

I didn't want to.

Can't you bring the grade up at all?

I don't know. my teacher's so unfair to me.

I asked her if I could do extra credit.

She said, "no, Mallory.

You have to get a 'B' on the final, or else."

There's no way I'm gonna be able to do that.

There's still time.

Come on, mom.

I can't learn a year's worth of work in four weeks.

Can't you guys talk to Mrs. Hillman for me?

Well, fine. What are we gonna say?

That she should let you graduate

even though you haven't done the work and you don't deserve it?

Okay, but put it in your own words.

If that's your attitude, just fine.

Don't graduate.

What do you want me to do?

Look, I think your only choice now

is to sit down and study as hard as you can.

Dad, what would be the point? I'd still flunk.

I'm not smart. There's no way I can do this.

You are smart, Mallory. You just don't apply yourself.

Your teachers have always said that.

Look, if you give up on this,

you're not even giving yourself a chance.

Now, this time, it's too important.

I'm scared.

You have no choice.

- Hey, how's it going? - Hi.

Hey, where's Mallory? I got some things for her.

Oh, she's at the library studying.

No, no, no, I mean Mallory.

She's at the library studying, Alex.

All right, don't tell me.

Come on, Alex. Give her credit.

She's really been buckling down these past two weeks.

It's amazing.

She hasn't gone shopping once in that time.

Yeah, we just got a letter

from the Columbus Merchants' Association.

Retail sales are way down.

They offered to start a high school and graduate her from it.

- Hi. - Hey, Mal, Nick.

- Hey, hey. - Hey.

Thanks for helping me study, Nick.

Oh, sure, Mal. I'm glad I could help.

You know, I want to see you graduate, Mal.

I want to see your name on that old pigskin.

Sheepskin, Nick.

Oh, you're so smart.

- Hey, how's it going? - How you doing?

Can we, uh... Can we help you at all?

Uh, no. I really got to do this on my own.

Oh, okay, we'll leave you alone.

You just study, Mal.

All right, uh, we won't get in your way.

Just pretend we're not in the same room, huh?

All right, okay, give her some air. Come on.

Come on, give her some air.

These brain cells need all the oxygen they can get.

- We were just going. - Yeah.

Yeah, listen, before we go, Mal, I've got some, uh...

well, kind of some inspirational study aids here for you.

You got, uh, this there.

And, uh, oh, of course.

And, uh, oh, this is the best one, Mal.

Remember when I was in that high school play?

I played Abe Lincoln?

Whenever I do a history paper,

I like to wear this, get me in the mood.

Alex.

What? W-what's so funny?

You look like a little stove.

Thanks, Alex.

All right, now, listen.

Uh, just memorize the facts, okay?

Don't try and learn anything. You'll just hurt yourself.

Alex, that is terrible advice.

Alex, the facts won't help her

if she doesn't know what they mean.

Well, Elyse, she has limited time here.

It's best for her to know a lot of facts

than a few little theories.

That's right, mom. This is no time for theories.

Just remember the facts, Mallory.

Hey, hey, hey, you know, flunking out is not so bad.

Oh, come on.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Look, I appreciate your support,

but I got to get this studying done.

I'm the one who has to be tested.

So I've really got to do this on my own. Thanks anyway.

- All right, makes sense. - Mallory, you are absolutely right.

- I understand, honey. - Okay.

Where'd I put my pen?

- Oh. - Oh, here.

Thank you.

Hi, Alex.

Hi, Mal.

It's after 2:00 in the morning. You were asleep.

No, I wasn't.

I was just reading.

Very closely.

Yeah. Well, listen, you should go on up.

You know, your exam's in the morning.

You're gonna want to get some sleep.

I know. I just want to go over this one more time.

You know, Mal, you've studied more in the last four weeks

than you have in your entire life.

You know, you got to remember, for the last 18 years,

your brain has remained relatively unused.

Can't just throw it into action.

It might cramp up.

Alex, I know you think this is a joke,

but I have been working very hard.

I know you have.

I've been watching you study.

Been buckling down. I'm impressed.

You're gonna do well on this exam tomorrow.

You really think so?

Yeah.

Do you really think I'm smart?

Yeah.

Smart as you?

Let's stay in the real world.

You know, Alex, over the past month,

I've developed a new kind of respect for you.

I never realized how much work went into it all,

you know, getting good grades.

I just figured you knew somebody.

You know, Mal, a long time ago,

I realized that anything really worthwhile,

like, uh, good grades or a relationship

or finding a good mutual fund,

takes a lot of hard work.

And I think you realize that, too.

Yeah.

So whatever happens tomorrow,

you have won a moral victory here.

And, uh, that should be of some comfort to you

as you repeat your senior year.

Okay, Skippy, this is your last question.

Give me three results of the Civil War.

The Union Pacific Railroad was built.

The southern plantation economy was destroyed.

And Rhett and Scarlett got a divorce.

Are you sure about that last one?

Maybe they just separated.

Okay, Skippy. That's it.

You can go.

Oh, thank you very much, Mrs. Hillman. Thank you.

Hey, Skippy, how'd it go?

Oh. Uh, I think I got somewhere between an "A"

and an "F," probably.

Mallory, please, sit down.

So...

Have you been studying?

Yes. A lot.

Good. Well, good luck.

Thank you.

Okay. I'm going to ask you six questions.

I want you to think about what you're going to say

and be brief and to the point.

- You ready? - Uh-huh.

Okay.

What was the Louisiana Purchase,

and how did it affect Thomas Jefferson's presidency?

Well, Thomas Jefferson wanted some land,

and, uh, Napoleon had some.

Uh, so he finally bought it for $15 million,

which wasn't a bad price considering it was from France.

I thought you said you studied.

I did.

That answer was gibberish.

Now tell me the answer in clear and coherent English.

I don't know what you mean.

Well, then you're gonna flunk and you won't graduate.

Mrs. Hillman.

When are you gonna drop this charade

and start acting like an intelligent young woman?

I'm doing the best I can.

Well, Mallory, if this is the best you can do,

then obviously I've overestimated you.

How can you say that?

I've been studying my head off for four weeks.

What do you want from me?

An intelligent answer.

Now, come on.

How did the Louisiana Purchase

affect Thomas Jefferson's presidency?

Tell me what you think, intelligently.

Can you do that, or would you rather...

The Louisiana Purchase was difficult for Jefferson

because he supported States' rights.

And when he made the purchase,

he was doing more for federal power,

so he lost political backing

from the people who were involved in states' rights.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

Mallory, that's what I want from you.

Now, that was an intelligent answer.

It was?

Yes, it was.

You want to try another one?

Well, we're here, and we have the room for another hour.

Okay.

"What was the primary reason for the Era of Good Feeling

during the presidency of James Monroe?"

Well, Monroe's opposing political party,

the Whigs, was badly weakened

because they didn't support the War of 1812.

So Monroe was able to get all his ideas through Congress

without anyone opposing him.

Finally.

The real Mallory Keaton.

Yep. Old high-school auditorium.

You know, I got some great memories of this place.

Yeah, I'm sure the police

share those memories with you, Nick.

Here come the graduates.

Smile.

Yeah.

Congratulations, you two.

Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.

Oh, go on.

Well, Mallory, we're proud of you, too.

Hey, baby.

Well, I made it.

Yeah, you worked hard, and it paid off.

Yeah, well, you forced me to work hard.

We didn't force you. We encouraged you.

Forcefully.

Um, excuse me a minute. I want to talk to Mrs. Hillman.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Mrs. Hillman. Hi. - Hi.

Hey, you look great in a cap and gown.

As a matter of fact, you look wonderful.

Maybe I should graduate more often.

Um, Mrs. Hillman, why did you do it?

Why did you spend so much time on me?

Because I believe in you, Mallory.

You know, when I was in school,

I saw so many girls like you who were smart,

but they just didn't try and acted dumb.

There was this ridiculous notion

that they could get dates more easily that way.

Well, did they?

Well, yes. But that's not the point.

Once you're out of high school, everything changes,

and being dumb doesn't get you anything.

You're a smart girl, Mallory.

I didn't want to see you waste yourself like that.

I guess it's hard for me to think of myself as smart

with Alex around.

You know, I think you go out of your way

just to be different from Alex.

- Wouldn't you? - Oh.

If everyone will please be seated.

Please, everyone, take your seat. Thank you.

Parents, students, teachers, friends,

Welcome to graduation '86.