Original subtitles

♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love each other through ♪

♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

Well?

Is the revolution tonight?

Why wasn't I informed?

Because we're coming to get you, Alex.

Well, what do you think?

They're authentic paratrooper jump pants.

I hope your chute opens.

It's okay, dad.

I'm not wearing them for you. I'm wearing them for Nick.

See, to Nick, camouflage is a big turn-on.

Well, then this Nick is definitely my kind of guy.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to meeting this Nick.

It's been three weeks now, and we haven't even seen him.

He'll be here any minute.

Oh, good. I'd like to meet this Nick, too.

Me too. I mean, we've heard so much about this Nick.

Will everyone stop calling him "this Nick"?

He's just "Nick." Just plain "Nick."

Unless I'm wrong, it's just plain Nick

on a Kawasaki 750 Turbo.

Nick: Mallory!

Hey, Mallory!

He's really anxious to meet all of you.

Nick!

Come on in, Nick!

Nick: Oh, do I have to?

He seems anxious to meet us.

I don't know about you,

but I am keeping an open mind about this.

It just closed.

Nick Moore, I'd like you to meet my parents,

Elyse and Steven Keaton.

Nice to meet you, Nick. It's a pleasure having you here.

Hey.

It is nice to meet you finally.

I've heard an awful lot about you.

Hey.

My brother and sister, Alex and Jennifer.

Hey-hey.

How youse doin'?

We's doin' fine, Nick.

At least I's doin' fine.

That's, uh - that's a nice earring, Nick.

Yeah, I found it in the garbage.

Picked it up on my rounds.

Are you a garbageman?

Me? No.

I mean, but I hope to be one one day, you know?

It's the only way to get the good garbage.

The good garbage? Um...

How do you distinguish that from the bad garbage?

You got to have an eye for it.

I'm not sure I understand.

Mom, Nick's an artist.

I am like what they call an environmental artist.

I make things out of trash, garbage, junk.

You'd be amazed at the things you can make from garbage.

You see this hat? Mm-hmm.

I made this hat from garbage.

I see.

Well, we better get going.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Little mama bird flies back to the nest.

And the baby bird opens up his mouth so big.

Open up your mouth, Andrew.

Would you open up your mouth?

Andrew, would you open up your mouth?

Hey, mom. Mom, take it easy.

Well, you were always such a good baby bird.

You always opened up your mouth so big.

Mom, you're losing your mind.

Alex, you sit down

and you show him how a good baby bird loves to eat.

No. Mom, mom, mom. I'm not gonna show him.

Come on, Alex. You're his big brother. You set a good example for him.

- Mom, no, this is ridiculous. - Show him!

Okay.

Watch Alex, Andrew.

Okay, now, the mama bird flies back to her nest,

and the baby bird opens up his mouth so big.

Come on, honey. Open your mouth, Alex.

Open - would you open your mouth, Alex?!

Hi, guys.

I can't get either one of them to eat!

Dad, we need a new mom. This one's had it.

Oh, dad, it's you.

I thought it was Nick.

Oh, no, no, no, it's just me.

Steven Keaton, a non-criminal.

You going out with Nick again tonight?

Yeah.

Well, this will be four nights in a row.

Yeah, well, he's gonna help me study.

Well, there go your hopes for a "D."

Nick: Mallory!

It's so romantic the way he says my name.

Mallory! I'm coming!

Well, Elyse, what are we gonna do about this?

What do you mean?

What do you mean, what do I mean?

We have a crisis on our hands.

What crisis?

Elyse, our daughter is dating Rambo.

Oh, Steven, I think you're overreacting.

Dad, you are absolutely right. You got to stamp this out.

You got to stop this before it spreads.

Alex, I take no comfort from the fact

that we are on the same side in this.

It's kind of unnerving, isn't it?

Oh, come on to bed, Steven.

How can you sleep when you know she's out there

in the middle of the night with him?

Does it look like I'm sleeping?

We've told him, Mallory home early.

We made it very clear, remember?

I drew him a little picture. He grunted.

You're just getting upset, honey.

It's not gonna do you any good.

I am upset. I've had enough.

Mallory's got to stop seeing Nick.

That's really something, Steven.

I remember before we were married, you said,

"if we ever have children,

"I'm not gonna tell them what to do.

And they're gonna have minds of their own."

I take it back.

Elyse, nothing I said before right now has any bearing.

I'm not anything I used to be.

I gave all that up to become a father.

I'm nothing else now - just a father.

Well, father, if you lay down the law

and you tell Mallory that she can't go out with Nick,

she's gonna get angry and she's gonna say,

"I'm gonna be 18.

I can do what I want, and you can't stop me."

That's what she's gonna say.

No, she won't.

She would not say that to her father,

not if I put it to her properly -

forcefully but tempered with sensitivity.

It's not a good idea, Steven.

Elyse, I need your support here.

If Mallory senses we aren't together in this,

we'll be slaughtered.

Steven, we're not at war.

Oh, yes, we are, Elyse.

We're at war with Rambo.

And we can beat him.

Hi. Sorry. We lost track of time.

Good evening, Mallory.

Good evening, Nick.

Hey.

It's a little late.

Hey, this probably isn't the best time to ask,

but, uh, me and Mallory want to go away next weekend.

So I got to know if it's okay so I can tell my cousin

so we can get the truck.

Well, you see, it's an ice-cream truck,

and he needs two days to defrost.

Probably not the best time to ask.

That's what I figured.

Hey, good night.

Good night, Nick.

Well, I guess I ought to go to bed.

Uh, sit down, Mallory. We want to talk to you.

Can't it wait? I'm really tired.

She's really tired.

No, no, please.

Mallory...

Your mother and I love you very, very much.

Don't we, Elyse?

Of course we do.

Of course we do.

And we have really liked so many of the young men

who have visited you here in our home.

Haven't we, Elyse?

We have.

Whatever happened to Walter Murchison?

We liked him so much.

A lot more than I did.

I miss Walter.

Wally.

Why don't you call him up, dad?

I'm sure he'd love to hear from you.

Mallory, we want to talk to you,

um, about Nick.

About you and Nick.

About you and not Nick.

Wait a minute.

What is this?

Are you saying you don't like Nick?

Is that it?

Are you saying you don't want me to see him anymore?

Us?

No.

No, we -

We - we - we don't want to say

that we're forbidding you to see him.

But that is what you're saying, isn't it?

We - we - we strongly recommend...

What are we saying, Elyse?

All right, you can't see him!

You're saying I can't see him?

Would you like me to sing it for you?

No!

Nick is the sweetest, nicest...

No!

I'm almost 18,

and I'm old enough to do what I want

and to see who I want,

and you can't stop me, you hear me?

You can't stop me!

Mallory is very upset,

and I think she has every right to be.

She doesn't realize that I did this for her own good.

She doesn't understand.

You don't understand.

Nobody understands what fathers go through.

We're the unknown men.

We trudge through life

pointing the way for our families,

working hard, paying those bills,

always with a smile on our face.

Always ready to make the tough choices.

Always there when we're needed.

But completely unrecognized.

That is the biggest load -

Mothers too.

Mothers too. Now, you get it worse.

You're completely unrecognized.

We don't do this for recognition.

We are parents, for crying out loud.

Well, I guess all this is just very new to me.

Who are all these people coming to our door

wanting our daughter?

I hate them.

That's probably not the perfect attitude.

Probably not.

I just don't know what to do.

You know, we don't really know this boy, Steven.

We have no way of knowing what Nick is really like.

We've had some strong hints.

But Mallory thinks the world of him.

Don't you think we at least owe it to her

to give him the benefit of the doubt?

To try to get to know him better?

Well, Mallory won't talk to me.

I tried everything.

Even faked being sensitive.

No sale.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on. What is all the gloom about?

You guys should be rejoicing.

You did the right thing. Oh, don't say that.

No, no, no, no. You are my heroes.

You drove the Pagan from the village.

I salute you.

Well, don't salute us, Alex.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Uh, you're not thinking of changing your mind.

No, dad. No, don't.

Look, we cannot have these guys coming around here,

sniffing around our women.

Dad, I appeal to you.

You have made a responsible and courageous decision.

When I heard that you told Mallory

that she couldn't see Nick anymore,

I said to myself, "what a dad."

Dad, I have never in my entire life

been prouder of you than I am at this moment.

Mallory, let's invite Nick to dinner.

Did you say something, dear?

No. No, I didn't.

Are you sure? It sounded like you -

I just coughed.

Oh, I see.

I see.

Well, if you say something, I'm ready to respond.

Great, dad. I'll look forward to that.

Hey, this is really nice.

Uh, you guys eat like this all the time?

You mean with utensils?

Don't mind Alex. He's a little strange.

Hey, he's all right.

He's a cute little guy. He's just...

He's just a little stiff is all.

You know what you could use, Alex?

No. No. What could I use, Nick?

An earring.

Nah.

No, I don't - I don't think so.

No, no, really.

It'll get you loose.

Here.

No, no, no, Nick.

I enjoy being tight.

What kind of things are you interested in, Nick?

I'm interested in Mallory.

Yes, indeed.

Uh, how about school?

How about school?

Uh, do you go to school? No.

Uh, can you expand on that?

Yeah, like, uh, when school's on, I'm not there.

Ah.

Really, dad, I mean, there are other things

to talk about besides school.

No one's even asked him about his art.

Hey, it's okay.

No, you love to talk about your art.

Dad, ask him.

Um, so, uh, Nick, um...

How did you get interested in this environmental art?

I don't know.

Uh, can you expand on that?

I...

Don't...

Know.

Very good.

Uh, getting back to the school issue -

No, come on, dad. Nick was talking about art.

You interrupted him.

Sorry, Nick. Uh, didn't mean to cut you off like that.

Uh, what were you going to say after,

"I...

"don't...

Know"?

I...

Don't...

Remember.

Would anybody like some more peas?

Right here, yep. These are awfully good.

You know, environmental art

isn't the only thing Nick knows about.

He has a wide range of interests.

Here's a thought that just occurred to me, Nick.

Don't you think a person needs an education?

Not every person. Not every person?

Come on, dad - excuse me, Mallory.

How can a person make a living without an education?

I don't know. Why don't you ask somebody who's educated?

I don't think a person

needs an education to answer that question.

Can you tell these peas are fresh?

I guess what I really want to know, Nick -

Hey, look, I was invited here for a meal, you know?

But this doesn't feel like a meal.

It feels like a test.

And I'm sorry I'm not the kind of guy you're looking for.

I'm not smart, I'm not cultured,

and I'm not sophisticated.

You know, I'm not no Charles Bronson.

I hope you're proud of yourselves.

You just embarrassed me

in front of someone I really care about.

Hey, Mal, Mal, Mal, don't worry about it.

He won't retain this night in his memory.

You think that's all that counts, huh, Alex?

Everyone's got to be smart.

Mallory, it's for your own good.

You're a snob, you know that?

I know that.

I wanted you to see in Nick what I see in him,

but you didn't give him a chance.

You know, it's like - it's like you don't trust my judgment.

If this had been Alex,

you would not have acted this way.

Oh, Mal, you have to understand -

No, come on, dad.

I can't remember one time

when you've interfered in Alex's personal life.

Alex can do whatever he wants. That's the way it's always been.

Well, Mallory, if we've given Alex more freedom

in his personal life,

it's only because he's a boy and you're a girl.

Go ahead. I'd like to hear the rest of that.

I can't believe you just said that, dad.

Hang tough, hang tough. Looking good.

So, what are you saying, dad?

I can't go out with guys for the rest of my life?

Oh, no, no, no, honey.

For the rest of my life.

Dad, why are you doing this?

I don't know, Mal. I give up.

I can't defend it anymore.

I know I'm on shaky ground.

What can I say?

You can say you'll let me see Nick 'cause I care about him.

What else can I say?

Dad, I'm not blind, you know?

I can see why you don't like Nick,

but I do, very much,

and I'm just asking you to trust my judgment.

Mal...

All your life I've watched over you,

I've worried about you,

I've tried to protect you.

Now you're getting older,

it's not easy to let you make your own decisions,

especially when I don't agree with them.

Dad, you and mom have taught me to be a good person.

And you've done your job.

Now you have to trust me to go out and live my own life.

Oh, hello, Nick. Uh, good to see you.

Hey, everybody. Nick.

I've been standing out there at the curb

trying to get myself to leave.

But I can't.

Well, come on in and sit down.

I'll stand.

I've got to say something to you.

First of all,

I apologize about before for being rude and running out.

I don't think you're the only one

who needs to apologize here, Nick.

Elyse?

Okay, look,

I know I don't look like what you want,

and I know I don't sound like what you want,

and maybe I'm not what you want in any way.

Maybe if I'd grown up nice and refined like Mallory

and Jennifer and even Alex there...

...maybe I'd feel comfortable around people like you.

And maybe if I was comfortable, I'd know what to say,

but I don't.

I think you do.

No. But you got to understand one thing.

I really like Mallory,

and I wouldn't hurt her for the world.

I'm not gonna see her if you don't want me to,

but I really like her,

so I hope you don't not want me to see her.

We don't, Nick.

You don't what?

We don't not want you to stop not seeing Mallory.

Not in any way.

Huh?

I mean, as far as not seeing Mallory is concerned,

we are not going to say you cannot stop not doing that.

Let's say I wanted to see Mallory.

What would happen?

Honestly, I don't know, Nick.

You can see her, right, Steven?

Well, I guess what we're trying to say, Nick, is, um...

We do trust Mallory.

She likes you. You like her.

We're not gonna stand in your way.

You mean it, dad? I mean it, Mal.

Hey, dad, let's remember this night

so we don't have to go through it again when I'm 18, okay?

Hey, uh, Jennifer,

you know, I got this little brother at home

that maybe you'd really go for.

Let's take one step at a time.