Original subtitles

♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love each other through ♪

♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

What an incredible meal, Elyse.

Oh, thanks, Julia.

Someday, I'm gonna write an article about cooking.

Do you think I have to learn how to cook first?

Not necessarily, mom.

You wrote an article about Eskimo mating rituals

and you never...

Bad example.

You know, mom, I'm really jealous.

Since we've seen them last,

they've been to Alaska, Russia, China, Tibet.

What's our next trip gonna be?

Well, uh, in June,

your cousin Harold's getting married in Pittsburgh.

Wow. We better get our passports ready.

Well, the projector's set up. Uh, where are the slides, Julia?

I'll get them. They're in my bag.

Boy, Alex is gonna be so excited

when he comes home and finds you here.

Excited or panicked?

You know, Alex was intimidated by you when he was younger,

but I'm sure he's over that by now.

Who are you kidding? I bet he's still terrified of her.

Oh, who's supposed to be doing dishes tonight?

- Alex. - Alex.

Who's on backup?

- Jennif... - Mallory.

Oh, we have two winners tonight... Jennifer and Mallory.

So, where's Alex? Why isn't he home yet?

I have to be honest, Carrie...

I don't usually worry about that sort of thing.

I see you two are as close as ever.

Carrie, I've never understood why you're attracted to him.

Neither have I. That's the beauty of it.

What do you possibly see in him?

Well, for one thing, I like the fact that I can beat him up.

We all do.

Boy, I love it when Carrie and her mom are here.

It's like "My Dinner with Andre."

With who?

It's a movie.

Oh.

Alex, where have you been? You missed dinner.

I just spent two hours arguing with Dr. Schulte

about the school dress code.

Our school doesn't have a dress code.

Does now.

I wouldn't wear that to school tomorrow, if I were you.

You really think you're hot stuff, huh, Alex?

Pretty hot, yeah.

You're sitting on top of the world, aren't you?

You bet.

Remember Carrie Newman?

Uh, c-Carrie Newman?

Yeah. What does she have to do with anything?

She's in the living room.

Ah... Ah, ge... Uh... Carrie...

Carrie Newman is in this house now?

Oh, my god.

He's so cute when he falls apart.

Ever since you two were kids,

she's had you running around in circles.

I love it.

Come on, Jennifer. Let's get the rest of the dishes.

Don't leave me.

Ah...

All right. All right. Don't panic.

You're older now.

You're more mature.

You can handle this.

I got to get out of here.

Hi, Alex.

Carrie!

I-I was just coming in.

You always enter a room backwards?

I'm breaking in a new pair of shoes.

Uh, you look great, Carrie.

That's quite an outfit.

Thanks. I found it in a flea market in Brazil.

Belonged to an Amazon woman who had many male slaves.

You don't look so bad yourself.

Ah, thanks. Uh, J. C. Penney's, Toledo.

Never worn by anyone else.

Uh, c-Carrie, uh, now, don't try anything, okay?

My parents are in the next room.

Take it easy, Alex.

All I want is a friendly "hello" hug.

How about a friendly "hello" wave?

Mom!

You don't hug easy, Alex.

So, uh...

How long are you and your mom in town for this time?

Overnight? Couple of days?

We're back for good.

Oh...

Julia took a job as regional correspondent for newsweek.

We're staying with you until our house is ready.

Alex, you're hyperventilating.

T-there's nothing hyper about this ventilating.

It's good to see you, Alex.

Old friends are special friends.

It's good to see you, too, Carrie.

You know, Alex, the last time I saw you,

you were wearing a blond wig and pinafore.

That whole thing was your idea.

Remember, you wanted to paint my picture.

"Alex in Wonderland."

What do you say we go out tomorrow night?

Out of the question.

C-Carrie, it is the man's responsibility

to make the advances, a-and...

And it's the woman's duty to fight him off.

A-anyway, if we were to go out, I should be the one to ask.

Okay. Ask.

Well, I can't ask if you're telling me to ask.

I mean, that's the same as yo asking me.

I am the man. I call the shots.

Mom!

Aw, there they are.

4 years old... Carrie and Alex taking a bath.

Can we, uh, speed it up a little, please?

Let's give everyone a chance to study the slide, Alex.

This isn't film school, dad.

Wasn't Alex adorable?

He looks so round and soft and cuddly.

Like a gerbil.

- Aww. - Aww. -Aww.

Sorry... last slide.

Well, those were great!

- Thanks, Julia. - You're welcome.

Carrie developed a lot of the recent ones herself.

I've got a darkroom in the house.

I bet you do.

Hi.

Yeah. Sure.

Victor!

You want to come in and meet some of my friends?

No.

Uh, I mean, I can't. Uh, my motor's running.

Yeah, I can see that.

Victor. So nice to see you.

Well, see you all later.

Have a good time.

Uh, nice almost meeting you.

Yeah. Sure.

Wow. Victor's a real hunk. Where'd she meet him?

We used to live next door to his parole officer.

Parole officer?

Mrs. Newman, how can you let her go out with a guy like that?

I trust Carrie.

I am opposed to this date.

I just want to say, for the record,

that I am opposed to this.

So recorded.

You know, this whole thing is my fault.

I mean, if I had gone out with Carrie, like she asked me to,

she wouldn't have to go out with societal dregs.

Alex is jealous.

You're dying to go out with her,

but you don't have the guts to do it.

No, no, no. That... that... That's where you're wrong.

I'm gonna ask her out.

But not because I want to.

I'll do it because duty calls me.

I owe it to Carrie to save her from herself.

I've got to be strong for both of us.

She is... is a ship t-that has lost her way in the night...

And I'm her lighthouse.

I've got to show her the way.

And if I succeed,

we'll both be better human beings...

And better citizens.

Sounds like a fun date.

Alex. I thought you went to bed hours ago.

Where could she be?

I'm telling you, Carrie is headed for trouble.

Someone has got to show her

how a proper young lady should act.

Let me guess who that someone should be.

I have got our whole date planned.

It's gonna be a very wholesome evening.

I thought we'd start

with a quick trip through the Art Museum.

Good choice.

They're having a wonderful exhibit on the Rrenaissance nude.

Probably wouldn't have been time, anyway.

Oh, okay, okay.

First, we'll go to the Red Cross, donate blood.

Then, uh, I figured we'd tail the bookmobile for a while.

And if time permits,

we'll go to the orphanage, pass out lollipops.

Alex, you don't go to any of these places.

Well, I'm not doing this for me, mom.

I'm doing this for Carrie.

Why don't you just admit that you want to go out with her

because you like her?

Like her?

Mom, I am doing this because I'm her friend.

I am not romantically attracted to her at all.

Hi, Alex.

Hi, Carrie.

Nope. No attraction there.

Well, it's late.

I think maybe we should all be going up now, don't you?

Come on, Elyse. They don't need ushers.

Kids...

Why did you wait up for me, Alex?

Oh, I-i didn't wait up.

I'm always up at this hour.

I-I happen to be something of a night owl.

I-I move by the rhythms of the night.

Where have you been?

Dancing.

There are no dance clubs open at this hour.

Streets are open. The parks are open.

You want to dance, you can dance wherever you are.

Even in the kitchen.

Okay, you can lead.

C-Carrie, I don't want to dance.

I want to talk.

We can dance and talk at the same time.

No, not me. I-i have to dance, talk, and, uh, count.

Okay, Alex. What is it?

Uh, Carrie, I'd...

I'd like to offer you a unique experience with me

that will change your life.

I like a man with confidence.

Ah, uh, Carr... Carrie...

I think t-that you and I should go out.

Great. It's a little late, but what the hell. Let's go.

No, no. N-n-not now. Tomorrow night.

Oh, okay. I'm free tomorrow night.

You know what'd be really wild?

W-wait a minute, Carrie. Carrie, I am planning this date.

I decide what we do and... and when we do it

and how much we enjoy it.

All... All you have to do

is, uh, be ready w-when I pick you up.

Okay. Which room do you want to pick me up in?

Right, I-i forgot.

We're, uh, staying in the same house.

In the next room.

Well, I better rest up for tomorrow night.

Good night, Alex.

"Unique experience" that will change my life.

I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep now.

Come on, Mallory. Will you get out of the bathroom already?

You've been in there for the better part of the century.

Sorry, Alex.

Next time, I'll just take a sponge bath.

Uh, dad, I didn't know you were in there.

I told Mallory to let me know as soon as she came out.

I got to have a shower before my date.

What time are you going out?

8:00.

Just under three hours.

If you hurry, you'll make it.

I'm sorry, Alex.

I-I just... I didn't know anybody was in there.

Oh, hey, the shower curtain was closed.

T-the water was running. How could you tell?

My mind must have been somewhere else.

Go ahead. Finish your shower.

I'm too tense now.

I might drown.

Tell you what... We can take one together,

and then I can save you if you start to drown.

C-Carrie, please, will you just go in and take your shower?

I'd like to be alone right now.

Okay, okay.

By the way, don't bother to change.

You look great.

Alex.

Are there any more women coming upstairs, or is this it?

Do you want me to call my brownie troop?

Why not? W-w-why not?

I-I have no dignity left.

You didn't start out with much.

Alex?

I forgot to give you your robe.

Uh, yeah. This is my robe, all right.

Alex, I'm shocked!

Doesn't look like the start

of the world's most wholesome date to me.

Hey, this is, uh, quite a place.

Don't you think?

Uh, it's everything I thought it would be, Alex.

Where's Donny and Marie?

Hi. I'm your waitress... Sherry.

Hi. I'm your customer... Alex.

Uh, this is Carrie.

Oh, wow!

Sherry and Carrie.

Isn't that cute? Our names almost rhyme.

It's staggering. I... imagine the odds.

Ah.

So, what will the gang be having?

Uh, two apple pie and two glasses of milk.

No, wait.

Actually, make that one glass of milk...

Two straws.

Uh, I hope I'm not being too forward.

You cad.

I'll be right back.

Don't miss me.

We won't.

You know, it's really nice to be here with you, Carrie.

Thank you.

It's nice to be with you, Alex.

I was... Kind of hoping we could go somewhere with...

A little more ambience.

More romantic.

More intimate, maybe some candlelight.

Uh, there's candlelight right over there.

Alex, would you say

that I've been a pretty good sport tonight?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Did I complain when you took me to the bingo finals

at the Senior Citizens' Home?

No.

Did I complain when we went to the Immigration Center

to watch new citizens being sworn in?

No.

Alex, let's get out of here! Come on!

We could go skydiving, horseback riding,

dancing.

I know a great club and a really hot band.

I want to get crazy with you, Alex.

Don't you want to get crazy with me?

Yeah.

I-I mean, no. No! No. We can't.

Why not?

Because it defeats the whole purpose of this night.

We can have fun without... Having fun.

Alex, you can't tell me this is a normal date for you.

The purpose of tonight was not to have a normal date.

Well, you've succeeded there.

This is not the Alex that I wanted to go out with.

My Alex made me laugh.

He made me feel special.

And I could make him laugh and feel special.

Where is he tonight?

That... that Alex has no place here.

I'm here instead.

Carrie, I'm worried about you.

What are you talking about?

You know what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about the... the way you act,

the... the way you dress, the way you talk.

You don't act like a girl should act.

Y-you should be more like...

Sherry?

What is wrong with Sherry?

You put a brain in that head, you got a real special girl.

So that's what tonight was all about?

You were trying to show me how to be a good little girl?

Carrie, you've got to settle down before you do some damage.

I just want you to have some pride, some self-respect.

I just want you to see that there are other options.

You're right.

There are other options.

And I'm going to exercise one of them right now.

See you 'round, Alex.

Oh, hi, Alex.

Hi, dad.

Up kind of late, aren't you?

To be honest, uh, I'm waiting up for Mallory.

I know it's old-fashioned,

but, uh, every time she goes out with a new boy,

I can't help worrying a little.

I didn't know that.

That's because I usually worry upstairs.

There's a lot more to worry about

with girls than with boys, isn't there?

Not more worries... Just, uh, different ones.

But you would say

that a girl has to be more careful than a guy?

You know, worry more about her reputation,

her demeanor, the way she acts in public.

Where's Carrie?

She walked out on me.

All I was trying to do was help her,

and that's the thanks I get.

Maybe she didn't want to be helped.

Maybe she's, uh, happy the way she is.

Well, maybe she's happy with it, but I'm not.

I guess that's the real problem, isn't it?

Mm-hmm.

Why am I driving myself crazy?

I mean, she's not gonna change.

Not likely.

I-I guess I better just...

Forget about her, huh?

That would solve the problem.

Yeah.

You're right. It would.

Thanks, dad. Good night.

Good night, Alex.

Why do I have to be the one to change?

Because you want to be with her.

You know what I feel like when Carrie and I are together?

I-I feel like an astronaut

who never went through the training program.

I'm out there in some other world,

and I don't even know how to fly the ship.

Well, then, uh...

You were lucky to be with someone who does.

Yeah.

Guess you're right. I am lucky.

It's pretty amazing out there.

I know.

I married an astronaut myself.

Uh, dad...

If, uh, boys and girls are supposed to be treated the same,

how come you're waiting up for Mallory?

'Cause you're already home.

Uh, well, uh...

Think I'll finish my waiting upstairs.

I just want to say right off, I don't know why I came back.

I think I do.

You wanted to tell me what a jerk I was,

h-how rude I was,

how obnoxious, presumptuous, manipulative.

Keep going. I think you're onto something.

Carrie, I-i am sorry.

Boy, this evening really backfired.

I wanted to reform you, to turn you into a real lady,

and instead...

Instead what?

I think maybe you already are a lady.

It's just that y-you're a different kind of lady

from the kind of lady that I think about

when I think about the word "lady."

Alex, what if I decided

to become the good little girl you want me to be?

Do you really think either of us would be happy with that?

I don't know.

Carrie, we're so different.

Why do we like each other so much?

Because we are so different.

Because we see in each other

something we don't see in ourselves.

And that's what it's always been about, Alex.

What are we gonna do?

What we want to do.

I'm glad I asked.

Will you go out with me tonight?

I already did.

No, no, no. I mean, again. It's still early.

I know a real romantic place.

Great ambience.

Sounds nice.