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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
2
00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:23,150
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
3
00:00:23,180 --> 00:00:26,080
♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
4
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,880
♪ on the night we kissed
5
00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:34,110
♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
6
00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:37,080
♪ what would we do, baby
7
00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:39,850
♪ without us?
8
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,480
♪ what would we do, baby
9
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,110
♪ without us?
10
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,750
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
11
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,550
♪ we can't love
each other through ♪
12
00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:51,010
♪ ooh-hoo
13
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:54,110
♪ what would we do, baby
14
00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:56,750
♪ without us?
15
00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:00,280
♪ sha-la-la-la
16
00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:05,150
So, uh, basically,
what we're looking for
17
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,930
is one more helping hand
around the house
18
00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:08,470
while my wife
is off her feet.
19
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:10,370
Then help with the baby
after it's born.
20
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,970
Uh, light housework, uh,
21
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,000
shopping, errands, cooking,
that kind of thing.
22
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,900
I believe the, uh, salary
is listed there in the ad.
23
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,570
I thought
it was a misprint.
24
00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:29,100
Uh, no, that's... That's
the right figure.
25
00:01:29,140 --> 00:01:31,370
But you have three children,
Mr. Keaton.
26
00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:33,610
What you're offering me
is barely enough
27
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,570
if you have two children.
28
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:37,640
Either you'll have to
pay me more,
29
00:01:37,670 --> 00:01:39,670
or get rid of
one of your children.
30
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,340
Um, I, uh, take it you don't
like children?
31
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:48,320
Children make messes,
32
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,170
all kinds of messes.
33
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,870
And messes make germs,
34
00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:55,510
nasty little germs.
35
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:57,970
And germs carry disease,
36
00:01:58,010 --> 00:02:01,310
disease which
erodes the living tissue,
37
00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:03,470
the very fiber of life.
38
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,680
We'll be in touch.
39
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,840
Believe me, this has
been a pleasure.
40
00:02:21,810 --> 00:02:23,180
I liked her.
41
00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:26,540
Dad, there's one more
person left to interview.
42
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,680
All right.
43
00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:29,350
Maybe we'll be
lucky this time, Alex.
44
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,280
Uh, send her in, Jen.
45
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,310
Come on in.
46
00:02:37,010 --> 00:02:39,150
Show him
your tattoo, Max.
47
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:40,480
My pleasure.
48
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:42,550
Uh, we really don't
need to see it.
49
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,350
You sure?
No charge.
50
00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:47,180
I'm sure. Uh, girls,
why don't you go upstairs,
51
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,920
keep Mom company?
52
00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:50,420
Oh, okay. Bye, Max.
53
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:51,880
Bye, doll face.
54
00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:56,950
I'm, uh, Steven Keaton,
55
00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:58,780
and this is, uh,
my son Alex.
56
00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:00,230
Max Schneider. Charmed.
57
00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:01,650
Yeah, uh,
please sit down.
58
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,370
So, um, you want
to be a housekeeper?
59
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,980
That's right.
Housekeeper and nanny.
60
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,480
And can you cook?
61
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,350
Julia Child is my aunt.
62
00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:19,620
Um, how are you
with children?
63
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:22,550
Great. I got kids
all over the world.
64
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:28,090
Uh, now, these are just
routine questions.
65
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,880
Uh, let's, uh...
66
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,750
Have you ever
been in prison?
67
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,020
Six years.
68
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,020
Well, we'll be in touch.
69
00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:41,320
Hey, you know,
70
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,990
I got really good vibes
about you people.
71
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:47,120
This here could
finally be my niche.
72
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,020
Well, uh, thank you very much
for coming, Mr. Schneider.
73
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,490
Did I mention that I know how
to operate a drill press?
74
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,460
Uh, n-no, no.
No, you didn't.
75
00:03:57,490 --> 00:03:59,090
Put it down, kid, huh?
76
00:03:59,130 --> 00:04:00,160
Take care.
77
00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:03,760
I think...
78
00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:08,860
I think I've had about enough
of this for one night.
79
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:11,020
You can screen anyone else
who comes along.
80
00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:14,390
If you see anyone good, uh,
I'll be upstairs working.
81
00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:16,440
Give me a call.
Okay, Dad.
82
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,420
Whoa.
83
00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:20,290
Coming, coming.
84
00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,790
Hello, I'm Karen Nicholson.
85
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:29,000
I've come to apply for
the housekeeping position.
86
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,760
You have?
87
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:36,860
Yes.
88
00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:40,030
Uh, come in, come in.
89
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,160
Uh, here.
90
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:46,530
Thank you.
91
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,130
Won't you
please sit down?
92
00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:55,700
Okay.
93
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,900
I, uh, have a few
questions here
94
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,830
I must ask you.
95
00:05:01,430 --> 00:05:02,700
Uh...
96
00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,330
Uh, do you have
any references?
97
00:05:07,130 --> 00:05:09,130
No.
98
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:11,530
Uh, do you, uh,
have any experience
99
00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:13,470
a- a-as a housekeeper?
100
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,800
No.
101
00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:17,330
Okay.
102
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:18,800
Uh, can you cook?
103
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,900
Uh, cook?
104
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,270
No.
105
00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:27,640
So you, uh...
You have no experience,
106
00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:28,740
uh, no references,
107
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:30,670
and, uh...
And you can't cook.
108
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:32,100
That's right.
109
00:05:35,740 --> 00:05:37,000
You're hired.
110
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,430
Congratulations.
111
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,370
Come on, Dad, have a little
faith in my judgment, okay?
112
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,640
As soon as you
get to know her,
113
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,640
you will realize that I made
the correct decision.
114
00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:47,940
That is not the point, Alex.
115
00:05:47,970 --> 00:05:49,270
You had no right
to hire anyone
116
00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:50,540
without
consulting me first.
117
00:05:50,570 --> 00:05:52,470
Well, Dad, I knew
you were working,
118
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:54,910
and I didn't see any point
in bothering you.
119
00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:57,190
Besides, Dad,
in my wildest imaginations,
120
00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:59,440
I couldn't dream
of a better woman...
121
00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:04,840
for the job.
122
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:08,240
Is that Miss Nicholson
here yet?
123
00:06:08,270 --> 00:06:10,070
Nope, nope, not yet.
124
00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:13,840
I hope you didn't hire some
dumpy-looking old lady, Alex.
125
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,440
Jennifer, you shouldn't
be so concerned
126
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,310
with the way
a person looks.
127
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,040
How can you
be so shallow?
128
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,340
I hired the person
129
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,140
who I thought
was best for the job.
130
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,710
I don't even remember
what she looked like.
131
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:34,230
Hi, Alex.
132
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:35,710
Hi, Karen.
133
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,980
Is it coming back
to you, Alex?
134
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:43,510
Uh, ahem, Dad,
Jennifer, Mallory,
135
00:06:43,550 --> 00:06:47,010
I would like you to meet
our new housekeeper.
136
00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:49,480
It's nice to meet all of you.
I'm Karen Nicholson.
137
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,880
Hi.
Our pleasure.
138
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,550
Alex didn't mention
he had two sisters.
139
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,580
I forgot.
140
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,450
Oh, that's for us.
141
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:58,450
Bye.
Bye.
142
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,880
It was nice meeting you.
Thank you.
143
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,150
Yeah, um,
see you later.
144
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:02,820
Okay, bye.
145
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:05,110
Well, hey, uh,
146
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:06,850
why don't we all
get better acquainted, huh?
147
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,350
Let's... Let's sit down.
Good idea. Come on, Karen.
148
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:11,680
Ah, I'll get that, Dad.
149
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,680
There we go.
150
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,620
Mr. Keaton...
Watch the table, Karen.
151
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:18,410
It's a little wobbly.
Oh, yeah.
152
00:07:18,450 --> 00:07:21,420
Mr. Keaton, I just want to
thank you so much for this job.
153
00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:23,620
You have no idea how much
it means to me.
154
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:25,950
Well, uh, Alex told me how well
the interview went
155
00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:29,150
and, uh, based on that, I have
complete confidence in you.
156
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:31,220
I am so relieved
to hear you say that.
157
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,100
You know, in your ad,
you said you were looking
158
00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:35,360
for someone with experience
as a housekeeper.
159
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,590
When I read that
I didn't figure I had a shot.
160
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,690
Uh, you, uh...
You have no experience?
161
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,260
Well, Dad, she means
she has no experience
162
00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,690
in the literal sense.
163
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,650
But as Jean-Paul Sartre said,
164
00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:55,060
isn't the act
of simply being alive,
165
00:07:55,090 --> 00:07:56,190
you know,
suffering through
166
00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:58,620
the existential angst
that is life,
167
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:02,420
isn't that...?
168
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:05,720
Isn't that the best kind
of experience...
169
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,790
for being a housekeeper?
170
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:19,690
You ever see
Sartre's house?
171
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,430
I'm a quick learner,
Mr. Keaton, you'll see,
172
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:28,860
and I'm very eager
to get started.
173
00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:31,560
Well, there is something
to be said for enthusiasm.
174
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,730
Absolutely.
175
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,830
It's the most important
trait in a housekeeper.
176
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:38,100
That, and a little
button nose.
177
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,200
I do have something
you can do, uh, Karen.
178
00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:47,860
My wife should be
getting up soon
179
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,490
and she's going to
want some breakfast.
180
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,500
I've got to get going here,
so would you mind?
181
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:52,630
What does she like to eat?
182
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:54,530
Well, a couple
of eggs, usually.
183
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,760
Eggs. No problem.
184
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,130
Eggs...
185
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:01,360
Eggs?
186
00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:04,160
In the refrigerator.
187
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,160
Hey.
188
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,900
How...? How does
she like them?
189
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:13,830
Uh, a little boiled.
Okay.
190
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,700
There we go.
Thanks.
191
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:19,200
Okay.
192
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:24,800
That's not right, is it?
193
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,450
No, no, no,
that's... That's okay.
194
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:28,070
I mean, some people
boil eggs one way,
195
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,900
and some people...
196
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:31,700
boil them another.
197
00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,470
That's what makes
America great.
198
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,030
I could tape it up.
199
00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,070
Uh, n...
200
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,670
Uh, no, no, um,
201
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,800
she doesn't
like them taped.
202
00:09:44,070 --> 00:09:45,900
Well, here, I'd better
start over again.
203
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:46,970
Oh!
204
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,270
I'll get that tape.
205
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:57,270
I'm having so much fun.
206
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,770
This is the first load
of laundry I've ever done here.
207
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,270
Come to think of it,
it's the first load
208
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:02,410
of laundry
I've ever done.
209
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,500
I don't believe it.
210
00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:04,910
You've never
done laundry before?
211
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,220
That's right.
212
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:07,510
I believe her.
213
00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:16,270
Those were Dad's.
214
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,640
We'll just
give them to Alex.
215
00:10:24,270 --> 00:10:25,640
Hi.
216
00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:27,390
Alex, I'm glad you're here.
217
00:10:27,430 --> 00:10:29,080
Karen, I'm glad you're here.
218
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,640
I need you to help me
carry the table.
219
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,910
I... I took it outside to even up
the legs a little bit.
220
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:34,630
Oh, great.
Hey, let's celebrate.
221
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:36,310
How about, uh,
dinner and a show?
222
00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:40,010
Yeah, I love having
Karen around.
223
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,280
She's like the big
sister I never had.
224
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:44,250
Yeah, I feel the same way.
225
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,040
I... I mean, uh,
226
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,680
the even bigger sister
I've never had.
227
00:10:56,350 --> 00:10:57,510
Okay, watch your back.
228
00:10:57,550 --> 00:10:58,610
Here we go.
229
00:10:58,650 --> 00:10:59,880
I hope this will
be all right.
230
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,180
I worked on it all day.
231
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:03,680
Oh, I'm sure
it'll be fine, Karen.
232
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:04,810
Here we go.
Thanks.
233
00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:06,080
There we go.
234
00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:17,580
Maybe it'll look okay
with the good china on it.
235
00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:19,250
Ah, that'll do it.
Hey, good idea.
236
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,550
Great idea.
Okay.
237
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:29,380
Think Dad will notice?
238
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:31,990
Only if he keeps
his eyes open.
239
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:33,180
Karen is so nice.
240
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:35,350
I don't want her
to get into trouble.
241
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,550
Now, now,
she doesn't have to.
242
00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:38,680
Not... Not if the three
of us stick together
243
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,790
and help her through
this little crisis.
244
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:42,620
I think she's great.
245
00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:44,020
All right.
Okay, then it's settled.
246
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:46,320
Listen, why don't we go
help her with that china, okay?
247
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:50,820
Oops.
248
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,190
Uh, hey, hi, Dad.
Have a good day?
249
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,160
Fine. What happened
to the table?
250
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:21,920
The, uh... The what?
251
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:22,960
The table.
252
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:26,320
That table used
to be a lot higher.
253
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,430
May... May... Maybe you just
shot up at work, Dad.
254
00:12:29,460 --> 00:12:31,790
You wear lifts?
Uh-huh. All right.
255
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,960
Hi, Mr. Keaton.
How was your day?
256
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,490
Uh, not... Not too bad.
257
00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,060
Say, Karen,
would you happen to know...?
258
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,530
Oh, Daddy,
we love you so much.
259
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,960
Where did you
get that tailored?
260
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,220
It looks great.
Okay, fine.
261
00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:46,430
Would... Would you
happen to know
262
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,090
what happened
to that table?
263
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:50,060
Oh, I fixed it.
264
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,730
You fixed it?
265
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,680
Let's, uh,
set the table, girls.
266
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:57,800
Mr. Keaton,
I just want you to know
267
00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,600
this has been
the best day of my life.
268
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,620
I spent three hours
with your wife.
269
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,600
I can tell you
she's a wonderful woman.
270
00:13:03,630 --> 00:13:04,760
Thank you.
271
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,690
And Mallory and...
And Jenny here,
272
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:08,830
I just feel like I've
known them all day.
273
00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:10,850
Of course, I have.
274
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,800
And this boy here...
275
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:15,400
Oh, he's like
the brother I never had.
276
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,030
Don't... Don't think of me
as your brother.
277
00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:23,100
Think... Think of me as a guy.
278
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:25,780
The... The... The guy
you never had.
279
00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:28,430
Actually,
the guy you could have.
280
00:13:29,970 --> 00:13:31,730
Come on, everybody, let's eat.
Great.
281
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:36,970
Okay. Boy, I'm looking
forward to this, Karen.
282
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,470
This is gonna be good.
283
00:13:39,670 --> 00:13:41,700
I know you're really
gonna love this salad.
284
00:13:47,230 --> 00:13:49,100
Yum.
285
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:50,970
Boy, looks good.
286
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,840
Got to admit, Dad.
She's working out, huh?
287
00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:01,430
Yo.
288
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:02,800
Hey, Dad.
289
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,140
Hi, Alex.
290
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,370
How...? Uh, how did things go
around the house today?
291
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:09,990
Oh, great. Great, Dad.
292
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:11,540
Karen is doing great.
293
00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:13,470
You know, she only
broke the, uh, vacuum,
294
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,940
the blender and the TV.
295
00:14:15,970 --> 00:14:18,340
She's getting better.
296
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:20,610
Yeah, and she... She fixed
the stuff she broke yesterday.
297
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,740
The, uh, toaster, sink
and washing machine.
298
00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:25,340
So... So we're not
gaining any ground,
299
00:14:25,380 --> 00:14:26,970
but, uh, we're not
losing any.
300
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,810
We're holding steady, Dad.
301
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,210
Hey, hey, can I fix you
a cold drink?
302
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,190
Uh, the ice maker's
not working, Alex.
303
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:37,990
Karen broke it a week ago.
No, no, no, no.
304
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:39,740
She told me that she
took care of it today.
305
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:41,010
I'll get it myself, Alex.
Thanks.
306
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:55,280
So, uh, how was your day
at school, Alex?
307
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,170
Real good.
Real good, Dad.
308
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:01,730
No, no. I... I mean specifically
that, uh, that English class.
309
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,240
You, uh... You said you were
having a little trouble with it.
310
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,110
Doing great, Dad.
I'm doing great.
311
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:14,480
Here, uh, hang on a sec.
312
00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:16,950
Take a look at that.
313
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:33,580
So, uh... So how are
the rest of your classes?
314
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:36,420
Good, Dad, good. I am, uh,
really glad I chose Leland.
315
00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:38,050
You know, and
the Economics department's
316
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,310
everything
I hoped it would be.
317
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,780
Who are we kidding, Alex?
318
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,740
She's not working out.
319
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,850
She's totally incompetent.
320
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:01,350
She has got to go.
321
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:04,190
Dad, will you quit being
such a perfectionist?
322
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:12,320
Alex, Alex...
323
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:13,920
Alex, look around you.
324
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:18,560
I'm afraid to, Dad.
325
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,890
Alex, this woman cannot do
one thing we need her to do.
326
00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:25,320
Okay, well, Dad,
let's keep thinking
327
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,320
until we think
of something that she can do.
328
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:28,350
Wha...?
329
00:16:28,390 --> 00:16:29,560
We have to fire her, Alex,
330
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,090
for our own safety.
331
00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:32,060
Look...
332
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:33,860
look.
333
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,930
If this had been
a Pop-Tart,
334
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:42,360
we'd be dead now.
335
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:45,690
Dad...
336
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:48,720
Dad, look, think of
Mallory and Jennifer.
337
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,090
They... They love Karen.
338
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:53,160
Th-this is gonna be very
upsetting to them,
339
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,590
not to mention
my fantasy life.
340
00:16:59,690 --> 00:17:02,030
We had a fabulous day.
341
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:05,430
Yeah, I've never seen so many
fat, naked women in my life.
342
00:17:06,630 --> 00:17:08,430
Where did you go, the Y?
343
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,700
We saw the Rubens Exhibit
at the Art Institute.
344
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,400
It was great.
345
00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:16,260
Yeah, Karen took us out
for ice cream afterwards.
346
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:17,630
We had so much
junk food today,
347
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,400
we could go without eating
for a week.
348
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,400
Good planning, Karen.
349
00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:25,100
Thank you.
350
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,730
Karen, uh,
351
00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:28,930
I'm glad you had
a nice time with the girls.
352
00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:30,130
Oh, it was fantastic.
353
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,260
But, uh...
354
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,070
Well, you've got
some responsibilities
355
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:34,660
in the house too.
356
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,800
I know, that's what
I love about this job.
357
00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:39,670
See, I can be indoors
or outdoors.
358
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,470
Well, excuse me,
I'm gonna go tell Mrs. Keaton
359
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,130
about all the fun
we had today.
360
00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,870
You make every day fun,
Karen.
361
00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:51,470
Alex.
362
00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:56,770
I know, Dad.
She's got to go.
363
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,170
I just wanted to get
one last compliment in.
364
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,540
W- w-we have to fire her.
We have no choice.
365
00:18:03,570 --> 00:18:05,470
All right, Dad, okay,
366
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,670
but let's do it as
humanely as possible, okay?
367
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:09,200
All right.
I've got an idea.
368
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,600
Look,
369
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,990
let's have the two of us
take her out to dinner.
370
00:18:13,020 --> 00:18:15,340
Probably the only way
we'll get something to eat.
371
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:19,000
You know, we'll... We'll...
We'll show her a good time,
372
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,440
uh, and, uh, kinda
squeeze the firing in
373
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:25,070
between, "pass the salt"
and "check, please. "
374
00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:27,100
Pass the salt,
please, Alex.
375
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,910
So soon, Dad?
376
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:34,200
Karen, um, I'd like to talk
to you about your work.
377
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,640
Oh, you know, I'm enjoying
myself so much at my new job,
378
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,410
it doesn't even seem
like work to me.
379
00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:43,340
It doesn't seem like work
to us, either.
380
00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,240
Good evening.
381
00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:47,680
Oh, hey.
It's the Keatons.
382
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,080
Dad, it's him.
It's the...
383
00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:51,310
Convict, huh?
384
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,580
Is that what you
were gonna say?
385
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,810
No. I was gonna say,
"Dad, it's him,
386
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:56,980
the nanny. "
387
00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:00,510
You know each other?
388
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,340
Yeah, I applied
for a job
389
00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:04,740
as their housekeeper,
but they turned me down.
390
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:06,040
Oh, really?
391
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,110
I feel so guilty.
They hired me.
392
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,550
I wonder why they
took you instead of me.
393
00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:15,580
What did you wear
to the interview?
394
00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:19,010
I wore my blue dress
with black heels.
395
00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:20,410
Heels!
396
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:25,750
I knew it, I knew it.
397
00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:29,910
I guess you got a lot
of experience as a housekeeper.
398
00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:31,980
No. I've had no experience.
399
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:34,850
Well, we all know what
Sartre says about experience.
400
00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:43,150
Karen, uh, we need to talk.
401
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,450
I know. We do.
402
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,280
You're a very nice person.
403
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,710
Nice? Come on, Dad.
You're more than nice.
404
00:19:48,750 --> 00:19:50,050
Excuse me, I have
to interrupt you.
405
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,120
I'm really starting
to feel guilty, here.
406
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,250
What do you mean?
407
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,620
Well, you take me
out to dinner
408
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,050
at a wonderful
medium-priced restaurant.
409
00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:00,520
You treat me
like one of your family
410
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:02,620
and now you're saying
all these nice things about me,
411
00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:05,020
but I've let you down.
412
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:06,450
You have?
413
00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:09,850
I know I've probably
kept it hidden from you,
414
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:12,920
but I'm not
a good housekeeper.
415
00:20:14,390 --> 00:20:16,380
Really?
416
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:18,150
It's been bothering me
ever since I started.
417
00:20:18,190 --> 00:20:20,090
I never should have
taken this job.
418
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,490
I came into your house
and ruined everything.
419
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,520
Well, not everything.
420
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:24,920
Look, let's face it, okay?
421
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:26,590
I'm a failure.
I'm not good at anything,
422
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:27,750
and I never will be.
423
00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:30,450
Karen, stop putting
yourself down like this.
424
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:33,470
This isn't the first job
that hasn't worked out for me.
425
00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:36,460
Don't feel bad. I... I'll just
move on to something else.
426
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:39,790
Oh, no, no, no, no,
Karen, please stay.
427
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,490
It's been wonderful,
428
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,290
but I can't do this
any longer.
429
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:51,720
Karen...
430
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:56,560
Boy, having a housekeeper
is hard work.
431
00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,190
I know, but it's worth it
432
00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:00,760
to keep Karen
around though.
433
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,160
Hi.
434
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:03,640
Uh, hi.
435
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,060
Hi.
436
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:06,880
Uh, where's Karen?
437
00:21:06,910 --> 00:21:08,660
Uh, girls, sit down.
438
00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:13,520
Uh, look, um, Karen, uh...
439
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,430
Karen won't be working
for us anymore.
440
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:17,030
You fired her?
441
00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:20,190
No.
442
00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:22,760
Certainly not.
443
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,060
Pfft.
444
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,390
They think that
we would fire Karen.
445
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:31,000
We... We tried to fire her.
446
00:21:31,030 --> 00:21:33,630
She quit before
we got around to it.
447
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:34,900
And you let her quit?
448
00:21:34,930 --> 00:21:37,280
She knew that she
wasn't doing a good job.
449
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,630
So, what does that have
to do with anything?
450
00:21:39,670 --> 00:21:41,330
She was my friend.
451
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,730
She was all
of our friends.
452
00:21:42,770 --> 00:21:45,160
I know, I know,
453
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,700
but we set out
to find a housekeeper,
454
00:21:46,730 --> 00:21:48,030
not a friend.
455
00:21:48,070 --> 00:21:50,570
Well, I'm really gonna
miss seeing her.
456
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,700
That goes triple for me.
457
00:21:57,070 --> 00:22:00,730
Everything in this kitchen
reminds me of her.
458
00:22:00,770 --> 00:22:02,530
Yeah. This is the stove,
459
00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:04,300
she didn't know how to use.
460
00:22:06,470 --> 00:22:09,870
And the sink where she used
to always break our dishes.
461
00:22:11,170 --> 00:22:13,900
And the toaster
where she started a fire.
462
00:22:15,570 --> 00:22:17,040
I think I'm gonna cry.
463
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,200
Well, it's gonna be tough
breaking this to your mom.
464
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,700
She was in the middle
of teaching Karen
465
00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:24,270
how to roll socks.
466
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,600
Well, look who's here.
467
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,800
Good to see you, Karen.
468
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,570
Uh, Mr. Keaton,
469
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,840
I've been doing
a lot of thinking.
470
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,170
Alex.
471
00:22:42,710 --> 00:22:44,640
Mr. Keaton,
472
00:22:44,670 --> 00:22:47,740
I've been doing
a lot of thinking, and...
473
00:22:47,780 --> 00:22:49,110
Well, see,
I've spent my whole life
474
00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:50,440
running away from things,
475
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:53,010
and I've decided it's time
for me to stop running.
476
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,410
I really want to make
a success of this job,
477
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,570
and you want me to stay,
478
00:22:56,610 --> 00:23:00,010
so I think it would
be wrong for me to leave.
479
00:23:00,050 --> 00:23:03,370
Nothing could be wronger,
right, Dad?
480
00:23:05,070 --> 00:23:06,580
Let's give it another try.
481
00:23:06,610 --> 00:23:08,310
Yay!
Hey, Karen.
482
00:23:08,340 --> 00:23:10,140
Oh, thanks, Mr. Keaton.
483
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,140
I want you to know
I'm really gonna try to improve.
484
00:23:12,180 --> 00:23:14,410
I know I wasn't
doing a good job before,
485
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,410
but that's gonna change.
You'll be surprised.
486
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,380
Great. Well,
you can start again tomorrow.
487
00:23:18,410 --> 00:23:19,630
No, no. I wanna start
right now.
488
00:23:19,660 --> 00:23:20,810
I know I ruined
your dinner,
489
00:23:20,850 --> 00:23:22,950
so I'd like to make you all
something to eat.
490
00:23:22,980 --> 00:23:24,210
No!
31826
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