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1
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,337
CHRIS ROCK:
After two years at Corleone,
2
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,506
I'd gotten used to being
the only black kid.
3
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,675
But it had two major
down sides.
4
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:11,045
One down side was,
I was the only black kid.
5
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,514
And the other was,
I was the only black kid.
6
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,683
Let's celebrate
the day Chris's people
7
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:19,187
finally realized
they were emancipated.
8
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,055
Happy Juneteenth,
Chris.
9
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,159
I thought that things
would never change.
10
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,632
Then Albert arrived.
11
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,604
I was excited
about Albert's arrival
12
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,672
and anxious for us to meet.
13
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,674
But I decided to play it cool.
14
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:41,842
What's up?
15
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,544
What's up?
16
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,815
All right.
17
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:51,051
I was cool on the outside
but inside I felt like this...
18
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:56,490
(hip-hop music playing)
19
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,839
Cool or not,
we were two of a kind.
20
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,283
* Ah, make it funky now.
21
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:41,502
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
22
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,774
The only one
who wasn't looking forward
23
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,777
to Albert being
at Corleone was Greg.
24
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,912
I'm going to go talk
to the new kid.
25
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,514
I've been dreading
this day.
26
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,516
What are you talking
about?
27
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,518
I always knew
that someday
28
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,253
someone would come
along that had more
29
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,322
in common with you.
30
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,191
Just 'cause he's black?
31
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,325
Greg, that's silly.
32
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,493
Not that silly.
33
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,528
I'll be back.
34
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,564
Sure you will.
35
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:13,401
Hey, welcome
to Corleone.
36
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,568
Hi, I'm Albert.
37
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:15,603
Hey, Chris.
38
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,605
Man, I was glad
to see you.
39
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,240
When I first got here,
40
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,309
I thought it was going
to be like my last school,
41
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:22,510
where I was the only
black kid.
42
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,444
Mm-hmm.
43
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,213
They really gave me
a hard time over there.
44
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:26,914
I got beat up
almost every day.
45
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,282
Same here.
46
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,317
What school did
you go to?
47
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,584
Strom Thurmond
Junior High.
48
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,220
The only black kids allowed
there
49
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,954
were children
of Strom Thurmond.
50
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,689
Well, now there's
two of us,
51
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,225
which is twice as much
as there was before.
52
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,692
So, we can have each
other's back.
53
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,228
That sounds like a plan.
54
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,229
(bell rings)
55
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,630
Oh, I got to go,
56
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,864
but we can hang
out later.
57
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:44,832
Cool.
58
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:50,971
I told you I'd be back.
59
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,307
Yeah, but for how long, Chris?
60
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,309
For how long?
61
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:59,347
That concludes another episode
of "As The Nerd Turns."
62
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,551
Class, we have a new student
with us.
63
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,219
Say hello to Albert!
64
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,288
ALL:
Hi, Albert.
65
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,756
Chris, you must
be so happy.
66
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,258
You must feel just
like Jackie Robinson
67
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,692
when Larry Doby
arrived.
68
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,228
More like Robert Perish
when Dennis Johnson showed up.
69
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,396
Who's Larry Doby?
70
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,399
He was the second black
man in baseball,
71
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:21,569
but he was taller than
Jackie and more...
72
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,337
strapping.
73
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,005
With his strong
shoulders
74
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,275
and Nubian profile.
75
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:30,678
His Cleveland Indians
uniform complimented
76
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,013
by the rich caramel
color of his skin.
77
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,983
And the way he
swung his bat.
78
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,885
(giggles)
79
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,019
Forget jungle fever.
80
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,854
She's having a jungle seizure.
81
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,490
Ms. Morello, are you okay?
82
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,492
Uh, yes.
83
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,328
Anyway...
84
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:50,030
after years of being alone
and ostracized,
85
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,534
you now have a soul brother.
86
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,004
Somebody to talk jive with
and to shoot dice with,
87
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,540
to talk about being raised
by MaDear with.
88
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,909
Just seeing the two of you
89
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,878
together would make your leaders
like Dr. King
90
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,880
and Uncle Remus proud.
91
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:10,050
Oh, happy day!
92
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,952
(giggles)
93
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,054
She might have been crazy,
but she was right.
94
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,291
I finally had somebody
I could really relate to.
95
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,528
(sighs)
96
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,530
Y'all, go put that stuff
in the kitchen.
97
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,532
Bills, bills...
98
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,568
more bills, junk mail.
99
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,572
Internal Revenue Service?
100
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,343
"We are pleased to inform you"
101
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,511
"estimated tax..."
102
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,513
Refund?
103
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:40,848
(gasps)
104
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:44,017
Oh, my God.
105
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:47,355
A tax refund check is
like a bonus for broke people.
106
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:50,524
A bonus which my mother
accepted with grace and class.
107
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:53,394
Kiss my ass, Visa!
108
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,363
Visa was actually the name
of the lady
109
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,698
who collected bills
for MasterCard.
110
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,533
This is way too much!
111
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,701
What's way too much?
112
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,336
Our refund, it's,
113
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,004
it's three times more
than what we were expecting.
114
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,939
That's how MC Hammer got
in trouble.
115
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,608
Cool, now we can finally
buy stuff
116
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,076
without having to put it
on layaway.
117
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,478
You got that
right.
118
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,480
Hey, don't take
your coats off.
119
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:14,348
Why, where are
we going?
120
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,115
Shopping!
121
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,517
We're going shopping!
122
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:19,753
The more time I spent
with Albert,
123
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,022
the more I found out
we had a lot in common.
124
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,457
Did you see
227 this week?
125
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,058
Aw, man,
how funny was that?
126
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,560
When Sandra pretended
to be Mary?
127
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,462
Then Lester comes home
and cold busts her?
128
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,464
Man, I love
that show!
Me, too!
129
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,933
Back then there were almost
no black shows on TV.
130
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,435
Kind of like it is now.
131
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,003
Anybody see
Kate & Allie?
132
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,137
No!
133
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,506
No.
134
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,107
Well, Kate convinced Allie
to accompany her
135
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,642
to their 20th high school
136
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,110
reunion where
Allie found herself
137
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,113
questioning her life's successes
and failures.
138
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,115
It could have been worse...
139
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,818
Greg never missed an episode
of Murder She Wrote.
140
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:54,121
Anyone who says money
can't buy happiness
141
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,357
never saw my mother
with her IRS refund couch.
142
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,163
Ooh, this is nice.
143
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,834
The tighter I got with Albert,
the more uptight Greg got.
144
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,868
Hey, Chris.
145
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,670
Do you want to come over
and play some video games?
146
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,104
Nah, we're gonna go
hang out.
147
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,473
You want to come?
148
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,273
Where are you going?
149
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,274
We're going to the
record store.
150
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,109
The twelve inch of
"The Show" just came out.
151
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:16,910
What show?
152
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,178
Doug E. Fresh.
153
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,413
Dougie who?
154
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,481
You know, Slick Rick...
155
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,882
(rapping):
La-di-da-di...
156
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,751
BOTH:
We like to party.
We don't cause trouble.
157
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,385
We don't bother nobody.
158
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:31,124
Chris, I don't think
your man likes rap.
159
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,159
Yeah, he does.
160
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,594
Come on, Greg.
161
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,095
No, that's okay.
162
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,564
You guys can go ahead.
163
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,330
You sure?
164
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,032
Yeah, I got lots
of homework to do.
165
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,868
All right,
I'll call you later.
166
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:45,038
While Greg had a negative
reaction to the brothers...
167
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,575
my mother was hoping
for a positive reaction
168
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,443
from my father.
169
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,711
We can't afford this.
170
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:51,779
Yes, we can.
171
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,614
I-I used our tax refund check.
172
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,115
Wait. When did that come?
173
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,617
The other day.
174
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:59,953
Look, Rochelle,
I had plans for that money,
175
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,656
that didn't include spending it
all on a couch.
176
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,658
But, baby,
we got triple the amount
177
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,193
that we were supposed to get.
178
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,795
Triple?
Yes!
179
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,464
But we were only supposed
to get back $600.
180
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:11,965
I know, I know, and that's why
181
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,834
I bought a little bit of
something for everybody.
182
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,536
I paid some bills for you,
183
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:16,637
and I bought the couch for me,
184
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,540
and I bought some variety cereal
packs for the kids.
185
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:20,207
Wow, cereal.
186
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,242
Careful, you'll spoil us.
187
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,545
Hey, wait, wait, wait,
where are you going?
188
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,179
I'm going to go sit down.
189
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,515
No you're not.
190
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,517
New couch, new rules.
191
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,486
There'll be no eating
on this couch.
192
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,855
So that means no
soups, no salads,
193
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,857
no sandwiches, no ribs,
no Cheerios,
194
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,860
no Bazooka gum, nothing.
195
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,862
If you fall asleep,
196
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,865
keep your funky little feet
on the floor.
197
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,034
Put a towel
underneath your face
198
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,769
to keep the drool
and the dribble
199
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,270
from getting
on my pillows.
200
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,404
If you sit down,
201
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:55,509
you cannot have any pens,
pencils, markers, nothing.
202
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,845
By the time I sat
on the new couch,
203
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,847
it was the old couch.
Do not...
204
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,515
Hey, Greg, we're going
to go hang out later.
205
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:02,550
Want to come?
206
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:05,553
Who's we?
207
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,520
Me and Albert.
208
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,021
Oh, so you're "we" now?
209
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,890
You know, you and
I used to be "we."
210
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,693
Now all of a sudden we
have nothing in common.
211
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,562
What's wrong
with you?
212
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,763
I've been hearing
some pretty bad things
213
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,765
about your new
friend, Albert.
Like what?
214
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,833
People are saying he's not
who he pretends to be.
215
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,168
I mean, he's cool with you,
216
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,703
but he's a jerk
to everyone else.
217
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,037
You know, I think
you're just jealous.
218
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,739
Besides, what do you think
other kids say about me
219
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:26,940
behind my back?
220
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,609
I think it starts
with the letter N.
221
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,743
And I don't care
what other kids say.
222
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,311
I'm going to hang out
with Albert.
223
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,046
But that doesn't mean you
and me can't still be friends.
224
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,314
Oh, really?
225
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,049
Then why is it that ever
since he's gotten here,
226
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,585
I've seen less and
less of you?
227
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:38,819
What are you talking about?
We're together now.
228
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,320
Well, this doesn't count.
229
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,189
I mean we don't even eat
lunch together anymore.
230
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,024
You haven't returned
my phone calls.
231
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,560
But hey, things can
change, right?
232
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,028
Is this a show
about my childhood
233
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,597
or an episode of Dr. Phil?
234
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,031
What do you want me
to say?
235
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,165
We have a lot in common.
236
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,333
He gets stuff
that you don't.
237
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,267
Like what?
238
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,636
Sickle-cell anemia.
239
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,638
Like, Albert knows
what it's like
240
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,272
to be the only black kid
in school.
241
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:00,608
And that's something
you won't get.
242
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:01,775
You never will.
243
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:02,843
That's all I'm saying.
244
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,845
Well, all I'm saying is...
245
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,847
watch your back... friend.
246
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,949
How can my life be this much
of a soap opera
247
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,051
with no women involved.
248
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,757
Ms. Morello was right.
249
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,158
Hanging out with Albert
was cool.
250
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,327
But I still felt bad
about fighting with Greg.
251
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,663
There goes
the neighborhood.
252
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,664
Hey,
253
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,899
my dad's got an extra ticket
to the Knicks game.
254
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,167
He said I could
bring somebody.
255
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,335
Want to go?
256
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,003
Are you kidding me?
257
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,605
Heck, yeah, I want to go.
258
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:32,673
Thanks, man.
259
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:33,907
No problem.
260
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,175
Hey, let's get out of here
261
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,177
before your man
shows up.
Who, Greg?
262
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,713
Yeah, he's no
fun at all.
263
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:40,848
Hey, watch this.
264
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,015
Nice shirt.
265
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,051
Did Prince just
have a garage sale?
266
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,257
Hey, Chico and the Man,
267
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,092
Freddie Prinze
just called.
268
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,094
And he wants
his hair back.
269
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,629
Taunt the Puerto Rican kid.
270
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,330
That's a good way to get cut.
271
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,365
Hey, man,
what are you doing?
272
00:09:58,398 --> 00:09:59,833
I'm just having
a little fun.
273
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,234
Try it.
274
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,370
It wasn't natural
for me to act like a jerk,
275
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,105
but I learned quick.
276
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,273
Hey, Caruso.
277
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,709
What, mutt?
278
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,377
You know, you have
a face like a saint.
279
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,278
A Saint Bernard.
280
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:14,114
One black kid
Caruso could handle.
281
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:17,651
But two of us was like Will
and Martin in Bad Boys.
282
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,653
Hey, babe.
283
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,655
How come you're not
sitting on the couch?
284
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:23,657
Did you read this letter
from the IRS?
285
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,792
Yeah, so?
286
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,026
So?
287
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,195
So it says they could
demand their money back
288
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,863
with interest
at any time
289
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,765
if they determine
that a mistake was made.
290
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,767
Baby, they send that
letter to everybody.
291
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,402
Well, what if they want
their money back?
292
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,070
Where am I going
to get it from?
293
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,405
Julius, you got
better odds
294
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,873
of being struck
by lightening
295
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,742
than the IRS wanting
their money back.
296
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,410
Statistically, she was right.
297
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,714
(screaming)
298
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:55,355
Besides, what's the worst
that can happen?
299
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,423
JULIUS:
Where did they go...?
300
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,858
What is go...
Oh, my...
301
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,192
Dad, they
took the TV.
302
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:00,928
Julius, they took
my wigs.
303
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,095
Ow!
304
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,430
Dad... They're taking Tonya.
305
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,798
(screaming)
306
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:07,868
No!
307
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,939
Name brand cereal
is like crack to kids.
308
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,307
And when Tonya and Drew opened
that variety pack,
309
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,143
they became snap,
crackle and pop heads.
310
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,444
TONYA:
Drew, give it!
311
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,979
DREW:
No, I called
the Chocalot.
312
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,814
TONYA:
Mama, Drew took
my Chocalots.
313
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,449
Both of y'all, get in here now.
314
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,085
Julius, they driving me
crazy behind this cereal.
315
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,720
Well, Drew did call
the Chocalots.
316
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,055
I don't care who called what.
317
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,790
It's too early
for all this arguing.
318
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,024
Drew, give your sister
the cereal.
319
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,325
Fine.
320
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,762
But tomorrow I call
the Fruit Hoops.
No, Ma, I...
321
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,363
Girl, don't press your luck
before I knock
322
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,430
the Rice Krispies
out of you.
323
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,399
DREW:
Man, who ate up all
the Cereal Smack?
324
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,802
I called the Cereal Smacks.
325
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:44,071
See?
326
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,873
I called them.
327
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,507
After a few days, I found out
328
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,077
I had a lot more in common
with Albert
329
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,478
than I had with Greg.
330
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,480
Hey, check this dude out.
331
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,148
Hey, Mario?
332
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,416
Your mama's so stupid,
333
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,752
she thought a quarterback
was a refund.
334
00:11:58,786 --> 00:11:59,519
(Albert laughing)
335
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,188
Oh, yeah?
336
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,423
Su mama es la mariscal
de la cancha.
337
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,928
Now we're going to get fined
by the Mexican FCC.
338
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,030
Hey, I'll be right back.
339
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,835
What'd you do that for?
340
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,536
I was just having a little fun.
341
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,772
Fun for who?
342
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,814
Okay, now this is an easy one.
343
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:30,483
Who was the only president
to ever be impeached?
344
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,921
Chris?
345
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,924
Uh, George Washington Carver?
346
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,125
(laughter)
347
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,492
No, Chris.
348
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,262
George Washington Carver
was the black peanut genius.
349
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,831
And you should know that.
350
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,532
Albert?
351
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,000
I don't know.
352
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,836
What do you mean,
you don't know?
353
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,437
Did you read
the assigned material?
354
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,939
You can read, can't you?
355
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,941
Yeah, I can read.
356
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,143
Well, then,
there's no excuse for you not
357
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,978
having studied. Now,
358
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,413
I know you and Chris
are having fun
359
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,549
shucking and jiving
360
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,852
together, but you
should really spend
361
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:05,886
more time studying...
362
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:06,887
Albert looked at her
363
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,522
like he was about
to get his third strike.
364
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,995
What's wrong with you?
365
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,596
Can you believe what she said?
366
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,465
It's not that big
of a deal, man.
367
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,333
It's nothing worse than
what she said to me.
368
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,501
Forget her.
369
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,837
No, I ain't forgetting nothing.
370
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,939
I'll bet you
she won't do that again.
371
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,040
What do you mean?
372
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:29,076
We're going to pay her back.
373
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,345
I think I just joined a gang.
374
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,446
Who's we?
375
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,583
As it turned out,
Albert could not only read.
376
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,818
He could also write.
377
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,127
Way to go, Basquiat.
378
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,328
I didn't do this.
379
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,330
Sure you didn't.
380
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,934
Who would possess
the vulgar cultural background
381
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,203
and raw, angry,
street talent to do
382
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,905
something like this?
383
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,140
I'll give you one guess,
and it starts with Albert.
384
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:06,079
Hey, Albert.
385
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,514
Did you see it?
386
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,615
Yeah, I saw it.
387
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,017
Pretty cool, huh?
388
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,384
We put her in her place.
389
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,553
What is with this we?
390
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,455
I had nothing
to do with this.
391
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,924
Well, you know...
392
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,091
No, I don't know.
393
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,292
Caruso thinks I did it.
394
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,428
Yeah, well, you and me?
It's the same thing.
395
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,997
Solidarity, right?
396
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,399
Solidarity... wrong.
397
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,368
You took
this too far.
398
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,436
Now you need to
tell Ms. Morello
399
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,537
what you did,
or I'm going to.
400
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,072
Oh, it's like that, huh?
401
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,406
Yeah, it's like that.
402
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,276
And that's the
way it is. Ugh!
403
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,578
That sounded a lot cooler
in my head.
404
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,313
Okay, then I'll tell her.
405
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,349
I'm not scared.
406
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,054
I'm deeply disappointed in you,
407
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,221
Chris.
408
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:49,656
I thought we had a connection,
409
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:53,626
and yet, you go and spray paint
those awful words.
410
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,563
Wait. Didn't Albert talk to you?
411
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:57,597
Yes. Your friend
came in here,
412
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,968
and as hard as it was
for him to turn you in,
413
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,936
he did the right thing
by letting me know
414
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,005
you were the one who
defaced school property.
415
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:05,973
But it wasn't me.
416
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,207
I didn't do it.
417
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,076
Don't try to deny it, mister.
418
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,643
I know in your culture,
419
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,579
people think that
word is a compliment,
420
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,681
but in this
instance, it's not.
421
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,517
Ms. Morello, Albert's the one
who spray painted that wall.
422
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,719
I know you were embarrassed
for your friend
423
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,188
because he didn't study,
424
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,991
but you're not helping
him by calling me names.
425
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,193
Sticks and stones, Chris.
426
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:28,095
I know where I'd like
to stick a stone.
427
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,262
I'm giving you detention.
428
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,430
That's not fair.
429
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,299
I told you I didn't do it.
430
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,367
And furthermore, you're
going to clean that wall.
431
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,070
Give it,
or I'm going to tell.
432
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,972
Tonya, you didn't even
want the Frosty Flakes
433
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:39,739
until I had them. Stop!
434
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,341
So, you can eat
Crazy Bran.
435
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,010
I'm not eating the
Crazy Bran, Tonya. Stop!
436
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,644
Stop! You're spilling it!
437
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,679
Hey!
438
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,982
Give me those darn cereal!
439
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,352
I'm sick of y'all fighting
over cereal.
440
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,554
Every day, y'all...
441
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:57,490
your life's bigger that cereal!
442
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,026
It's cereal!
443
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,771
Now eat the damn cereal!
444
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,407
Eat the Damn Cereal.
445
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,076
Coming soon from Kellogg's.
446
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,086
Can I help you?
447
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,255
I've got a hypothetical
question for you.
448
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,289
Okay.
449
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,758
What are the chances
450
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:35,662
that the IRS would demand
a refund on a tax refund?
451
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,164
Hypothetically?
452
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,231
Hypothetically.
453
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,133
Well, that hardly
ever happens.
454
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,701
Really?
Yes. Almost never.
455
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,036
Almost?
456
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,271
Very rarely.
457
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,272
How rare?
458
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,506
Uh, it's unlikely.
459
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,075
I mean, it could take years
460
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,776
if they ever even
caught the mistake,
461
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,211
but they probably wouldn't.
462
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,113
How probable is that probably?
463
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:55,348
Did you cash the refund check?
464
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,250
Hypothetically?
465
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,418
Yes.
466
00:16:58,451 --> 00:16:59,786
No.
467
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,289
Good.
468
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,290
But my hypothetical wife did.
469
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,592
Oh.
470
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:08,161
Oh? Oh, hey,
what's oh? What...?
471
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:09,829
Well, if you got a larger
than normal refund,
472
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,798
um, it's possible you aren't
aware of some benefit.
473
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:14,267
Although the IRS takes a lot
of money by accident,
474
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,836
we usually don't
give money away by accident.
475
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,838
You'll probably be okay.
476
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,508
Hypothetically.
477
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,809
Probably?
Possibly.
478
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,177
Maybe.
479
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,745
I hope.
480
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,116
Thanks.
481
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,153
My father wasn't the only one
482
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,288
stressed out
because of that refund.
483
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,590
(sighs)
484
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,134
What are you doing?
485
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,436
I'm trying to clean
this mess off the wall.
486
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,738
I can see that, but why?
You didn't do it.
487
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,207
I know, but nobody
seems to believe me.
488
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,509
I guess I should have listened
to you about Albert.
489
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,744
I guess you should have.
490
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,579
Sorry.
491
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,314
So am I.
492
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,517
It's better to hang out
with friends
493
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:06,886
that get you out of trouble,
not into it.
494
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,755
If only Tupac had known that.
495
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,192
While I was worrying
about my problem,
496
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,760
my father had problems
of his own.
497
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,328
Julius,
498
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,763
is something wrong
with your food?
499
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,332
No, uh, I'm just not hungry.
500
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:22,535
For my father to waste food,
that could only mean one thing.
501
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:25,405
Hell must have frozen over.
502
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:29,142
Damn, it's cold!
503
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,712
Julius, what's wrong?
504
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:33,913
(sighs)
505
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,682
I can't stop worrying
about this refund.
506
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,384
I mean, I keep having
these nightmares
507
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,386
the government's going
to take all we own,
508
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,321
and we have to end up
living in the street.
509
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,256
That is not going to happen.
510
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,424
It happened to Red Fox.
511
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,525
How do you know?
512
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,227
'Cause I'm not living
in the streets.
513
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,162
If everybody in this house
has to get two jobs,
514
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:50,563
we'll find a way to pay
515
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,598
the money back.
516
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,566
Yeah, I can pick up
some extra hours at Doc's.
517
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,834
Do I have to get two jobs?
518
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,170
Well, if you want to stay here
with two parents
519
00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,239
and two brothers, yes,
you have to get two jobs.
520
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,274
But what if I get one job,
and I keep Daddy?
521
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:02,609
Girl, don't
play with me.
522
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,744
Well, I could get a
job as a bullfighter
523
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:05,945
and get a paper route.
524
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,814
Boy, I'm not going
to let you kill yourself
525
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,282
out there on no paper route.
526
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:09,916
Chris, you take
the paper route.
527
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,418
Drew, why don't you
528
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:12,419
find something else to do?
529
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,187
Okay.
530
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:17,657
Oh, you guys would really
do that for me?
531
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,891
In a heartbeat.
532
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:19,859
Baby, if the IRS
533
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,395
knocks on this door,
we'll be ready for them.
534
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,930
Okay?
Okay.
535
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,598
Now, eat
your food.
536
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,200
That night, my family showed me
537
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:29,236
what it meant
to have someone's back,
538
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,970
and I realized that Greg,
not Albert,
539
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,206
would always have mine.
540
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,741
I hope you're happy.
541
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,609
They found the paint
cans in my locker.
542
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,678
I got expelled.
543
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,980
That's not my fault.
I didn't say anything.
544
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,749
Then who did?
Me.
545
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,285
I saw what you did,
but I didn't want
546
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,254
to say anything until
you got Chris in trouble.
547
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,322
Then I told
Ms. Morello.
548
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,494
Oh, yeah.
549
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,828
Here.
550
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,731
I changed my mind
about the game.
551
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:02,402
I didn't really want to go
with you anyway.
552
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,805
This is just like when
Bobby Brown left New Edition.
553
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:09,342
Thanks for getting me
out of detention.
554
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,411
Don't mention it. You'd
do the same for me.
555
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,879
Greg was right. I would.
556
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,681
Because when it came
to our friendship,
557
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,848
we didn't see color.
558
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,384
Hey, Count Chocula.
Hey, Captain Crunch.
559
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,651
Never would have happened
560
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,820
if I had convinced Greg
to wear black face.
561
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,822
* Everybody hates Chris.
562
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:25,858
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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