Original subtitles

Night, Herb. Night, Sybil.

See you at school on Monday.

Okay.

Night.

All right, see ya.

It's almost midnight. My parents will kill me.

Bear, sleep.

I never sleep.

Come on.

Let's sit down.

Oh, my God.

Sort of late, isn't it?

We were just on our way home.

Seems like a nice idea.

Night, officer.

I knew we should...

Here it is, boys, your new European home.

Wow, Mom, there's a castle.

It looks neat.

It looks damp.

I bet a vampire lives there.

It's a perfect place for him to wait for sunset.

Well, we wait for Max to grow up.

Is this the castle?

Isn't it just how you imagined it would be?

How'd you get Hansel and Gretel evicted?

Come on, Chris.

Oh, I'm sorry, guys, I forgot to tell you.

They changed my schedule again.

I have to go to Madrid tomorrow.

I thought it was London.

No, honey, that's the day after.

I thought we were going to get to see you this time.

Well, you are, hon.

That's why I've flown you over.

We're going to be a lot closer here

than with you in Philadelphia.

Welcome and bienvenue.

Welcome.

Come inside, will you?

It's terribly bright out here.

Come, come, come.

Guys, this is your uncle Gustav.

Gustav, this is Max.

I recognize him from their pictures.

This is little Maximilian.

Max, please, just Max.

And this is Christopher.

He loses easily.

Then you must be a peach.

Um, Uncle Gustav?

Hmm?

Is this what I think it is?

A very interesting epistemological question, Max.

How can I know what you think?

Well, it looks like a wooden stake,

the kind you'd use to plunge

into the blood-gorged chest of a vampire.

My goodness.

You're exactly right.

And to think all these years

I've been using it as a doorstop.

You'll have to excuse Max, Gustav.

He's a little obsessed with the supernatural.

A little.

Anyway, Max, how do we know

that you're not a vampire yourself

the way you wolfed down those poppy seeds?

What's wrong with them?

Some experts.

Vampires cannot resist poppy seeds.

They're absolutely mad about them.

Hmm.

If you're going to venture into the world

of the undead young man,

you had better know the nature of the beast.

Hello, Miss Townsend.

Uncle Gustav?

Gentlemen, may I present Miss Sophie Metternich.

She stays here when she goes to school.

You live here?

Yes.

Shouldn't I?

Uh, Chris Townsend,

I love astronomy and rap,

and I'm older than I look,

and I think I'm ready

for a truly giving relationship.

Hello.

And this is Maximilian.

Max, please.

Just Max.

Come on, guys.

I'll show you to your rooms.

I mean, you have to change and get going.

What have you just got here?

I know, but I'm invited to a reception

at the embassy this afternoon.

You guys can come along.

Wow.

Mom, how about if I catch just a bit of MTV

until you're done?

Oh, honey, I don't think Uncle Gustav gets MTV.

I don't remember you mentioning that, Mom.

Look, there's the ambassador.

I can introduce you in a minute.

Maybe he's a vampire.

Looks like he hasn't been outside in a while.

And there's Alexander Lucard.

Now, that's exciting.

I can hardly contain myself.

No, no, he owns Lucard Enterprises.

Banking, real estate, and chemicals.

He's one of the richest men in the world.

Not even in the top ten, I'm afraid.

Alexander Lucard.

Eileen Townsend, Pennsylvania Industrial Bank.

Yes, I know.

You've made quite a splash in the last few weeks.

That Eurobond deal was very interesting.

Thank you.

Oh, these are my boys, Chris and Max.

They just arrived today.

How are you liking it?

I want my MTV.

You can have it if you own a satellite.

How else would I watch Young MC?

You're into rap?

And hip-hop, and some ska.

I'll tell you what, Chris.

Here's my card.

Call my people whenever you get homesick for a little rap.

Yes, thanks, I will.

Welcome.

Welcome, Max.

I mean it.

Well, if you're going to be in Europe,

you might as well have some friends, right?

Mm-hmm.

Face it, Max, your search for vampires is a bust.

That's it.

Uncle Gustav hates garlic.

And did you notice that there aren't any crosses around either?

Maybe he's Jewish.

And did you see the way he wolfed down my poppy seeds?

He's the one that told you about the poppy seeds.

Exactly.

Uncle Gustav is a vampire.

He's got to be.

Oh, man.

What are we going to do?

We'll go to sleep.

Oh, sure.

But don't blame me if you wake up and he's sucking plasma.

I've got to tell Mom.

No, at least let her sleep.

She's got a flight to catch at 6 a.m. tomorrow.

Well, then I'll go see Mr. LeCard.

He'll know what to do.

Great, and until then, go to sleep, okay?

Okay, but I'm keeping my guard up.

Great.

As long as you do it quietly.

Well, hello, Max.

Come to catch some videos?

I'm afraid it's more serious than that, Mr. LeCard.

Well, I'm going to surprise you, Max.

I'm not one of those adults who will just ignore you.

There are certain things you should know about Gustav Helsing.

I knew it.

Oh, man, what a dweeb I am.

Please, Max.

It could happen to anyone.

Just leave those.

Now, listen to me.

I believe you and your brother may be in some danger.

I'm expecting an important phone call.

Could you give me just a few minutes alone?

Then we'll have a talk about what needs to be done.

Uh, sure, Mr. LeCard.

I'll just be outside.

Are you sure we can't get an MTV out here?

Yes, I'm sure.

This is unbelievable.

Ooh, and we can watch the festival of folklore experiences of Poland tonight.

Oh, awesome.

I know I'm going to regret this, but I got to know.

Max?

Max?

Max?

Max, what the heck do you think you're doing?

Max, you get back here right now.

Take the stairs.

Good thinking.

The hospital, if I get my hands on it.

The castle, he's going to Mr. LeCard's castle.

I'm going to kill him.

Yep, I'm going to kill him.

Great.

Oh, man.

This place looks like a Metallica video.

And it's damp.

Max!

All right!

Okay, Max, this time it's personal.

Don't you see? I saved you.

Uncle Gustav is a vampire, and this is the only place we're safe.

Uncle Gustav is a what?

A vampire.

I knew you wouldn't come here if I had asked you to, so I tricked you.

Pretty cool, huh?

This is the dumbest thing you've ever done, and believe me, there is lots of competition.

Don't be too hard on the boy, Christopher.

Max brought you here at my invitation.

You were in very great danger, but you are safe now.

Under my wing, so to speak.

Uh-oh.

Go on, run.

Raymond!

Run! Get Uncle Gustav! He's our last chance!

Come on.

Hello, this is Gustav.

Uncle Gustav!

We're in big trouble.

But I'm not home right now. Probably out eating too much schnitzel again.

But just leave a message at the tone.

He's not at home.

Here's a little music.

Which means he's not in, right?

Which means we gotta go back there.

Which means we gotta go save Sophie by ourselves.

And don't forget, this is your fault, okay?

You might as well try to relax, my dear.

Do you know the music?

Mozart.

Very good.

His Mass for the Dead.

He died while he was writing it. Funny how things work out.

You're him.

Aren't you?

Why, whatever do you mean?

You're Dracula.

No, I'm Milli Vanilli. Of course I'm Dracula.

And you know what?

I enjoy being me.

Think of the advantages.

Forever free to roam the night, collecting.

Officer Maria Schmidt.

My latest acquisition.

Beautiful skintone.

Although yours is even finer.

Wait, I have an idea.

What are you doing, you idiot?

She's not happy.

Gustav will find out you have me.

And he'll come after you.

I sincerely hope so.

That was the point of bringing you here, after all.

Apart from your beauty and your blood type.

AB negative, I guess.

He suspects who you are, you know.

Well, of course he does.

He's a worthy opponent.

Not quite the equal of his great-grandfather,

but definitely ahead of his grandfather and father.

Legendary vampire hunters, all of them.

That's why he must be disposed of.

No.

I'll start with a little aperitif, I think.

Leave her alone!

You don't know who you're dealing with.

But I do.

What is that stuff?

Holy water.

Where'd you get it?

I never leave home without it.

Oh, great. Alvira.

Keep her covered.

Stake her. You gotta stake her.

But I don't believe in...

Believe.

But I can't do it. She's a girl.

Stake her.

You're blocking the cross.

Nobody messes with my brother.

I believe.

I believe.

I said I believe.

Lucard!

Have your seconds, Mr. Lucard.

And to think I left you safe and sound watching television.

Oh, come on, before his creatures find us.

It's been a running battle through the centuries.

My ancestors and him.

I lost track of him several years ago,

before he created this newest identity as Alexander Lucard.

You must all learn to trust each other,

and no one else.

I myself spent an evening watching you two sleep

to make sure you weren't Lucard's agents.

Such snoring.

It was unbelievable.

I had to keep my guard up because he's never had such power.

There was a count in Transylvania.

He could never do more than local harm.

But now, with his corporate connections,

he's in a position to take over the world.

We must be stopped.

Maximilian, you have been very quiet.

Well, it's just that...

I mean, I was in the same house,

the same room, as Dracula.

The Dracula.

And I didn't even get his autograph.

There will be other evenings, Max.

I can promise you that.

More cocoa anyway?