Original subtitles

(grand orchestral music)

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

(static buzzing)

(indistinct shouting)

- Are you ready for some rock 'n roll?

I think it's a special evening tonight,

Maybe it's New Year!

(crowd cheering)

Okay I can hear it now,

coming through this annoying thing on my ear.

Okay wait for it, everybody. Wait for it!

10, nine, eight, (rock 'n roll music)

seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year!

♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And never brought to mind ♪

♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ Days of auld lang syne my dear ♪

♪ Days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ Should old acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ We two have run about the braes ♪

♪ And put the gowans fine ♪

♪ We've wandered many a weary fit ♪

♪ Till days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ Till auld lang syne my dear ♪

♪ Singing old lang syne ♪

♪ We've wondered many a weary fit ♪

♪ Singing old lang syne ♪

Thank you everybody.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

(crowd cheering)

And good night.

(upbeat music)

- You know what's really sad at a New Year's Eve party?

When you don't have anyone to kiss at midnight.

That is so sad.

- I can only imagine.

- In fact, I didn't have anyone to kiss at midnight.

- Poor you.

How do you find the strength to carry on?

- Oh, it's hard. Let me tell you.

So is that guy, your boyfriend?

- Is that any of your business?

- Yes.

- Oh, how's that?

- Well, I need to know how he's going to take it

when I lean in and get myself a New Year's kiss

from the prettiest girl at the party.

(woman scoffs)

- Thanks man.

- So now he's going to come over here

and knock my block off.

- I wouldn't be surprised.

- And what are you going to do about it?

- I'm going to let him.

Robert.

This is-- - Adam.

- Nice to meet you, Adam.

Now, why don't you off fuck off.

- Happy New Year.

- Really Nicole. Is that the best you can do?

- He told me I was the prettiest girl at the party.

- You are so easy.

- I know.

That's why I'm with you.

- You afraid of heights?

- No.

- I am.

I always think I'm gonna fall

and my body's gonna splatter all over the pavement.

You know, blood guts, bone fragments, the whole shebang.

You ever think about that?

- No.

If I have nightmares tonight, I'll know who to blame.

- Melanie.

- Wade.

- You know Wade if you have nightmares tonight

you can always just roll over and spank me.

- I like that.

You just think that up or is that your standard line.

- Would I use some tired old line on you Wade.

- Look there's Kathy King.

- Who the fuck is Kathy King?

- Kathy King, the celebrity chef.

Don't tell me you've never seen "Cooking a la King?"

- Do I look like a fucking housewife?

- No, you look like a fucking slut.

- Oh, I am Wade, I am.

- Mm, delicious. Did you make this?

- Only on TV.

- I love your show.

- You've never seen my show.

- What are you talking about? I watch it all the time.

It's better than porn, it's food porn.

When you mix things up with your hands

and lick it off your fingers,

you're a very dirty girl Kathy King.

- You have no idea Wade Everett.

- Ah, you know who I am.

- Doesn't everybody.

- Kathy. Hi.

It's great to see you.

Isn't this a scream?

A party on top of an abandoned building.

It's so, I don't know, post-apocalyptic right.

God, I hope they haven't decided to blow it up.

Kapow!

- Sorry. Do I know you?

- Pamela Reynolds. Head of Programming at TCB.

Kathy I have to tell you I am your number one fan.

- Well, I don't know Pam. I hear that quite a lot.

And I've got some pretty loyal fans.

- Of course you do.

And you deserve even more.

You know the cooking's great. It's fantastic.

But I see you with more a whole lifestyle show,

celebrity guest, a little talk, a little cooking,

maybe some crafts.

It could be huge. You could be huge.

Huge.

(upbeat dance music continues)

- Do you ski?

- Whenever I get the chance.

- So who do I get to kiss?

- What are you talking about?

You get to kiss me you lucky boy.

- No way babe, this is a two-way street.

If you get to kiss a stranger then so do I.

- All right.

How about her?

She looks sufficiently desperate.

- I don't want desperate.

I want young and slutty.

(Nicole laughs)

- How about all three?

(both chuckle)

(phone beeping)

- What are you doing?

We're in the middle of a conversation.

You're like Pavlov's dog with that thing.

- "Girls and boys come out to play.

The smiley face will lead the way.

This party's so over.

Come join the real party downstairs.

27th floor elevator number five,

punch in the code 1-0-1."

- If I just came and kissed you.

Aargh.

(Nicole laughs)

- So we have a little bit for Melanie.

(Melanie sniffs)

And a little bit for Adam.

(Adam sniffs)

(phone beeps)

- "Girls and boys come out to play." (gasps)

(phone beeps)

(elevator bell dings)

(light music)

♪ Girls and boys come out play ♪

♪ The moon is shining as bright as day ♪

♪ Leave your supper ♪

- Ah, I've been waiting for you.

- How did you know I was coming.

- (chuckles) Loser? That's not very nice.

- It could have been worse.

It could have been pig.

- Why would you say that to me?

- No, it's just the guest list.

Some guy named Adam is the "pig."

Pamela is "two-faced", Nicole's "heartless."

- What about you?

"Loverboy". It's not so bad. You got off easy.

- What are you talking about, makes me sound

like some kind of pinup from Teen Dream magazine.

- Well aren't you? - One time, one time

I posed for that rag.

That's it. I'm firing my publicist.

- Well it's still better than loser.

What about this one?

Who is our gracious host?

- I thought maybe you'd know.

- So where is everybody?

- It's like a VIP party.

- How do you know?

- What else is it gonna be?

It'll be fun.

- Wait a minute.

You're going to meet that guy aren't you?

That's what all of this is about.

- You're so cute when you're jealous,

I should kiss strangers more often.

(foreboding music)

(elevator bell dings)

- Oh look. Must be Adam.

And who is she? Two-faced or heartless?

- It's hard to say. Her name's uh?

- Melanie.

- Melanie. So she's obviously not invited.

- That's right. I'm a party crasher.

- What the fuck is your problem.

- Oh, we all got place cards

with nasty little pet names on them.

- Oh how fun.

Well, I guess I'm just going to have to make up

my own little nasty pet name.

- How about giggling coke whore?

- You are a pig.

What's up with this place?

I thought it was (indistinct) building.

- Not anymore.

- Hey, do I know you?

- I don't think so.

- This is Kathy King. She's on TV, man.

Can't walk down the street without seeing

her on a billboard or the side of the bus.

- Oh right. That must be it.

So maybe this is some kind of hidden camera thing.

You guys are celebrities.

Want to get caught on tape.

(Kathy sniffs)

- Just like old times.

(footsteps tapping)

(keys jangling)

- Going down?

- Girls and boys come out to play.

- Well aren't we special.

- It says "Out of order."

- Probably to keep out the riffraff.

(elevator bell rings)

♪ Girls and boys come out to play ♪

♪ The moon is shining bright as day ♪

Hey girls.

- And another party crasher.

- We can't party without you crashers.

- I thought you said that guy wasn't gonna be here.

- I never said that.

- Kathy. I was hoping I'd see you again.

- Everyone meet Pamela.

- Oh, the two-faced bitch.

- (scoffs) Excuse me.

- Whoever's throwing this little shindig

has pretty strong feelings about all of us.

- This is yours.

- "Heartless". Well that's ridiculous!

- What is this crap?

- We don't know, man. We all just got here.

So either you can join the party

or you can get the fuck outta here.

- Don't tell me what to do.

- Ooh. I'm just giving you your options, Bob.

I mean you weren't actually invited.

- Nobody calls me Bob, asshole.

- Only my mom calls me asshole, Bob.

(foreboding music)

- Well, I think there's enough cake for everyone.

So let's all just settle down.

- Come on.

- Does say, "Eat me."

- I say that all the time.

Doesn't always get results.

- Something tells me our gracious house

isn't going to be showing up any time soon.

- More cake for the rest of us.

- Let's dig in.

- Looks like you're not the prettiest girl

at the party after all.

- Oh look, something's written underneath.

- "This little piggy found silver.

This little piggy found gold.

This little piggy ate my cake.

This little piggy had none.

And this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee

all the way to 2-7-2-1."

- That's not how I learned it?

- No, it's a treasure hunt. This is the first clue.

Oh, I love treasure hunts. This is going to be fun.

- 2-7-2-1 must be a room number.

- Maybe that's where the real party is.

- This party isn't real enough for you?

- All right. Out of my way.

Because I am gonna win this prize.

- Who says there's a prize?

- There's always a prize.

Otherwise there wouldn't be a treasure hunt.

- What do you think it is? - I don't know.

- Could be a giant teddy bear.

- I've always wanted one of those.

- I had a boyfriend once who spent

like a hundred bucks trying to win one for me in a carnival.

- Couldn't do it?

- He was sort of the wimpy type.

- It wasn't me. - Who said it was?

- Anyway those things are rigged.

- Ah.

- Wrong way.

- All right. Back, back.

(foreboding music)

- There's always a way to beat the system Robert.

Just got to know how.

- And I suppose you know how.

- Won a few teddy bears in my time.

- Giant teddy bears?

'Cause that is what we're talking about here.

Giant teddy bears not the little ones.

- So much testosterone.

- Hey, what about one of those little dolls

who wets herself?

I've always wanted one of those too.

- Hey what about that little doll that shits herself.

- Whatever turns you on bro.

- Look, 2-7-2-1.

- Oh my God!

- This must be our host.

- Oh my God. Ew!

- I really can't wait to see what the treasure is.

- I don't think I like this game anymore.

- It's disgusting.

- Well, I don't know. There's a lot of great

recipes for pigs head.

Tasty head cheese, a scrumptious jelly.

- Is that all you think about?

- Food is my life.

I could build a whole show around this.

Why do you think Pam?

- Love it.

- Aha! Our next mission, should we choose to accept it-

- Give me that.

- Gosh Pam. No need to be so rude. (snorts)

- "Dickory dickory dare, the pig gave quite a scare.

You now must go where water flows.

Dickory, dickory, dare.

- Okay. So where water flows?

Obviously it's a bathroom.

- Hey, how about a water fountain?

- It could be a lot of things

- You people are insane.

Any game that starts with a rotting pig's head

is not going to end with a giant teddy bear.

- It's just a ploy to weed out the weak.

- Well, I'm certainly not weak.

- And look at all these pearls.

- They're plastic.

- I don't know. I think they're pretty.

- Bet I find it first?

- I bet I do.

- Winner takes all? - Takes all what?

- I'll think of something. - You are on.

- Hey girlfriend, let's team up.

- Listen Pamela. You can stop kissing my ass.

It's a party, not a business meeting. Lighten up.

- I really am a big fan.

- I don't want to play anymore.

- I thought you said you love treasure hunts.

You certainly seem to enjoy making goo-goo eyes

with that dick on a stick.

- Yeah. Well this place has given me the creeps.

- How about the heebie-jeebies?

Would you say it's giving you the heebie-jeebies?

- No, I'd say it's giving me the heebie-di-jeebidies.

Okay, so I'm leaving.

- Let's just stay and finish the game.

I don't want that fucker to get the best of me. Huh?

- You're such a guy.

- Come on.

Aren't you just dying to see how it turns out. Hmm?

- Oh!

(foreboding music)

(child's voice speaking indistinctly)

- Man, this little piggy needs a smoke.

This little piggy got his bone smoked.

(tense music)

Aargh!

Aargh!

Aargh!

(screaming)

(Adam panting)

- [Nicole] I can't believe you convinced me

to stay down here.

I think it's actually colder in here than it is outside.

Why's it so cold in here?

- [Robert] I told you to wear something warmer.

- But then I wouldn't have looked as nice.

Don't you think I look nice? - You always look nice.

- You might as well say that I never look nice.

- [Robert] I don't quite follow your logic.

- It means that you never really pay attention

to what I look like.

- You're unbelievable! How do you do that?

You take a compliment and turn it into an insult.

- Practice.

- Happy New Year, Loverboy.

- Come on Melanie, there's nothing in here.

- That's okay.

It's going to be our little secret hideout.

- Oops, sorry.

- See now she's got the wrong idea.

- Well, it's not wrong if we make it right.

- Look. No offense.

I've fucked enough skanks for a lifetime.

- Oh yeah. Well I haven't.

(ominous music)

- You see anything?

- Oh my God, there's a cow's head!

- (laughs) Okay. Very funny.

- No, I'm just messing with you.

- I got that.

- Why is it that the ladies' room

is always so much cleaner than the men's room?

I mean, is that fair?

- Well, let's see, we get clean bathrooms.

You get to run the world.

So, no, I guess it's not fair.

- Guess not.

The ruling the world thing.

- Yeah. It's like a bonus.

- Yeah. (Nicole laughs)

(Adam groaning)

- Oh God.

You scared me half to death.

- Sorry. Any luck?

- Well, it ain't back there.

- Where water flows? - Yeah.

- Water flows.

- Wait, is there a fire hose?

- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I saw one.

It was this way. - [Pamela] Yeah? Okay.

Look, I'm sorry if I came on a little strong before,

it's just, I really love my job--

- This way.

- I can never seem to find the off switch.

Do you know what I mean?

- Don't worry about it. I guess I should be flattered.

There it is. - Oh.

Look!

We found it.

- Fire hose. I never would've thought of it.

- Are you loving me now or what?

You can take credit if you want.

- Where are you?

- [Pamela] Over here.

- Oh God. This place is so confusing.

- And creepy. - And heebidy jeebidy.

- Shut up.

- I win the bet.

- I owe you.

- So what is it this time?

Rub a dub dub, three men in a tub.

- Close.

"Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,

pushed the girl and made her cry.

Before the pig begins to rot,

find the X that marks the spot."

- This is getting dumber and dumber.

- Well you would know.

- Does anyone else feel like this is some elaborate prank?

- Maybe that guy Adam was right.

Maybe this is some kind of hidden camera thing.

Hi mom.

- Oh yeah.

Where is Adam?

- You need to learn how to keep track of your boyfriend.

- He is not my boyfriend.

He's just a guy I blew.

- Are you looking for a boyfriend?

- Aren't you going to ask if she spits or swallows?

- We just came from there.

I didn't see the X marking the spot.

- An X. Okay.

An X, what kind of an X?

- Well, we passed a few doors with letters on them.

ABC. Maybe it goes all the way to X.

That way.

(foreboding music)

- Here's C.

- K. Q.

- They're not even alphabetical.

Oh, come on.

(foreboding music)

What are you smiling about?

- Jack and Jill went up the hill

to find themselves a treasure.

Jack wore a frown, like a sad little clown

but Jill was very clever.

X marks the spot.

(light buzzing)

- That's cute. Are you a writer?

- In a way.

Do you ever read the advice column "Evelyn knows best?"

- That's you? - That's me.

- No, "Evelyn knows best" is like some old lady.

- Yeah, and she died. So now it's me.

- You have a great face.

Have you ever thought about television.

- Yeah. Maybe she could have her own lifestyle show.

- No, but she could certainly have a regular spot

on your new lifestyle show.

- You really are a go-getter.

- I never let anything stop me. And I always get what I want.

- Yeah. But do you ever get what you deserve?

(light buzzing)

- Oh shit! Look!

- Oh my god!

(ominous music)

- It's a joke. It's gotta be a joke, right?

- Are you coming?

- No way.

- Oh my god.

Call the police.

- What? - He's dead.

- What?

- He's not.

He can't be.

- Adam. - Don't touch him.

(women scream)

- I'm not even supposed to be here.

I'm not even supposed to be here.

I'm not even supposed to be here.

My god.

(Nicole gasps)

- We are out of here.

- Hold the door!

- Fucking bitch.

(Melanie screaming)

- Oh shit.

(men yelling) (Melanie screams)

- Open the door, man. - I'm trying, I'm trying.

Open the fucking door.

Open the fucking door!

(Nicole screams)

(Melanie gagging)

- No, it's a trap.

- Oh my god. She's having a seizure.

Give me a spoon to stick in her mouth

so she doesn't swallow her tongue.

- Call 9-1-1.

- I haven't got a signal.

- Oh shit.

Got a signal yet?

- Nothing.

Signal blocked. What the hell does that mean?

- Somebody blocked the signal.

Look there are people out there.

Help! Help!

- They're not going to hear you. We're on the 27th floor.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Can somebody tells me what the hell is going on here?

- Two people are dead.

- Yeah. I think we got that.

- Why? Why?

- Somebody's fucking with us.

- I'd say he's doing a little more than that.

- Who is doing this? - We don't know.

- Oh my God, we're all gonna die.

- Whoever it is, went to a lot of trouble

to bring us all down here.

- Now he's going to pick us off one by one.

Like the little duckies at the shooting gallery.

- Calm down. - But, why us?

What's the connection.

- We all have enemies right?

It's gotta be one we have in common.

- I don't have enemies. Everybody loves me.

- Obviously not everybody.

It said pig.

It said cake. And he was slaughtered like a pig.

That's how he's going to do it.

What did mine say?

Two-faced. These are clues.

- And what about her?

She didn't even have one of those stupid cards.

Now look at her. She's a new year special.

- Stop it! Let's try to think.

- What's there to think about. Let's get the hell out of here.

It won't light up.

- It said "out of order."

- That didn't stop the damn thing

from bringing us down here.

- Don't yell at me. I'm not your girlfriend.

- Thank God for that. - Hey, that's uncalled for.

- Well what's she doing bringing me into it.

It's got nothing to do with me.

- You're the one that brought him to the party.

- Some party.

- Face it lady. You can dish it out,

but you can't take it.

- Oh, you're a dick. - Oh yeah.

Sticks and stones. Honey, sticks and stones.

- I wouldn't even want to get in that thing.

- Let's try the stairs.

Come on. - There's an idea.

- There was another exit sign down here.

- You mean where we found Adam?

- Yeah. I guess you won't be kissing him goodbye.

- I'm not going in there again.

- If it's a way out. You are going to have to.

- Well you find a way out, tell me

and I'll be waiting right here.

- Fine.

(foreboding music)

(footsteps tapping)

(ominous music)

(door closing)

- Don't look up. Don't look up.

(Nicole screams)

What are you doing?

- I'm getting myself a goddamn weapon.

You can thank me later.

- Did you find a way out?

- It's locked.

- Look, a security phone?

- What? What is it?

- [over phone] ♪ Girls and boys come out to play ♪

- You had to know it wasn't going to be that easy.

(metal bangs) (Nicole yelps)

- Are you actually enjoying this?

I mean, is it better than fantasy camp?

- Yeah. This is what I really love at a party.

Food, drink and fighting for my life.

- Won't budge.

(Wade banging on door)

- It's a steel door.

You are not going to be able to kick it down.

(door thudding) - Ow.

- And you might hurt yourself. - Yeah thanks.

- Well, you had to know it wasn't gonna be that easy.

- We need you find something to pry it open.

- Yeah.

- Did you find an exit?

- Locked. You? - Same.

- I got this.

- Wait a minute.

- Holy shit.

- Oh my God.

He's watching us. He's right here.

- Come on out, asshole!

You like nursery rhymes, I got a nursery rhyme for you.

Fuck off!

- Don't touch it. It could be a bomb.

- If he wanted to blow us up he'd have done it already.

- "Simon says, try this."

(foreboding music)

- He's taunting us.

- I hate that.

- What kind of a killer leaves a weapon behind.

- One that doesn't see us as a threat.

- So let's try it.

- No don't, that's just what he wants.

- Or maybe what he wants is to play enough mind games

with us that we start to second guess

every single thing we do.

- Maybe.

(foreboding music)

(Wade grunts)

- Come on, let me have a go.

- Good luck.

(Robert grunts)

- I'll give you a hand.

- Wait.

- "Mary, Mary, quite contrary.

Where was she trying to go?

She party crashed then had to dash,

but you can't leave until I say so."

- Okay you can stop reading them out loud now.

- I'm just trying to help.

- So sick of this bullshit.

- If we don't do what he says he's gonna kill us.

- He's gonna kill us anyway.

- Well, what are we going to do?

- Got an idea.

- So what's this idea?

- Going down the elevator shaft.

- Are you high?

- Yeah, just a little. Pig boy really killed my buzz.

- No, no, wait, maybe this is what he wants us to do.

- Oh shut up.

- Hey, nobody talks to her that way, but me.

- Fuck you both. God I hate men.

- That is the one with the blades. Ace.

- Oh yeah. Sorry.

How about this one, Ace?

- Care to comment.

- I have to admit, I did not see that coming.

- Get a table.

We need something to prop the doors open with.

I'll go first.

- Oh, what is this? Follow the leader.

I am sick of party games.

- What's your problem? - Nothing, man.

I just thought we were living in a democracy.

That's all.

I didn't realize somebody

could crown himself king around here.

I mean, who says you get to go first?

- Fine. We'll vote on it.

A show of hands.

Who thinks Wade should go first?

- Okay. Little miss passive aggressive.

- I've changed my mind, you go first.

- Too late.

(Wade grunts)

- I don't like this.

I don't like it.

- Who goes next?

- Robert?

- No. I'll go last.

Just in case that bastard tries to attack.

(Wade grunts)

- Okay. I'm in.

- Okay. Come on.

- I'm not happy.

- Yeah. Join the club.

- I just realized something.

- What?

- I'm not good in a crisis.

- Come on Nicole.

- I can't.

- Well, get over it.

- I can't do it.

- Holy shit! He's coming.

He's coming!

(Nicole shrieks)

- Where is he? Is he coming?

- I had to say something to get Nicole's ass in gear.

- You are in big trouble with me, Mister.

Big, big trouble.

- At the moment Nicole, I'm not a lot worried

about being in trouble with you.

- So people write to you with their problems?

- What?

Yeah.

- And you solve them.

(dramatic music)

- Yes, that's my job.

- Got a solution for this.

- Are you guys coming or what?

- What do you mean you guys?

I'm the last one up here?

- What about Pam? Where's Pam?

- What do you mean where's Pam?

Pam's with you.

- [Wade] No, man. Pam's with you.

(ominous music)

- Oh no, no, no.

Oh my God.

- Calm down okay.

- She's dead. She's dead that's all there is to it.

She's dead.

- If she'd fallen down the elevator shaft.

We'd have heard her.

- She didn't fall. Don't you get it?

- Okay? Did you see anything?

- No, nothing.

- She can't have just disappeared.

- You are so naive.

- She's not in there, man. I would've seen her.

- Maybe you weren't looking hard enough.

- It's an elevator shaft.

You cannot hide in an elevator shaft.

It's a shaft.

- What a great plan.

We lost another one and now he gets to kill us in the dark.

- I don't want to die in the dark.

- Then let's find the circuit breaker

so he can kill us with the lights on.

- Hold on. I've got one of those, you know.

One of these.

(light snaps)

- Oh wait. Me too.

- (laughs) Well, that's just terrific.

'Cause now we can see what three inches in front of us.

- Yeah. Well it's better than nothing.

- We meet back here in 10 minutes.

No matter what.

- Don't you want to synchronize watches.

- You're not taking this very seriously.

- On the contrary, I take this a lot more seriously

than someone who thinks that a drug addled pop-star reject

is just the guy to follow down the fucking elevator shaft.

- Shh. Keep your voice down.

- Give me that.

Hey! - Well I need something.

(foreboding music)

- Would you hold my hand? I'm just feeling a little--

- How's that?

- That's better.

- Shine it on the wall.

The wall!

- I'm trying to see where we are going.

- We are trying to find the circuit breakers.

Why did I pick up the phone?

Why did I even read that stupid text message.

(suspenseful music)

- Okay, here we go.

Get the fucking fire department over here.

(fairground music)

This does not bode well.

- Now what?

(suspenseful music)

(Nicole gasps)

- There it is. Do you see it?

- [man over speaker] Round and round the spinning wheel goes.

Where it will stop, nobody knows.

Up until where's that girl.

Keep guessing and living.

To save her life, you must choose.

Is she behind door A or C.

But be careful, surprises await behind every door.

And don't forget, time is running out. Tick tock.

- There's a countdown.

- Then he's gonna kill her.

- We have to find her. - Come on.

- Wait. - What?

- I think we should split up. - Are you crazy?

- I saw the studios back this way.

- No wait! Look!

Hey! Hey! - Hey come on.

Turn around. - Hey!

- It will give us a better chance of finding her.

I'll go that way.

- We just came from there.

- Yeah but it was dark.

- We stick together. Okay?

(tense music)

- There. Let's go.

(Nicole shrieks) Oh fuck.

- Did you see him? - No.

- It's impossible. He just came down here.

- Pam. - We have to find her.

(ominous music)

- Door A, B, or C.

- But it could be a trap. He said there were surprises.

- We have to try.

- Hello and welcome to "Cooking a la King".

I'm your host, Kathy King.

- Ah, no.

- Where is Kathy?

- Come on.

- There's no time. What about Pam?

(tense music)

- She was just here. I can't believe it.

Oh God. I saw him. I went after him.

What the fuck was I thinking.

- Maybe she's waiting at the elevator, like you said

(dramatic music)

- What should we do?

(ominous music)

- Shit!

- Oh my god!

Two faced.

(Pam whimpering)

(tense music)

(Pam screaming) - Oh shit.

Come on this way.

(Nicole shrieks)

- Why is this happening to us?

What did we ever do?

(suspenseful music)

The only way we're going to get out of this

is if we kill him.

We have to kill him.

Let's take the fight to him.

- Hold on.

Just wait a minute. Okay?

With all this running around

maybe we're playing right into his hands.

What if we stay here till day.

Barricade ourselves in?

- Robert!

(tense music)

- That's near the elevator.

- Let's go.

- No! Wait!

(tense music continues)

No! No! It's too late.

- Look at me! Look at me!

We have to keep moving. Come on.

We have to try and save ourselves.

(door closes)

- At least we know this one's not bricked up.

Don't tell me it's a trap.

- Don't come crying to me when you're dead.

- Up or down.

- Up, try to get back to the party.

- No, I say down. Let's try to get out of the building.

(soft, foreboding music)

- Maybe the glow stick isn't such a hot idea.

- I don't like the alternative.

- Yeah, we know. You don't want to die in the dark.

- As soon as I get the chance.

- High voltage.

- See about that.

(metal sparks) (Nicole shrieks)

- Let's try and get back to the party.

So we're back at square one.

- Maybe we should just kill ourselves

and beat him to the punch.

- Don't talk like that.

- Busted.

- Blackjack.

It's like a game of blackjack.

We busted out.

I guess now we have to go to 21.

(suspenseful music)

- Wait.

Why did he want us to go to 21?

Maybe it's a trap.

We should try this one instead.

- Good idea.

- When I say it's a trap, people tell me to shut up

but she says it and all of a sudden she's a genius.

(foreboding music)

(door squeaks)

Oh my God.

- Look at all this. Pictures here of all of us.

That's two years ago.

(device beeping)

What's that?

- I don't know.

- It's a GPS. Here's where we are.

- What's that?

- Oh, my god it's him.

He's coming this way.

(suspenseful music)

- Shh.

- Robert?

You're-- - Alive. Yeah thanks.

Thanks for, uh, caring.

- Did you kill him?

- No, but thanks for holding on to this by the way.

It's not like I needed it or anything.

(ominous music)

What?

- How did you get away?

- I don't know.

I thought for sure, I was gonna die

and then he was gone.

- Just like that huh? - Yeah.

- It's kind of strange don't you think?

- What's your problem?

- You're helping him track us. - What?

- You see this little dot.

This is you.

- What are you nuts.

- You're in on it, aren't you?

- Nicole, please, tell me what the hell is going on here.

- Your name wasn't on the list.

Why wasn't your name on the list?

- Melanie's name was not on the list.

- And now she's dead, but you're not dead.

He let you go. Why would he do that?

- What the f--

What are you saying?

- I don't know what I'm saying.

- Okay, well let's just not fight.

That's not going to help.

Just take off your clothes.

- (panting) Excuse me.

- So we can find the transmitter.

- Keep going.

- You're just loving this aren't you?

- Don't know where you got that idea, sailor.

I like girls myself.

- It's fucking freezing in here.

- What's this?

- That, that is what I would call a huge error in judgment.

- Oh Robert.

- I only hope the jeweler will take it back.

- Still on you.

- Well, unless she stuck it up my ass this morning

I don't know what to tell you.

- You must've swallowed it.

- It was in the cake.

- Yeah. That's what you'd like us to believe.

- I don't give a rat's ass what you believe?

What is this crap?

- He's been keeping tabs on all of us for years.

- How about this? Huh?

New meat.

It looks like I am on the list now.

- So let's think about this.

What do you do for a living Robert?

- [Nicole] He's a lawyer.

- [Kathy] Entertainment lawyer?

- [Robert] Yeah, so what?

- [Kathy] We're all in the entertainment industry

in one way or another, maybe that's the connection.

- It was a genius fucking media party upstairs.

Of course we're all in the business.

- Someone we all know.

- And what do we do?

Make a list of everyone we've ever met.

Compare notes.

God you think I know the name of every psycho freak

who's ever written to "Evelyn knows best?"

We're just wasting time.

- Here's the elevator codes.

- Let me see that.

Okay. I got it.

Hang on. What do you think this smiley face means?

- It means proceed with caution.

(ominous music)

(Nicole gasps)

- Are you okay?

- Yeah. Yeah I'm fine.

Come on. Let's move on.

- That's not going to make it come any faster.

- Well, it's not going to make it come any slower.

So leave me alone.

- Shh.

- It's coming.

(elevator bell dings)

(Kathy gasps)

- Shit.

- I forgot about her.

- Okay. Lobby.

Huh.

- We're going down.

- Here we go. Here we go.

(ominous music)

No, no.

No! No! No! No!

- Hey. Hey. Hey.

(dramatic music)

(Wade groans)

(Nicole gasps)

- It's another trap.

- There's no smiley face here. Where's the smiley face?

- Where's the fucking smiley face.

- Come on. Move! Move!

(Nicole panting)

- Wait, I can't leave them.

(Nicole sobbing)

(metal clanging) (footsteps tapping)

(tense music)

- They won't open.

Oh my God Wade, what are we gonna do?

- All right. All right.

Okay.

I need you to do something for me.

I need you to take this thing out of my leg?

- I can't. No, no I can't. No.

- You can. Come on baby you can.

- Okay.

- Aargh! Fuck! Aargh.

(Wade screams in agony)

(fabric ripping)

- We're lost.

We're lost, we'll never find the others now.

- Are you afraid to be alone with me?

- No. I'm just afraid.

Sorry for the things I said.

- Save it Nicole, whatever you're about to say, save it.

We're not having this conversation right now.

- Were you really going to propose tonight?

- Yeah.

What was I thinking?

(gas hissing)

(ominous music)

- There. Is that better?

- No.

(light music)

- This guy really likes to decorate.

- It's like being inside a vagina.

- Not my vagina.

- Of course not. Yours has teeth.

- Well, if that's how you feel about it

you don't ever have to see it again.

(gas hissing)

(body thuds)

Robert?

Robert, wake up! Come on, wake up!

Don't leave me alone.

Robert, I would have said yes.

(Nicole gasps)

(Nicole gasps)

It's just a dream. It's just a dream.

(tense music)

(Nicole shrieks)

(tense music)

(tense music continues)

- Where's Kathy?

- I don't know.

- What about Nicole?

- Gone.

- If she were dead her name would be crossed out.

It's not.

It's circled.

- She's as good as dead.

(Wade grunts)

- That's it? You're just going to sit there.

- Yup.

- I'm glad to see that chivalry is alive and well.

- What do you want me to do, hot shot?

Break down these walls with my bare hands.

I tried that already.

Good luck picking that lock.

- [Kathy] Wade.

Wade I'm over here. - Kathy?

You okay?

- I guess so. How did we get here?

- We were drugged.

- Where's Nicole?

- He's got her.

- But we think she's still alive.

- We've got to find her.

- How are we going to find her?

We can't get out, we're trapped in here.

- There must there be a way?

- Why? Why must there be a way?

- There's a tunnel. I think I can get through.

- No fucking way.

- I think I can make it through.

I'm going to find a way to get you out of there.

- Kathy, no.

If you can get out, just get out, go!

- Speak for yourself.

If she wants to go and try and find help

that's her business.

- Maybe it's another trap.

Maybe I should stay here with you.

- He put you in that room so he could come in there

and kill you while we stand here like idiots and watch.

- Don't say that.

- He wants to emasculate us.

- This is not about you, you fucking egomaniac.

To him you're just another party crasher.

You weren't even on the list.

- Well I am now sister. I'm in this as much as any of you.

- Wade, what should I do?

- Find some way to get us out of here.

- Just go. Get out.

- What about Nicole. Should I try to find her?

- There's nothing we can do for her.

- Just go.

- All right.

- I can't believe my fate is in the hands

of some goddamn celebrity chef.

- She's pretty good with a knife.

- She doesn't have a knife.

(door creaking)

(suspenseful music)

(Nicole gasping)

(Nicole screaming incoherently)

- How long have you and Nicole been together?

- I don't know. Maybe two years.

- Two years? That's it.

Now this maniac's got her and you're just sitting there.

She's not the one that's heartless. It's you.

- You don't know anything about it.

- I know what I see.

- Oh yeah. What do you see?

Nothing. You don't see a fucking thing.

- You have no idea what is going on here.

We are puppets, puppets, man.

And somebody else is pulling the strings.

- So who is it?

- Excuse me.

- Who is it? You're in on this aren't you?

- What? Are you out of your fucking mind?

(Wade yelling)

- You're not on the list. You are on the list.

Your girlfriend's gone, torn to pieces for all you know.

And you sit there.

- What the fuck do you want?

Should I bash my head against the wall

just so you think I'm a nice guy?

Jesus.

- What about Pam?

You were the last one to see her.

When some psycho has a knife to your throat,

a knife to your fucking throat, he decides to walk away?

What the fuck is going on?

- And I suppose I drugged myself.

- Sure, why not?

- That way I could be dragged down here to rot

in this fucking pit with you.

Are you mentally deficient?

I mean, are you fucking retarded?

We both woke up here together remember?

- I didn't see you wake up.

- He is playing us against each other.

Don't you get it. How can you be so fucking stupid.

(ominous music)

That is not mine.

I have never seen that before in my life.

(Robert grunting)

- Where are they?

Where are they?

- I don't know. Aargh.

(Robert's head thudding) (tense music)

(ominous music)

(Nicole screaming)

(circular saw buzzing)

(heart beating)

(indistinct singing)

♪ Girls and boys come out to play ♪

♪ The moon is shining as bright as day ♪

- [Kathy] Help! Help!

Help!

(ominous music)

Wade!

- You all right? What happened.

- I found Nicole.

She was still alive. But I couldn't help her.

He grabbed me and he'll be back for me any minute.

How'd you get out?

- There was a key.

- A key? Where?

Where's Robert?

- Robert's dead.

Come on. Let's get out.

- How did he die?

Did you see it?

- Who?

- Robert.

- Yeah I saw it.

- Was there a trap?

When you opened the door, was there another trap?

- I don't want to talk about it. Okay.

He's gone. It's over.

- Oh no. Was it awful?

- Yeah. Wasn't great.

- Poor thing.

It could've been you. And then what would I have done?

- Come on.

(ominous music)

- Oh my God!

- These are all dishes you've cooked on your show.

Hey, I said I was a fan.

- Look I'm next and you're dessert.

- Dammit, I am not dessert.

I have an idea.

- I never thought I'd end up like this.

A worm dangling on the end of a fish hook.

- Don't worry. I won't let a thing happen to you.

Do you believe me?

- So what now?

- Well, so far I've kept all my New Year's resolutions.

- Very impressive. I didn't make any this year.

- Oh, but you have to.

- Okay. My New Year's resolution is not to die.

(Kathy laughs)

(ominous music)

(footsteps tapping)

Oh fuck! (groans)

Why are you doing this? Just tell me.

I'm gonna die anyway. Right?

Right?

Dying right now.

If you got some kind of beef with me.

Not a music fan?

I fucked your sister. (laughs)

(Wade grunts)

Come on man, just tell me.

Get it off your chest. You know?

You'll feel better.

Tell me!

Tell me!

Just say something.

Kathy?

(foreboding music)

(footsteps tapping)

(suspenseful music)

- My god. It's my number one fan.

- What are you talking about?

- That's what he always says.

Every taping, every personal appearance.

He's always there.

This is all my fault.

- It's not your fault. Don't say that. He's psychotic.

He's been stalking all of us for years.

Not just you.

You saved me.

I can't believe we made it.

- Here. Let me...

Actually. I don't think you'll be keeping

that New Year's resolution of yours.

- What do you mean?

- When I was a little girl,

You know what my mother told me?

She said that inner beauty is what really matters.

Do you believe that's true?

- I don't understand.

- Well, it's a simple question.

Do you believe inner beauty is what really matters?

- Yeah, sure.

- Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

It's a lie.

It's the biggest lie there is.

The kind of thing they tell fat girls

to make them feel better.

- Wait. I know you.

- Sure you do. I'm Kathy King.

Can't walk down the street without seeing

my face on a billboard or the side of a bus.

- No. You're that girl. Philmore High.

Your name's not Kathy. What's your name?

- You don't remember?

I can't tell you how much that hurts my feelings.

Then again why would you?

In high school you never even looked at me.

It was as though I didn't exist.

And when I finally worked up the courage to tell you

how much I loved you, you laughed in my face.

Of course you don't remember my name.

You never called me by my name.

What did you call me? You must remember that.

- Lady lardass.

- Lady lardass.

So evocative isn't it.

- Kay Knight. That's you?

- 200 pounds and a lifetime ago.

Now I'm getting rid of the dead weight.

- We were just kids.

What the hell did I know? I was just a stupid kid.

You can't hold that against me.

- You never learned the golden rule.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

- Are you trying to tell me six people are dead

because they never learned the golden rule?

- Listen to you all high and mighty.

Don't forget you killed one of them yourself.

By the way, thanks for that. It was a big help.

- What about your biggest fan?

Surely from your warped perspective

he doesn't deserve to die.

- Well, somebody's got to take a fall

and it ain't gonna be America's cooking show sweetheart.

That's for sure.

- Why? Why now?

Look at you.

You've everything you could have ever wanted.

Isn't living well the best revenge.

That's what they say, right?

- Yeah. Living well's pretty good.

But I take killing people as the best revenge really.

- You're insane.

- No kidding.

And now before a live studio audience, here she is folks.

You know her. You love her.

You can't live without her.

That very dirty girl.

Hello and welcome to "Cooking a la King."

I'm your host, Kathy King.

(Wade applauds)

Today, we have a very special show for you.

It's a full menu of recipes for revenge.

We begin with a pig appetizer.

Take one schoolyard bully.

You know the one, he chased you into the alley

behind the butcher shop and pushed you into a dumpster

full of rotting meat.

Let him ripen into a misogynistic jerk,

stab quickly and hang to bleed.

Serve with a side of party crasher entrails.

Now we're onto the first course,

a little something I like to call the two faces of bitch.

You remember that girl you met on the first day of work

at your exciting new job.

Do you remember how nice you thought she was.

You thought she was your friend, but then she

stole your ideas and took all the credit.

She got a promotion and the fat girl got fired.

Take this lying, manipulative hag,

butterfly neatly with an ax, wipe your hands

and you're done.

Second course, the heart of a whore.

This one's a real rib sticker.

And all you need is the slut that stole your first

real boyfriend, just to prove that she could.

She lured him away with her shameless seductions.

Then dumped him six weeks later

when something better came along.

Remove her still beating heart and stuff it

into her wide open mouth.

Garnished with her latest conquest, plate and serve.

(footsteps stomping)

(Kathy grunts)

Now, where was I?

(Wade grunting)

Of course on this show, we always leave room for dessert

because revenge should be sweet.

Take one high school crush who destroyed your feelings

of self-worth without batting an eye,

turn the tables.

(Wade gags)

And serve cold.

Mm, doesn't that look yummy.

Just follow my easy steps

and you'll be greeting the New Year with that deep hunger

inside of you satisfied like never before.

(ominous music)

(rock music)

♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And never brought to mind ♪

♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ Auld lang syne my dear ♪

♪ Auld lang syne ♪

♪ We'll take a cup of kindness now of auld lang syne ♪

♪ We twae have run about the braes ♪

♪ And put the gowans fine ♪

♪ We wandered many a weary fit ♪

♪ And auld lang syne ♪

♪ And surely you'll be your pint stop ♪

♪ And surely I'll be mine ♪

♪ We'll take a little cup of kindness ♪

♪ For the sake of auld lang syne ♪

♪ Auld lang syne my dear ♪

♪ Auld lang syne ♪

♪ We'll take a cup of kindness yet ♪

♪ For the days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ For the days of auld lang syne ♪