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1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:06,272
Oh, Hayley, you know what
I drove by the other day?
2
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,642
That old place we always used to
go to when you were little,
3
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,679
the ice cream shop
with the kinda confusing name?
4
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,447
- Hot Scoops?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:15,815
Whaddya you say we go after this,
6
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,283
for old times' sake?
7
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:19,519
Ah, wish I could, Big Mama
8
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:22,188
but I gotta, uh... get to work.
9
00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:24,257
I thought Sub Hub was still closed
10
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:26,459
because of that whole horse meat thing.
11
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:29,396
You know, how they found out it
was actually raccoon meat?
12
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,297
That's right, huh?
13
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,199
I meant, um, I have a...
14
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,634
ah, let's see...
15
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,469
Groff Progressive Student
Alliance meeting.
16
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,905
On Cesar Chavez Day?
17
00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,641
Babe, it's the Scholastic Book Fair
18
00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,209
at the middle school today.
19
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,545
Can I get an advance on my allowance?
20
00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:47,647
Okay, but no "Goosebumps."
21
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:48,848
You'll be awake all night.
22
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,320
Since when does Hayley
have that kind of loot?
23
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:58,024
Hm, must be pickin' up a
little extra scratch somehow.
24
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,627
Some, uh, walkin' around money?
25
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,862
Chuckle cheddar? Some funky frog-skins?
26
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,665
Play-Doh, lil stash o' cushion cash.
27
00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:08,902
But where is Hayley picking up
that kind of wallet candy?
28
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:10,203
Must get it from me.
29
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,038
The ability to make money, that is,
30
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,673
not the money itself.
31
00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:15,375
As you know, having come from poverty,
32
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,844
I pride myself on my ability
to provide this family
33
00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,079
a high standard of living.
34
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,380
Steve-o, heads up.
35
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,549
Escargot, comin' in hot.
36
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,052
Hold up, gettin' a call
from my financial planner.
37
00:01:26,607 --> 00:01:27,720
Scotty Boombotty.
38
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,889
Lemme get somewhere quiet
so you can really scream
39
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,092
those big-ass numbers at me.
40
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,027
Double digit gains, you say?
41
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:37,831
- No. I said "devastating losses."
- What?
42
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:41,901
I told you not to put everything
you had into pornographic pogs.
43
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,404
But the children of the '90s
are all grown up.
44
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,039
Naturally they'll now be
looking for pogs
45
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:47,907
with more adult-oriented content.
46
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,110
I remember the words
"sure thing" being said.
47
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,946
By you. I begged you not to do it.
48
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,547
Okay, give it to me straight.
49
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,582
How much have I lost?
50
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,883
Stan...
51
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:58,084
you're gonna lose the house.
52
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,954
No one must know.
53
00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:04,357
No one must know that anything is wrong.
54
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,626
Porn pogs must've gone tits up.
55
00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:17,604
I don't think he's coming down.
56
00:02:19,285 --> 00:02:21,107
Ah, shizballs, I gotta scoot.
57
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,676
Here, can you stick this
on Dad's back for me?
58
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:25,778
For your trouble.
59
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,950
Since when does Hayley have a bleeper?
60
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,986
Are you trying to say "beeper"?
61
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,788
Where the hell is this guy?
62
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,757
I got shit I gotta do.
63
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,762
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
64
00:02:45,446 --> 00:02:46,900
No one must know.
65
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,402
No one must know that
I've bankrupted the family.
66
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,137
You've bankrupted
the what now?
67
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,972
Probably shoulda done this
in the bathroom.
68
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,008
You heard nothing.
69
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,076
Looks like you're gonna have to find us
70
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,845
some money fast, Francine.
71
00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,147
One more thing to worry about.
72
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:02,949
What else is weighing on you?
73
00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:04,951
Those chimpanzees in the news,
74
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,686
that've been stepping on landmines
75
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,454
and losing their limbs?
76
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,522
The chimp-u-tees?
77
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,990
No, it's Hayley.
78
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,493
Klaus, I think she might be...
79
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,628
- dealing.
- Pai Gow?
80
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,865
- Drugs.
- Cool. But no way.
81
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:21,534
Hayley's a drug doer, not a drug dealer.
82
00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,870
Oh, yeah? What about the money,
83
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:26,940
the secretiveness, the bleeper...
84
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,676
Sometimes I feel like
I don't know her at all.
85
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,011
It's not like it was
when she was little.
86
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,014
We were two peas in a pod back then.
87
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,849
Inseparable.
88
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:40,520
And everywhere we went people
just ate us right up, too.
89
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,156
You've heard the term
"daughter-mama-charm-a-rama"?
90
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:44,857
No, never.
91
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,160
Well, we were a mega
daughter-mama-charm-a-rama.
92
00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:48,261
Oh, well, that I've hear.
93
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,530
But that was when she was a kid.
94
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,833
Now, honestly, God knows
what she could be up to.
95
00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,201
Why would you put this in here?
96
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,737
- Whatcha doing?
- Nothing.
97
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,206
Say, what's in the duffel bag?
98
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,108
Nothing. Gotta go.
99
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,712
You've been making
that face a lot lately.
100
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,081
Mm. Like this. Mm.
101
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:09,582
This face. Mm.
102
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,287
I've ruined us, Roger.
103
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,156
All our money, our iconic house, gone.
104
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,425
Oh, so you need to pick up
a little extra scratch?
105
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,827
Funky frog-skins?
106
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,462
A little zip-a-dee-moo-lah?
107
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,932
'Scuse me one sec.
108
00:04:26,648 --> 00:04:28,201
You. Don't move.
109
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,837
Rugged despair, salt-and-pepper stubble,
110
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,138
Buzz Lightyear chin...
111
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,673
Why are you wearing a garbage bag?
112
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,975
I didn't bring a costume with me
so I had to make do
113
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,177
with what I could find
in the bathroom trash can.
114
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:42,115
Giardia Capitosto, Web Ad
Stock Photo Talent Manager.
115
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,916
The internet needs handsome,
116
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,852
graying, worried faces like yours.
117
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:50,123
Erectile dysfunction, reverse
mortgages, 401k mismanagement...
118
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,692
from now on, you could be
the face of them all.
119
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,927
- Is there money in that?
- I think so?
120
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,830
All I know is you've got it, kid,
121
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,866
and I'm gonna put you in the pictures.
122
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,467
The little pictures
at the bottom of the screen
123
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,303
on Barstool Sports.
124
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,119
What the hell are you doing
in that bush?
125
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:24,023
If you must know,
I am trying to sneak into
126
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,759
my ex-boyfriend's apartment.
127
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:27,860
Sheila?
128
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,196
Oh, great.
129
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,468
- Aah!
- The jib is up.
130
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,403
I know you've been pushing...
131
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,374
...arthritis medication?
132
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,343
It's true. These last few months
133
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,846
I've had a secret side hustle
going as a...
134
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,548
pharmaceutical representative.
135
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:52,318
So that's how you've been making
all that extra money?
136
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,921
Pushing pills for Big Pharma.
137
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:57,857
Mom, I am begging you
to keep this secret.
138
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,559
If anyone at the Groff
Progressives found out...
139
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:02,261
Oh, I'll keep it secret, alright.
140
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,897
Secret like a fox.
141
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,432
- What does that...
- I want in.
142
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,267
I want to push pills
for Big Pharma, too.
143
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:16,342
Isn't this whole Pharma rep
thing a little shady, though?
144
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,212
Buttering up a bunch
of pervy old doctors to...
145
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,848
Informing a bunch of pervy old doctors,
146
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,516
about a miracle arthritis drug
147
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,785
that really will help so many people.
148
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:28,287
Hey, if I ever found out
Bendjuvanex wasn't all
149
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,490
it's cracked up to be,
I would quit like that.
150
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,392
But this drug is the real deal.
151
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:35,194
Derived from armadillo mucin
humanely harvested
152
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,563
from the best-treated armadillos
in the world.
153
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,198
Plus, it's been a great way
154
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,501
to make a little extra scratch, ya know?
155
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,336
That light-green good-good.
156
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:48,174
Our scientists start with the best part
157
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,876
of the armadillo, the mucin.
158
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,712
And through a proprietary
extraction technology
159
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:56,149
yield an efficacy rate
of 42% over placebo...
160
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,383
...with a Bayesian credible interval
161
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,853
of .52 to 1.39.
162
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,723
Alleviation of arthritic
immobility reaches
163
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,725
39% and 47%...
164
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,260
over leading generic therapies
165
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:08,728
at initial dosages...
166
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,898
...of 200 and 400 milligrams
respectively.
167
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,700
Other compelling numbers include 27,
168
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,336
7,000, 70,000...
169
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,873
Okay, thanks so much,
170
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,575
but I think I'll just
stick with generics.
171
00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:24,310
Have a blessed day.
172
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,279
Another bust.
173
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,582
The commissions came so easy
at first, but lately...
174
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,417
Maybe it's time to just hang it up.
175
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,587
Or maybe we just need to
jazz up our pitch a little...
176
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,457
Mom, I've been doing this
a while now, okay?
177
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,859
This is how we do it.
178
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,898
Alright, sugar dumpling,
179
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,934
now, y'all don't forget your chip clips
180
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,470
and your pen-flashlight-thumbdrive.
181
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:52,271
Oh, sweet.
182
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,907
And I'll be in touch
with those Shark tickets, too.
183
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:58,478
Do you come with the tickets?
184
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,446
Listen, y'all keep those prescriptions
185
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,549
a-scribble-dibble-doodlin',
and I just might.
186
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:04,884
Kidding not kidding.
187
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,486
Oh, I will.
188
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:07,920
Also kidding.
189
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,156
I'm not kidding.
190
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,795
There he is.
191
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,498
My worried web ad Adonis.
192
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,766
So rugged. So handsome.
193
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,301
So haunted.
194
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,803
Brian, your KFC Famous Bowl is here.
195
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,472
- Don't move a muscle.
- Bubbeleh, amazing news.
196
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,808
We already have another
10 gigs lined up.
197
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,977
Your money troubles are finito.
198
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,446
Ah. Oh, my God, thank you, Roger.
199
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,814
Giardia Something-Something.
200
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,616
This is such a relief.
201
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,851
Now, you've just taken out
a reverse mortgage,
202
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,487
and you're rocked to your very core
203
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,624
contemplating the unforeseen risks.
204
00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:47,994
No, no, no, no, no, no.
205
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:51,764
What the... You, trash woman, over here.
206
00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:52,999
- What's up?
- What happened?
207
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,367
- He's lost the look.
- The what?
208
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,335
The look. Look.
209
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,371
Just look at him.
210
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,505
Oh, yeah.
211
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,873
God, he sucks.
212
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,475
Where's the concern?
213
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:04,977
The stunned, grave, soul-piercing worry?
214
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,979
It's not there. He's [BLEEP] it up.
215
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,549
- I got this.
- What's up. Everything good?
216
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,684
Hmm, you know, on the set
of "The Exorcist,"
217
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,986
Billy Friedkin once slapped an actor
218
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,522
to get the stunned,
haunted look he needed.
219
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,524
Well, that's a really
interesting bit of movie trivia.
220
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,526
- Thanks for...
- There it is. Go, go, go.
221
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,031
- Hayley, listen!
- Aah!
222
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:29,302
Sorry. Look, I know you wanna
stick to facts and figures,
223
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,370
but if we're gonna keep this gig goin'
224
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:35,074
and the money a-flowin',
we have to change things up.
225
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,410
Okay, well, just how, exactly?
226
00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:39,979
By focusing on the four S's...
227
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:43,749
sex, sass, and swag.
228
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,386
That's three. What's the fourth "S"?
229
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,754
It's "us."
230
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,723
The "S" is at the end of that one.
231
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,892
Us. You and me.
232
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,728
The daughter-mama-charm-a-rama.
233
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:57,897
Trust me.
234
00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:01,367
This is how we do it.
235
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,369
♪ This is how we do it ♪
236
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,838
♪ Sha, la, la, la, la, la, lo ♪
237
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:07,773
♪ This is how we do it ♪
238
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:11,077
♪ Sha, la, la, la, la, la, lo ♪
239
00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:13,079
Okay, I'll do anything you want.
240
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,614
Just give it to me.
241
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:17,350
♪ This is how we do it ♪
242
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,852
♪ I'll never come wack
on an old-school track ♪
243
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:21,787
♪ This is how we do it ♪
244
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:24,423
♪ I'm kinda buzzed, it's all because ♪
245
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,925
♪ This is how we do it ♪
246
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,661
♪ South Central does it
like nobody does ♪
247
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,796
♪ This is how we do it ♪
248
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:34,100
♪ Oh, it's party time ♪
249
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,102
♪ This is how we do it ♪
250
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,404
♪ Straight up comin'
from the West Side ♪
251
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:40,806
♪ This is how we do it ♪
252
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,942
♪ OG's got the flavor, yeah ♪
253
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,644
♪ This is how we do it ♪
254
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,547
Hmm, the broad's got the right look,
255
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,649
but your boy...
256
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:51,117
On it.
257
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,452
And this is how we do it.
258
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,588
- Who are you talking to?
- Anyone who'll listen.
259
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:57,089
♪ This is how we do it ♪
260
00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:00,159
- ♪ South Central does it like nobody does ♪
- _
261
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,927
♪ This is how we do it ♪
262
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,830
- ♪ To all my neighbors you got much flavor ♪
- _
263
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,632
♪ This is how we do it ♪
264
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,602
- ♪ I'll never come wack on an old-school track ♪
- _
265
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,103
♪ This is how we do it ♪
266
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:13,572
- ♪ I'm kinda buzzed, it's all because ♪
- _
267
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,940
♪ This is how we... ♪
268
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:16,809
Have we made enough money
to save the house yet?
269
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,977
Not quite, love.
270
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,545
But never fear.
271
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:21,981
Because you're moving up
to the big leagues...
272
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:26,786
a live-action TV commercial
for, wait for it, Bendjuvanex.
273
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:29,889
One last big slap, and
your money troubles are finito.
274
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,925
Whaddya say we go to BJ's
and celebrate with a Pizookie?
275
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,493
One more big slap,
276
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,962
and your troubles
could be just beginning.
277
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:38,631
Oh, right, I forgot we were here.
278
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,800
All those slaps have left
your face as fragile
279
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:45,004
as a gossamer veil of ice
atop a springtime lagoon.
280
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,839
My God, that's...
281
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,841
a beautiful description.
282
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,043
The point is, even one more slap
283
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,145
to Stan's bullshit face bones
284
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,547
and he risks...
285
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,216
a full facial cave-in.
286
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,721
I still wanna get a Pizookie.
287
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,894
I give you our new top regional reps,
288
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,197
Hayley and Francine Smith,
289
00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:15,000
who will be receiving
a hefty bonus and the honor
290
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:19,538
of driving the Bendjuvanex Pillmobile.
291
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,745
I couldn'a done it without ya.
292
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,980
So here's to you, Big Mama.
293
00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:31,083
Nah, nah, nah, Little Mama. To us.
294
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:33,552
I couldn't've done it
without you either.
295
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,721
No us? No magic.
296
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,089
And no magic...
297
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,858
no mona-a-a-y.
298
00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:43,829
Aight, I gotta use
the little reps' room.
299
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:52,238
Congra-a-a-a-tulations to the big hero.
300
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,606
You wanna go, brah?
301
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,007
What's your problem, chief?
302
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,077
Our problem is Bendjuvanex.
303
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,180
I was the lead scientist
who developed it.
304
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:04,049
And this miracle drug that I made,
305
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:05,785
and that you're selling...
306
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:08,187
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
307
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,622
Oh, no.
308
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:10,723
Does it not work?
309
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,258
What? It works great.
310
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,793
I take it myself.
311
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:18,864
In fact, it works too great.
312
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:21,600
The clinical trials all
went so well at first.
313
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,870
The subjects' arthritis
improved rapidly.
314
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:29,041
But soon, after ingesting
all that damn mucin,
315
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,611
they must've built up so many
armadillo pheromones that...
316
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,879
they began to attract...
317
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,615
...predators.
318
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,784
First came the coyotes.
319
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,719
Our headquarters was
right next to a desert.
320
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,922
Then the bears, owls,
321
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:46,559
red-tailed hawks, a few Komodo dragons.
322
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,128
94% of the non-control group
323
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:52,765
was killed by armadillo predators.
324
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,633
Well, that was in a lab setting.
325
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,669
We don't know it'll translate to...
326
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:57,903
Yes, we do!
327
00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,206
And we covered it up!
328
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,845
God knows what we're
unleashing on the world!
329
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,847
Shame on all of us!
330
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,851
I didn't get to finish my negroni!
331
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:12,918
Hey.
332
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,019
Did I miss anything?
333
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:18,190
Nope. In fact, you're
getting half a negroni.
334
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:23,529
Make sure you got
the Bendjuvanex barbecue set.
335
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,398
The doc we're seeing here
is a total swag hag.
336
00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,403
Hey, you can't park that there!
337
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:34,874
It's okay! We're top regional reps!
338
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,042
His office is just through the E.R.
339
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,350
Another coyote bite here.
340
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:47,853
Komodo dragon just tore through
the Ruby Tuesday's on Sixth.
341
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,555
- Incoming!
- Coyotes?
342
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:52,258
Komodo... What the hell is going on?
343
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,093
I have no idea.
344
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:56,562
Oh, don't you?
345
00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:59,431
This is exactly what I warned
you would happen.
346
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,433
Mom, what's this guy talking about?
347
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,370
I'm talking about Bendjuvanex.
348
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,405
They knew this would happen.
349
00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:08,874
They knew and they covered it up.
350
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,409
And so did she.
351
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,912
- Wha... I...
- Bear!
352
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,182
Oh, God, what have we done?
353
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,084
So this is true?
354
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,953
And you... knew?
355
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,188
I... didn't know for sure that...
356
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,124
And you let me go out there with you,
357
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:27,426
pushing this death drug onto people?
358
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:30,429
- I just... I needed...
- You needed what?
359
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:32,097
A little extra scratch?
360
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,432
How could you?
361
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:36,268
I... I never want to speak to you again.
362
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,305
Can you do me a solid?
363
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,608
Check out my toe tag.
Tell me what it says?
364
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,476
Please, please, please,
please, please, please, please.
365
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,645
"Goner."
366
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,281
Are you sure you want me
to slap you, Stan?
367
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,583
If you care to remember,
your face might cave in.
368
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,285
I'm afraid we have no choice.
369
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,054
It's a risk I'll just have to take.
370
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,289
I needs dem clams.
371
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:02,494
Whoa. Now, that's what I call
grave, soul-piercing worry.
372
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,129
Stan. Lock that in.
373
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,931
You got back the look. It's a miracle.
374
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,434
What the... What...
What the hell is this?
375
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,469
Weren't you just a photographer
a few weeks ago?
376
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:13,105
Yeah, my career has advanced, too.
377
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,340
I'm a director now.
378
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,475
But this is an "after" commercial.
379
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,645
After the drug has given hm
a new lease on life.
380
00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,281
I need ease, contentment, joy.
381
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:24,083
Quick, Stan, smile.
382
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,353
I... I can't. I'm locked in here.
383
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:28,921
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
384
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,255
Roger, slap me.
385
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:31,991
If you could slap worry onto my face,
386
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,492
just maybe you can slap it...
387
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,532
♪ Bendjuvanex ♪
388
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,204
Look forward again to the free time,
389
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:48,540
the quality time,
390
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,909
the good times.
391
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:53,512
Bendjuvanex.
392
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,514
Look forward again...
393
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:58,217
to what's around the bend.
394
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,387
♪ Bend, bend, Bendjuvanex ♪
395
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,189
Side effects,
while rare, may include hypoxia,
396
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,225
hypothermia, heart palpitations,
hyperhydrosis,
397
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:08,961
hydrohyposis, encephalitis,
elephantitis, and weeping anus.
398
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,229
If you experience weeping anus
that lasts longer
399
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,031
than 24 hours, that's a bad sign.
400
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,133
If while taking the drug
you see any coyotes, bears,
401
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,402
owls, Komodo dragons or various
desert raptors lurking nearby,
402
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,537
don't worry about it. It's
probably just your imagination.
403
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,372
♪ Bendjuvan... ♪
404
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:23,409
They're still covering it all up
and selling the damn stuff.
405
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,044
Sorry, what? No one's been keeping me
406
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:26,412
in the loop on this one.
407
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:28,414
You were, dealing Pai Gow or something?
408
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,685
- This a religious thing?
- No.
409
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,655
I'm here on behalf of Bobo's Promise,
410
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:39,058
the chimp-u-tee char-i-tee?
411
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:41,026
Are you Francine Smith?
412
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,694
[BLEEP] no.
413
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:46,331
Oh, well, we're here to thank her
414
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,200
for the generous weekly donations
415
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,601
of $10,000
416
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,503
she's been making
for the past two months.
417
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,739
Wait, that would've been
her entire share
418
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:56,742
of everything we made,
from the very start...
419
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,410
"Made."
420
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,447
So that means there's no more money?
421
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,583
Ah, crap, I'm selling this thing
for scrap metal, then.
422
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,453
See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya, Bobo.
423
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:19,498
So you didn't do it for the money?
424
00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:21,266
No.
425
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,268
I knew your dad was taking care of that.
426
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:26,271
I mean, his face is all over
the dang internet.
427
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:29,541
The money... was always just an excuse.
428
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:32,111
- For what?
- To hang out with you.
429
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:34,413
Like we did when you were little.
430
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,783
That's why I didn't tell you
when I found out about the drug.
431
00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:40,586
I just didn't want it to end.
432
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,421
I'm sorry, kiddo.
433
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,591
Now, come on. Let's go [BLEEP]
434
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,060
that [BLEEP] pharmaceutical
company's shit
435
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,862
right up in the [BLEEP] face.
436
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,301
Alright, we go in through the vents,
437
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,803
make our way to the C-suite,
438
00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:00,405
download the secret animal attack data,
439
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,141
and get it to the press.
440
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,609
Why'd you bring the t-shirt cannon?
441
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,210
Case we run into any trouble.
442
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,525
Got it.
443
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,897
Hand it over, ladies.
444
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:30,836
Quick, Hayley.
445
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,404
Charm him.
446
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:36,542
You think you can tug
447
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,477
at my heartstrings?
448
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,679
I'm a pharmaceutical executive.
449
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:42,681
I don't have any.
450
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,652
Run!
451
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,604
Gotcha.
452
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,172
Hey. Skinko.
453
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:10,042
Time to take your medicine.
454
00:20:12,916 --> 00:20:13,979
Oh, no.
455
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,418
Mr. Skinko, coyotes have
456
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,587
breached the perimeter
and are in the vents.
457
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:28,894
Armadillo tuck.
458
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,899
You know, we should do this more often.
459
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:37,102
Hang out, that is, not, you know, this.
460
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:48,914
Now, that's what I call
a little extra scratch.
461
00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:51,416
Let's get outta here.
462
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,285
This is actually pretty gruesome.
463
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,990
Bye. Have a great time.
464
00:21:00,077 --> 00:21:01,978
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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