Original subtitles

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J hey, hey, what do you say?

J blue, blue, all the way!

Oh golly, look at him go!

A truly sensational pass, ladies and gentlemen!

Blue grange has broken seven tackles!

He's at 10, the five!

Touchdown!

The 1963 national championship!

Oh, blue, darling.

You'd probably love me if I was a nice midwestern girl

without this Brooklyn accent,

but oh, I'll try hard to be a wasp.

I'll bathe in milk, eat white bread without the crust,

and name our children Kent, Steve, and Mary Anne.

J hey, hey, what do you say?

J blue, blue all the way!

Look how dirty you get...

Blue, are the rumors of you going pro true?

Of course he's going pro.

He's the best.

No, he's not.

He'd get hurt.

He's not gonna go near another football!

Oh yeah, he's getting a football.

Put that down, you'll get hurt!

Blue, smile.

It's for the cover of sports lllustrated.

Uh-oh.

Girls, you know that halftime salute

to vegetables worked great.

- Thanks. - Thanks.

Hey, what do you say we all go to the malt shop?

The football players will be there.

Sounds fun!

Can I come too?

Forget it, Bambi!

Cheerleaders only,

so get outta here!

You know, beat it.

All right, stand back, stand back, police.

Bring that stretcher over here, bring it over.

I don't know who could have possibly done such a thing.

It's supposed to be the act of a maniac.

Either that or a very large chef.

Hal

oh, you scared me.

Are you pepe?

No, I am pepe.

I haven't been peppy since they removed my prostate gland.

May I clean inside of your megaphone?

No, no thank you.

I was told to ask for pepe, the maintenance man.

That is I, that is I.

My name is Bambi.

Bambi like the deer.

Like the little deer.

Only thee that is pure at heart

and says his prayers at night

may become a cheery leader

when the pom poms bloom and the Autumn moon is bright.

That's my ma ma.

Oh, you must be salt, pepe's mother.

So, you're the one starting

the cheerleading camp again, eh?

That's right.

Excuse me for saying this,

but you must be very stupid

because the cheerleading camp has been ruined by death

since 1963 when those cheerleaders were skewered to death

and then in '69 when their feet were...

You mustn't stay here.

I know every cheerleading camp here has ended in death,

but I've put all my life savings into this camp

as well as my time, energy,

and all-American cheerleading spirit!

I'm gonna make this camp a success.

Sure, I was turned down to be a cheerleader in '63,

but I was good, I was the best,

but they had their own little cliques

and only their friends could join.

So I had to transfer over to embraceable u

where I was captain for four years.

But now, I'll show them.

They'll see what I can do.

And I don't want you scaring my cheerleaders away

with those stories!

Can't we tell them the one about the mass murderer

who escaped from the prison?

No.

Can we tell them about the psychopath

who escaped from asylum?

No.

What about the waitress and the donkey?

Well, only if they're good.

Bus now leaving for akashabee,

Indiana, Denver, and Honolulu.

Stop, child.

Whoa.

Do you know the lord loves you?

Do you know that he's with you constantly

and he has told me personally

that he doesn't want you to sin unless he can watch?

Don't be tempted, child.

Don't get on that bus.

Mama.

You mustn't go to that evil camp with those,

those cheerleaders.

Everyone will see your dirty pillows.

Those aren't dirty pillows, mama.

They're breasts.

Not those.

Those are titties.

Those are dirty pillows.

Those aren't my dirty pillows, mama.

They're his dirty pillows!

They're not dirty pillows, they're breasts.

Butt out.

Satan, Satan is within my child.

Cast him out so she won't be led into temptation.

Mama, stop!

Mama, I've never been away from home before.

I never kissed a boy,

never went out on a date, nothing.

I just want to be a normal girl.

I'm going to that cheerleading camp

and I'm gonna be like everybody else.

I'm gonna make friends.

I'm gonna have fun.

I'm gonna wear makeup,

I'm gonna go out with boys,

I'm gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs,

and I'm gonna finally get to use my diaphragm!

I didn't raise you to be a cheerleader!

Ma!

Baby, baby.

Come on, ma.

No hickies please.

No hickies, no hickies before I go.

Now, Glenn,

remember when you're away at camp,

don't ever touch yourself or you'll go blind.

Son, son!

Son, son!

Good luck at camp, son.

Want to buy a pencil?

Okay, pop,

but only if you do your ray Charles.

Oh.

You know, son.

Your mother and I are very proud of you.

We have very high hopes for your future

unlike your brother Jimmy,

the black sheep of the family.

Well, I gotta go now.

Bye, son.

Call every weekend.

I will, pop.

Bye bye. - Bye bye.

Bye bye.

Bye, flicker.

Bye, mom.

Bye, mal

goodbye, son.

Bye bye.

Bye bye.

Bye bye.

It must be morning!

And time to meet the breakfast.

First, from the dairy wonderland of Wisconsin,

it's eggs presented by my own son chip Jr.

And now from the golden wheatfields of Nebraska,

it's toast presented by my lovely wife chip sr.

Good morning, daddy.

Now, here's the moment we've all been waiting for.

All the way from the sunshine state,

it's juice presented by miss special around here,

my own lovely daughter, Mandy north!

Mandy's hobbies include sewing,

tap dancing, and pygmy war rituals.

May I have the envelope please?

Thank you.

And the winner is miss Mandy north!

Tell us, Mandy,

how will you use your title

to help end the world's hunger problem?

Well, I think that all hungry people

should brush their teeth.

You know, I brush my teeth up to 10 times a day

and it always seems that right after I brush,

someone offers me some food.

So if they brush their teeth,

someone will offer them food too.

Oh, good answer, Mandy.

I wish we had time to chat with Mandy

about Russian Chinese d'etat,

but Mandy must run, brush her teeth, floss,

and go to cheerleader's camp.

We'll be right back after this message about hemorrhoids.

- Ooh! - Yeah.

So, how are things out at the airport, Pete?

Oh, didn't you hear, Joe?

I quit being the windsock.

Well, why are you still wearing the hat?

What hat?

Which way to the cheerleader camp?

Can you just tell me where the camp is?

They opened that up again?

Haven't they had enough trouble out there already?

Just tell me where the camp is, all right?

About 10 miles right outside of town, girly, but...

You better be careful though.

There's been some strange goings on out there.

Can I give you a ride?

Well, what kinda car do you drive?

'63 Plymouth.

Forget it.

I don't ride in anything early than a '78.

I'll find my own way.

Need a lift?

Are you kidding?

You have a dent in your hood

and your shirt is three years out of style.

Hit the road.

I want three references

and no relatives.

I want three references and no relatives.

Three references and no relatives.

So, when are you gonna pork Sandy?

Eh, come on, Andy.

I happen to be in love with Sandy.

Don't say pork.

Say screw or hump!

How can you love Sandy?

I mean, she's from our biggest rival,

south Jefferson high.

Andy, Andy, Andy.

Love knows no school rivalry,

just tender emotion and intimacy.

She has said things to me

that no other woman has ever said before.

Like what?

Woohoo, aye, aye, aye!

This is just between you and me, buddy.

Wow.

You know, if anyone found out

that you were dating the head cheerleader from south Jeff...

I'd get kicked off the squad for sure.

I'm miss hoosier.

- Hey! - Hey!

- Hey. - Hey.

Byel

thanks for the ride.

I'll see you at the end of summer.

You didn't buy a round trip ticket, did ya?

Yes, I did.

- We're here! - Wakka-wakka!

Hey, where are all the chicks?

Hey, good lookin'.

Love those eyes.

Say, what's the big idea?

I saw her first!

Leave one for me!

Sorry, Andy.

Hi, toad face.

Pardon my friend's rudeness.

That's all right.

My name's candy Jefferson.

I'm Andy Jackson.

Andy Jackson?

Hey, I read about you in the pom pom press.

You were Mr. megaphone of 1980.

That was me.

Sure looks like you two are really hitting it off.

Ow, Andy!

Hi everyone.

I thought you'd never get here.

Thanks for the ride.

You forgot your candy.

Nancy may do it for jelly beans but I don't.

There she is.

Soin love.

Know exactly what I'm gonna say to her.

The nerve of some people.

Hello, bitch.

Cram it, clown.

- Hi, Sandy. - Wimp.

She loves me.

Wow.

Attention!

Line up!

B shacka lacka, b shacka lacka, b!

About facel

welcome to this year's cheerleader clinic.

I'll be your instructor for the summer.

My name is Bambi.

Hi, Bambi!

Now, I see you've already met,

so let's sound off, roll call.

Roll call.

- Mandy. - Sandy.

- Candy. - Randy.

Andy.

Glenn.

Huh?

Glenn dandy.

Oh!

Hey, Bob.

Hey, Bob, what's the matter?

Ah, Bob.

Homesick for Canada, eh, Bob?

Hey, don't be down.

Your mom and dad, they send you a little snow every week.

You got a letter today.

Ta da.

To mom and dad, eh?

Now, come on, cheer up, Bob.

Driddle.

Driddle.

Driddle, change your name.

It's now Johnson, sir.

Johnson?

Johnson!

I do everything around here,

the cooking, the cleaning.

What does Bob do?

The washing and the ironing.

Big deal.

Get the warden on the phone for me,

will you, please?

Now, it's phone calls too?

What's the matter with him?

Break a hoof or something, Bob?!

I'm Julia child and I'm going to have a very important...

Warden June's office.

- This is sergeant... - Oh, just a minute.

It's for you, warden June.

- Oh, thank you. - You're welcome.

Hello?

Hello, warden.

Oh, I'm so glad you called, Cooper.

I'm calling about the trouble you had last night.

Yes, it was terrible.

Jarrett killed Gilbert, one of our guards,

and made his escape with some power tools.

Jarrett?

Is jarrett the man

who murdered his entire family with a hand drill?

That's right,

then varnished them and made a lovely set of bookshelves.

Despicable.

Yes, but very talented.

Warden, the reason I'm calling is,

the reason I'm calling is that

the cheerleading camp,

the cheerleading camp is starting today at the campus.

I want to be extra careful

that there's no trouble again this year.

Oh, you're so right.

Hm?

Oh, I have to hang up now.

They're going to gag me.

Keep in touch.

Ciao.

Okay, choice of one.

Oh, thank you.

I'll take red.

Smart girl.

Johnson?

Yes, sir.

Johnson, Bob and I are going out to check on the asylum.

We'll meet you later at the morgue.

Why can't I go to the asylum?

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

We're having cake?

Yep, this is gonna be a great summer, Andy.

Just you, and me,

and three gorgeous cheerleaders.

What about Glenn?

Don't worry about him.

He's probably in the bathroom shaving his palms.

What if I don't score?

Andy, Andy, Andy, come on, buddy.

I've got it all figured out.

Just take two of these.

Oh, wow.

Instruction manuals.

Aye, aye, aye.

Enchilada.

Hi.

Hello.

How about these outfits, huh?

Pretty sharp.

Wow!

Field & stream!

Easy, Bob, easy, Bob, easy, Bob.

How many times have I told you?

You're not a chicken.

You're not a chicken!

You're a cat.

Now, go in there and get rid of those mice.

Doctor, is the man who escaped last night dangerous?

- Fletcher? - Yes.

Dangerous?

Oh yes, he's dangerous.

Fletcher is the personification of all evil.

He's well over 7 feet tall,

has the strength of 10 men,

but he has a tiny little peepee.

Doctor,

what kind of treatment have you used with this man?

Oh, only the most intense treatment known to man,

shock treatment.

Your car's been stolen.

Your mother's dead.

Here's your bill.

Well, hello there, good lookin'.

Wow, Catherine the great was right.

You're hung like a human.

Hop in.

I am Fletcher. - I'm jarrett.

Where are you going?

The college.

Me too.

Where you from?

Prison.

Really?

I'm from the asylum.

No kidding.

Maybe we oughta form a club.

Yeah.

You know, my dad has this old barn that we could use,

and it needs some curtains.

You make curtains?

I don't do curtains.

B shacka lacka,

b shacka lacka lacka, b shacka lacka lacka,

b shacka lacka lacka, b shacka lacka lacka,

b shacka lacka lacka, b shacka lacka lacka,

b shacka lacka lacka, b shacka lacka lackal

B shacka lacka, b shacka lacka,

b shacka lacka, b shacka lacka,

b shacka lacka, b shacka lacka.

Your name is Glenn, right?

Yeah, Glenn, right.

That's a nice name, Glenn.

Thanks.

Wait, you're...

Wait, don't tell me.

Is it candy?

No.

Is it Phil?

No.

Guess again.

Is it Mandy?

Right!

Let me guess what school you're from!

My name is Bambi.

Would you like to cheer this well?

I can teach anyone.

You can all be real swell.

Okay, people.

Let's start things off with some exercises.

With me, ready, begin.

And one, and two, and three,

and one, and two...

Here we are, the famous gymnasium

where exploding pom poms

once claimed the lives of five cheerleaders in 1969.

What you're about to see

is a most extinct breed around here.

Living cheerleaders.

Don't forget for a limited time only,

mama is selling souvenirs.

If you act now...

Ignore them!

Jumping Jacks, follow me!

One, two, one...

Take your pictures now of the doomed cheerleaders.

This might be your last chance...

Cut it out, cut it out!

Cut it out, cut it out!

Don't follow Mel

don't follow me!

Don't follow Mel

don't, don't follow!

Now, we are headed

for my favorite part of the tour,

the locker room.

No, sit down!

You will be able to purchase sundries

and well, morphine if you like,

as well as plastic replicas of rodin,

favorite paintings of myself and mama,

and for the ladies,

bronze reproductions of blue grange's jockstrap.

Is it true what pepe said?

Oh, you mean the dead cheerleader stories?

Yeah.

That was nothing.

That was just a stupid legend,

a silly myth

that's been circulated in these parts for many years

and strongly believed to be true by thousands.

Let me rephrase that.

- Yeah. - Rephrase it.

Sure, there's been a few mishaps in the past two years,

but I assure you, there is no danger.

All right, everyone.

Let's take a break.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

Phew, I need a valium.

- Bye, miss Bambi. - Yeah.

I don't know about Bambi.

- Why not? - I think she's just tired.

It's a lot of hard work putting this camp together.

Tired?

I think she's a schizo.

The brochure doesn't say she's a schizo.

Why would she lie to us?

Because if we knew about the killings,

we wouldn't have come.

I would have!

I can't find anything about the killings.

I just hope they didn't lie

about the cafeteria's world renowned French chef.

14, 13, six.

Ah, here it is, gentlemen,

the number you wanted, number five.

William Gilbert, doa this morning.

Prison guard killed in last night's breakout.

Poor devil.

It's jarrett's work all right.

Must have been hard to embalm.

Did you use formaldehyde?

No, furniture Polish.

This jarrett's a psycho, a sickie.

We traced his tracks directly to the college campus.

It could be him, sir.

The warden said jarrett would kill anybody,

even cheerleaders.

Johnson,

I've been trying to track down

the cheerleader killer now for 20 years.

20 years, Johnson.

And as you know,

I always get my man.

Eyes up front!

Time for mascot class

and here's our own Andy and Randy.

What a realistic costume.

Even smells like an actual horse.

Very good, boys?

Excuse me, ma'am.

I am sergeant Reginald Cooper

of the royal Canada minadeys.

Oh, sergeant, I'm sorry, I didn't see you.

I'm Bambi.

How nice to meet you, ma'am.

How is thumper doing?

This is my partner Bob.

Nice to meet you, Bob.

We thought we'd stop out here and check you out

and make sure you're all safe.

Hey, Bob?

Aw, we're all fine, sergeant.

These are my cheerleaders.

Randy, Andy, Mandy, candy, Sandy, and Glenn.

Candy.

Be right back, Bob.

What goes on?

J when I'm calling you

J I will answer too

J then I will know

j our love will come true

J you belong to me

j I belong to you

You were marvelous.

Thanks.

Cute.

Yay!

And now, the girls!

Candy.

Yay!

Sandy!

Yay!

And Mandy!

Ow, that hurts.

Oh.

Okay, kids.

Let's let Mandy rest a bit.

Now dear, if you need me for anything,

don't hesitate to call.

Okay.

Does that mean practice is over?

Well, you have worked hard today.

Sure, go ahead, people.

Enjoy yourselves.

Yay!

Now remember, curfew is at 10:00.

Lights out at 10:30.

Lights back on at 11:00.

Go to the bathroom.

And lights back out at 11:30.

Yay!

Byel

How's the ankle?

Okay, I guess.

I'm really sorry about what happened, Mandy.

I'm such a,

such a jerk.

No, you're not a jerk.

I'm gonna make it up to you, Mandy.

I promise.

I'm gonna practice all night long just for you,

cheering for the thousands

of injured cheerleaders everywhere,

thousands of pretty blond cheerleaders

with short skirts, and tight sweaters,

shaking their pom poms with their shapely legs

and doing the splits and...

I have to go now.

Have a nice day.

He's right.

He is a jerk.

I'm having so much fun.

You're really enjoying the camp, huh?

No, I've never been in a car with three people before.

Not now.

You have a headache.

Hey, let's get something to eat.

- Yeah! - Yeah.

But where?

There!

Hey, let's eat.

I'll have this, I'll have this.

Could I have the three stooges pie, please?

Thank you.

My name's crystal.

And I'm China.

And we're you're waitresses.

Want to see a menu?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, what do you want?

Listen, here at the house of bad pies, we got everything.

What's bad today?

Well, the meatloaf looks pretty bad.

But I recommend the roast chicken.

It's horrible.

Do you have anything that's real bad?

There's Tuesday's special.

What's so bad about that?

Today's Thursday.

What's today's special?

All you can eat for a dollar.

I'll have that.

Okay, that's all you can eat for a dollar.

What comes with the roast beef?

Homemade mashed potatoes with gravy.

A hot roll.

Two garden fresh vegetables steamed to perfection.

And an oven fresh pastry.

Mm, that sounds delicious.

I'll have that.

One piece of shit.

And now, Glenn dandy,

champion cheerleader of the world,

will attempt a death defying flip for the woman he loves,

the cream in his coffee,

the love of his loins who doesn't even know he exists!

Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy north!

Mandy!

Mandy.

Mandy!

Welcome to air Tokyo, flight 45.

We hope that you enjoy your flight.

Right now, stewardess Godzilla

is serving your favorite beverages.

Wake up!

For only one dollar.

Stewardess, my coffee is cold!

Hey!

Pull over!

Hey!

Oh no!

Pull over!

Oh no!

J dum, dum, de, dum, dum, dum

one beautiful day,

Mr. shiny tooth was walking down the Lane

when all of a sudden, he met Mr. tooth decay.

Hello, Mr. shiny tooth.

Hi, Mr. tooth decay.

What are you doing today?

Trying to avoid you.

Well, it's not going to work.

Aw, poor Mr. decay.

Beaten again by Mr. shiny tooth.

Get over here, you rotten thing.

Mr. decay, you're not being very nice

and to punish you,

I'm going to brush all my teeth extra hard

and I'm gonna make you watch.

Where are you, Mr. decay?

Now, I know you're in here, Mr. decay.

I gotcha.

Too bad, I'll have to brush without you.

Mm!

I hope you're watching, Mr. decay,

'cause I'm going to brush extra hard.

Mm!

Get more of this.

Ooh.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Close the door, Bob!

What, were you brought up in a barn?

Bob, thanks for bringing the cleaning by.

Hang it up over there, would you please?

Why are you always picking on Bob?

You treat Bob like he's smarter than me.

Now, that's nonsense, Johnson!

You're very bright, you're very bright.

That's why we've been together so long.

Hey, how many years has it been now?

Let's get back to work, okay?

Bob,

let's get to the filing, typing.

Oh, check those mugshots, eh?

Put them to the computer.

So sarge, when do you think the killer will strike next?

It's hard to say, Johnson,

it's hard to say.

Not really, try it.

When do you think the killer will strike next?

Tonight!

I know it.

I know it's gonna be tonight.

Johnson, go fix some coffee.

Sergeant Reginald Coop

with the royal canaded mounted madets.

Cooper, this is warden June.

I called to tell you

that jarrett has been seen near lover's Lane.

Just the break we've been waiting for.

Warden June, meet me out at lover's Lane in 20 minutes.

Cooper, I am a married woman!

Sorry, I forgot.

Ta ta.

Johnson? - Sergeant.

Let's go to lover's Lane.

No way.

I heard you invite warden June already.

All right, all right, we'll go look for the killer.

Here's your coffee, Bob.

Okay, warden, into the gas chamber.

- Oh no! - Yeah.

- Oh no, not for me. - Step right in.

Good luck!

- You don't need to... - Here we go, warden.

- Bye, warden! - Good luck!

I want to live!

This is my first party.

Anybody seen Glenn or Mandy?

- Nuh-uh. - Nuh-uh.

Nope.

Where do you think they are?

Didn't you see the way

they were looking at each other during practice?

They're off somewhere.

They're doing hand shadows?

No.

Hey Sandy, want some candy?

Some candy'd be dandy.

Hey candy, want some candy?

No candy for me, Randy.

Oh come on, candy.

Have some candy.

I said no candy, Andy.

Okay, candy.

I'll have some candy, Randy.

Okay, Andy.

I'll give you candy's candy.

Can I also have Mandy's candy?

No, Randy,

don't give Andy Mandy's candy,

give him the candy that's handy.

All right, Sandy.

So Andy, what's your favorite candy?

Mints.

- Okay, clear the table. - Mm-hmm.

Five card stud, nothing wild.

What's the rules?

Well, candy,

for every game you lose,

you have to give up one article of clothing.

It's called strip poker.

Wow.

Okay, ante up.

Shoes first.

Bob, wait in the car.

Don't play the radio either.

You can play it if you want, Bob.

It's Dr. Fuller.

Dr. Fuller?

Is jarrett in there?

Jarrett?

I'm looking for my patient Fletcher.

Who's jarrett?

Jarrett is an escaped convict

who killed his entire family with a hand drill

and then turned them into bookshelves.

Yes, yes, very talented.

I have one of his victims in my den.

Despicable.

What's that?!

Oh my god.

Hey sarge, this is Trixie,

the waitress at the kit Kat club.

You're right, Johnson.

I recognize those legs anywhere.

She was a fine woman.

Johnson!

What were you doing?

What were you...

I was trying to get in her drawers!

That's disgusting.

What was it like?

Nevermind.

Jarrett's here,

that psycho, freako, sickie.

Jarrett's here somewhere.

Dr. Fuller.

Dr. Fuller?

Dr. Fuller?

Dr. Fuller?

- Dr. Fuller? - Dr. Fuller?

Okay, Fletcher, it's curtains for you.

I don't want to be curtains!

Shut up, you mug!

I'm turning you into a loveseat!

I don't want people sitting on my face!

L...

Well, maybe a loveseat would be nice.

Hold it, jarrett!

Drop that, you're under arrest!

You ain't taking me back to the big house.

I'm gonna do you in right now!

Don't just do him in.

Turn him into an ez chair and an ottoman.

What are you doing here?

We're partners.

We're in this together.

Shame, Dr. Fuller.

I'm taking you in

for the killing of innocent cheerleaders.

I always get my man.

We don't kill no cheerleaders.

You're gonna get life.

Shut up.

Do you know what it's like

trying to scrape out a meager living

from just running an asylum?

Furniture, that's where the major dough is.

Every doctor's office has furniture,

but not every doctor has patients.

Now with my way,

every doctor will have furniture and patients in one!

Dead?

No, Johnson.

Just well done.

Ow!

My cookies, my cookies, my cookies!

Cookies!

Cookies!

I'll raise you this.

I'll raise you this

And this.

I fold.

Two rich for my blood.

What do you have?

I have a full house.

Looks like I'm the big winner.

Sort of.

It's getting late.

Think I'll turn in.

- Night. - Good night.

Good night.

Ow, hun!

Guess I'm tired too.

- Good bye! - Bye.

- Thanks for comin'! - Bye, bye.

Let's go to my room.

No.

Bambi'll catch us.

Where are we gonna do it, hun?

The basement.

We can't go the basement.

We can get into a lot of trouble.

We do it in the basement orwe don't do it at all.

Where are the stairs?

You are frightened of the night?

Bologna.

You are frightened of bologna?

Who is that broad?

Maybe we should slip into something

a little more comfortable.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Hey, how do you do that?

I don't know.

It all started when I went on the pill.

Wait a minute.

What was that?

It's nothing, come on.

What?

What's the matter, hun?

These aren't designer sheets.

It'll be okay, really.

Trust me.

Look, there's a picture of neiman Marcus.

Oh, oh, that's better.

Oh, that's better.

A whole store of designer sheets and pillow cases.

Ooh, and flat sheets, and contour sheets.

Yes, bedspreads.

I heard it again.

Forget about it.

It could be Bambi, hun.

- I don't believe you. - What?

I dragged you all the way down here,

I finally decided to let you seduce me,

I allow you to have my body,

and you want to go off chasing after noises.

I'm just looking after you, hun.

I'll be right back.

- You promise? - Yeah.

- Okay. - I'll miss you.

Do you want me to come with you?

Sure, if we time it right.

Andy?

Bambi?

Randy?

I think you should go before Bambi catches us.

Okay, see you tomorrow,

but I'll see you tonight in my dreams.

The smell of Jasmine in your hair,

your long silken lips,

your Ruby red eyes, your...

I finally had sex!

And I liked it

sort of.

Only, I feel like there was something missing.

J when I'm calling you

Like Reginald Cooper.

Randy, I'm glad you're up.

Randy, I'm in love.

It was great.

Randy, we did it.

She even touched it!

Randy?

Oh, Randy, come on,

now take off the horse's head.

And then the big bad wolf said,

"I want to eat you little girl,

"and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll..."

Sandy, where you been?

It's past curfew.

Hello?!

Hello!

Whoa, no heartbeat.

I better call sergeant Reginald Cooper.

It's dead!

Help, anybody!

Mandy, are you there?

Bambi, where's Bambi?!

Bambi?

Oh no, what a mess!

I hate chocolate chip cookies.

Johnson, could you give Bob some potatoes please?

Thank you, Johnson.

You know, Johnson,

even though jarrett, Fletcher,

and Dr. Fuller are out of the way,

I still have no idea but who the cheerleader killer is.

Yeah, they're out of the way all right.

There's still a maniac killer out there somewhere.

He could be at the college campus right now

and we're just sitting here eating.

Johnson, you're right.

Those kids could be in trouble.

I think Bob and I are gonna go down to the campus,

check 'em out.

Heel, Bob.

Swell, just eat and run!

What am I supposed to do

with all this leftover stew and potatoes?!

I'm gonna have to freeze it!

You like leftovers but his highness,

no, he can't eat leftovers!

Johnson!

Would you get off Bob's back?!

Help!

Who are you?

What do you want?

You've got to be joking.

Don't you read the sport pages,

listen to the radio?

I'm blue grange, the all-American fullback!

Nobody ever knew the real blue grange.

Nobody knows that deep down inside this football machine

lives a cheerleader.

Yeah, a cheerleader yellin' to get out!

If I can't be a cheerleader,

nobody can be a cheerleader.

Blue, is that my good knife?

You're gonna hurt yourself like you do playing football.

Why couldn't you be a nice cheerleader?

Beat it, you old hag.

You're no good for blue.

Don't you call me an old hag, you old goat.

Goat, eh?

Why, you...

Blue, she's getting away!

Ladies and gentlemen,

galloping blue grange has got the ball!

Go, blue, go!

Go, blue, go!

Go, blue, go!

Blue, blue, all the way!

Blue, blue, all the way!

Blue will go for a touchdown!

And the opposing team is right behind him!

Ladies and gentlemen, look at this show!

His cleats are tearing up the

flyin' down the field!

He's on the 50!

He's on the 40!

He's on the 30!

He's on the 20!

He's on the 10!

Oops.

Candy, candy, my darling!

I'll save you!

Candy, I love you!

I love you, candy!

J when I'm calling you

J I will answer too

Andy!

Candy!

I'm gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs

and I'm gonna finally get to use my diaphragm!

Sandy!

Nancy may do it for jelly beans, but I don't.

Mandy!

I hope you're watching, Mr. decay.

Randy.

Here's a picture of neiman Marcus.

Oh.

Glenn!

Glenn dandy!

Pull over!

Hurry!

Pull over!