Original subtitles

Tom is so hot!

I'm so attracted to you,

it's not funny.

[hisses] Stay away.

Mark my fuckin' territory. That's my man.

Lily and I just need to pump the brakes on the sleeping together.

[Charlotte] You can't just have sex as much as they have been

and not catch feelings.

I don't know if I would call it love or lust with Con.

He just makes me feel seen.

# Happy people dance with me #

I've got the rig out and I'm ready to launch.

I'm a little bit of a sly fox.

I'm the queen 'cause I'm the hottest in Cairns.

# Happy people dance with me #

Step on my toes, I'll stomp on yours.

My dream job is no job.

I'm a little bit of a shit-stirrer.

Turn up that music

and watch me dance.

I do use my tits to an advantage.

I came out my mum's vagina having a party.

Everyone needs a Kyle in their life.

# Happy people dance with me #

[All] Aussie Shore! [cheer]

[snoring]

[Con] At the middle of the night,

all I can think about is hooking up with Catia.

[Catia] Hello.

[both laugh]

[Catia] What is happening?

Things are getting very heated with Con very quickly.

Con's a great kisser.

So, a good pash with Con? No problemos.

But when it comes to having sex with Con...

..I don't know.

I don't wanna give him the satisfaction.

But then, when I'm with Con...

[Catia laughs]

..oh, my God - yeah, fuck it.

Oh. [chuckles]

[Both laugh]

[Con] Alright?

I know sex between me and Catia

will 100% lead to emotions.

I don't know if it's her pulling back, if it's me pulling back,

but either way, we're both playing with fire right now.

# Yeah, yeah #

# Don't have to pull my line #

# Might as well save your cred #

# Message me multiple times #

# You'll get left on read... #

[Nardos] The vibe is fucking weird as fuck.

There is some weird tension going on.

I said to Lily last night, let's stop sleeping together.

Let's just stay as friends that we are

but just move... take away the benefits.

[laughs] What?!

Friends with benefits can stop the benefits like that.

That's the whole point of it.

[Kyle] It looks like the mum and dad of the house have broken up.

She's alright.

[Lily] Like, for me, like, I can't be fucked anymore.

It's just fucking stupid.

Awkward, girls.

We can hear everything.

[Lily] Like, I'm so fucking close

to getting the fuck out of here,

because it's honestly ridiculous.

Tom has just assured us that Lily's fine,

but, uh, is he hearing what I'm hearing right now?

Or, like... Ugh. I'm fuckin' done with this shit.

Like...

Can't be fucked anymore.

I think Lily just needed

to get something off her chest,

and she did.

Is there something else that's hurting you?

There's no... There's nothing else!

Well, then, why are you crying, babes?

Because everything's a lot! This is so much! Honestly...

So there must be something going on.

[Catia] Seeing Lily get so emotional

makes me think that either she has feelings for Tom

or Tom has just breached her loyalty.

I don't know. I really can't work this out with Lily.

It's none of you.

It's not you. It's not you. It's not you. It's not you.

It's just... this house is fucked up.

OK? I don't wanna talk about this shit.

-OK? -Yeah. Cool.

Alright? That's all I'm gonna say.

I'm just trying to explore all these reasons

as to why Lily is feeling this way,

and also thinking of ways that I can help her through this.

[Kyle] Mmm!

The lovers' tiff is literally unfolding

in front of my eyes right now.

[Manaaki] I'd literally only had sex

with one person at that point.

-[Kyle] Oh. -Yeah.

Maybe...

But they...they were like...

-[Kyle] Yeah. -[Manaaki] It is.

I think Lily has caught feelings for Tom.

She wouldn't be acting like this

if she didn't, hands down.

Good chat.

You know, you've got this hard exterior, Lil,

I love you, but you've clearly got feelings.

Otherwise, you truly, truly, truly wouldn't care!

[sniffs]

[Lily] I feel vulnerable.

And....

..that's a big thing for me to say.

Like, I don't...

Yeah, I don't know, I just feel like...

My brain is everywhere. I just have nothing...

I don't even know what to say. [sniffs]

[sniffs]

I choose to be closed-off...

..because I've been in toxic relationships.

Like, I don't wanna be hurt like that again.

I don't need a boyfriend. I don't want a boyfriend.

But, like...

..you know, sometimes, I do think about it.

I'm like, fuck, like...

..it would be nice just to hang out with someone.

It would be nice to just...

..have someone around.

[Cooper] You good, Lil?

Lily.

You right?

No.

Lily! Hey.

Out of everyone here, I'm probably the closest with Lily.

How are you and Tom?

Miss Princess can have him.

-She does. -Mummy lost her territory.

I think Lily and I are so close and so similar.

Like, Lily is the male version of me, and I'm the f...

Mm. I'm... Hm.

Mummy's not happy.

Do you think youse will just go to...

Mummy and Daddy are getting divorced.

Oh... [laughs]

-Oh, fuck off, cunt. -Oh, just don't look.

I think Lily's been burnt before

and that's why I think she has this hard exterior

where she just doesn't care and she's a man-eater.

Lily, just...

Fuckin' do it behind my back, cunt. I dare you.

But I think she has been hypnotised by Tom,

and if Tom does something, it's gonna impact Lily.

They're not...they're probably just talking about their thing.

Yeah, the last thing I want is drama.

[Lexie] I'm feeling pretty good this morning,

'cause last night, I told Tom

that he needed to show me a little bit more

if he wanted to keep getting to know me.

I didn't really expect him to call it quits with Lily,

but, I mean, I'm kind of excited,

'cause now we've got the green light

to, like, finally get to know each other more,

without Lily always being around.

[Lily] Um...

For me, right now, if I can be completely honest...

..like, my feelings ARE hurt.

[sniffs]

We sleep together,

we have sex, we shower together,

we eat together, we talk together.

-We're camping, like... -I know.

This is all things that are building up, like...

-Yeah. -Look, I'll admit it.

Maybe I have caught feelings, without even knowing.

Mm.

And that is killing me, that I'm saying that out loud.

But...

..as of right now, like, my heart is hurting.

And I know what I need to do,

and I know I need to open up and just...

..let Tom know how I feel.

But, like...

..that's a big thing for me to say.

And this is why I don't open up.

Because as soon as I open up to someone,

I just get shut down and it's ripped away from me, like...

He's a dickfuck. He's a dickfuck.

[Catia] It breaks my heart to see Lily this upset.

I love her to my core.

She's an icon.

She's the woman. She's the woman, to me.

[Lily cries]

Lily's my best friend in here

so, obviously, I want the best for her.

-[laughs] -[farts]

There is nothing Australians like more

than a good old game of AFL,

so have I got a job that they are going to love!

Today, going to work is Manaaki and Lily,

and then we have Kyle and Nardos.

Me going to work today,

I'm trying to look at it as a good thing.

Maybe I need to get out of the house.

I feel like the worst thing for me right now

is to sit at home and dwell.

Clean the house, Dad.

Scrub them toilets, you... Shut up.

I don't follow AFL.

I don't care about AFL.

And, at the end of the day, it's work.

Today's job is not for the faint-hearted.

[Kyle] See the dude with the white cap?

I need them to get their hands dirty

by helping out a local footy club

with some less-than-glamorous chores.

-Hi, Aaron. How are you? -Charlotte. How you goin'?

How are you? Hello. How are youse both? How are youse?

I'm well. I'm really well, thanks, Charlotte.

Good, good, good. Well, I've arrived.

I'm ready to know what my guys are gonna be doing here today.

Can you just take us through it?

So, well, today, they're obviously

painting a mural on the wall.

We've got AFL boots -

so, they're gonna be making sure they clean those,

-spick-and-span. -[Charlotte] Right.

[flies buzz]

-[Charlotte] Oh, that stinks! -[Aaron] Yeah.

Oh, my God, it stinks so bad!

Smells like that, uh, shrimp paste.

Athletes...

..for...

..long time.

[buzzer sounds]

[chuckles]

-[whistle wavers] -Oh! My whistle's broke.

Athletes for...

..length.

[buzzer sounds]

What does it stand for?

Oh, really? Fuck. That was so easy.

Duh!

God!

Now, what we'll be doing...

We're painting our logo on the wall.

So, Charlotte introduced us to our boss for the day,

and it's a scary old guy called Pauly.

He looks like one of those people with a nice little smile,

but looks like he's gonna bash ya.

You haven't got all bloody day.

It needs to be done, we need to get out of here

and it needs to be done properly.

I'll use these glasses.

-Ooh, I can't ruin my hair. -[Kyle chuckles]

Manaaki's a little bit precious.

Fuck, I actually look good in white.

Ugh!

Of course, I, and Nardos,

have to clean...

Just do it.

..dirty football boots.

-Oh! -[flies buzz]

You have to be joking.

-OK, let's just fuckin' do it. -[sniffs]

It fuckin' stinks.

They smell so disgusting!

There's no clean water.

So these shoes...

Oh... Oh, it's on my face.

It was disgusting.

I'm not joking.

Like, it was fucked.

It actually was fucked up.

-Oh, sorry. -Is it on my face?

Yeah.

While everyone's out,

should we maybe go for a walk?

Yes.

-Yeah, let's see if we can... -Yes.

Let's go down... go for a walk along the beach.

Yeah, 'cause that would be so nice.

Mm.

[Lexie] That's gorge.

-This is perfect. -Mm-hm.

I'm here for the experience. I'm here to have fun.

I want to get to know everyone.

What if a croc comes out?

I'll push you out of the way and let it eat me.

-Oh, shut... -[laughs]

-OK. -[laughs]

I want some real elbow grease in that shoe.

-Oh! Oh! -I know. Look at me!

It's all gone all over my bloody dress!

Jesus Christ!

I would not be caught dead doing any of these jobs. No.

-Smell that. -Nuh.

Smell it.

Oh!

[Lily] I have a bad feeling right now.

My intuition's telling me something,

and I reckon today is gonna be not...

I don't know.

Something's going on. It's suss.

[Tom chuckles]

[Lexie] Tom's a really good kisser.

He knows the right way to do it.

He's not sticking his tongue down my throat, making me choke.

He's literally just like inserting it the right amount.

Soft, gentle, slow.

Like, it's just like a good recipe, babe.

-We should probably get back. -Mmm...maybe not.

So, is that...? This is the worst fucking job, for sure.

I know.

-Hi. -[Lily] Hello.

How are youse, good?

-They look, actually, better. -[Nardos] Yeah.

[Paul] OK.

Thank you.

[Lily] That was fuckin' gross as fuck.

-[Nardos laughs] -That's disgusting.

[Manaaki] It's just a little bit crooked,

but I'm not straight, so neither is this mural.

[Kyle laughs]

In my eyes, this mural was a success.

We were just doing the final touches.

We wanted to do a representative

of what we think the Lions club actually is,

and that's a diverse and inclusive club.

[Manaaki] Mm, inclusive.

So we wanted to show the penises of...

..representing the males of the club

and this beautiful female to show the females of the club.

We're known as "one club one family" -

not a nudist camp.

I think you're both full of shit.

[both laugh]

I've got some grey paint. I'll get you to paint that out.

-OK. -Alright.

Um, I better get the grey paint.

-Grab the grey paint. -Alright. Grab the grey paint.

Today's date with Lexie has been so bloody perfect.

Ah, fuck it - let's go upstairs.

Let's go to the Shag Pad.

I'm not here to fuck around.

It stunk. I just did the smelliest poo.

Hey, guys!

-[Tom chuckles] -[Lexie] Stop.

Yeah. That's fucked.

You are kidding!

[Kyle] Oh.

Of course they have to come home from work now.

[Kyle] So, what did you guys do today?

[Catia] Mm. Anything fun?

Yeah. Anything fun happen?

We got to walk on the beach.

Oh, really? The beach? Oh, that would have been nice.

And we chatted for ages.

Yeah.

[Kyle] If I was in Tom's position

and Lily had just caught me on a date with another girl...

..I would be on a plane so fast

you didn't even see me go.

[Tom] Yeah, we just went for a walk on the beach.

[Lexie] It was chill.

Tom and Lexie haven't even waited five minutes.

Lily hasn't even left the door,

got in the car, gotten to the AFL,

and they're already getting on it.

I'm not happy with this.

Like, at least have some respect for Lily, and wait.

Let the situation breathe a little bit.

No, he is pouncing like a tiger.

Tiger Tom. Tom the tiger.

That is who he is.

Yeah, mad.

Fuckin' sick. Went on a beach walk? Fuck.

Like, what...like, what do you want everyone to do?

Fuckin' standing ovation?

Like, "Thank you"? Like...

No.

The sounds coming from, like...

What were the sounds?

You, like, moaned and...

[screams] No! No!

No! Did I actually?!

[Nardos] Catia was giggling the whole night

like a little schoolgirl.

And I could just hear them kissing and fondling.

They... When you were sleeping, yeah, he came in

and they were kissing and fondling.

Were we fondling?

So, you know what?

I think this is developing very quickly into something.

What type of moaning?

No!

-[screams] -[laughs]

It was like this.

-No... -It was like...

[whimpers softly]

-[screams] -[laughs]

Con said that he wouldn't fuck her

because she catches feelings.

But you know what?

I know Con, and I know they have chemistry,

and so I think, inevitably, they will fuck.

I... [laughs]

[Nardos] Ohh!

I heard my name and I heard 'moaning'.

[Nardos laughs]

Tonight?

[Catia] Do you love me?

I said I love you like I love my fuckin' sister,

I love my fuckin' friends.

I'm not in love with you.

No. I reckon you were falling in love last night.

Listen, I tell the boys before I go to bed, "Love you."

You were falling in love...

..with this.

[blows raspberry]

I told Catia the other night, "Love you."

I say it to everyone.

When I say, "I love you," it's a big difference.

Hey, listen, let me tell you right now,

I was not falling in love.

Not defensive. Just definitely not in love.

Sexy girl!

Everything she does...

Everything she does right now, I'm like, "Shut the fuck up."

I know.

Fuckin' go back to the playground

and go play with little girls.

I'm done with Tom. I'm done with it. I'm done with Lexie.

I'm fucking done with the both of them.

I cannot stand either of them.

You're in that zone.

Oh, I literally can't even stand being in the same room.

I'm pissed!

The love triangle right now is frosty and awkward.

Girls.

[Catia] Hello, hello.

-Hello. -Hello.

Lily, Tom and Lexie...

The tension is like, shoo-shoo-shoom!

Family dinner at the Pier Bar.

Everyone's just wanting a mad-wholesome night.

No more drama.

Let's move on.

On the way to Pier Bar, Catia's being like,

"You need to talk to Lily."

[Lexie] Why the fuck do I need to talk to Lily?

I've literally got the green fucking light.

[Manaaki] I think Tom's definitely

playing with fire at the moment,

flirting right in front of Lily.

And I don't think this is gonna go down too well.

[Lexie] Something's going on with Lily.

She seems to be getting really, really upset by the situation.

[Lexie] Tom's told me that, like,

he just wants to be friends with her,

he doesn't wanna, like,

keep doing the whole friends-with-benefits thing.

If I was sleeping with Con for five nights in a row

and then I find out that Con was kissing Lexie,

I would go off, babe.

[Jaeda] I think, in this moment, Lexie's doing the wrong thing

and she's just rubbing her face in it.

# Hey!

# Hey! #

[Jaeda] We're vibing on the dance floor.

We're finally having a good time.

Catia! Get here!

Come here. Welcome.

I want one. I'm gonna have a good night. I don't give a fuck.

[Jaeda] DJ was looking cute,

so I just hopped on in there, in the booth, you know?

You know, I don't know, there's just something with me and DJs.

I just like that...you know,

they can do so many wonderful things with their fingers.

Oh, yeah!

This is what family dinner is supposed to be.

But, what do you know!

That boy is like a dog on heat - ruff, ruff!

[Tom] We're sleeping up there.

OK.

[Jaeda] He called off sleeping with Lily

like, what, 12 hours ago?

Good luck, Lexie.

I hope you know what you're getting into, girl.

# I'm sexy and you know it #

# I'll make you pop, pop #

# Breathe in, breathe out, don't blow it #

# Gonna make you pop, pop #

# It's simple as can be #

# One dance for you and me #

# I'll spin you round, round...#

Bad girl!

[Lexie] I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, how'd you get so drunk, Lexie?

Tom, you are a nasty, naughty little boy.

I know you wanna get your willy wet with Lexie.

-I'm fine. -What, babe?

[Jaeda speaks indistinctly]

-Were you kissing? -[Lexie and Kyle] No.

[Kyle] That was just Tom and I.

[Lexie] We were just... Yeah. I was watching.

There's only one thing and one thing only

that I plan to do tonight.

[Catia] Yo!

Easy, girl.

And that's head upstairs to the Shag Pad with Lexie.

I wanna fuck him!

Oh, I'm fuckin' ready, cunt!

Lexie is being very annoying tonight.

I think she had a few too many vodka lime sodas.

I didn't wear undies tonight. Hello!

Look.

Hello!

[Manaaki] Hey! What are you doing?

But Lily...

That's my pillow!

..is trying to mark her territory.

Lily! You're gonna give him pinkeye!

I'm so drunk that I'm embarrassed.

Don't be embarrassed, cunt.

[Lily] As soon as we walk in the door...

Ho...ly...fuck!

[Lexie] Let me queef right now.

[queefs]

-[Lexie] Ahh! -[Lily] Oh!

[Lexie] It's almost a relaxant at this age.

[Lily] I don't know if Lexie's got loose holes or whatever

but, fuck me, them queefing noises

are coming out left, right and centre.

-[Kyle] Yeah? -[Lexie queefs]

[laughs]

To me. To Tom. To Cooper.

-[Lexie] Pull the finger! -[Cooper] Uh...

-I've got the ick. -[queefs]

She's shooting 'em out like she's fuckin' Oprah.

-[queefs] -[Kyle laughs] Oh!

You get a queef! You get a queef!

[queefs deeply]

-[Kyle] Oh... -[Lexie] Ohh!

Feels fuckin' incredible.

[feigns retching]

Wait. I've got... Nah, I've got it. I've got it now.

[Jaeda laughs] She's got the runs!

[Lexie] Tom, don't look at me like that.

-[queefs] -[laughter]

What?

What is going on?

[queefs]

-[queefs] -[both laugh]

[queefs]

What the fuck is happening?

Why?!

[Lily] Oi, guys, guys. Ready?

[Lexie] Shush!

[queefs]

You know what? I was worried tonight.

But as soon as I come home

and I see someone queefing like a fuckin' elephant's trunk...

..I've got nothing to worry about.

Oi!

If your dicks could suck in this oxygen

and pooferate it out...

Who talks like that?

I'm looking at Tom, and he's...he's mortified.

He's thinking, "What the fuck have I gotten myself into?"

[burps]

'Cause at the end of the day, guess who's looking better.

Mummy, Mummy, Mummy.

[queefs]

[Kyle] I think that's why I'm gay.

If you queef 24-fuckin'-7, on command,

you got weak pussy lips!

Guess what? I'm tight as a fuckin' whistle.

[sucks, blows]

That's her pussy, not a fart.

When you queef, you're like... [blows loosely]

When I...when I queef, I'm like... [blows tightly]

-[Con] All the girls, get out. -[Lexie] Youse are boring.

This is one of the most fucked-up things

I've ever been a part of.

Boys act like farting

is some fucking unknown phenomenon.

[queefs]

We are not going to the Shag Pad tonight.

# Suckin' it up, suckin' it up #

# Suck it. #

[snores]

And, go right up.

[Cooper] How was fuckin' Lexie last night?

-[Con] Oh, bro. -That was ridiculous.

Queefing. "Pull my finger." [blows raspberry]

Yeah, that was ridiculous.

[Cooper] Last night, Tom is thinking

he's going straight to the Shag Pad with Lex -

um, until she starts queefing.

And the last thing you wanna do

after you hear someone's queefing

is go into that area.

So, yeah, I think it's only a matter of time

before he bounces Lex and gets back in bed with Lily.

[Con] Last night, you were so annoying.

-[Lexie] Me? -Yes.

-How? -What do you mean, how?

Oh...

Last night might be my drunkest night in the house.

Definitely. By far.

'Cause you were fuckin' running around -

"Oh, pull my finger, I wanna queef!"

Fuck off! Queef in your own room!

It was doing our heads in.

You can't handle queefing, can you, babe?

[Lexie] Everyone's shocked, but what can I say?

I am very much a bogan, and I'm a little bit unexpected.

Oh, deary me. I can't wait to jump out a fuckin' plane today.

It's much needed.

[Con] Skydiving?

Who in their right mind thinks,

"Let's wake up and go skydiving"?

Youse have to be...

I don't even want to talk about it.

I can't wait to see you go.

Oh, I'm actually not gonna be OK.

-I'm not gonna be OK. -[both laugh]

[coughs]

Last night was a lot.

And then, you know what? I feel a release.

It's giving me intense flashbacks.

Was I frustrating last night?

Do you want me to answer honestly?

-Yeah. -Yeah, you were.

Oh.

[Lexie] Shit.

I think Tom might be a little bit put off

my behaviour from last night.

I really hope that I haven't given him the ick.

I definitely have got the ick from Lexie.

I thought that we were gonna come home,

go straight off to the Shag Pad, and that'd be that.

[burps]

But we get home, you're rolling on the ground,

you're queefing, turning me off.

Let's enjoy the skydiving for what it is today.

Honestly, get me on that plane.

I am willing to do anything

but think about Lexie and that queefing last night.

[Lily] Honestly...

Oi, do you reckon... do you reckon it's possible

for your stomach to be in your arse?

'Cause that's what I'm feeling right now.

I reckon it's possible, on a day like today.

I'm nervous for skydiving.

I have a bad stomach at the best of times, worst of times,

Christmas, Easter, you name it - I've got a bad stomach.

I know my bowels.

So, I don't know how my stomach's gonna go

with this skydiving experience.

[farts]

Oh, gosh. That's gonna be deadly.

[Jaeda] Can you please let her open the window?

-Oh, no. Please. -Oh, my God.

Everyone, block your nose. Block your nose.

-[gags, coughs] -Open the window, please!

[Catia] This one is fucked. This one's fucked.

I've said before, Catia can clear a room, but goddamn!

[laughter]

Don't look this way!

[Catia] That's fucked.

[laughter]

[Kyle] Oh, Catia!

I know, I've told you,

I've warned you.

-I need a bag. -Holy shit! She needs a bag.

Farty Cati has just released an atomic bomb.

[coughs, retches]

Oh, yuck! I just saw!

What the fuck is happening, bro?

Why is that...

That chick's arse needs to be looked at,

because whatever's happening down there, it's not OK.

-[Lily] It's leaking. -It's leaking on my legs!

[coughs]

Who knew one fart could do this to people!

This fart was lethal.

Oh!

It's on my legs.

I am going to wish my instructor the best of luck.

I hope he's wearing waterproof gear

because I don't know what's going to be coming out of me.

Bro, what the fuck?

See, this is what happens when we go skydiving!

OK, guys. Good morning. Welcome to Skydive Australia Cairns.

-How are we all feeling? -[all] Good!

Two things in the world I said I would never do is skydiving

and bungee jumping.

I may look hard, but I am a little bitch.

But it's good to get everyone together,

have a bit of a family day.

I'm so scared, I can't even talk right now.

Yeah!

[laughter]

Let's get these off.

Oh, fucking hell.

This can't be good, like...

Here we go!

Shitting it!

I'm feeling good. I'm feeling, like, ready.

I feel like skydiving would

definitely get my mind off everything.

Oh, come on now!

Now I'm jumping out of a plane.

I mean, I continually surprise myself,

but we're doing it together,

and this truly is what family is about.

[screams]

Oh! [laughs]

Everyone's shitting themselves.

But what better way to start the day

than to jump out of a plane?

Whoo-hoo!

Let's go! Let's go!

I am fucking shit-scared of heights.

This is my worst nightmare.

But, between jumping out of a plane,

and being stuck with both Lexie...

Why am I doing this shit?

..and Lily today...

Oh, my God.

..fuck it, I'm jumping out of this plane!

Surely that has got to be easier.

Whoo! Whoo!

Let's go, crew!

Fuck it!

Falling through the sky feels amazing!

Oh!

[screams]

Pull the bag, pull the bag!

I'm like, I can't breathe!

I can't breathe!

I'm freaking out right now.

This is not fun.

But my instructor's hot,

so, honestly, I'm just hoping that I don't shit myself on him.

Could have been focusing on the views,

but I was focusing on picking up this guy behind me.

Have you ever had sex up here?

-I haven't. -You know what?

Last time I was paragliding in Switzerland...

-Oh, yeah? -..I fucked my pilot.

Did you? Not midair?

No, not midair.

When we landed.

So let's keep the trend going.

[laughs]

-She can join in. -[laughs]

# Tick, tick, boom! #

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah! You did it!

[screams]

# Tick, tick, boom! #

Motherfucker!

That was the best thing ever!

Oh, my God!

[Lily] I need a wee, I need a wee, I need a wee, I need a wee.

Holy fuck. I need a whizz.

It's actually about to come out.

It's happening.

Oh, my God! [laughs]

It's happening, it's happening, it's happening!

[Lily] Holy fuck!

Is this a yay or nay?

Last time at Woolshed, was a fucking good night.

So, you know what? Let's keep history going.

The best way to get over someone old

is to get under someone else who is new,

and I think that is what Lily's plan is tonight.

[Catia] Stop! You're so naughty!

-Alright, I'm taking two. -[Lily] Same.

[Catia] So am I.

Woolshed is the way to go.

Fresh meat, fresh environment, new drinks.

This is escalating!

I hope that there's a hottie to distract Lily right now.

Whether that be someone in the house, an outsider,

I don't care at this point.

Oh, my God! Con!

Whatever hottie there is to distract her,

honestly...

Pissing dog. Pissing dog.

# Oh, no, no, no #

# Oh, no, no, no #

# Oh, no, no, no. #

Where's Tom? Is he alright?

-All good? -He's all good.

I feel like I've barely spoken

or seen Tom since last night...

..and I think he might be avoiding me.

It's just extremely hurtful.

Like, it has gotten to me, to be honest.

Vulnerable!

[Cooper] I feel bad for Lexie.

I mean, I really like her in, like, a friend way,

so to see her upset,

it doesn't feel too good.

But at the same time, like, Tom's my boy, all power to him,

but he's just got himself in such a shit situation.

So, yeah, he's done a number on himself.

I don't know what I'm gonna do with Lily and Lexie.

I don't know. I'm gonna sleep on it.

Try and actually get a good night's sleep tonight.

It's been a long day.

I would love to have a middle ground,

where I could still be friends with Lily

and keep chatting to Lexie,

but I don't think there is a middle ground.

I'm in a standstill right now with Tom.

I feel like I've been pushed to the side.

It hurts, watching him and Lexie together.

I just had to be honest with myself, and say,

you might like him,

but it's not worth being second best.

So, it's just getting to a point

where I really just have to take the bullet

and tell Tom how I'm feeling.

I just wanted to...

..to clear the air.

Of course I want him to like me back or, you know, of course,

who doesn't want someone that you like to like you back?

The last thing I want to do is tell Tom I like him,

and then he turns around and goes, "No."

I'm gonna be straight up with you.

You and Lexie together,

I do feel hurt.

I just need to rip the Band-Aid off and tell him.

I can't hold it in anymore.

# You've got a secret... #

And to put my hand up and say,

just because it's friends with benefits

doesn't mean that, for me,

there wasn't a tiny bit of a connection.

# I could go with it #

# Maybe lead you on... #

If roles were reversed,

how would you feel if you thought,

"Oh, my God, there's some sort of..."

For me, there was some sort of connection there

'cause you don't just have sex up in the Shag Pad.

I can't stand there and beg for someone to like me back

or give me attention.

We've talked about things.

I don't do that with normal friends.

So maybe, maybe,

maybe you might do that with all your best friends,

but for me, that's not normal.

I'm not doing that, so, yeah,

I'll just tell him how I feel and he can take it.

He can take whatever he wants from this conversation, but...

..now my heart and my feelings are in someone else's hands.

I am hurting, Tom.

OK?

If you want to crack on with her,

do it when I'm not around,

because I still am a person and I still have feelings.

I understand where you're coming from,

and I guess I just didn't realise

that I wasn't being open enough.

I did... I honestly thought that I had been fully transparent

about this whole...

I still can be vulnerable.

I'm not just this fucking turtle that has a hard shell

and doesn't give a fuck. I still give a fuck.

I give a fuck about you.

I care about how you feel about me

and I definitely care how I feel about you.

That's it. That's what I came to tell you.

You can do it... do what you want with it.

But you just need to make up your mind

because I'm not going to fucking hang around.

# Is this heaven or is this hell? #

-Have a good night. -You too.

# Can't tell 'cause I'm under your #

# Under your spell. #

I've got myself in a big pickle.

[Catia] Let's go!

-Bye, Tom! -Yay!

Lily has been off me the last couple of days.

But, honestly, I didn't realise that she cared about me

more than just as a friend.

I didn't intend to get in a deep situation like this.

[all] Whoo!

I was really here to make friends, and have fun,

and do my thing,

and now I'm in a situation

where, if I were to continue things with Lexie...

..it'll ruin all of my relationship with Lily.

# Is this heaven or is this hell? #

Shall we go dance?

Just us two? 'Cause we haven't actually danced...

Us two!

-Let's go. -No, I'm being serious, but.

Yeah, so am I.

I didn't come into this wanting a relationship...

..so, honestly, I don't know what to do.

# It's my birthday #

# Bad bitch birthday behaviour! #

If you don't end up naked

in the hot tub tonight,

we've done our night wrong.

Smack it again!

We're back, baby!

What?

Someone's at the door!

Ring a ding ding! It's the king.

[woman screams]

What the fuck?

-And that's it. -You're a fucking joke.

Sook walks away, as per usual.

Oh! Them two are just...

I'm fucking done.

Awkward!

# Happy people dance with me #

# Happy people dance with me #

# Happy people dance with me. #