Original subtitles

That's better.

Why is that better?

Now he can't hurt anyone.

- Why do you think that he can't-- - I wanna go home.

I know you do. But we're here now.

There you go.

What are you feeling right now?

Can you draw it?

What are you feeling right now?

Can you draw it?

I'll be right back.

Hey, Dr. Adler.

- Hi. - Hello.

The nurse told me that Noah was with you.

- So I brought him some books to read. - Okay.

- How's he doing? - He's doing okay.

He's still having some side effects on the new medication,

but we were just doing some sand therapy and we've--

Just a second.

What's going on?

Nothing. He just-- I'll find him. Don't worry about it.

- What? Where is he? - I don't know.

But I'll find him, don't worry.

Excuse me. Did Noah come in here?

I'm sorry, it's my first day.

- Which one is Noah? - He's in this bed.

Right. Noah, yeah.

He is in therapy with his doctor.

I'm his doctor.

So, he's not with you?

I need you to alert the staff that I need help finding a patient.

- Now. - Yeah.

Noah?

Noah, I'm gonna open the doors real slow, okay?

Hey.

You disappeared on me.

All right. It's okay.

Let's go back to the playroom.

Come on. It's okay.

Let's go back.

Okay.

Right. All right.

Noah, do you have the pen?

But pens aren't allowed on this ward.

Yeah, all right.

All right. Give me the pen.

- I don't have it. - Noah.

- You're scared. - I'm not scared.

Liar.

I need the pen.

I don't wanna talk anymore.

So, you wanna tell me what this is all about?

Okay. Noah's been drawing a farmhouse.

Very similar to the photograph which I found in Lynn's office.

So I'm thinking, "Did he follow her home one night?

Did they know each other? Did they have this whole relationship?

And if they did, why would she hide it from me?

What else hasn't she told me?"

Okay.

But what does that have to do with his diagnosis?

Oy.

- Here, drink this. - Thanks.

I'm not sleeping well.

Insomnia.

That can really mess with your head.

He inhaled a glass of water in a supposed suicide attempt,

and now he's on a locked ward.

That's not possible.

Yeah, but yet his lungs were full.

I can't explain that.

Well, I checked all his past foster placements.

No farmhouse, no Dutch.

- Pre-abandonment, early infant events? - Cryptomnesia, maybe?

Preverbal memories of visiting a farm and hearing the Dutch somehow,

maybe through a TV show.

I really need info from his birth parents. But he was a Safe Haven baby.

All I know is he was abandoned at St. Matthew's.

What's with the swimming girl?

- You think she's swimming? - Yeah.

I don't know. I thought she was...

drowning.

Dr. Adler, I think you have a leak.

What's above here?

The hall bathroom.

They're coming.

No, get away from me! No!

Just a quick temperature check for you, sweetie.

Ta-da!

Look what I did.

I fixed it, huh?

What the--

Oh, for Christ's sakes.

Dad?

In here.

- Hi. - Hey, Dad.

What are you doing?

- Why is the floor wet? - Oh, dear.

Nothing strikes fear in the heart of buyers

more than the words "plumbing issues."

I fixed it.

So no worries.

Oh, goodness. Is there anything this man can't do?

Yes, he's quite the Renaissance man.

Are you gonna answer that?

Dad!

Isn't that your phone?

Yeah.

- I'll get it. - Okay.

Yeah, get, get, get, get.

Hello.

Am I gonna see you at my place tonight?

- I'm sorry, who is this? - It's Jackson.

Who the hell do you think it is?

Listen, it's gonna be a good crowd tonight.

I know you probably won't come

- but I got some jazz-- - You know what?

- I can't talk right now. - No, this jazz I'm talking about--

- All right, bye. - It's hot, baby.

Was nothing important.

Okay.

So, anyway, what do you have planned for the two of you?

Dad, tell me you didn't forget about spending time with Sophie

while we're planning the staging, did you?

Of course not. How could I forget something like that?

Today is Grandpa day.

Right, Sophie?

It's Grandpa and Sophie day.

Isn't she just sharp as a tack?

Can we go?

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

It's gonna be fun.

I don't get what's fun about this.

This place is creepy.

Yeah, it is.

It is a little creepy.

I just have to find someone.

Are you mad at Gran 'cause she's clogging the tub?

What?

Because she drowned in there.

No. Gran is not clogging any tubs.

She's gone.

No, she's not.

She's in my lizard.

Gran wants to tell me a secret.

Are you looking to confess?

Confess?

No.

I-- I'm here to see Father Dennis.

He's my patient.

I'm trying to get some more information about his family.

He was a Safe Haven baby, left here about eight years ago.

I remember. The only baby left at this church in 20 years.

- So you were here? - I was.

You said he's your patient. What's wrong with him?

I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Well, I can tell you that they weren't cut out to be parents.

You knew them?

No.

But why else would they abandon a child?

Sometimes it's difficult understanding God's plan.

So what's troubling you?

I'm sensing a heaviness in your heart.

- My gran died. - Sophie.

Okay.

- My wife died. - I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's okay. She's in my lizard.

Sophie, she's not in your lizard.

Now we have spoken about this before. When somebody dies, they're gone.

They're gone forever and they're never coming back.

Not even in a lizard.

You don't know that.

You know, we all have different ways of processing grief.

I see this in my congregation all the time.

You know, we have similar jobs.

Do we? We sure have different offices, don't we?

- Look at this place. - We both help people.

But I help people with science, medicine and--

And maybe just a little bit of faith.

Surely a doctor of the mind knows that belief is everything.

Do you know what I believe in? I believe in facts.

You believe in fairy tales created to keep people from facing the truth.

And you know what the truth is?

There is no magic being living in the sky looking out for us.

He's a vengeful motherfucker and you know it.

We're all on our own, pal.

Sophie, come on. Let's go.

Hey. It's dripping. Don't you want it?

- Barb? - Yeah.

Hey, how was Grandpa day?

I thought we had a really fun time.

Sorry. She's being super weird about that lizard.

Yeah, that's what I wanna talk to you about.

The whole "Gran's in the lizard" thing?

It's just a form of grief processing, right?

No. That's not what I wanna talk to you about.

Why would you tell her that your mom drowned?

- Wait, what? - Yeah, why? Why would you do that?

Why, all of a sudden, when before it was,

"Grandma's all around you, she's watching you," yada yada yada?

Dad, I didn't tell her about Mom drowning.

Oh, shit.

She probably overheard me talking about it on the phone.

- Talking about it? To who? - I don't know, a friend.

Why is everybody talking about it?

What is there to talk about? What are you doing?

- What are you doing? - I'm decluttering.

- Sue Ann said that we have to declutter. - No. Declutter.

This is your mom's personal and medical stuff.

Mom doesn't have personal stuff anymore, Dad.

Leave it alone!

What is wrong with you?

There's nothing wrong with me.

I'm just having a perfectly normal reaction

to having my personal space violated, okay?

You know, Dad,

what happened to Mom didn't just happen to you.

It happened to me too.

Barb.

Hey. Hey, Barb.

Sweetheart.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Okay?

It's okay. It's fine.

No, listen, I will do this.

I will declutter.

Just take Sophie home, all right?

I will finish this.

Are you sure?

Okay. Thank you.

Just call me if you need any help.

Come on, Soph.

Bye, Sophie. It was fun.

Hey, Soph.

Sophie, I have--

"Food shopping: milk, bananas. Check in with the pharm--"

"Send drawings to Jackson"?

"Don't tell Eli, he can't handle it, he won't listen."

What the--

Look at this. You actually came.

- I need to talk to you. - Did you run all the way over here?

You look kind of sweaty. Let's get you a drink.

I don't need a drink, I need to talk to you about Lynn.

Your eyeballs look a little weird.

Everything's looking a little weird to me lately. Now listen to me.

I know it's a little strange being here without Lynn.

It's not about that.

I was going through some of her stuff-- Listen to me, okay--

- I miss you, Eli. - Stop.

- Drink this. - I don't want--

Listen to the music and come here.

One of my grad students made this lobster gumbo.

Check it out.

- Look, I gotta talk to a few people. - I--

You stay here. I'll be right back.

I want it.

And I love your theory in that journal article about trauma and dissociation.

You really hate these things, don't you?

Well, I'm warning you now, we're not leaving till you dance with me.

I wanted to ask you about this new study...

Excuse me.

Hey, we really got to talk.

- Give me a second. - No, now.

Give it to me.

No.

Kids, time for bed.

Noah...

do you have something in your hand?

Noah?

What's in your hand?

Noah!

Noah...

I need to see what's in your hands.

Sweetie, give me what's in your hands...

right now.

I don't get what you're so upset about.

Lynn and I were friends.

We emailed all the time.

That's fine, but what is this "Eli won't understand" bullshit?

And what are these drawings that she was talking about?

She was working on a new book about three friends.

She sent me a drawing.

It was something she was trying to process.

- About what? - About death, Eli.

She was facing her own mortality, and the only thing you wanted to do

was get her into the next promising trial.

Yes, 'cause I was trying to help her.

I know, but she was trying to figure it out on her own.

There were things she thought you wouldn't understand,

because you'd try to explain them through science,

and she felt like they were beyond science.

This doesn't make any sense at all. It doesn't make any sense at all.

What things, hmm? What things?

And there's no such thing as beyond science.

- Noah. It's okay. - Everything all right?

He's gonna give it to me.

Aren't you, Noah?

Take it easy, buddy.

Noah. I'm sorry about this, sweetie, but I need to see--

Eli.

Someone help, she's choking.

Call 911.

She's going into anaphylactic shock.

Anyone have an EpiPen? EpiPen? Anyone?

Okay, it's okay. I got you.

Someone is on the way.

Let go.

Come on.

There we go. There you go.

Oh, shit. She's not breathing. Sh...

Is that alcohol? Come on, come on!

Okay, I'm gonna need a ballpoint pen.

Anyone have a ballpoint pen?

Do you have one?

A regular pen?

Anyone have a pen?

He needs a pen.

There you go.

Yeah.

Okay.

There you go.

There we are.

Well, as far as party tricks go,

that was a little bit over the top.

Just kidding.

Thank God you were here.

She's gonna be fine, right?

Yeah.

And about the emails.

I'm sorry.

- I should have told you. - Yeah, you should have.

Truth is, she was having trouble writing the ending of the book,

but it was coming to her in her dreams.

You know, I don't wanna hear anything about her dreams, okay?

'Cause I'm just starting to get the feeling that I didn't know her at all.

This is what she was working on.

And I think she would want you to have it.