Original subtitles

Out of the carhaut shot right now. What do

you think you're doing? What's going on?

Oh, we're just listening to music. Right,

right. I know where that leads. A little

spin doctor, some Zima, the next thing you

know, you got a crazy chick tracking you

down on a football field holding a stick

that she peed on. Baines, stop. I'm not

Kate and Jones. It isn't you. What are we

talking about? This. I found this on the

floor right where Romeo was standing.

Bas. That's not mine. No, no, no, no, no,

no, no. It's Mr. Basil. Now. Wait, can we

just drop this? Drop this? No, he. And

it's a good thing. Otherwise I would have

known that you were trying to sweet talk

me and devirginize my kid. There was no

devirginizing, okay? That speech that you

and Abby gave me. A little too late. It

was speech. Why? Why. Why are we talking

about my sister? You're not a virgin. I

had a boyfriend named Bug that I was going

to live with. Okay, why are we talking

about virgins and Abby and sex? This guy

right here, it's not his condom bugs

back. Okay,

that's bugs.

I'm gonna.

Okay, when. When was this? Today.

Right before that stupid sex talk with

Abby where she ruined everything. Will

somebody please tell me what the hell we

were talking about? B asked Abby for help

because he didn't want you to think that

he was in over his head. Last week, how

not to set your kid up on a blind date.

This week I had upon a sex talk off on

someone who knows even less to someone who

doesn't even need it. So don't worry,

Kate. In the parent of the year category,

B is batting a big fat 02.

All right, well, so then, just to recap,

since you've had Lux, you've manipulated

her into going out with Jones, you got my

nutball sister to give her a sex talk,

and, oh, now, now when she finally goes

out with the guy you hook her up with,

you ruin it. Yeah, great. Well, suddenly

I'm feeling like less of a parenting

failure. Oh, it's not a competition,

Kate. And if it were, you win, okay? You

got the good job, you got the nice house,

you've got the bank account, you got

everything. Everything. Where's Lex?

Where's Ryan? It's not like it's my fault.

You haven't exactly helped. What else do

you want to blame me for, Kate? It's

raining outside. It's Baze's fault your

car doesn't start Blame Baze. Listen, I am

not the root of all your problems.

Really? Because it feels like you ruined

my life back then, and somehow lately,

you show up everywhere I am, and you ruin

it again. It's been 16 years. Let it go.

I mean, isn't there some sort of statute

of limitations on how long you can punish

me for it? Statute? You idiot. Whatever.

And it's not just that. Okay, I heard you.

But you said you're stupid friends after

we slept together. What are you talking

about?

It was the one day after you were standing

outside of homeroom. You know, somebody

asked you if we hooked up. You said the

only way that you would ever hook up with

me was if I had a bag over my head and

tape over my mouth so you wouldn't have to

look at my face or listen to me.

I mean, it's no wonder I have a job in

radio. Kate, I'm sorry. You know that's

not true, right? I mean, look at you. I

shouldn't have said it. I didn't mean it.

Yes, you did. Do you know

that after we slept together, I actually

thought we were gonna date? And I called

my friend Missy and I told her that,

you know, I thought I might actually have

a boyfriend. And then I heard what you

said. You didn't even see me standing

there. It was like I didn't even exist.

I just felt totally, completely alone.

Like the biggest idiot.

Kind of like now I am back this high

school, waiting for this one person to

make me feel like I'm actually worth

something. Like I mean something to them.

Kate.

Kate, you are worth something to me.

What? Wait, what? No, I'm talking about

Lux, not you.

Because she's who I want. She's what will

make me feel better. Oh, my God. I am 32

years old. I'm not sitting around looking

for your approval. Okay, I get it.