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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:06,339 [Pam on radio] Once you get through the northernmost skylight, 2 00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,842 you're gonna crack it open and slide in there 3 00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:11,678 like the old lambskin you found in your best friend's sister's purse, 4 00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:14,889 positioning you right above the cedarwood coffee table. 5 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,391 Okay, we're in. 6 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:19,602 Body cams are online and-- Whoa, boy! 7 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,688 Cyril has not been skipping leg day. 8 00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:24,065 -[Cyril] Thank you, but focus. -Yep, yep, yep! 9 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,483 The furniture and floor are armed with 10 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,152 timed pressure-sensitive alarms, 11 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,029 so on every surface, you only have-- 12 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,196 [both] Three seconds. 13 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:39,873 [panther snarls] 14 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,797 I can't believe we're at the headquarters of Hands, 15 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,967 the greatest inventor in history, and I don't get to meet her. 16 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:54,596 Listen, man, we've all fallen for a reclusive billionaire tech genius. 17 00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:58,349 No, my lust for Hands is a more advanced brain lust, if you will. 18 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,143 [laughing] Like a zombie? 19 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,437 Is brain lust why you designed your hologram girlfriend 20 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,230 to have the same proportions as Barbie? 21 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,024 [Krieger] I'm looking for someone who challenges me. 22 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,650 The only challenge with Mitsuko 23 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,944 is keeping her projector from overheating. 24 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,697 Jesus, this is heavy. Wish we could find 25 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,366 a strength-boosting exo-suit to make this easier. 26 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,077 [Krieger] Through that tunnel and into the vault, 27 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,245 and your wish will soon be granted. 28 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,415 Any sign of JUNO operatives approaching? 29 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,335 No sign of those dicks yet, but let's steal the shit we need 30 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,296 and get the hell out like it's one of Gillette's dinner parties. 31 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,423 [Lana] Copy that. Starting descent now. 32 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,468 Cyril, do you have visual? 33 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:36,221 [laughs nervously] Affirmative. 34 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:37,472 -What the-- -[guns cocking] 35 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:38,932 [Archer] Took you long enough. 36 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,896 -What are you doing here? -Why are you doing missions without me? 37 00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,648 How did you know where we'd be? 38 00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,150 Because, Lana, I'm the world's greatest spy. 39 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,027 And how'd you get here before us? 40 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,863 Goddamn it, I just told you. I'm the world's greatest spy. 41 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,990 It is pretty impressive you shut off 42 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,575 all the countermeasures without our intel 43 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,827 so you could access the vault. 44 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,829 [alarm blaring] 45 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:07,001 The... Do what now? 46 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,336 -Have you seen Sterling? -[clatters] 47 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,880 I don't know. Maybe. 48 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,924 Probably... not. Probably not. 49 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,302 He was supposed to meet me for lunch an hour ago, 50 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,137 and that idiot stood me up. 51 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,017 -He should be here any minute. -Yes, ma'am. 52 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,185 Would you like me to bring your seafood tower 53 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,104 when it's ready, or shall we wait? 54 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:11,816 If I wanted my food to rot in the kitchen, looking sad, 55 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,777 I'd be ordering a big bowl of you on your break. 56 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:20,491 Find Sterling, tell him I'm here, and then tell him I'm busy. 57 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:25,163 Oh. And tell him the Buckley Bay oysters are out of season after today, 58 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,165 -and they were... -[Archer] Unbelievable. 59 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,917 You're doing missions without me? 60 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,419 Because this is what happens when you come along! 61 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:34,005 None of this would've happened if you told me about the mission. 62 00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:35,673 None of this would have happened 63 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,508 -if you weren't a spoiled asshole. -[Cyril panting] 64 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,093 Let's all take a breath. 65 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,054 We can't change what has already happened. 66 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,680 We must keep moving forward. 67 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,474 He's right. We just need to get there 68 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,768 and get the exo-suit before JUNO shows up. 69 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:50,271 Okay, A: What's a JUNO? And B: What's Cyril doing? 70 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,815 I'm using a mantra to help remain focused on the present 71 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,193 -and stay positive. -Oh, my God, Cyril. 72 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,028 No one wants a life coach whose entire life 73 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,571 has been a giant losing streak. 74 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:02,951 JUNO is a rival spy agency who started showing up during your coma. 75 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,536 [Pam] Speaking of JUNO, I set up a laser grid 76 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,414 around the perimeter of the compound to alert when they arrive. 77 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,833 -You mean if they arrive. -Right. 78 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,212 And if they show up, we'll be out of here because Krieger has us covered. 79 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:17,090 Then does Krieger want to explain why I'm still on the floor 80 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,342 using my turtleneck as a $3,000 broom? 81 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:22,220 [Krieger] Working on it, but I'm gonna need a retinal scan. 82 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,526 Is it unsettling to anybody else how comfortable Cyril is 83 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,028 playing Jim Henson with a dead guy? 84 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,697 -[metallic scrape] -[gears clicking] 85 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,493 Archer, please, stay outside. 86 00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:47,161 You've made your point, okay? 87 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,122 We're sorry for doing missions without you, 88 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,040 and we'll talk after this is over. 89 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,626 -But I-- -You'll just get in the way. 90 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,382 I'm only staying out here because I'm proving a point 91 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,136 about what I'd rather do than spend time with you two! 92 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:08,850 [sobbing] I-- I've been such a giving mother, and all he does is take. 93 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,602 He's treating his new valets better than me. 94 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,771 And he's fired all of them. 95 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,648 I was literally right by his side 96 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,525 throughout his entire coma, 97 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,028 and he can't even make it to a lunch. 98 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,195 I mean-- 99 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,823 [spits, gasping] 100 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:25,992 What is wrong with you? 101 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,661 Oh, my God! I must be going into anaphylactic shock! 102 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,914 Get one of the needles in the blue bag and stick it in my neck! 103 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,917 Wait. No! The needle's in the red bag! 104 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,754 -[choking] -You're not allergic to shellfish. 105 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,505 That's Pam, you idiot. 106 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,590 Oh. 107 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,967 Speaking of Pam, 108 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,636 why hasn't anyone from the mission checked in? 109 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,221 This isn't like them. 110 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,724 [chuckles] Mm. Yes. 111 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,143 But can you still inject me with one of those needles? 112 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,021 It can be from the blue bag or red bag. Dealer's choice. 113 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,612 [Lana] Uh, Krieger. 114 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,405 I don't see the exo-suit. 115 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,449 I'm just seeing what appears to be 116 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,201 a bunch of random, useless crap. 117 00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,870 [Pam] Are you looking in a mirror? Burn! 118 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,705 [Krieger] Oh, trust me. It's not random. 119 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,874 Everything Hands does has meaning. 120 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,125 She's so cool. 121 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,627 [phone ringing] 122 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,420 Oh, shit. It's Malory. 123 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,298 You know you have to tell her that Archer is here. 124 00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:24,467 -What the shit, Archer? -Relax, Lana. 125 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,803 I'm sure your billionaire husband, Robert, 126 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,262 can buy you a new phone 127 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,181 or maybe the factory that makes them. 128 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,475 -[beeping] -[Pam] Uh, why does Archer 129 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,310 look redder than an unstuck dog's dick? 130 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,854 No, no. He's not wearing a heat-locking suit! 131 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,315 Lana, Archer has to get out of there. He's too hot. 132 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:40,775 Shit. Archer, you're too hot. 133 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:42,693 I know you wanna make up for excluding me, 134 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:47,198 but acknowledgement of my attractiveness is not an apology. 135 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,575 -[alarm blares] -[mechanical clicking] 136 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,410 Oh, no, no. 137 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,623 Damn it. It's locked. 138 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:58,501 And you guys wanted to go on missions without me. 139 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:02,296 So... what are we looking for? 140 00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:07,802 Great. We're locked inside a high-security vault 141 00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:10,930 that appears to be protecting a collection of bar mitzvah gifts. 142 00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,849 Krieger, since you know the place so well, 143 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,059 please enlighten us on how we get out. 144 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:18,479 [Krieger] I'm on it. In the meantime, do not put your hands on anything 145 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,523 and send me a visual scan of the room. 146 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,568 I'm obviously not gonna touch anything. I'm not a complete moron. 147 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:27,405 Look. After whichever one of you dies first, I can throw a little fiesta. 148 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,282 -[party horns blow] -Damn it, Archer. 149 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,617 What? That was fun. 150 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,787 -[female voice] Countdown commence. -[Cyril] Countdown to what? 151 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,540 -Maybe more confetti? -Confetti's positive, right? 152 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,126 Archer, please don't touch anything else. 153 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,837 Define "anything." Wha-- 154 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,924 I need you guys to show me, piece by piece, what's on those shelves. 155 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:52,847 A phaser, coconut radio, a fedora, cursed idol, a mysterious floating cube... 156 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,974 See, all these things represent something 157 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,893 in Hands's life, something she's-- 158 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,270 Played a hand in? Huh? 159 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:00,771 Of course! It's a puzzle! 160 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,065 She's protecting the exo-suit with a puzzle. 161 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,235 Finally. God. I've been bored as dog dicks. 162 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,779 Mitsuko's not really a fun hang. 163 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,282 [groaning eerily] 164 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,743 [Lana] Sorry this couldn't be more fun for you 165 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:16,412 and that I might die in a vault with limited oxygen 166 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,708 because I'm with two assholes who suck the air out of every room they're in. 167 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:23,252 [panting] I'm sorry, but I need to exercise. 168 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,088 It helps me focus and rid myself of anxious energy. 169 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,633 Oh, if you're looking for an exercise to define your jawline, 170 00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,760 why don't you try shutting the hell up? 171 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,470 Thank you, Chuck Barris. 172 00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:33,679 -[gong rumbles] -[alarm blaring] 173 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,724 -[Cyril groans] -Archer. Archer! 174 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,101 -Archer! -What? 175 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,688 Stop! Touching! Everything! 176 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,649 I've taken this last known photo of Hands 177 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,276 and converted it into a stereogram. 178 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,778 Now we'll take the stereogram-- 179 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:52,532 Holy shit snacks. Is this Stalin? 180 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,283 No, it's Hands. 181 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,245 -Yeah, next to Joseph Stalin. -Hey, guys. 182 00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,790 The stereogram revealed a binary code, which, when fed into a translator, 183 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,251 delivered the word "babushka." Does that mean anything? 184 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:06,754 Ooh, ooh. Earlier, I saw one of these Russian nesting dolls. 185 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,006 -[Krieger] Ah, sweet! Open it up. -Are you sure? 186 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,425 -Cyril, just open the doll. -Uh, okay. 187 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,844 [breathes heavily] Uh, it's empty. 188 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,305 Huh. There's supposed to be a bunch of tiny dolls trapped inside. 189 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,182 -[metallic clanging] -[whirring] 190 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,519 -What'd you do? -Damn it. 191 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:24,021 Oh, my God. We're the tiny dolls trapped inside, 192 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,357 and we're all gonna die. 193 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,736 I send a team to snatch some valuable tech prototype before JUNO... 194 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,071 Ugh, those dicks. 195 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,615 ...and suddenly everyone forgets how to pick up a phone? 196 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,951 So disrespectful. You're the only one 197 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:38,703 who gets to keep secrets about missions. 198 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:42,790 Right! Speaking of which, where the hell is Sterling? 199 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,834 He's probably at home because you told me 200 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,669 to send out that fake company e-mail 201 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,005 about the building fumigation so he wouldn't come. 202 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,715 I never told you to do that. 203 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,049 [grunts] We're on such a roll 204 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,467 with all these lies to Sterling. 205 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,136 I just can't stop! 206 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,804 I'm not trying to lie. 207 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,473 I just want to protect him. He's not ready. 208 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:04,020 I wish my mom/boss would lie to me to keep me from getting hurt. 209 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,480 Wait. Have you been telling me a bunch of lies? 210 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:07,690 Call him. 211 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,150 No! 212 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,027 We've told him so many lies. 213 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,904 We're right on the verge of breaking him. 214 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:16,282 [grunts] Fine. 215 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,201 I don't know his number. 216 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,662 -Move! Idiot. -[dialing] 217 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,831 [line ringing] 218 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,542 [woman] Hello? Oh, my God. Who are you trying to reach? 219 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,961 Sterling? Who the hell is this? 220 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,505 Is he the handsome man in the black turtleneck? 221 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,966 'Cause I guess he's not so handsome now. 222 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,969 What happened? This is his mother! Where is he? 223 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,472 -[siren blaring] -Oh, I'm so sorry. 224 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,432 I don't know how to tell you this. [sobs] 225 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:44,935 -[gasps] Oh, my God. Oh, my God! -He-- He-- 226 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,355 -What have I done? -[Archer laughs] Got ya! 227 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,315 Post-coma voice-mail hoax. 228 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,692 -Yeah, I'm doing it. -[machine beeps] 229 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,528 [female voice] The mailbox you are trying to reach is full. 230 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,280 Goddamn it! 231 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:59,825 And the student becomes the master. 232 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,662 -[phone ringing] -Uh, we're relying on Pam and Krieger 233 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,330 to solve this death puzzle? 234 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:05,581 Archer, please. 235 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,458 The power of positive change lives within-- 236 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:08,876 Oh, just answer it! 237 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,628 No. I don't wanna talk to my mom 238 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,506 about her stupid mother-son annual seafood lunch 239 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:17,301 that I missed-- that never existed before today-- 240 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:22,098 oh, my God-- and was planned to distract me from coming on this mission. 241 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:24,225 -She did this! -Yes, but she can help us. 242 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,894 Help us? She can't even find me a decent valet. 243 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,354 [brakes squeak] 244 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,108 Excuse me. You think I can't open the door myself? 245 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,567 -You're fired. -But, sir, 246 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,903 it is quite literally my job to help you. 247 00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:40,032 You don't have a job. Now close the door for me so I can open it again myself, 248 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,494 and then go home and shut the door on your neck... 249 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,291 after you pick up my dry cleaning. 250 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,837 Fine. I'll call her, but only to get her to apologize. 251 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,632 -[dialing] -[line ringing] 252 00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:59,385 -[Cheryl] Malory Archer's office. -Yeah, it's me. Put me through. 253 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:02,388 -Please hold. -[Malory] Well, well, well. 254 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,433 If it isn't my ungrateful son who stood me up. 255 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,892 -[Cheryl screams] -[gunshots] 256 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,686 No! Mother! Mother, what happened? 257 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,646 [Cheryl] Oh, my God! Ms. Archer's been hit! 258 00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:13,524 No! Oh, my God. I never should've come on this mission just to prove a-- 259 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:17,027 -[Cheryl cackles] -[Malory] Ha! Elaborate voice-mail prank. 260 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,988 -Leave it! -Ah! 261 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,699 -[alarm buzzes] -[all coughing] 262 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:25,578 I can't believe I choked on the taste of my own medicine. 263 00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:28,456 No, I'm pretty sure that's just the toxic gas. 264 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,708 -[alarm blares] -Oh, shit. The dicks from JUNO 265 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,209 have breached our perimeter. 266 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,295 There's only one thing we can do now. 267 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,672 They need us. 268 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,549 [Lana] No, do not come here. 269 00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:39,717 Get us help. 270 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,594 Oh, hell yeah! 271 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:47,766 What? Bonus turtleneck hot wing! Sweet! 272 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,686 -Ki-yah! Ki-yah! -[Lana, Archer coughing] 273 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:51,937 Ki-yah! Ki-yah! 274 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,398 You know, Lana, since I got out of my coma, 275 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:59,361 it's been enlightening to see how you treat people you allegedly "care about." 276 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,280 How I treat people I care about? 277 00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,491 Yeah, you keep them far away 278 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,701 so you can do whatever you decide is best for you. 279 00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:06,660 I'm sorry? 280 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:07,953 You sent our daughter a million miles away 281 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,456 to boarding school so you don't have to deal with her? 282 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,416 Don't have to deal with her? I sent her to receive 283 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,460 the best education in the world instead of sitting around 284 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,045 waiting for you to get out of a coma. 285 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,255 Oh, okay. So I'm being punished 286 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,799 because I chose to be in a coma for three years. 287 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,885 Not everything is about you. Oh, my God! 288 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,345 We're only in this stupid death trap 289 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:25,888 because you do whatever you want! 290 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,389 This is bullshit. 291 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,892 All of these stupid toys don't mean anything. 292 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:33,270 It's all just-- Oh, my God. The Six Million Dollar Man. 293 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,980 -Archer, no! -[groans] Forget it. 294 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,232 [yelps] 295 00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:40,444 Ahhh! Ow! 296 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,738 [grunts] Holy shit. 297 00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:45,366 Am I dead? This has to be heaven. 298 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:48,285 Wait. I went to heaven? That can't be right. 299 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,621 -[footsteps approach] -Are you the devil? 300 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,665 Not quite. Although I'm sure the devil 301 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,709 will be as equally thrilled when you arrive, 302 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,586 Sterling Archer. 303 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,463 So, do you want a drink? 304 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,466 Uh, well, if you're eventually gonna kill me, 305 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,134 I might as well be drunk for that. 306 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,345 So, yeah, a whiskey. 307 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,560 -Do you need this? -Yes, thank you. 308 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,645 [chuckles] I'm not gonna kill you. 309 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,355 I mean, crush you, sure, 310 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:21,318 in electric football. Boosh! 311 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,988 Ha! Holy shit. I always wanted one of these. 312 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,282 [Lana] Ugh, Archer was right. 313 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,408 [Cyril panting] 314 00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:29,243 It is somehow worse when it's just the two of us. 315 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,912 Universe, send us a sign-- [grunts] 316 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,665 Shut up and focus on figuring out how to get us out! 317 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,667 Thank you, Lana. You're right. 318 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,669 [yelling] 319 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,838 -[clattering] -[alarm sounds] 320 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,339 [yelping] 321 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,219 [both] Three seconds. 322 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:51,807 [Krieger grunts, groans] 323 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,978 Damn it! [grunting] 324 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,440 Okay. All righty. 325 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:00,941 Alley-oop! 326 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,985 [panting, grunts] 327 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,363 -[clattering] -[both panting] 328 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,907 Okay. All righty. 329 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,200 [both grunt] 330 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,660 [panther snarls] 331 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,037 [clattering, object shattering] 332 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,205 [both grunting] 333 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,834 Oh, shit! 334 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,003 Goddamn it! 335 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,756 [both breathing heavily] 336 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,092 [grunting] Goddamn it. 337 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,595 -[thuds] -[groaning] 338 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,890 [grunting] 339 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,266 [yelps] 340 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,518 -[Krieger grunting] -[beeping] 341 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,026 -[beeps] -[panting] 342 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,697 -Being a spy is not that hard. -Right? 343 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,576 -Get me out of here! -[coughing] 344 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:56,747 Get out. Okay, go back. Go back. Go back. [chuckles] Nice! 345 00:15:56,830 --> 00:16:01,085 Am I still in a coma? Because these graphics are amazing. 346 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:02,753 This place is incredible. 347 00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:04,463 Yeah, I've always loved games. 348 00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:07,007 But after my accident, I got really into them. 349 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:10,761 They ease my mind, but they're also an escape from my physical limitations. 350 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:14,515 Oh, so your accident is why they call you Hands. 351 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,558 What? No, dummy. Obviously, it's because 352 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,519 I'm the greatest inventor of all time 353 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,146 at the grace of these perfect hands. Huh? 354 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,482 -[both laugh] -Did you invent that backpack thing? 355 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,860 The exo-suit? Jesus, have you been in a coma for three years? 356 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,989 Yeah. Here. You should try it on. 357 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,534 When inside, it redistributes weight with pressurized air, 358 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:37,788 so people like you and me can move our entire bodies with no pain. 359 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:41,333 Oh, my God. I haven't felt like this since space. 360 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,920 I'm weightless. Whoo-hoo! Ya-ha-ha-ha! 361 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,465 [laughs] Wait. Is this what we were trying to steal? 362 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,927 Your team wants to steal it to prevent me from selling to the highest bidder. 363 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:52,845 And JUNO? 364 00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,180 JUNO wants to steal it because they are dicks. 365 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,267 But this shouldn't be stolen. This should be shared with everyone. 366 00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,685 What's the point of stealing? 367 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,897 Oh, shit. It's a weapon. 368 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:07,776 -[door buzzes] -This entire house is a trained killer! 369 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,611 I know, right? God, it's cool. 370 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,863 What about Archer? 371 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,906 We need to get back to the van first. 372 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,366 We can track Archer from there. 373 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,702 What about the exo-suit? What about Hands? 374 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,537 The van is the Alamo! 375 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,621 [guns cock] 376 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,123 Good luck with that. 377 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,046 [pounds punching bag rapidly] 378 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:31,467 [laughs] I'm gonna beat the high score on everything. 379 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,511 This thing is incredible. Do you know what I could do with this? 380 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:38,140 I could do everything I used to do but better. I could-- 381 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,559 You can't have sex in the suit. 382 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,478 Well, I'm not so sure about that. 383 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,898 Dude, you cannot have sex in the suit. Trust me. 384 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:48,817 Well, now I can do a ton of other stuff I used to do. 385 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,070 I can run. I can jump. I can squat. 386 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,740 I can drink, which, honestly, hasn't really changed anyway, but still... 387 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:57,618 -I'm glad you like it, Archer. -Like it? I love it! 388 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:01,246 I love this house. I love this bar. I love this room. 389 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,707 I love this. I love this. 390 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,876 -[gunfire] -I hate this! I hate this! I hate this! 391 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,922 I don't wanna be a spy anymore! Stupid! 392 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,757 Fall back! Fall back! 393 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,967 [metallic clanging] 394 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,012 -[explosion booms] -[gasps] 395 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,889 What the hell? 396 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,391 [Archer] Shit. I gotta go. 397 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,852 What are you talking about? They're professionals 398 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,813 and made a choice to do this without you. 399 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,065 Yeah, but they obviously need me. 400 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:30,234 After everything they've done to you? 401 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,528 They lied to you, chastised you, 402 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,739 and excluded you simply because of your disability. 403 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,491 They didn't even try to look for you. 404 00:18:37,574 --> 00:18:39,159 They were gonna leave you here. 405 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,703 They don't deserve you. 406 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,372 Huh. 407 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:49,878 It's over. Just come out and give us the damn exo-suit. 408 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,881 [whimpers] What do we do? What do we do? 409 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,217 Cyril and I will engage them in hand-to-hand. 410 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,844 Krieger, use the distraction to-- 411 00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,345 -Got it. -[gunfire] 412 00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:01,098 Ah! I'm hit! I'm hit! 413 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:04,268 I'm hit in my beautiful leg! [sobbing] 414 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,019 Shit! There's too many of them! 415 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,272 [Archer] Looks like you guys could use some help. 416 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:09,356 Who's there? 417 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,817 [Archer] Oh, just the world's greatest spy. 418 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,819 Yeah, we'll see about that. Wha-- 419 00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:17,072 [Archer] Just so we're clear: you guys do want my help now? 420 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,407 -Yes! -Stop screwing around. 421 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:21,326 -[man grunts] -[gunfire] 422 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:25,205 [Archer] Are you two sure I'm not going to "just get in the way"? 423 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,749 [men grunting] 424 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,502 -Damn it, Archer! We need you. -[Cyril] And we're sorry! 425 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,130 Ahhh! [grunts] 426 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:35,007 That wasn't so hard now, was it? 427 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,092 -[Krieger groans] -Wow, Archer. [chuckles] 428 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,304 I guess being back on missions really "suits" you. 429 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,306 -What? -Because of your exo-suit. 430 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:45,267 I think you mean my exo-suit. 431 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,602 [gasps] 432 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,312 If you leave here with that suit, 433 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,356 it'll only ever be used for death and destruction. 434 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,194 -I don't think that's true. -You got to see firsthand 435 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,362 how this technology can save a life and improve-- 436 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,823 Life? Five minutes ago you were trying to convince me 437 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,825 to abandon my friends and let them die. 438 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,535 -Hey! That's destructive thinking! -What? 439 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,621 [scoffs] That was a test. 440 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,373 I just woke up, and I can tell that's bullshit. 441 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,335 Archer, no one should be limited the way we are. 442 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:14,338 If you leave it here with me, I can continue perfecting it. 443 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,381 And then, when it's ready, I can share it 444 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,217 with the people who need it most. 445 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,303 Well, I've determined I'm the person who needs it the most. 446 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,721 Good-bye, Hands. 447 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:24,556 Come on, Archer. Let's go. 448 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,225 I can't move. 449 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,268 Oh, Archer. You think 450 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,479 the smartest robotics engineer on the planet 451 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,940 -wouldn't install a backup plan? -Oh, no! [groaning] 452 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,900 -[electric crackling] -On second thought-- [groans] 453 00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:37,486 it's probably best if the suit stays with you. 454 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,030 Die, you dicks! 455 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,823 [all gasp] 456 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:44,034 -[remote beeps] -[gasps] 457 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:50,207 No! You maniacs! 458 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,084 You blew it up! 459 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,294 Oh, damn you! 460 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:57,923 Goddamn you all to hell! 461 00:20:58,006 --> 00:21:01,009 Oh, Krieger. Sorry about Mitsuko, dude. 462 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,303 [sobbing] Are you kidding? 463 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:06,390 I have hundreds of backups of her files. 464 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:12,104 But do you know how much cherry custom work went into that van? 465 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,231 -[sobbing] -[inhales sharply, sighs] 466 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,733 That was a sweet-ass van, dude. 34185

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