Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,002 --> 00:00:05,130
[Malory] Item four.
2
00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:08,883
Our contact in the Sudan called.
He wants to know--
3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,136
Why the hell you started without me?
4
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,805
Well, which part of
"9:00 a.m. sharp" confused you?
5
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:15,849
-Most of it, obviously.
-Yet...
6
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:18,059
...it was pretty clear
to the rest of us.
7
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,229
Who clearly didn’t have
the shitty morning I’ve had, Lana.
8
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:25,024
Without pata negra ham, it’s not
really Eggs Woodhouse, now is it?
9
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,277
Well, sir, culatello ham
is actually--
10
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,030
It’s a different pig
from a different country,
11
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,740
raised on a different diet!
12
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,285
The takeaway here is, you’re fired.
13
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:38,413
[laughs] It’s a little thing
called "being on time"-ing-ness.
14
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,458
Oh, and I thought it was called
"who cares"-ness.
15
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,042
Things have changed.
16
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,170
Briefings start at 9:00 a.m.,
17
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:47,756
and I expect everyone
front and center.
18
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,425
How? When I have to park,
like, a gajillion miles away
19
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,302
because Cyril’s vasectomy on wheels
20
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,304
is in my God damn parking space?
21
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,222
It’s been mine for quite some time.
22
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,016
And you don’t need it anyway, dear,
23
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,934
-now that you can use the--
-A-da-da...
24
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,645
Handicap space. What?
25
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,731
[grunts]
26
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:06,733
Oh, and speaking of.
27
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:09,986
[car alarm blaring]
28
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,404
You trashed my car?
29
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,406
"Trashed" is a strong word, Cyril.
30
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,116
-Listen.
-Accurate, but strong.
31
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,409
You’re gonna pay for that.
32
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,828
Uh, literally or figuratively?
33
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,663
Maybe we try both.
34
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,207
-Oh, like as in, over my dead...
-[cane hums]
35
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,042
[emphatically] Not now.
36
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,586
...body, in case you were wondering
where I was going--
37
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,338
Oh!
38
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,257
Oh, for the love of...
39
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,092
-Krieger?
-[Krieger] If this is about
40
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,720
a package that just arrived,
super don’t open it.
41
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,096
-What?
-Nothing.
42
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:40,099
Thanks to you, Sterling
just zapped himself to death
43
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,184
all over my carpet!
44
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,393
Uh, no.
45
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,020
I specifically designed it
46
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,980
so the voltage wouldn’t kill him.
47
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,691
Just maybe put him back in a coma?
48
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:49,901
So you can study his brain?
49
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,696
-[line clicks]
-[dial tone]
50
00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:36,156
[Archer] Are you kidding me?
51
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,533
We have our own jet now?
52
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,327
Well, the agency has become
quite profitable
53
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,080
ever since your... accident.
54
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,790
Some might even say "because of."
55
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,333
Either way, you can thank me
56
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,751
by telling me where the drinks are.
57
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,086
It’s a dry plane.
58
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:51,880
Shut up, Cyril. That’s not a thing.
59
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,923
Uh, we have an unspoken policy
60
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,717
against the whole "shut up" thing.
61
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,428
Hmm, but no policy
on coma-jacking parking spots?
62
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,554
Be that as it may...
63
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,139
Strong priorities.
64
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,266
Be that as it may,
65
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,353
we’ve instituted a strict
"no drinking on duty" policy...
66
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,357
with certain limited exceptions.
67
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,819
Well, un-limit them, because
I’m trying to prepare for a mission.
68
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,821
That involves us going
to a secret island
69
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,157
to infiltrate an underground
martial arts tournament,
70
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,659
hosted by black-market
arms dealer, Win Li,
71
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,411
and smuggle him back to the US.
72
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:26,497
-In a fit of irony?
-To stand trial.
73
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,208
So it’s important
we take him alive. You got it?
74
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,127
Chong Li, karate island,
hadoken. Got it.
75
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,337
Nope.
76
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:36,424
Oh, for Chrissakes, this was all
covered in the damn briefing.
77
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:39,677
Which you were late to
and then nearly died during.
78
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,638
Mm-mm-mm. So "disprofessional."
79
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,349
Yeah. Does this mean briefings are
gonna start being fun again?
80
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,517
-Absolutely not!
-[Krieger] Aw.
81
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,144
Krieger’s flying the damn plane,
82
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,938
and we’re supposed
to be not drinking?
83
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,606
-[chuckles] Right?
-[Krieger] Wait, we’re not?
84
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:52,857
Krieger!
85
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,360
So, I guess here’s to backup plans.
86
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,695
No. New, better Cheryl
doesn’t do that!
87
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,489
New, better Cheryl?
What the hell’s that?
88
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,740
I don’t know!
89
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,076
But she does very good typings
90
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,495
and many important,
non-burny things.
91
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,997
Well, not me, so don’t mind if I do.
92
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,876
Hey, I was toasting and/or
taunting you, Pam, not offering.
93
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,671
[belches] Agree to disagree.
94
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:22,887
[Archer] Oh, man.
95
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,848
Pretty sure I have the world’s
first karate-island boner.
96
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,726
Could you not? We try to keep things
professional around here.
97
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:32,272
Fine, God. How about
"work-related erection"?
98
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,692
More like, maybe try not talking
about your erection at all.
99
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,988
I... don’t know how.
100
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:50,331
Welcome, everyone, to the
12th annual Dragon Fire Kumite!
101
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:54,168
[crowd chanting]
102
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,170
Fighters, head to registration.
103
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:59,507
And everyone, please enjoy
the loggerhead turtle sliders.
104
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:03,011
They’re almost extinct
because they’re so tasty!
105
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,220
[cheering]
106
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:10,101
Mmm, he wasn’t kidding.
These things are amazing.
107
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,854
Oh, put that away.
I’m allergic to loggerhead.
108
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:16,566
Along with cat dander and
motherly affection? Got it. Mmm.
109
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,777
Dear God, stop stuffing your face
like a refugee.
110
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,487
It’s called carb loading, Mother.
111
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,572
-Mmm.
-For what?
112
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,073
Karate island.
113
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,701
Actually, we’ll be entering Cyril
114
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,202
to fight in the tournament.
115
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,163
Officially ending the search
116
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,956
for your long-lost sense of humor.
117
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,293
It’s just, Cyril’s a bit more...
118
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,796
I think the term you’re looking for
is "fully functioning."
119
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,089
How do I look?
120
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,549
You mean besides like you’ve got
121
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,051
the world’s first black belt
in tax law?
122
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,510
[laughs] Right?
123
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,182
[Archer] We get it.
You finally exercised.
124
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,683
Stop being such a dick about it.
125
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,186
Ignore him, Cyril. You’ll do fine.
126
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:56,856
Which is more than I can say
for whatever this is supposed to be.
127
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,441
It’s called undercover.
128
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,152
As opposed to vaguely racist?
129
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:02,487
[laughs] Vaguely?
130
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:03,780
Ow!
131
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,823
Mission-focused, young lady.
132
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,033
You hear me?
133
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:09,660
Well, not out of this damn ear.
134
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:13,081
[belches] Oh, wait. That’s better.
135
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:16,292
What? She stole my flask, Mother.
I’m the victim here.
136
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,294
Your job is to stick to the plan.
137
00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:20,004
Stick to the plan. Got it.
138
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,589
I’ll do a Manhattan on the rocks.
139
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:22,965
Oh, for the love of...
140
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,593
-I want mission focus.
-Jesus.
141
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:30,306
-Sync on me in three, two, one.
-Wait. Sync on what?
142
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,016
-Mark.
-Mark?
143
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,685
-I want comms checks...
-Wait, who’s Mark?
144
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,355
...and everyone in position
in two minutes.
145
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:38,481
Now move out.
146
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,820
I’m starting to feel like
I maybe missed a meeting.
147
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,366
-[drums beating]
-[cheering]
148
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,701
Okay. Once we get past the guards,
149
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,328
we trigger the halon system,
150
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:54,080
filling this place
with a cloud of gas.
151
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,998
And then we whisk Win Li away
in the chaos.
152
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,835
Right. So, uh, where are we
on that refill?
153
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,211
Not really part of what we’re doing.
154
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,046
It’s called tradecraft, Lana.
155
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,798
You even care about
blowing your cover?
156
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,758
I think your tradecraft’s
a tad rusty.
157
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,802
Oh, so we’re making fun
158
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:09,595
-of my coma now.
-[sighs] Archer...
159
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,764
Feels like a dark line
to cross, Lana.
160
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,600
Sorry, not what I meant.
Let’s just focus on our jobs.
161
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,271
Exactly. So yeah, lighter
on the vermouth this time.
162
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,439
[bell dings]
163
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,525
And when you bring him his drink,
164
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,402
slip this into it.
165
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:28,364
Now careful. That’s
highly-concentrated benzodiazepine.
166
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,867
[gasps] Oh, you mean
a booster buddy!
167
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,994
Don’t worry, new, better Cheryl
168
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,537
totally stopped taking these
twice a day.
169
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,914
Twice? How are you still even alive?
170
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,416
Thanks to Jesus.
171
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,586
He’s the Costa Rican guy
I used to pay to pump my stomach.
172
00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:44,088
Just get it done.
173
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,174
[Pam] Yeah, good luck with that.
174
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,176
Seriously,
what’s he so worked up about?
175
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,844
[taunting in Mandarin]
176
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,308
How the hell should I know?
I don’t speak angry-as-shit...
177
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,642
Mandarin?
178
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,186
I’m just the trainer.
179
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,354
Cleverly disguised as a drunk moron.
180
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,440
Who could still whip your bony ass.
181
00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:05,276
Speaking of, how about you tag me in
for a few rounds?
182
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,153
Feeling a little frisky. [chuckles]
183
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,447
This is why
we don’t drink on duty, Pam.
184
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,449
We had a detailed
mission plan, and--
185
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:12,867
-[bell dings]
-That hopefully included
186
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,535
your dumb ass turning around.
187
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,786
[opponent] Hyah!
188
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,330
-[crowd cheers]
-[groans]
189
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,707
-Great.
-I know, right?
190
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,168
No, I mean there are
more guards now...
191
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,628
[inaudible]
192
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,005
...who are apparently
easily distracted.
193
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,757
Let’s move. Now.
194
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,008
-Archer.
-Uh, hang on.
195
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,259
-Archer!
-What?
196
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,094
I’m easily distracted too, Lana.
197
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,262
I’m trying to watch Cyril...
198
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,598
-[both grunting]
-Hi-yah!
199
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,727
[bell dings]
200
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,771
...weirdly not getting
his ass kicked.
201
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,356
Well, so much for--
202
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,066
Parking-spot schadenfreude.
203
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,859
And more importantly, for our chance
204
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,611
to just walk right on in there.
205
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,279
Unless...
206
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,697
-Pam, come in.
-What the...
207
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,407
It’s a new microburst
ear transmitter.
208
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,868
I know, dummy.
Why don’t I have one in my ear?
209
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,329
Uh, because you’re not
in tactical command?
210
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,248
But a cocktail waitress is?
211
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,582
That makes zero sense.
212
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,085
Ugh. Just... Pam, come in.
213
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:06,254
[Pam] All right, all right.
Hold your damn horses.
214
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,798
Mr. Hogging-the-ring
wants some water.
215
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,259
And she’s drunk. Happy now?
216
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:14,011
That you have space ears
and I don’t? You tell me, Lana.
217
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,429
Space ears?
218
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,098
In my coma, we were in space,
219
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,141
and we put that word
in front of everything.
220
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,519
It was pretty space great.
221
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:24,272
Ugh. I told Malory
bringing you was a bad idea.
222
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,065
Oh, why is that?
Because it conflicted
223
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,692
with your new life plan to avoid me?
224
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,235
No. Wait. What?
225
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,861
I’m not trying
to stay away from you.
226
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,613
Please. Staying away
is all you’ve been doing
227
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,823
since the coma, Lana.
228
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,157
Oh, that’s ridiculous.
229
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,826
It’s okay. I get it.
230
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,078
It’s obvious
you don’t trust yourself around me.
231
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,622
[laughs] Wait, what? Why wouldn’t I?
232
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,833
Oh, well, I’ll, uh, give you a hint.
233
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:47,545
The answer rhymes with
"my throbbing sexuality."
234
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,882
[Pam] All right. Glass Joe here
is good to go. What’s up?
235
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:55,177
Oh, me? Just reeling from blunt
force sexual imagery.
236
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,473
Hey, Lana says keep
the fight going until their signal.
237
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,100
You got that?
238
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,311
[crowd cheers]
239
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:07,023
Well, in the hands
of a lesser fighter...
240
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,317
Which, compared to me,
you totally are.
241
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,694
Come on, Cyril. Give mama a turn.
242
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,613
-Pam, you’re drunk.
-[laughs]
243
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:16,282
Since when’s that a damn problem?
244
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,908
Mission accomplished.
245
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,368
-Good.
-Oh, wait.
246
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,329
-Non-accomplished.
-What?
247
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,456
-"Disaccomplished"?
-What happened?
248
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,957
I remembered new, better Cheryl
249
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,542
doesn’t drug random people anymore.
250
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,419
Oh, just shut up.
251
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:31,464
Clearly, I have to do
everything around here.
252
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,215
[gentle Chinese music]
253
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,842
[Cheryl] Ooh. Don’t look now,
254
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:37,011
but I think
a certain someone is into...
255
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,387
[Lana] Necrophilia?
256
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,306
My husband’s older, not dead.
257
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,474
It’s the same thing, Lana.
258
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:43,142
Unlike the sex,
259
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:45,102
which we both know
was way better with me.
260
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,314
It’s hard to call it better when you
hate yourself afterwards.
261
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,483
And yet, you kept
coming back for more,
262
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,818
thereby proving
how irresistible I am.
263
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,072
-[bell dings]
-Wait. Lana, shut up. Check it out.
264
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,240
-Thank you.
-Hey! What the hell are you doing?
265
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,494
Restoring balance to the universe,
Lana. What’s it look like?
266
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:04,789
This is Sterling Archer,
tactical commander, not Lana,
267
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:08,584
who, side note, is basically begging
to have sex with me right-- Ow!
268
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:09,794
Will you just-- Come on!
269
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,049
[yells]
270
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,551
The hell kind of girls’ prison
271
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,053
did you learn to fight in?
272
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,805
Come on. Tag me in.
273
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,973
What the-- This isn’t pro wrestling!
274
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,433
[yelps]
275
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,685
I must say, your fighter
276
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,646
has been quite impressive.
277
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:29,730
He better be.
278
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,981
That man he’s fighting
279
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,234
usually has a killer right hook.
280
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:34,735
And that’s not
a euphemism for anything.
281
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,153
People die all the time.
282
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,822
[crowd gasps]
283
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,448
Oh, wait. There it is.
284
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,367
[cell phone rings]
285
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,910
Oh, sorry. Work.
286
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:43,994
Y’ello.
287
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,497
[scoffs] Defective, my ass.
288
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:49,166
Hey, Yuri, try standing
on one of those land mines,
289
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,836
and you’ll see
how not defective they are.
290
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,754
Mm, sorry. Where were we?
291
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,340
[crowd cheering]
292
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,801
-[elevator door dings]
-[Lana] So let me get this straight.
293
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,887
In your sick, little world,
every moment I’m with you,
294
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,932
I’m basically a nanosecond away
from ripping off my clothes,
295
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:07,309
jumping your bones
and ruining my life?
296
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,728
-[chuckles] Your words.
-Not how that phrase works.
297
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,440
Though it’s apparently
how being obsessed with me works.
298
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,360
[silenced gunshots]
299
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,445
-Damn it, Archer!
-What?
300
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,529
We don’t go around
301
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:19,738
shooting people anymore.
302
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,740
-Why not?
-Because...
303
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,075
[silenced gunshots]
304
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,536
That’s literally 95% of the job.
305
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:28,164
W-We try to use nonlethal force now.
306
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,832
-[toilet flushes]
-[whistles]
307
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,333
-[gasps]
-[silenced gunshot]
308
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,919
It’s called a license to kill, Lana,
309
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,589
not a license to gently subdue.
310
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,757
-[laughs]
-Is this funny to you?
311
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,427
Not you, idiot. [laughs] That.
312
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,762
Jesus Christ, Archer.
313
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:44,847
Did you forget to call Pam
314
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,974
and tell her we’re past the guards?
315
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,685
-Sure, let’s go with that.
-Call her, God damn it. He’s...
316
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,562
Really getting killed out there.
317
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:54,023
-Well, in the meantime...
-[cell phone rings]
318
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,942
Y’ello?
319
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,777
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Raoul,
no one ever said
320
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,155
that bazooka could
sink a cruise ship.
321
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:02,948
[chuckles]
You want to take out a cruise ship,
322
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,117
I can sell you something
to take out a cruise ship,
323
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,744
you kook! [laughs]
324
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,245
Okay, I’ll see you in Kiev.
[hangs up]
325
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,788
Sorry, where were we?
326
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:13,709
I was just about to suggest
we freshen our refreshments.
327
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,462
Mm, I like where this is going.
328
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:18,214
Wait, as in sex, right?
329
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,840
If you play your cards right.
330
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:24,178
Ah, and the delicate
foreplay dance begins.
331
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,305
[moans]
332
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:29,725
-[gags]
-Hey!
333
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:33,145
Whatever happened to
"no more personal calls, Cheryl."
334
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,481
"No more four-hour lunches, Carol."
335
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,650
"No more shoving
your fingers in"-- [chokes]
336
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,905
Pam, get Lana on comms and tell--
337
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,990
[groans]
338
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,659
[crowd cheering]
339
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,160
Jesus Christ!
340
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,621
Like beating a dead horse out there!
341
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,414
Pam... [spits tooth]
342
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:57,127
get Lana on the...
talk box thing and tell her...
343
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,462
[Lana] What do you mean,
you can’t call?
344
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,047
Mm, there’s no signal down here.
345
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:01,840
-Oh, idiot.
-Idiot?
346
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,176
I didn’t invent
how cement walls work, Lana.
347
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,886
-What?
-The hell...
348
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,557
Okay, yeah, so...
349
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,851
Oh, I’m just gonna--
I’m just gonna go ahead and...
350
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,603
[vomits]
351
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,105
[crowd cheering]
352
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,944
That’s it. Calling my own number.
353
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,029
-Yah!
-[crowd gasps]
354
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,784
Whoo!
355
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,329
Big Mama’s handing out
biscuits, baby!
356
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,539
[crowd gasping]
357
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:37,918
Ah, you dare interfere
with the Dragon Fire Kumite?
358
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,921
Well, somebody had to
spice up this snoozefest.
359
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,592
Oh, then by rule,
you must duel to the death
360
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,136
with the legendary Dragon Fire!
361
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,262
[choking]
362
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,432
-[crowd gasps]
-[Pam] Conway Stern?
363
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:54,768
[choking] Take... me!
364
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,354
Uh... Pamela.
365
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,940
So glad you came.
366
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,525
Twice.
367
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,527
Tum-tum feeling better?
368
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,030
-Nice tone, Lana.
-[guns cocking]
369
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,908
But yes, thank you for asking.
370
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,957
Okay, I’ve got an idea. Maybe try
glaring at me tons more, Lana.
371
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,626
Maybe that’ll get us out of here.
372
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,794
Oh, I’m sorry. Was I glaring?
373
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,756
I thought I was just looking at the
idiot who got us caught!
374
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,507
Well, with your
resting bitch face...
375
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,635
-[gasps]
-[guard] Hey, asshole!
376
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:31,180
No talking
till Mr. Li gets here to kill you
377
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,557
with a bazooka,
like you are cruise ship.
378
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,892
-[laughs]
-Fine.
379
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,602
But if you scratch that cane,
380
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,688
it will literally end up
inside your...
381
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,773
-Asshole.
-[crowd cheering]
382
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,858
[laughs] Yeah.
I probably deserve that.
383
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,943
I bet you miss me, though.
384
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,778
Not even close, bud.
385
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,363
What you could’ve
gone with there is,
386
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,907
"Glenn Close, but no cigar."
387
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:54,536
Well, you’re about to have
a dangerous liaison... with my fist!
388
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,621
[both grunt]
389
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,706
Oh, my, my, my.
390
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,625
Looks like a... reversal of fortune.
391
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,293
[straining]
392
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,462
Are you starting to feel
a... fatal attraction?
393
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,214
No, it’s more like...
394
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,175
-Hook!
-[growls]
395
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:09,468
[Lana] Uh...
396
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,553
Resting what face?
397
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,014
I’m not at all sure I follow.
398
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,432
-Bitch.
-Pardon?
399
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,560
I believe you said,
"resting bitch face."
400
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,397
Uh, honestly, I feel like
I would remember that.
401
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,773
Ah, good. I must’ve misheard.
402
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,400
That means I don’t have to do this.
403
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,901
[groans] God damn it.
404
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:26,986
[thud]
405
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,654
Hey, I told you--
406
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:32,282
[shuddering]
407
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,287
[grunts] Son of a bitch!
408
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,498
Problem? [laughs]
409
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,708
[groans]
410
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,459
Well, not if you’d stand still
411
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,378
for, like, two fricking seconds.
412
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,505
[laughs] Yeah, I hear you.
413
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:49,049
I’m kind of like...
Uh... I’m like a...
414
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,385
Muhammad Al-over the damn place?
415
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,469
Damn it!
416
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,221
[grunting]
417
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,974
[gunfire]
418
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,101
Go!
419
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,567
[screams]
420
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,485
Hey, Lana,
421
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,404
how’s the "non-murdering bad guys"
thing going?
422
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,198
Well, like everything else
you touch,
423
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,950
it’s kind of turned to shit.
424
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:20,372
Oh, my God! Did you just see that?
425
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,292
Full on, mid-air headshot!
426
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,335
That was so pre-coma me.
427
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,046
Yeah, like "being pinned down,
428
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,505
about to die,
and it’s all your fault"
429
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,841
feels pretty pre-coma you also.
430
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:32,718
[laughs] Right?
431
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:33,927
Although...
432
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,345
...that’s kind of new.
433
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,097
[grunts, groans angrily]
434
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,850
[both grunting]
435
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,270
[grunts]
436
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,230
[crowd cheering]
437
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,398
[guard] Don’t move!
438
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,150
Lana, am I still in a coma?
439
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,444
What are you-- No. God damn it, no.
440
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,988
Damn, because this is gonna hurt.
441
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:58,285
[Conway] Any last words, Big Mama?
442
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:01,371
Yeah, they rhyme with go fu--
443
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,415
[Archer screams]
444
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,797
[screams]
445
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,132
You have got to be kidding me!
446
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,717
[chuckles] Oh, how you like that,
447
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,803
-Daniel Day-loser?
-Ow!
448
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,056
As in My Left Foot.
Yeah, yeah, that’s pretty good.
449
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,477
[people screaming]
450
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,146
[weakly] Ah, just like we planned.
451
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,690
[crying]
452
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,903
But you haven’t seen
the last of Conway Stern!
453
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,154
Ow.
454
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,699
Which, is it my real name?
455
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,409
I’ll never tell you!
456
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,411
Oh, my God!
457
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,580
This hurts so much more
than losing a hand.
458
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:48,836
[inhales deeply]
459
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,171
Good news!
460
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,631
Dear God.
461
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:56,260
Old, way better Cheryl is so back.
462
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,345
From where,
a truck-stop bacchanalia?
463
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:01,306
Uh, sure, let’s go with that.
464
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,268
And where the hell have you been?
465
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,937
Uh, this new place
called "almost dying."
466
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,188
Hardly.
467
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:12,359
You! You’ve ruined
my entire operation!
468
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:14,653
Oh, go stuff a sock in it!
469
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:18,240
Swear to Christ, I have to do
everything around here.
470
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,992
Now clean this up!
471
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,920
Hey. Where the hell’s Cyril?
472
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,008
Hello?
473
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,553
Oh, for the love of...
474
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:41,263
You forgot one!
475
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,348
Sorry, Mother. Mission-focused.
476
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,434
Your words. Can’t go back.
477
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,311
Christ, Archer, did you leave him
478
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,188
just to get your parking space back?
479
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:52,608
No.
32309
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof