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1
00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,295
[breathing in space suit]
2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,341
[Lana]
So, again, I just want it on record,
3
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,844
I'm 100% against this.
4
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:13,471
[Pam]
Aw, you're 100% against everything cool!
5
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,348
[Lana] No, I'm not. Shut up.
6
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,976
-Like what?
-[Pam] Um, Ranch Tub?
7
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,812
-[Krieger] Come on, man.
-[Cheryl] Everybody was against Ranch Tub!
8
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,606
Seriously, Pam,
quit trying to make Ranch Tub happen.
9
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,817
[Malory]
Do I even want to know what that is?
10
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,861
Only if you never want to eat ranch again.
11
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,779
-[Malory] I meant "ranch."
-[Lana] What?
12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,489
-[Malory] That's a food?
-[Lana] It's not important!
13
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:32,574
I wouldn't go that far.
14
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:33,658
-Can we please--
-Cyril, shut up.
15
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:34,743
[Lana] Seriously. Come on.
16
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,411
If we're gonna do this,
let's do it already.
17
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:37,829
We're sitting ducks
with you two out there.
18
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,373
-Well, whose fault is that?
-[Lana] What? Yours!
19
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,459
You made us stop on the way to Earth
for the damn thing.
20
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:46,671
Exactly. And everybody remember that
when it's time to divvy it up.
21
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,423
[Malory] Do you think it's worth anything?
22
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:49,632
Hmm, hard to say.
23
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,680
-I've never seen anything like it.
-So you just jam it with my new pen?
24
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:58,600
-This is new, this pen right here?
-Yes, as a matter--
25
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,018
Ugh. You know--
26
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,936
[Cheryl] Ooh, maybe it's ambergris.
27
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:05,607
-How could it be ambergris?
-[Cheryl] If a whale puked it up, duh.
28
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:06,858
Oh, a space whale?
29
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,860
[Cheryl]
I don't know all the types of whale!
30
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:12,739
-And yet somehow you know about ambergri--
-[Pam] Oh, maybe it's mithril!
31
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:14,699
-[Malory] Is that some other food?
-No!
32
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,243
-And it's not mithril!
-[Pam] Just checking.
33
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,371
[Lana] Whatever the hell it is,
just box it up and let's go already!
34
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,040
All right! Jesus!
35
00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:25,210
-So, what do you think, Cyril?
-[sighs] About what?
36
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,921
Is it firm enough to shove in the box?
37
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,548
[chuckles] Nobody?
38
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,343
[Pam] What, like "space phrasing"?
39
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,512
[sighs] No. Never mind.
40
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,892
[theme music playing]
41
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:17,178
[Geiger counter crackling]
42
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:21,975
And radiation levels are... normal,
across the spectrum.
43
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:24,936
[Lana] Well, keep testing.
Radiation's just one danger.
44
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:27,564
That thing could be carrying
deadly bacteria or some kind of virus.
45
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:28,648
First of all--
46
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,567
Bacteria and virus are the same thing,
dummy.
47
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,985
-No, they're not.
-Shut up.
48
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,486
-Krieger?
-They are not.
49
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:37,323
-Oh. Well, what am I thinking of?
-[Malory] Space whores, presumably.
50
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:40,451
-Well, right, then I was, but--
-Hey, nobody gets out of there
51
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,495
until I'm sure that thing's
not a hazard to the ship,
52
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,164
so the longer you dick around,
53
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,957
the longer you're gonna stay
in quarantine.
54
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,333
-Any questions?
-[doors open]
55
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,377
-[all] What?
-[Pam] Are you doinks done yet?
56
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,462
'Cause I wanna check that crazy thing out.
57
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,797
-Pam!
-What?
58
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,008
You just broke quarantine, dumbass.
59
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:58,386
So if there's anything deadly on it,
now the entire ship's infected.
60
00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,430
[Krieger]
Yeah, but you wouldn't have been.
61
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,223
-What?
-Helmet, genius.
62
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,975
[sighs] Goddamn it.
63
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:05,810
[warbling]
64
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,645
I'm gonna call him Cubert!
65
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,733
[Krieger] Okay, that was the last test.
66
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,776
And I can confidently say
67
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:17,238
that the object poses no nuclear,
chemical, or biological threat
68
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,406
to the ship or crew.
69
00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:20,992
[sighs] Not that we could've done
anything about it if it did,
70
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,076
thanks to Pam.
71
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,244
You are welcome.
72
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,621
Hey, can we take a second?
73
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:29,208
Isn't it crazy that that little scanner
can do all those wildly different tests?
74
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,086
-I mean, come on.
-Yeah, pretty great.
75
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,006
Yes, hooray for everything.
Now, what's it worth?
76
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:38,051
Well, that I can't say. I don't even know
what elements it's made of.
77
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,261
[chuckles]
Assuming they're even known to us.
78
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,431
-I'll have to do many more tests to--
-Ooh! Here's a test.
79
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,266
Cut the damn thing open and-- [gasps]
80
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,559
-[Krieger] Whoa, hey!
-[Pam] Cool!
81
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,770
Holy shit! It's magnetic!
82
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:52,315
No, I don't think so. There's metal
all over the place in here, so--
83
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,567
-Oh, my God! Our fillings!
-[Archer scoffs]
84
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,277
-What are you talking about?
-Ugh.
85
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,987
A: fillings are nonferrous, so--
86
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,989
[muffled shouting]
87
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,410
-So--
-[muffled shouting]
88
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,496
So even if it were magnetic--
89
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,498
It's not gonna eat your damn fillings.
90
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:14,754
[muffled muttering]
91
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,464
But I don't think it is a magnet.
92
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,174
See?
93
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,760
-Well, then how...
-Okay, um--
94
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:22,428
Pick up another scalpel.
95
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,430
And?
96
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,432
Huh. Well, I had a theory--
97
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,643
[muttering mockingly]
98
00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,520
Damn it, woman, if you don't--
99
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,938
-Ah!
-[Lana] Oh, shit.
100
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,022
[Krieger clears throat]
101
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,358
-...that it was reacting to a weapon.
-[gasps]
102
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,278
Then let's kill it! Kill it!
Kill it before--
103
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,404
-[screams]
-[Lana] Whoa!
104
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,780
-Oh, shit.
-Uh...
105
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,115
[Krieger] Hmm.
106
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:44,033
-Or maybe just aggression.
-What?
107
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,119
Come on,
you're saying it can read our emotions?
108
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:49,247
-I'm not saying anything... yet.
-[Cheryl thudding]
109
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,125
-How about now?
-Oh, no, sorry.
110
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,877
Need to do a whole big series of tests
before I can--
111
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,882
Huh. Still interrupting.
112
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:00,967
Typical.
113
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,845
But we should probably... uh...
114
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:06,222
Carol, come on. Let's get out of there.
115
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,598
[grunting]
116
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:08,683
Wow. That's--
117
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,768
[straining]
118
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,770
-Look, somebody give me a hand here.
-I can help.
119
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,731
-Somebody strong.
-[sighs]
120
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,316
-Ready?
-[both straining]
121
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,945
[panting]
I mean-- I mean, that's crazy, right?
122
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,032
All right! Jesus! I'm doing it!
123
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,159
-Okay, Pam, you're up.
-Mm-kay.
124
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,453
One, two, three, go.
125
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,246
[all straining]
126
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,372
Son of a--
127
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,458
-Go!
-[all straining]
128
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,462
[panting]
129
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:41,090
-I just thought of something.
-Oh, my God. If you say "Ranch Tub"...
130
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:45,386
No, shut up.
Look, I can bench, like, 500 kilos, so...
131
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,473
-I can keep pulling on her, but--
-Eventually something's gotta give.
132
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:51,100
Like her birdy little neck bones.
133
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:55,146
Because whatever this thing is,
I mean, it's obviously supernatural.
134
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,898
Well, since when is it supernatural?
135
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,483
-Well, it's not a magnet.
-Oh, come on!
136
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:02,570
So those are our only two options,
ghosts or magnets?
137
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,113
[Cheryl banging]
138
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,364
-I mean--
-Oh, come on!
139
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,367
This is just some bullshit of yours
to put off going back to Earth!
140
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,869
[scoffs] Wh-- What?
141
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:14,499
So-- So what, Lana, I conjured up
some kind of... telepathic ghost cube?
142
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:17,126
I didn't say you conjured it up, dickwrap.
143
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,628
I said that--
144
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,924
-Huh.
-[sighs]
145
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,842
Well, I hope you're all--
146
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,177
-[warbling]
-[body thuds]
147
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,512
Jeezy Petes.
148
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,596
...happy.
149
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,640
-Is she breathing?
-No.
150
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,892
-So, she's--
-I mean...
151
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,853
Oh! If only we had access
to some sort of device
152
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,271
which could tell us!
153
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,982
-Krieger!
-What's that?
154
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,360
Oh, right, the scanner! Doi.
155
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,445
Hang on, let me reset it for--
156
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,864
-[gasps]
-[all exclaim]
157
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,366
Are you okay?
158
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,368
[coughing] I think so.
159
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:54,914
-What was it like? What did you see?
-I don't know, it-- I can't explain it.
160
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,833
-[gasps] Oh, my God!
-What?
161
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,417
-I just remembered.
-Remembered what?
162
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,294
I don't even have fillings!
163
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,755
[laughs]
164
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,841
[warbling]
165
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:17,019
[Pam] So that whole time you're in there,
you didn't see anything?
166
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,939
[muffled]
No, I mean, it's hard to explain.
167
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:22,650
It was kind of like I was nothing...
168
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:23,943
and everything?
169
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,111
If that makes any sense.
170
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,947
About as much as what normally
comes out of your mouth.
171
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,657
And speaking of your mouth...
172
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,244
-What about it?
-You're really packing it away there.
173
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:35,288
Um, I'm hungry. Sue me.
174
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,708
I will if it turns out you ate all
the priceless filling out of that cube.
175
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:39,834
Oh, my God.
176
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:42,753
-[muffled muttering]
-What?
177
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,922
[agitated muttering]
178
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,007
Ugh. Pointless.
179
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,927
-You really think it's worth something?
-It's gotta be. I mean, to somebody.
180
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,971
[Krieger] And whom might that somebody be?
181
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,724
Well, obviously we need
to do some market research,
182
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,392
-but it's--
-It's gone.
183
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,478
-[all] What? Gone?
-[Cheryl choking]
184
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:00,646
What are you doing?
185
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,066
What's the matter?
Hey, the food ain't that bad, baby.
186
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,986
[coughing, retching]
187
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:08,738
What's wrong? Are you choking?
188
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:09,906
Typical.
189
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,324
[Cyril] W-W-What's the matter?
190
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,533
This is serious.
191
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,702
-Get a spoon in her!
-[Pam laughs] Space phrasing!
192
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,037
[clears throat] No.
193
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,747
Plus, that's a collectible!
194
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,582
[coughing]
195
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,834
-Get that spoon in her!
-I'm trying!
196
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,336
[retching]
197
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,421
[guttural howling]
198
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:29,800
-[coughs]
-[Cyril] Oh, God!
199
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:30,885
-[Malory] Ugh!
-[Krieger] Gross.
200
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:33,221
What the shit with the spoon?
201
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,305
-I--
-We thought you were--
202
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:37,391
What, "She's choking, so let's shove
a goddamn spoon down her throat"?
203
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,227
-Yeah, Cyril.
-Hey! You know what?
204
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,645
I know the stupid cube is gone.
205
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:41,729
[all] Yeah.
206
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,106
-Yeah, what happened?
-Yeah, what the shit, Krieger?
207
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,443
It was right here on--
well, six inches above the table.
208
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,112
I needed some more sterilizing wipes,
so I--
209
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,989
Why would you need sterilizing wipes?
210
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,242
-I...
-Oh, Krieger, buddy.
211
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,494
Please tell me you didn't try
to have sex with the ghost cube.
212
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,870
-Krieger!
-That's nasty, Krieger!
213
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,998
-No! Of course I didn't!
-We can check the security footage.
214
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,210
-There isn't any. The camera was off.
-Oh, how convenient.
215
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,880
-I did not have sex with the cube!
-Because, first of all, with what?
216
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,632
Oh, okay. Okay.
217
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,968
You wanna make
your stupid little Ken Doll jokes?
218
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,553
Would they be warranted?
219
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,679
-I--
-Focus, people.
220
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:17,181
There's a million credits' worth
of ghost cube missing.
221
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,225
[chuckles] What happened, Ken?
222
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,686
[sighs] As I was saying...
223
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,563
I needed more sterilizing wipes...
224
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,023
I need more sterilizing wipes. [scatting]
225
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,525
So, I walked out the door,
226
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:31,529
and after it closed behind me, I keyed in
the alphanumeric code to lock it.
227
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:36,242
[keypad beeping]
228
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:40,246
I walked down to the supply room,
got the wipes, and walked back.
229
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:43,541
I keyed in the code
to unlock the aforementioned door...
230
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:48,421
[keypad beeping]
231
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:49,797
[door opens]
232
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,007
I walked in.
233
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,091
What the--
234
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,093
The cube was gone. So...
235
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,345
Obviously one of you took it.
236
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,763
-No, we did not!
-That's bullshit!
237
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,724
Nobody took your new girlfriend.
238
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,184
Yeah, plus,
we were all together in the mess, so--
239
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,521
-So how did it leave a locked room?
-Plenty of ways.
240
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:06,897
Here, hold this.
241
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,193
All right, let's go find that thing.
242
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:14,739
And let's all split up.
We can cover a lot more ground that way.
243
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:18,576
So, individually,
go bumbling around this big ol' spaceship
244
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:19,702
looking for a ghost.
245
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,912
To bumble or not is up to you,
246
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,539
but whoever finds it...
247
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:24,874
gets to keep it!
248
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,709
-Wait, what?
-[Malory] Findies keepies!
249
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,128
-Wait a minute, what?
-[Cheryl laughing] "Findies keepies."
250
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,382
-[Cyril] Out of my way!
-[Cheryl] No, no, no! Get out of my way!
251
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,051
-Get out!
-[all groaning]
252
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,636
And bumble it is.
253
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,055
-[Lana] Get out of my way, meathead.
-[Archer] I saw it first!
254
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,431
-[all groan]
-Wait a minute!
255
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,975
Now, look, before you all
go running off half-cocked--
256
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,895
Krieger, we don't have time to pile on you
with a bunch of no-dick jokes.
257
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,438
I knew it right when I said it.
258
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:49,190
-[Lana] I call bridge!
-[Cyril] Well, I'm coming with you!
259
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,691
-[Lana] No, you're not!
-Uh... Well, then--
260
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,903
-I-I get the crew quarters!
-You better not go in my boudoir!
261
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,321
Okay, I call dibs on the--
262
00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:57,156
-[screams]
-[Pam] Dibs on them ribs, sucka!
263
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,575
Holy shit! That really hurt!
264
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,410
Well, if you think that hurt...
265
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,789
[laughs hysterically]
266
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,332
That's disconcerting.
267
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,625
Yeah, ya think?
268
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,710
Yes.
269
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,296
[Ray] I said no, goddamn it!
270
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:13,381
[Cyril groaning]
271
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,465
-Get out!
-[Cyril] Hey!
272
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,134
I won't have you manhandling
my beautiful things!
273
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:20,429
-Well, how do I know it's not in there?
-Because we said so.
274
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,514
Who's "we"?
275
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,975
[scoffs] Is that supposed to be funny?
276
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,562
-[gun zaps]
-[Cyril wailing]
277
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,689
[laughs] Hope it was his dick.
278
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,608
-[Cyril] Right in the foot!
-Eh.
279
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,736
-[Lana] Any luck?
-No, Lana.
280
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,364
And this is my area, so...
281
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,032
So...
282
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,702
[chuckles]
So-- So, talk about space whores, huh?
283
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:44,870
-Excuse me?
-I--
284
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,038
Um...
285
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,874
Uh, nothing. Uh, ne-- never mind.
286
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,709
I'll never your mind.
287
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,044
Um, airball.
288
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,130
[Lana] I'll... air your balls.
289
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,923
[chuckles] Ye-- Yeah. You will.
290
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,007
[Lana] Goddamn it!
291
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,218
[sighs]
Holy shit, I think I'm seeing things.
292
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,137
I maybe need to get some sleep, huh?
293
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,639
[chuckles] Or at least my balls aired out.
294
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,224
Yeah, right?
295
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,308
-[screams]
-[man] Hey!
296
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,227
-Who the hell are you, man?
-[man] What are you--
297
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,312
I'm TV's Michael Gray!
298
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,897
TV's Michael Gray who?
299
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:16,735
[Michael] Uh, TV's Michael Gray
says quit being a dick and open the door?
300
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:19,029
Seriously, quit being a dick.
301
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,157
Okay, um... Hang on.
302
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,534
Okay, on three. Ready?
303
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:26,412
-[Michael] Can we not do it on one?
-Shut up! Okay.
304
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,496
One...
305
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,581
two!
306
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,919
[gulps] Disconcerting.
307
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,299
[whispering] Michael?
308
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,593
TV's Michael Gray?
309
00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,303
Mikey-Mike, where are you?
310
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:45,973
-[Pam] Who the hell's Mikey-Mike?
-Exactly, that's what I'm-- [screams]
311
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,809
'Cause you think he'd like some of this?
[grunting]
312
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,730
What? No! Stop that!
Wha-- What are you doing?
313
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,857
[munching]
314
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,901
[muffled] I'm hungry! Sue me.
315
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:01,238
And then get up to the bridge.
Her Lanaship has some big announcement.
316
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:04,992
-Whoa, what, did somebody find it?
-[burps] Find what?
317
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,161
What cube?
318
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:11,040
Mother, I am extremely not in the mood,
so, seriously, where is it?
319
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,502
You mean like an ice cube
or something in a Rubik--
320
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,754
-Quit dicking around already!
-Hey, whoa!
321
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:20,382
I'm talking about the mysterious
and possibly haunted ghost cube
322
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,176
that Carol got her head stuck in.
323
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:23,636
I think I'd remember that.
324
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:27,598
And I'd be the first one to believe
she got her head stuck in something.
325
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:30,518
-Thank you.
-But you are just sounding insane.
326
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,269
You sound insane!
327
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:35,773
All of you! Oh, oh!
And I all know what you're trying to do.
328
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,775
You wanna...
329
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:40,194
maybe walk us through that?
330
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:41,529
[chuckles] Oh, my God!
331
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:45,324
I know somebody found the cube
and that it's findies keepies.
332
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:46,784
You mean "finders keepers."
333
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,953
But don't stand there and lie to me.
334
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,205
-Nobody's--
-Plus, you dressing like a whore?
335
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,289
Excuse me?
336
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,208
And how is Cyril's foot okay?
337
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,502
-Uh, what, now?
-You got shot in the foot, asshole!
338
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:59,380
And, oh, my God, TV's Michael Gray?
339
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:00,798
-TV's Michael who?
-Huh?
340
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:04,051
All right. I don't know
if you got in the meds locker
341
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:07,888
or if this is just the onset
of tertiary syphilis, but--
342
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,308
-He better not have syphilis.
-Why had he better not have syphilis?
343
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,393
I-- Wh--
344
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,144
Because syphilis is bad, dude.
345
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,896
-Listen to me, goddamn it!
-[glass shatters]
346
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:16,981
-Whoa!
-Easy!
347
00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:18,065
Whoa, whoa, man!
348
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,109
And speaking of meds,
349
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:23,737
don't you think you could use
a bit of a... relaxer?
350
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,698
-No!
-Oh, now.
351
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:28,576
Krieger, don't you have something
to take the edge off?
352
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,035
As a matter of fact...
353
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:33,080
You and your pills keep away from me,
you-- you dickless fish!
354
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,206
-[gun clicks]
-Wha--
355
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,166
-[Ray] He's got a gun!
-Sterling!
356
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,419
Sterling, look at me.
357
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,212
Now, I don't know what's wrong,
358
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,883
but I promise you,
whatever it is, we'll fix it.
359
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,676
But first you have to trust us.
360
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,970
-Oh, no.
-Suit yourself. Krieger?
361
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,805
-[Krieger] Yep, yep, yep!
-No, no, no, no--
362
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,015
[groans]
363
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,017
Oh. Ye--
364
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,060
-You dick.
-[gunshot]
365
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,145
-Whoa!
-Jesus!
366
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,479
[Cyril wailing]
367
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,606
[chuckles weakly]
368
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,399
[body thuds]
369
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:03,110
[sighs] All right.
370
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,987
Krieger, take him down to the med lab
371
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,740
and try to find out
what in the hell's the matter with him.
372
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,658
[whining] Him? What about me?
373
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,368
We know what's wrong with you.
374
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,870
Yeah. Foot hole.
375
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,206
-[Malory] Well?
-[Krieger] Well, it's really kinda weird.
376
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,791
[Lana] Uh, no shit.
377
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,960
[Krieger] The scanner shows normal vitals
378
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,255
and doesn't show anything physically
or neurologically unusual.
379
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,049
No drugs in his system
380
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,843
and just what I assume
is a therapeutic level of bourbon.
381
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,386
[Lana] And...
382
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,512
no syphilis?
383
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,765
No venereal disease of any kind.
384
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,350
[softly] Or judgment, by the way.
385
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,643
-Don't care.
-Eh.
386
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,978
How does that thing know all that?
387
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,396
I know! Pretty great.
388
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,732
All right. Keep scanning or whatever,
389
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,818
and keep him down here
until you find out what's wrong with him.
390
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,029
-[ice cubes rattle]
-My therapeutic levels are low.
391
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,323
And I could actually use
some sterilizing wipes.
392
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:50,407
I'll bet.
393
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,076
-Keep an eye on him?
-Mm-hmm.
394
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,996
[keypad beeping]
395
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,915
-Uh... hello?
-[lock clicks]
396
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,709
Is there a reason
you locked the door from the outside?
397
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,504
Krieger? Hello?
398
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,464
Ugh. Super.
399
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:06,840
-Is it?
-[exclaims]
400
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:10,344
Jesus Christ, Archer! What are you doing?
You scared the shit out of me!
401
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:11,428
Oh, I'm sorry.
402
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:15,683
Well, what'd ya expect, nerfnuts?
It's alcohol. It's gonna hurt.
403
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:19,269
-Well, if you think that hurt--
-Yes! Yes, I do think it hurt!
404
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,271
[Malory] You'd better not be wasting that.
405
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,525
Um, guess it kind of depends
on how you mean.
406
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:27,861
I mean, we've really only got
two options here, Lana.
407
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:31,240
One is that this is all some sort of ruse,
408
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,534
and the other is that I'm crazy.
409
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,953
You're kind of acting crazy.
410
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,788
I don't think I'm acting crazy.
411
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,290
That's kind of one of the symptoms.
412
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,668
Ah, the old catch-21.
413
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:46,296
[Lana chuckles nervously]
Twenty-one, 22, whatever it takes.
414
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,381
-[hair rips]
-Ow!
415
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,465
Shit!
416
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,759
Jesus Christ, you are crazy!
417
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,928
Yeah? Would a crazy person do this?
418
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,014
-[Lana] No, no, no, no, wait!
-[roars]
419
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,099
[weakly] Yes.
420
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,101
[static crackling]
421
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,602
-[Archer roars]
-[Lana grunts]
422
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:02,438
-[roars]
-[grunts]
423
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,526
[groaning]
424
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,361
[scatting]
425
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:13,365
[keypad beeping]
426
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,034
-[Lana] No, no, no!
-Hey, what the--
427
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,036
-[muffled screaming]
-[gasps]
428
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,328
[alarm blaring]
429
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,122
[female computer voice]
Emergency. Med lab.
430
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,206
What emergency?
431
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,334
Well, it has been almost a minute
since Archer got some attention.
432
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,878
You're just a mess.
433
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:27,212
Holy shit! Look!
434
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,007
[Malory] Oh, my God! Come on!
435
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,968
-Come on, come on, come on, come on!
-[chirps]
436
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,428
-Argh!
-[keypad beeping]
437
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,096
-[Archer grunting]
-[muffled screaming]
438
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,684
-Come on, come on, come on!
-[chirps]
439
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,353
-Why the hell is it so long?
-Space phrasing.
440
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,855
-That's just how it comes!
-Twofer.
441
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:46,940
Oh, my God, just reset it, Dr. Science!
442
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,234
[shouting] Will you shut up?
443
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,780
If I mess up,
I have to start all over again!
444
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,364
[Archer grunts]
445
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,783
Sterling, stop!
446
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,034
[echoing] Did you hear me?
447
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,119
-[static crackling]
-Stop it this instant!
448
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,204
What are you doing?
449
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:01,789
-[both grunting]
-[Archer roars]
450
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,124
-My frickin' tit!
-[body thuds]
451
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,292
[muffled muttering]
452
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:06,376
Sterling! [yelps]
453
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,170
A Tennessee titty twister?
454
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,630
-[grunts]
-[all] Whoa!
455
00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:12,549
Well, how do ya like these titties?
456
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:17,012
[Malory panting] Lana, are you all right?
457
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,264
I... [groans]
458
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:20,933
-I think so.
-[Cheryl] Ugh.
459
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,143
-My magazine's not.
-Shut up.
460
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,354
And, Pam, Gillette?
461
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,273
-Throw his ass in the brig!
-[doors close]
462
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,818
[shouting] Yeah, well...
463
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:33,028
I guess we'll see about that!
464
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,613
Huh?
465
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,782
Pfff. The brig.
466
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:38,325
Like, where do they get off?
467
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,536
They're the ones running around
changing clothes
468
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,579
and shooting people in the neck with darts
469
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,666
and eating... perfectly good magazines.
470
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:48,710
You know?
I mean, that's crazy. I mean, right?
471
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,880
-Yes, sir.
-Yeah.
472
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,841
Thank you. Mmm.
473
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:55,717
God, that's good.
474
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,387
Wait, are...
475
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,639
Are-- Are you supposed to be here?
476
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,268
No, sir.
477
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:07,855
Huh. Now, that's disconcerting.
478
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,273
Yes, sir.
479
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,654
[theme music playing]
480
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:46,018
Made in Georgia.
33173
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