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1
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:06,965
[Lana] Ugh. I'm tired of being out here.
2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,050
I wanna go home.
3
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,135
Ew, Earth?
4
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,220
In space we can do
whatever the hell we want
5
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,347
with basically no responsibilities.
6
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,559
Kind of my point. Maybe I'm ready
to start having a real life
7
00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:19,561
instead of being stuck here with your ass.
8
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:22,605
Shh! My ass might hear you,
and it's very sensitive.
9
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,065
Of course, you know that.
10
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,275
Not engaging.
11
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,652
I'm just saying,
maybe it's time to hang this all up and--
12
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,780
Ugh!
Is this about your aching uterus again?
13
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,490
Okay, who said anything about--
14
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,617
Well, we haven't talked about
settling down, but--
15
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,494
-Nope.
-Key word "settling."
16
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,706
I'm down with going to Earth.
I could use some fresh faces to bang.
17
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:44,294
And our bar stock is so low,
I may have to resort to... beer.
18
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,213
Has everyone gone crazy?
We're on the final frontier
19
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:51,468
and you want to go back
to doing day jobs and gravity-laden sex?
20
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,845
-Not my first preference.
-I vote with Archer.
21
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:56,306
-Robots don't get a vote.
-I prefer "synthetic human."
22
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,640
[overlapping chatter]
23
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,143
No one gets to vote. I'm the captain.
24
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,394
Co-captain.
25
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:05,190
And as the other co-captain,
I am setting a course for Earth.
26
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:09,194
No! Lana! I will not let you
hyperspace us to Boring-town!
27
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:11,446
[grunting]
28
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,031
-[Lana grunts]
-[Archer] What the-- Ow!
29
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,785
[Pam] Holy spacesnacks!
30
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,620
[Lana] It's a Dri'n battle cruiser.
31
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,916
-And somehow it hasn't noticed us.
-[Cyril] No.
32
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,502
We're too close
for its long-range scanners to pick us up.
33
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,504
Great. Let's just loop around this bad boy
34
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,798
and hyperspace somewhere
that is not Earth.
35
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:33,259
If we can destroy it, we will cripple
pirate activity in this sector.
36
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,511
Who cares?
37
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,806
And collect a 30 million credit bounty
for taking it out.
38
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,516
As I was saying,
39
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:43,853
who cares about combatting space piracy
more than me?
40
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:44,979
Exactly.
41
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:49,025
The very reasonable reward
is just icing on the cake.
42
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,778
-Guys, as captain of this ship...
-Co-captain.
43
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,030
...I am making an executive decision.
44
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,659
-We're taking out that Dri'n bastard.
-Like I already executively decided.
45
00:01:57,742 --> 00:02:00,203
Hands in. "Space cowboys" on three.
46
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,704
One, two...
47
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,835
What the hell are you doing?
48
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,506
[theme music playing]
49
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,293
[Archer] Okay, here's the plan.
50
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,045
After we board the ship,
knock out a couple of Dri'n guards,
51
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:54,048
and then-- you'll love this--
put on their clothes--
52
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,216
Not to be a buzzkill,
53
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,802
but you think there'll really be
a plus-sized pirate onboard?
54
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,804
Ugh! This is a horrible plan.
55
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,014
I'm not finished!
56
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,224
Pam, you'll be our "prisoner."
57
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,143
-Sweet!
-Lucky.
58
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,645
-Still, a horrible plan.
-Let me finish!
59
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,815
We'll infiltrate the ship
disguised as Dri'n guards.
60
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,278
-That's it. That's the whole plan.
-This is not a plan.
61
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,780
This is the plot of several famous films!
62
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,616
Well, why do you think
they're famous, Lana?
63
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:23,411
-We'll need Ray to get us some explosives.
-He's taking a sick day.
64
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:24,746
-We get those?
-Of course he is.
65
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:29,292
It's a miracle we don't crash into the sun
with all you Sick Day Cyrils
66
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,169
and Personal Day Pams.
67
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,671
It is a pretty generous package
if you use it right.
68
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:34,756
Space phrasing.
69
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,591
Well, where am I supposed
to get explosives?
70
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:39,385
"Thermite" be something I can do to help.
71
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,013
Referencing thermite explosives?
72
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:43,097
[all groan]
73
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,975
I did not enjoy that.
Does this thing have an off-switch?
74
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,852
Aw. I have feelings.
75
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,812
Volume control? Anything?
76
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:54,359
Then we'll plant the thermite
all over the ship and hola explosivo.
77
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,778
-I'm confused.
-It's Spanish, Pam.
78
00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:00,281
No! How we'll get the Seamus out of here
without us pinging their scanners.
79
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,866
That's where Cyril and Carol come in.
80
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,661
You two will disable
the radar system on board.
81
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,829
-Whoo-hoo!
-[inhales sharply] Please don't!
82
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,623
I can disable the radar system!
83
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,959
Can you disable yourself?
84
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,961
Beep, bap, boop. Ya burnt.
85
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,005
Why not Krieger? I mean,
he's qualified even if he is a replicant.
86
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,467
Thank you, Lana, but I like to think
I'm more of a Repli-can.
87
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:20,551
[all groan]
88
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,137
No bots. Mother, you stay and run comms.
89
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,390
Stay here? With the liquor?
90
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,225
Well, if you insist.
91
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:30,728
Space cowboys, let's ride!
92
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,898
[Lana] Would you stop trying to make
"space cowboys" stick? It isn't.
93
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,525
Fine, Lana. You stay here
94
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:39,195
and be the world-weary
space saloon/brothel madam.
95
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,571
I wanna be a brothel madam!
96
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,157
Ooh, I-I could be the banker
and wear one of those green visors.
97
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,451
Everybody stop making this stick!
98
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,912
And if anything, I would be co-sheriff.
99
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,123
-That's not a thing.
-The whole thing's not a thing!
100
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,166
[Krieger] Whoa, space cowboys!
101
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,585
-What is it now, Krieger?
-I've got helpful gadgets!
102
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:58,172
Like these voice changers!
The Dri'n tongue is a beast, you know.
103
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:01,092
Fine. But honestly, Krieger,
this is all a little thirsty.
104
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,761
-Like Lana's ovaries.
-Not engaging.
105
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:08,266
Doesn't someone need to be proposing
before you're engaging?
106
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,059
-Not en-- [groans]
-[laughs]
107
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,145
-She totally disarmed your phrase.
-[clicks]
108
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:14,856
So, what's our plan when these
shitty voice changers don't work?
109
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:15,940
[Krieger] I can hear you.
110
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,526
Well, I picked up some phrases
banging a pirate or two.
111
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,528
Here's how to say, "Faster, harder."
112
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:21,863
Because that'll come in handy.
113
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:24,198
[ugly guttural sounds]
114
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,283
Now you try it.
115
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,577
[all grunting]
116
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,787
No, it's more like...
117
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,040
You know the sound you make
after letting out a fart
118
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,541
you've been holding in all day?
119
00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,044
Oh, please.
You've never held in a fart in your life.
120
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,336
Tough but fair.
121
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,048
[Lana] Like now, Pam.
122
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,966
Now would have been a great time
to hold it in.
123
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,470
[Pam grunting in Dri'n]
124
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:49,432
[Archer laughs]
I have-- I have no idea what she said
125
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,934
-but it just sounds funny.
-[metal crashing]
126
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,561
[Lana] Jesus, Cyril! Watch the landing.
127
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,105
-You gotta slide it in there gently.
-[Pam in Dri'n]
128
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,024
[muffled bang]
129
00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,859
You are a terrible pilot!
130
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,111
[Cyril] You put me on a job
that's not my specialty.
131
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,530
-That's bad captaining.
-Co-captaining.
132
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,741
-Oh, now you share the credit?
-Fine.
133
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,786
I should have assigned Cyril
to his specialty of, uh--
134
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,455
What is your specialty again?
Space accounting?
135
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,707
You're putting "space" in front of it
to make it extra silly,
136
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,376
but it's actually really an important part
of running a ship.
137
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,669
[doors open]
138
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,255
[pirates grunting]
139
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,132
That was quick.
140
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:31,390
[speaking Dri'n]
141
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,558
-He's asking--
-[gunfire]
142
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:35,645
[bodies thud]
143
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:42,360
[Pam sighs] He was just asking
where we got these human costumes, but--
144
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,695
Oh, thank God you're here, Cyril.
145
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,990
-You're so quick on the draw.
-My blaster got stuck in its holster!
146
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,867
-I can help with that.
-Stop it!
147
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,994
Unwanted advance in the workplace!
148
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,247
Take it up with the Dri'n pirate HR.
149
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,708
[Lana] Get those uniforms on
and put in your voice changers.
150
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,918
More pirates will be coming.
151
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,586
On my tits. Wha-a-at?
152
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,796
Do you even have tits?
153
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,297
They're retractable.
154
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,052
[sighs] Now, where is that mainframe?
155
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,055
-This ship has zero Feng Shui.
-[door opens]
156
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,140
Whoa.
157
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,810
There's gotta be a switch
to get a laser bridge or something.
158
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:16,894
[clicks]
159
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:20,815
Why people build dangerous ravines
in spaceships is beyond me!
160
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,817
[screaming]
161
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,819
-[thuds]
-[panting]
162
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,946
You gotta warn me next time!
163
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:29,657
We almost-- And that hook is not secure!
164
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,742
How do you even know
the mainframe is on this side?
165
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,912
Oh, I don't.
I just find terror kind of hot, you know?
166
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,247
I do not know!
167
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,125
Not to mention the woman
swinging the man across is totally...
168
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,501
[screaming] ...emasculating!
169
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,836
Shit balls!
170
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:48,134
Guys, remember, place them on
the structural beams for maximum impact.
171
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:51,137
I need more. I'm missing a testicle.
172
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:54,056
-What the hell are you doing?
-What's the big deal? It's thermite.
173
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,058
Throw it anywhere,
it's gonna blow up the ship.
174
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,894
I'm not letting you waste thermite.
175
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,479
Give me the thermite. [grunts]
176
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:01,397
Goddamn it, Archer.
177
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,651
[laughing] Uh-oh. It was an accident.
Yeah, it was flirty horseplay.
178
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,196
-These aren't toys.
-Your boobs?
179
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,406
-Because I beg to differ.
-[grunts] It's stuck.
180
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,575
Krieger, how do you peel off
these thermite charges?
181
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,327
-[Krieger] Oh, no worries there.
-Oh, good.
182
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:17,330
[Krieger] It's a super-polymer!
Can't be removed or disarmed.
183
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:20,458
I thought they would peel off
like air fresheners.
184
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:23,294
They look like air fresheners.
Just take your shirt off then.
185
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,796
I'm not wearing a shirt or bra under this.
186
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:26,881
Oh, I noticed.
187
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,132
We all noticed.
188
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,342
Is it for the pirates?
189
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:32,178
Because they do not make
good husbands, Lana.
190
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,889
I am not trying to get a pirate husband!
191
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,642
This ship has no AC,
and pirate garb isn't exactly--
192
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:38,976
Oh, shit.
193
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,144
[pirates in Dri'n]
What's all this?
194
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,521
[Lana in Dri'n]
Just putting up these--
195
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,897
air fresheners.
196
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,106
[Archer in Dri'n]
Because the prisoners smell worse
197
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,900
than a shithouse rat.
198
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:50,029
-Hey!
-[pirates laughing]
199
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,865
Huh, it actually worked.
200
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,535
Almost like Krieger
knows what he was doing.
201
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,579
I'm sorry, Lana.
He'll never be a space cowboy.
202
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,541
-Now, let's blow up this ship--
-Without blowing my tits off.
203
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,543
Give me one more.
I need to finish my testicle.
204
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,628
-Here.
-Seriously?
205
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,964
Guys, even for me
this is getting childish.
206
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:11,342
[Malory] Don't mention children.
Lana will smear her mascara.
207
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,637
Eavesdropping and lobbing insults
is not running comms.
208
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,305
I knew I should have done the assigning,
209
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,392
because everyone you picked
is spectacularly wrong for the job.
210
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,769
[Cyril]
See, this is what I'm talking about.
211
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:24,480
Why would they put the mainframe
right next door to the mess?
212
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,482
[scoffs]
The heat would be hell on the data core!
213
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,402
What, did you read that
in your spaceship architecture magazine?
214
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,237
You mean Starchitectural Digest?
215
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,155
Yes. Shall we get to work?
216
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,492
Um...
217
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,370
Do you know how to disable a radar system?
218
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,454
[scoffs] No.
219
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,082
Is this another "fear is hot" thing,
or do you really not know?
220
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,542
Because I sure don't.
221
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,002
Ugh, bad captaining!
222
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,170
[Archer laughs] Mission accomplished.
223
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,090
How long should we set the timers for?
224
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,843
[Lana] All right, let's see, uh,
Cyril and Cheryl have to disarm the radar,
225
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,136
we all have to get to the hatch,
226
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,763
and I have to strip this pirate suit off
so the bomb won't blow my tits off.
227
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:58,889
And Archer's baby-maker!
228
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,267
Don't-- Don't say "baby," Pam,
because you know--
229
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:02,476
-[grunts]
-[bomb beeps]
230
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,769
-[groans]
-[Pam] Shit!
231
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,730
You set them off! How much time we got?
232
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:06,981
Shit! Eleven minutes.
233
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:08,941
Jesus! Couldn't you have kicked
a higher number?
234
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:12,445
-[coughs] Or, you know, not at all?
-We gotta run.
235
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,614
Yeah, not much of a runner.
236
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,115
Okay, guys, listen up. We have 11 minutes
237
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,409
to get our asses off this ship
before it explodes.
238
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:19,785
Oh, God. [inhales shakily]
239
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,622
If you find terror hot,
I must be gorgeous to you right now.
240
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,875
-Yeah!
-No, stop! I shouldn't even be here!
241
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,878
I should have been the one kicking back
on the Seamus running comms!
242
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,672
For your information,
I've got my hands full.
243
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,215
[Cyril] Full of what, gin and tonics?
244
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,218
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-[Cyril] We can hear the ice clinking.
245
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,638
-No, that's space static.
-[rapid clinking]
246
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,056
Must be sun spots.
247
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,224
We need you to connect us with Ray.
248
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,476
He's on a sick day!
249
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,770
[Cyril]
We're going to blow up in 11 minutes!
250
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,438
-[Archer] Closer to ten.
-[sighs]
251
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,898
Hold, please.
252
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,232
-[button clicks]
-Ray?
253
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,400
[peaceful music playing]
254
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,194
[Cyril] Ray! Thank God. We need your help.
255
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,739
-Yeah, kind of in the middle of something.
-[Malory] Ray, our surgery pod
256
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,408
is not designed for recreational use.
257
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,370
-This is a medical procedure.
-[Malory] Scented candles?
258
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,539
Is it a crime to want to brighten up
my colonoscopy?
259
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:08,501
-I think not.
-[Malory] You said it wasn't recreational!
260
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,795
Colorectal cancer's serious business!
261
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,047
You should be checked
every ten years after 50.
262
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,590
Ugh, how old are you?
263
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:18,386
[Ray] Or if you have atypical symptoms,
like a change in bowel habits.
264
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:21,555
Speaking of which, we're in the bowels
of an enemy battle cruiser!
265
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:25,726
I'll be wearing my colorectal blue ribbon
that says, "I got tested."
266
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,437
Tomorrow, after my sick day,
which you're interrupting.
267
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,523
[Cheryl] Ugh, we need you
to walk us through disabling
268
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,150
a giant spaceship radar system thingy.
269
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,569
But my crisis vest is on Deck 2!
270
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:38,989
-[Cyril] Ray!
-Fine.
271
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:42,660
Let old Ray just interrupt
his prescribed lifesaving medical test
272
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:46,080
to call up alien battle cruiser schematics
on his sick day.
273
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,041
Don't suppose you have
a ship model number?
274
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,794
[Cyril] We're inside the ship, so no.
And kinda in a hurry!
275
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,504
Do you see a blinking green light?
276
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:55,923
[overlapping beeps]
277
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,007
[Cyril] We're dead.
278
00:11:57,091 --> 00:12:00,094
[sighs] Don't you just crave
its sweet release?
279
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:04,432
Okay, sending you
the disarming protocols... now.
280
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,350
Thanks, Ray. You're a lifesaver, you're--
281
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,477
Goddamn it, Ray!
282
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,271
-Is this a picture of your colon?
-Aww.
283
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:11,355
Sorry!
284
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,816
This wine might be mixing
with my propofol.
285
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,777
-I do see why this is addictive.
-[Cyril] We only have eight minutes!
286
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,946
Don't get your panties in a bunch!
287
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,739
[typing]
288
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,408
Also, do you see any polyps?
289
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,328
Lana, how is it possible
you wanna give all this up for diapers?
290
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,457
I don't know! Maybe because I don't need
to play two-bit space cowboy
291
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,083
just because I'm scared of commitment.
292
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,669
How dare you speak
precisely the truth at me.
293
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,671
Hey, guys! Wait up!
294
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:36,881
You used to be fun.
295
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,842
Now you want to do not-fun stuff
like settling down.
296
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,677
Well, I got news for you, sister.
297
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,387
Don't say that, ever.
298
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,931
Settling is for potato chips.
299
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,016
Oh, God, Archer.
300
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,518
Will you stop treating me
like some baby-crazy cliché
301
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,187
of maternal desire? [gasps]
302
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,938
[cats meowing]
303
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,484
Aww, look at them!
304
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,194
Oh, come on, Lana.
305
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,738
[gasps] Space ocelots!
306
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,573
Actually, they're called "grimalkians."
307
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,033
Shut your mouth, Pam!
308
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,702
That is a goddamn space ocelot!
309
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:10,372
-Ow! Son of a bitch.
-[laughs]
310
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,624
You're a real natural.
311
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:12,917
I've seen these before.
312
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,253
A shithead ex of mine had one as a pet.
I think they're endangered.
313
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:19,340
No doubt the Dri'n stole them
to sell their fur to illegal traders.
314
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:22,468
Yeah, this ex was an illegal trader,
so that all tracks.
315
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:26,096
Shit, we've only got seven minutes
to get off this death star--
316
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,098
lowercase "D," lowercase "S"--
317
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:31,477
and back to the Seamus
before we explode in a million pieces!
318
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,396
No! We can't blow up the ship
with them onboard. They'll go extinct!
319
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,107
I'll watch anything
that asshole loved burn.
320
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,193
[baby talk]
Just look how adorable they are.
321
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,402
-[crunches]
-Ow!
322
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,487
[Archer laughs]
323
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:44,615
Guys, look at this! They love me!
324
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,200
It's like I'm their king!
325
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,368
[siren blaring]
326
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,537
[pirates grunting]
327
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,621
[Lana] Uh, Cyril?
328
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:51,914
Cheryl? Did you guys--
329
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,917
...fail spectacularly
at the one task you were given?
330
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,546
[Cyril] You said turn off the radar.
You didn't say anything about an alarm!
331
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,714
It was clearly implied!
332
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:03,717
[baby talk]
Yes, it was, wasn't it? Yes, it was.
333
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,930
[alarm blaring]
334
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,348
[pirates speaking Dri'n]
335
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,310
[Cyril] All clear. No intruders in here.
Oh, shit, is that English?
336
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,271
[Cheryl]
He's the intruder you're looking for!
337
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,897
Aw, balls! Mine's broken too!
338
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,857
-[pirates grunting]
-[gunfire]
339
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,734
[Cyril] Hey, screw you for that.
340
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,528
[Cheryl] Girl's gotta self-preserve, dude.
341
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,740
[Lana] Okay, so now we need
to rescue Cyril and Cheryl--
342
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,535
Yeah, that's great,
but we have another rescue first.
343
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,120
-What?
-The space ocelots, Pam!
344
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,414
We've got... six minutes,
345
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,665
so let's start with the...
346
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,167
[baby talk] ...widdle baby furballs!
347
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,377
-[crunches]
-Oh, motherf--
348
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,296
...is not what you should be,
349
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,840
because these things do not like you.
350
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,800
It is a hilarious twist of fate.
351
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,553
-[grimalkians meowing]
-Holy hell!
352
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,471
Those little twerps are quick!
353
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,557
-Oh, well. Let's get out of here.
-What the--
354
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,142
[meows]
355
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,393
Aww, he likes you.
356
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,978
Um, no, Lana.
357
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,730
He loves me.
358
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,273
This guy is so cool.
359
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:00,983
Here, Lana, get a picture.
360
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,402
Just kick the little shit off
and let's roll!
361
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:04,570
We're buds!
362
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,823
I'm a badass space cowboy,
and he's my deputy!
363
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,452
[baby talk] Don't you wanna jump
on my shoulder and be my widdle deputy?
364
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:13,621
I'm a co-space cowboy.
365
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,540
Wow. Jealousy is an ugly color
on you, Lana.
366
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,919
Something's wrong with this blaster!
367
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,796
-[pirate grunts]
-Have you tried opening your eyes?
368
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,881
[pirate grunts]
369
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,634
Yes! They actually are open! For real!
370
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,179
[both grunt]
371
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,264
Guess that's not a factor anyway.
372
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,018
-[pirate speaking Dri'n]
-[Archer] Where's the fire, brother?
373
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:38,771
Oh, shit. Was that English?
374
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,105
-[gunfire]
-[grunts]
375
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,232
Why'd you even open your big mouth,
Archer?
376
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,484
He was running right by us!
377
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:47,237
I think the better question is,
why do we even have a ship robot
378
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:50,616
if he can't even make
his stupid robot gadgets work?
379
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,078
-We're cut off!
-My circulation is cut off.
380
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,746
The grip on this thing is unreal.
381
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,290
Look at this! He's eating this shit up.
382
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,668
[both grunt]
383
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:01,752
Come on, little buddy.
384
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,755
-Let's go in the fun tunnel.
-[grimalkian meows]
385
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:06,757
-Pam?
-[Pam] Nah.
386
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,218
I don't do tight spaces
I'm not familiar with.
387
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:12,137
Just go, I'll hold them off
and meet you at the dock.
388
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,348
Come and get it, space dicks!
389
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:18,352
-Well, at least it's downhill.
-A little too downhill.
390
00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,355
-Are you sure this is an air vent?
-Of course it's an air vent!
391
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:24,441
[both screaming]
392
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,361
-[pipe rattling]
-[bodies thud]
393
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,030
Ugh, you've gotta be shitting me.
394
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:35,911
Oops. I guess it wasn't an air vent.
395
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,996
[grimalkian meows]
396
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,914
-[gunfire]
-[pirates grunting]
397
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,624
Ah! My blaster jammed!
398
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,960
Blasters don't jam, you lying fleshbag!
399
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,586
You're pathetic! Cover me!
400
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,593
-I thought you had a plan!
-I do! I'm making a necklace.
401
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,680
I will give you one of my teeth.
Just get me off this ship!
402
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,932
No, it's not the same.
It has to be from a kill.
403
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,768
[gasps] Unless that's something
you might be interested in.
404
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,103
Ew, no.
405
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,522
Hey, any chance of getting a rescue here?
406
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,357
[Lana] Yeah... Uh, about that.
407
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,734
Oh, Lana. Thank God.
408
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,318
Archer had us escape
in a stupid air vent that--
409
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,820
Air vent, copy that.
410
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:12,740
-[pipe rattling]
-[bodies thud]
411
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,324
Cyril, let her finish!
412
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:17,703
Oh, God, this is a dead end.
We have two minutes! What do we do?
413
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:21,415
Ugh, you're not gonna wet your uniform
like last time? Not the time or place.
414
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:23,333
Actually, this is a pretty good time
and place.
415
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,919
New plan. We form a human-ocelot ladder...
416
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,588
Ugh, I'd rather just die.
417
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,006
...to get back to the air vent.
418
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:30,841
Stop calling it an air vent!
419
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:31,925
-Fine!
-[gunfire]
420
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,927
-[Pam screaming]
-[Cyril] Pam!
421
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,096
-Thank God!
-You're running the wrong way!
422
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,848
[Pam] Cannonball!
423
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:38,932
[all groan]
424
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,893
[Cyril groans] It's in my mouth!
425
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,478
[pirates grunting]
426
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,651
-This is not good.
-[grimalkian yelps]
427
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,573
Even my little ocelot bud bailed.
428
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:57,159
-I'm calling Krieger for backup.
-No, Lana!
429
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,369
Space cowboys do or die.
430
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,496
He's our only option.
431
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,914
Malory, Krieger.
432
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:02,998
Come in!
433
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,125
-[radio static]
-Come in!
434
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,127
Yes! It's Krieger!
What do you need? I can do it!
435
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,546
[Lana] Get down here, stat.
We need backup immediately.
436
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,006
-Trash compactor.
-I'm on it!
437
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,383
Yes! Needed by real humans.
438
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,095
[pirates grunting]
439
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,304
[Cyril panting]
440
00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,430
[groans]
441
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,307
My God, why did we even bring him?
442
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:23,102
[shouts] This is it, people!
This is the end!
443
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,814
Brace yourselves for obliteration!
444
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,525
[screaming]
445
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,778
-I really like her this way.
-I'm kind of into it myself.
446
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:33,862
Wait! Look!
447
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,950
[grimalkians growling]
448
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,618
[meows]
449
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:42,079
-[pirates grunting in Dri'n]
-[grimalkians hissing]
450
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:45,249
[Archer]
Jesus! They're demons in disguise!
451
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,417
I feel fooled!
452
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,838
-[beams blasting]
-[pirates groaning]
453
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,339
-[Pam] Ugh!
-[Cyril] Oh, my God!
454
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,258
Why does it have to be so gross?
455
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:56,927
-[pipe rattling]
-[thuds]
456
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,137
Stand back, folks.
457
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,805
I've "bot" this!
458
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,682
-[all groan]
-[Archer] And once again,
459
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,768
you and your iron heart
are completely useless.
460
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,354
[grunts]
461
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:10,482
-[grimalkian meows]
-[Archer] There's my pal! Back to normal.
462
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,943
-You can't quit me, can you?
-[grimalkian purrs]
463
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,111
How much time?
464
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,321
-Thirty seconds.
-[Archer] This is gonna be tight.
465
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,241
[Lana] It wouldn't be tight
if you hadn't screwed up the assignments!
466
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,578
Whatever, Lana. Maybe I screwed up
the assignments on purpose
467
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,955
so you'd feel needed and want to stay!
468
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,665
Oh, please. Maybe you're just saying that
469
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,750
as a cool way to cover
screwing up the assignments!
470
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,087
-Oh, go have an Earth baby, why don't you?
-[grimalkians meowing]
471
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,214
But we can't just leave
these space ocelots here.
472
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,883
Grimalkians. And, yes, we can.
473
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,802
Pam, I'm not gonna do this with you!
I'm already too upset.
474
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,888
[Lana] Oh, God, their eyes.
475
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,472
-Even though they hate you?
-Yep.
476
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:43,724
-Even though.
-Fifteen seconds!
477
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:46,768
I think these furry banshees
are just gonna have to stay on board.
478
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,063
[grimalkians whining]
479
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:55,652
[explosions]
480
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,117
[grimalkians meowing]
481
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,870
I meant on board the other ship.
482
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,788
Ugh! Goddamn it to shit!
483
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,707
Can't these bastards
stay in the cargo hold?
484
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,918
[gasps] Mommy's just joking.
485
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:14,713
[whispering] I think we all know
who the fun parent is.
486
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,757
[grimalkian purrs]
487
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,842
[theme music playing]
488
00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:39,613
Made in Georgia.
35622
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