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1
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,505
-[farts]
-[Malory] Oh, for the...
2
00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:07,966
-That's disgusting.
-[chuckles] Me?
3
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,968
You're the one that's covered in farts.
4
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,845
And why couldn't you put on some clothes
5
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:14,681
-before we left the village?
-What, seriously?
6
00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,933
You think I'd be caught dead
dressed like a Nazi?
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,644
Those old cannibal women
had washed and folded
8
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,895
your regular clothes.
9
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,814
Well, it's also hard to go back
10
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,941
after you taste
the freedom of the coconut.
11
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:27,736
-[Pam] Master coconut!
-Nobody gets that!
12
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,112
You know what I don't get?
13
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,780
The fact that you're not really a goddess?
14
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,198
I was gonna say fractions.
15
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,992
I was gonna say fractions.
16
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:36,161
I don't get why she's even with us.
17
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:38,204
-I'm here because--
-Because I say so.
18
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,415
So end of story.
19
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,000
In return for which...
20
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,544
[quietly] I split the idol with you 50/50.
21
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:45,879
I... Wait, no.
22
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,214
I-I'd split it with you 50/50.
23
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,050
-It comes out the same.
-Yeah, but-- What, wait, what?
24
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,052
You, me and the idol makes three.
25
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,596
What do you say?
26
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,182
-Wait, what are they saying?
-[Archer] Nothing.
27
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,142
No, what are you talking about?
28
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,769
-Nothing!
-Okay!
29
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,479
-God!
-There are no gods!
30
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,022
Will you idiots hold it down?
31
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,983
-[creature snarling]
-Mon Dieu!
32
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,485
Jesus, loud much?
33
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,820
Are you trying to attract apex predators?
34
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,614
Oh, please. I just wiped out
35
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:15,408
a literal goddamn boatload
of Nazi stormtroopers.
36
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,994
Doesn't get much more apex than that.
37
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:22,457
[chuckles menacingly]
38
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,417
All right, Mr. Tough Guy.
39
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,044
You don't have to chuckle menacingly.
40
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,378
What? I wasn't.
41
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,006
Holy shit, look! There it is.
42
00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:32,008
[all gasping, muttering]
43
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:36,930
Okay, so, just so we're
all on the same page,
44
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,808
we're walking into an active volcano.
45
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,392
[all mutter agreement]
46
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,478
[Noah] Well, that's where
the idol is, so...
47
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:45,605
I was double-checking, Noah!
48
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,232
[chuckles, sighs]
49
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:49,818
I don't know why you make me so furious.
50
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,070
For me, it's his face.
51
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,241
[theme music playing]
52
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,113
[straining, grunting]
53
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,951
[sighs] Oh, come on.
54
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:41,536
-Put your backs into it.
-[grunts]
55
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:43,746
If I put my back in any more,
56
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,790
it's gonna come gooshin' out my front.
57
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,543
[speaking French] I give up.
58
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,378
-How French.
-You know...
59
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:51,838
So what? We just sit here
60
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:54,048
and wait for a clue from a goddamn thrush?
61
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,676
-[scoffs] Thrushes.
-What are you talking about?
62
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:59,762
Like at the portal of Erebor.
63
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,931
Jesus, dummy, in The Hobbit.
64
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,433
-The what?
-Wait, what? Seriously?
65
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,934
Holy shit, that's right.
66
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,728
He's been on this crummy island
four years,
67
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,313
so he's never heard of The Hobbit.
68
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,689
Which, as we all know,
69
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,942
was published just last year in 1937.
70
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,778
So, what is it? A motion picture or...
71
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,655
-[groans loudly]
-Damn it, bird.
72
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,657
-It's a book.
-It's the book.
73
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,618
It's got dwarves. It's got goblins.
74
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,620
It's got wizards. It's got...
75
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,288
-Hobbits?
-Hobbits!
76
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,415
You guys don't really
strike me as readers,
77
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,459
especially of fantasy.
78
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,877
That's because you're an asshole.
79
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,545
Might I make a suggestion?
80
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,130
I know what you're gonna say, Mother,
81
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:36,716
but even if we had enough people
to act out the book,
82
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,259
we don't have time.
83
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,262
-Yeah, it's long as shit.
-I don't see that as a negative.
84
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,223
I don't know. All those songs.
85
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,974
Well, as stupid as this is,
86
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,102
I was going to suggest
pulling on the door.
87
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,396
Goddamn it!
88
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,360
-Whoa!
-Goddamn.
89
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,612
Lucky guess. Okay, let's see here.
90
00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:00,031
[wings fluttering]
91
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,911
-[screaming]
-Jesus Christ!
92
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:07,288
-Noah!
-Yeah?
93
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:10,208
[chuckles] You're on point, buddy.
94
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,629
[speaking German]
Wonderful!
95
00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:16,089
[speaking English]
Those damn fools are going
96
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,340
to lead me straight to the idol.
97
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:21,052
[sniffs] And themselves straight to hell.
98
00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:22,679
[cackles]
99
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:26,057
[speaking German]
My god, I sound crazy.
100
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,854
[speaking English]
[Noah] Are you crazy?
101
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,690
It's pitch black down there.
102
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,608
Noah, if I have to ask you again,
103
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:38,319
-it's gonna be in the form of a shove.
-But... [grunts]
104
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,989
What the...
105
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:44,909
No, no, no, no, no!
106
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,120
[Archer] Noah, go open the door.
107
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,998
[Noah] How? I can't even see
my hand in front of my face.
108
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,750
[Archer] Well, then I guess
you can't see my fists
109
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,502
swinging around like a goddamn windmill
110
00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,713
-as I walk toward you, so...
-[arms swinging]
111
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,298
-[punch lands]
-[Pam] Ow!
112
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,633
-[Archer] Oh.
-[Pam] Goddamn it!
113
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,719
-[Archer] Did I get you?
-[Pam] What do you think?
114
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,262
-[Ray] Seriously?
-[Krieger] God, moron.
115
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,139
[Archer] Oh, come on.
I was trying to hit Noah.
116
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,473
[Malory] For the love of God, will...
117
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,225
-[Cheryl] There is no-- Ow!
-[punch lands]
118
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,936
[Malory] Now will someone open the door?
119
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,272
[Cheryl] Okay! God!
120
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:16,316
-[footsteps]
-[rock grinds]
121
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,487
[oohing, gasping]
122
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,740
I think the floor did that.
123
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,617
Well, it should make this a lot easier.
124
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,996
What, a floor that when you step
on it random shit happens?
125
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,332
Yeah, so I guess,
everybody, watch your step.
126
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,833
That's it?
127
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,835
Watch your step and shut up?
128
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,587
-Yeah. Thanks.
-Okay. Real mature.
129
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,590
Oh, and I guess try not to bunch up.
130
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:44,510
[speaking French]
131
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,512
Doudou? [gasps]
132
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,056
-What's happening?
-Doudou!
133
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,557
Oh, it's just like the ponies.
134
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,895
[laughs] Oh, man! That's hobbit as balls!
135
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:01,360
[Ray] We must go back.
We cannot just leave Doudou.
136
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,655
[Archer] Well, not to split
hairs, but he left us, so...
137
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,699
-Jesus Christ!
-Oh, no. What?
138
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,868
Noah, what the shit was that?
139
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:13,581
Well, I'm not a volcanologist,
and glad of it, am I right?
140
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:16,250
But the Mua Mua were always
talking about how Tarako
141
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,794
was way overdue to erupt.
142
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,420
-Bad news.
-Great.
143
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,547
Oh, how would a bunch of cannibals know?
144
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,008
-Oral tradition?
-And, you know, technically,
145
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:27,428
-now you're all cannibals, so...
-I had one little kebab.
146
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,305
What were we supposed to do, insult them?
147
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:32,975
-Plus, I was pretty hungry.
-Can we just pick a direction?
148
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:39,607
Well, they're both pretty well lit.
149
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,692
-I say we turn back.
-[speaking French]
150
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,904
-Then go. Nobody's stopping you.
-Fine.
151
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,533
[speaking French]
152
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,121
[sighs]
153
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:56,082
-[speaking French]
-So left?
154
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,792
[overlapping chatter]
155
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,503
Okay, and was it just me,
or when that big rumble happened
156
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,881
was everybody for a second like,
"Oh, my God, Smaug"?
157
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,424
-Yes! Right?
-Who?
158
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,718
-Oh, my God.
-[Krieger] It's like...
159
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,387
[Cheryl] He's got no frame of reference.
160
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,888
[Archer] Smaug, dickhead!
161
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,725
The fire-breathing dragon
who lives under the mountain.
162
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,310
[laughs]
163
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,480
[speaking German]
I will show you a dragon!
164
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,066
[rumbling]
165
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,651
[gulps, chuckles]
166
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,779
[speaking German]
Time for a bit of medicine.
167
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,448
[sniffs, sighs]
168
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,825
[heavy footsteps]
169
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,118
-[rumbling]
-Whoa.
170
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,995
-Goddamn it.
-[gasping]
171
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,956
[speaking English]
So, when you say "way overdue"...
172
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,876
I don't know, ten years? 10,000?
173
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,378
So, either way, probably not great.
174
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,130
[groans] Look.
175
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,882
[Pam] It's a dead end.
176
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,758
Damn it, I said we should go right.
177
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:48,968
No, you didn't.
178
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:52,430
Well? Okay, so let's double back.
179
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,891
No, look, I think there's a door here.
180
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,058
[all] Where?
181
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,060
And some crazy cannibal cartoons.
182
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,437
[gasps] Petroglyphs.
183
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,649
-[gasps] What do they say?
-Um... Uh...
184
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,443
-Noah!
-Okay.
185
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:09,071
It says, "This is the temple
of the fire god Tarako,
186
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,490
guarded by the tupua.
187
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,783
There's a powerful curse,"
188
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:16,621
which the Mua Mua already
told me about, so, uh...
189
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:18,998
[laughs] That's pretty good.
190
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,791
-What?
-What does it say?
191
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,878
Well, it's a pun. It makes
a play on the word for "curse,"
192
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,546
but also the word for "soup,"
193
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,298
but it's more like a stew, I guess.
194
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,966
Like-- Oh.
195
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,136
We don't really have a word
for it in Engl-- Ow!
196
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,888
We do have a word for it! "Stew"!
197
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,556
Does it say how to open the door?
198
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,893
-Yeah, it says push.
-Idiot.
199
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,478
[Krieger] Wait, so...
200
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:44,315
Do we want to talk about
this curse or... What?
201
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,068
[all oohing, gasping]
202
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,696
Well? Where's the damn idol?
203
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:54,242
-Um... Noah?
-I don't kn-- Ow!
204
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,910
Then what the hell good are you?
205
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,870
I got us in the door, didn't I?
206
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,665
I think it's safe to assume
we would've tried pushing on it.
207
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,708
Maybe eventually, but...
208
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,753
No, no, it's got to be here.
Come on, help me look.
209
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,797
-Okay.
-Okay, yeah. All right.
210
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,632
Well, if you find a bar,
211
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,717
I'll take a Mai Tai, hold the fruit juice.
212
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,553
-What the...
-What?
213
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,597
Whoa! Look! Check it out!
214
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,891
-Is it a bar?
-Why would it be a bar?
215
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,184
Why wouldn't it?
216
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,437
This whole place is like
a prehistoric Trader Vic's.
217
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,481
Ooh, I think her totem pole did it.
218
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,942
Actually, totem poles are indige-- Ow!
219
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,403
Holy shit! Pam, sit on that one.
220
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:35,950
Reynaud, sit on yours!
221
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:38,119
Okay, lady whose life I ruined.
222
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,581
Oh, my God, I forgot
about that. [chuckles]
223
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,291
-It's working.
-[Reynaud] Look at that. Voilà!
224
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,126
Noah, Princess, come on, go, go, go!
225
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,633
[Archer] Holy shit. It's a giant emerald.
226
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,386
-[gasping]
-[overlapping exclamations]
227
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:58,347
Wait a minute,
do emeralds glow in the dark?
228
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,725
No, but uranium does.
229
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,059
-What?
-Uranium?
230
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,271
Seriously? I bet uranium's worth
a jillion times more than emeralds.
231
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:08,441
-Sterling, wait!
-What?
232
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,276
It's radioactive.
233
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,153
Oh, of course.
234
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,322
That's what the whole
"death soup" thing was about.
235
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,656
-Goddamn it, Noah.
-Jesus, Noah!
236
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,659
The Mua Mua legend says
anybody who touches the idol
237
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,829
starts puking and shitting blood
and then, melts.
238
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,623
Now you tell us?
239
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,584
-Also, ew.
-Come to think of it,
240
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,836
I don't know how anybody
could've carved it.
241
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,589
Why would those cannibals
let us come all this way
242
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:34,467
to find the damn thing
if they knew it would kill us?
243
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,678
I really can't stress how much
they hate white people.
244
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,847
Even after we ate Nazis together?
245
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,892
Oh, yeah. I bet they're laughing
their well-toned asses off.
246
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:49,190
[hysterical laughter]
247
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,942
Well, then they're not really our friends.
248
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,527
-Wow.
-Had to be said.
249
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,571
Okay, so how do we get it out of here
250
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,198
without shitting ourselves to death?
251
00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:58,991
-We can roll it.
-I don't know.
252
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,534
-Lead!
-Lead?
253
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,787
-So stupid.
-Like when you get an X-ray.
254
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,955
Hey that's right, lead's
a natural radiation shield.
255
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,582
Hey, he's right.
256
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,417
-He's right?
-Yeah, you heard the man.
257
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:09,752
[groans loudly]
258
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,754
So where are we going to find enough lead
259
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,339
in this place to wrap it up?
260
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,632
-[gun cocks]
-What?
261
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,718
Perhaps I can help.
262
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,265
No, thank you.
263
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:30,773
[speaking German]
Suppressing fire!
264
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:31,690
[screams]
265
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,401
[grunts]
266
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,654
[laughs]
267
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:40,157
[in English]
We got company! Late. Stupid.
268
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,201
-[grunts]
-Hey, Fritz!
269
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,370
You got company.
270
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:46,497
[sighs] Goddamn it.
271
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,250
[laughs]
272
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:53,129
You are powerless against über-Fuchs!
273
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,714
So, hey, after we get out of here...
274
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,216
You think we're gonna live through this?
275
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,467
[chuckles] Why wouldn't we?
276
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,681
-Reloading.
-Firing!
277
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,183
What the...
278
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,185
[laughing]
279
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,774
Goddamn it!
280
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,776
It's not often you find a primitive people
281
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,611
who understand the callback.
282
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,739
[gasps] Oh, crap,
I got to rewrite my thesis.
283
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,408
Son of a... [grunts]
284
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,326
[laughs]
285
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,536
[speaking German]
Weaklings.
286
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,872
-[trigger clicking]
-[Pam] Ha-ha!
287
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,665
[speaking English]
How do you like them apples?
288
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,375
[speaking German]
Very good!
289
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,086
How do you like these apples?
290
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,006
-[all gasping]
-Shit!
291
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,967
[in English]
Ow! I don't like those apples at all!
292
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,178
Right? Could things get any worse?
293
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,513
-[rumbling]
-[all gasping]
294
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,182
Maybe I am a goddess.
295
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,517
-Ow!
-[Malory] Thank you!
296
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,895
[speaking German]
What is this?
297
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,063
Holy shit, look!
298
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:59,361
-[all gasping]
-[Pam] Well, shit!
299
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,281
Check it out, lava.
300
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,700
Oh, I wonder if that's
what the petroglyphs meant
301
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:06,285
by "death soup."
302
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,579
Oh, yeah, kind of makes sense.
303
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,289
I mean, if you think ab-- Ow!
304
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,833
Guys, come on. That's dangerous. [gasps]
305
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:18,005
[laughs] Yes, fools, cower before me.
306
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:22,176
Just like the world will cower
before the German Reich
307
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:25,095
-once we have the idol!
-Says who?
308
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,973
Says mein Führer, Adolf Hitler!
309
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,768
The idol is pure uranium!
310
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:33,729
And with it, we will construct
a Wunderwaffe
311
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:36,649
with the power to destroy entire cities!
312
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,734
-Oh, typical.
-Of what?
313
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,277
I don't know, Nazis?
314
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,279
Oh, for the... Will you do something?
315
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,907
Like what, play Dem Bones at him?
316
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,326
Oh, great, now that's stuck in my head.
317
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,786
[both gasp]
318
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,454
-[maniacal laugh]
-[trigger clicking]
319
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,541
[speaking German]
Piece of shit!
320
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,376
[in English]
Look, he's empty, too!
321
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,086
Well, yeah, but...
322
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,587
[panting]
323
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,550
-[gasping]
-[alarmed cries]
324
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,677
He's still a giant robot.
325
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,845
-Seriously?
-Yeah. Look at him.
326
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,472
So, you're not gonna do anything?
327
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,099
Well, I'm no good to us dead.
328
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,643
-What good are you alive?
-[gasps]
329
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,145
[laughs maniacally]
330
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:20,150
[speaking German]
Yes! I have the idol!
331
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:24,154
And the Reich will live for
a thousand years!
332
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,699
[laughs]
333
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,784
[speaking English]
And what do you think you're doing?
334
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,620
I have company.
335
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,831
-Goddamn it!
-Well...
336
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:34,748
[grunts]
337
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,002
-[screams]
-[all gasping, exclaiming]
338
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,712
Pam!
339
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,715
[laughs maniacally] Hyah!
340
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,466
-[Archer screams]
-[others] No!
341
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,427
Sterling!
342
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,139
[steady metallic banging]
343
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,897
[Pam] That was your plan?
344
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,065
-It worked, didn't it?
-I mean...
345
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,483
Get off me, you fool!
346
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,235
-Shut up!
-[grunts]
347
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,155
Somebody do something.
348
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,157
I will go for help!
349
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,619
Merci, asshole!
350
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,912
[Reynaud] Not a problem.
351
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,664
[gasps] Archer, it's too heavy.
352
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,124
I can't hang on!
353
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,084
-[all gasp]
-[Archer] Hang on!
354
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,003
No, that's what I'm saying.
355
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,880
I'm saying it like "give me a second."
356
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,090
-Yeah, I get that, but...
-Jesus Christ,
357
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,051
-will you shut up?
-Nein, nein, nein!
358
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:28,719
What are you doing?
359
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,638
[Archer] Sending you...
360
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,389
Sterling!
361
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,893
-...to hell! [grunts]
-[Fuchs screaming]
362
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:36,894
-Sterling!
-[all gasp]
363
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,399
Oh, for the love of God!
364
00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:45,444
[grunts] This actually weighs the same.
365
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,613
I...realize that, idiot.
366
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,990
Oh, I'm the idiot?
367
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:53,077
-I mean...
-What? Wait. No, no, no.
368
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,037
Archer, no! Hang on.
369
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,789
Oh, hey, princess.
370
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,124
Listen...listen, if we ever meet again...
371
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,377
-Sterling, no!
-Please!
372
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,629
...just remember this.
373
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:06,840
We were this close to banging.
374
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,177
No, we weren't.
375
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,222
Yes, we-- Whoa!
376
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:16,558
-Sterling!
-Archer!
377
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,726
[screaming]
378
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,482
[chuckles]
379
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,484
This close.
380
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,974
[light crackling softly]
381
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,967
[computer beeping]
382
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,187
[clanking, hissing]
383
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:48,001
[light buzzing]
384
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,797
[clicking dry tongue] Ah. Ah, ah.
385
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:56,635
Oh, for the-- Come on, seriously?
386
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,554
What, you couldn't find a snow globe?
387
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,973
[Malory] Oh, quit your bitching.
388
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:04,017
Good morning... Mother!
389
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,145
Shut up.
390
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,022
[theme music playing]
25825
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