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1
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,340
[Pam] Oh, please, get serious.
2
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:08,883
I'm plenty serious!
3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,761
That was the very definition
of a sucker punch!
4
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:15,306
Well, even if it was, which it wasn't,
you would've deserved it!
5
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:18,476
For what, saving your dumb ass
from giant lizards?
6
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,770
Giant lizards I wouldn't
have had to deal with...
7
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:21,938
You call that dealing with?
8
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:24,023
...if you had fixed the goddamn fuel pump!
9
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:28,028
Oh. Okay. So, it's all my fault!
10
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,112
Yes!
11
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,656
Well, still a sucker punch.
12
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,199
-Ow!
-[laughs]
13
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,701
Now, that's a sucker--
14
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,786
Ow! Son of a--
15
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,246
Ow! Goddamn it!
16
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,541
[both grunting]
17
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,668
Hang on! Wait!
18
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,170
-Stop it!
-What?
19
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,296
That!
20
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:47,797
[long, weary sigh]
21
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:49,340
[propellers clunking]
22
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:50,300
Goddamn it.
23
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:55,847
[Archer] What?
24
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,726
And frankly, I really don't see
how this is any of your business.
25
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:02,020
What're you... I own the business!
26
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,814
-I meant--
-And I own that business over there.
27
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,816
And I own zis business!
28
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,777
You don't own the police station!
29
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:09,861
-Yeah.
-Well, I--
30
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:12,614
Shut up. And Mother, I think
we're losing sight of how amazing
31
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,699
that landing would've been if, ya know...
32
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,076
-It worked?
-Right?
33
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:19,788
And if ifs and buts were candy and nuts,
we'd all have a merry Christmas.
34
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:20,789
Aw...
35
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:24,793
And maybe Santa would bring me
a new sixty-thousand dollar seaplane!
36
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,420
Don't be so dramatic,
she's not a total loss,
37
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:28,755
she just needs new wings.
38
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,381
-[coughs] And a fuel pump.
-Woman!
39
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,133
Shipped out here from the States!
40
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:33,760
God knows when.
41
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:37,180
It took three months to get
new tubes for the damn radio.
42
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,808
And God knows how much it'll cost!
43
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:41,434
Well, and the airplane factory.
44
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,102
Presumably. Would know.
45
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,437
You're paying for them.
46
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,980
Well, but you own the business...
47
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,566
Which I will liquidate like a piña colada.
48
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,276
You're paying for them!
49
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,861
-But--
-And in the meantime...
50
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,447
You'd better figure out
how to replace the money
51
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,033
I won't be making on Archer Airways,
52
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,410
or you can just pack your suitcase!
53
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,248
It happens to be a duffel bag!
54
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:04,999
-That's tellin' her.
-Eh.
55
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,502
Now, move zis aeroplane from la rue!
56
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,504
-From what?
-La rue! La rue!
57
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,423
What the hell's larue?
58
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,301
I think it's like, a base for sauces?
59
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,929
Ya know, like, for gravy or whatever?
60
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:30,441
[theme music playing]
61
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:06,352
[Archer grunting]
62
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,563
[Archer] So, I'm thinking new wings
63
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:10,899
for Lucy are gonna cost
about five grand...
64
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,901
[Pam] Which we don't have...
65
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,153
[Archer] And which we can't
make without Lucy.
66
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,654
We gotta fly to make money,
67
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,531
but we gotta have the money to fly, so...
68
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,867
Yeah, that's a real Catch-22.
69
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,328
Uh, I don't think that's a thing yet.
70
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,748
So. Money. Any ideas?
71
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,000
Mmm... Nope.
72
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,501
C'mon, let's just spitball it.
73
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,711
-Nope.
-Pam.
74
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:34,172
-No.
-C'mon, there are no bad ideas.
75
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,257
Oh, well, isn't that a change.
76
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,843
-What is?
-All of a sudden it's anything goes.
77
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,428
-What're you--
-No bad ideas?
78
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:41,930
Oh, Jesus Christ.
79
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,307
Are you talking about...
That was a terrible idea!
80
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,558
No, it wasn't!
81
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,268
We were the laughing stock of the Andes!
82
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,897
-And we lost our asses!
-Okay, yeah, I mean,
83
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,815
maybe it was a little ahead
of its time, but--
84
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,110
-Oh, my God.
-...it was local, it was sustainable--
85
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:59,113
-It was rats!
-It wasn't rats!
86
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,574
[blows raspberry]
87
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,370
[Archer] Dos por uno, dos por uno!
88
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,205
Chinchilladas!
89
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:11,834
El sabor sensación
que está barriendo la nación!
90
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,213
[weary sigh] Goddamn it.
91
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,675
Plus, the fur farms practically gave us
the meat for free.
92
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,677
It's probably free at the glue factory,
93
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,720
it doesn't mean people wanna eat it.
94
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,597
Because it's broken-down old horse meat!
95
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,558
Chinchilla, on the other hand,
is some of the finest fur you can buy!
96
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,644
So is mink, but people don't eat it!
97
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:32,230
-I've eaten mink.
-I do not doubt that.
98
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,358
How was it?
99
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,734
Minky.
100
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,904
[Malory] All right, Miss Priss...
101
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,781
Let's go, let's see the goods.
102
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,200
[Charlotte] Oh, all right, but be nice...
103
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,952
I didn't have much to work with.
104
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,495
You can say that again.
105
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,497
Can't you pad it with something?
106
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,249
-Pad what?
-Your brassiere.
107
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,042
No, I meant my wardrobe!
108
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,836
I packed for a honeymoon, not a...
109
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,797
A descent into profound and lasting shame!
110
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,384
You're still gonna want to pad it.
111
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,179
[Pam] Why not? You heard your mom,
there's obviously a demand.
112
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,725
Because I don't think it's feasible
to build a radio tube factory here.
113
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,643
Yeah, there's probably zoning issues.
114
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,978
That's your number one concern?
115
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:13,146
I haven't ranked them!
116
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,606
Well, mine is rickets,
and scurvy, and scabies,
117
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:19,319
and whatever other bullshit
diseases poor people get.
118
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,906
I wonder if that idol's worth anything.
119
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,366
Wait, what? What idol?
120
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,160
I don't know. In the jungle,
the princess and the kraut
121
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,703
were talking about some kind of idol.
122
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:31,164
-What kind of idol?
-Some kind, I dunno, they didn't--
123
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,457
-Like a native idol?
-They--
124
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:36,294
So that's why that little German sneak
is on the island! Are we talking jade?
125
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,962
Emerald? Ruby?
126
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:39,464
[gasps] Gold?
127
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:40,590
They didn't say!
128
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,467
I bet it's a gold monkey!
129
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,052
No! Not a gold monkey!
130
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,928
-You don't know that!
-Yes, I do!
131
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,555
Not a gold monkey.
132
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:48,848
But it could be gold, though.
133
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:51,434
Yeah, I guess, as long
as it's not monkey-shaped.
134
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:52,727
What're we talking about?
135
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:53,728
Why you're not a dog.
136
00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:55,438
-Shut up, dodos.
-Flightless.
137
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:57,106
-So where is it?
-I don't know!
138
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,775
-Where's what?
-The idol!
139
00:05:58,900 --> 00:05:59,859
Ooh!
140
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,987
But since they had us fly 'em around
over the jungle...
141
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,908
Oh, for... I assume it's in the jungle.
142
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,868
A golden idol somewhere in the jungle.
143
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,286
I bet it's worth millions!
144
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,665
[Fuchs] I think you must
sharpen your pencil.
145
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,043
-Excuse me?
-Sharpen your pencil?
146
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,503
It is idiom?
147
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,589
-This is a fairly common phrase, no?
-No.
148
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:25,009
It means there's a problem
with your arithmetic.
149
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,638
My government will pay
one hundred thousand Reichsmarks
150
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,224
for the idol, und not one pfennig more.
151
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:34,185
Hmm. I wonder how much
Japan would pay...
152
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,978
What does Japan
have to do with this?
153
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,314
Well, I'm sure they'd like to lease
an airfield on the island,
154
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:41,275
if, say, they ever
declared war on America?
155
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,318
Mein Gött.
156
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,528
Are you serious?
157
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,739
The French have subjugated my people
for a hundred years.
158
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,492
I would do literally
anything to be rid of them.
159
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,203
Literally? Or figuratively?
160
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,914
Why? What did you have in mind?
161
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,040
Oh... [chuckles]
162
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:59,460
Well, it is hard to say,
my mind is quite racing,
163
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,420
there are many thoughts in there.
164
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:02,755
Pick one.
165
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:07,009
Perhaps we could pay...
Five hundred thousand?
166
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,179
-Wait, what are you--
-Shh.
167
00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,014
Pretending I'm on the phone.
168
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,641
Hello, Japan?
169
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,518
Hi, yeah. So listen--
170
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,354
All right! One million Reichsmarks!
171
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,858
Payable only once we have
secured the idol.
172
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:24,902
And so far, we have no idea
where to even look for it.
173
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,321
As for that, I found this,
174
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,366
hidden among
my great-grandfather's papers.
175
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:34,036
Fantastiche! So do we have a deal?
176
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,122
If, when the time comes,
177
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,667
Germany helps my people
overthrow the French.
178
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:42,753
[laughs] Ja, I think I can safely promise
179
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,590
that soon you won't have
to worry about France.
180
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:49,260
Then yes, Herr Sebert,
we have a deal.
181
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,553
Wunderbar.
182
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:54,891
Now then, I believe
there was some mention of a pencil?
183
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:59,103
Ja, ich habe eine groBßen Stift...
184
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,646
I'll be the judge of that.
185
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,856
[unzips zipper]
186
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,945
[Archer] Okay, Fuchs is renting
a bungalow on the edge of town,
187
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,198
so I say we break in, snoop around,
188
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,743
and see what we can find out
about this gold non-monkey.
189
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:14,869
So rob him.
190
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,746
Well, technically burgle, but--
191
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,664
Shut up, but yeah. For clues.
192
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,000
Ooh, like, maybe there's a map.
193
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,251
Yes! Like a treasure map!
194
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,629
Yeah, right, with a big X on it,
195
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,672
treasure chest, skull-and-bones...
196
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:30,801
Don't be shitty! And also, why would
the map have pirate shit all over it?
197
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,804
Well, we are in the shipping lane.
198
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:38,518
So, you weren't kidding around
about that pencil?
199
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,145
-That is not a topic for levity.
-Fair enough.
200
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,649
It is interesting, I notice zat,
even in the throes of passion,
201
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,652
you have no trace
of a Polynesian accent.
202
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,196
Well, that's because I was sent away
to boarding school in the States
203
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,448
when I was five,
all the way through college.
204
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,742
Und yet you mention alliance with Japan.
205
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:58,287
I would think your affinity would lie
with the United States.
206
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,624
Right, because that
worked out so well for Hawaii.
207
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:05,628
I always found it ironic that
if you really want to get bent over,
208
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:06,963
just ask a missionary.
209
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,549
[spits and coughs] Fair enough.
210
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:13,010
So why is the German government
so interested in the tupua?
211
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,388
-The...
-Tupua. The idol.
212
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,139
Oh, well, um...
213
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,392
Oh, don't worry about them.
214
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:22,103
In order join the royal guards,
when they're 12 years old
215
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:24,272
they have to agree to have
their tongues cut out, so--
216
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,356
Gött im Himmel!
217
00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,483
[chuckling] That was a joke.
218
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,318
Oh, sorry, I--
219
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,821
[chuckling] Wow, ethnocentric much?
220
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,155
Tu'ua i matou.
221
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,950
So. Tupua.
222
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,410
Germany's interest in.
223
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,079
Yes, well, the Führer...
224
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,956
-The Charlie Chaplin guy.
-Nein!
225
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,708
[clears throat] Nein.
226
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,751
We never, ever say this thing.
227
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,211
-Really?
-Trust me.
228
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:52,008
Anyway, the Führer is,
um, a bit of an anthropology buff.
229
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,468
And so Germany will build a museum.
230
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,179
-Fair enough--
-The most powerful museum in the world!
231
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,392
[clears throat] For children of all ages.
232
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,103
[Archer] Okay, so here's the plan...
233
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,106
We need to keep Fuchs away
from his bungalow for a few hours,
234
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:09,317
so after he finishes eating dinner here--
235
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,027
How do you know he's gonna eat here?
236
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,945
[chuckling] Where else is he gonna eat?
237
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,155
Luigi's?
238
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,033
[Italian theme playing]
239
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,870
[long, sad sigh]
240
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:22,913
I like Luigi's.
241
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,915
Yeah, you're also teeming with mites.
242
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,375
Not teeming.
243
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,629
So, shut up. After dinner,
we need to make sure he stays here...
244
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:30,630
M'kay.
245
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,174
Don't you wanna know how?
246
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,385
-I'd like to know what and why.
-What?
247
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,554
What are you goofs doing here,
248
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,682
and follow up, why are you doing it here?
249
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,768
For your information,
we're working on a plan
250
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:47,188
to earn enough money to pay you,
and to get new wings, so--
251
00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:49,106
It better not be chinchilladas.
252
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,316
-Oh, my God--
-Oh, my God!
253
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,818
-See?
-[laughing] Chinchilladas!
254
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,737
I'd forgotten all about that!
255
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,197
It's not chinchilladas!
256
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,782
[Crackers] Jesus Christ...
257
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,618
Well, whatever it is,
do it somewhere else.
258
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,328
-We can't.
-Why not?
259
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,830
-Hey...
-Because we wanna hire her.
260
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:05,831
Wait, what?
261
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,042
Wait, ew! Who is "we"?
262
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,168
-Like, "we" we, or--
-Yeah!
263
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,587
No, not... It's for after dinner.
264
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,339
-Oh, right.
-That makes more sense.
265
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,966
We want her to entertain
the kraut for an hour or so.
266
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,593
That greasy little German guy?
267
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:19,637
-No!
-Why are you talking?
268
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,181
Alright, A, what are you up to,
269
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,600
and B, what's it got to do with Fuchs?
270
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,144
A, nothing, and B, also nothing.
271
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,814
-For one hour? A thousand francs.
-What?
272
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,482
-Wait, is that a lot?
-Yes!
273
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,525
-That depends...
-Yes!
274
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,443
...on if you think 35 bucks is a lot.
275
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,611
-What?
-Right?
276
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:37,488
Well, we have to see
what the market will bear.
277
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,698
And if I only get 40%...
278
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,118
[gasps] Fourteen goddamn dollars?
279
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,912
Well, minus your room and board,
280
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:48,499
so let's just call it an even... Nine.
281
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,875
Nine dollars?
282
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,002
To have sexual intercourse.
283
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,712
With a total stranger.
284
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,297
I don't know why you're so pissed,
285
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,550
I was a stranger
and you banged me for free.
286
00:11:57,633 --> 00:12:00,094
Yeah, well, at least with him
I get two eyeballs.
287
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,011
Hey!
288
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,930
One thousand, please. In advance.
289
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:04,557
[scoffs] Where is the trust?
290
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,684
Where is the money?
291
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,394
[annoyed sigh] Pam?
292
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,063
What? Aw, man...
293
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,984
I was saving that for a whole
big girlie treat day for myself.
294
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,486
Go to the beauty parlor,
get a new dress...
295
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,822
No one cares.
296
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:24,785
Teeming.
297
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,078
[Fuchs] One for dinner, please.
298
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:28,205
Und tell the chef I want
299
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,917
the biggest steak in the house,
rare und bloody.
300
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,753
I must replenish my Lebenskraft.
301
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,297
[involuntary shudder]
302
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,799
[chuckling] Try not to fall in love.
303
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,509
And you might as well start now,
304
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,636
see if you can get a free meal out of it.
305
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,722
You said my board's included!
306
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,807
Just the continental breakfast, dear.
307
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,809
-Wh--?
-[gasps] Free bear claws!
308
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,644
-[groans]
-[growls]
309
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,314
[both continue groaning and growling]
310
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,817
[clears throat and growls]
311
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,574
[Charlotte, boozy] So, breadfruit...
312
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,285
What's that about?
313
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,662
Oh, about one kilo, on average.
314
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,040
Zat was a joke.
315
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,875
[drunken laugh]
316
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,337
Hey, are you gonna eat those potatoes
and stuff or whatever?
317
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,505
Ja.
318
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,632
Because I should probably
maybe eat something.
319
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,884
-I'm getting kinda drunk.
-Ja.
320
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:26,597
[whispers] And sometimes when I'm drunk,
I can get a little crazy.
321
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:27,848
Ja?
322
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,058
Ja.
323
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,602
So I at least need a haircut.
324
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,562
[hiccups] Care-cut. Carrot.
325
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,232
[chuckles] Don't worry, liebchen...
326
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:40,319
I have eine groBße Karotte for you.
327
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,946
Wow. [hiccups]
328
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,864
How are you still single?
329
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,202
Okay, Crackers, this is where you come in.
330
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,995
-You see that bathroom window?
-Yep.
331
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,873
I want you to fly in there
and then meet us at the front door.
332
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:53,958
Yep!
333
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,711
-And keep it down!
-[Crackers] Yep, yep, yep.
334
00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:58,712
[annoyed sigh] It's like if a--
335
00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,838
-[glass shatters]
-[small gasp]
336
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,423
-I'm sorry!
-[Archer] Goddamn it--
337
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,841
[Crackers] Sorry! Jesus.
338
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,343
C'mon, let's go.
339
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,015
-[glass shatters]
-I swear to God...
340
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,809
And you know they live to be like, eighty.
341
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,395
-How old's he?
-What, 40?
342
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:15,854
-[sighs]
-[objects crash]
343
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,314
[whispers] Goddamn it, bird!
344
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,732
[Crackers] Well, who puts that there?
345
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,150
Are you in position?
346
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,194
[Crackers] For what?
347
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,988
-To open the door!
-[Crackers] What?
348
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,531
Open the goddamn door!
349
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,032
[Crackers] How?
350
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,075
What do you mean, how?
351
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,869
Yeah, what was your plan there?
352
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,704
I don't know, jump on the handle!
353
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,122
[Crackers] It's a knob!
354
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,248
Clearly a knob.
355
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:35,666
[deep breath] Oh, my God.
356
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,543
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
357
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,169
Okay, let me think.
358
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,880
-What, what if we--
-[window shatters]
359
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,882
Would you do that?
360
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,383
Because we don't have all night!
361
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,344
We also don't want Fuchs to know
somebody broke into his house!
362
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,014
[Crackers] Oh, he's gonna know...
363
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,558
[Fuchs] Öffne deinen mund, mein leibchen!
364
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,519
Hier kommt der Zug in den Bahnhof!
365
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,396
[vocalizing]
366
00:14:57,479 --> 00:15:00,941
-[grunts]
-And how is everything, Miss Vandertunt?
367
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,651
[mumbles]
368
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,862
Wonderful, wonderful.
369
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:09,909
And would you and your guest care to enjoy
brandy and cigars in your room upstairs?
370
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,201
[vocalizes]
371
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:14,622
Ja, we will enjoy zis very much.
372
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,207
[swallows, imitates tooting horn]
373
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,334
[laughs]
374
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,044
Because why are you so mad?
375
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,254
Because why'd you shit on the sofa?
376
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,214
-I was scared!
-Of what?
377
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,592
How mad you'd be that I shit on the sofa!
378
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,260
Bird, I swear to... Ow!
379
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,803
-What the...
-[Pam] What is it?
380
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,681
It happens to be a large
brown suitcase, Pam.
381
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,559
With some kinda spy radio inside.
382
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,728
-Dun, dun, dun!
-Bird?
383
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,188
Knock it off, you licknuts.
384
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,190
And come here, look at all this shit.
385
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:45,069
-What the...?
-[Pam] Right? And check this out...
386
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,695
[Archer] What's it all mean?
387
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,491
Beats me, but I'm thinking
that kraut is into some weird shit.
388
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,117
[coughs] Redundant.
389
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,703
-[jazz playing over record player]
-[Fuchs] Ja, mein liebchen,
390
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,622
und wir tanzen...
391
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:58,958
Und so schön ist der Jazz...
392
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:02,252
Und Gott verdammt
deisen Büstenhalter!
393
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,337
Wait, what?
394
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,838
Und wir tanzen...
395
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:05,839
[Pam gasps]
396
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,384
And you guys, check this out!
397
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,427
[Archer] Holy shit! That's the island!
398
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,887
Gooosebumps!
399
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,056
Racist. All birds have bumps.
400
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,100
[Archer] And look, I bet that's the idol!
401
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,142
[Pam gasps]
402
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,602
Okay, come on, let's go!
403
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,563
What are you... No! We can't take the map,
he'll know he got robbed!
404
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,233
-Ya think?
-Well, technically burgled, but--
405
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,985
Bird! Pam, copy it!
406
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,654
-The bird?
-The map! Goddamn it!
407
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,823
You copy the map,
we'll clean up all the mess!
408
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,700
Man, where to start, right?
409
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,411
-[exclaims]
-Said the feather duster.
410
00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:38,288
[Fuchs straining, grunting]
411
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:39,915
[Fuchs, out of breath] Komm schon!
412
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,667
-[body thuds]
-Du doof Schlampe!
413
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:45,379
-[Charlotte snoring]
-[Fuchs] Wohl, das wird dich wecken!
414
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:48,173
Son of a... Knock knock!
415
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,341
[Fuchs] Nein, nein!
416
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,552
Well, what have we here?
417
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,220
Nothing! What do you want?
418
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:55,472
I brought you some more brandy,
but it looks like
419
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,308
your hostess has already
had a bit too much.
420
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,060
Maybe we should let her sleep.
421
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,770
She's fine. Get out!
422
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,355
Let's let her sleep.
423
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,690
Gottverdammt, woman!
424
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,734
Are you deaf, or just stupid?
425
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,193
Pick one.
426
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,612
Manu, dear, could I borrow you?
427
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,406
Would you be a little lamb
428
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:15,117
and show Miss Vandertunt's
guest to the door?
429
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:20,414
Fine! Und from now on,
I will eat die ScheiBßen-pasta at Luigi's!
430
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,207
Ugh, Luigi's.
431
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,002
[sad sigh]
432
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,754
[trilling]
433
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:29,465
[straining] C'mon... C'mon...
434
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,383
Upsy... Daisy!
435
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,844
Oh...
436
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:36,555
[drunk, sleepy]
Do I get my nine dollars now?
437
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,015
No.
438
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,683
[imitates horn tooting]
439
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:43,020
I cannot wait to find that verdammt idol
440
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,355
and get off this ScheiBße island!
441
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,816
Und why am I speaking English?
442
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,526
[Archer] Pam, how's the map,
you almost done?
443
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,362
Hang on... [muttering]
444
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,614
Yeah, okay, done!
445
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,742
What the shit?
446
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,620
I know, it just keeps getting worse!
447
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,455
I said blot! Why didn't you blot?
448
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,332
Why didn't I sew your asshole shut
449
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,292
like a Christmas goddamn goose?
450
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:06,460
-Huh?
-What?
451
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,253
-Is that not how they do it?
-First of all,
452
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,672
I'm pretty sure the asshole is gone
out of any bird
453
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,049
way before you start cooking it--
454
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:13,717
-[Fuchs] Was ist los?
-[all gasp]
455
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,637
[Fuchs] Ach! Das fenster
ist zerbrochen...
456
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,930
[whispers] Okay, we're going to Plan B!
457
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:19,640
[whispers] What, no, I hate Plan B!
458
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,101
-[grunts and chokes]
-[whispers] We're doing Plan B.
459
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,269
-[coughs]
-[whispers] And you better sell it, bird!
460
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,063
Come on, out the back!
461
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,441
[Fuchs] Hallo?
462
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,151
Oh, man...
463
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:32,736
Okay, here it goes...
464
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,279
[Crackers squawking,
wings flapping and thumping]
465
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,405
[Fuchs exclaiming]
466
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,698
[chuckling softly] Oh, man...
467
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,367
Plan B is the best.
468
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,787
[Fuchs screaming]
Fledermaus, fledermaus!
469
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,163
[Crackers squawks]
470
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,501
[Fuchs] Excuse me? Come here, please.
471
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:48,877
Si, signore?
472
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,380
So, for context, last night I was attacked
473
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,966
by what I can only assume
was a giant jungle bat,
474
00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:58,428
which did this to my face, and left me
and my house covered in blood and shit.
475
00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,763
Terribile...
476
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,432
Ja, ja, it was indeed terrible.
477
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,644
But not compared
to this breakfast!
478
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,396
[sad sigh]
479
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,524
And probably not compared
to this goddamn map.
480
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,442
Aw, c'mon, I was in a hurry.
481
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,735
To suck?
482
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,028
[Crackers] I'll tell you what sucks...
483
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,073
[winces] Being mistaken for a bat.
484
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:21,201
Ooh... But not as much as that map.
485
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:25,747
[theme music playing]
32860
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