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1
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:08,591
[engine sputtering]
2
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:16,808
-[Archer laughs]
-Oh, for-- Asshole!
3
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,602
Why's everybody pissed at me?
4
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,689
I'm the one with no parachute,
in a plane that can't land.
5
00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:23,606
[belches]
6
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,858
Which...
7
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:25,942
[Lanaluakalani]
Well!
8
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,278
What do we do now?
9
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,363
I mean, pretty much just this!
10
00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:32,365
She means how do we land?
11
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,118
Oh. Yeah, that's this whole big thing.
12
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,536
-What do you mean?
-Gott im Himmel...
13
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,455
You need, like, training!
14
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,165
-So train us!
-Ja!
15
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,750
Okay, okay, uh...
16
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,710
Okay, the first thing
you wanna do
17
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,588
is get out your notebooks
and two number two pencils!
18
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,298
[Lanaluakalani] What?
[Fuchs] Was?
19
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,508
[Pam] Wait, shit, that was
the classroom portion...
20
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,218
-Gott verdamme dich!
-Which...
21
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,804
[Pam] I mean, even if we had pencils...
22
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,639
Tell us what to do!
23
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,725
Okay, when you're about
to hit the ground,
24
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,310
you just kinda go limp!
25
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,020
-Limp?
-Heh. Oh right,
26
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,773
like this guy doesn't know
what "limp" means. Am I right, ladies?
27
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,442
-Crackers!
-Oh, my God...
28
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,360
-Was ist "limp"!
-Relax!
29
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,445
How?
30
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,530
[scoffs]
It means relax!
31
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,574
-Heh. Dipshit.
-Right?
32
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:17,452
But can we get
a little more detail?
33
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,704
Jesus, lady, okay!
34
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,331
Your knees are kinda bent,
35
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,791
and right when you hit the ground,
36
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,001
you relax and just fall over sideways,
37
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:27,712
and kinda roll
from your feet, up your legs,
38
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,048
-and then--
-[Fuchs shrieks]
39
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:34,052
[Pam] Well, shit. Okay, Princess
Highpockets, you're up.
40
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,554
No, no, no, no,
wait, wait, wait, wai--
41
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,555
[crashes into brush]
42
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,433
Jesus, people, how hard
is it to-- [yells]
43
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,310
[grunting and exclaiming]
44
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,813
[sighs] Oh, man. I had
something about, like...
45
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,857
Flying is for the birds?
46
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,109
No, it's gone.
47
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,115
[Pam grunting]
48
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,285
Goddamn it.
49
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,954
C'mon, you son of a--
50
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,247
[grunts]
51
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:05,917
[annoyed sigh]
Idiocy.
52
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,377
[Lanaluakalani]
Help!
53
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:08,837
Get me down!
54
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,588
-Shh!
-Now!
55
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,591
-I will, but quit yelling.
-[deep growl in distance]
56
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:14,509
[gasps]
57
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:16,845
We're not currently at the top
of the food chain.
58
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:17,846
[whispering] Sorry!
59
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,223
Now relax,
you're gonna be fine.
60
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,475
[Fuchs] Help!
61
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,394
[Pam]
Him, on the other hand...
62
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,479
Heh. Yikes.
63
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,440
That's enough to make any guy
go limp, am I right, ladies?
64
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,069
Shut up, bird.
65
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,112
Eh.
66
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:37,031
[theme music playing]
67
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,570
[Lanaluakalani]
Promise me!
68
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:16,821
Bocados de mierda.
69
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,323
I promise I will catch you.
70
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,158
Well, you'd better. It's a crime
71
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,910
to harm a member of the royal family!
72
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,995
What, ya gonna arrest the ground?
73
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:26,956
-Oh, so you can crack wise, but--
-Bird?
74
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,666
-[coughs]
-Okay...
75
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,086
One... Two... Three!
Oof!
76
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,880
[breathless]
My goodness.
77
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,924
I didn't realize
you were so strong...
78
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,968
Yeah, state cheese-toss champ,
five years runnin'.
79
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,346
But don't get any ideas, sister.
80
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:44,098
Wha-- Now, just you wait one minute!
81
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,309
Because what the hell is a cheese-toss?
82
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,894
What, seriously?
83
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,271
[Fuchs]
Verdammte Idioten!
84
00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,732
How do I get down from here?
85
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,068
[Pam] I mean, you just
unbuckle it and...
86
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,153
-Wha-- Are you mad?
-No.
87
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,905
I will fall!
88
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,324
[Pam] You don't really
have a choice!
89
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,992
Of course I do!
I will stay here!
90
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,411
-M'kay.
-What, no!
91
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,080
We cannot leave him here, he's...
92
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,415
Vital to our fledgling
breadfruit industry!
93
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,626
Which is... Fledgling!
94
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,586
So then that's probably bad...
95
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,380
[gasps]
96
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,048
Aw, man...
97
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:20,051
[Costello-esque]
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh,
98
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:24,555
sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh,
sh, sh, schlange!
99
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:30,019
[stammering and panicking]
100
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,481
If it's not one frickin' thing
with you people, it's another.
101
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,733
[whispers]
Do you have a plan?
102
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,611
[weary sigh]
I do, actually.
103
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,780
[glass shatters]
104
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,702
Okay, Lucy, here's the plan...
105
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,579
Mitimotu is here,
but with the wheels stuck down,
106
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:52,750
the closest airstrip we can
land on is on Motu Papa... Here.
107
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:56,212
Which is west-northwest,
a heading of 295 degrees.
108
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,131
Let's call it 320 nautical miles.
109
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,800
Airspeed 110, burn rate 50 per,
110
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:04,178
call it 55 with the wheels down,
if we run it lean--
111
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,180
And if the fuel pump holds,
112
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,850
'cause if it doesn't,
none of this shit matters.
113
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,893
Tailwind is five,
114
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:14,063
fuel-weight ratio, rho times
alpha, then lift-to-drag,
115
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,233
where W is force in newtons,
which means...
116
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,486
If we catch a few breaks
and that tailwind holds,
117
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,405
our maximum range is...
118
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:23,990
Goddamn it!
119
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,783
[yells]
120
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:29,203
[sighs]
Great. Now that's broken.
121
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:33,499
[weepy and panicked]
Zat cannot be your plan!
122
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:36,753
Well, if you'd hit the stupid buckle
when I told you to...
123
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,921
-[snake hissing]
-[whimpers]
124
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,090
That's his tongue on my face, isn't it?
125
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,301
Okay, Fritz, hang tight...
126
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,761
-[whisper] Badumbump.
-Bird?
127
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,345
You can't shoot the snake!
128
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,431
Why not? They slither into our nests,
129
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,933
they eat our eggs, they eat our chicks!
130
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,269
I meant. She could hit Fuchs.
131
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,812
I stand by my statement.
132
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,105
Don't worry, Princess,
133
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,440
I'm not shootin' at the snake...
134
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,858
[Fuchs] Warte, was?
135
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,693
Nein, nein, nein,
nein, nein, nein--
136
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,365
[yelling] Nein!
137
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:11,662
[grunting]
138
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,051
-Oh, man!
-Santa mierda.
139
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,304
Is he...
140
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:29,514
I mean...
141
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,182
-[Fuchs] Get me...
-[all gasp]
142
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:34,268
...ze hell out of here!
143
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,773
Bien sûr, mon amie, avec plaisir.
144
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:42,693
-Don't you want to know why?
-Non. Just how much.
145
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,613
Quelle chance. The perfect amount.
146
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,115
Après toi.
147
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,075
But since you mentioned "why"...
148
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:52,453
Oh, but "why" is such
a troublesome question,
149
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,871
though, don't you agree?
150
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,290
I mean, once you start
pulling threads,
151
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,292
there's no telling
where it'll end.
152
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,129
One minute you're wearing
a lovely cable-knit sweater,
153
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,589
and the next there's a pile
of yarn on the floor,
154
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,299
and you're standing there--
155
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,801
-[startled yelp]
-[startled yelp]
156
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,805
Jesus "What Is The H. For" Christ...
157
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,519
And you can keep your stupid turnip...
158
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,729
[slurping]
159
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:25,862
I'm not hungry.
160
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,827
-Mes bonbons!
-Your what?
161
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,079
Cochon stupide!
162
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,456
Qu'est-ce que tu as fait?
163
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,874
C'était un cadeau de ma mère!
164
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,417
-You--
-De Paris!
165
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,627
C'était! De! Paris!
166
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,129
You said I could have one!
167
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:44,297
Yes, one!
168
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,048
One, you cow bitch!
169
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,468
I didn't know which one I wanted!
170
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,470
[furious inhale]
171
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,221
Out.
172
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,890
-What?
-Out! Out, out, out, out!
173
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,309
No! It's some kind of ruse,
174
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,060
you're going to shoot me
in the back, or, or--
175
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,980
It's not a ruse, I paid your bail!
176
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,609
Oh. Well then.
177
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:07,820
Hmph.
178
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,324
But now wait a minute, Miss Thing...
179
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,869
On n'a plus besoin de navet!
180
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,082
[weary sigh]
181
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,668
[Archer]
Hey, come on...
182
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,921
[Archer]
Chin up, Archer...
183
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,464
You've been in tougher scrapes.
184
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,257
Huh? Remember the Andes?
185
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,592
Paso de Muerte?
186
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,969
C'mon, death was right there in the name.
187
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,390
All those dogfights over Spain
against the Condor Legion? Remember?
188
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,769
[chuckles]
This guy knows what I'm talking about.
189
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,523
So if the Andes couldn't kill me,
190
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,857
and the krauts couldn't kill me,
191
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,527
I mean, I know
it's kinda hard to grasp, but...
192
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,071
[deep breath]
I might be immortal.
193
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:55,284
[Archer]
I! Am! Immortal!
194
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:57,912
[Archer chuckles]
195
00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,288
Jesus Christ...
196
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,291
[in severe pain]
I am dying!
197
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,461
Shut up, you're not dying,
you just got a couple of busted ribs.
198
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,338
And probably a punctured lung.
199
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:08,506
-Was?
-Bird?
200
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:09,840
What, we were all thinking it.
201
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,175
No one is thinking that!
202
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,636
-He is.
-Ja, I am now!
203
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,263
-See?
-[animal growling]
204
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,265
-[all gasp]
-I feel like,
205
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,766
if I have to remind you people
206
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,518
how much you need to shut the hell up,
207
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,562
I'm gonna lose my temper.
208
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,689
Well, and I think I speak for the group,
209
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,440
I feel like you already have.
210
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,067
-Ja, and me also.
-So do I, actually.
211
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,112
[annoyed sigh] Well, if you think
I'm mad now...
212
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,656
[Pam] Wait 'til I'm gettin'
shit out of a dragon.
213
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,116
-[Lanaluakalani] Wait, what?
-[Fuchs] Huh? Was?
214
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,200
[Pam] Ahem.
215
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,868
-Oka atua!
-Holy birdshit!
216
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:38,911
[scared whisper]
Was? Was ist los?
217
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,663
[clears throat]
Yeah, so listen,
218
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,332
I'm probably gonna head out.
[exclaims]
219
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,670
But then what would
I use for bait?
220
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,547
Cheese?
221
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:55,428
There we are, a nice cool glass
of pastis, to...
222
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,887
Whet the appetite.
223
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,974
-For what?
-New experiences?
224
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:02,977
-You realize I can't pay for this.
-Mmm-hmm...
225
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,979
Or pay you back for bailing me out.
226
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:08,024
Which reminds me, why'd you do that?
227
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,110
Well, you said it yourself,
you're stranded here,
228
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:13,821
abandoned by the husband you cuckolded,
229
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,742
thousands of miles from
New York, where you're a disgrace,
230
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,785
an outcast, a laughingstock--
231
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,454
All right. Jesus.
232
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,123
You're a vagrant,
without a franc to your name,
233
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,709
so Reynaud can arrest you
again whenever he wants,
234
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,795
and I doubt he'd lose
much sleep over it...
235
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,255
Framboise...
236
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,673
Noix de coco...
237
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,841
Cerise...
238
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,343
[slurps]
239
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,636
Noisette!
240
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:40,389
And so, even if you had
a passport and a ticket out,
241
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,934
if you're sitting in that rich,
chocolatey jail cell...
242
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,645
I could be stuck here...
243
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:46,646
Forever!
244
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,522
Exactly.
245
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,400
So why not make the most of it?
246
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:56,989
[Archer] I mean, it's not like
you really have a choice, so...
247
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,830
Plus, maybe you really are immortal.
248
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,332
[burps, chuckling]
249
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,417
That... That'd explain a lot.
250
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,214
You want me to be a whore?
251
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,257
No, not a whore!
252
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,177
Good heavens, no, you'd be more like...
253
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,262
A courtesan.
254
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,680
Whom men pay for sex!
255
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,599
And sparkling conversation.
256
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:26,519
-I--
-And not just men, necessarily--
257
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,854
-What?
-And actually they'd pay me--
258
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:31,232
-Pfft!
-And then I'd pay you.
259
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,192
-A percentage.
-A percentage?
260
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,985
Let's call it...
261
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,654
[Archer] Forty-nine feet!
262
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,447
Wingtip to wingtip!
263
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,741
[Archer] And I bet that's 50-feet wide.
Right?
264
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,535
Yeah, I bet that's 50...
265
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:46,038
Which means we've got six inches
to spare on both sides, Lucy.
266
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:49,583
And you know I can do
a lot with six inches!
267
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:53,045
Badum-pssh.
Huh? Am I right, Luce?
268
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:55,089
Lucy, am I right?
269
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:58,467
[engine sputters, dies]
270
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,179
[Archer] Luce. Lucy.
271
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,765
Lucille Goosille.
272
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,768
Oh okay, so then I guess just pout!
273
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,770
But I would think it goes
without saying,
274
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:14,358
that it's also in your best interest
if we don't crash and burn!
275
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:18,028
[engine sputters back to life]
276
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,029
[Archer] Thank you!
277
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,489
Jesus, was that so hard?
278
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,992
[engine sputters and dies]
279
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:27,121
[Archer sighs wearily]
You fat bitch.
280
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,374
[groaning]
281
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,959
[in severe pain]
Fette Schlampe...
282
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,294
That better mean "Thank you."
283
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,671
[groans] It does not.
284
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,465
That's okay, you can thank me
285
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,216
if we get out of this with our skin on.
286
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,427
Which... What is taking you so long?
287
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,471
Okay, hold your damn horses!
288
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,639
-Here!
-Nein! I don't want zis!
289
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,266
-[animal grumbles]
-[all gasping]
290
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,559
[Pam] Nobody wants any of this.
291
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,728
But everybody is gonna do their bit!
292
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,855
Starting with you. Get up in those trees
293
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,231
and gimme some aerial recon.
294
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,858
Yep! Yep, yep, yep!
295
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,359
And if you leave us here,
296
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,487
I will find you, I will pluck you,
297
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,573
I will slather your bumpy skin
with olive oil and rosemary,
298
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:05,201
and then I will shove
a beer can up your asshole,
299
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,785
and roast your ancient carcass
300
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:10,289
until it is golden brown
and goddamn delicious.
301
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:11,749
Yep.
302
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,459
And how old are you, anyway?
303
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,294
Like, forty?
304
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:16,253
Eh.
305
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,467
Man, I had something about...
306
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,053
Dead-stick... Something?
307
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,347
No, it's gone.
308
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:29,350
[exhales] Okay Luce, it's now or never.
309
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:32,269
-Never!
-Oh, all right, sixty-forty!
310
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,772
That-- [scoffs] No! I will not
be your whore!
311
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,732
-Courtesan!
-Whatever! I won't do it!
312
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,109
-Because you will be in my jail!
-What?
313
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,445
Unless you can show me
100 francs
314
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,197
or proof of onward voyage!
315
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,782
You know I don't have either!
316
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,992
And I do not have my bonbons!
317
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,078
And so, madame...
Aprez-vous.
318
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,747
And what if I say no?
319
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:52,998
-[crashing]
-Sacre bleu!
320
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,416
Jesus Christ!
321
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:58,921
[woman screams]
322
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,175
[Archer] Son of a...
323
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,970
[screaming] Bitch!
324
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,597
Mon Dieu! C'est le volcane!
325
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,891
It's not the volcano, you idiot!
326
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,353
I hate this stupid island!
327
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,003
-Jesus Harry Christ.
-Ow...
328
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,255
[in pain] So hey...
329
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,215
-What now?
-Oh, Sterling!
330
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,633
[in pain]
Shut up, quick question,
331
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,136
how wide is the, uh,
the street out there?
332
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,222
-Forty feet?
-Mmm-hmm.
333
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,352
Speaking of, you're good with 40?
334
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,525
[Archer] Huh? What's that? [babbling]
335
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,652
[Malory] Oh, good, he's coming to.
336
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,821
-Hooray.
-Oh, shut up.
337
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,615
And you, give him some air.
338
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:11,869
Airspeed! Nose up!
Flaps! Flaps!
339
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,830
[coughs, chuckles]
340
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:18,125
Holy shit, I really am immortal.
341
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:19,919
And also in serious trouble!
342
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,922
Shut up. Where's Pam,
she's gonna love this.
343
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:26,342
She-- There was nobody
on the plane.
344
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,135
So where is la princesse?
345
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,846
Wait, no, no, no, they--
They bailed out.
346
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,806
Jesus Christ, how long was I out?
347
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,642
-Uh, one hour?
-Flew by.
348
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,936
Oh my God, so they're
out there in the jungle.
349
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,062
In the dark?
350
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,605
-[gasps]
-Mon Dieu.
351
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,942
So, what happens on shithole island
when it gets dark?
352
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,569
On three, I start blasting.
353
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,738
[dragons growling]
354
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,365
[grumbling]
355
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,242
One... Two...
356
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:58,207
[annoyed sigh]
Goddamn it.
357
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,000
I am genuinely sorry.
358
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,962
But I am absolutely
commandeering your vehicle, so--
359
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,422
No, I forbid you! You are insane!
360
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,424
Hmm, your concerns are noted.
361
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,550
Putain!
362
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,593
Oof!
363
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,303
-[Archer] Great.
-Sterling!
364
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,763
Be careful!
365
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:14,264
[chipper] No!
366
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:19,019
Okay, one, two...
367
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,606
Everybody try not to take
a big greasy shit on me...
368
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,524
You know what?
369
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,067
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!
370
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,361
-What?
-[dragons grumble]
371
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,071
What if they're like sharks?
372
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,906
-They are!
-Right?
373
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,367
No, what if when you shoot one,
374
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,870
the smell of its blood sends the others
into a feeding frenzy?
375
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,082
-I'm gonna shoot the others.
-No. All the others.
376
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,542
[dragons grumble]
377
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,127
[Crackers]
Like if they can smell one drop of blood
378
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,671
-from miles and miles away...
-Mein Gott.
379
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,965
There could be hundreds
of them out there.
380
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,175
-Thousands!
-Who gives a shit?
381
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,635
[dragons grumble]
382
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:52,553
-[Fuchs] Was?
-[Lanaluakalani] Me!
383
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,930
-First of all, they're not like sharks--
-Eh...
384
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,890
In that way! And second of all,
385
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,643
any one of these big bastards
could kill you!
386
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:03,188
The rest of 'em are just gonna be fightin'
over your dead-ass bones!
387
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,189
-Well...
-I dunno...
388
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,358
-I vote we take a vote.
-Second.
389
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,653
[annoyed sigh]
I swear to God...
390
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,405
[Reynaud]
Where are we going?
391
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,158
Well, they bailed out
south of Tarako, so--
392
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,285
Le volcan? Attention!
393
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,703
You must slow down!
394
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,039
Oh, this piece of shit can go slower?
395
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,917
Of course, you--
Oh, le sarcasme.
396
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,627
Cognate! Nice!
397
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,296
[tires screeching]
398
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,589
Anyway, if nobody's hurt
399
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,674
and Pam's got 'em headed
in the right direction,
400
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,551
they should run right into this trail.
401
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,304
If the serpents and lizards and cannibals
402
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,847
don't run into them first!
403
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,348
Yeah, seems like a shitty place
404
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,059
for a breadfruit plantation, huh?
405
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,977
-Breadfruit? Here?
-Right?
406
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,021
-That's what I--
-[gun firing in distance]
407
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,481
Oh, shit!
408
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,525
[gunfire continues]
409
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,652
[yelling]
410
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,613
-[dragons shrieking]
-[all screaming]
411
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:55,532
-I'm out!
-We were supposed to vote!
412
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,493
I voted no! Reloading!
413
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:01,371
[dragons snarling]
414
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,290
Oh man, there's even more of 'em!
415
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,918
-C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
-Gott im Himmel!
416
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,669
Nothing is worth this!
417
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,588
I do not care about the idol!
418
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:10,631
-Do what?
-What idol?
419
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:11,673
What? Wait, what, no.
420
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,343
-He said-- Look out!
-[Fuchs shrieks]
421
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,221
[Pam] Loaded!
422
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:20,307
-[all screaming]
-[dragons roaring and shrieking]
423
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,977
-Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!
-They're everywhere!
424
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,437
[Crackers]
What the hell's in those bullets?
425
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,564
-Reloading!
-Lizard pheromones?
426
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,650
[sniffs] I don't think so.
427
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,026
Loaded!
428
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,612
[dragons roaring and shrieking]
429
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,364
[gunshots]
430
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,449
What the hell are you doing here?
431
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,742
Get in!
432
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,995
Oh, right. Heavy barrel!
433
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,622
Take that, lizard!
434
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,415
And that!
[shouts in French]
435
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:50,921
[all screaming]
436
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,590
[dragons roaring and shrieking]
437
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,425
Okay, we're in! Go!
438
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,261
[Archer] Whoo!
439
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,513
[speaks French]
440
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:00,639
Slow down!
441
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,182
Oh, my God, all right.
442
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,685
[all gasp]
443
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,437
[Pam] Oh, just like old days.
444
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,856
[all exclaiming in relief]
445
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:10,732
Oh, okay.
446
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,152
Yeah, so, I guess
no thanks necessary.
447
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,486
-Danke, danke...
-Thank you!
448
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,196
-Well, I mean--
-Bird?
449
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,073
But... How did you find us?
450
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,117
I dunno...
Just lucky, I guess.
451
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,243
Grace à Dieu...
452
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,412
And wait, where did you land?
453
00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:27,791
Oh man, Pam, speaking of luck...
454
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,716
[Pam] So, you're all lined up,
455
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,426
thinking, I've got 50 feet to work with--
456
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,178
[Archer]
And I'm just 49, tip to tip--
457
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,054
[Pam] And of course the fuel pump's out--
458
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,681
[Archer] Yeah, so I'm, you know--
459
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,224
-[Pam] Dead-stickin' it!
-[Archer] Right?
460
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,059
[Pam]
Yeah, so, but then you slam a wing
461
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,811
into that first tree down there,
462
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,314
and then it just
sort of shitstorms on you--
463
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,690
[Archer] Well, yeah, because--
464
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,358
Because any asshole could tell
465
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,569
that this street is not 50-feet wide,
466
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:56,945
and even if it was,
467
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,656
that only gives you
six frickin' inches to spare!
468
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,618
Right? And I actually had
something for that, about, like...
469
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,662
Doing a lot with six inches,
or like, it was like--
470
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,332
Like, what if you'd fixed
the goddamn fuel pump
471
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:09,791
so the crash never happened?
472
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,127
Mmm... No, it was more like a dick jo--
473
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,253
[grunts]
474
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:15,923
Yeah.
475
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:21,678
[flatulence]
476
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,681
Heh. Funny stuff.
477
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,188
[theme music playing]
31035
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