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Can I tell you something?
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Strictly entre nous.
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00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,440
I am not what I seem.
4
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:36,400
I am not a man.
5
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,960
That is to say,
I was not born a man,
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00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,800
but I do not wish to be a man, no.
7
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,160
I like the costume, I like the ease,
8
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,880
I like the way I'm able be
in the world, but I am very much...
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00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,240
..female.
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00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,720
Space.
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00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,640
A gentleman must take up space.
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00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,920
Head erect, shoulders back,
chest proud.
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00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:10,160
No hint of apology,
no fluttery hands
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00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,760
or silly, unnecessary gestures.
15
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:17,160
One must enter the room and know
that one is instantly
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00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,680
the biggest thing in it.
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00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,400
Expect that.
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00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:27,160
One must sit with
a wide stance, knees an acre apart.
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00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,080
As much to say, "I am the emperor
here and you must make room for my
20
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,320
"enormous appendage."
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00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:34,440
If you'll excuse me.
22
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,120
Keep it under your hat, old bean.
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00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,600
It's just our little secret.
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00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:47,360
She is not what he seems,
and she, as he, can rattle around
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as he pleases, and if he so
pleases to indulge in a bout
26
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,240
of beard splitting, then so be it.
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00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:58,520
No-one will bat an eyelid
and one can carry on being
28
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,760
a cake-eater till one
has had one's fill.
29
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,800
Did you clock it?
30
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:07,920
If so, how so?
31
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,760
I am a renowned gentleman, you know.
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I pass.
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00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,920
I pass terribly well.
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00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,920
Although it seems
not as well as I'd hoped.
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CLOCK DINGS
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00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,440
Not when it matters.
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00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:29,920
She's late.
38
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,800
I've always been outdoorsy.
39
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,720
My poor old Ma used to say,
40
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,520
"Ellen Mary Page,
you'll be the death of me!
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00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:44,200
"Get inside and scrub them knees -
you look like a regular Tom!"
42
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,920
I was always out playing.
43
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,320
With Lizzie, mostly.
44
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,600
Up and down Mare Street,
nicking whelks off the one-eyed man
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00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,440
with the seafood stall.
46
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,560
And she'd distract him
by asking for a pint of prawns
47
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:03,000
and a blank stare and I'd blindside
him and pocket a fistful of cockles.
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00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,720
Oh, I adored Lizzie!
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00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:08,960
And she adored me.
50
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,920
Every night, when we dragged
ourselves away from each other,
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00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:15,680
I'd say, "Cash or cheque?"
52
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,240
And she'd say, "Cash."
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00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,680
And I'd get a kiss on the cheek.
54
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,400
Our favourite game was wedding day.
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00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,120
She was always the bride, of course,
and I would be the groom.
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00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,720
I'd get my dad's best coat.
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00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,440
Grey tweed, leather buttons,
smell of sweat, coal.
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00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,160
Bits of dried-up tobacco
in the breast pocket.
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00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,040
I'd have to wait for her
at the end of the aisle,
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00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,760
the back alley where our mothers
would hang the washing.
61
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,520
And I'd watch her,
holding my breath,
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00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:52,600
as she picked her way through the
grey sheets and stained drawers,
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00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:56,040
a huge, stupid smile on her face.
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00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,520
And when she reached me
and put her arm through mine...
65
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,440
..I fair exploded.
66
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,120
I loved her.
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00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,760
I knew that.
68
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:15,320
I longed to take her in my arms
and kiss her neck.
69
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,400
Would she allow it?
70
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,040
Could she?
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00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,320
I just didn't know.
72
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:28,520
Then bloody William Foyle
turned up.
73
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:33,840
All big muscles,
crooked smile and twinkly-eyed.
74
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,600
And she fell for him straightaway.
75
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,720
He bought her a tuppence bag of
aniseed balls and she was lost.
76
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:42,640
I was heartbroken.
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00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,200
She still said "cash"
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00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,040
when we did manage to see
each other, but...
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00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,040
..I could see her heart
wasn't in it.
80
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,320
She looked sad.
81
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,040
But not for her, for me.
82
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,040
"Don't be like that, Ellen,"
she'd say.
83
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,400
Touching my arm.
84
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,720
Once, she took me in.
85
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,440
She took pity on me.
86
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:12,800
And we sat by the fire.
87
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,160
I had my arms wrapped
around her waist.
88
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,560
And...
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00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:25,920
..I just let my hand drop
lower and lower
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00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:30,400
until it was resting
in her glorious lap.
91
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,920
I moved my hand slowly, slowly.
92
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,280
She froze...
93
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,720
..then relaxed.
94
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,600
I waited.
95
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,760
Minutes groaned by.
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00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:53,320
She let me.
97
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,800
She...
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00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,520
let me.
99
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,360
And then, all of a sudden,
she jumped up,
100
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,720
grabbed her shawl
and ran out the back door.
101
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,480
I called after her, but she
didn't turn back.
102
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,640
It was exactly two weeks later
that I ran into her
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00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,800
buying a loaf of bread.
104
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,800
"Lizzie," I said, "I'm sorry.
105
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,960
"Please, please speak to me."
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00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,200
"Don't," she said.
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00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,680
She sort of hissed it.
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00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:37,200
I searched her face for a sign
of softness, but there was none.
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00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,360
There was only fear.
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00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:43,960
Only fear.
111
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,080
She turned on her heel
and marched off.
112
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,160
"Cash or cheque?"
I shouted after her.
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00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,800
She didn't miss a beat.
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00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,560
"Cheque," she said,
over her shoulder.
115
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,120
And then she was gone.
116
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,360
Into the fog.
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00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,040
I was 16.
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00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:11,920
My life was over.
119
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,120
Ellen Mary Page...
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00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,160
..was dead.
121
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:24,320
I moved away after that, went south
of the river, found lodgings,
122
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,520
didn't speak to anyone or
go out at all at first.
123
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,560
I had very little money, of course.
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00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,920
Only what I could make as a skivvy.
125
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,720
I washed pots morning,
noon and night,
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set fires, peeled potatoes.
127
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,160
Bored rigid, I was, but dead inside,
so it didn't matter.
128
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,360
"Is this it?" I'd think to myself.
129
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:51,480
Then one day, I was told to throw
some of Sir's old clothes out.
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00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,960
Apparently, he was trying to become
more a la mode
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00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,160
and wanted only brogues
and Oxford bags.
132
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,280
I took the package
up the scullery steps...
133
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,960
..and opened it.
134
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:09,160
The smell of old sweat,
tobacco, soap.
135
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,360
And I...
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00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,720
I pressed the white dress shirt
close to my face and...
137
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,800
..breathed it in.
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00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,520
Trousers, too, high-waisted,
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00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,160
black satin trim down the legs.
140
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:28,720
White silk bow tie, long-line
tuxedo, top hat - the lot.
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00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,880
I stuffed the parcel behind the bin
and grabbed it on my way home.
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00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,640
I went home and I put it all on.
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00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:39,840
It was like...
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00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,040
..a sacrament.
145
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,360
I felt wonderful.
146
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,360
And the second night, I got daring
and looked in the mirror.
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00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,480
I must have posed for hours.
148
00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:02,160
You know, tilting my head this way
and that, practising my walk.
149
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,040
I really thought
I was the cat's particulars.
150
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,880
The frog's eyebrows.
151
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,440
Well, the third night,
I got bold and went out.
152
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,720
I couldn't look at anyone,
I couldn't breathe!
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00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:19,440
I was sure, at any moment,
someone would point and laugh.
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00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,400
You know, shout at me, call me,
"Nancy boy!"
155
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:29,120
But I am tall and broad-shouldered,
with a bosom like two bee stings.
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00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,800
I know the gas light helped,
it was foggy and, well,
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00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,200
the top hat was a touch too big.
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00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,520
It kept falling down over my eyes.
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00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,080
But I was a man.
160
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,160
I went out every night after that,
started going to pubs,
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00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,920
ordering beer,
sitting at the bar, smoking.
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00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,000
Plagued by no-one.
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The odd nod from the other gents,
but I liked it.
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00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:03,280
I started to feel,
well, not happy, but free.
165
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,600
Free of my misery.
166
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,320
And the queer thing is, I started to
resent my maid's garments.
167
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,120
I began to feel silly
in my skirts,
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00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,160
as if my pinny were a costume
and not my tux!
169
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,840
Then the ladies started coming in,
just one or two,
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00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,920
only at weekends and always
with their husbands.
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00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,120
It wasn't difficult to spot
the unhappy ones.
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00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,080
They'd sit sipping their
gins silently.
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00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:38,120
Eyes cast down, fidgeting
while their men jawed on.
174
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:43,240
I started to catch the attention
of the odd lady.
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00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,040
I'd smile,
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00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:48,520
bow my head at them,
and they would blush.
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00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,480
One or two of the braver ones
started to manufacture conversation
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00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,600
when I passed, discreetly.
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00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,400
The weather, the horses,
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00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,480
things they thought
a gentleman might like to discuss.
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00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,880
Then one night, a lady called Alice,
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00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,440
40, plump, sad-eyed,
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00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,520
somewhat in her cups, grabbed my arm
and asked to meet me out back.
184
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:16,160
I was stumped, but waited a few
minutes and followed her out.
185
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:20,320
She was waiting in the shadows and
she grabbed me and started babbling
186
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,040
about how she felt a curious,
morbid attraction to me
187
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,600
and needed to kiss me, just once!
188
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,800
I pressed my lips on hers
and she groaned.
189
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,720
One thing led to another
and before long,
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00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,240
I was sliding my hand up
her skirts every Friday night.
191
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:40,080
Others followed.
192
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:44,600
Word got round about
the Doctor of Southwark.
193
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:49,160
They said I could cure hysteria
by inducing paroxysms.
194
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,520
I would tip-toe in, and one by
one, I'd give them the nod
195
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,240
and we'd go out back
and I'd shuffle them off.
196
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,680
I did six in one night
one busy Saturday.
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00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,800
I got cramp.
198
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,120
Yes, I've read
The Well Of Loneliness.
199
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,880
"That night they were
not divided."
200
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,080
Well, she should have got out more.
201
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,800
I never let them touch me.
202
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,800
Even though I had started
to pack myself with an old sock.
203
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,240
Just the one.
204
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,120
I'm not a crower.
205
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,280
"You're nice," they'd say.
206
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,760
"The perfect gentleman."
207
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,520
Then Sally came.
208
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,000
No man.
209
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:40,560
She breezed in with a couple of
other girls, egging each other on,
210
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,760
fresh from the meadows
and longing to be led astray.
211
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,080
She caught my eye and held it.
212
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:52,440
I fell instantly in love.
213
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,600
She was 18 and never been kissed,
but she was bold,
214
00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:01,680
hungry for her life to start
and, I found, so was I.
215
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:07,240
I walked her home three miles,
floated back to Southwark,
216
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,480
saw her every Saturday.
217
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,760
She was working at Boots
in Piccadilly,
218
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,680
and on my day off, I'd go in to make
her blush.
219
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:19,240
I'd ask her loudly for, "A little
something for the weekend."
220
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,760
The other girls would laugh
at me, say,
221
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,440
"Here he is, Burlington Bertie!"
222
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,760
If only they knew
I was more Vesta Tilley
223
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,280
than they could ever imagine.
224
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,640
"I walked down the Strand
with me gloves on me hands
225
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,720
"and I walked down again
with them off."
226
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:38,600
Did they know?
227
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,920
Could they see?
228
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,920
Sally didn't.
229
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,000
Or didn't seem to.
230
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,040
Or didn't want to.
231
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,000
Until last night.
232
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,280
I am such a fool.
233
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,720
Such an utter idiot!
234
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,960
I don't know why I thought
it would ever work.
235
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:12,880
We'd been intimate for some weeks,
three, four.
236
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,040
But she wasn't like the others.
237
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,800
She wanted more.
238
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,360
A lot more.
239
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,760
She said she loved me and wanted us
to go steady.
240
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,080
I was so deliriously happy...
241
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,600
..I asked her to marry me.
242
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:31,880
Marry me?!
243
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,160
And she said yes, straightaway.
She didn't even want to wait.
244
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,160
"I want to marry you now,
Bobby Page, right now!
245
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,720
"I want to wash your socks and
have 12 babies and make you
246
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,960
"steak pudding and kiss you
every night," she'd say.
247
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:50,880
Smothering me with her mouth,
trying to pull on my flies.
248
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,520
I managed to push her away, but she
only fought harder, laughing.
249
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,720
Saying, why was I so shy?
250
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,720
And surely a handsome chap like me
had had scores of girls.
251
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,360
She became more and more insistent.
252
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,560
She started borrowing filthy books
from a dirty girl at work.
253
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,400
The language!
254
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,160
I'd never heard the like.
255
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,320
"I've got standing room for one,"
she'd whisper.
256
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,240
Or, "I need my chimney swept
good and proper."
257
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,080
Well, it was me blushing then,
but...
258
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,640
..it did things to me.
259
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,120
I started to get nervous
that she would leave me.
260
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,440
I tried to break it off,
but I couldn't.
261
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,680
I loved her.
262
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,280
So I did something...
263
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,640
..utterly insane.
264
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,240
Such sheer folly.
265
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,840
Oh, God!
266
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,840
And that's why I'm in this pickle.
267
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,320
You see, the big house
has a lot of candles,
268
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:07,240
and yesterday I was replacing
the old ones in the dining room -
269
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,560
she likes fresh every night.
270
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,360
And it got me to thinking,
what a waste!
271
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:19,160
Don't laugh, but I whittled one
down at the end.
272
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:23,160
I've never seen a real one -
had to avoid the urinals
273
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,640
for obvious reasons,
274
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:30,160
but I've seen dirty puzzles,
filthy books, so I had a good idea.
275
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,520
I stuck it in my underwear.
276
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,960
It kept slipping out.
277
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,040
It was quite a queer gait I had
walking down the street, but...
278
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,120
..I liked it.
279
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,280
I went to pick her up from work,
waited round the back.
280
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,960
As soon as she saw me,
she grabbed me and kissed me,
281
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,520
pushed me up against the bins,
282
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,760
fumbled for my privates
and I let her.
283
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,280
And she smiled, reached to my flies
and let out a gasp.
284
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,840
And then she pulled up her skirts
and said, "Stick it in me!"
285
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:07,880
Just like that!
286
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,600
Well, it was dark.
287
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,200
"Why not?" thought I.
288
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,560
Why not?
289
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,200
So we did it.
290
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,200
And after, she said,
291
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:29,400
"Thank you," and looked so pleased,
I could have died happy.
292
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,520
Her clinging on to me,
293
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,720
her hot breath on the back of
my neck as she calmed herself.
294
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,360
And then it fell out.
295
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:40,720
Slipped out of my hand.
296
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,200
She screamed.
297
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,160
For a moment, I think
she thought she'd broken it,
298
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,520
but then...
299
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,560
..she saw what it was,
and her face, it...
300
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,400
..folded in on itself.
301
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,560
And she gathered up her skirts
and ran.
302
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,880
I mean, how could she not
have known?
303
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,640
Surely, a candle is just...
304
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,520
..the wrong kind of stiff.
305
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,000
I don't think I can do this
any more.
306
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,120
And then this morning...
307
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,320
..a note.
308
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,880
"Who are you? What are you?"
309
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,160
She said to meet here.
310
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,040
"I'm Bert,
perhaps you've heard of me.
311
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,840
"Bert, you've heard word of me.
312
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,600
"Jogging along, hearty and strong,
313
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,920
"living on plates of fresh air.
314
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:52,960
"I dress up in fashion
and when I'm feeling depressed...
315
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,120
"..I shave from my cuff
all my whiskers and fluff.
316
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,560
"Stick my hat on...
317
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,440
"and toddle up west."
318
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:04,920
BELL RINGS
22285
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