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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:08,129 ♪♪ 2 00:00:08,129 --> 00:00:14,297 ♪♪ 3 00:00:30,629 --> 00:00:35,753 -And henceforth let this land be plagued By Ogres! 4 00:00:47,337 --> 00:00:50,085 -It was the Green-eyed Lady of Banebower 5 00:00:50,085 --> 00:00:53,297 who banished the Wizard who cursed the King 6 00:00:53,297 --> 00:00:56,669 whose Queen had died giving birth to the Princess 7 00:00:56,669 --> 00:00:58,629 who was about to be married. 8 00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:05,713 -And will you freely take this Princess to be your wedded wife? 9 00:01:05,713 --> 00:01:07,629 -I guess most people know that. 10 00:01:10,129 --> 00:01:11,753 -Oh, absolu-- 11 00:01:11,753 --> 00:01:14,005 But how does a beautiful 12 00:01:14,005 --> 00:01:15,713 Princess like her --- 13 00:01:15,713 --> 00:01:18,753 only daughter of a great king, like him -- 14 00:01:18,753 --> 00:01:21,669 end up betrothed to this guy? 15 00:01:22,921 --> 00:01:25,753 Well, it's complicated. 16 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,669 But, it's a great story. 17 00:01:31,629 --> 00:01:34,253 The land had been known far and wide 18 00:01:34,253 --> 00:01:36,753 as the Contented Kingdom. 19 00:01:36,753 --> 00:01:39,837 But these days, nobody called it that. 20 00:01:39,837 --> 00:01:41,045 Because of the Ogre problem. 21 00:01:46,797 --> 00:01:48,545 And it really was a problem. 22 00:01:52,085 --> 00:01:55,085 For years the Kingdom had been plagued by Ogres 23 00:01:56,297 --> 00:01:58,253 but the lowly Goatherd 24 00:01:58,253 --> 00:02:01,377 was also plagued by something else. 25 00:02:02,669 --> 00:02:05,753 Try as he might he could not find Love. 26 00:02:07,005 --> 00:02:11,297 Or, perhaps you could say, love had not yet found him. 27 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,585 Heh. 28 00:02:14,921 --> 00:02:21,213 ♪♪ 29 00:02:21,213 --> 00:02:27,461 ♪♪ 30 00:02:28,669 --> 00:02:29,585 Whoa! 31 00:02:35,505 --> 00:02:37,377 -Ha! Typical. 32 00:02:37,377 --> 00:02:39,545 -He's okay. 33 00:02:39,545 --> 00:02:41,669 Maybe not. 34 00:02:41,669 --> 00:02:43,169 Uh-oh. 35 00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,421 That was close. 36 00:03:04,421 --> 00:03:06,213 -Come on champ, shake it off. 37 00:03:06,213 --> 00:03:07,961 We'll be late to the festival. 38 00:03:13,045 --> 00:03:14,629 -When he arose, 39 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:17,797 the dancing figure had vanished from sight 40 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:20,713 and that might have been the end of the story 41 00:03:20,713 --> 00:03:23,005 but in fact... 42 00:03:23,005 --> 00:03:24,669 it was just the beginning. 43 00:03:24,669 --> 00:03:33,253 ♪♪ 44 00:03:33,253 --> 00:03:41,877 ♪♪ 45 00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:50,461 ♪♪ 46 00:03:50,461 --> 00:03:54,253 ♪♪ 47 00:03:55,505 --> 00:03:56,585 -Oh. 48 00:03:59,337 --> 00:04:01,085 Looks like something the cat dragged in. 49 00:04:01,085 --> 00:04:04,169 -Ugh, and smells like something the cat pooped in. 50 00:04:04,169 --> 00:04:06,837 -Come on guys, there's no sense crying over spilled milk. 51 00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:08,297 -How 'bout crying over being covered in sh-- 52 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:09,753 -It's mud. 53 00:04:09,753 --> 00:04:11,505 And maybe a little Ogre goo. 54 00:04:11,505 --> 00:04:13,797 -I love the smell of Ogre goo in the morning. 55 00:04:13,797 --> 00:04:15,005 Smells like... 56 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,629 Ogre goo, mainly. 57 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,837 -I saw something, Mum. 58 00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:27,585 On the down. -Ogres, was it? 59 00:04:29,005 --> 00:04:30,545 -A woman. 60 00:04:31,961 --> 00:04:33,585 Dancing, like... 61 00:04:37,669 --> 00:04:39,337 -Clean yourself up. 62 00:04:39,337 --> 00:04:40,669 We'll be late. 63 00:04:40,669 --> 00:04:42,297 -See you at the festival neighbors! 64 00:04:43,585 --> 00:04:44,921 Save the first dance for me! 65 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:54,753 ♪♪ 66 00:04:54,753 --> 00:05:02,085 ♪♪ 67 00:05:02,085 --> 00:05:03,169 Go on. 68 00:05:08,713 --> 00:05:10,669 Make sure you dance this year. 69 00:05:10,669 --> 00:05:12,253 -Mam, I can't dance. 70 00:05:13,545 --> 00:05:15,961 -Going my way? 71 00:05:15,961 --> 00:05:18,837 Go on. 72 00:05:18,837 --> 00:05:20,129 -Oh. -Oh, well. 73 00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:21,877 Age before beauty. 74 00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:24,005 -Well, that's me bringing at the rear again, isn't it? 75 00:05:33,421 --> 00:05:35,669 -I know, I have just the one for you. 76 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,877 She's perfect. 77 00:05:36,877 --> 00:05:38,253 -Mam, I can't dance. 78 00:05:40,169 --> 00:05:42,545 -No Princes have come this year, Sire. 79 00:05:42,545 --> 00:05:44,085 Third year in a row. 80 00:05:46,005 --> 00:05:48,713 -When the Plague of a Thousand Ogres is ended, 81 00:05:48,713 --> 00:05:52,713 my child, I promise you shall be betrothed. 82 00:05:52,713 --> 00:05:53,961 -You say that every year. 83 00:05:55,129 --> 00:05:57,213 Is there anyone left to get betrothed to? 84 00:05:57,213 --> 00:06:00,213 -We seem to be fresh out of idiot Princes these days. 85 00:06:00,213 --> 00:06:01,713 My lady. 86 00:06:01,713 --> 00:06:03,421 I should explain. 87 00:06:03,421 --> 00:06:05,213 When the princess was of age 88 00:06:05,213 --> 00:06:07,713 the King declared that any Prince or Noble Lord 89 00:06:07,713 --> 00:06:09,213 who vanquished the Ogres 90 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,085 would earn his child's hand. 91 00:06:11,085 --> 00:06:13,297 ♪♪ 92 00:06:14,713 --> 00:06:16,797 -Every year valiant Princes 93 00:06:16,797 --> 00:06:19,045 from far and wide came to test their might, 94 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,837 and rid the Kingdom of its curse. 95 00:06:20,837 --> 00:06:22,213 ♪♪ 96 00:06:22,213 --> 00:06:24,297 Oh, no. 97 00:06:24,297 --> 00:06:27,005 -Which said that as long as the Ogre's lived 98 00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:28,753 the Princess would marry no man. 99 00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:34,837 But none of them could best the foul Ogres. 100 00:06:36,753 --> 00:06:38,877 And these days, on her birthday 101 00:06:38,877 --> 00:06:40,585 the Princess had no one to dance with 102 00:06:40,585 --> 00:06:42,005 but the King's Dancemaster. 103 00:06:43,797 --> 00:06:45,297 -Which... 104 00:06:45,297 --> 00:06:48,129 Well, he was an excellent dancer. 105 00:06:48,129 --> 00:06:56,713 ♪♪ 106 00:06:56,713 --> 00:07:05,337 ♪♪ 107 00:07:09,421 --> 00:07:16,085 ♪♪ 108 00:07:18,713 --> 00:07:20,213 -Mam, I don't want to dance. 109 00:07:20,213 --> 00:07:22,629 -Yes, you do. 110 00:07:28,669 --> 00:07:29,921 Go on, go on. 111 00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:36,213 Oh! 112 00:07:36,213 --> 00:07:37,877 Ow! 113 00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:40,629 Whoa! 114 00:07:40,629 --> 00:07:41,837 Ah! 115 00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:46,629 -Oh. 116 00:07:51,629 --> 00:07:54,545 -Never thought he'd top the year he fell in the pig trough. 117 00:07:54,545 --> 00:07:56,961 But he did it! 118 00:07:56,961 --> 00:07:58,337 -He's a little unlucky. 119 00:07:58,337 --> 00:08:00,005 -Clumsy as a three-legged camel 120 00:08:00,005 --> 00:08:01,297 with two humps, that's the truth. 121 00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:03,713 -You can't handle the truth. 122 00:08:08,297 --> 00:08:10,253 -I ain't never had a wife. 123 00:08:15,213 --> 00:08:16,669 -Never even a sweetheart. 124 00:08:19,669 --> 00:08:21,169 Why is that, Mum? 125 00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:25,505 Mum. 126 00:08:26,461 --> 00:08:28,045 Why is that? 127 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,253 Is there something wrong with me? 128 00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:37,585 -Yes. There is. 129 00:08:39,421 --> 00:08:40,837 You're cursed. 130 00:08:43,297 --> 00:08:45,169 -Like... 131 00:08:45,169 --> 00:08:46,545 metaphorically? 132 00:08:49,377 --> 00:08:50,961 -Evil magic. 133 00:08:52,377 --> 00:08:53,921 At birth. 134 00:08:59,753 --> 00:09:01,921 -I'm passed two score years old. 135 00:09:03,337 --> 00:09:06,129 For no good reason I've never had a single sweetheart, 136 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:09,045 not a single kiss, or a single sweet word, 137 00:09:09,045 --> 00:09:11,297 not even an enjoyable picnic with a maid, 138 00:09:11,297 --> 00:09:14,377 and you 're just now telling me 139 00:09:14,377 --> 00:09:16,461 that I'm cursed. 140 00:09:16,461 --> 00:09:18,169 By magic. 141 00:09:20,129 --> 00:09:21,461 At birth?! 142 00:09:22,837 --> 00:09:24,169 -Eat your soup. 143 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:39,797 -All his life, 144 00:09:39,797 --> 00:09:41,629 he had been invisible to love. 145 00:09:41,629 --> 00:09:42,921 And now, 146 00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:45,797 at last, he knew why. 147 00:09:49,753 --> 00:09:55,297 That night his dreams were dark and full of terrors. 148 00:10:02,005 --> 00:10:09,629 -This child shall never take a wife... 149 00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:11,213 no not a single sweetheart, Nay! 150 00:10:11,213 --> 00:10:13,877 Not a single kiss. Not a single kiss! 151 00:10:13,877 --> 00:10:19,505 No, not even an enjoyable picnic with a maid shall he have! 152 00:10:20,797 --> 00:10:23,129 -Nevertheless, in his heart 153 00:10:23,129 --> 00:10:27,377 he began to feel a faint stirring of hope. 154 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:35,921 ♪♪ 155 00:10:40,837 --> 00:10:44,005 For if he could but undo the curse, 156 00:10:44,005 --> 00:10:48,005 perhaps, his luck would change. 157 00:10:50,297 --> 00:10:52,505 -It was the Evil Wizard who done it. 158 00:10:52,505 --> 00:10:55,877 "He'll never take a wife." That's what he said. 159 00:10:57,421 --> 00:10:59,461 -Can I break it? The curse. 160 00:11:01,213 --> 00:11:03,253 You could visit the Witch. 161 00:11:03,253 --> 00:11:05,505 The Hag of Banebower. 162 00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:06,877 -Can she break curses? 163 00:11:06,877 --> 00:11:08,421 -Absolutely! 164 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:13,045 Hey aren't you forgetting something! 165 00:11:18,337 --> 00:11:20,377 Where can I find her? The Hag. 166 00:11:21,585 --> 00:11:23,669 Take the Ogre's road. 167 00:11:23,669 --> 00:11:25,585 If you get to the Ogre King's Keep, 168 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:26,877 you 've gone too far, 169 00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:28,005 the Ogres will eat ye. 170 00:11:28,005 --> 00:11:33,545 ♪♪ 171 00:11:33,545 --> 00:11:35,253 And mind you, boy. 172 00:11:35,253 --> 00:11:36,877 Don't eat her soup! 173 00:11:36,877 --> 00:11:39,753 ♪♪ 174 00:11:39,753 --> 00:11:42,253 -You're a brave hero now is it?! 175 00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:44,585 And you'll be betrothed to the Princess 176 00:11:44,585 --> 00:11:47,961 by next year on her birthday, will ye? 177 00:11:47,961 --> 00:11:50,921 And who'll milk the goats when you're dead? 178 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,253 -And so with his Mother's fond encouragement -- 179 00:11:56,253 --> 00:11:57,961 he left with high hopes 180 00:11:57,961 --> 00:11:59,713 to set out for Banebower Wood. 181 00:12:01,669 --> 00:12:04,713 And we went with him, because that's what friends do. 182 00:12:05,753 --> 00:12:06,961 Except Donkey. 183 00:12:06,961 --> 00:12:08,505 He doesn't love to travel. 184 00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:10,421 -I prefer a staycation. 185 00:12:10,421 --> 00:12:11,629 Or should I say... 186 00:12:11,629 --> 00:12:13,629 a braycation? 187 00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:21,045 ♪♪ 188 00:12:21,045 --> 00:12:26,085 ♪♪ 189 00:12:26,085 --> 00:12:31,129 ♪♪ 190 00:12:31,129 --> 00:12:36,169 ♪♪ 191 00:12:38,753 --> 00:12:46,837 ♪♪ 192 00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:49,297 -I see dead people. 193 00:12:49,297 --> 00:12:51,297 -Feels like a wild goose chase to me. 194 00:12:51,297 --> 00:12:53,461 And I should know. 195 00:12:53,461 --> 00:12:55,377 He knows what he's doing. 196 00:12:55,377 --> 00:12:56,797 Ow! 197 00:12:56,797 --> 00:12:58,421 Fiends! 198 00:13:00,337 --> 00:13:02,337 Fiends! 199 00:13:06,337 --> 00:13:08,877 Do you know how long I searched for her? 200 00:13:08,877 --> 00:13:10,253 Do you?! 201 00:13:11,253 --> 00:13:12,753 She was perfect! 202 00:13:12,753 --> 00:13:14,877 She was beautiful! 203 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:19,085 She fit me like this hand fits this glove! 204 00:13:19,085 --> 00:13:21,921 I was bound to her with my life and do you know what they did?! 205 00:13:21,921 --> 00:13:23,797 Do you?! 206 00:13:23,797 --> 00:13:26,005 They ate her! 207 00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,877 They pulled her right out from under me 208 00:13:27,877 --> 00:13:29,461 and ate her! 209 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,337 -Ugh, a maiden?! 210 00:13:32,337 --> 00:13:33,921 -I'm the Captain of the King's Guard 211 00:13:33,921 --> 00:13:35,753 I don't have time for maidens! 212 00:13:35,753 --> 00:13:36,921 My horse! 213 00:13:36,921 --> 00:13:39,337 The Ogres ate my horse! 214 00:13:41,085 --> 00:13:43,129 I'm in shock. 215 00:13:43,129 --> 00:13:45,505 Why am I in shock? 216 00:13:45,505 --> 00:13:47,297 Look at my leg. 217 00:13:47,297 --> 00:13:49,877 Ah! Look at my leg. 218 00:13:49,877 --> 00:13:51,669 -Oh. 219 00:13:51,669 --> 00:13:52,753 -Don't... 220 00:13:52,753 --> 00:13:54,213 tell me what it looks like. 221 00:13:54,213 --> 00:13:55,337 Just tell me if it's still attached to me. 222 00:13:56,505 --> 00:13:58,005 They ate my horse. Ow! 223 00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:01,421 -Can you move the foot? 224 00:14:01,421 --> 00:14:02,837 -Uh-huh. 225 00:14:02,837 --> 00:14:04,337 -Then it's still attached. 226 00:14:05,961 --> 00:14:08,045 -Lost a horse but... 227 00:14:08,045 --> 00:14:09,877 kept a foot. 228 00:14:11,377 --> 00:14:12,921 That's a bit o' luck. 229 00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:16,213 -You have some skill at healing, fellow. 230 00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:23,877 You're very brave to venture thus far into the hinterland. 231 00:14:23,877 --> 00:14:26,505 Or very foolish. 232 00:14:26,505 --> 00:14:28,505 Shall I guess which? 233 00:14:28,505 --> 00:14:30,877 -I'm after gettin' a wife. 234 00:14:30,877 --> 00:14:32,753 -In Banebower Wood? 235 00:14:32,753 --> 00:14:34,045 Well... 236 00:14:34,045 --> 00:14:35,461 I'm a fighter not a lover, 237 00:14:35,461 --> 00:14:38,129 so I'm no expert but... 238 00:14:38,129 --> 00:14:40,753 there's nothing in this foul place but death and dark magic. 239 00:14:43,297 --> 00:14:46,045 -You've done me no small service, countryman. 240 00:14:46,045 --> 00:14:47,753 I will remember. 241 00:14:51,169 --> 00:14:54,213 Call at the Castle for the Captain of the King's Guard. 242 00:14:54,213 --> 00:14:56,085 I will requite thee. 243 00:14:56,085 --> 00:14:58,169 And if you find that wife... 244 00:14:58,169 --> 00:14:59,505 tell me if she has a sister. 245 00:15:00,629 --> 00:15:03,377 But Banebower is cursed, man. 246 00:15:03,377 --> 00:15:06,129 You'll not find what you're looking for in there. 247 00:15:06,129 --> 00:15:14,129 ♪♪ 248 00:15:14,129 --> 00:15:22,213 ♪♪ 249 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,837 -Uh, guys? 250 00:15:24,837 --> 00:15:26,297 Do you smell that? 251 00:15:26,297 --> 00:15:27,461 -I can't smell a thing over the stench of 252 00:15:27,461 --> 00:15:28,545 Ogres. 253 00:15:29,753 --> 00:15:30,961 -Duck. -Duck. 254 00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:32,045 -Goose. 255 00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:34,005 -No, not Goose. Duck. 256 00:15:34,005 --> 00:15:39,045 ♪♪ 257 00:15:39,045 --> 00:15:44,085 ♪♪ 258 00:15:44,085 --> 00:15:49,085 ♪♪ 259 00:15:49,085 --> 00:15:54,129 ♪♪ 260 00:16:04,045 --> 00:16:05,129 -Whoa! 261 00:16:07,797 --> 00:16:09,213 Ah! 262 00:16:13,961 --> 00:16:15,461 Ah! 263 00:16:20,421 --> 00:16:22,629 Ah! 264 00:16:28,669 --> 00:16:30,129 Ah! 265 00:16:51,585 --> 00:16:53,505 Ah! 266 00:16:57,005 --> 00:16:58,129 -Uh... 267 00:16:58,129 --> 00:16:59,713 He's over here. 268 00:16:59,713 --> 00:17:00,921 -Is he dead? 269 00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:02,421 -No. 270 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,545 He's, uh, napping. 271 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:05,837 -Looks dead. 272 00:17:07,169 --> 00:17:09,337 -Oh. 273 00:17:11,461 --> 00:17:13,005 Oh. 274 00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:14,253 -He's okay. 275 00:17:14,253 --> 00:17:15,669 -Oh. 276 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,005 -What? 277 00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:26,377 ♪♪ 278 00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:30,005 -Cats. 279 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:32,169 Very dangerous. You go first. 280 00:17:34,169 --> 00:17:38,629 ♪♪ 281 00:17:40,505 --> 00:17:46,169 ♪♪ 282 00:17:48,169 --> 00:17:56,629 ♪♪ 283 00:17:56,629 --> 00:18:05,045 ♪♪ 284 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:12,085 Why have you come? 285 00:18:14,797 --> 00:18:15,713 -I seek the Hag -- 286 00:18:18,713 --> 00:18:22,213 What is your wish? 287 00:18:22,213 --> 00:18:23,837 -I wish -- 288 00:18:27,045 --> 00:18:28,297 I wish -- 289 00:18:29,797 --> 00:18:31,297 Water. 290 00:18:31,297 --> 00:18:32,921 -If you wish for water, go to a well! 291 00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:34,461 If you have a wish, you go to a Witch. 292 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,045 If you want to live a long life, 293 00:18:36,045 --> 00:18:38,297 you don't interrupt a Witch when she is working! 294 00:18:38,297 --> 00:18:39,461 Oh! 295 00:18:41,045 --> 00:18:42,753 -Fine. Water. 296 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,213 All better? 297 00:18:53,377 --> 00:18:55,129 Leave payment on the table 298 00:18:55,129 --> 00:18:56,421 on your way out -- What have you got? 299 00:18:56,421 --> 00:18:57,713 a rock. 300 00:18:57,713 --> 00:18:58,921 Not surprised. 301 00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:01,585 Are you a Wizard?! 302 00:19:01,585 --> 00:19:04,005 -A Goatherd, actually. 303 00:19:04,005 --> 00:19:05,461 Can I, please, have my stone back. 304 00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,461 -No refunds no exchanges! 305 00:19:07,461 --> 00:19:08,461 I -- 306 00:19:08,461 --> 00:19:09,837 wish for another wish! 307 00:19:09,837 --> 00:19:12,297 -Technically make three wishes. 308 00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:14,461 And I warn you, the more wishes you make, 309 00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:17,669 the more complicated your life will become. 310 00:19:20,505 --> 00:19:22,297 What's your wish? 311 00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:24,753 -A wife. 312 00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:27,337 I wish -- for a wife. 313 00:19:27,337 --> 00:19:29,297 That's why I came. 314 00:19:29,297 --> 00:19:30,461 -Why? 315 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,669 -I'm lonely. 316 00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:33,005 -Get a pet. 317 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,753 -Well, I sleep with my Donkey... 318 00:19:34,753 --> 00:19:36,421 -And you 're wondering why you don't have a wife? 319 00:19:36,421 --> 00:19:37,797 You don't want a wife. 320 00:19:37,797 --> 00:19:40,085 Aggamemnon, look what happened to him. 321 00:19:40,085 --> 00:19:41,585 -I don't know who that is. 322 00:19:41,585 --> 00:19:43,297 But I know I want to take a wife. 323 00:19:43,297 --> 00:19:46,669 -No! You want a maidservant! A trophy! 324 00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:50,297 A baby oven! A mother! That's what you want! 325 00:19:50,297 --> 00:19:51,421 -No. -Yes! 326 00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:52,797 You don't even know 327 00:19:52,797 --> 00:19:54,585 what you want! 328 00:19:54,585 --> 00:19:56,045 I do! 329 00:19:56,045 --> 00:19:57,585 I want... 330 00:19:57,585 --> 00:19:59,253 that thing. 331 00:19:59,253 --> 00:20:02,005 That thing where you just look at someone, 332 00:20:02,005 --> 00:20:03,461 and they look back at you, 333 00:20:03,461 --> 00:20:05,461 and you see them. 334 00:20:05,461 --> 00:20:08,213 You see them, and they see you, 335 00:20:08,213 --> 00:20:09,797 and you're just there, together, 336 00:20:09,797 --> 00:20:12,461 Two people that know each other. 337 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,297 That know what's inside each other's heart, 338 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,545 and you laugh, and you quarrel, 339 00:20:16,545 --> 00:20:19,337 and you just are more yourself when they're there, 340 00:20:19,337 --> 00:20:21,085 than you could ever be when they aren't. 341 00:20:23,085 --> 00:20:24,505 That's what I want. 342 00:20:27,045 --> 00:20:28,421 For a wife. 343 00:20:30,545 --> 00:20:31,837 -You... 344 00:20:31,837 --> 00:20:34,045 have someone? You feel that? 345 00:20:34,045 --> 00:20:35,297 For someone? 346 00:20:35,297 --> 00:20:36,421 No. 347 00:20:36,421 --> 00:20:38,253 But I can. 348 00:20:38,253 --> 00:20:40,713 I know there is someone like that for me. 349 00:20:42,421 --> 00:20:44,253 You need a matchmaker. 350 00:20:44,253 --> 00:20:45,585 Not a Witch. 351 00:20:45,585 --> 00:20:47,421 -I'm cursed. 352 00:20:47,421 --> 00:20:48,921 At birth. 353 00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:50,961 By the Evil Wizard. 354 00:20:50,961 --> 00:20:53,005 He said I'll never take a wife. 355 00:20:53,005 --> 00:20:56,421 Can never take a wife, eh. 356 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,005 Exact words? 357 00:21:01,837 --> 00:21:04,961 Sit. 358 00:21:04,961 --> 00:21:07,297 Eat. 359 00:21:07,297 --> 00:21:10,129 -Now, mind you boy, don't eat her soup! 360 00:21:14,337 --> 00:21:16,169 -How was it? 361 00:21:16,169 --> 00:21:18,337 -It's not... 362 00:21:18,337 --> 00:21:19,377 half bad. 363 00:21:20,837 --> 00:21:22,545 -Take off your clothes. 364 00:21:22,545 --> 00:21:24,585 -Is that... 365 00:21:24,585 --> 00:21:26,085 necessary? 366 00:21:27,337 --> 00:21:28,713 -Yes. 367 00:21:33,545 --> 00:21:36,297 Mirror, mirror, old and grey, 368 00:21:36,297 --> 00:21:38,921 show me true things far away, 369 00:21:38,921 --> 00:21:40,797 show me where this Man resides, 370 00:21:40,797 --> 00:21:43,337 and who he lives with there besides. 371 00:21:44,585 --> 00:21:46,005 You live with your mother? 372 00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:49,169 There's definitely something wrong with you. 373 00:21:51,461 --> 00:21:53,337 I'll take the job. 374 00:21:57,921 --> 00:21:59,877 Can you close your eyes? 375 00:21:59,877 --> 00:22:01,377 Please. 376 00:22:01,377 --> 00:22:03,377 Close them! Good! 377 00:22:03,377 --> 00:22:05,297 I will help you break this curse. 378 00:22:05,297 --> 00:22:08,961 But first you will accomplish three tasks of my devising. 379 00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:12,505 It shall be done before thirteen moons have waxed and waned. 380 00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:14,085 And not a second longer. 381 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,213 Close them! 382 00:22:17,213 --> 00:22:19,337 And... 383 00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:20,921 I will be paid! 384 00:22:20,921 --> 00:22:22,629 For this service, you shall give me, 385 00:22:22,629 --> 00:22:25,753 for my very own to keep... 386 00:22:25,753 --> 00:22:27,129 your first born child. 387 00:22:29,505 --> 00:22:31,505 You want a wife or don't you? 388 00:22:31,505 --> 00:22:33,337 -Give me your three tasks, Witch. 389 00:22:33,337 --> 00:22:35,961 I shall accomplish them within thirteen moons. 390 00:22:35,961 --> 00:22:37,921 And when I have a wife... 391 00:22:37,921 --> 00:22:39,877 I shall give to you my first born child 392 00:22:39,877 --> 00:22:41,169 for your very own to keep. 393 00:22:41,169 --> 00:22:42,337 Done! 394 00:22:46,921 --> 00:22:49,337 And you don't think this wife of yours 395 00:22:49,337 --> 00:22:50,753 will have anything to say about it? 396 00:22:51,961 --> 00:22:53,585 -About... 397 00:22:53,585 --> 00:22:56,129 Chucking away your firstborn. 398 00:22:56,129 --> 00:22:57,505 -Wait. Was that bit negotiable? 399 00:22:57,505 --> 00:22:59,085 Could have haggled. 400 00:22:59,085 --> 00:23:00,629 Just blithely promised away 401 00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:02,585 some poor, sweet gal's little pookie. 402 00:23:02,585 --> 00:23:05,461 Nine months of nausea, stretch marks, 403 00:23:05,461 --> 00:23:07,377 aching back, swollen ankles, 404 00:23:07,377 --> 00:23:09,713 and 18 hours frequently deadly 405 00:23:09,713 --> 00:23:12,005 excruciating labor... 406 00:23:12,005 --> 00:23:14,421 Hubby just grabs the little bean, head all steaming, 407 00:23:14,421 --> 00:23:17,253 and gives it to some old lady he met in the woods! 408 00:23:17,253 --> 00:23:18,585 Yeah, I'm sure she'll be very happy 409 00:23:18,585 --> 00:23:19,713 when she finds out about that! 410 00:23:19,713 --> 00:23:21,005 Just interesting. 411 00:23:21,005 --> 00:23:22,669 Weensy bit man-centric thinking 412 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,045 if you ask me. 413 00:23:24,045 --> 00:23:25,585 Nevertheless... Ready-set-go! 414 00:23:30,045 --> 00:23:31,713 Can you... 415 00:23:31,713 --> 00:23:32,961 not do that... 416 00:23:32,961 --> 00:23:34,045 -Do what? 417 00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:35,377 -Look at me. 418 00:23:35,377 --> 00:23:38,253 -Oh, em, yes. 419 00:23:38,253 --> 00:23:40,377 Sorry. 420 00:23:47,253 --> 00:23:49,669 -Can you, please, give me the first task? 421 00:23:49,669 --> 00:23:51,629 I'd like to get started. 422 00:23:52,877 --> 00:23:56,129 -You will lift the Sacred Caber of Tam Lin. 423 00:23:57,461 --> 00:23:59,461 -Lift the Caber... 424 00:23:59,461 --> 00:24:00,837 Great. 425 00:24:00,837 --> 00:24:02,877 -Ten thousand times. 426 00:24:02,877 --> 00:24:05,461 -Ten times! It shall be done. -Thousand. 427 00:24:05,461 --> 00:24:07,713 -A thousand, em... 428 00:24:07,713 --> 00:24:11,377 -Ten thousand liftings of the Caber. 429 00:24:12,545 --> 00:24:14,629 -Can we have a second task, then? 430 00:24:14,629 --> 00:24:16,253 Maybe come back to the caber lifting one? 431 00:24:16,253 --> 00:24:17,713 You will lift it by the strength 432 00:24:17,713 --> 00:24:20,837 of the body the gods gave you alone. 433 00:24:20,837 --> 00:24:24,377 Return the instant it is done. 434 00:24:25,377 --> 00:24:27,169 13 moons. Three tasks. 435 00:24:27,169 --> 00:24:29,169 No one's getting any younger. 436 00:24:29,169 --> 00:24:31,337 You want a wife? Get started. 437 00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:32,337 Go! 438 00:24:38,629 --> 00:24:42,085 Here's looking at you, kid. 439 00:24:43,085 --> 00:24:45,337 -Um, lost my kid. Sorry. 440 00:24:45,337 --> 00:24:48,129 -Genius. Go back in there. 441 00:24:48,129 --> 00:24:53,461 ♪♪ 442 00:24:58,297 --> 00:24:59,797 -Rosebud. 443 00:25:01,629 --> 00:25:04,005 -I don't know why I said it! 444 00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:08,505 Firstborn child. What a cliché. 445 00:25:09,669 --> 00:25:10,961 Oh. 446 00:25:10,961 --> 00:25:16,921 ♪♪ 447 00:25:31,085 --> 00:25:32,797 It's a poisoned shirt. 448 00:25:33,797 --> 00:25:35,421 I'll boil him! 449 00:25:35,421 --> 00:25:43,585 ♪♪ 450 00:25:48,253 --> 00:25:51,377 -10,000?! -You won't lift it once. 451 00:25:51,377 --> 00:25:53,713 You can't even lift that butter churn! 452 00:25:53,713 --> 00:25:55,421 -What did you pay her with, my lad? 453 00:25:55,421 --> 00:25:58,253 -You didn't promise her any goats, you halfwit? 454 00:25:58,253 --> 00:26:00,337 -No, Mam! 455 00:26:00,337 --> 00:26:02,045 Do you take me for a fool? 456 00:26:02,045 --> 00:26:03,629 -Yes! 457 00:26:06,921 --> 00:26:08,921 I'll lift it. 458 00:26:08,921 --> 00:26:11,837 10,000 times. 459 00:26:13,297 --> 00:26:15,753 -Well, at least you didn't eat the hag's soup! 460 00:26:15,753 --> 00:26:22,921 ♪♪ 461 00:26:22,921 --> 00:26:30,085 ♪♪ 462 00:26:30,085 --> 00:26:32,005 -What's the fool doing? 463 00:26:32,005 --> 00:26:34,421 -He's gonna lift it. 464 00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:39,337 -Eventually. 465 00:26:39,337 --> 00:26:40,585 -No. 466 00:26:42,045 --> 00:26:44,169 -He has no technique. 467 00:26:44,169 --> 00:26:46,545 And not a lot of muscles, if we're being honest. 468 00:26:46,545 --> 00:26:48,169 -Heck of a try, though. -What?! 469 00:26:48,169 --> 00:26:49,961 Inspiring effort. 470 00:26:49,961 --> 00:26:51,669 -What? He's really trying! 471 00:26:51,669 --> 00:26:55,377 -No, there is no "try." Only "do." 472 00:26:58,877 --> 00:27:00,169 -Should we go with him, 473 00:27:00,169 --> 00:27:02,213 or do you think he needs some space? 474 00:27:02,213 --> 00:27:04,253 -Aaaah! 475 00:27:04,253 --> 00:27:06,213 -Space. -Yeah. 476 00:27:06,213 --> 00:27:08,505 -And as a function of fiscal policy, 477 00:27:08,505 --> 00:27:10,669 the justification for any supply side analysis 478 00:27:10,669 --> 00:27:12,877 in the distribution of essential goods and services 479 00:27:12,877 --> 00:27:15,085 in the peasant class -- 480 00:27:15,085 --> 00:27:17,713 Oh, God, am I boring you? 481 00:27:17,713 --> 00:27:19,629 -I'm boring you, aren't I? -No, milady. 482 00:27:19,629 --> 00:27:20,797 Not at all. 483 00:27:21,797 --> 00:27:24,585 Okay, so, anyway, 484 00:27:24,585 --> 00:27:26,585 Reginald the Terrifically Opaque 485 00:27:26,585 --> 00:27:28,585 in his treatise on feudal economies 486 00:27:28,585 --> 00:27:30,421 often cites stochastic disruptions 487 00:27:30,421 --> 00:27:33,961 in agrarian supply chains, caused by ogres and the like. 488 00:27:37,797 --> 00:27:43,085 ♪♪ 489 00:27:45,085 --> 00:27:53,337 ♪♪ 490 00:27:53,337 --> 00:28:01,545 ♪♪ 491 00:28:01,545 --> 00:28:04,005 -Oh! You idiot! 492 00:28:04,005 --> 00:28:11,129 ♪♪ 493 00:28:11,129 --> 00:28:18,297 ♪♪ 494 00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:25,421 ♪♪ 495 00:28:31,337 --> 00:28:32,669 -Well? 496 00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,129 Did you lift it? 497 00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:37,129 -No, but -- 498 00:28:37,129 --> 00:28:38,253 -What did I tell you? 499 00:28:40,505 --> 00:28:43,005 -I could lift a house when I was your age. 500 00:28:43,005 --> 00:28:46,129 Of course, I took good care of the body the gods gave me. 501 00:28:50,129 --> 00:28:52,213 -Hey, here's one for you. 502 00:28:52,213 --> 00:28:55,297 A donkey, a mule, and a horse go in a bar. 503 00:28:57,129 --> 00:28:58,085 No, hang on. 504 00:28:58,085 --> 00:29:00,213 So, imagine, right, 505 00:29:00,213 --> 00:29:02,253 there's three mules in a bar, right? 506 00:29:02,253 --> 00:29:03,421 Actually, that's every... 507 00:29:03,421 --> 00:29:09,797 ♪♪ 508 00:29:09,797 --> 00:29:16,129 ♪♪ 509 00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:20,213 Barman says, "No, there's no -- only donkeys allowed." 510 00:29:21,505 --> 00:29:24,129 ♪♪ 511 00:29:24,129 --> 00:29:25,753 Two mules and a donkey go in a bar. 512 00:29:25,753 --> 00:29:27,337 The barman says to the donkey, 513 00:29:27,337 --> 00:29:28,961 "Are you in the -- Are you part of this lot?" 514 00:29:28,961 --> 00:29:30,713 And he goes, "No, I'm nothing to do with them. 515 00:29:30,713 --> 00:29:31,961 Entirely different species." 516 00:29:35,337 --> 00:29:36,797 Have you heard the one about the three-legged goat? 517 00:29:36,797 --> 00:29:38,461 Have you heard about this one? 518 00:29:42,169 --> 00:29:43,585 Yeah, you heard that? 519 00:29:43,585 --> 00:29:47,669 A mule works -- is working at a monastery. 520 00:29:47,669 --> 00:29:52,213 ♪♪ 521 00:29:52,213 --> 00:29:54,505 -The ogre stone! 522 00:29:56,961 --> 00:30:00,797 A goatherd who possesses the ogre stone? 523 00:30:01,961 --> 00:30:03,253 -...walk into the bar. 524 00:30:03,253 --> 00:30:05,505 The barman says, "Why the long face?" 525 00:30:05,505 --> 00:30:07,753 -I won't be long. 526 00:30:07,753 --> 00:30:09,045 -Oh, you've heard that one. 527 00:30:09,045 --> 00:30:16,461 ♪♪ 528 00:30:16,461 --> 00:30:23,877 ♪♪ 529 00:30:23,877 --> 00:30:25,585 -Hello, Mother. 530 00:30:31,797 --> 00:30:34,797 Darling, you look horrible. 531 00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:40,713 Ah! You found it! 532 00:30:40,713 --> 00:30:42,585 -It found me. 533 00:30:44,545 --> 00:30:47,005 -It found you! 534 00:30:50,005 --> 00:30:52,797 -A goatherd gave it to her. -Who? 535 00:30:52,797 --> 00:30:54,297 -A goatherd! 536 00:30:54,297 --> 00:30:58,129 -A gopher? Imagine that. 537 00:30:58,129 --> 00:31:00,961 Amazing things, gophers. 538 00:31:00,961 --> 00:31:04,377 -She thinks it's the one the Evil Wizard had. 539 00:31:04,377 --> 00:31:08,505 -Is it the one the Evil Wizard had? 540 00:31:08,505 --> 00:31:13,713 Imagine it falling into the hands of a gopher! 541 00:31:13,713 --> 00:31:15,421 -Can you use it, husband? 542 00:31:15,421 --> 00:31:18,045 -You know I can use this. 543 00:31:18,045 --> 00:31:24,253 To transmute the power locked within is trivial! 544 00:31:24,253 --> 00:31:30,253 Simply channel the plasmic radiance of a thousand suns 545 00:31:30,253 --> 00:31:32,877 through the ogre stone's 546 00:31:32,877 --> 00:31:37,921 crystalitic meta-transmagoric substrata, 547 00:31:37,921 --> 00:31:42,461 while invoking the phantasmica esoterica 548 00:31:42,461 --> 00:31:47,377 so that the transmutation doesn't start a chain reaction 549 00:31:47,377 --> 00:31:52,461 that consumes Earth's 34 astral planes 550 00:31:52,461 --> 00:31:55,045 in apocalyptic fire, 551 00:31:55,045 --> 00:32:01,005 freeing the thousand demons of Beelzebub the Destroyer! 552 00:32:01,005 --> 00:32:06,253 To think, this divine power hiding for years 553 00:32:06,253 --> 00:32:10,669 in the clever paws of a lowly gopher! 554 00:32:10,669 --> 00:32:14,837 Be done in a jiffy if I go then, alright. 555 00:32:16,669 --> 00:32:20,129 -The Sultan offered a hundred goats for your hand, darling. 556 00:32:20,129 --> 00:32:22,921 Stay and meet him. You cannot hold out forever. 557 00:32:22,921 --> 00:32:25,045 -I'm sick. 558 00:32:25,045 --> 00:32:27,213 -Are you, darling? 559 00:32:33,877 --> 00:32:36,253 My snot has turned to honey. 560 00:32:36,253 --> 00:32:37,961 What is it, Mother? Is it fatal? 561 00:32:37,961 --> 00:32:42,005 -Darling, have you met someone recently? 562 00:32:43,129 --> 00:32:45,169 -No. 563 00:32:45,169 --> 00:32:47,213 Just the goatherd. 564 00:32:47,213 --> 00:32:49,169 He begged me to take a curse away. 565 00:32:49,169 --> 00:32:51,505 -But you cannot break curses. 566 00:32:51,505 --> 00:32:53,297 -He doesn't know that, does he? 567 00:32:53,297 --> 00:32:55,213 Hmm. 568 00:32:55,213 --> 00:32:56,629 He said he can never take a wife. 569 00:32:56,629 --> 00:32:58,877 It was pitiful. 570 00:32:58,877 --> 00:33:01,961 He had the ogre stone. 571 00:33:01,961 --> 00:33:04,129 He could be Zeus. 572 00:33:04,129 --> 00:33:06,253 Sometimes he disguises himself as a -- 573 00:33:06,253 --> 00:33:07,877 -He is not Zeus. 574 00:33:07,877 --> 00:33:11,629 I think I would know Zeus if I saw Zeus naked. 575 00:33:13,629 --> 00:33:16,877 -You saw the goatherd naked? 576 00:33:16,877 --> 00:33:19,129 Well, well, well, well, well. 577 00:33:19,129 --> 00:33:20,797 That's progress. 578 00:33:20,797 --> 00:33:26,505 -Mother, he is just an ordinary, garden variety goatherd! 579 00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,837 With blue eyes. 580 00:33:28,837 --> 00:33:33,005 -Fire in the hole! 581 00:33:33,005 --> 00:33:34,669 -So, how many goats does he have? 582 00:33:34,669 --> 00:33:37,877 No! He's -- 583 00:33:37,877 --> 00:33:39,921 He's a lowly halfwit goatherd 584 00:33:39,921 --> 00:33:42,629 I hoodwinked out of the ogre stone. 585 00:33:42,629 --> 00:33:45,297 Smell this. Is it enchanted? 586 00:33:48,797 --> 00:33:50,877 -No, darling, it's rancid. 587 00:33:50,877 --> 00:33:52,753 It's not enchanted. 588 00:33:57,669 --> 00:33:59,253 -Voila! 589 00:34:01,877 --> 00:34:03,797 I hope this helps. 590 00:34:03,797 --> 00:34:13,505 ♪♪ 591 00:34:13,505 --> 00:34:15,253 -Is this for the butterflies, the honey snot, 592 00:34:15,253 --> 00:34:16,961 and the rainbows? -No, dear. 593 00:34:16,961 --> 00:34:19,837 It's for your hair. It's a disaster. 594 00:34:22,085 --> 00:34:25,253 If the goatherd has a lot of goats, or a castle, 595 00:34:25,253 --> 00:34:28,421 you could do worse. Maybe ask him, if he comes back. 596 00:34:28,421 --> 00:34:30,253 -He isn't coming back. 597 00:34:31,629 --> 00:34:34,253 The task I gave him is impossible. 598 00:34:34,253 --> 00:34:42,085 ♪♪ 599 00:34:44,961 --> 00:34:52,337 ♪♪ 600 00:34:52,337 --> 00:34:59,669 ♪♪ 601 00:35:02,169 --> 00:35:03,669 -Yeah! 602 00:35:03,669 --> 00:35:05,961 You did it! I knew you could do it! 603 00:35:05,961 --> 00:35:07,337 Whoo-hoo! 604 00:35:07,337 --> 00:35:11,753 ♪♪ 605 00:35:15,253 --> 00:35:19,045 -Only 9,999 to go! 606 00:35:20,337 --> 00:35:22,505 -Well, I once ate 50 eggs. -Huh? 607 00:35:22,505 --> 00:35:24,253 -What is wrong with you?! 608 00:35:24,253 --> 00:35:32,669 ♪♪ 609 00:35:32,669 --> 00:35:41,129 ♪♪ 610 00:35:41,129 --> 00:35:49,545 ♪♪ 611 00:35:49,545 --> 00:35:58,005 ♪♪ 612 00:35:58,005 --> 00:36:06,421 ♪♪ 613 00:36:06,421 --> 00:36:14,877 ♪♪ 614 00:36:14,877 --> 00:36:23,297 ♪♪ 615 00:36:23,297 --> 00:36:31,713 ♪♪ 616 00:36:31,713 --> 00:36:40,169 ♪♪ 617 00:36:40,169 --> 00:36:48,585 ♪♪ 618 00:36:48,585 --> 00:36:57,045 ♪♪ 619 00:36:57,045 --> 00:37:05,461 ♪♪ 620 00:37:07,461 --> 00:37:16,713 ♪♪ 621 00:37:16,713 --> 00:37:25,921 ♪♪ 622 00:37:47,421 --> 00:37:48,753 -Bit longer than I was hoping. 623 00:37:48,753 --> 00:37:52,129 -11 months. First task of three! 624 00:37:52,129 --> 00:37:53,545 -I thought you'd be impressed that I -- 625 00:37:53,545 --> 00:37:56,213 -Impressed? Why would I be impressed? 626 00:37:56,213 --> 00:37:57,629 You can't impress a witch. 627 00:37:57,629 --> 00:38:00,085 Succeed, fail -- makes no difference to me. 628 00:38:00,085 --> 00:38:02,213 You probably don't even want me to give you the second task. 629 00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:03,669 -I do! 630 00:38:03,669 --> 00:38:04,797 -Probably think it's a big accomplishment, 631 00:38:04,797 --> 00:38:06,797 lifting a silly piece of wood. 632 00:38:06,797 --> 00:38:09,169 "Oh, look at me. I tossed the Caber. 633 00:38:09,169 --> 00:38:13,005 Look at my big muscles. Look at my strong legs. 634 00:38:13,005 --> 00:38:15,713 Look at my exceedingly toned stomach." 635 00:38:15,713 --> 00:38:17,545 You'll probably spend your life drunk, 636 00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:20,877 bragging about it with your mates at the tavern. 637 00:38:20,877 --> 00:38:23,045 -Are you upset about something? -No. I -- 638 00:38:23,045 --> 00:38:25,629 -You seem upset. -I'm fine. 639 00:38:25,629 --> 00:38:28,421 -Did you...do something to your hair? 640 00:38:30,421 --> 00:38:31,669 -Bless you. 641 00:38:34,005 --> 00:38:35,961 Would you like to give me the second task? 642 00:38:35,961 --> 00:38:37,421 -Why should I? 643 00:38:37,421 --> 00:38:38,961 -I thought we had a bargain. 644 00:38:40,129 --> 00:38:44,169 -Each task is harder than the last, you understand. 645 00:38:44,169 --> 00:38:46,921 Set any travail, witch. 646 00:38:46,921 --> 00:38:49,297 I shall accomplish it. 647 00:38:49,297 --> 00:38:51,253 -Do you still live with your mother? 648 00:38:52,585 --> 00:38:54,461 -Yes. -Uh-huh. 649 00:38:54,461 --> 00:38:57,961 You shall seek out the ogre's keep. 650 00:38:57,961 --> 00:39:01,505 You shall slay the ogre king and his many henchmen, 651 00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:04,921 and you shall take possession of his castle. 652 00:39:04,921 --> 00:39:06,669 And redecorate it. 653 00:39:08,421 --> 00:39:09,961 -I'm not all that experienced -- -You said any travail. 654 00:39:09,961 --> 00:39:11,421 -I meant metaphorically speaking. 655 00:39:11,421 --> 00:39:13,045 I could kill, like, many, many spiders or -- 656 00:39:13,045 --> 00:39:14,545 -Ogres. Just kill the ogres. -Or if you had, like -- 657 00:39:14,545 --> 00:39:16,297 an infestation of termites -- -Just do it! 658 00:39:16,297 --> 00:39:17,797 -...like, a big mound of them -- -You said, "Any travail." 659 00:39:17,797 --> 00:39:19,421 -The ogres have plagued our land for 20 years. 660 00:39:19,421 --> 00:39:21,085 -"I will accomplish it." -Whole armies have tried -- 661 00:39:21,085 --> 00:39:22,713 -Like, in a big, manly voice, only you didn't mean it 662 00:39:22,713 --> 00:39:24,045 'cause you're a liar! -It's just very difficult 663 00:39:24,045 --> 00:39:25,585 for someone who's not very experienced 664 00:39:25,585 --> 00:39:27,797 with swords and things to kill a huge number 665 00:39:27,797 --> 00:39:31,085 of well-defended ogres inside their castle! 666 00:39:31,085 --> 00:39:33,669 And redecorating, that's like "two for one" tasks, anyway. 667 00:39:33,669 --> 00:39:38,129 -It's not a suggestion. It's a travail. 668 00:39:38,129 --> 00:39:41,377 To aid you in this dangerous trial, 669 00:39:41,377 --> 00:39:46,713 I will bestow unto you a weapon of unusual power. 670 00:39:48,297 --> 00:39:51,129 -Well, I've fought the ogres plenty in my day, 671 00:39:51,129 --> 00:39:53,545 but never with one of these. 672 00:39:53,545 --> 00:39:57,213 -So, but...can you teach me to fight? 673 00:39:57,213 --> 00:40:00,213 -I could, but it would be a sore trade 674 00:40:00,213 --> 00:40:02,837 for the service you did my leg. 675 00:40:02,837 --> 00:40:04,129 Better you take back your crook 676 00:40:04,129 --> 00:40:05,961 than take up a sword at your age. 677 00:40:08,297 --> 00:40:10,337 Did you find that wife, by the way? 678 00:40:11,837 --> 00:40:13,337 Not yet. 679 00:40:15,797 --> 00:40:18,085 -And so, with the mighty spoon at his side, 680 00:40:18,085 --> 00:40:19,421 he would bravely set out 681 00:40:19,421 --> 00:40:22,377 to lay siege to the ogre's keep... 682 00:40:22,377 --> 00:40:24,169 by himself. 683 00:40:24,169 --> 00:40:26,421 Which in retrospect was... 684 00:40:26,421 --> 00:40:28,753 but anyway, it took a lot of courage. 685 00:40:28,753 --> 00:40:31,213 -They 'll sing songs about this. -No, they won't. 686 00:40:31,213 --> 00:40:33,085 -If we win, they will. -We won't win. 687 00:40:33,085 --> 00:40:34,421 -But if we do somehow win, 688 00:40:34,421 --> 00:40:35,921 they 'll go off on the songs about it. 689 00:40:35,921 --> 00:40:37,921 -No, they won't. We're all going to die. 690 00:40:37,921 --> 00:40:39,505 Some of us will get eaten. 691 00:40:39,505 --> 00:40:41,877 -I long for the gardens of Cordoba, 692 00:40:41,877 --> 00:40:43,505 but first must come the fighting. 693 00:40:43,505 --> 00:40:46,045 But then the gardens. -God, you're weird. 694 00:40:47,085 --> 00:40:48,545 -The man with the plan! 695 00:40:48,545 --> 00:40:50,421 -What plan? There's no plan. 696 00:40:50,421 --> 00:40:52,921 -There is a plan. He's got the spoon. 697 00:40:52,921 --> 00:40:54,629 -What spoon? That spoon? 698 00:40:54,629 --> 00:40:57,797 -Yeah. That spoon! 699 00:41:01,921 --> 00:41:04,085 -Off you go, bucket-head! 700 00:41:04,085 --> 00:41:10,877 ♪♪ 701 00:41:17,461 --> 00:41:18,753 -Hmm. 702 00:41:18,753 --> 00:41:20,753 -We're going to need a bigger spoon. 703 00:41:22,297 --> 00:41:23,837 And a bigger hat... 704 00:41:23,837 --> 00:41:30,461 ♪♪ 705 00:41:37,253 --> 00:41:39,837 -Honestly, that went better than I expected. 706 00:41:39,837 --> 00:41:45,837 -Aaaaaaah! 707 00:41:50,753 --> 00:41:53,169 -It was around this point that the man began to see 708 00:41:53,169 --> 00:41:55,129 that his assault on the ogre's keep 709 00:41:55,129 --> 00:41:56,921 may have been hasty, 710 00:41:56,921 --> 00:41:58,837 and once inside the courtyard, 711 00:41:58,837 --> 00:42:02,629 the flaws in his plan quickly began to reveal themselves. 712 00:42:04,005 --> 00:42:06,797 He'd thought a great deal about how to get in, 713 00:42:06,797 --> 00:42:09,961 but hadn't given as much thought to how to get out. 714 00:42:09,961 --> 00:42:18,629 ♪♪ 715 00:42:18,629 --> 00:42:27,297 ♪♪ 716 00:42:29,297 --> 00:42:36,797 ♪♪ 717 00:42:36,797 --> 00:42:40,169 -No! You idiot! What?! 718 00:42:40,169 --> 00:42:41,797 Not like that! 719 00:42:41,797 --> 00:42:50,337 ♪♪ 720 00:42:54,297 --> 00:42:59,505 ♪♪ 721 00:42:59,505 --> 00:43:04,713 ♪♪ 722 00:43:09,797 --> 00:43:16,753 ♪♪ 723 00:43:16,753 --> 00:43:23,669 ♪♪ 724 00:43:23,669 --> 00:43:30,629 ♪♪ 725 00:43:30,629 --> 00:43:35,253 ♪♪ 726 00:43:35,253 --> 00:43:44,505 ♪♪♪♪ 727 00:43:44,505 --> 00:43:51,421 ♪♪ 728 00:43:56,669 --> 00:44:00,877 How are you going to get a wife if you 're dead? 729 00:44:00,877 --> 00:44:04,005 You think that wives want dead husbands?! 730 00:44:04,005 --> 00:44:07,129 -Maybe! Some of them do! I don't know! 731 00:44:07,129 --> 00:44:08,921 You said take the ogre king's castle! 732 00:44:08,921 --> 00:44:10,713 -Yeah, but with a spoon! 733 00:44:10,713 --> 00:44:13,921 -Well, I couldn't club a field mouse to death with this! 734 00:44:13,921 --> 00:44:15,877 -It's not for clubbing! -Ow! 735 00:44:15,877 --> 00:44:17,585 -It's for cooking! 736 00:44:17,585 --> 00:44:20,297 Soup! Cook soup! 737 00:44:20,297 --> 00:44:23,213 Poison the soup with the spoon. 738 00:44:23,213 --> 00:44:25,961 Ogres eat soup. The soup kills them. 739 00:44:25,961 --> 00:44:28,837 and you take their castle! -Ow! 740 00:44:28,837 --> 00:44:30,421 -And redecorate it! 741 00:44:32,297 --> 00:44:34,837 -Aye, that's a better plan. 742 00:44:34,837 --> 00:44:36,297 Why didn't I think of that? 743 00:44:36,297 --> 00:44:38,253 Could have been a little clearer, but anyway. 744 00:44:38,253 --> 00:44:40,545 -Instructions were on the spoon! 745 00:44:40,545 --> 00:44:42,169 Read the instructions! 746 00:44:42,169 --> 00:44:44,169 What kind of man doesn't read the instructions? 747 00:44:47,461 --> 00:44:51,045 -"The Spoon of Unusual Power. 748 00:44:51,045 --> 00:44:53,253 Add ogrebane. 749 00:44:53,253 --> 00:44:54,753 Stir." 750 00:44:54,753 --> 00:44:56,877 -The instructions were simple. 751 00:44:56,877 --> 00:45:00,961 He was to make a soup, add the little herb of ogrebane, 752 00:45:00,961 --> 00:45:04,085 and stir with the mighty spoon. 753 00:45:04,085 --> 00:45:07,669 After that, the soup would kill a mountain troll. 754 00:45:07,669 --> 00:45:10,169 Or a castle full of ogres. 755 00:45:10,169 --> 00:45:12,213 -Can you make soup? 756 00:45:12,213 --> 00:45:13,545 -Of course. 757 00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:15,877 Mam! 758 00:45:17,837 --> 00:45:19,669 I need your recipe for soup. 759 00:45:21,505 --> 00:45:24,713 -Oh, he wants to be the great and mighty cook now, so he does. 760 00:45:25,797 --> 00:45:27,545 -Mam! 761 00:45:27,545 --> 00:45:30,461 Do you want me living here forever with you? 762 00:45:30,461 --> 00:45:33,213 -And carrots...and turnips. 763 00:45:34,961 --> 00:45:37,297 I was talking to your mother -- 764 00:46:02,713 --> 00:46:04,129 -Oh. 765 00:46:04,129 --> 00:46:11,669 ♪♪ 766 00:46:17,129 --> 00:46:20,377 ♪♪ 767 00:46:20,377 --> 00:46:22,921 -Captain, you are a man. 768 00:46:25,253 --> 00:46:28,753 -Yes, sire, I've always felt that I am. 769 00:46:28,753 --> 00:46:31,921 -And why should a king look down on any worthy man, 770 00:46:31,921 --> 00:46:34,505 so long as he has valor in him? 771 00:46:35,505 --> 00:46:38,629 Give it out among all my people that any soul 772 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:42,169 who rids me of this never-ending curse of ogres 773 00:46:42,169 --> 00:46:44,377 shall earn my daughter's hand. 774 00:46:45,505 --> 00:46:47,585 -Anyone, my king? 775 00:46:47,585 --> 00:46:52,045 -Anyone -- be it the lowliest goatherd or... 776 00:46:54,713 --> 00:46:57,085 ...the captain of my Guard. 777 00:46:57,085 --> 00:47:01,297 ♪♪ 778 00:47:03,961 --> 00:47:05,629 -I made it myself. 779 00:47:05,629 --> 00:47:07,461 A little help, but... 780 00:47:08,713 --> 00:47:13,045 Is it not good? -It's...not half bad. 781 00:47:14,169 --> 00:47:17,377 You 'd be mad to go to the ogre's keep until dark, anyway. 782 00:47:17,377 --> 00:47:18,837 -Maybe you could stay -- -Maybe I could stay -- 783 00:47:18,837 --> 00:47:20,461 -...and have lunch. -...and have lunch 784 00:47:20,461 --> 00:47:21,837 before I go. 785 00:47:23,837 --> 00:47:29,129 ♪♪ 786 00:47:29,129 --> 00:47:34,377 ♪♪ 787 00:47:34,377 --> 00:47:36,169 -The Evil Wizard... 788 00:47:37,545 --> 00:47:39,629 He said I'll never take a wife. 789 00:47:41,005 --> 00:47:43,085 But I'll break that curse. 790 00:47:45,585 --> 00:47:48,169 With your help, I know I can do it. 791 00:47:48,169 --> 00:47:52,585 I see it, like...in my mind. 792 00:47:54,045 --> 00:47:56,585 -You're laughing at me. -No. 793 00:47:56,585 --> 00:47:58,961 -Should have known you can never trust a witch. 794 00:48:02,877 --> 00:48:04,629 I should get going. 795 00:48:07,669 --> 00:48:09,169 -There's one more thing. 796 00:48:10,169 --> 00:48:13,669 We'll need to help you become invisible. 797 00:48:15,085 --> 00:48:16,877 -With magic? 798 00:48:16,877 --> 00:48:19,961 -The witch bestowed on him a mighty disguise, 799 00:48:19,961 --> 00:48:22,297 and with it the ogre stone. 800 00:48:22,297 --> 00:48:24,377 She warned him he must bring to her 801 00:48:24,377 --> 00:48:28,253 the ogre king's golden scalp and his deadly scepter. 802 00:48:28,253 --> 00:48:30,129 And once again she made him promise 803 00:48:30,129 --> 00:48:32,713 to return the instant the task was done. 804 00:48:32,713 --> 00:48:35,797 -I promise I shall return the instant it is done. 805 00:48:37,005 --> 00:48:38,545 -And... 806 00:48:39,837 --> 00:48:41,585 ...don't forget the ogrebane. 807 00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,421 -The ogrebane, yeah. I won't forget. 808 00:48:51,669 --> 00:48:53,545 -Goatherd, wait! 809 00:48:53,545 --> 00:48:57,169 Don't...die. 810 00:48:58,169 --> 00:49:02,297 ♪♪ 811 00:49:05,505 --> 00:49:11,337 ♪♪ 812 00:49:16,421 --> 00:49:17,669 -Mm. 813 00:49:24,961 --> 00:49:27,753 -Oh, go on, hurry up! 814 00:49:27,753 --> 00:49:29,337 Quick! 815 00:49:29,337 --> 00:49:35,045 ♪♪ 816 00:49:35,045 --> 00:49:40,753 ♪♪ 817 00:49:42,753 --> 00:49:47,797 ♪♪ 818 00:49:49,797 --> 00:49:56,753 ♪♪ 819 00:49:56,753 --> 00:50:03,669 ♪♪ 820 00:50:03,669 --> 00:50:10,629 ♪♪ 821 00:50:10,629 --> 00:50:17,585 ♪♪ 822 00:50:17,585 --> 00:50:24,505 ♪♪ 823 00:50:24,505 --> 00:50:31,461 ♪♪ 824 00:50:33,461 --> 00:50:43,337 ♪♪ 825 00:50:43,337 --> 00:50:53,213 ♪♪ 826 00:50:55,213 --> 00:51:02,961 ♪♪ 827 00:51:04,961 --> 00:51:13,837 ♪♪ 828 00:51:13,837 --> 00:51:22,669 ♪♪ 829 00:51:22,669 --> 00:51:31,545 ♪♪ 830 00:51:35,545 --> 00:51:41,753 ♪♪ 831 00:51:43,753 --> 00:51:52,797 ♪♪ 832 00:51:52,797 --> 00:52:01,797 ♪♪ 833 00:52:01,797 --> 00:52:10,837 ♪♪ 834 00:52:10,837 --> 00:52:19,837 ♪♪ 835 00:52:19,837 --> 00:52:21,921 -The horror. 836 00:52:21,921 --> 00:52:23,585 The horror. 837 00:52:23,585 --> 00:52:26,921 ♪♪ 838 00:52:28,921 --> 00:52:37,005 ♪♪ 839 00:52:37,005 --> 00:52:45,085 ♪♪ 840 00:52:45,085 --> 00:52:53,169 ♪♪ 841 00:53:02,921 --> 00:53:09,713 ♪♪ 842 00:53:09,713 --> 00:53:16,545 ♪♪ 843 00:53:16,545 --> 00:53:23,337 ♪♪ 844 00:53:23,337 --> 00:53:30,129 ♪♪ 845 00:53:30,129 --> 00:53:36,961 ♪♪ 846 00:53:36,961 --> 00:53:43,753 ♪♪ 847 00:53:43,753 --> 00:53:46,129 -What are we doing here? 848 00:53:46,129 --> 00:53:48,669 -We're waiting. -Waiting for what? 849 00:53:48,669 --> 00:53:51,045 -She wants us to meet the gopher. 850 00:53:52,045 --> 00:53:53,921 -Goatherd? 851 00:53:53,921 --> 00:53:55,421 What goatherd? 852 00:53:56,421 --> 00:53:58,753 -Don't ask me how many goats he has. 853 00:53:59,753 --> 00:54:02,253 -How many goats does he have? 854 00:54:03,421 --> 00:54:06,753 -Are you sure he's coming, darling? 855 00:54:06,753 --> 00:54:09,085 Yes. 856 00:54:09,085 --> 00:54:10,921 He better be. 857 00:54:10,921 --> 00:54:14,505 -Stand aside! We've come to lay siege to the ogre king's keep! 858 00:54:14,505 --> 00:54:16,005 And the princess's hand 859 00:54:16,005 --> 00:54:18,629 to that man who takes his golden scalp! 860 00:54:20,961 --> 00:54:23,045 We meet again. 861 00:54:23,045 --> 00:54:25,421 I hope you've left some ogres for the rest of us, countryman! 862 00:54:25,421 --> 00:54:27,337 I've yet to avenge my horse! 863 00:54:28,337 --> 00:54:31,045 Is it your mighty spoon you hide behind your back? 864 00:54:33,505 --> 00:54:35,377 Show me your hands, fellow. 865 00:54:38,877 --> 00:54:41,045 The ogre king's fell scepter. 866 00:54:42,045 --> 00:54:43,629 And his golden scalp. 867 00:54:44,629 --> 00:54:47,005 Is this some trick, or... 868 00:54:47,005 --> 00:54:49,629 did you truly best these ogres, by the gods? 869 00:54:49,629 --> 00:54:52,669 -Basically...yes. 870 00:54:52,669 --> 00:54:56,713 But -- -Behold, countrymen, 871 00:54:56,713 --> 00:54:59,045 at long last the Plague of a Thousand Ogres 872 00:54:59,045 --> 00:55:00,877 this day has ended. 873 00:55:02,669 --> 00:55:05,169 And our kingdom has a new champion! 874 00:55:05,169 --> 00:55:07,837 All hail the mighty goatherd! 875 00:55:09,213 --> 00:55:10,797 -Bring him to the King! 876 00:55:12,377 --> 00:55:14,837 -Please, please! I must go to the Banebower Witch! 877 00:55:14,837 --> 00:55:16,085 Please! 878 00:55:31,169 --> 00:55:34,045 -Make way! -Make way for the King's Guard! 879 00:55:34,045 --> 00:55:35,297 -Make way! 880 00:55:35,461 --> 00:55:37,085 -Make way! 881 00:55:38,961 --> 00:55:42,629 -Oh, joyous day! 882 00:55:42,629 --> 00:55:46,877 Captain, I see that here you have brought your king 883 00:55:46,877 --> 00:55:52,169 the very tokens of the enemy he dared never hope to see. 884 00:55:52,169 --> 00:55:59,005 And valor, so nobly and so freely given, must be rewarded. 885 00:55:59,005 --> 00:56:03,421 Thus, as I have decreed, you have earned the hand of -- 886 00:56:03,421 --> 00:56:05,669 -Wait. Wait, sire. 887 00:56:05,669 --> 00:56:07,505 Beg pardon, my king, not to interrupt, 888 00:56:07,505 --> 00:56:10,797 but...truly, sire, such valor that I have 889 00:56:10,797 --> 00:56:13,005 I would not steal from any man. 890 00:56:13,005 --> 00:56:14,837 It was not I who slew the ogre king -- 891 00:56:14,837 --> 00:56:17,877 ...but this... 892 00:56:19,629 --> 00:56:22,377 ...this, uh... 893 00:56:22,377 --> 00:56:28,669 very worthy...person...here. 894 00:56:32,045 --> 00:56:35,377 -And, um...what is he? 895 00:56:35,377 --> 00:56:38,421 -A goatherd, my sovereign. 896 00:56:41,877 --> 00:56:44,877 -Oh. -How many goats does he have? 897 00:56:49,505 --> 00:56:52,297 -Thus, with the Plague of a Thousand Ogres 898 00:56:52,297 --> 00:56:54,753 finally vanquished, let it be known 899 00:56:54,753 --> 00:56:59,213 that to this common-born man I give my consent 900 00:56:59,213 --> 00:57:02,629 that he be betrothed to my daughter, 901 00:57:02,629 --> 00:57:04,169 the prin-- 902 00:57:07,921 --> 00:57:11,421 -My king...the thing is... 903 00:57:11,421 --> 00:57:12,877 -The thing is? 904 00:57:13,877 --> 00:57:16,129 -Well, the thing is... 905 00:57:16,129 --> 00:57:18,253 -I think I would honored to accept! 906 00:57:18,253 --> 00:57:21,045 -He's honored to accept! 907 00:57:21,045 --> 00:57:25,545 The lowliest among us raised on high this day! 908 00:57:29,377 --> 00:57:31,085 No! Wait! 909 00:57:33,585 --> 00:57:37,005 -Not so fast. 910 00:57:40,629 --> 00:57:42,837 Has my face changed so much 911 00:57:42,837 --> 00:57:45,797 since we made our bargain, oh, king? 912 00:57:46,877 --> 00:57:48,505 -"Oh, king"? -Or have you forgotten 913 00:57:48,505 --> 00:57:52,753 the price you promised me then, and so owe to me now, 914 00:57:52,753 --> 00:57:56,421 the wish I granted you, to rid the land of ogres, 915 00:57:56,421 --> 00:57:59,921 now having been fulfilled? 916 00:57:59,921 --> 00:58:01,585 -No man can forget 917 00:58:01,585 --> 00:58:04,505 the Green-Eyed Lady of Banebower Wood, 918 00:58:04,505 --> 00:58:07,253 though time has changed us both. 919 00:58:07,253 --> 00:58:12,545 You did promise me, witch, to break the Evil Wizard's curse 920 00:58:12,545 --> 00:58:14,713 and banish the Plague of A Thousand Ogres, 921 00:58:14,713 --> 00:58:17,797 those many years ago. 922 00:58:17,797 --> 00:58:20,585 But truly, I believe it was by the valor 923 00:58:20,585 --> 00:58:22,421 of this brave goatherd, 924 00:58:22,421 --> 00:58:25,877 and not by any art of yours that we are delivered this day. 925 00:58:25,877 --> 00:58:29,005 -And what does this... goatherd have to say? 926 00:58:30,169 --> 00:58:32,421 -It's your word or hers, my son. 927 00:58:32,421 --> 00:58:34,629 Be careful how you answer. 928 00:58:34,629 --> 00:58:37,005 Here stands my daughter. 929 00:58:45,297 --> 00:58:46,961 -My king... 930 00:58:48,713 --> 00:58:51,461 ...it was she. -Speak up! We can't hear you! 931 00:58:51,461 --> 00:58:53,005 -There's a little gray area, but -- 932 00:58:53,005 --> 00:58:54,837 -Louder! 933 00:58:54,837 --> 00:59:00,921 -The witch it was who gave me The Spoon of Unusual Power -- 934 00:59:00,921 --> 00:59:05,253 -The Spoon of Unusual Power? -It's a spoon. 935 00:59:05,253 --> 00:59:12,005 And she it was who gave me the secret of besting the ogres, 936 00:59:12,005 --> 00:59:15,085 the herb of ogrebane. 937 00:59:19,713 --> 00:59:22,877 -Then it seems we must grant the witch her price. 938 00:59:24,877 --> 00:59:26,713 -Father... 939 00:59:26,713 --> 00:59:28,169 what price? 940 00:59:33,005 --> 00:59:34,877 -Go on, king, 941 00:59:34,877 --> 00:59:38,961 tell your extremely fashionable and rather tall princess 942 00:59:38,961 --> 00:59:40,421 what you agreed to. 943 00:59:42,213 --> 00:59:44,669 -That, um... 944 00:59:44,669 --> 00:59:47,837 How did it go, again? Um, yes. 945 00:59:47,837 --> 00:59:52,877 That no man may marry the princess, unless... 946 00:59:52,877 --> 00:59:54,213 -Unless what? 947 00:59:54,213 --> 00:59:57,169 -Unless he pass a trial of my choosing 948 00:59:57,169 --> 01:00:00,005 and thereby earn my consent to marry the princess. 949 01:00:00,005 --> 01:00:01,545 -Wait! What?! -What?! 950 01:00:01,545 --> 01:00:04,129 -Might not be as bad as it sounds. 951 01:00:04,129 --> 01:00:05,797 -Her consent?! 952 01:00:05,797 --> 01:00:08,461 For me to be married? Hers? 953 01:00:08,461 --> 01:00:11,505 A witchy shut-in who wouldn't know heroic true love 954 01:00:11,505 --> 01:00:13,713 from a bloody hole in the ground? 955 01:00:13,713 --> 01:00:17,461 Oh, that's bloody brilliant, that is! 956 01:00:17,461 --> 01:00:20,337 Alright! Let's have it, then. 957 01:00:20,337 --> 01:00:25,421 Tell us, you -- you -- you witch! 958 01:00:26,921 --> 01:00:29,629 What is this super-duper special trial? 959 01:00:29,629 --> 01:00:30,921 -You don't want to know. 960 01:00:30,921 --> 01:00:33,713 - We do! - We definitely do! 961 01:00:35,921 --> 01:00:40,213 -The princess may be betrothed only to such a skillful soul 962 01:00:40,213 --> 01:00:43,669 who shall perform here, before you all, 963 01:00:43,669 --> 01:00:47,961 the Dance of A Thousand Steps! 964 01:00:50,337 --> 01:00:53,629 -Dance Master! Dance Master! 965 01:00:53,629 --> 01:00:56,877 What's the Dance of a Thousand Steps?! 966 01:00:56,877 --> 01:00:59,585 Is it something the kids are doing these days? 967 01:00:59,585 --> 01:01:01,297 And one thing more -- 968 01:01:01,297 --> 01:01:03,585 this task will be accomplished 969 01:01:03,585 --> 01:01:08,877 before the last grain of sand falls from this hourglass, 970 01:01:08,877 --> 01:01:10,877 or... 971 01:01:10,877 --> 01:01:14,213 she shall never be wed at all! 972 01:01:17,961 --> 01:01:24,797 ♪♪ 973 01:01:24,797 --> 01:01:26,753 -How long will that take? 974 01:01:28,505 --> 01:01:29,921 -One week. 975 01:01:31,169 --> 01:01:33,213 -How do you know that? 976 01:01:36,461 --> 01:01:38,045 -How does he know that? 977 01:01:39,045 --> 01:01:41,421 -Hag! Are you in there, hag? 978 01:01:41,421 --> 01:01:44,045 -I am not a hag! 979 01:01:44,045 --> 01:01:45,253 -You're right. That's a fair point. 980 01:01:45,253 --> 01:01:46,629 I did notice that, actually. 981 01:01:46,629 --> 01:01:48,377 But anyway, you said you would help me. 982 01:01:48,377 --> 01:01:49,961 -Have I not?! 983 01:01:49,961 --> 01:01:52,797 I have done all that I have promised and more. 984 01:01:52,797 --> 01:01:54,337 More than you were worthy of! 985 01:01:54,337 --> 01:01:56,837 -You said you would help me break the curse! 986 01:01:56,837 --> 01:02:00,921 I said you must help yourself to break it! 987 01:02:00,921 --> 01:02:02,461 -Had me slay the ogres. 988 01:02:02,461 --> 01:02:05,129 That second task wasn't even for me, was it? 989 01:02:05,129 --> 01:02:06,505 It was so that you could keep your promise 990 01:02:06,505 --> 01:02:07,753 to help break the curse of the king, 991 01:02:07,753 --> 01:02:09,545 which -- fair point, again -- 992 01:02:09,545 --> 01:02:11,545 might be a little bit more important than my curse. 993 01:02:11,545 --> 01:02:12,545 -First come, first served! 994 01:02:12,545 --> 01:02:14,213 -You were serving two customers 995 01:02:14,213 --> 01:02:15,837 with one bowl of soup! 996 01:02:15,837 --> 01:02:18,005 -What if I was!? -Well, you might have told me! 997 01:02:18,005 --> 01:02:20,377 You might have kept your promise 998 01:02:20,377 --> 01:02:22,169 and come straight back! 999 01:02:22,169 --> 01:02:23,253 You might not have fallen in love 1000 01:02:23,253 --> 01:02:24,669 with the first royal floozy -- 1001 01:02:24,669 --> 01:02:27,545 -Love?! Who said anything about love! 1002 01:02:28,545 --> 01:02:30,877 The king wants me to marry the Princess. 1003 01:02:30,877 --> 01:02:32,377 What am I going to say? 1004 01:02:32,377 --> 01:02:34,253 -You're old enough to be her father! 1005 01:02:34,253 --> 01:02:37,961 -Look, witch, there aren't an infinite of candidates 1006 01:02:37,961 --> 01:02:41,085 lining up to marry a goatherd! 1007 01:02:41,085 --> 01:02:42,921 I mean, look around. 1008 01:02:42,921 --> 01:02:44,877 There's no one else, is there? 1009 01:02:48,253 --> 01:02:51,377 The third task! You promised three! 1010 01:02:51,377 --> 01:02:53,129 -I gave it to you! 1011 01:02:53,129 --> 01:02:54,837 Or weren't you listening? 1012 01:02:54,837 --> 01:02:58,337 Go! Learn the Dance of A Thousand Steps 1013 01:02:58,337 --> 01:03:02,085 so you can have your princess and live happily ever after. 1014 01:03:02,085 --> 01:03:03,877 -But -- -Do you want a wife? 1015 01:03:03,877 --> 01:03:07,421 Or don't you? -I can't dance! 1016 01:03:07,421 --> 01:03:09,797 I can't dance! 1017 01:03:09,797 --> 01:03:13,045 I can't dance a dance of two steps, never mind a thousand! 1018 01:03:13,045 --> 01:03:14,753 And even if I could dance, 1019 01:03:14,753 --> 01:03:16,629 I certainly couldn't dance in front of other people! 1020 01:03:16,629 --> 01:03:17,797 I don't know why. My mouth goes dry, 1021 01:03:17,797 --> 01:03:19,253 my knees start to shake. 1022 01:03:19,253 --> 01:03:21,129 It makes me want to lose my soup -- 1023 01:03:21,129 --> 01:03:23,421 in both directions! 1024 01:03:23,421 --> 01:03:25,213 You saw me out there! 1025 01:03:25,213 --> 01:03:27,629 The only thing I am capable of doing 1026 01:03:27,629 --> 01:03:31,877 in front of a crowd of people is drooling on myself! 1027 01:03:31,877 --> 01:03:37,045 A dance?! Are you daft, witch?! 1028 01:03:38,045 --> 01:03:40,129 How will I even learn it? 1029 01:03:40,129 --> 01:03:41,585 -Figure it out. 1030 01:03:42,585 --> 01:03:44,461 -The payment. 1031 01:03:44,461 --> 01:03:49,377 My firstborn -- there won't be one if I fail. 1032 01:03:49,377 --> 01:03:51,337 Don't you want a child, witch? 1033 01:03:58,253 --> 01:03:59,753 This isn't fair. 1034 01:04:04,129 --> 01:04:07,545 -No. It isn't. 1035 01:04:07,545 --> 01:04:15,585 ♪♪ 1036 01:04:15,585 --> 01:04:23,629 ♪♪ 1037 01:04:27,421 --> 01:04:30,169 You! -Him. 1038 01:04:32,169 --> 01:04:34,837 -My liege. My lady. 1039 01:04:36,045 --> 01:04:43,085 I lifted the Sacred caber of Tam Lin 10,000 times. 1040 01:04:43,085 --> 01:04:46,505 I slew the ogre king and his ogres, 1041 01:04:46,505 --> 01:04:49,545 took his castle, and redecorated it. 1042 01:04:49,545 --> 01:04:53,045 If I can do these impossible things... 1043 01:04:53,045 --> 01:04:56,461 I can learn the Dance of a Thousand Steps... 1044 01:04:57,877 --> 01:04:59,129 ...in a week. 1045 01:05:00,129 --> 01:05:03,713 -Fairly spoken, lowly goatherd. 1046 01:05:03,713 --> 01:05:05,461 Dancing Master, have you found 1047 01:05:05,461 --> 01:05:08,837 this so-called Dance of a Thousand Steps in your scrolls? 1048 01:05:08,837 --> 01:05:10,461 -Oh, here's a lovely one -- 1049 01:05:10,461 --> 01:05:12,921 the Dance of Many Abstract Movements. 1050 01:05:12,921 --> 01:05:15,253 -No, no, no! We all heard her. 1051 01:05:15,253 --> 01:05:18,045 It must be no other than the one she commanded -- 1052 01:05:18,045 --> 01:05:20,129 the Dance of a Thousand Steps. 1053 01:05:20,129 --> 01:05:21,629 You don't know it? 1054 01:05:21,629 --> 01:05:23,921 -Sire, it is but a legend. 1055 01:05:23,921 --> 01:05:25,961 -What do I pay you for, you clod?! 1056 01:05:25,961 --> 01:05:27,669 -Yes! Found it. 1057 01:05:28,669 --> 01:05:31,921 The Bouncing Banshee of Loch Licht, in her 80th year, 1058 01:05:31,921 --> 01:05:33,629 hung up her famous clogs for good 1059 01:05:33,629 --> 01:05:35,669 and set to recording -- -Never mind that. 1060 01:05:35,669 --> 01:05:37,837 Let us see it! 1061 01:05:37,837 --> 01:05:40,377 -"The Dance of a Thousand Steps... 1062 01:05:40,377 --> 01:05:41,877 Scroll one..." 1063 01:05:44,585 --> 01:05:46,837 -"Of five." 1064 01:05:46,837 --> 01:05:51,877 -My lady, I shall do all I can to learn this dance. 1065 01:05:51,877 --> 01:05:53,753 -It's only the future of the kingdom at stake. 1066 01:05:53,753 --> 01:05:55,297 So... 1067 01:05:56,505 --> 01:05:58,005 ...no pressure. 1068 01:05:58,005 --> 01:06:04,377 ♪♪ 1069 01:06:04,377 --> 01:06:05,837 -Any chance he pulls it off? 1070 01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:07,585 -Oh, God, I hope not. 1071 01:06:07,585 --> 01:06:16,005 ♪♪ 1072 01:06:16,005 --> 01:06:24,421 ♪♪ 1073 01:06:24,421 --> 01:06:26,129 -That's looking pretty good. 1074 01:06:26,129 --> 01:06:28,505 Right? -Wrong. 1075 01:06:28,505 --> 01:06:30,713 Maybe take it from the top. 1076 01:06:30,713 --> 01:06:37,085 ♪♪ 1077 01:06:37,085 --> 01:06:41,129 -Lifted a big stump like a dolt for months on end, 1078 01:06:41,129 --> 01:06:45,877 slew that ogre king, and all for what? 1079 01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:49,921 He can't dance, never could. 1080 01:06:49,921 --> 01:06:52,629 Could have married a princess, 1081 01:06:52,629 --> 01:06:55,085 but oh, no, not him. 1082 01:06:55,085 --> 01:06:56,629 Worthless! 1083 01:06:56,629 --> 01:06:59,545 Just like his father, so he is -- 1084 01:06:59,545 --> 01:07:04,461 his worthless father who wanted to be a wizard! 1085 01:07:04,461 --> 01:07:06,753 Oh, I wasn't good enough for the likes of him, was I? 1086 01:07:07,961 --> 01:07:12,005 And there you were, a sweet little babe at my teat. 1087 01:07:12,005 --> 01:07:14,837 And into a rage he goes and curses you, 1088 01:07:14,837 --> 01:07:17,005 his only son! 1089 01:07:18,297 --> 01:07:20,921 So, if you want to know why you 're a lonely, 1090 01:07:20,921 --> 01:07:24,545 worthless, daydreaming eejit who'll never take a wife, 1091 01:07:24,545 --> 01:07:30,169 just your nefarious evil wizard of a father who cursed you! 1092 01:07:30,169 --> 01:07:38,421 ♪♪ 1093 01:07:38,421 --> 01:07:46,669 ♪♪ 1094 01:07:46,669 --> 01:07:48,877 -You're too hard on the boy. 1095 01:07:48,877 --> 01:07:51,753 It ain't his fault he's the son of the wizard. 1096 01:07:51,753 --> 01:07:56,005 ♪♪ 1097 01:08:04,961 --> 01:08:11,045 ♪♪ 1098 01:08:11,045 --> 01:08:15,085 -The goatherd despaired of his future... 1099 01:08:16,669 --> 01:08:20,337 ...while the witch despaired of her past. 1100 01:08:25,129 --> 01:08:28,169 -For though she had banished the wizard, 1101 01:08:28,169 --> 01:08:33,461 his third curse had caught her at last. 1102 01:08:33,461 --> 01:08:42,713 ♪♪ 1103 01:08:42,713 --> 01:08:51,921 ♪♪ 1104 01:08:51,921 --> 01:08:57,877 -I doom you, I doom you by this hand to never love, 1105 01:08:57,877 --> 01:09:03,337 except it be to love the betrothed of another! 1106 01:09:03,337 --> 01:09:06,545 ♪♪ 1107 01:10:05,253 --> 01:10:10,713 ♪♪ 1108 01:10:10,713 --> 01:10:16,129 ♪♪ 1109 01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:18,169 -It was you. 1110 01:10:18,169 --> 01:10:24,129 ♪♪ 1111 01:10:24,129 --> 01:10:26,505 I've seen you. 1112 01:10:26,505 --> 01:10:28,421 I've seen you dance. 1113 01:10:30,505 --> 01:10:35,337 You dance like wind in fields of golden wheat. 1114 01:10:37,005 --> 01:10:39,169 You move like the light of a full moon 1115 01:10:39,169 --> 01:10:41,377 on a surface of a swift stream. 1116 01:10:42,377 --> 01:10:45,921 You dance -- You dance the way music dances in ears, 1117 01:10:45,921 --> 01:10:47,797 the way hearts dance... 1118 01:10:49,085 --> 01:10:50,837 ...when they are in love. 1119 01:10:53,837 --> 01:10:56,213 The Dance of a Thousand Steps. 1120 01:10:58,213 --> 01:10:59,797 It's not a legend. 1121 01:11:00,837 --> 01:11:03,005 You created it. 1122 01:11:03,005 --> 01:11:04,421 Your dance. 1123 01:11:05,421 --> 01:11:06,753 Teach it to me! 1124 01:11:06,753 --> 01:11:08,297 Teach it to me in these three days 1125 01:11:08,297 --> 01:11:11,085 and let me lift this curse from our land! 1126 01:11:13,213 --> 01:11:15,585 I'm a good man! 1127 01:11:17,253 --> 01:11:19,169 A kind man! 1128 01:11:20,921 --> 01:11:23,253 A loyal man! 1129 01:11:25,337 --> 01:11:27,669 And I'm a strong man. 1130 01:11:29,669 --> 01:11:31,585 You taught me that! 1131 01:11:32,837 --> 01:11:35,169 Teach me your dance! 1132 01:11:38,337 --> 01:11:40,169 Please, witch. 1133 01:11:41,169 --> 01:11:42,377 -Teach you? 1134 01:11:43,377 --> 01:11:45,797 So you may be betrothed? 1135 01:11:47,461 --> 01:11:53,045 -Can you truly not understand what it is to be cursed? 1136 01:11:54,753 --> 01:11:58,585 Yes...I can. 1137 01:12:01,669 --> 01:12:03,421 I'll teach you. 1138 01:12:07,797 --> 01:12:09,505 -Why are you laughing? 1139 01:12:12,213 --> 01:12:14,129 -I'm really not sure. 1140 01:12:17,005 --> 01:12:18,505 But remember, 1141 01:12:18,505 --> 01:12:21,713 each task is harder than the last. 1142 01:12:21,713 --> 01:12:24,421 One...two... -One... 1143 01:12:24,421 --> 01:12:26,629 -And my dance is only for the true of heart. 1144 01:12:26,629 --> 01:12:30,797 Three...four. -Three...four. 1145 01:12:30,797 --> 01:12:34,629 -Five, six, seven... 1146 01:12:34,629 --> 01:12:35,921 16. 1147 01:12:35,921 --> 01:12:37,837 -Why 16? That's only eight. 1148 01:12:39,669 --> 01:12:41,461 Eight for me. 1149 01:12:42,545 --> 01:12:44,297 Eight for you. 1150 01:12:45,545 --> 01:12:46,837 16. 1151 01:12:48,129 --> 01:12:51,545 -The Dance of a Thousand Steps. 1152 01:12:51,545 --> 01:12:54,045 It's a dance for two people. 1153 01:12:55,169 --> 01:12:57,753 I don't need to learn a thousand steps. 1154 01:12:58,753 --> 01:13:02,461 I only need to learn 500. 1155 01:13:02,461 --> 01:13:10,129 ♪♪ 1156 01:13:10,129 --> 01:13:17,797 ♪♪ 1157 01:13:17,797 --> 01:13:25,461 ♪♪ 1158 01:13:25,461 --> 01:13:33,129 ♪♪ 1159 01:13:33,129 --> 01:13:40,797 ♪♪ 1160 01:13:40,797 --> 01:13:48,461 ♪♪ 1161 01:13:48,461 --> 01:13:56,129 ♪♪ 1162 01:13:56,129 --> 01:14:03,797 ♪♪ 1163 01:14:09,961 --> 01:14:11,545 I can't. 1164 01:14:12,545 --> 01:14:14,085 I can't. -You can. 1165 01:14:14,085 --> 01:14:16,253 It's just a few steps more. 1166 01:14:16,253 --> 01:14:18,669 -It's not the steps. 1167 01:14:18,669 --> 01:14:21,085 I can do the steps. 1168 01:14:21,085 --> 01:14:23,877 Here. Alone. With you. 1169 01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:28,337 It's in front of everyone. 1170 01:14:29,337 --> 01:14:31,421 I just go blank. 1171 01:14:32,505 --> 01:14:34,797 I'm hopeless. 1172 01:14:34,797 --> 01:14:36,377 -Close your eyes. 1173 01:14:40,005 --> 01:14:41,421 Close them. 1174 01:14:43,545 --> 01:14:45,213 Just finish the dance 1175 01:14:45,213 --> 01:14:47,213 with your heart, 1176 01:14:47,213 --> 01:14:49,377 not your feet. 1177 01:14:49,377 --> 01:14:50,713 Slow. 1178 01:14:53,045 --> 01:14:54,753 996. 1179 01:14:57,505 --> 01:14:59,421 97. 1180 01:15:01,213 --> 01:15:03,005 Eight. 1181 01:15:03,005 --> 01:15:04,461 Nine. 1182 01:15:08,005 --> 01:15:09,713 A thousand. 1183 01:15:15,169 --> 01:15:16,713 And one. 1184 01:15:16,713 --> 01:15:18,753 Now, just do it a hundred times. 1185 01:15:19,753 --> 01:15:21,253 -The dance? 1186 01:15:21,253 --> 01:15:23,129 Or... 1187 01:15:40,297 --> 01:15:41,877 It's my mother. 1188 01:15:42,961 --> 01:15:45,045 She wants to watch us practice. 1189 01:15:45,045 --> 01:15:51,797 ♪♪ 1190 01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:58,545 ♪♪ 1191 01:15:58,545 --> 01:16:05,297 ♪♪ 1192 01:16:10,129 --> 01:16:12,129 -That's all of it, then, is it? 1193 01:16:13,421 --> 01:16:15,045 -She seems nice. 1194 01:16:17,045 --> 01:16:20,669 -Now, what's for supper? 1195 01:16:43,253 --> 01:16:47,005 -You enjoy witching, then, do you? 1196 01:16:47,005 --> 01:16:48,545 -I make my own hours. 1197 01:16:48,545 --> 01:16:52,213 -It's potions and unguents and that, is it? 1198 01:16:52,213 --> 01:16:55,585 -I turn people I don't like into mushrooms. 1199 01:16:55,585 --> 01:16:58,377 -Do you cook? Do you sew? 1200 01:16:58,377 --> 01:17:02,337 -I dance naked by the light of the full bright moon. 1201 01:17:03,421 --> 01:17:05,545 -I should have been a witch. 1202 01:17:06,629 --> 01:17:11,253 Two score years, and my son is finally a man. 1203 01:17:11,253 --> 01:17:13,085 A fine, strong man. 1204 01:17:13,085 --> 01:17:16,169 Has this palace to live in now. 1205 01:17:16,169 --> 01:17:19,045 Dances, so he does! 1206 01:17:19,045 --> 01:17:22,797 He was always a good lad. I'm so proud of him. 1207 01:17:22,797 --> 01:17:24,961 So proud, I am. 1208 01:17:26,129 --> 01:17:29,629 I never believed in his father's stupid curse. 1209 01:17:29,629 --> 01:17:32,213 -His father? 1210 01:17:32,213 --> 01:17:34,377 -The Evil Wizard. 1211 01:17:34,377 --> 01:17:37,505 Abandoned us. Cursed the boy. 1212 01:17:37,505 --> 01:17:40,797 I was just a young thing. Love's fool. 1213 01:17:40,797 --> 01:17:43,297 But then, aren't we all? 1214 01:17:43,297 --> 01:17:51,337 ♪♪ 1215 01:17:51,337 --> 01:17:54,297 He'll dance this strange dance of yours. 1216 01:17:54,297 --> 01:17:56,213 I know he will. 1217 01:17:56,213 --> 01:17:59,629 And then he'll marry the princess, 1218 01:17:59,629 --> 01:18:02,961 and their firstborn, my grandchild, 1219 01:18:02,961 --> 01:18:05,461 will one day sit on the throne, 1220 01:18:05,461 --> 01:18:09,505 and I can die a happy soul knowing that, I can tell you. 1221 01:18:12,297 --> 01:18:15,753 You've never had a child, have you, witch? 1222 01:18:15,753 --> 01:18:23,337 ♪♪ 1223 01:18:26,377 --> 01:18:29,461 -She's not always...like that. 1224 01:18:31,545 --> 01:18:34,713 -So, you are a wizard? 1225 01:18:37,005 --> 01:18:39,297 -The son of one. 1226 01:18:39,297 --> 01:18:41,337 It's not the same. -You didn't tell me. 1227 01:18:41,337 --> 01:18:42,461 -You never asked. 1228 01:18:42,461 --> 01:18:44,545 He left when I was a babe. 1229 01:18:45,545 --> 01:18:47,921 I'm just a goatherd. Truly. 1230 01:18:47,921 --> 01:18:49,545 -A goatherd who breaks curses. 1231 01:18:49,545 --> 01:18:52,585 -I haven't! Not yet. 1232 01:18:52,585 --> 01:18:54,585 Would you like to practice some more together? 1233 01:18:54,585 --> 01:18:57,545 -You know the dance. And you will succeed. 1234 01:18:57,545 --> 01:18:59,837 -How can you be so sure? 1235 01:18:59,837 --> 01:19:03,837 -Because...I'm cursed. 1236 01:19:03,837 --> 01:19:06,213 -I don't understand. -But I do. 1237 01:19:07,213 --> 01:19:10,085 So clever. So evil. 1238 01:19:10,085 --> 01:19:11,421 -Who? 1239 01:19:11,421 --> 01:19:13,961 -Your father, the wizard who cursed me. 1240 01:19:14,961 --> 01:19:17,585 He cursed you, he cursed the king, 1241 01:19:17,585 --> 01:19:19,213 and before I banished him forever, 1242 01:19:19,213 --> 01:19:20,921 he cursed me, too. 1243 01:19:20,921 --> 01:19:25,797 Three curses, and one unbreakable chain of misery! 1244 01:19:25,797 --> 01:19:27,629 -Can you not just give yourself three tasks? 1245 01:19:27,629 --> 01:19:29,461 -It doesn't work that way. -Well, it worked for me! 1246 01:19:29,461 --> 01:19:31,045 -You 're a wizard! 1247 01:19:31,045 --> 01:19:33,297 -I'm just a goatherd! That's all I am! 1248 01:19:33,297 --> 01:19:35,129 -No! -I am not a wizard! 1249 01:19:35,129 --> 01:19:39,837 -You must be because the tasks I gave you were impossible! 1250 01:19:39,837 --> 01:19:41,421 That was the whole point! 1251 01:19:41,421 --> 01:19:43,377 -Why would you give me impossible tasks? 1252 01:19:43,377 --> 01:19:45,421 -Why did you accomplish them?! 1253 01:19:45,421 --> 01:19:47,461 Why did you keep coming back?! 1254 01:19:47,461 --> 01:19:51,629 Why didn't you quit, when there was no hope?! 1255 01:19:51,629 --> 01:19:58,461 ♪♪ 1256 01:19:58,461 --> 01:20:05,253 ♪♪ 1257 01:20:05,253 --> 01:20:07,129 -What was your curse? 1258 01:20:10,169 --> 01:20:15,377 -I may only love the betrothed of another. 1259 01:20:15,377 --> 01:20:22,213 ♪♪ 1260 01:20:22,213 --> 01:20:24,797 Tomorrow, you will win the princess' hand 1261 01:20:24,797 --> 01:20:27,085 and be betrothed to her. 1262 01:20:29,505 --> 01:20:32,921 And I -- oh, what a fool. 1263 01:20:34,669 --> 01:20:36,461 What a fool I've been! 1264 01:20:36,461 --> 01:20:39,337 -Wait, come back. Please, witch, don't go! 1265 01:20:39,337 --> 01:20:42,669 -The witch finally understood the cruel fate 1266 01:20:42,669 --> 01:20:45,213 the Evil Wizard had set down for her. 1267 01:20:45,213 --> 01:20:47,169 -Keep your bargain! 1268 01:20:47,169 --> 01:20:51,085 -And so, she fled, unsure what she must do. 1269 01:20:52,085 --> 01:20:54,545 Keep her bargain with the goatherd, 1270 01:20:54,545 --> 01:20:56,629 only to lose him forever, 1271 01:20:56,629 --> 01:20:58,713 or break her promise, 1272 01:20:58,713 --> 01:21:02,005 knowing he would never forgive her. 1273 01:21:04,877 --> 01:21:06,545 The day had come, 1274 01:21:06,545 --> 01:21:09,797 and the kingdom's hopes hung by a thread. 1275 01:21:09,797 --> 01:21:13,005 All that night and into morning, no one -- 1276 01:21:13,005 --> 01:21:16,005 not the king, nor the princess, 1277 01:21:16,005 --> 01:21:19,297 not the man's mother, not the neighbor, 1278 01:21:19,297 --> 01:21:23,169 nor the man, not his closest friends, 1279 01:21:23,169 --> 01:21:26,505 perhaps not even the witch herself could guess what pain, 1280 01:21:26,505 --> 01:21:31,213 what joy, what fate this day might contain. 1281 01:21:31,213 --> 01:21:37,837 ♪♪ 1282 01:22:10,753 --> 01:22:12,961 -Is our champion ready to perform 1283 01:22:12,961 --> 01:22:15,421 the Dance of a Thousand Steps? 1284 01:22:16,713 --> 01:22:19,085 Well? What's the matter with him? 1285 01:22:19,085 --> 01:22:21,421 -Don't tell me I put on this getup for nothing. 1286 01:22:21,421 --> 01:22:23,837 -You look very beautiful. 1287 01:22:23,837 --> 01:22:25,213 Thank you. 1288 01:22:26,337 --> 01:22:27,505 So do you. 1289 01:22:27,505 --> 01:22:29,085 -Goatherd! 1290 01:22:29,085 --> 01:22:32,085 The sand in the glass draws low. 1291 01:22:32,085 --> 01:22:34,253 Will you dance and give your king -- 1292 01:22:34,253 --> 01:22:36,753 and all this kingdom -- hope? 1293 01:22:37,921 --> 01:22:47,421 ♪♪ 1294 01:22:49,421 --> 01:22:55,461 ♪♪ 1295 01:22:55,461 --> 01:22:57,669 She's dancing with him. 1296 01:22:57,669 --> 01:23:00,213 -Of course! A partner dance. 1297 01:23:00,213 --> 01:23:07,797 ♪♪ 1298 01:23:07,797 --> 01:23:15,337 ♪♪ 1299 01:23:17,337 --> 01:23:24,713 ♪♪ 1300 01:23:26,713 --> 01:23:29,377 ♪♪ 1301 01:23:31,377 --> 01:23:39,877 ♪♪ 1302 01:23:41,877 --> 01:23:45,877 ♪♪ 1303 01:23:47,877 --> 01:23:54,961 ♪♪ 1304 01:23:56,961 --> 01:24:03,461 ♪♪ 1305 01:24:07,461 --> 01:24:16,921 ♪♪ 1306 01:24:16,921 --> 01:24:26,421 ♪♪ 1307 01:24:26,421 --> 01:24:35,877 ♪♪ 1308 01:24:37,877 --> 01:24:46,837 ♪♪ 1309 01:24:46,837 --> 01:24:55,797 ♪♪ 1310 01:24:57,797 --> 01:25:03,253 ♪♪ 1311 01:25:03,253 --> 01:25:08,669 ♪♪ 1312 01:25:10,669 --> 01:25:16,377 ♪♪ 1313 01:25:16,377 --> 01:25:22,085 ♪♪ 1314 01:25:28,921 --> 01:25:31,045 -He's done it! 1315 01:25:31,045 --> 01:25:33,545 -Bravo! Bravo! 1316 01:25:36,085 --> 01:25:38,921 -Mine! He's mine! 1317 01:25:45,377 --> 01:25:48,545 -Wait! Goatherd! 1318 01:25:48,545 --> 01:25:50,505 How many goats do you have?! 1319 01:25:51,505 --> 01:25:55,713 -Kneel, most determined sir. 1320 01:25:55,713 --> 01:26:00,377 And before take the hand of your princess, 1321 01:26:00,377 --> 01:26:05,085 I bestow unto you this name and title -- 1322 01:26:05,085 --> 01:26:08,629 Lord Ogrebane the Very Fortunate. 1323 01:26:10,421 --> 01:26:16,421 And let this very day there be a royal wedding, 1324 01:26:16,421 --> 01:26:20,377 the likes of which none have ever seen! 1325 01:26:28,213 --> 01:26:30,545 -Put that on. It's one of my finest. 1326 01:26:54,921 --> 01:27:02,253 -And in such holy union as no man nor woman may dissolve, 1327 01:27:02,253 --> 01:27:05,253 we are gathered to witness... 1328 01:27:11,545 --> 01:27:16,545 For when two loving souls are so enthralled to one another, 1329 01:27:16,545 --> 01:27:19,085 who can stand between them? 1330 01:27:20,085 --> 01:27:27,421 ♪♪ 1331 01:27:27,421 --> 01:27:34,797 ♪♪ 1332 01:27:34,797 --> 01:27:42,129 ♪♪ 1333 01:27:42,129 --> 01:27:44,005 -Not half bad. 1334 01:27:44,005 --> 01:27:45,837 -I'm trying! 1335 01:27:45,837 --> 01:27:53,213 ♪♪ 1336 01:27:53,213 --> 01:28:00,585 ♪♪ 1337 01:28:00,585 --> 01:28:03,005 -Maybe ask him if he comes back. 1338 01:28:04,297 --> 01:28:06,213 -What was your curse? 1339 01:28:06,213 --> 01:28:10,421 -I may only love the betrothed of another. 1340 01:28:10,421 --> 01:28:15,505 ♪♪ 1341 01:28:15,505 --> 01:28:20,585 ♪♪ 1342 01:28:20,585 --> 01:28:23,461 The exact words! 1343 01:28:23,461 --> 01:28:26,753 -Should anyone present know of any reason 1344 01:28:26,753 --> 01:28:31,753 that this man and woman should not be joined in matrimony, 1345 01:28:31,753 --> 01:28:35,545 speak now or forever hold your peace. 1346 01:28:35,545 --> 01:28:41,753 ♪♪ 1347 01:28:41,753 --> 01:28:46,045 And will you freely take this princess 1348 01:28:46,045 --> 01:28:48,753 to be your wedded wife? 1349 01:28:48,753 --> 01:28:53,629 ♪♪ 1350 01:28:53,629 --> 01:28:56,169 -Oh, absolutely not. 1351 01:29:00,629 --> 01:29:02,045 Oh, it's not you, Princess. 1352 01:29:02,045 --> 01:29:04,005 You're far too fair and fine 1353 01:29:04,005 --> 01:29:06,877 for a scruffy old goatherd like me. 1354 01:29:06,877 --> 01:29:11,085 And besides, sire, I promised my firstborn child to the witch. 1355 01:29:11,085 --> 01:29:13,961 Can't imagine that would sit very well with your daughter, 1356 01:29:13,961 --> 01:29:15,169 would it? 1357 01:29:17,877 --> 01:29:21,129 But really, I'm old enough to be her father. 1358 01:29:24,213 --> 01:29:25,961 -Are you serious? 1359 01:29:27,421 --> 01:29:30,045 Are you actually serious with this? 1360 01:29:30,045 --> 01:29:34,669 10 years waiting patiently, biting my tongue, 1361 01:29:34,669 --> 01:29:36,421 while an uncountable hoard 1362 01:29:36,421 --> 01:29:39,297 of universally objectionable dead fiancés 1363 01:29:39,297 --> 01:29:41,753 piles up at my feet, 1364 01:29:41,753 --> 01:29:43,545 and after that -- 1365 01:29:43,545 --> 01:29:46,921 after years of meekly enduring all that, 1366 01:29:46,921 --> 01:29:48,421 what happens? 1367 01:29:49,421 --> 01:29:54,005 I am farmed out like some piece of livestock 1368 01:29:54,005 --> 01:29:58,253 to this ancient, bumbling, addle-witted, 1369 01:29:58,253 --> 01:30:01,461 appallingly pungent goatherd -- 1370 01:30:02,545 --> 01:30:04,377 ...no offense -- 1371 01:30:04,377 --> 01:30:06,837 with the sole object of producing an heir 1372 01:30:06,837 --> 01:30:10,045 to perpetuate the insupportable charade 1373 01:30:10,045 --> 01:30:13,545 of a morally retrograde patrilineal monarchy. 1374 01:30:13,545 --> 01:30:15,461 And what's it all in aid of? 1375 01:30:15,461 --> 01:30:18,421 What's the grand finale to the clichéd trope 1376 01:30:18,421 --> 01:30:23,085 of marrying off your princess to some random bumpkin 1377 01:30:23,085 --> 01:30:28,129 who wins a spectacularly weird dance contest? 1378 01:30:28,129 --> 01:30:31,005 Yes, that's right. 1379 01:30:31,005 --> 01:30:34,669 The big "wow" finish to her personal narrative 1380 01:30:34,669 --> 01:30:38,297 is to suffer the rank humiliation, 1381 01:30:38,297 --> 01:30:40,797 the utter ignominy, 1382 01:30:40,797 --> 01:30:43,585 of being summarily abandoned at the altar 1383 01:30:43,585 --> 01:30:46,297 by said senior citizen, 1384 01:30:46,297 --> 01:30:49,545 who was going to give my firstborn child 1385 01:30:49,545 --> 01:30:55,545 to a cantankerous con artist he met in the woods! 1386 01:31:04,045 --> 01:31:05,961 Wait, witch! 1387 01:31:10,877 --> 01:31:12,169 -You're married. 1388 01:31:13,169 --> 01:31:14,713 -Betrothed. 1389 01:31:16,377 --> 01:31:19,505 -But not...married? 1390 01:31:23,129 --> 01:31:25,005 I love you. 1391 01:31:25,005 --> 01:31:26,545 -You do? 1392 01:31:28,213 --> 01:31:29,877 How do you know? 1393 01:31:29,877 --> 01:31:33,129 -Because I'm more myself when you 're there 1394 01:31:33,129 --> 01:31:36,045 than I could ever be when you aren't. 1395 01:31:37,753 --> 01:31:41,877 But, you know, I've been told 1396 01:31:41,877 --> 01:31:44,461 I can never take a wife. 1397 01:31:44,461 --> 01:31:48,005 -Then will you let a witch take you? 1398 01:31:48,005 --> 01:31:50,005 -Yes, witch. 1399 01:31:50,005 --> 01:31:51,753 That I surely will. 1400 01:31:51,753 --> 01:31:56,297 ♪♪ 1401 01:31:56,297 --> 01:31:58,669 -Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 1402 01:31:58,669 --> 01:32:01,585 You're the one who said I had to marry Lord Ogrebottom -- 1403 01:32:01,585 --> 01:32:03,505 Ogrebrain -- Ogrebane. 1404 01:32:03,505 --> 01:32:05,629 Who am I supposed to marry now? 1405 01:32:09,253 --> 01:32:13,297 -Princess, if you're truly so keen on getting married, 1406 01:32:13,297 --> 01:32:17,837 then I think you should marry anyone you like. 1407 01:32:17,837 --> 01:32:26,545 ♪♪ 1408 01:32:26,545 --> 01:32:35,253 ♪♪ 1409 01:32:35,253 --> 01:32:36,669 -Oh. 1410 01:32:36,669 --> 01:32:39,797 ♪♪ 1411 01:32:53,545 --> 01:32:55,213 ♪♪ 1412 01:32:55,213 --> 01:32:57,837 -♪ Mm, yeah ♪ 1413 01:32:57,837 --> 01:33:02,085 ♪ Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1414 01:33:02,085 --> 01:33:06,337 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1415 01:33:06,505 --> 01:33:10,837 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1416 01:33:10,837 --> 01:33:12,797 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1417 01:33:12,797 --> 01:33:15,213 ♪ Hey, alright now ♪ 1418 01:33:15,213 --> 01:33:17,169 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1419 01:33:17,169 --> 01:33:19,421 ♪ Hey, yeah ♪ 1420 01:33:19,421 --> 01:33:20,713 -Mazel Tov! 1421 01:33:22,045 --> 01:33:25,961 -And that's the legend of how my best friend, a lowly goatherd, 1422 01:33:25,961 --> 01:33:29,169 became Lord Ogrebane the Very Fortunate 1423 01:33:29,169 --> 01:33:30,585 and how he came to marry 1424 01:33:30,585 --> 01:33:33,421 the Green-Eyed Lady of Banebower Wood 1425 01:33:33,421 --> 01:33:35,921 and how the Cursed Kingdom came to be called 1426 01:33:35,921 --> 01:33:38,085 the Contented Kingdom once more. 1427 01:33:38,085 --> 01:33:39,629 Because in the end, 1428 01:33:39,629 --> 01:33:42,837 even an Evil Wizard's curses are no match 1429 01:33:42,837 --> 01:33:45,877 for the mischievous child they call Love. 1430 01:33:45,877 --> 01:33:48,085 -He had her at "hag." 1431 01:33:48,085 --> 01:33:51,297 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the Evil Wizard -- 1432 01:33:51,297 --> 01:33:53,585 what about that mean, old whackadoodledoo? 1433 01:33:53,585 --> 01:33:54,669 -Oh, him. 1434 01:33:56,669 --> 01:34:03,045 ♪♪ 1435 01:34:03,045 --> 01:34:09,377 ♪♪ 1436 01:34:09,377 --> 01:34:12,337 Well, that's a whole 'nother story. 1437 01:34:14,337 --> 01:34:16,421 ♪♪ 1438 01:34:16,421 --> 01:34:17,797 -♪ Ow! ♪ 1439 01:34:17,797 --> 01:34:21,421 ♪♪ 1440 01:34:21,421 --> 01:34:24,085 ♪ Mm, yeah ♪ 1441 01:34:24,085 --> 01:34:28,461 ♪ Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1442 01:34:28,461 --> 01:34:32,629 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1443 01:34:32,797 --> 01:34:37,213 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1444 01:34:37,213 --> 01:34:39,129 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1445 01:34:39,129 --> 01:34:41,585 ♪ Hey, alright now ♪ 1446 01:34:41,585 --> 01:34:43,505 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1447 01:34:43,505 --> 01:34:45,421 ♪ Hey, yeah ♪ 1448 01:34:45,421 --> 01:34:47,085 ♪♪ 1449 01:34:47,085 --> 01:34:50,253 ♪ I used to think maybe you loved me ♪ 1450 01:34:50,253 --> 01:34:53,669 ♪ Now I know that it's true ♪ 1451 01:34:53,669 --> 01:34:55,713 ♪♪ 1452 01:34:55,713 --> 01:34:58,505 ♪ And I don't want to spend my whole life ♪ 1453 01:34:58,505 --> 01:35:01,961 ♪ Just a-waitin' for you ♪ 1454 01:35:01,961 --> 01:35:04,377 ♪♪ 1455 01:35:04,377 --> 01:35:07,713 ♪ Now I don't want you back for the weekend ♪ 1456 01:35:07,713 --> 01:35:10,669 ♪ Not back for a day ♪ 1457 01:35:10,669 --> 01:35:12,297 ♪ Ah, no, no, no ♪ 1458 01:35:12,297 --> 01:35:16,421 ♪ Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1459 01:35:16,421 --> 01:35:20,629 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1460 01:35:20,797 --> 01:35:25,129 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1461 01:35:25,129 --> 01:35:26,961 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1462 01:35:26,961 --> 01:35:29,753 ♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪ 1463 01:35:29,753 --> 01:35:33,337 ♪ Oh, don't it now? ♪ 1464 01:35:33,337 --> 01:35:37,545 ♪♪ 1465 01:35:38,837 --> 01:35:48,669 ♪♪ 1466 01:35:48,669 --> 01:35:58,505 ♪♪ 1467 01:35:58,505 --> 01:36:08,297 ♪♪ 1468 01:36:08,297 --> 01:36:18,129 ♪♪ 1469 01:36:18,129 --> 01:36:27,961 ♪♪ 1470 01:36:27,961 --> 01:36:37,797 ♪♪ 1471 01:36:37,797 --> 01:36:47,585 ♪♪ 1472 01:36:47,585 --> 01:36:57,421 ♪♪ 1473 01:36:57,421 --> 01:37:07,253 ♪♪ 1474 01:37:07,253 --> 01:37:17,085 ♪♪ 1475 01:37:17,085 --> 01:37:26,877 ♪♪ 1476 01:37:26,877 --> 01:37:36,713 ♪♪ 1477 01:37:36,713 --> 01:37:44,085 ♪♪ 1478 01:37:44,085 --> 01:37:51,461 ♪♪ 1479 01:37:51,461 --> 01:37:58,797 ♪♪ 1480 01:37:58,797 --> 01:38:06,169 ♪♪ 1481 01:38:06,169 --> 01:38:13,545 ♪♪ 1482 01:38:13,545 --> 01:38:20,921 ♪♪ 1483 01:38:20,921 --> 01:38:28,297 ♪♪ 1484 01:38:28,297 --> 01:38:35,669 ♪♪ 1485 01:38:35,669 --> 01:38:45,461 ♪♪ 1486 01:38:45,461 --> 01:38:55,297 ♪♪ 1487 01:38:55,297 --> 01:39:05,129 ♪♪ 1488 01:39:05,129 --> 01:39:14,961 ♪♪ 1489 01:39:14,961 --> 01:39:24,753 ♪♪ 1490 01:39:24,753 --> 01:39:34,585 ♪♪ 98385