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At the end of Ch'ing Dynasty

Can Mung-gat was a wise and cunning lawyer in Canton.

He loved to speak sarcastically and was proud to play tricks on others.

He had countless enemies.

One day, his enemy, the head of the Beggar Gang, Hung Sap-baat

was persuaded by his fellows and decided to settle the score with Can Mung-gat.

But the why and what made them enemies is unknown to anyone.

Make way. Go away. Get out of here.

Go!

-Go! -Can Mung-gat, you bastard!

I will have a duel with you today!

Make way. Go away!

Go away, go!

Shit! Master, we are in deep trouble!

Master...

Master!

-Master! -Fun, I've been waiting for you.

Honey bear, single, double

Honey bear touches the ground

Honey bear turns around!

Honey bear, honey bear, get away!

-Fun! -Master...

The Beggar Gang Hung Sap-baat is coming to make trouble.

Really?

-Master, have you thought of a solution? -Of course not!

I kicked you only because you look ugly.

Don't let me see your face.

Or I may lose control and kick you again.

Master's thoughts are really wise and striking!

Master, you're the rightful king of brain-trusters.

Don't flatter me like this.

You're giving me much pressure.

That's right.

Can Mung-gat, come out. Get out now!

Ga Wu Villa

Come out!

Are you hiding because you know that your god-dad is here?

Are you afraid of my beggar scent?

Keep hiding, and I'll destroy your ancestor's graves.

Master.

I'll smash their bones and feed the ashes to the chickens.

Come out...

Boss, there are words on the stone.

What does it say?

Visitors should knock the door.

He wants me to be polite?

Can Mung-gat, listen!

On the count of three surrender with your hands in the air

or we'll force entry.

-Okay! -Yes!

They're getting serious.

What do we do now?

Master, they are setting fire out there.

That's fine. We've just set fire.

One!

Shit...

Two!

Two and a half!

Three!

Stop pushing, or I'll kill the hostage.

Save me! Brother Hung!

Pour the dung and urine on him!

Yes.

Ghost...

That's an evil spirit!

So ignorant! They have never seen a glass door.

Master, so that's the use of the item you brought from Germany.

Why do you hold your breath?

Do I stink so badly?

Can Mung-gat, can you imagine that heaven is helping me too?

The rain rinses my body!

Heavier rain please!

Brother Hung.

This way, Brother Hung.

What a beggar!

Idiots! They think violence can solve everything.

I'm being nice to you by treating you to some urine.

You want more? I'll pour it on your face.

Boss...

No, I'm having diarrhea.

I can't hold it too!

Help me! Don't go!

They drank the urine with laxatives.

They'll have bad diarrhea!

So sad!

So terrible!

So sad!

Boss, won't it bring bad luck?

Would you rather use the hell money or your fingers?

Are you itchy deep inside your anus

as if pricked by needles or bitten by insects?

Can Mung-gat's got it again!

Don't panic. There's no dung on it. Just some words.

Hung Sap-baat, you bastard,

the hell money you used to wipe your anus

was soaked in poisonous herbal oil.

When you feel itchy, you won't be able to stop scratching

until your anus bleeds and breaks.

How did you read out loud without moving your mouth?

And that wasn't even your voice.

Because that's my voice over.

How is it? Do you feel itchy?

A mosquito bit me. I feel itchy.

I have to scratch it!

Ready, one, two, three, four.

It's so itchy, so itchy

Come apply some Super Ointment!

Hey! Here comes the Super Ointment.

Thank you.

Can Mung-gat, I am defeated!

Give us the antidote.

Sure! To save time, I've asked Mr. Li to be our witness.

Call me god-brother, come on!

Greet him... God...

Mr. Li helps us despite being busy.

I'm so glad!

'Cause you have pretty girls for me!

Am I nice to you?

Be quick!

I'd rather chop off my hand than submit to you!

What a great man you are!

If you'd submit to me, I'd turn away.

-Fun. -Yes.

To save time, we've prepared the antidote for all of you.

Silver?

Stuff it up your anus.

You can't scratch if your finger can't reach it.

Good! He stuffed it into his anus without thinking.

What a brave hero!

I love that!

-Fun! -Yes!

Master was kidding.

It's for you to buy 0.2 tael of Chuanbei,

0.3 tael of tuckahoe, 4 pieces of prunella,

boil with four bowls of water into a teaspoonful of tonic.

Then squeeze it into your anus. It'll cure you immediately.

Seven days later, you won't feel itchy anymore. Guaranteed!

And it'll soften the skin of your anus!

Give out the money.

Brother Hung, please rise.

I sincerely honor you as a respectable hero!

We shouldn't be enemies anymore.

Now, Hong Kong Island, Kowloon and the new territories are taken by foreigners.

In the face of the national threat, we should forget our own animosities.

We should form an ally to fight against foreign enemies.

Now I'm...

Calling you my older brother, and have my toast.

No way! I'll hate you till I die.

But I do respect you, jerk! Go!

Let's go!

Fun.

Yes, master.

Forgiveness is a good deed, you got it?

Yes, master.

It's cocky to say that after a victory.

I admire you so much.

Then you should treat me to the club.

Again?

Why not?

Of course. Let's go.

Mr. Chan, let me give you a quiz.

Which is faster, hot or cold?

That's a tough one.

Hot. Because you can catch a cold.

Right!

My turn!

John's father has five sons Alan, Blan, Clan and Dlan.

What did he call his fifth son?

Do you have to make it so hard?

Can't you answer it?

The answer is... John.

Bravo!

Many thought the answer is "Elan."

Since we're enjoying so much

why not tell us some great idea?

No, I earn a living by sharp tongue.

I wouldn't be sitting here if I had any great ideas.

Let's eat.

As king of brain-trusters, give us something!

-That's right, come on! -No, I can't.

I'm sure you have it, come on!

No, you are flattering me!

What's up?

People said you're calculative practical and mean.

You're indeed practical!

You won't give anything without money.

We are rich and handsome, everyone knows it.

-You're really handsome! -That's right.

We are so handsome but the restaurant we run has no patrons!

We need your input to boost our business.

We're enjoying ourselves. Do you want me to start working now?

You are really something! Money harms friendship.

But, Mr. Chan, friendship doesn't exist among us.

We'd better talk about money!

You are really wise.

Well... replace all the girls.

The first thing to do is hire some better-looking girls.

We did that many times.

This batch is the best, and it's obvious!

You're not king of brain-trusters, but king of brain-dusters instead!

Brain-duster!

Well, you are demanding.

Well...

Damn it! Business is growing!

We have to hire more waiters to serve.

Everyone has curiosity.

You must remember.

Jump down on time, three shifts a day.

Once you've caught their attention, money will come pouring in.

Jumping from the second floor is too dangerous!

To make a living, you'd jump from the sixth floor if you had to.

-That's true. -Send the money to my home.

-Sure. -Fun...

Let's go!

Good job!

How dare you come out here without me?

This one is so cute!

Cute...

Thank you.

Master, she smiled at me!

No, she smiled at me.

No! Master, she smiled at me.

One, two, three, guess what's next...

Did you touch my butt?

-Open! -Ten!

Your...

-Did you touch my butt? -Drink!

I, Can Mung-gat, swear that I did not do that.

-Let's go! -Yes!

Stop!

Miss, any accusation needs evidence.

Or you should just stay silent.

Let's go!

Master, I'll admit it to make her feel better.

How about touching my butt as compensation?

What an advantage!

Jerk!

Fong Tong-geng?

Can Mung-gat, you two are civilized men!

How dare you bully a helpless girl like this?

You took advantage of her,

and you insulted her by playing such dirty guessing game.

Tell me, where is justice?

That bastard! Ever since I beat him in the mahjong game,

he's been trying to get back at me.

That's him!

Miss, may I know your name?

I am Lotus Seoi.

Today I, Fong Tong-geng, will fight for justice and punish those jerks!

Pal, let's sit down and...

Cut the crap, bring Lassie out.

The hero dog, Lassie?

Lassie had undergone rigorous training.

With just one strand of hair he'll run after the criminal

and he won't stop until he sinks his teeth into his target.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Attack!

Miss Seoi, don't worry,

let it smell your butt.

Stay calm.

Master, should things go wrong, I'll call backup.

-Just try to hold them off. -Sure!

Come on.

Attack!

Good dog...

Oh, it likes eating buns!

Shit!

Turns out the accuser is the culprit!

It was Fong who touched her butt!

The truth has been revealed!

He wouldn't expect the Lassie he trained

would submit to my righteousness

and betray him out of conscience

at that critical moment.

What a righteous dog!

Let's all praise that wonderful dog!

-Lassie is a good dog. -Lassie is a good dog.

-Good dog Lassie! -Good dog Lassie!

We have a good dog named Lassie in China.

We have a good dog named Lassie in China!

Miss, do you wish to speak to me?

I nearly made a terrible mistake.

I was so ignorant that I was almost cheated by that bastard.

Which means you owe me a favor.

I wish to return the favor to you.

This is my student Fun.

Brother Fun.

He likes you very much.

Master, you are disgusting!

But you need not fall for him.

Be at my place at 3:00 P.M. tomorrow.

Let's talk about how you'll return the favor.

What do you think?

I'll be there on time.

Let's go!

Let's go!

Young Master, found it.

Daddy, we've found it.

Heavenly Father

please bless Jyu-faa and Nim-sai to live happily in heaven.

Please help me!

Sir, beware of catching cold,

leave things to us here.

Zung, open the coffin and check the body.

How is the body?

We can still see his face.

Flip Nim-sai's body and remove his trousers.

What do you see?

His buttock.

Anything on it?

An equilateral triangular mark.

That's a birthmark.

He is indeed your younger brother Nim-sai.

You sold Nim-sai to Guangzhou 20 years ago

1000 HK Dollars

Can you recognize him if he is alive?

One's appearance when miserable is different from when living happily.

I can't guarantee how much he has changed.

Any other characteristics?

He had a beautiful jade pendant at the time.

There was a little door on it

behind the door, the name Sai of Sir Ho Sai is carved on it.

Master, what are you doing?

Wait.

Master, what are you doing here?

Wait.

Master.

You are lucky!

What's the matter?

Are you willing to kiss Lotus?

Master, really? Am I so lucky?

It's true!

When Lotus arrives, I'll ask Jan to let her sit on this chair.

Then Jan will rush to serve tea.

Isn't it great?

That's great!

Am I smart?

Master, how to kiss her?

Take a seat.

When she is all wet, what's next?

She'll be ashamed and scream!

No!

She will get changed!

Master, how could she change clothes in public?

Look!

Changing Room

This door will lock automatically when it's closed.

And water will flow from this hole.

According to human instincts, Lotus will...

Stuff it with her finger.

At that moment

more water will flow from here!

She will stuff with finger too.

But she wouldn't expect

another huge flow of water

spraying onto her face from here!

Master, this is so awkward!

Lotus got into such a difficult situation.

She can't scream for help!

She must be scared and doesn't know what to do.

To save herself, everyone knows she will...

Stuff the hole with her tongue.

And you'll come from the other side of the wall,

remove the hose at the right time and extend your tongue.

So I can kiss her.

All things calculated!

When the bells ring go ahead and kiss her.

What's the use of kissing her?

Are you kidding me, Brother Fun?

Master, if she bites me, what do I do then?

If you can turn her on, she won't bite you!

Master, you are so nice to me.

I am so nice to you, right?

Yes.

-Brother Jan. -Master.

Come here...

Stay in this room and don't leave.

Water will come through this hole and aim at your face.

Stuff this pig's tongue into this hole.

-Understand? -Yes.

Repeat it please.

Damn! A huge water flow will flush in through this hole towards your face.

Then you stuff this damn pig's tongue into this bloody hole.

You should've said it this way.

Jerk!

Let me go over it one more time.

When Fun is kissing the pig's tongue Jan is holding,

I'll be here to kiss Lotus.

If she gets upset Fun will admit all the blames!

Lotus will slap Fun heavily, and I'll go and kick him too.

Lotus will lean on my chest, and I'll comfort her.

I'll make her drunk, then I will...

Who else can be the King of Brain-truster in this world except me?

No one else!

Why are you carrying luggage? Moving?

No, madam is back.

Madam?

Yes, she's in the sitting room with her friend.

What a big house, but...

One chair only?

You are my guest, so you take the seat.

Sorry, you'd better get changed.

No! Don't go there!

Hubby.

Not you! The buck-toothed one!

This room...

Okay, you're desperate. You first!

Shit!

Help! Help...

Shit...

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Someone is killed! Shit!

Master, we are in trouble...

It's shit...

Madam!

Fun!

No one is killed! Everything is fine.

Miss Seoi, I'm returning your tongue!

I am sorry, I didn't mean it...

Sorry, I am late.

Ghost!

Ghost!

Hey! What's going on?

Too much chaos.

I can't figure it out.

Help...

Help.

-Wo Man -Yes, hubby?

I sent you to UK to study law.

Why did you come back suddenly?

I wanted to surprise you.

It's really a surprise.

Let's eat.

By the way, why were you flushed out of the room by water?

And I see traps all over the house.

Could you explain what's going on?

I can, but it's not convenient to talk right now.

Madam, don't blame Master.

Master knows that I have an indecent desire.

He set all the traps, so I could kiss Miss Seoi.

Please don't get him wrong.

But, Master...

about the pig's tongue,

is it convenient to give me an explanation?

Sure, but I don't have time.

Good, even if you have time to talk, we don't have time to listen.

Fun, you kissed the pig's tongue, didn't you?

I did.

Good, I bought that for you!

Master, you promised to let me kiss Miss Seoi.

The truth is, I wanted to kiss her and the pig's tongue was for you.

I fooled you! I took advantage of you.

So what?

I dare to tell you the truth.

It's hot, and life is boring.

I just wanted to have some fun, can't I?

Of course!

Well, it's okay then.

Why do you stare at me?

With our relationship, I'll let you kiss someone.

-Why don't you ask her? -Excuse me.

Can Mung-gat, you are a married man.

Why did you ask me over for dinner?

You may have given me the wrong idea.

Have you thought about my feelings?

Being smart is not everything!

Miss Seoi!

Very simple!

She admires him.

He fooled him.

He wanted to kiss her.

You are mad at him.

And I want to punch you.

Siu-cou!

Give it to me.

Miss Seoi... Please wait!

Miss Seoi, it's dark. Let me walk you home.

No, just lend me the lantern. I'll return it next time.

Next time? That means I'll see you again!

It would be nice if I could keep it.

I can't be his woman,

I can't win his heart,

I can at least keep this lantern.

Miss Seoi, why do you like my master?

All women want to find a husband who is smarter than her,

a man who can protect her.

Miss Seoi, if there is a man,

who is not much smarter than you, but he can protect you,

will you consider him?

People always look for the best.

If I can't find a good husband, I'd rather vow to stay single.

What a decent woman!

Bravo!

Fun, a man should achieve something in his life.

You should set aside any love affairs for now

You're still young. You should widen your horizon.

Widen my horizon?

Where should I go?

Is this really trendy?

Yeah...

Really?

Let me see!

Is it trendy in Britain to loo like this?

What do you mean?

Like this!

What do you mean by "loo"?

I mean...

This loo!

Oh! "Look"!

You speak fluent English.

It was wise of me to send you to study in Britain.

I was right to bring this present to you.

See! You look really smart.

Even the deaf can hear that you spoke whole-heartedly.

You can read my mind!

You really understand me.

You talk in such a romantic way!

It's late. Let's go to bed.

That's good.

-You first. -You first...

No, you first...

Come on!

No, I mean, I dare not, I really dare not.

Come on, it would be an honor.

No, I...

Okay, then, I'll listen to you.

I think my husband doesn't like me.

We were married for seven years, and I spent a year in Britain.

He won't even look at me when he speaks.

I can't help but mimic his attitude.

Fun, he sent me to study law in Britain

but I studied something else.

What's that?

What kind of subject is it?

Needlework.

Wow! What a wonderful world.

The world is so massive.

Even needlework is a subject in a university!

That's why you should go out to see the world.

Madam, your wise words blew my mind!

A man should fight for his future!

I can't go far, but going to Hong Kong should suffice.

You are going to Hong Kong?

Yes, Master.

But it's a colony, not a place for the Chinese but the Westerners.

I don't care! I won't let anyone bully me.

Okay then.

Just let me be.

The salary that you're keeping for me, could you...

What did you say?

The salary that...

The previous line.

Nothing.

You told me to just let you be?

Good! Very good!

As you wish!

Master, you like this giblet.

More rice.

Let me do it...

Master, your rice.

Don't you know I am on diet?

I want half of the rice!

Let me do it...

Bastard, what a useless guy!

Half!

Here, half bowl of rice you wanted!

Eat it!

I own this place!

How dare you behave like this here?

You said to leave me be.

You lost, Can Mung-gat!

Calm down, Master!

Shut up!

This is my place. You have no say here!

I swear in front of the lights!

I will ignore Ho Fun from here on, or I'll be punished by law.

So you'll ignore me?

You mean it?

You are selfish!

You are merciless!

You are impotent!

Bastard! You bastard!

Are you serious?

Bastard!

Cheat my money?

Brother Fun, you should hide.

Hide?

Jan, take care.

I am not impotent...

I am not!

Hubby, what's wrong with you?

It's only a dream.

Fun said that I am merciless and selfish.

Is that true?

How do you say "I feel lonely," in English?

I love you.

I love you.

Really?

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

Why do you come so late at night?

Miss Seoi, Can Mung-gat is a real jerk.

I served him for years, and he still mistreats me, let alone you!

Is that all?

Miss Seoi...

You've come of age. Take this jade pendant from me.

Why don't you grab your belongings and go to Hong Kong with me?

You...

Won't?

Hong Kong is far away, take this jade pendant with you.

If you're robbed by the bandits, with this, they will spare your life.

It's getting late. You should go now.

Take care.

Young Master.

Where's the seller of this?

Not me, I can't use a gun!

I didn't kill anyone!

-I didn't kill anyone! -Go!

I am innocent!

Get in.

Westerner?

You murderer!

Uncle, what did he say?

No...

Help!

Are you going to torture me?

Oh, my dick!

You are charged with murder.

You may appoint a defense lawyer.

Do you have any lawyer?

Yes!

Can Mung-gat!

A stowaway suspected of murder, the butler of Ho Sai dead.

Shit!

Mister, are you ready?

I found Master!

Good! Let's go.

The shaving shall remove all hair.

There's no turning back, mister.

Are you sure?

Come on.

Ling Dou Temple

Please stop!

I've lice in my armpit. Can't I get rid of it?

May I have a little freedom?

Mister, do you want to go on?

Yes, please.

Fun is facing murder charge in Hong Kong.

-Are you going to save him? -How?

If you don't, he will die.

Everyone dies eventually.

You are smart and wise!

I can't help...

He's in Hong Kong, governed by British law.

I can't help.

You sent me to study law in Britain.

Maybe, perhaps,

I think I can give him a little help.

I sense fear in your voice.

With you around, my wisdom is too insignificant.

I think I have to help you!

Master.

Master.

Master.

Master.

Meal time.

Let's eat! Quick!

Where can I get my food, mister?

Are you new?

Yes.

Game time!

Don't bully me! My master is really something.

Regarding Ho Fun's case

the British and Chinese governments have agreed

that the case will be heard in the British court.

No appeal.

And, Can Mung-gat will be the defense counsel for Ho Fun.

I've been informed.

His Excellency Li Hung-chang said,

if you can acquit Ho Fun, you're a national hero.

Money and fame will come to you.

Congratulations.

Will I be penalized if I lose the case?

That's a disgrace to the nation.

Everything you own will be confiscated or your family will be exterminated.

You're putting me on the spot!

Relax, we don't have enough chairs.

How did it happen?

How?

Where did you cut it?

Number nine, Nathan Road.

You shouldn't follow the trend in terms of your hair!

Your hairstyle must suit you!

This hairstyle doesn't suit the shape of your face.

Your face doesn't suit your body!

And your body doesn't suit your hair!

None of them complement each other!

What the hell do you want?

Master, I know it's my fault. Please don't blame me.

I regret cutting my hair.

Sit down first.

Tell me the whole story.

Okay.

The other day, I was walking alone on Nathan Road.

When I reached number nine, a fat woman waved at me.

She said, "Five cents for a haircut!" That's why I followed her.

As always, you get what you pay for.

So you realize your mistake now?

Shall we talk about the case, please?

On the day, I went to the HK Club for lion dance as usual.

I then returned to the backstage.

Suddenly, someone covered my head with a rice bag

and pushed me against the wall.

I struggled...

Suddenly, someone took off my pants from behind.

-Did he... -Yes!

-Was it painful? -No.

-Felt good? -No!

Someone took off my pants and saw my butt and I felt a bit cool.

What's next?

Then, I struggled...

I removed the bag and saw that he held me at gunpoint.

What do you want? You pervert!

What do you want?

You seduced my wife, and you act like a victim?

Don't kill me...

Not me, I can't use a gun!

That's right.

It means, someone killed Ho Ceon from a hidden corner.

Ho Fun became the scapegoat.

The key is, did you have affair with Ceon's wife?

Master, I have never seen his wife.

How could I have affair with her?

Obviously Ho Ceon lied.

But why was he killed?

Okay then, the key is at...

your butt.

What is this Equilateral triangle?

-A birthmark. -Birthmark?

Fun, you've lots of acne.

Not too bad, Madam.

You dropped something!

It's a domino!

Fun, care to explain?

Master, this is a prison culture.

In this prison, newcomers need to keep gambling tools

for the Indians and Westerners.

Dropping one tile means stuffing two tiles.

Master, please help me stuff it back in.

As we're stuffing...

I brought you a chicken thigh.

Why don't I stuff it in there so you can have it when you're hungry?

That's great, Master.

Coming.

Good! Thank you, master.

Come on, don't mention it.

Oh, dear, I lost my ring in there!

Fun, can you eject my ring, please?

Sure, master.

That was the chicken thigh. My ring is still in there.

Not this? It is packed in there.

Master, do you mind looking for it yourself?

Okay.

He's taking my bag!

As stipulated by the court

although it's not his wish to be baptized,

we still welcome him to join God's family.

Let him go.

Why a woman's baptismal time is so short

but a man's baptismal time is so long?

Why did you fight? Your nose is bleeding!

I didn't beat him.

He didn't do anything.

Look!

I hate female Westerners!

I think that's acceptable!

It's payback time!

Stuff your dominos!

Stuff my mahjong in there too.

And the chair and table, the whole set!

What?

Thank you, brother Hung.

Don't mention it.

As told by Can Mung-gat,

I'll take good care of you.

Hit him real hard!

Court.

My master is really good.

My master is really great.

Invite the jury candidates for the selection process.

Mr. Zoeng Tit-sang, you are handicapped,

I hereby dispense you from serving the jury.

Objection!

Why do you object?

It's against the spirit of law for despising handicapped people.

Although I am blind,

I am always a righteous and fair person.

My wish is to become a juror.

If you don't allow that, I'll complain against you.

Okay, you're in.

Thank you.

We have jury and a judge here, who is in-charge here?

Yeah.

Was that your answer?

Well.

Prosecutor.

Jury.

In the coming few days,

I'll expose before you, the ugliest aspect of human nature.

This case will bring chills to your spine.

It's the most gruesome murder with intent.

The defendant Ho Fun

had an affair with the victim's wife Yuk.

He seduced the victim's wife, and planned to possess Yuk entirely.

He asked to meet Ho Ceon and killed him.

Yuk has since disappeared.

We have reasons to believe that the defendant had killed her too.

We believe in our almighty God because he is just.

This court is where He manifests justice and redresses Ho Ceon's injustice!

He is really something.

Defense counsel.

Your Honor, may I ask the jury few questions?

What questions?

Very important questions.

Go ahead.

Dear Jurors, if you think the defendant is handsome

please raise your hands.

Raise your hands if you think otherwise.

If you think the defendant is terribly ugly

please raise your hands.

Ladies and gentlemen, the defendant is ugly and poor.

He is obviously in miserable shape.

How could he possibly seduce

the wife of the general manager of a rich HK family?

Your Honor, objection!

Your Honor,

I was merely pointing out that the murder motive stated is absurd.

Your Honor, the metaphor presented by the defense is absurd and impractical!

Sure, let's be practical.

Lady, if the defendant woos you, will you accept him?

Of course not.

What if he pays you a thousand dollars for half a night?

No way! How dare he woos me with so little money?

Jerk!

Auntie, you should just answer the question.

Don't you insult me! Who do you think you are?

You are a pervert!

You murderer!

I will not fall for you!

You deserve to rot in jail!

You are too bad!

You are an asshole!

Serve you right!

Quiet!

Your Honor, it is proven that he has no murder motive.

Your Honor, the defendant's appearance has nothing to do with the murder.

-By the way, the... -Wait!

You should wait, and...

Let me finish.

To kill someone, he would travel far. One would not murder at his workplace!

How do you think Ceon died?

I don't know, you'd better think!

Perhaps Ho Ceon attempted to rape the defendant but failed.

He killed himself to frame the defendant.

Can Mung-gat, this is the British court, not your lousy Chinese court.

I have no idea what you're doing.

You do not know the law.

Please go back to study more.

You may not be thinking for yourself

but you shouldn't bring disgrace to your fellow Chinese people.

Sorry...

He keeps mentioning Great Britain.

He's forgotten that HK is on loan to them.

They'll have to return it!

Damn it, how dare he be that cocky in our territory?

For Fun's sake, don't offend him, okay?

But that's the fact!

Sorry...

Summon the witness.

I was washing rice in the kitchen.

I heard a gunshot and went to the backyard.

What did you see?

I saw Ho Ceon lying on the ground, with blood all over his body.

Fun pointed a gun at him and laughed. He said, "Ho Ceon, you are dead now."

What happened next?

I got scared and screamed, and Ho Fun chased after us like mad.

Objection!

What did you say?

That differs to the statement you gave to the police!

I wish to ask, why did you change your story?

Sustained, witness should answer the question.

I was worried about Fun's revenge, hence withheld part of the truth.

I have no question, it's your turn.

I request to show exhibit number one.

Witness, this gun can only fire one bullet.

You said you heard a gunshot, so how could he shoot you again?

He didn't run after me with the gun.

-With what then? -Full moon scimitar.

Are you kidding me?

Really?

He ran after me with a decapitator.

He chased after me,

and I was so afraid...

He kept hitting me with a nunchaku...

He hit from the left and then from the right...

He was using a pair of lancets...

I haven't seen these exhibits before.

These are our new findings.

Why would he have ten weapons to kill one person?

This proves Fun had planned this.

He even tried to kill innocent people, totally merciless!

You are full of shit!

You're full of lies and false accusations!

Bastard! You will go to hell!

Your Honor,

I demand to charge Fun with four more offences

threatening judiciary officer, contempt of court, bodily injury,

and littering in a public place.

Can Mung-gat.

Not me! I didn't do it.

Control yourself!

Why did you throw my shoe away?

Give me back my shoe.

Take this first.

Full moon scimitar indeed!

Decapitator indeed!

I smell something.

What's that?

Cat's stool.

Are you that hungry?

This may be an important clue.

-Brother Lung-ji, what made you think so? -Because I said so.

I brought in many clues under my shoe.

How about that shoe?

Plenty!

Give it to Brother Lung-ji. They are important!

Greet Brother Lung-ji.

Brother Lung-ji.

I hear footsteps.

They are moving further now...

It's late, Brother Lung-ji, let's call it a day.

Wait for me.

Full moon scimitar and decapitator.

This is clearly premeditated!

The prosecutor is cocky! Who the hell is he?

A reputable lawyer.

Coincidently, he's Ho Zung, the employer of the victim Ho Ceon.

Does Zung have a boss?

Yes, his dad, Ho Sai.

Ho Sai?

Chief Member of the ExCo and the LegCo

with business across South East Asia.

He owns a few blocks in Western District.

Sai?

Yes, Sai.

Hearing this word Sai, I...

Did it ring your bell?

Right.

because I remember Fun has a "Sai".

What?

A jade pendant carved the word "Sai."

There could be hidden truth within.

This may be related to Fun's identity as an orphan.

-Wu Man. -Hubby.

What do you know about Ho Sai?

A Catholic, a righteous man.

-Good! Jan. -Yes

Hand this to Ho Sai at once.

Make sure he sees Fun in court.

Master, why do you draw such a perverted picture?

Do you feel happy?

Brother Lung-ji, I'm counting on you.

Please go ahead.

The witnesses must have been bribed or threatened.

An eye for an eye! I want to return the favor.

Please find them and torture them to get their confession.

Good idea. How did you figure this out?

I... I used my brain for that.

Don't worry.

Count on me.

I'm okay. Leave it to me.

Don't worry. Leave it to me.

Brother Lung-ji doesn't seem fine.

Your Honor, I would like to summon a new witness.

Who is so important?

Your old man!

Objection, how dare he insult me?

Could you stop objecting and listen for once?

Summon Sir Ho Sai.

I meant your dad!

This is my master.

Can Mung-gat.

Sir, thank you for your help.

Please repeat after me. I swear with my sincerity.

Sir, do you know the defendant, Ho Fun?

No. But he resembles my concubine Jyu-faa.

Pardon?

You had a child with your concubine?

Yes, we have a son named Nim-sai.

But he is dead.

How did he die?

I don't know.

Why don't you know?

We were separated for almost 20 years.

Why did you say he's dead?

I saw his dead body.

Separated for 20 years, and you knew that was your son?

We saw the buttocks of the body.

-Buttocks? -Right.

There was an equilateral triangular birthmark on the right buttock.

Hence that was my son.

Sir, our world is full of surprises.

Some things are hard to believe.

Fun, do I need to tell you what to do?

-Take off your pants! -Yes!

How about the one I saw?

You saw the buttocks but not the face.

The birthmark could've been drawn on.

Drawn on?

So you are Nim-sai?

This is so wonderful for you to reunite with your son!

Nim-sai!

Nim-sai...

Don't get too excited.

Come here! Take care of Sir Ho.

As you've witnessed,

Sir Ho confirmed that the defendant is his son.

This may be a deliberate conspiracy

with malicious intent

to frame the illegitimate child.

Unfortunately, the witness did not swear before the Bible

his words cannot be accepted as evidence.

He did swear.

His hand was on the Bible but did not say his oath.

Okay then, do it again.

Your Honor, despite such an unfortunate incident

the witness' words before his death...

...Should be forgotten.

He did say the words. How could you deny that?

Sorry, the law is the law.

Not a single word can be amended.

Can Mung-gat, I can't help you.

Your Honor, you can!

Watch and learn, Can Mung-gat!

Your dad died, and you acted indifferently.

I should really learn that from you.

It was all your fault!

My dad had heart disease.

Had you not asked him to be a witness, he wouldn't have died!

You murderer!

Your Honor, please pardon me.

My father passed away, and I can't control my emotions.

What?

Damn! Those were crocodile tears!

You bastard!

His eyes are completely tearless! Check it out!

They are dry!

You must be guilty! You are caught red-handed!

Why did you pretending to cry?

To hell with you!

Prosecution and defense! Please respect your roles in court!

Wait, let me tell you a story.

Once there was a Sir Ho Sai of a noble family in Hong Kong.

His eldest son is Ho Zung.

As Sir Ho ages,

his eldest son rightfully becomes his heir.

Unfortunately, there is an illegitimate child named Ho Fun!

Worried that his inheritance may be affected

he sent his man Ho Ceon to assassinate the illegitimate child.

For whatever reasons, Ceon failed.

He then used the opportunity to kill Ceon

and framed the poor illegitimate child.

Not only was he cold-blooded

he completely disregarded the law!

Any comments on my hypothesis?

Prosecutor, why are you laughing?

Your story is ignorant and idiotic!

Ignorant and idiotic,

but you are covered in sweat!

It's really weird.

Prosecutor, where were you on the night of the incident?

At home.

-What were you doing? -Reading.

-What book did you read? -Sex and Zen.

Where did you stop?

Pun Gam-lin and...

And Tang Monk?

Yes, Tang Monk...

That's Journey to the West, are you trying to fool me?

That's smart! So, where did you stop?

Why should I answer that?

Yeah, I don't know why you did! You're embarrassing yourself.

-Can Mung-gat, that's enough! -Wipe your sweat first!

You have huge eye bags.

You must be sleeping poorly of late.

Has Ho Ceon been visiting every night?

Your Honor!

Let's finish here. What were you doing at home that night?

I told you I was reading Sex and Zen at home!

No, not the night you killed Ceon, but the night before you killed him!

Before killing him, I went...

Yes!

You're finished!

Your Honor, I request to present the closing argument.

Darn you! Tell us what you did on the night before murder.

Court marshal!

No! I mean Can Mung-gat.

Why?

The defense has presented a lot of personal views.

They are quite entertaining.

But according to the legal procedure...

Do we have to adhere to that fully?

You've repeatedly contempt the court.

I have no choice but to sentence you to one-day imprisonment.

Effective immediately.

Your Honor, you must be joking!

Your Honor, cut me some slack!

-Hubby! -This isn't happening!

Hubby!

Your Honor, should we forget what we just heard?

As the statement was against the legal procedure

All jurors must make sure that you ignore it completely.

Can Mung-gat's assistant Wu Man shall take over.

Closing arguments will be heard tomorrow.

Court.

Brother Fun.

Miss Seoi.

Why are you here?

I come to save you.

Sure, I'll pack up first.

I was just testing you.

I was right.

You are indeed a gutless coward.

Am I?

If you leave now, this criminal case will haunt you for life!

Can't sleep or eat in peace, forever hiding in the dark.

You'll be a criminal all your life!

I have decided to stay.

That's why I love you.

Jerk!

Ho Fun, you have visitor.

Miss Seoi.

Where did you cut your hair?

Number 9, Nathan Road.

Don't say it, I won't leave.

I'm not a gutless coward.

If I leave, this case will haunt me!

Can't sleep or eat in peace, have to hide in the dark.

I'll be a criminal all my life!

I won't leave.

I've come to tell you to hold on.

We cannot lose your case.

We need to protect your master's reputation.

But now, I know that

you are a true hero with true heart and soul.

I believe that you are innocent.

I'll wait for you.

Good! Great speech!

Will you wait for me?

You'll be released at 5:00 P.M. tomorrow.

What about the closing argument?

They can do nothing to me.

They wouldn't think you've studied law.

You handle the closing argument tomorrow.

Hubby...

I'm putting Fun's life in your hands.

Did you send me to study law in the UK as you find me boring after seven years?

Of course not! The world is so big!

Letting you out to see the world is a good thing after all, right?

Hubby, I didn't study law in the UK.

They rejected me.

So, what did you do in the UK for a year?

I studied fashion design.

What did you say?

-Time's up. -I studied fashion design.

Fashion design?

Hubby, what shall we do?

Fashion design?

Court.

Prosecutor, you may say your closing argument.

The law is no more important than human being itself

but a killer must be punished!

Picture this.

What would you do if the victim was your family?

Now that all acceptable evidence

indicates that Ho Fun killed Ho Ceon.

I would ask all jurors to find the defendant Ho Fun guilty as charged.

Defense.

My husband sent me to study law in the UK.

But I had let him down and did not study law.

I studied fashion design instead.

I'm not talented or highly educated, and I struggle to understand one thing.

Between legal procedure and human life

which is more important?

Your Honor, if you don't mind me pouring out my thoughts.

In my opinion, you've studied so much in law,

they are completely meaningless.

My husband, like me, never studied law.

But he dares to dig into all matters for what's right and wrong.

I am proud of my husband.

I love him.

Dear jurors, I believe that you are not morons.

You should know how to make your judgment.

If you are indeed morons whatever I say would be fruitless.

Thank you very much.

You were released early?

Yes.

You heard everything?

Yes.

How was it?

It has the right balance and full of wisdom.

I truly admire that!

You are flattering me.

Of course not! Look.

Even the blind is moved to tears by you.

Your Honor, if possible, I request to adjourn the court.

My eye problem has relapsed and is discharging purulence.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

Yes.

Is the verdict unanimous?

Yes.

Unanimously, the jury finds the defendant Ho Fun guilty of murder.

He will be hanged in accordance with the law.

Court dismissed.

Court.

Wait.

Van Damme, thank you for taking care of me.

Please take this chicken thigh.

Sir.

You kill one Ho Fun there are tens of thousands more Ho Fun!

Sir.

-Don't move. -You're crazy!

Wait.

Your Honor, what is Ho Fun's sentence?

He is sentenced to be hanged.

-Good. Jan, bring him down. -Yes.

What do you want?

He was sentenced to be hanged.

Not "hanged to death."

Now, he has been hung.

He should be released now!

That's word play!

Your Honor, the law is the law.

Not a single word can be amended.

I can't help you this time.

Your Honor!

Think before you speak.

Or you'll embarrass the British government

and I'll charge you with murder!

We need to hold a meeting first.

Okay, get to work!

You are all nuts!

Go away!

This is my time!

The court's final decision is that the sentence had been carried out.

Ho Fun is free now.

I'm free.

Ho Zung, you are arrested for attempted murder.

-Brother Fun. -Lotus.

My dear baby, you appear before me suddenly

making me so excitedly breathless

Get in position, squeeze a little closer!

I am ready.

Are you ready?

Wedding photos are taken only once in a lifetime

we must be meticulous, right?

Well, look at me!

-Sure. -Be more meticulous, please.

Absolutely!

Master, Fun is here.

Master, Madam.

Fun.

-Brother Fun. -Brother Gut.

Where is Miss Seoi?

I sent her to study in Britain.

What's she studying?

English literature.

-That's to study Shakespeare. -Yes.

Master is so knowledgeable to know Shakespeare.

That really suits her.

-Britain is good. -You could ask me...

Fun.

Master.

Your hair now matches your face.

You look great! I am so glad to see it.

Master, you remarry today,

well dressed for the photoshoot, I am glad too.

You must be happier.

-No, you must be happier. -No, you do.

-Come on. -Please say you're happier.

You're happier.

Okay, look at the camera.

Please focus over here!

Let's begin!

Number nine, Nathan Road?

Bastard, you look great.

Is the look all that matters?

Take it from me, the look is all that matters.

What can you do about it?

Master.

Those guys...

No...

Hey! What's going on?

Too much chaos.

I can't figure it out.

I save you.

What are you doing?

Hey! What's going on?

Too much chaos

I can't figure it out.

What are you doing?

Water sprinkle... Too bad.

You need to stop laughing.

Master, you promised to let me kiss Miss Seoi's pig tongue.

Not this one.

The truth is, I wanted to kiss her and the pig's tongue was for you.

What?

Fun, you kissed the pig's tongue, didn't you?

I did.

Fun, you kissed the pig's tongue, didn't you?

I did.

Master, you promised to let me kiss...

Well, it's okay then.

Why do you stare at me?

Very simple.

She admires him. He wanted to kiss her.

He fooled him.

You are mad at him.

And I want to punch you.

Really?

He fooled him.

You are mad at him.

You missed one thing. I want to punch you.

He fooled him.

You are mad at him.

And I want to punch you.

The salary that you're keeping for me, could you...

What did you say?

-Nothing. -Before...

I'm no before.

-Sorry, I can't. -Cut.

I think, I have to help you!

The other day, I was walking alone on Nathan Road.

When I reached number nine, a fat woman waved at me.

She said, "Five cents for a haircut!" That's why I followed her.

As always, you get what you pay for.

What is this Equilateral triangle?

-A birthmark. -Birthmark?

Fun, you've lots of acne.

Not too bad, Madam.

You dropped something!

It's a domino!

What if he pays you a thousand dollars...

Action!