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BUSINESSMEN VS ALIENS
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EPISODE 1
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What's happening? What's going on?
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Thank you for your effort.
You are Mr. Koji Saneyoshi, correct?
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Yes.
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Please wait here
until you're briefed on the situation.
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Wait, wait, wait.
Briefed on what, exactly?
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Oh.
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The specifics of your work here.
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Didn't someone explain it to you
back on Earth?
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Yes. They did,
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but I was out on a sales call,
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walking along Shibuya,
this guy in glasses appeared and said,
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"You've been chosen
to be part of the Earth Defense Forces."
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That's all you need to know.
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Huh. Oh, no, no, no.
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What does it mean
to be chosen for the Earth Defense Forces?
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Are you supposed to say, "Alrighty then"?
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I'll never say, "Alrighty then" anyway.
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I'm not the kind of guy who says,
"Alrighty then."
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When you're told
that you're Earth Defense Forces,
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you go, "Oh, um, what?"
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I can't say, "Yes, sir!"
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If I did say, "Yes, sir,"
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it would be because I was influenced
by the term Earth Defense Forces.
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Oh, no, no, no!
I'm so flustered right now.
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I'm so confused that I'm rambling on
like an idiot. Wait! Hold on a second!
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Wait a minute. Is this some kind of scam?
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Scam? This is an official task force run
by the Japanese National Cabinet Office.
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What... Where the hell am I then?
Is this a movie studio? Are we filming?
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Are we in a film studio? Warner Brothers?
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-This is the moon.
-The Moon?
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Look. You can see the Earth from here.
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That's not my point.
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Oh, no, no, no...
This isn't possible. For real?
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A guy in glasses
flashed some weird light beam at me
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and now I'm on the moon? Impossible!
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Being flashed with a weird light beam
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and then being on a movie set
is more believable?
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Well...
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If you've been flashed
with a weird light beam
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which do you think
is more likely to be real?
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Did I warp? Did I?
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It's actually very easy to warp nowadays.
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Of course,
there are various problems related to it,
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so it hasn't been disclosed to the public.
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Anyway, please wait here to be briefed.
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Oh, wait, wait, wait!
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Yes?
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Can I just step out for a moment?
As long as I'm waiting around.
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-Step out?
-Yes, outside.
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What would happen if I went outside?
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-You would die.
-Of course.
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It's the moon, after all.
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I still don't fully believe it, but...
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Alrighty then.
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Thank you very much.
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Yes, sir!
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Yes, sir!
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I should stop joking about this.
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What the hell?
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I didn't think I'd get to see the Earth
from the outside in my lifetime.
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Hey!
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You're part of
the Earth Defense Forces, too?
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Oh... Yes...
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-You all are, too?
-Yep!
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Where were you?
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In the cafeteria.
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There's a cafeteria?
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You can only get gross space food
from a vending machine, though.
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Hello?
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-There's reception?
-Yeah, I had urgent business to attend to.
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It's late notice,
but could you fill in for me?
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Yes, I'll be there tomorrow.
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Okay, thank you so much.
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Everyone's a bit frazzled,
having been taken all of a sudden.
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Everyone needed to reschedule things.
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I know, right? I'm so glad
that I said I'd go straight home.
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Do you know what's going on?
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Not at all.
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We're going to battle the aliens.
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With these members?
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They said we don't have to do much.
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Yeah, but...
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What do you mean the Earth Defense Forces
don't require you to do much?
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00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:08,433
Can these aliens be beaten easily
and with little effort?
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00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:12,867
To begin with, what do you think
of aliens existing alongside us?
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I'm a PE teacher at a junior high school.
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They said I could continue working
while I did this.
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Really? You can treat this
as a secondary job?
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The glasses guy I met at Shibuya!
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We'd like to begin
your orientation training.
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Please come over here, everyone.
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Orientation?
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Orientation?
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Please take a seat.
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On the floor, please.
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It's quite cool to sit on the floor
of a space station.
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-Excuse me.
-Yes?
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With my body type,
it's hard for me to sit on the floor.
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Please sit any way
that is comfortable for you.
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Thank you.
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Firstly, thank you, everyone,
for coming all the way to the moon.
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Were you surprised
not to find any rabbits here?
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You didn't get it.
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Did anyone get the joke?
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We are asking all of you to defend Earth,
starting from today.
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We have some rules
that we'd like you to follow.
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The reason why you were chosen
to be part of Earth Defense Forces is...
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-Our odor?
-Correct.
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Correct. All of you have Low Odor Waves
that the aliens hate.
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Odor as in smell, if you know what I mean.
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You have these Low Odor Waves.
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This is a special type of odor
that only Japanese people have.
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We sampled every single person in Japan
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and found that the five of you here
were the only ones with that trait.
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Do you understand?
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What?
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They hate our smell, so they'll run away
just because we're there?
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That's what we think.
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"Thinking" it is not enough.
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It gets rather complicated from here.
123
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Let me use a diagram to explain.
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Aliens from outer space
have been thought to come to Earth
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through this passage
between the Earth and the moon.
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We will guide the aliens
through to this Space Pit
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using a sucking beam.
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A sucking beam?
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Couldn't you think of a more spacey term
for it? Oh, are you okay?
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When those aliens arrive at this Space Pit
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I need you to persuade them
to go back to their own planet.
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Persuade them
to give up on invading Earth.
133
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We'd like to avoid confrontation
as much as possible.
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Use of force
could lead to further conflicts.
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If...
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If they do not engage in negotiations,
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then, and only then, will we use force.
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Do we need those pictures?
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I know, right? So not needed.
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It's unrelated.
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I know, right, totally unrelated.
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I thought no one else noticed!
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Shall I hold it up, then?
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Moving on.
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If the aliens
do not engage in negotiations,
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only then will we use force.
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The aliens do not like your odor,
to begin with.
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When we go into battle,
they will try to run from you.
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If you show them your armpits,
they will all become frantic and run.
150
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And while they are frantically running...
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Excuse me. That's a film,
so there's no point in holding it up.
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I know, right? No point whatsoever.
153
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I was looking at it
and didn't understand a thing.
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Why isn't anyone saying anything?
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When you put the films
on top of each other...
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Let us continue.
When they are running frantically,
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-we will attack them.
-Excuse me.
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-Yes.
-You made it sound really easy,
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but how are we supposed to fight an alien?
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That's right! None of us have the ability
to fight those aliens.
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Yes.
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I knew you were going to ask that.
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Now Kandabayashi and I
will give you a demonstration.
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Oh, great. Please do.
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Demonstration?
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00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:03,633
Oh, it stinks! Oh, my God, no!
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Take this!
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-Take this!
-Stop it. It smells so bad.
169
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:10,166
But you're not going to beat me so easily!
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Wait a minute.
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You're underestimating these aliens.
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Their strength
should be around this level.
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How weak!
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Even if they were to retaliate...
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Oh, it's so smelly! Oh, my God, no!
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-Take this!
-We already saw this.
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It smells so bad! But you're not
going to beat me so easily!
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Hey, you just wanna do the "Waaaaay!" bit.
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There's no need.
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You just added a bit of action.
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We think their strength
is around this level.
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They seem to be weaklings. Then there's
no reason to be scared, is there?
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-May I ask a question?
-Yes.
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If they are so weak,
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00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,233
why can't we beat them
once they land on Earth?
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00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,900
-Well, I guess...
-What do you mean, "I guess"!
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00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,433
If one of us
were to come across one of the aliens,
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we should just beat them then and there.
189
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,533
But these are aliens from outer space.
190
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,367
If they enter Earth,
it will cause trouble for us.
191
00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:24,800
It's possible that they might be carrying
something bad like a virus.
192
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,433
It's quite possible.
193
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,433
You keep talking about possibilities.
194
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,800
Are these aliens really coming?
195
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,200
It's quite possible that they may come.
Or they may not come.
196
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:35,100
Enough with this "quite possible" thing.
Which is it, are they coming or not?
197
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,867
There's a little bit of uncertainty there.
198
00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:39,233
We need to be certain!
199
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,300
Then they're coming!
200
00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:43,033
Don't you snap at me!
What do you mean by "then"?
201
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,867
This isn't a situation to laugh at.
202
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:47,100
Okay?
203
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:49,767
You're the only one laughing!
204
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:50,700
It's not funny...
205
00:10:50,767 --> 00:10:53,000
The government says that they are coming.
206
00:10:53,066 --> 00:10:55,166
Apparently, they've been around the moon.
207
00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:57,033
But so far,
there are no confirmed sightings.
208
00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:01,367
Although there are no confirmed sightings,
we know that they're out there,
209
00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:03,367
so we need to have plans
in case they come!
210
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:05,333
I'm still not convinced.
211
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:11,066
It's a really awkward atmosphere.
212
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,266
That's the Prime Minister calling us!
213
00:11:18,734 --> 00:11:21,500
We're leaving,
as we need to contact the Prime Minister.
214
00:11:21,567 --> 00:11:25,100
Hey, isn't that a convenient time
to be called upon!
215
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,100
Hey!
216
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:36,567
All right!
So we don't all need to be here at once.
217
00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:40,300
Let's do a roster so that
two or three of us are here at all times.
218
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,000
Can we do that?
219
00:11:43,066 --> 00:11:45,200
I need to study for my entrance exams.
220
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,767
Let me return to Earth.
221
00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:48,867
-Preparing for entrance exams?
-Yes, they're right around the corner.
222
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:51,400
You can study here, can't you?
223
00:11:51,967 --> 00:11:53,667
I've been brought here suddenly!
224
00:11:53,967 --> 00:11:55,333
I don't have any textbooks!
225
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,266
-Hamada, you can stay, right?
-Well...
226
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:59,467
I'm Hamada. Shinko Hamada.
227
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:03,233
Oh, I'm Koji Saneyoshi.
228
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,567
Kanta Ushiyama.
229
00:12:06,066 --> 00:12:07,233
Luchini Aoyama.
230
00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:09,066
Huh?
231
00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,834
I'm in a band. I'm Luchini Aoyama.
232
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,100
Your real name?
233
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:19,867
It's Luchini Aoyama.
234
00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:22,533
-You're in character?
-What do you mean?
235
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,266
I'm Tokio Mishima.
236
00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:28,066
Let's draw up a roster then.
237
00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:31,734
Wait a minute. Why are you guys
so quick to accept the situation we're in
238
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:32,867
as a normal state of affairs?
239
00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:37,834
Why are you looking at me like that?
240
00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:39,633
Don't you have any doubts?
241
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,867
I'm still unconvinced.
I still don't believe we're on the moon!
242
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:45,233
I still think this is a movie set
or something.
243
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:46,967
-This is the moon.
-What?
244
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,133
How can you be so sure?
245
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:51,100
Because I was the first to come here.
246
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:52,967
I was so bored.
247
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:56,133
I told the guy who brought me here
to take me on a tour of the moon.
248
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,400
He lent me a space suit.
249
00:12:58,133 --> 00:12:59,734
-You went outside?
-Yep.
250
00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:02,500
I walked along the crater and everything!
251
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,867
You're kidding!
252
00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:05,800
Like the Apollo crews did.
253
00:13:06,066 --> 00:13:07,600
No way!
254
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:11,000
While we were having lunch, we figured
it's just something we'll have to do.
255
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,000
So you guys have been here for a while
and you've accepted your fate already.
256
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:18,800
Well, we're employed by the Cabinet Office
so the pay should be quite good.
257
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:22,867
Wow, you're very logical in your thinking!
258
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,900
-Let's decide on a roster!
-No! Can't do it.
259
00:13:26,967 --> 00:13:29,600
No, I'm not ready yet.
I'm not on the same level as you guys.
260
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,266
I haven't reached
your degree of determination!
261
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:35,333
I still can't believe that I warped here!
262
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,867
Of course it's possible.
263
00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:39,066
We're in an age in which cars can move
without us steering them.
264
00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:40,934
That's totally different!
265
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,333
That's a different level of technology!
266
00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:46,266
Warping from Japan onto a spaceship!
267
00:13:46,333 --> 00:13:48,266
Warping is no ordinary thing.
268
00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:50,700
In Star Wars, they can all go whoosh
and end up in a different universe.
269
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:53,967
Warping is a big deal.
We're traveling across time and space.
270
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,300
What happened in your case? What's that?
271
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,367
Did you have a weird beam flashed at you
and you were suddenly here?
272
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:01,233
No, no, no. That can't be!
273
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,200
Let's do a roster.
274
00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:04,800
-What are you, a teacher?
-Damn right I am!
275
00:14:04,867 --> 00:14:06,300
I told you I'm a PE teacher!
276
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:09,066
If we're doing a roster,
could you hurry up and decide?
277
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:11,967
I want to go back to Earth immediately.
I need to study!
278
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:15,266
-Calm down. You're Ms. Hamada.
-Hamada.
279
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:16,734
You're Mr. Saneyoshi, right?
280
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,200
Since you're a teacher,
you're great with names.
281
00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:21,500
I can't do it, after all.
Isn't it weird? I can't accept it.
282
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:25,100
The government can't force us to do this
against our own free will!
283
00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:27,834
We've all got our lives to live.
284
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,834
We've all got families and a day job.
285
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,533
It's the same as jury duty.
286
00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:35,300
If you're chosen,
you have to fulfill your duty.
287
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:36,934
That was our conclusion.
288
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,633
We all felt the same way at first.
289
00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:44,467
When you're on jury duty
you only need to observe a trial.
290
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:46,633
In our case, it could be dangerous.
291
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,533
We'll have to fight aliens!
292
00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:02,433
Why are you laughing?
I didn't say anything funny.
293
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,033
There are no aliens!
294
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,300
Do you really believe that aliens exist?
295
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:11,600
Of course they don't exist!
You just have to come here now and again,
296
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:15,033
report that nothing happened
during your watch, and get paid.
297
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,600
-They don't exist?
-Of course not!
298
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,533
What's wrong with you?
You're already past 40, aren't you?
299
00:15:21,066 --> 00:15:24,800
A middle-aged man like you,
talking about Star Wars and aliens.
300
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,367
No, stop it. Don't laugh!
301
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:28,667
That's not what I meant!
302
00:15:28,734 --> 00:15:33,533
Don't laugh! It's a generational thing!
We believed in that!
303
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,533
I just believed it!
304
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,133
A spaceship has been spotted
just off the moon.
305
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,066
A SPACESHIP FOUND!
306
00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:41,533
The sucking beam will be used
to guide them here.
307
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:45,000
We will beam the aliens
up to the meeting room.
308
00:15:45,066 --> 00:15:46,633
Please head there
to begin negotiations immediately.
309
00:15:53,266 --> 00:15:54,867
It must be some sort of a joke, right?
310
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:57,200
They must have mistaken
a satellite for a spaceship.
311
00:15:57,266 --> 00:16:00,266
Let's just go to the meeting room
to make them happy.
312
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:03,333
We'll decide on the roster later.
313
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:11,567
Shut up.
314
00:16:13,133 --> 00:16:14,166
No way.
315
00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,166
Is this it?
316
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,200
In this room,
317
00:16:21,266 --> 00:16:23,800
your conversation with the aliens
will be translated automatically.
318
00:16:23,867 --> 00:16:25,667
We ask for a swift negotiation.
319
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:29,000
No way.
320
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,533
What is that? Are they making a movie?
321
00:16:33,734 --> 00:16:34,834
Excuse me.
322
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:36,233
It spoke!
323
00:16:37,033 --> 00:16:39,533
I'd like to go to Earth
as soon as possible.
324
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:47,033
Hey, hey...
325
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,533
Um...
326
00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,266
You
327
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,300
are
328
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,867
an alien?
329
00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:16,367
An alien...
330
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:19,333
I came from a planet called Parol.
331
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,233
Parol?
332
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:23,667
Yes.
333
00:17:24,233 --> 00:17:27,533
To me, you guys are the aliens.
334
00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:30,000
Oh, yeah. We are aliens...
335
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:33,567
-You can just talk normally.
-I see.
336
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,633
Did you come here alone?
337
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:41,667
Oh, no. There were five of us,
but the other four died on the way.
338
00:17:41,734 --> 00:17:43,533
Oh, my.
339
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,734
Planet Parol got infected by a virus
we don't understand.
340
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,967
That virus threatened to wipe out
everything on the planet.
341
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:57,233
So we left on a journey to find
another planet that we could move to.
342
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:02,433
So, those other members
were also killed by the virus?
343
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:06,633
No, we're quite a weak species
to begin with.
344
00:18:06,834 --> 00:18:11,500
Our mothers carry us for 10 years,
and we die after about a week.
345
00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:12,433
Like a cicada.
346
00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,200
What is that?
347
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:17,033
Does your mother live a long life?
348
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,367
There's only one mother
for the whole planet.
349
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,100
Like a bee, then.
350
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,633
What is that?
351
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,400
So what you're saying is,
352
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,100
you guys normally die in a week,
353
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:31,300
but you're migrating because the virus
kills you in a single day?
354
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,633
That's right.
We usually live for about a week,
355
00:18:35,934 --> 00:18:40,834
but with this strange virus,
some of us die in as little as half a day.
356
00:18:41,066 --> 00:18:41,967
Like a mayfly.
357
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:45,900
How many babies
do your mother give birth to every day?
358
00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:47,533
Ten a day, on an average.
359
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,934
No, no, no.
I don't have time to talk like this.
360
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,233
I need to go inspect Earth quickly
and report back to our planet.
361
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,033
I'll also be dead
by the day after tomorrow.
362
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:58,266
Sorry. Um, okay.
363
00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,800
Can I summarize quickly? So...
364
00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:04,400
You don't want that virus
to kill your mother.
365
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,600
Oh, no. Mother is not weak like us.
366
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,033
That virus is a no match for Mother.
367
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,533
Then let me get this straight.
368
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:17,000
You guys only live for a week
to begin with,
369
00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:20,033
and this virus kills you in half a day.
370
00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:24,867
Okay, sorry. How can I put it...
371
00:19:25,633 --> 00:19:29,600
Can I be blunt? Sorry.
Let me be very blunt here...
372
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,400
Yes?
373
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,200
What's the problem?
374
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:53,367
What do you mean?
375
00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:54,834
Sorry, you know,
376
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:57,033
discussing someone who can live to be 100
377
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,900
but is dying in their prime, is one thing.
378
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,567
There are some of us who live to be 100.
379
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,200
-What? Really?
-Yes.
380
00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:03,767
Earthlings live that long?
381
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,567
Yeah. Well, the average is 70 to 80 years.
382
00:20:09,867 --> 00:20:12,166
So, if there were a virus
that would kill us in half a day,
383
00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:13,433
it would be a big deal.
384
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,867
We'd move right away.
385
00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:20,166
But for you, one week is shortened
to half a day. What do you think?
386
00:20:21,967 --> 00:20:23,400
What do I think?
387
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,133
-Is it a problem?
-What?
388
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:29,900
Even if you do die in half a day?
389
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,367
What's he touching?
390
00:20:47,266 --> 00:20:51,767
Well, you're saying that living
for one week and living for half a day
391
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,367
is pretty much the same thing.
392
00:20:53,433 --> 00:20:56,333
Comparatively speaking, yes.
393
00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,367
It's not the same.
That is way too extreme.
394
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,567
Yes, I know it's an extreme case.
395
00:21:02,633 --> 00:21:04,934
If you were to come to Earth,
396
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:07,533
will you be able to live amongst us?
397
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:08,867
That's not possible.
398
00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:12,000
After we wipe out the Earthlings,
399
00:21:12,066 --> 00:21:14,133
we'll make it a planet entirely our own.
400
00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:16,567
I see. In all seriousness,
401
00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:20,934
I think earthlings
are a much stronger species than yours.
402
00:21:24,734 --> 00:21:26,266
I know, right?
403
00:21:26,567 --> 00:21:28,667
Some of you guys live to be 100 years old!
404
00:21:28,734 --> 00:21:29,867
-Yes.
-I get it.
405
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:32,166
While I've been talking to you,
406
00:21:32,567 --> 00:21:36,033
it crossed my mind that there's no way
I can win against these people.
407
00:21:38,467 --> 00:21:39,700
I feel jealous.
408
00:21:42,033 --> 00:21:43,934
If you can die in a week,
409
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,133
you don't need to take any entrance exams.
410
00:21:48,734 --> 00:21:51,834
Don't say something so deep suddenly.
I'll listen to your story later.
411
00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:54,400
What should I do?
412
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,200
What should I do...
413
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:03,333
Could we live togeth...
414
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,500
-No way.
-That was quick.
415
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,533
That was a quick rejection.
416
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,433
We don't see any benefit
in allowing you to live on Earth.
417
00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:16,433
You can't turn carbon dioxide
into oxygen or anything, can you?
418
00:22:16,934 --> 00:22:18,200
-We can't.
-Then, no.
419
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:21,133
Oh, but we die very quickly,
420
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:25,000
so we turn into soil and become nutrients
in which you can grow lots of plants?
421
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,900
That's the same
with living things on Earth.
422
00:22:26,967 --> 00:22:28,433
-It's the cycle of life.
-Yes.
423
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:30,800
Any other skills? Anything special?
424
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,900
We don't need to find
any good things about him.
425
00:22:33,967 --> 00:22:35,200
But there must be something.
426
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,433
I can only think of "dying very quickly."
427
00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:42,033
Oh, and it feels really good
when I touch here.
428
00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:44,967
-We can't experience that.
-It feels good.
429
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,300
What else...
430
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,900
Oh, we eat quite a lot.
431
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:53,567
So if there's food left over at a party,
I can eat all of it.
432
00:22:53,667 --> 00:22:55,767
Wow, that's good!
433
00:22:55,834 --> 00:22:58,934
-Even if there's quite a lot left?
-Yes, I can polish it off easily.
434
00:22:59,567 --> 00:23:01,133
-That's good.
-And, well...
435
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,133
I can eat a lot more
436
00:23:03,233 --> 00:23:05,500
when I think I'll be dead
in a couple of days.
437
00:23:05,567 --> 00:23:08,867
Wow, that's good thinking.
438
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:10,333
Who gives a shit!
439
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,600
Like I've told you before,
just listen, okay?
440
00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:13,800
-Sorry.
-Listen only.
441
00:23:16,567 --> 00:23:19,567
-What is that thing?
-It bends in different directions.
442
00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:21,734
Is that all it does?
443
00:23:23,333 --> 00:23:25,033
Can I touch it?
444
00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:27,100
Yeah, maybe you can.
Do you want to touch it?
445
00:23:27,166 --> 00:23:28,333
-Yeah.
-Can he touch it?
446
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,567
-Yes.
-Gently, though.
447
00:23:30,767 --> 00:23:31,834
Should I?
448
00:23:32,333 --> 00:23:34,667
It's awesome!
You'll get to touch an alien!
449
00:23:37,867 --> 00:23:40,100
-Sorry.
-Stop it.
450
00:23:40,266 --> 00:23:42,667
I won't do it this time.
451
00:23:46,066 --> 00:23:48,934
-How was it? He felt good!
-How was it?
452
00:23:49,266 --> 00:23:50,400
Okay, how about this?
453
00:23:50,467 --> 00:23:54,867
The inhabitants of Parol
are not beings who live for a week,
454
00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:57,266
but beings which die in half a day.
How's that?
455
00:23:57,333 --> 00:23:59,533
Cicadas to mayflies,
it's not that different.
456
00:24:00,834 --> 00:24:06,834
Well, I guess we could think of it
that way, but...
457
00:24:08,233 --> 00:24:09,367
Hey, you.
458
00:24:09,734 --> 00:24:11,033
Here I am,
459
00:24:11,133 --> 00:24:13,800
being forced to make
a really hard decision,
460
00:24:13,867 --> 00:24:16,066
and you're reading a book
all of this time? Unbelievable!
461
00:24:16,133 --> 00:24:18,300
Shut up.
I'll rip off all of your tentacles.
462
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:24,000
I'm cramming for my entrance exams.
463
00:24:24,467 --> 00:24:28,200
I have no time for some alien
who's going to drop dead soon.
464
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:30,367
Stop it.
465
00:24:30,567 --> 00:24:33,400
Don't be too serious. Don't be so honest.
466
00:24:33,467 --> 00:24:35,300
We should try to get along.
467
00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:38,367
Come on, you made him cry.
468
00:24:38,433 --> 00:24:42,900
See, you should go home.
Go home. Think about it.
469
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:48,066
Think about it. You guys spend
most of your lives in your mother's womb.
470
00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:50,467
You enjoy your life in there.
471
00:24:50,667 --> 00:24:53,266
Once you're born, you're in the afterlife.
472
00:24:53,767 --> 00:24:55,767
It doesn't matter if your afterlife lasts
one week or half a day, does it?
473
00:24:55,834 --> 00:24:56,567
It doesn't.
474
00:24:57,166 --> 00:24:59,000
You're so convincing, old lady...
475
00:24:59,767 --> 00:25:02,333
I know.
I'm also a fan of the pop group Exile.
476
00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:04,600
-I don't know them...
-I'll rip your tentacles off.
477
00:25:04,667 --> 00:25:06,800
-Just give up and go home.
-They're just joking.
478
00:25:06,867 --> 00:25:08,633
They're very nice people.
479
00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:10,600
-It's just a joke.
-A joke.
480
00:25:10,867 --> 00:25:12,400
We can tell those jokes
because we've become friends.
481
00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:14,266
-I'll rip them off!
-No.
482
00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:17,367
He's just joking. Don't worry.
483
00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:20,600
He's just using a realistic tone.
484
00:25:20,667 --> 00:25:22,467
He wants to be friends with you.
485
00:25:22,533 --> 00:25:24,834
Why don't you give up and go home today?
486
00:25:25,133 --> 00:25:26,266
Maybe you're right.
487
00:25:27,133 --> 00:25:29,000
-I can't defeat you...
-Of course not!
488
00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:30,533
I'll rip them off!
489
00:25:30,934 --> 00:25:33,333
Stop, stop it!
490
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,367
-It doesn't sound like a joke.
-If you don't stop...
491
00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,467
You don't get our sense of humor,
that's all.
492
00:25:37,533 --> 00:25:40,066
By doing this,
he's trying to make his joke very funny.
493
00:25:40,133 --> 00:25:42,533
-Earthling humor is very difficult.
-That's right. Indeed.
494
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,834
Repetition makes things funny, you see.
495
00:25:46,166 --> 00:25:48,633
Then, should I go home?
496
00:25:51,934 --> 00:25:52,900
Hey, you.
497
00:25:53,467 --> 00:25:56,600
Do you have the ability to suck a specific
type of dust from the atmosphere?
498
00:25:56,934 --> 00:25:58,266
It's called PM 2.5.
499
00:25:58,934 --> 00:26:00,100
No way.
500
00:26:00,166 --> 00:26:01,533
I cough even if I breathe in heavily.
501
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,133
On your way then!
502
00:26:03,467 --> 00:26:04,867
I'll rip your tentacles off!
503
00:26:04,934 --> 00:26:06,066
You piece of shit!
504
00:26:06,934 --> 00:26:07,900
Piece of shit!
505
00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:10,567
They're screaming at you
because you react that way.
506
00:26:10,633 --> 00:26:12,433
They wanna see you scared.
507
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,233
They're just born weak.
508
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:21,266
It can't be helped, can it?
509
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,834
Hey, aliens turned out to be real.
510
00:26:29,667 --> 00:26:31,433
I didn't think they existed either.
511
00:26:32,433 --> 00:26:35,033
This is rather troublesome.
512
00:26:35,367 --> 00:26:37,867
We were lucky this time
because he was a weakling.
513
00:26:37,934 --> 00:26:39,667
But I think other aliens
are generally stronger.
514
00:26:39,734 --> 00:26:42,934
That's why our odor is an advantage.
515
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,200
We don't even know
how advantageous this odor is.
516
00:26:46,834 --> 00:26:48,166
-I'm out.
-Me too.
517
00:26:48,266 --> 00:26:50,333
Wait a minute, you guys.
518
00:26:50,867 --> 00:26:53,066
You accepted this job already.
519
00:26:53,133 --> 00:26:55,934
No way. We'll definitely be killed
when a powerful one comes.
520
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,166
According to the Cabinet Office guy,
521
00:26:58,233 --> 00:26:59,934
every alien is about as weak
as the one we met today.
522
00:27:00,066 --> 00:27:03,500
-Bullshit. They're obviously lying to us.
-Hey, you!
523
00:27:04,433 --> 00:27:05,667
You're in a band, right?
524
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,433
Where's your rock 'n' roll spirit?
525
00:27:10,433 --> 00:27:11,867
Rock n' roll spirit?
526
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,633
Who gives a shit!
527
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:21,900
Rock n' roll has nothing to do
with fighting aliens!
528
00:27:22,133 --> 00:27:25,166
I also don't want to do anything
that could endanger my life.
529
00:27:25,367 --> 00:27:26,800
I have a wife and child.
530
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,033
Such cowards, you are.
531
00:27:30,533 --> 00:27:33,400
I'm not going to abandon a job
that I've already accepted.
532
00:27:33,467 --> 00:27:35,033
That's enough. Just go home!
533
00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:36,700
It's a job for your country.
534
00:27:36,767 --> 00:27:38,667
Even if you do go back, I think
they'll bring you back straight away.
535
00:27:39,133 --> 00:27:40,900
Who gives a shit about the country!
536
00:27:40,967 --> 00:27:42,300
We're going home.
537
00:28:08,033 --> 00:28:08,900
No way!
538
00:28:09,166 --> 00:28:11,066
I told you! This is the government!
539
00:28:11,133 --> 00:28:12,467
Their way of doing things!
540
00:28:12,533 --> 00:28:13,633
I can't.
541
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,300
I can't work here in space!
542
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,500
Um, excuse me.
543
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,100
Can I help you?
544
00:28:30,066 --> 00:28:33,800
I was appointed
to the Earth Defense Forces.
545
00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:45,233
What? What's wrong with you guys?
546
00:28:46,533 --> 00:28:48,400
I'm going to study here today.
547
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:51,834
I agree.
548
00:28:51,934 --> 00:28:54,667
We can't go against the government.
549
00:28:55,867 --> 00:28:56,967
Oh, I see.
550
00:28:58,667 --> 00:28:59,633
So cute.
551
00:28:59,967 --> 00:29:03,033
You're thinking out loud there.
552
00:29:03,767 --> 00:29:04,500
Yes!
553
00:29:05,467 --> 00:29:06,867
Nice to meet you.
554
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,734
Nice to meet you too!
555
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,300
As a woman,
556
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,767
I wasn't attractive enough
to keep them here.
557
00:29:14,834 --> 00:29:16,867
-Absolutely!
-I haven't finished.
558
00:29:19,367 --> 00:29:20,633
So cute.
42313
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