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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:54,652 --> 00:01:57,042 So it's 6 PM in the night time... 2 00:01:57,042 --> 00:01:58,752 ... which is when I wake up. 3 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,881 This is always really scary part for me. 4 00:02:07,081 --> 00:02:09,410 Yes! Night time. 5 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,480 So, now I'm going to wake up my flat mates. 6 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,869 I really love living in a flatting situation. 7 00:02:17,869 --> 00:02:18,889 Wake up! 8 00:02:19,299 --> 00:02:21,388 Wake up everyone! 9 00:02:21,768 --> 00:02:24,188 I like to hang out with other vampires. 10 00:02:24,508 --> 00:02:26,238 I like the company. 11 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,987 Awaken! 12 00:02:28,987 --> 00:02:31,287 A wakey, wakey! 13 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:35,286 I just really like having a good time with my friends. 14 00:02:35,286 --> 00:02:36,856 Deacon... 15 00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:37,946 Hi! 16 00:02:37,986 --> 00:02:38,886 Hey! 17 00:02:38,886 --> 00:02:40,885 Deacon... 18 00:02:41,915 --> 00:02:43,575 How was your night, last night? 19 00:02:44,395 --> 00:02:47,134 I transformed into a dog and had sex. 20 00:02:47,304 --> 00:02:48,474 Cool! 21 00:02:48,664 --> 00:02:52,924 We're gonna have a little flat-meeting in the kitchen in about 15 minutes, okay? 22 00:02:53,563 --> 00:02:55,103 - Okay. - Okay. 23 00:02:55,293 --> 00:02:57,363 - Should I close this? - Yes. 24 00:02:58,483 --> 00:02:59,932 Vladislav?! 25 00:03:01,972 --> 00:03:04,142 Sorry! Sorry! 26 00:03:08,191 --> 00:03:08,911 What? 27 00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:11,181 - Hey! - What time is it? 28 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,880 Umm, we're going to have a flat-meeting in about 10 minutes. 29 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:15,750 20. 30 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:17,130 Okay... is it... 31 00:03:31,568 --> 00:03:32,917 So we're... 32 00:03:33,037 --> 00:03:34,627 ...in Petyr's room. 33 00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:36,747 I'm just going to wake him up. 34 00:03:54,814 --> 00:03:56,124 Petyr? 35 00:03:57,144 --> 00:03:58,753 Petyr?! 36 00:04:01,953 --> 00:04:03,623 Petyr, wake up. 37 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:10,442 Hey, listen. We're just having a flat-meeting upstairs in about 10 minutes. 38 00:04:10,842 --> 00:04:13,111 You don't have to come but I thought I'd 39 00:04:13,111 --> 00:04:15,871 extend an invitation to you just in case. 40 00:04:15,991 --> 00:04:16,981 Umm.... 41 00:04:17,331 --> 00:04:21,010 There's a lot of stuff on the floor down here, Petyr, and... 42 00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:23,830 ... like this seems, I don't... AH! 43 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,829 It's a spinal column, yuck! 44 00:04:26,149 --> 00:04:27,959 And I was thinking, maybe... 45 00:04:28,139 --> 00:04:30,459 ... I just should bring a broom down here for you 46 00:04:30,459 --> 00:04:33,848 if you wanted to sweep up some of the skeletons. 47 00:04:34,168 --> 00:04:35,138 I don't know. 48 00:04:35,178 --> 00:04:36,178 You know... 49 00:04:37,298 --> 00:04:38,347 Okay. 50 00:04:40,307 --> 00:04:42,337 I got you this chicken. 51 00:04:46,356 --> 00:04:47,636 Is Petyr coming? 52 00:04:47,766 --> 00:04:49,496 - Should we be worried? - Petyr's... 53 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,856 ... 8000 years old. 54 00:04:50,856 --> 00:04:53,105 We're not going to have Petyr at the meeting. 55 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,285 Okay, so... 56 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:58,884 Wanted to have a quick chat about flat responsibilities because 57 00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:02,344 uh...guys I think that we're not all pulling our weight here. 58 00:05:02,364 --> 00:05:05,443 We're not just pointing the finger at you, Deacon. 59 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,743 You're a cool guy but you're not pulling your weight in the flat. 60 00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:11,642 Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool. 61 00:05:12,342 --> 00:05:14,992 - No, that's not the point though... - Yeah, no, I know... 62 00:05:14,992 --> 00:05:17,102 It's not a flat meeting about how cool you are. 63 00:05:17,102 --> 00:05:19,081 - I do my flat chores. - No, you don't! 64 00:05:19,081 --> 00:05:21,281 - Yes, I do - No, that's why we're having the flat-meeting. 65 00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:25,060 The point is Deacon that you have not done the dishes for 5 years. 66 00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,020 Vladislav is right. 67 00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:30,709 It's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over the bench like that... 68 00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:33,119 I'm so embarrassed when people come over here. 69 00:05:33,129 --> 00:05:33,899 Why does it matter?! 70 00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:35,399 You bring them over to kill them! 71 00:05:35,889 --> 00:05:37,788 Vampires don't do dishes. 72 00:05:37,988 --> 00:05:41,628 Deacon's like the rebellious young vampire. 73 00:05:41,738 --> 00:05:45,697 He's always doing crazy things. Saying crazy things. 74 00:05:45,797 --> 00:05:49,127 He's just like the young, bad boy of the group. 75 00:05:49,537 --> 00:05:51,266 Okay, so... 76 00:05:52,216 --> 00:05:53,716 One day I was... 77 00:05:54,626 --> 00:05:56,576 ... selling my wears... 78 00:05:56,885 --> 00:05:59,495 And I walked passed this old creepy castle. 79 00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:01,475 and I look at it and think... 80 00:06:02,565 --> 00:06:04,264 ... 'very old and creepy.' 81 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,264 And then this creature... 82 00:06:06,314 --> 00:06:07,674 ... flies at me! 83 00:06:07,974 --> 00:06:11,363 It dragged me back to this dark dungeon. 84 00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:13,523 And bit into my neck. 85 00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:16,323 And just at the point of death... 86 00:06:16,453 --> 00:06:17,642 ... this creature... 87 00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:20,882 ... forced me to suck its foul blood. 88 00:06:21,192 --> 00:06:22,322 And then... 89 00:06:22,452 --> 00:06:24,831 ... it opened it's wings, like this. 90 00:06:25,071 --> 00:06:27,141 And hovered above me. 91 00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:28,671 Screeching. 92 00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:33,550 'Now you are vampire.' 93 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,110 And it was Petyr. 94 00:06:38,269 --> 00:06:40,129 And we're still friends today. 95 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:43,908 Vlad, you are great. You put out the recycling. 96 00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:45,438 Which was really cool. 97 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:46,198 And! 98 00:06:46,218 --> 00:06:49,867 The other day, I dragged mans body down the hallway, 99 00:06:49,947 --> 00:06:52,627 and noticed that there was no dust. 100 00:06:53,927 --> 00:06:56,856 Like, I kind of... I kind of swept the hallway. 101 00:06:56,886 --> 00:06:58,676 Vladislav, is just like... 102 00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,646 ... this older vampire who 103 00:07:00,646 --> 00:07:02,645 grew up in the medieval times. 104 00:07:02,765 --> 00:07:05,705 And you know, to be living this long 105 00:07:05,705 --> 00:07:08,175 and to have seen the things that he's seen 106 00:07:08,965 --> 00:07:11,364 and still like, kind of have it together, 107 00:07:12,294 --> 00:07:13,734 I mean, hat's off to him. 108 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,643 Bloody hell! 109 00:07:16,063 --> 00:07:17,313 Sorry! 110 00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:19,313 He's a really great guy. 111 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,313 A bit a of a pervert. 112 00:07:21,313 --> 00:07:24,842 He has some pretty old ideas about things. 113 00:07:24,842 --> 00:07:27,072 We should get some slaves! 114 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:30,751 When I first became a vampire... 115 00:07:30,941 --> 00:07:32,861 ... I was quite tyrannical. 116 00:07:32,861 --> 00:07:37,010 I was known for torturing a lot of people. 117 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,389 This is my torture chamber. 118 00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:46,059 I don't come in here, often anymore. 119 00:07:46,409 --> 00:07:50,148 I tempted to torture when I was in a bad place. 120 00:07:50,248 --> 00:07:53,528 My thing was, I would poke someone 121 00:07:53,528 --> 00:07:55,357 with implements. 122 00:07:55,407 --> 00:07:58,387 I was known as 'Vladislav the poker'. 123 00:08:00,277 --> 00:08:02,396 It's been like this the whole time... 124 00:08:02,426 --> 00:08:05,176 - Okay, so... - Viago is a little... 125 00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:06,596 ... pedantic. 126 00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:08,855 The washing and the rubbish, I did that. 127 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:12,825 Deacon, on dishes and it's still hasn't moved in 5 years. 128 00:08:12,835 --> 00:08:15,774 He was an 18th century dandy. 129 00:08:15,774 --> 00:08:18,224 So, he can be very fussy. 130 00:08:18,254 --> 00:08:19,804 He nags and nags... 131 00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:25,423 The lunch the other day and it was blood all over my nice antique couch. 132 00:08:25,473 --> 00:08:27,223 Which one, the red one? 133 00:08:27,343 --> 00:08:29,092 Well, it's red now, yah. 134 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,982 If you're going to eat a victim on my nice clean couch 135 00:08:31,982 --> 00:08:34,112 put down some newspaper on the floor 136 00:08:34,112 --> 00:08:36,011 and some towels. It's not hard to do. 137 00:08:36,011 --> 00:08:39,711 We're vampires! We don't put down towels. 138 00:08:39,711 --> 00:08:41,710 Some vampires do. 139 00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:43,790 Well, not serious ones! 140 00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,990 When you get 4 vampires in a flat 141 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,489 obviously there's going to be a lot of tension. 142 00:08:49,489 --> 00:08:53,039 There's tension in any, any flatting situation. 143 00:08:53,049 --> 00:08:57,878 It's settled then. We all do our jobs, starting with a certain Deacon... 144 00:08:57,968 --> 00:09:00,727 I will do my dishes! 145 00:09:20,484 --> 00:09:22,104 This is bullshit. 146 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:04,378 Well, I became a vampire when I was 16. 147 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:07,357 That is why I always look 16. 148 00:10:07,877 --> 00:10:11,997 In those days, of course, life was tough for a 16 year old. 149 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,215 Vampires have had a pretty bad rec. 150 00:10:25,545 --> 00:10:29,894 We're not these mopey old creatures who live in castles. 151 00:10:30,084 --> 00:10:33,133 And while some, most of us are, a lot are... bats. 152 00:10:33,143 --> 00:10:36,383 There are also, those of us, who like to flat together in 153 00:10:36,393 --> 00:10:38,353 really small countries like New Zealand. 154 00:10:48,601 --> 00:10:51,311 I was a Nazi vampire. 155 00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:00,889 After the war, which the Nazi's lost... 156 00:11:01,629 --> 00:11:04,549 I don't know, if you know that the Nazi's lost... 157 00:11:04,609 --> 00:11:05,648 ... that war. 158 00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:07,868 If you were a Nazi, after the war... 159 00:11:09,018 --> 00:11:11,108 ...and if you were a vampire... 160 00:11:13,007 --> 00:11:16,327 ... and if you were a Nazi vampire... 161 00:11:16,617 --> 00:11:18,057 No way. 162 00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:19,676 I was out of there. 163 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,889 Yah, I came to this country for love. 164 00:12:07,499 --> 00:12:10,359 Uh, there was a girl. Human girl. 165 00:12:10,519 --> 00:12:11,898 And... 166 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,038 ... I... 167 00:12:13,078 --> 00:12:15,478 ... thought she was fantastic. She was... 168 00:12:15,508 --> 00:12:17,348 ... absolutely amazing. 169 00:12:17,348 --> 00:12:18,667 I was smitten. 170 00:12:18,827 --> 00:12:22,487 Her family emigrated to New Zealand. 171 00:12:22,697 --> 00:12:24,556 And, I thought, 172 00:12:24,666 --> 00:12:26,276 'you know what, to hell with it. 173 00:12:26,306 --> 00:12:29,806 I'm gonna go. I'm going to chase her and tell her how I feel.' 174 00:12:29,876 --> 00:12:31,805 I told my servant Phillip, 175 00:12:31,805 --> 00:12:33,965 'Send me to New Zealand.' 176 00:12:34,055 --> 00:12:34,795 He... 177 00:12:34,915 --> 00:12:37,534 ... put the wrong postage on my coffin. 178 00:12:37,534 --> 00:12:40,784 So the whole journey took about 18 months. 179 00:12:42,764 --> 00:12:44,683 And when I got here, she had... 180 00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:46,863 ... found someone else. 181 00:12:48,173 --> 00:12:50,233 She had fallen in love. 182 00:12:50,982 --> 00:12:52,302 And... 183 00:12:52,592 --> 00:12:54,362 She was married. 184 00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,660 She gave me this before she left. 185 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,099 There she is. 186 00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:15,169 That's me, I put myself in there too. 187 00:13:16,968 --> 00:13:19,258 She told me in was pure silver. 188 00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:21,578 Unfortunately... 189 00:13:21,728 --> 00:13:24,287 ... we vampires can not wear silver. 190 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:46,844 Yeah... 191 00:13:48,324 --> 00:13:51,043 It's about as long as I can wear that. 192 00:14:16,979 --> 00:14:20,089 Tonight, we are going out into Wellington center. 193 00:14:20,289 --> 00:14:22,109 It is important that we look good. 194 00:14:22,169 --> 00:14:23,548 Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. 195 00:14:23,548 --> 00:14:28,648 One of the unfortunate things about not having a reflection is that you... 196 00:14:28,708 --> 00:14:30,977 ... don't know exactly what you look like. 197 00:14:32,817 --> 00:14:33,797 Look! 198 00:14:33,877 --> 00:14:35,906 A ghost cup! 199 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:39,086 Floating all by itself! 200 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,586 We can give each other feedback and 201 00:14:41,616 --> 00:14:44,335 help each other out until we're looking great. 202 00:14:44,515 --> 00:14:46,865 Yes, some of our clothes are from victims. 203 00:14:46,945 --> 00:14:48,964 We might bite someone and then... 204 00:14:49,224 --> 00:14:51,774 ... you think, 'ooh, those are some nice pants!'. 205 00:14:51,854 --> 00:14:53,074 - Do work these? - NO! 206 00:14:53,244 --> 00:14:53,814 Change it! 207 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,773 When you are a vampire, you become very sexy. 208 00:15:00,343 --> 00:15:03,622 We are trying to attract victims to us. 209 00:15:03,622 --> 00:15:05,142 Not sure about the waist coat. 210 00:15:05,152 --> 00:15:08,541 I go for a look which I call Dead But Delicious. 211 00:15:08,811 --> 00:15:10,641 We are the bait. 212 00:15:10,641 --> 00:15:12,641 But we're also the trap. 213 00:15:12,751 --> 00:15:14,481 Hello, ladies. 214 00:15:36,127 --> 00:15:39,627 And my love, we are ready to go into town and party! 215 00:15:39,627 --> 00:15:41,626 Vampire... vampire style. 216 00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:54,184 When we go into town, we must try to blend in. 217 00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:55,614 We are walking the streets. 218 00:15:55,614 --> 00:15:58,254 Coming into town. Um, it's really cool because 219 00:15:58,254 --> 00:15:59,914 just for one brief moment 220 00:15:59,914 --> 00:16:00,504 I feel... 221 00:16:00,504 --> 00:16:01,603 Homos! 222 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,342 The trouble with being a vampire is you 223 00:16:11,342 --> 00:16:13,662 have to be invited in, to go in. 224 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:16,361 We would like to come into the bar, please. 225 00:16:16,361 --> 00:16:18,361 Invite us into the bar, please. 226 00:16:18,361 --> 00:16:20,360 Keep walking. 227 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,090 You invite us in! 228 00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:24,380 If the humans find out what we were... 229 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:26,700 ... they would destroy us. 230 00:16:26,999 --> 00:16:31,169 There are between 60 and 70 vampires in the greater Wellington region. 231 00:16:31,169 --> 00:16:33,059 - Obvious vampire. - Joline! 232 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:33,738 Hello! 233 00:16:33,788 --> 00:16:35,278 How embarrassing. 234 00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:38,098 He's a guy I used to work with when I was human. 235 00:16:38,848 --> 00:16:40,717 - Is he gone? - Yeah, he's gone. 236 00:16:40,717 --> 00:16:42,287 I've been draining him all night. 237 00:16:42,287 --> 00:16:44,287 Been a very thirsty girl. 238 00:16:44,287 --> 00:16:46,776 Being bitten as a little boy or a little girl 239 00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:48,556 you always going to look the same age. 240 00:16:48,556 --> 00:16:49,666 What are you doing tonight? 241 00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,216 Going to kill some perverts? 242 00:16:51,216 --> 00:16:53,375 - Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile. - Cool. 243 00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:55,015 Okay, let's just go please. 244 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,935 - Have a good night, guys! - Yeah, you have a good night! 245 00:16:56,935 --> 00:17:01,414 The Big Kumara is vampire owned and operated, so we could always get in. 246 00:17:01,414 --> 00:17:05,044 It's the hottest night spot for vampires in Wellington. 247 00:17:05,114 --> 00:17:07,833 - Come on in, guys, come on in. - Thank you. 248 00:17:16,482 --> 00:17:19,042 Perhaps you could bring some people to the house. 249 00:17:19,112 --> 00:17:21,421 - Sure. - Perhaps some virgins? 250 00:17:21,491 --> 00:17:22,901 Virgins? Yep, okay. 251 00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:25,721 Any kind of preference in terms of gender or? 252 00:17:25,721 --> 00:17:27,190 Maybe some ladies? 253 00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:28,410 Yep. Ladies. 254 00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:30,370 Perhaps a guy? 255 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,870 One of each? 256 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,369 One of each should be cool. 257 00:17:33,449 --> 00:17:36,259 My relationship with Deacon is... 258 00:17:36,599 --> 00:17:38,699 ... well, I'm his familiar. He's my Master. 259 00:17:39,168 --> 00:17:42,168 He tells me what to do, I do it. 260 00:17:44,278 --> 00:17:47,337 We have the kind of master-servant relationship which works nicely. 261 00:17:47,337 --> 00:17:48,057 Actually. 262 00:17:48,057 --> 00:17:48,847 - Hello! - Hello. 263 00:17:48,927 --> 00:17:50,117 Oh, it's a little bit of blood. 264 00:17:50,117 --> 00:17:52,946 Um, my husband, he's a, he's a hemophiliac. 265 00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:55,066 You know, someone who bleeds a lot. 266 00:17:55,066 --> 00:17:55,636 Yeah. 267 00:17:55,956 --> 00:17:57,446 Any kind of age range? 268 00:17:57,516 --> 00:18:00,095 - Young. - But not, not kids? 269 00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,405 Not kids. 270 00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,085 18 to 30? 271 00:18:03,545 --> 00:18:05,634 Definitely younger than yourself. 272 00:18:05,634 --> 00:18:07,634 Okay, so 18 to 30. 273 00:18:07,694 --> 00:18:08,774 So it's a dinner party? 274 00:18:08,814 --> 00:18:09,914 - I'll be there? - Yes! 275 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,274 - Dinner party. - The guys we'll be there? 276 00:18:11,284 --> 00:18:11,744 Yes. 277 00:18:11,744 --> 00:18:13,023 - We will all be there? - Yes, we will dress up. 278 00:18:13,023 --> 00:18:15,643 - Okay, great. - And then... eat them. 279 00:18:16,043 --> 00:18:17,943 - Should be fun. - Okay, great. 280 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,112 I was just wondering if we could talk about the... 281 00:18:20,112 --> 00:18:22,572 You don't know of a night dentist? 282 00:18:22,642 --> 00:18:24,252 Because I have this thing here. 283 00:18:24,262 --> 00:18:27,201 I was just wondering if we could talk about the deal. 284 00:18:27,281 --> 00:18:28,531 - Hm? - The deal. 285 00:18:28,971 --> 00:18:31,820 - The dishes? - No, the... 286 00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:36,440 The deal is that he is going to give me eternal life. 287 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,499 Um, which is... 288 00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,009 ... very exciting. 289 00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,099 Well, I just feel like I kind of reached my potential and 290 00:18:43,099 --> 00:18:45,478 I wouldn't want to kind of, get any older before, I kind of... 291 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,058 I just feel like I'm the best version of myself that I can be. 292 00:18:48,108 --> 00:18:50,098 It's just that it's been 4 and a half years and I just 293 00:18:50,098 --> 00:18:52,097 I just want... doing your plans and... 294 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,377 Doing your dry-cleaning. Now I'm doing your dishes. 295 00:18:54,537 --> 00:18:55,877 Yeah... the dentist? 296 00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:58,936 And the dentist and it's just taking an awful long time, so I was just wondering... 297 00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:00,936 - Be gone! - Okay. 298 00:19:01,536 --> 00:19:03,496 - I see you later! - Okay. 299 00:19:13,914 --> 00:19:18,293 One of the most unfortunate things about being a vampire is that... 300 00:19:19,353 --> 00:19:21,933 ... you have to drink human blood. 301 00:19:21,933 --> 00:19:23,933 I like to make a real evening of it. 302 00:19:24,952 --> 00:19:26,542 Play some music. 303 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:29,132 Maybe give them some nice wine. 304 00:19:29,152 --> 00:19:33,321 It's their last moment alive so why not make it a nice experience. 305 00:19:35,121 --> 00:19:36,911 So... 306 00:19:36,911 --> 00:19:39,090 Tell we what you do, what do you... 307 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,670 I was thinking about going back to Uni, actually. 308 00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:42,200 Oh, you are? Lets put this over 309 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,390 there. 310 00:19:45,329 --> 00:19:47,409 University, yeah? 311 00:19:47,599 --> 00:19:50,149 Yeah, but after that, I'm gonna travel. 312 00:19:50,388 --> 00:19:51,118 Yeah... 313 00:19:51,318 --> 00:19:54,118 I really wanted to go over seas for ages, so.. 314 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,828 Saving out and I'm gonna go to Spain and 315 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,167 Italy and London and... 316 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:00,427 Yeah. 317 00:20:02,657 --> 00:20:04,896 Okay. Excuse me. 318 00:20:04,896 --> 00:20:06,896 Just put that there. 319 00:20:12,025 --> 00:20:13,835 There we go. 320 00:20:22,084 --> 00:20:23,114 Shit! 321 00:20:30,652 --> 00:20:33,002 Well, that didn't go so great. 322 00:20:33,202 --> 00:20:36,262 Um, I hit the main artery. 323 00:20:37,271 --> 00:20:40,741 So, yeah, it's a real mess in there, um... 324 00:20:41,461 --> 00:20:44,650 On the upside, I think she had a really good time. 325 00:21:02,338 --> 00:21:04,717 So, it's quite late and uh... 326 00:21:04,717 --> 00:21:08,477 I've managed to find a woman up, watching television. 327 00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:11,876 And, uh, she seems like she'd be a good victim. 328 00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:16,065 I'm just going to use hypnosis on her... 329 00:21:18,395 --> 00:21:20,255 See me... 330 00:21:21,835 --> 00:21:24,114 See me... 331 00:21:25,814 --> 00:21:28,923 She can't, she can't see me from that angle. 332 00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:31,833 Vladislav used to be extremely powerful. 333 00:21:31,913 --> 00:21:34,293 He could hypnotize crowds of people. 334 00:21:34,453 --> 00:21:37,252 Great orgies. 20-30 women. 335 00:21:37,312 --> 00:21:39,532 He could turn into all sorts of animals. 336 00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:41,712 But now he never get the faces right. 337 00:21:41,712 --> 00:21:44,451 He would kill anybody. Men, women. 338 00:21:44,531 --> 00:21:47,791 Children. Burning... everything. 339 00:21:47,791 --> 00:21:48,930 It was totally great. 340 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,570 But he suffered a humiliating defeat... 341 00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:55,289 ... at the hands of his arch nemesis... 342 00:21:55,289 --> 00:21:57,289 ... The Beast. 343 00:22:05,168 --> 00:22:07,328 And, he's never been the same. 344 00:22:07,518 --> 00:22:09,007 See me... 345 00:22:10,857 --> 00:22:12,967 See me... 346 00:22:14,377 --> 00:22:16,576 See me... 347 00:22:18,266 --> 00:22:20,526 See me... 348 00:22:22,115 --> 00:22:24,445 Would you like to come inside? 349 00:22:47,312 --> 00:22:48,901 Ah! 350 00:22:48,931 --> 00:22:51,181 - Jackie, welcome! Come in. - Hello. 351 00:22:52,111 --> 00:22:54,510 This is Nick. Ex-ex boyfriend. 352 00:22:54,610 --> 00:22:56,090 - And Josefine. - Nice house. 353 00:22:56,090 --> 00:22:58,900 And this is Deacon, my over seas friend from Europe. 354 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:01,689 Deacon and his friends need... 355 00:23:01,779 --> 00:23:02,749 ... victims. 356 00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:05,599 Hi! Please come in, welcome. 357 00:23:05,599 --> 00:23:07,598 There can't be people that... 358 00:23:08,568 --> 00:23:10,068 ... I actually 359 00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:13,588 envious them or like because of course they will become victims. 360 00:23:13,638 --> 00:23:15,667 Hi! Josefine? 361 00:23:15,827 --> 00:23:18,077 No, I sat next to you in English. Remember? 362 00:23:18,577 --> 00:23:20,996 Um, you used to call me the Jacksersist? 363 00:23:21,406 --> 00:23:23,266 No you did, no you did. Yeah. 364 00:23:23,346 --> 00:23:24,996 No, you started that. 365 00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:28,835 You were the one who started calling me that and then it kind of caught on. 366 00:23:29,335 --> 00:23:30,015 Yeah. 367 00:23:30,165 --> 00:23:32,755 Okay, bye then. Bye. 368 00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:33,754 She's in. 369 00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:39,774 You like that, Nick? 370 00:23:40,074 --> 00:23:41,793 Yep, it's nice. 371 00:23:43,653 --> 00:23:46,692 I will go and prepare dinner. 372 00:23:49,632 --> 00:23:51,942 Nick, are you a virgin at all? 373 00:23:52,192 --> 00:23:53,212 Um, what? 374 00:23:53,411 --> 00:23:56,351 Doesn't seem like... are, are you a virgin? 375 00:23:56,431 --> 00:23:58,591 - Yes. - Um, no. 376 00:23:59,091 --> 00:24:00,960 You were a virgin when we were seeing each other? 377 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:02,190 Yeah, I was 12. 378 00:24:02,390 --> 00:24:03,830 You said he was a virgin. 379 00:24:03,830 --> 00:24:06,489 I think we drink virgin blood because... 380 00:24:06,769 --> 00:24:07,989 ... it sounds cool. 381 00:24:08,059 --> 00:24:09,669 I think of it like this... 382 00:24:09,919 --> 00:24:12,229 If you're going to eat a sandwich.. 383 00:24:12,709 --> 00:24:16,348 You will just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it. 384 00:24:16,528 --> 00:24:18,998 Let's concentrate on Josefine than. 385 00:24:19,108 --> 00:24:20,617 Are you a virgin? 386 00:24:20,747 --> 00:24:21,927 I'm not, no. 387 00:24:22,007 --> 00:24:23,547 Okay, I'm really sorry. 388 00:24:23,597 --> 00:24:25,067 Because I totally... 389 00:24:25,067 --> 00:24:26,526 Him there is a Virgin. 390 00:24:26,706 --> 00:24:29,576 She looks like a virgin. She talks like a virgin, I mean... 391 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,236 Who would have sex with her, I wouldn't. 392 00:24:32,725 --> 00:24:33,905 I would. 393 00:24:34,885 --> 00:24:35,785 Oh. 394 00:24:37,725 --> 00:24:38,965 Okay, good. 395 00:24:38,965 --> 00:24:41,814 - It's 2 dinners... yum. - Nick. 396 00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:43,964 Do you like bisghetti? 397 00:24:44,184 --> 00:24:46,133 Uh... yep. I usually like it. 398 00:24:46,393 --> 00:24:48,523 But, be better if it was warm? 399 00:24:48,743 --> 00:24:50,243 So, this is my favorite trick. 400 00:24:50,403 --> 00:24:53,842 We present our guest with a plate of bisghetti. 401 00:24:54,402 --> 00:24:57,822 And then, I would say, ' Why don't you eat some bisghetti?' 402 00:24:58,312 --> 00:24:59,581 Please, Nick. 403 00:24:59,711 --> 00:25:01,111 Eat some bisghetti. 404 00:25:03,031 --> 00:25:06,040 I didn't realize you enjoy eating worms. 405 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:06,910 Nick. 406 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,520 - No... - They are worms. 407 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,339 There's worms moving around on my plate. 408 00:25:12,339 --> 00:25:12,349 Worm like but not actually... There's worms moving around on my plate. 409 00:25:12,349 --> 00:25:14,309 Worm like but not actually... 410 00:25:14,389 --> 00:25:17,179 We stole that idea from The Lost Boys. 411 00:25:17,329 --> 00:25:19,098 But I put a nice twist on it. 412 00:25:19,098 --> 00:25:20,088 Nick. 413 00:25:20,178 --> 00:25:23,478 How does it feel to have a snake for a penis? 414 00:25:25,237 --> 00:25:26,047 Jackie? 415 00:25:26,077 --> 00:25:27,937 My penis has disappeared. It's a cobra snake. 416 00:25:27,937 --> 00:25:30,847 Nobody is gonna mistake your penis for a cobra, Nick, okay? 417 00:25:30,857 --> 00:25:32,236 - Believe me. - What have you put in my bisghetti? 418 00:25:32,256 --> 00:25:35,006 No, it is just a normal penis. 419 00:25:35,196 --> 00:25:37,306 I'm out. I'm out. 420 00:25:37,516 --> 00:25:39,175 Josefine? 421 00:25:39,175 --> 00:25:41,175 Do you like bisghetti? 422 00:25:43,045 --> 00:25:44,615 Look, these freaks... 423 00:25:44,994 --> 00:25:48,344 ... spike my bisghetti, make my cock turn into a snake is not cool. 424 00:25:48,434 --> 00:25:50,144 Not cool. 425 00:25:56,143 --> 00:25:57,573 You don't think this is weird? 426 00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:00,492 For fuck sakes... 427 00:26:06,721 --> 00:26:08,091 Jackie?! 428 00:26:08,331 --> 00:26:10,111 Jackie! 429 00:26:10,171 --> 00:26:12,530 - Sorry Nick. - What are you doing?! 430 00:26:13,470 --> 00:26:14,690 Jackie! 431 00:26:20,299 --> 00:26:21,409 Shit! 432 00:26:48,985 --> 00:26:50,105 Fuck off. 433 00:26:54,704 --> 00:26:55,904 Where am I? 434 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:19,370 Fuck. 435 00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:23,160 Fuck! 436 00:27:33,768 --> 00:27:34,678 Freaks! 437 00:27:44,506 --> 00:27:46,166 Ah, no... 438 00:27:46,736 --> 00:27:48,096 Petyr got him. 439 00:27:48,126 --> 00:27:49,725 Poor guy... 440 00:27:50,195 --> 00:27:51,825 Who let Petyr out? 441 00:28:50,916 --> 00:28:52,276 Hey, guys! 442 00:28:53,536 --> 00:28:55,076 Hey, what are you guys doing? 443 00:28:55,815 --> 00:28:57,225 What are you doing, Nick? 444 00:28:57,375 --> 00:28:58,865 Come into the house. 445 00:29:00,125 --> 00:29:01,784 - Hi, my name is Nick. - Hey, guys. 446 00:29:01,864 --> 00:29:03,524 I've been a vampire for 2 months. 447 00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:08,893 Probably, I reckon best thing about being a vampire is flying. 448 00:29:09,243 --> 00:29:11,463 Like I've always wanted to, I think everyone has always wanted to fly. 449 00:29:11,463 --> 00:29:13,203 And now I can do it. 450 00:29:18,782 --> 00:29:19,672 Oh... 451 00:29:23,671 --> 00:29:26,131 Nick, why don't you use the front door? 452 00:29:27,251 --> 00:29:28,650 Why would I? I'm flying. 453 00:29:29,290 --> 00:29:30,520 Petyr bit me. 454 00:29:30,670 --> 00:29:31,820 Sucked all my blood out. 455 00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:33,610 I woke up in his basement and... 456 00:29:33,610 --> 00:29:35,049 ... he offered me some blood. 457 00:29:35,249 --> 00:29:36,659 I just thought it was something... 458 00:29:36,659 --> 00:29:38,659 ... some German thing that these guys do. 459 00:29:38,809 --> 00:29:41,868 This transition, into becoming a vampire was pretty hard. 460 00:29:42,498 --> 00:29:46,498 I look like shit to start off with, like, I had a massive gash on my neck. 461 00:29:46,758 --> 00:29:48,437 Like you could see the inside of my neck. 462 00:29:48,557 --> 00:29:50,187 I had blood all over my top. 463 00:29:50,777 --> 00:29:53,057 And then I came home and I was sweating. 464 00:29:53,057 --> 00:29:54,776 I was either really hot or really cold. 465 00:29:55,026 --> 00:29:56,936 It was like a hang-over times 10, I reckon. 466 00:29:56,936 --> 00:29:58,336 It was really bad. 467 00:30:04,655 --> 00:30:06,515 It was quite similar to having the flu. 468 00:30:06,515 --> 00:30:08,924 Except, the only difference would probably be... 469 00:30:09,194 --> 00:30:11,144 ... that my eyes bleed heaps. 470 00:30:12,804 --> 00:30:14,453 Are you guys not cold? 471 00:30:14,953 --> 00:30:18,363 No, I can't really explain it. It's like, yeah, really hot and cold and like... 472 00:30:18,453 --> 00:30:20,622 ... bloody eyes and flying and stuff. 473 00:30:20,952 --> 00:30:23,432 The neighbors can see you flying around the house. 474 00:30:23,432 --> 00:30:25,512 You want to draw attention to his house, hm? 475 00:30:25,512 --> 00:30:27,771 You got a whole... documentary crew following you around. 476 00:30:27,831 --> 00:30:29,931 I am doing an erotic dance for my friends. 477 00:30:29,981 --> 00:30:32,061 And you ruined it. I was in the zone. 478 00:30:32,061 --> 00:30:33,451 My friends are loving it. 479 00:30:33,620 --> 00:30:35,250 I love it. I saw the end of it. It looked great. 480 00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:38,210 I don't, I don't know, if I'm, if I'm accepted yet. 481 00:30:38,410 --> 00:30:40,459 But... I don't know. I think it's getting there. 482 00:30:40,789 --> 00:30:42,799 I don't know the oldest stuff, but they're quite naive... 483 00:30:42,889 --> 00:30:44,279 ... when it comes to the real world. 484 00:30:44,769 --> 00:30:45,969 So... 485 00:30:46,169 --> 00:30:47,708 I don't know, it would be cool to just... 486 00:30:47,828 --> 00:30:49,418 Hang out with them. They could teach me some stuff. 487 00:30:49,418 --> 00:30:51,548 But I could probably teach them a few things. 488 00:30:58,897 --> 00:31:01,016 At the start it was like, 'Oh no, like I'm..' 489 00:31:01,516 --> 00:31:02,486 '... I'm dead.' 490 00:31:02,846 --> 00:31:06,745 It kind of affected my friendship with normal people, my family and stuff. 491 00:31:06,935 --> 00:31:09,415 But, of the way I see it, I've got a whole new family. 492 00:31:09,585 --> 00:31:13,434 They accept me for who I am. They don't even seem to know who they are. 493 00:31:14,114 --> 00:31:15,224 Even though... 494 00:31:15,344 --> 00:31:16,604 ... one of them killed me. 495 00:31:16,904 --> 00:31:18,484 Where should we go tonight? 496 00:31:18,554 --> 00:31:19,703 Let's go to the big Kumara. 497 00:31:19,723 --> 00:31:22,463 Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland? We never get in to Boogie Wonderland. 498 00:31:22,553 --> 00:31:24,923 My friend Richard's the bouncer. He can get us in. 499 00:31:24,923 --> 00:31:26,922 - What? Really? - I'll invite us in. 500 00:31:27,292 --> 00:31:29,592 - Stu is game. - He will come with us too? 501 00:31:29,752 --> 00:31:31,882 Ah, this is my friend Stu. 502 00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:34,341 - Hey. - He works in computers and stuff. 503 00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:36,361 Originally he went out with my sister. 504 00:31:36,441 --> 00:31:37,861 And then they broke up. 505 00:31:38,041 --> 00:31:39,540 I didn't want her to do it, but... 506 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,740 It's got nothing to do with me. 507 00:31:40,810 --> 00:31:43,140 And um... he can't hear me. 508 00:31:45,210 --> 00:31:46,569 Yeah, so basically... 509 00:31:47,109 --> 00:31:48,759 Stu doesn't know that I'm a vampire. 510 00:31:48,999 --> 00:31:51,059 And he doesn't know that my friends are vampires. 511 00:31:51,319 --> 00:31:52,448 He just thinks that I'm just... 512 00:31:52,678 --> 00:31:54,398 ... with some powerful friends. 513 00:31:55,258 --> 00:31:59,097 I bought a room in the house and he thought I bought a meal. 514 00:31:59,737 --> 00:32:00,567 Just like... 515 00:32:00,647 --> 00:32:02,357 ... it really, really sucks... 516 00:32:02,477 --> 00:32:04,177 ... that I can't eat him. 517 00:32:04,407 --> 00:32:06,686 I just want to like... 518 00:32:07,796 --> 00:32:10,456 Look at it. He's the reddest guy I know. 519 00:32:10,776 --> 00:32:12,455 Right, you can hear me. 520 00:32:13,215 --> 00:32:16,195 - Like computer based and stuff, heh, mainly? - Yeah, yeah. 521 00:32:16,335 --> 00:32:19,124 - Databases. - Yeah, like computers mainly. 522 00:32:20,404 --> 00:32:23,794 Let's have a vote for Boogie Wonderland or The Big Kumara. 523 00:32:24,174 --> 00:32:25,563 Big Kumara! 524 00:32:27,853 --> 00:32:28,853 Wait. 525 00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:31,223 Come on Stu, hurry up. 526 00:32:32,352 --> 00:32:35,412 I don't think Nick should have been turned into a vampire. 527 00:32:36,612 --> 00:32:38,192 He's such a dick. 528 00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:41,431 Looking great man! 529 00:32:41,541 --> 00:32:42,651 You are most welcome! 530 00:32:51,429 --> 00:32:53,249 We're in Boogie Wonderland! 531 00:32:53,249 --> 00:32:59,238 Here we are at Boogie Wonderland and it is so much fun. 532 00:33:00,588 --> 00:33:02,528 This is amazing! 533 00:33:02,528 --> 00:33:04,388 I'm so happy to be here. 534 00:33:04,877 --> 00:33:07,107 This is pretty cheesy. 535 00:33:07,107 --> 00:33:09,307 Also, did you see the jacket he wore? 536 00:33:09,867 --> 00:33:11,896 He's wearing the same jacket as me. 537 00:33:11,896 --> 00:33:14,296 - It's not exactly the same. - It's pretty close. 538 00:33:21,315 --> 00:33:23,265 I'm just loving being a vampire. 539 00:33:29,094 --> 00:33:31,103 Over there, is the big Fat Lady's Arms. 540 00:33:31,243 --> 00:33:34,123 Ah, on Wednesday's there be, like fear factor competition. 541 00:33:34,143 --> 00:33:37,482 You can win like t-shirts and hats and small prizes. 542 00:33:37,482 --> 00:33:39,482 I can smell werewolves. 543 00:33:39,682 --> 00:33:43,662 Okay, we're just about to walk passed some werewolves so some shit might go down! 544 00:33:43,722 --> 00:33:46,081 Look out guys. Don't catch flees. 545 00:33:46,211 --> 00:33:47,531 - What's that, mate? - Deacon. 546 00:33:47,581 --> 00:33:49,301 - Sorry what? - Keep going, keep walking. 547 00:33:49,301 --> 00:33:51,360 - Keep walking! - We heard that, mate. We've got sensitive hearing. 548 00:33:51,380 --> 00:33:52,450 - Have you? - Yeah. 549 00:33:52,450 --> 00:33:54,150 What are you filming? It's a music video, is it? 550 00:33:54,150 --> 00:33:55,940 We don't want any trouble. 551 00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:58,739 - Why did you start it? - Well, I do. Have I got your heckles up? 552 00:33:58,779 --> 00:33:59,259 Huh? 553 00:33:59,339 --> 00:34:01,819 Why don't you girls smell your own crutches, huh? 554 00:34:01,819 --> 00:34:03,109 - Come on. It's not worth it. - What are you talking about? 555 00:34:03,109 --> 00:34:06,108 We don't smell our own crutches. We smell each others crutches. 556 00:34:06,108 --> 00:34:08,108 And it's a... form of... greeting. 557 00:34:08,168 --> 00:34:09,828 Your own camera, mate, don't, don't... 558 00:34:09,828 --> 00:34:10,237 What? 559 00:34:10,287 --> 00:34:11,967 It's okay, cause I know this guy. 560 00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:13,177 It's count Fagula. 561 00:34:14,677 --> 00:34:16,287 Hey, hey, hey! Don't swear. 562 00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:18,186 - Sorry... they... they... - We're werewolves. 563 00:34:18,186 --> 00:34:19,196 - Not swearwolves. - What are we? 564 00:34:19,486 --> 00:34:21,116 We're werewolves, not swearwolves. 565 00:34:21,396 --> 00:34:24,675 - No, listen, that's offensive... - That's a really offensive word to call people. 566 00:34:24,705 --> 00:34:27,005 Well, at least you're talking about a bundle of sticks. 567 00:34:27,085 --> 00:34:28,675 Please, this bundle of sticks... 568 00:34:28,705 --> 00:34:29,755 Werewolves? 569 00:34:29,755 --> 00:34:32,344 - No, no, no! - Don't get it! Nathan it's not real. 570 00:34:32,344 --> 00:34:34,204 He's just gonna take of his gloves. 571 00:34:34,204 --> 00:34:36,433 Ah, shit, man! Why the fuck did you do that for? 572 00:34:36,433 --> 00:34:39,653 Hey! Don't swear. We're gonna lose it. We're gonna lose it. 573 00:34:39,653 --> 00:34:40,473 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey. 574 00:34:40,473 --> 00:34:41,643 Calm down. Calm down! 575 00:34:41,643 --> 00:34:43,042 - Get the fuck my glasses! - Dion! Dion! 576 00:34:47,102 --> 00:34:47,942 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 577 00:34:48,982 --> 00:34:50,591 Do the breathing! Do the breathing. 578 00:34:50,591 --> 00:34:52,711 Do the breathing. Count to 10, mate. Count to 10. 579 00:34:52,711 --> 00:34:54,051 - Come on. - Hold it. 580 00:34:54,051 --> 00:34:56,051 Count to 10, human again. 581 00:34:56,140 --> 00:34:57,730 - 10, human again. - It's alright. It's not full moon. 582 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:58,800 Thanks a lot guys. 583 00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:01,140 - Enjoy your night, yah? - You should be ashamed of yourselves, man. 584 00:35:01,210 --> 00:35:02,630 Great, we didn't want this to happen. 585 00:35:09,948 --> 00:35:10,858 - Come on guys. - Hey! 586 00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:12,858 Say it! Don't spray it, bitch! 587 00:35:12,978 --> 00:35:13,798 Declan! 588 00:35:14,018 --> 00:35:16,557 - Why are you swearing all the time?! - Well, he ride with me... 589 00:35:16,557 --> 00:35:18,557 - Were they actually werewolves? - Yeah. 590 00:35:18,557 --> 00:35:20,557 Are you okay, Stu? 591 00:35:22,406 --> 00:35:24,766 I just don't really know how to... 592 00:35:24,886 --> 00:35:26,896 ... approach this, cause I never done it before. 593 00:35:27,326 --> 00:35:29,485 Um, and he is a good friend. 594 00:35:29,695 --> 00:35:30,985 And I don't wanna... 595 00:35:31,545 --> 00:35:33,395 ... I don't want to break that friendship but.. 596 00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:37,004 ... then again, what do you do when someone tells you, that they're a vampire? 597 00:35:37,984 --> 00:35:40,014 I'm expecting him to be angry. 598 00:35:40,014 --> 00:35:43,673 He might be scared and expecting lot of things to, to bubble to the surface. 599 00:35:44,423 --> 00:35:46,013 You probably noticed, it has been... 600 00:35:46,723 --> 00:35:49,692 ... I've been going through a few changes lately. 601 00:35:50,812 --> 00:35:51,612 - Yeah. - Yeah? 602 00:35:51,652 --> 00:35:52,312 Yeah. 603 00:35:52,632 --> 00:35:53,702 Like... 604 00:35:53,992 --> 00:35:55,871 I don't show up for lunch anymore. 605 00:35:56,741 --> 00:35:58,261 - Yeah. - Have... 606 00:35:58,421 --> 00:36:00,981 ... changed the story of all of Tina's games. 607 00:36:01,041 --> 00:36:02,460 The night time, Tina's games. 608 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:03,310 Right... 609 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,320 And how you went from beating me 610 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,320 every time and how I 611 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,319 I've won the last 3? 612 00:36:10,479 --> 00:36:11,459 Yeah. 613 00:36:11,779 --> 00:36:12,569 So... 614 00:36:12,919 --> 00:36:14,269 The reason I brought you here... 615 00:36:15,178 --> 00:36:16,998 ... is to tell you that... 616 00:36:18,048 --> 00:36:19,548 ... I'm a vampire. 617 00:36:23,227 --> 00:36:24,577 Stu took it pretty well. 618 00:36:24,577 --> 00:36:26,577 He's definitely my best mate. 619 00:36:26,707 --> 00:36:27,997 And I'm not gonna eat him. 620 00:36:28,056 --> 00:36:29,796 But if they ever offer you bisghetti... 621 00:36:29,826 --> 00:36:32,016 Um.... you shouldn't eat it. 622 00:36:33,676 --> 00:36:35,515 They offered me biscotti. 623 00:36:36,075 --> 00:36:38,155 Vampire mates don't eat human mates. 624 00:36:38,325 --> 00:36:40,265 And no matter how much I want to eat him... 625 00:36:40,325 --> 00:36:42,154 ... I will never eat him cause he's my mate. 626 00:36:42,394 --> 00:36:44,174 - Right, Stu? - Yah. 627 00:36:44,834 --> 00:36:45,544 Yeah. 628 00:36:47,693 --> 00:36:50,313 Stu is great. 629 00:36:51,423 --> 00:36:52,863 We really like him. 630 00:36:52,873 --> 00:36:55,492 At first I wanted to kill him. 631 00:36:55,572 --> 00:36:59,012 But now I'm glad I've spent the time to get to know him. 632 00:36:59,112 --> 00:37:03,051 Yeah, of course he looks delicious with his big red cheeks. 633 00:37:03,051 --> 00:37:07,211 But we've all got an agreement that we're not going to eat Stu. 634 00:37:07,291 --> 00:37:08,770 - Right? - Right. 635 00:37:08,830 --> 00:37:11,490 The guys upstairs, they... They're loving him. 636 00:37:11,670 --> 00:37:15,189 That's ... it started off with, 'Who's this human you're bringing into the house?' 637 00:37:15,419 --> 00:37:17,209 But it took them literally 2 minutes and 638 00:37:17,209 --> 00:37:19,209 they like him more than they like me, I reckon. 639 00:37:19,739 --> 00:37:22,098 I'm knitting a scarf for Stu. 640 00:37:22,668 --> 00:37:24,888 Try it again. Use your legs. 641 00:37:26,318 --> 00:37:27,577 Wow. 642 00:37:27,577 --> 00:37:31,067 - Step back... - Punching high. 643 00:37:31,467 --> 00:37:32,847 - Yep. - Hi. 644 00:37:32,847 --> 00:37:33,507 Yep. 645 00:37:33,507 --> 00:37:34,986 I'm just, what I'm trying to say is... 646 00:37:35,516 --> 00:37:36,936 ... cause I know that you... 647 00:37:37,166 --> 00:37:38,436 ... you turned me into a vampire. 648 00:37:38,816 --> 00:37:40,695 Maybe don't do that to him. 649 00:37:40,725 --> 00:37:42,655 He's a... vegetarian. 650 00:37:42,705 --> 00:37:44,705 Last thing he'd want to is eat... 651 00:37:44,705 --> 00:37:47,464 ... a life-being or eat blood or eat meat... 652 00:37:48,054 --> 00:37:50,204 - I am controlling this. - Get it, get it! 653 00:37:50,274 --> 00:37:54,513 Quite amazing to see how far technology can go forward 654 00:37:54,623 --> 00:37:56,563 if you're not paying attention. 655 00:37:58,323 --> 00:37:59,982 One message received. 656 00:38:04,232 --> 00:38:06,981 There is a crucifix behind you. 657 00:38:07,041 --> 00:38:09,711 So, done on it, or like, half way down and focus it. 658 00:38:09,711 --> 00:38:10,671 Maybe smile. 659 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,200 - Anything you want to find, you... - Yeah. 660 00:38:18,290 --> 00:38:20,599 - You can type your name here. - I've lost... 661 00:38:20,619 --> 00:38:25,069 ... a really nice silk scarf in about 1912. 662 00:38:25,069 --> 00:38:26,198 Yes, now Google it. 663 00:38:26,238 --> 00:38:30,828 Stu is the first human friend that I've had for long time. 664 00:38:30,858 --> 00:38:33,897 With humans there's a tendency to die. 665 00:38:35,337 --> 00:38:36,217 Yeah. 666 00:38:36,417 --> 00:38:37,917 We can look at her photos. 667 00:38:37,917 --> 00:38:40,076 - Ah, oh yes. - Or you can poke her. 668 00:38:42,756 --> 00:38:43,646 Yes. 669 00:38:44,046 --> 00:38:46,475 Can we see a movie with sunrise? 670 00:38:48,015 --> 00:38:49,745 - What? Shit! - Whoo... 671 00:38:49,835 --> 00:38:51,305 Nice... 672 00:38:51,465 --> 00:38:54,734 If you push images, than we can see pictures of virgins. 673 00:38:54,734 --> 00:38:56,734 - Ah, yes. Yes. - Yah, yah... 674 00:38:59,493 --> 00:39:03,093 I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that. 675 00:39:16,531 --> 00:39:17,811 There he is, yeah. 676 00:39:17,991 --> 00:39:20,240 This is my old servant, Phillip. 677 00:39:20,350 --> 00:39:22,590 - So, we're gonna call him. - Yeah. 678 00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:24,010 And... 679 00:39:24,100 --> 00:39:25,879 ...screen... 680 00:39:30,039 --> 00:39:32,898 My God, that's him, that's him, that's him, that's Phillip, that's Phillip. 681 00:39:32,898 --> 00:39:34,898 - He looks old. 682 00:41:09,674 --> 00:41:13,393 Yeah, kind of like youth romance, but like more, more layers. 683 00:41:13,413 --> 00:41:15,753 Maybe Twilight, have you seen it? 684 00:41:16,203 --> 00:41:19,432 Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight. You now the main guy? 685 00:41:19,532 --> 00:41:20,512 Twilight? 686 00:41:20,832 --> 00:41:21,772 That's me. 687 00:41:21,792 --> 00:41:23,142 Cameras following me around. 688 00:41:23,172 --> 00:41:24,341 They could have chosen anyone. 689 00:41:24,341 --> 00:41:26,601 How many people have you told you are a vampire? 690 00:41:26,731 --> 00:41:28,791 - Not many. - I heard that girl... 691 00:41:28,811 --> 00:41:31,740 ... talking about that you said you were a vampire. 692 00:41:31,740 --> 00:41:32,750 Yeah, I told her. 693 00:41:32,820 --> 00:41:34,270 - Who else? - Who did you tell? 694 00:41:34,270 --> 00:41:35,850 Uh, I told her hot friend. 695 00:41:35,890 --> 00:41:38,869 You can't tell everyone that you're a vampire. 696 00:41:38,869 --> 00:41:39,749 Who's that guy? 697 00:41:39,749 --> 00:41:41,749 I don't know but I told him. 698 00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:44,238 You can't tell everyone. 699 00:41:49,178 --> 00:41:51,197 Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition. 700 00:41:51,537 --> 00:41:52,587 What's wrong with him? 701 00:41:52,587 --> 00:41:54,907 Um, vampire eyes. Can't go into the sun. 702 00:41:55,607 --> 00:41:57,626 Oh, my God, is that your fangs? 703 00:41:57,876 --> 00:41:59,006 For real? 704 00:41:59,006 --> 00:42:00,256 For real, real. 705 00:42:00,466 --> 00:42:01,786 For real, real. 706 00:42:02,036 --> 00:42:03,235 I'm a vampire. 707 00:42:03,325 --> 00:42:04,465 - What? - Yeah. 708 00:42:04,715 --> 00:42:07,575 - I'm a vampire hunter. - No, you're not. 709 00:42:07,645 --> 00:42:09,454 - No? - You fucking piece of shit. 710 00:42:09,614 --> 00:42:10,924 I'll Skype you! 711 00:42:11,004 --> 00:42:11,884 I float. 712 00:42:11,884 --> 00:42:13,424 - I transform into stuff. - Same. 713 00:42:14,224 --> 00:42:15,873 - No you can't. - Yeah. 714 00:42:15,873 --> 00:42:17,573 I'll show you. 715 00:42:17,823 --> 00:42:20,093 Show me. Show me some of your vampire stuff. 716 00:42:20,093 --> 00:42:21,213 What have I got? Um... 717 00:42:26,742 --> 00:42:29,041 Don't lie about transforming into shit. 718 00:42:35,750 --> 00:42:38,220 - Twilight! - Shut up, Nick! 719 00:42:38,970 --> 00:42:40,390 You're not Twilight. 720 00:42:40,390 --> 00:42:42,509 - What's your problem? - You are my problem. 721 00:42:42,689 --> 00:42:44,719 Telling the world that we are vampires. 722 00:42:44,779 --> 00:42:46,479 And I'll tell the whole world that you're an asshole now. 723 00:42:46,479 --> 00:42:47,579 Shut up! 724 00:42:48,708 --> 00:42:49,538 - Shut up! - Guys? 725 00:42:49,538 --> 00:42:50,648 - You shut up! - No, you shut up! 726 00:42:50,648 --> 00:42:52,128 - No, you shut up. - You shut up. 727 00:42:52,258 --> 00:42:53,338 I'm Dracula, man! 728 00:42:53,338 --> 00:42:54,658 You're not Dracula! - I'm Dracula! 729 00:42:54,658 --> 00:42:56,197 You don't even know who Dracula is! 730 00:42:56,197 --> 00:42:57,137 You idiot! 731 00:43:00,697 --> 00:43:03,786 - Oh, bat fight! - Bat fight! Oh, yah, yah, yah! 732 00:43:11,275 --> 00:43:12,845 Ah, Deacon! 733 00:43:14,135 --> 00:43:16,234 That wasn't fair, man! 734 00:43:16,414 --> 00:43:17,694 My fucking jacket, man! 735 00:43:17,694 --> 00:43:19,694 I don't care about your stupid jacket. 736 00:43:21,314 --> 00:43:23,563 - Deacon! - You okay, man? 737 00:43:40,081 --> 00:43:42,100 - Hey, Stu? - Mm-hm? 738 00:43:42,190 --> 00:43:45,050 How's your worms? 739 00:43:45,490 --> 00:43:46,560 Alright. 740 00:43:46,690 --> 00:43:48,519 You're eating worms. 741 00:43:52,909 --> 00:43:56,048 Can you do that shit when you turn them into worms? 742 00:43:56,088 --> 00:43:57,038 No. 743 00:43:57,108 --> 00:43:58,278 Doesn't work on chips. 744 00:43:58,278 --> 00:44:01,137 Only works on things that already look like worms. 745 00:44:01,317 --> 00:44:04,727 - Maybe noodles. Do you want some noodles? - He knows now. 746 00:44:06,217 --> 00:44:08,146 Oh no. I wouldn't eat that. 747 00:44:11,206 --> 00:44:11,976 Why? 748 00:44:22,484 --> 00:44:24,074 Are you okay Nick? 749 00:44:25,244 --> 00:44:26,924 Alright? 750 00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:34,492 He ate fried chip. 751 00:44:34,702 --> 00:44:36,582 I can't eat salads now, great. 752 00:44:36,772 --> 00:44:38,082 I can't sunbath. 753 00:44:38,112 --> 00:44:39,702 I can't watch daytime TV. 754 00:44:39,852 --> 00:44:41,771 I can if I could, or I guess I could. 755 00:44:42,191 --> 00:44:43,941 More, more then ever just the chips. 756 00:44:44,161 --> 00:44:45,861 My favorite food. I can't eat chips. 757 00:44:47,090 --> 00:44:48,620 I don't... it's just... 758 00:44:48,620 --> 00:44:49,580 I hate... 759 00:44:49,740 --> 00:44:51,750 I said it. I'm over being a vampire. It's shit. 760 00:44:52,380 --> 00:44:54,039 So, don't, don't believe the hype. 761 00:45:11,277 --> 00:45:12,077 Jackie?! 762 00:45:14,996 --> 00:45:16,316 Jackie, can I come in please? 763 00:45:16,376 --> 00:45:18,516 - Okay, off to bed, guys! - Hello, children! 764 00:45:18,606 --> 00:45:21,195 - Don't look at the men. - You want me to kill this? 765 00:45:21,195 --> 00:45:23,195 Don't look at the men! 766 00:45:23,915 --> 00:45:25,665 I was going to bite you tonight. 767 00:45:26,015 --> 00:45:26,554 Really? 768 00:45:26,594 --> 00:45:29,754 But now I can't because there's this Nick being a vampire. 769 00:45:29,954 --> 00:45:31,944 Sorry, sorry, I thought you killed him 2 months ago. 770 00:45:31,944 --> 00:45:33,943 No, I didn't...no... he's a vampire. 771 00:45:33,963 --> 00:45:34,853 What do you mean? 772 00:45:34,953 --> 00:45:36,773 He jumped in front of your place. 773 00:45:38,153 --> 00:45:40,282 All I'm saying is that, um... 774 00:45:41,022 --> 00:45:42,712 You know if I had a penis, I would have been... 775 00:45:42,712 --> 00:45:44,412 I would have been bitten years ago. 776 00:45:44,632 --> 00:45:46,261 I might have to penalize you. 777 00:45:47,831 --> 00:45:50,491 Perhaps another couple of years. Maybe 10 years. 778 00:45:50,571 --> 00:45:51,191 Hm? 779 00:45:51,411 --> 00:45:53,900 Like one big circle, just biting each others dicks. 780 00:45:54,050 --> 00:45:56,570 You know, they don't even wear shirts, they wear blouses. It's, it's just... 781 00:45:56,570 --> 00:45:59,289 ... a big homo-erotic dick biting club. 782 00:45:59,289 --> 00:46:02,629 And I'm stuck here, ironing their fucking frills. 783 00:46:02,809 --> 00:46:04,389 Also clean the bathroom, please. 784 00:46:04,489 --> 00:46:06,748 It's blood everywhere. It is gruesome. 785 00:46:07,448 --> 00:46:09,528 Okay, see you tomorrow. 786 00:46:14,287 --> 00:46:15,587 Off to bed, please. 787 00:46:28,565 --> 00:46:30,365 Katherine. 788 00:46:30,945 --> 00:46:33,304 She was so charming and nice. 789 00:46:33,304 --> 00:46:35,304 She was everything I wanted. 790 00:46:35,434 --> 00:46:37,224 Unfortunately... 791 00:46:37,224 --> 00:46:39,223 ... yeah, she was married. 792 00:46:39,423 --> 00:46:41,743 Sure, I wanted to kill the guy. 793 00:46:41,743 --> 00:46:44,063 I thought about, chopping his head off. 794 00:46:44,213 --> 00:46:47,642 Draining him of every drop of blood that he had. 795 00:46:47,732 --> 00:46:49,002 Who wouldn't? 796 00:46:50,122 --> 00:46:53,571 But then, I also saw how happy she was. 797 00:46:54,661 --> 00:46:57,141 And that made me kind of happy. 798 00:46:57,921 --> 00:47:00,690 And I didn't want to ruin it for her, so... 799 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,890 I did the honorable thing and I just... 800 00:47:04,050 --> 00:47:05,469 ... stepped back. 801 00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:07,739 And let her live her life. 802 00:47:33,165 --> 00:47:34,325 Petyr! 803 00:47:35,065 --> 00:47:35,935 Petyr! 804 00:47:35,935 --> 00:47:36,895 Where is it? 805 00:47:37,275 --> 00:47:38,014 Petyr! 806 00:47:38,134 --> 00:47:39,094 Petyr! 807 00:47:39,294 --> 00:47:40,114 Petyr! 808 00:47:42,444 --> 00:47:43,684 Get water! 809 00:47:44,443 --> 00:47:46,893 - Get out of the sunlight! - Get water! Get water! 810 00:47:46,893 --> 00:47:49,223 Get water! Petyr, get away from the sunlight! 811 00:47:49,223 --> 00:47:51,222 Get in the shadows, Petyr! 812 00:47:51,232 --> 00:47:52,762 Get out of the sunlight! 813 00:47:53,862 --> 00:47:55,612 Get out of my way! 814 00:47:56,412 --> 00:47:57,731 I'm going in! 815 00:47:57,731 --> 00:47:58,801 I'm coming Petyr! 816 00:47:58,801 --> 00:48:00,841 - Deacon, no, it's sunlight! - I'm coming for you! 817 00:48:00,841 --> 00:48:02,951 It's sunlight out there! 818 00:48:02,971 --> 00:48:06,200 It's sunlight! 819 00:48:11,649 --> 00:48:13,359 I was too late. 820 00:48:22,198 --> 00:48:23,997 Turn that thing off. 821 00:48:24,927 --> 00:48:28,027 Our friend had just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident. 822 00:48:43,085 --> 00:48:44,994 So this is what I think happened. 823 00:48:45,444 --> 00:48:47,254 The vampire hunter... 824 00:48:47,434 --> 00:48:49,344 ... broke into the window here. 825 00:48:50,343 --> 00:48:53,813 Has impacted the table. Breaking the table leg. 826 00:48:54,393 --> 00:48:56,123 Then he has come this way. 827 00:48:56,752 --> 00:48:58,692 Towards the tomb. 828 00:48:59,902 --> 00:49:00,692 Crucifix! 829 00:49:00,882 --> 00:49:02,532 Cover the crucifix! 830 00:49:05,441 --> 00:49:06,471 And then... 831 00:49:06,901 --> 00:49:09,191 ... Petyr has burst from the tomb. 832 00:49:09,281 --> 00:49:12,360 Pushed the tomb lid on to the vampire hunter. 833 00:49:12,650 --> 00:49:15,410 And then the sunlight has come through here. 834 00:49:15,490 --> 00:49:17,219 And burned Petyr alive. 835 00:49:18,019 --> 00:49:20,179 Think this is just a table leg, which is... 836 00:49:20,539 --> 00:49:21,399 ... sanded down. 837 00:49:21,399 --> 00:49:23,398 - Do you think he hand sanded that, or? - Yes. 838 00:49:23,518 --> 00:49:24,928 Image that, stuck in your... 839 00:49:26,098 --> 00:49:28,538 It's quite shocking down here, Nick. 840 00:49:28,588 --> 00:49:31,617 Look, here's our sweet Petyr. 841 00:49:31,617 --> 00:49:33,617 - Fucking hell. - Burnt to a sizzle. 842 00:49:33,877 --> 00:49:36,636 - I can't figure out this. - This is the vampire hunter. 843 00:49:36,636 --> 00:49:37,166 Is this Franco? 844 00:49:37,166 --> 00:49:38,706 - Uh, who's this guy? - Look at this... 845 00:49:38,706 --> 00:49:40,846 ... bloody head, back to front. 846 00:49:40,846 --> 00:49:42,845 Twist it the other way, the other way! 847 00:49:43,015 --> 00:49:45,595 Let's see who this guy is. 848 00:49:46,615 --> 00:49:49,434 - Hm, typical macho type. - Yuck! 849 00:49:49,434 --> 00:49:50,374 It is. 850 00:49:50,494 --> 00:49:51,934 Oh, shit! 851 00:49:52,914 --> 00:49:53,924 I know that guy. 852 00:49:53,964 --> 00:49:55,853 - Actually. - You know him? 853 00:49:55,853 --> 00:49:57,333 - Yeah. - What? 854 00:49:57,393 --> 00:49:59,073 I saw him the other night in town. 855 00:49:59,773 --> 00:50:01,043 Told him I was a vampire. 856 00:50:01,043 --> 00:50:01,523 What?! 857 00:50:01,523 --> 00:50:03,762 I thought he was joking. He said he was a vampire hunter. 858 00:50:03,812 --> 00:50:06,092 You let a vampire hunter into our house? 859 00:50:06,092 --> 00:50:08,092 - I just gave him my e-mail. - Nick! 860 00:50:09,511 --> 00:50:10,901 Take out your tongue. 861 00:50:10,921 --> 00:50:12,471 And shove it down your ass. 862 00:50:14,861 --> 00:50:16,200 Fucking hell! 863 00:50:30,468 --> 00:50:32,698 You and your big mouth! 864 00:50:32,908 --> 00:50:34,308 It was a mistake! 865 00:50:35,907 --> 00:50:37,887 Get up and stand on this ceiling like a man. 866 00:50:44,846 --> 00:50:46,176 We can talk it out, yeah, man? 867 00:50:46,266 --> 00:50:47,056 We can talk it out, mate! 868 00:50:47,056 --> 00:50:49,345 - I'll kill you! - I'm already dead! 869 00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:51,475 Stu, stay back! 870 00:50:55,114 --> 00:50:56,844 Someone's at the door. 871 00:50:57,274 --> 00:51:00,154 Go, go. 872 00:51:06,423 --> 00:51:07,702 Oh, shit. 873 00:51:09,642 --> 00:51:11,702 - Good evening, sir. - Hello, police. 874 00:51:11,702 --> 00:51:14,221 Hi, I'm constable O'Leary. This is constable Minogue. 875 00:51:14,261 --> 00:51:17,841 We're just responding to a report of a possible forced entry and also... 876 00:51:17,991 --> 00:51:19,761 ... a rather large amount of shrieking. 877 00:51:19,761 --> 00:51:22,260 Just, um, wondering maybe we could come in and just have a wee look around? 878 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,760 Okay. 879 00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,260 What's with the fellow? What's with the camera? 880 00:51:26,470 --> 00:51:28,689 Yeah, we're obviously just here cause there was a phone call 881 00:51:28,689 --> 00:51:31,119 from the, a member of the public, um, about a bit of disturbance. 882 00:51:31,319 --> 00:51:33,319 Um, some loud noises. 883 00:51:33,449 --> 00:51:35,168 - Possibly a forced entry, wasn't there? - Um... 884 00:51:35,478 --> 00:51:37,418 And, also, maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so... 885 00:51:37,518 --> 00:51:39,958 We're just checking over the scene. Making sure every thing's uh... 886 00:51:40,018 --> 00:51:42,037 You know, above board sort of speaking, uh... 887 00:51:42,097 --> 00:51:43,907 Making sure no ones in danger, that kind of thing. 888 00:51:43,977 --> 00:51:46,757 We might go up and have a wee look up there, if that's alright with you? 889 00:51:47,276 --> 00:51:49,416 - Come on mate, you lead the way. - Just a little tour. Yeah. 890 00:51:50,796 --> 00:51:51,816 Okay. 891 00:51:51,956 --> 00:51:53,875 - Smells a bit weird here too, mate. - Yeah. 892 00:51:53,915 --> 00:51:55,445 What do you call that? 893 00:51:57,185 --> 00:51:58,695 Barbecue. 894 00:52:01,664 --> 00:52:05,244 You will not notice anything out of the ordinary. 895 00:52:05,714 --> 00:52:07,593 No, we certainly hope not. Let's just... 896 00:52:07,633 --> 00:52:09,073 Lets just keep going. 897 00:52:09,093 --> 00:52:11,523 - Hi there guys. How are yah? - Hello. 898 00:52:11,543 --> 00:52:12,543 Hi fellas. 899 00:52:12,613 --> 00:52:15,332 We've just wondering where all the shouting was coming from? 900 00:52:15,332 --> 00:52:16,542 That was me. 901 00:52:16,662 --> 00:52:18,902 Yeah, okay, we've had a couple reports, okay? 902 00:52:18,902 --> 00:52:20,881 A couple of people not happy with the level of noise here. 903 00:52:20,881 --> 00:52:21,321 Okay. 904 00:52:21,351 --> 00:52:23,011 The neighbors? 905 00:52:23,701 --> 00:52:25,171 You got neighbors on either side. 906 00:52:25,271 --> 00:52:26,330 Feeling nervous. 907 00:52:26,330 --> 00:52:28,330 I've hypnotized those cops. 908 00:52:28,390 --> 00:52:31,760 I'm not a great hypothesizer so it could wear off any second. 909 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,409 I really hope that those guys don't kill those police 910 00:52:34,469 --> 00:52:36,389 because then this means more police will come. 911 00:52:36,389 --> 00:52:40,808 Possibly even Christians which is totally the last things we need in this house. 912 00:52:40,808 --> 00:52:43,278 I can see you're having a good time. End of the day... 913 00:52:43,458 --> 00:52:45,018 ... we got to keep the, uh, the peace, okay? 914 00:52:45,018 --> 00:52:46,387 Whoa, whoa, whoa... 915 00:52:47,317 --> 00:52:48,567 See what I'm seeing? 916 00:52:48,707 --> 00:52:49,857 Is that even ok? 917 00:52:51,027 --> 00:52:52,337 You're joking? 918 00:52:53,566 --> 00:52:55,016 Not a smoke alarm in sight. 919 00:52:55,126 --> 00:52:56,426 No smoke detectors, mate? 920 00:52:56,846 --> 00:52:58,146 Rule number 1: 921 00:52:58,376 --> 00:52:59,745 Smoke detectors. 922 00:53:00,015 --> 00:53:00,605 Okay. 923 00:53:00,605 --> 00:53:03,045 Rule number 2: maybe not so many barbeque's inside. 924 00:53:03,425 --> 00:53:04,625 - Sorry fellas. - Okay. 925 00:53:05,145 --> 00:53:07,504 - Barbeque's? - That was really strong there, ain't it? 926 00:53:07,504 --> 00:53:08,514 What kind of marinade? 927 00:53:08,514 --> 00:53:09,934 Who's this guy? 928 00:53:10,724 --> 00:53:11,704 Um... 929 00:53:11,704 --> 00:53:14,623 It's a friend who came to our party. 930 00:53:14,623 --> 00:53:15,963 Mate, you're alright? 931 00:53:15,963 --> 00:53:17,463 - He's drunk. - That's what I thought. 932 00:53:17,463 --> 00:53:18,822 Drunk guy. 933 00:53:18,822 --> 00:53:21,072 You can't just leave him down here like that, okay? 934 00:53:21,212 --> 00:53:22,742 This guy's not having a good time. 935 00:53:22,742 --> 00:53:24,402 He's gonna feel terrible tomorrow morning. 936 00:53:24,402 --> 00:53:26,401 Well, he's soul is in hell, so... 937 00:53:26,541 --> 00:53:29,461 Well, I don't know where's his soul's at, but all I am saying, where is his blanket? 938 00:53:29,641 --> 00:53:31,401 Who left the concrete on? 939 00:53:31,581 --> 00:53:33,990 - Yeah, you can move him there? - It's definitely not going to be comfortable. 940 00:53:33,990 --> 00:53:35,990 - Seen anything else in there? - No, I think I've seen enough. 941 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:37,610 - Okay. - Hang on a minute. 942 00:53:38,310 --> 00:53:39,649 What have we got here? 943 00:53:41,479 --> 00:53:42,749 - What is that? - This? 944 00:53:43,059 --> 00:53:44,939 - Oh, this? - Are you seeing this clearly as I can? 945 00:53:45,208 --> 00:53:46,338 Adhesive, mate. 946 00:53:46,448 --> 00:53:47,878 That's a flammable. 947 00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,668 And then you got a lamp on top of that. 948 00:53:49,798 --> 00:53:51,597 Directly underneath the power source. 949 00:53:51,687 --> 00:53:53,877 - That is quite bad. - It's very bad. 950 00:53:53,877 --> 00:53:55,617 And no smoke detectors again are there? 951 00:53:55,667 --> 00:53:57,687 - No. - Yes, there are. 952 00:53:57,727 --> 00:53:59,826 - Yes, there are. - Okay, that's good. 953 00:53:59,876 --> 00:54:01,196 Lots to think about guys. 954 00:54:01,196 --> 00:54:03,526 - Yeah, lots to think about there guys. - Next flat-meeting, yeah. 955 00:54:03,616 --> 00:54:05,495 Yeah, good thinking, that's the thing, just... 956 00:54:05,515 --> 00:54:07,685 - ... have a bit of dialogue about it. - Okay. 957 00:54:07,905 --> 00:54:10,025 - They've got a really good point. - Wait! 958 00:54:10,025 --> 00:54:11,225 Let's kill them. 959 00:54:11,524 --> 00:54:13,594 Well, let's just see what other safety... 960 00:54:13,594 --> 00:54:15,864 - Stay here and then maybe we'll... - Yeah. 961 00:54:24,912 --> 00:54:26,812 I call into session, 962 00:54:26,932 --> 00:54:28,392 this trial of Nick, 963 00:54:28,532 --> 00:54:29,812 of Wellington. 964 00:54:34,921 --> 00:54:36,641 Read the charges. 965 00:54:37,101 --> 00:54:38,960 Problems we have with Nick. 966 00:54:39,990 --> 00:54:41,230 Number 1: 967 00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:43,420 You brought a human into our house. 968 00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:46,649 - Which is a big no-no in the vampire world. - Stu is, Stu is okay though? 969 00:54:46,659 --> 00:54:48,909 Yeah, Stu is fine, so I guess we'll just... 970 00:54:48,909 --> 00:54:50,409 ... cross that one out. 971 00:54:50,818 --> 00:54:51,708 Uh... 972 00:54:55,388 --> 00:54:57,078 - Thank you Stu. - Thank you Stu. 973 00:54:57,098 --> 00:54:57,877 So... 974 00:54:58,067 --> 00:54:59,407 The new number 1: 975 00:54:59,507 --> 00:55:02,387 Nick's been telling people he's a vampire. 976 00:55:02,537 --> 00:55:05,336 That in turn resulted in... 977 00:55:05,586 --> 00:55:08,846 ... an unwanted visit from a vampire hunter. 978 00:55:08,876 --> 00:55:10,425 Crime number 2: 979 00:55:10,425 --> 00:55:12,425 This is quite a bigy, Nick. 980 00:55:12,715 --> 00:55:15,325 The vampire hunter who killed Petyr. 981 00:55:16,355 --> 00:55:19,604 That's... I actually should've... that should have been crime number one 982 00:55:19,604 --> 00:55:21,604 but we wanted to build up to that. 983 00:55:21,624 --> 00:55:22,884 Number 3: 984 00:55:22,944 --> 00:55:26,533 Deacon doesn't like that your wear the same jacket as him. 985 00:55:26,693 --> 00:55:29,883 And he would like you to find your own original style. 986 00:55:30,672 --> 00:55:32,692 For these crimes of which 987 00:55:32,692 --> 00:55:36,092 we the vampire council find you guilty... 988 00:55:36,242 --> 00:55:38,421 ... you should be banished from our flat. 989 00:55:38,611 --> 00:55:39,981 Indefinitely. 990 00:55:40,231 --> 00:55:42,071 - Indefinitely? - Indefinitely. 991 00:55:42,071 --> 00:55:43,021 So I can come back? 992 00:55:43,141 --> 00:55:46,540 No, no, indefinitely means that there is no end. 993 00:55:46,690 --> 00:55:47,800 I thought that there was no... 994 00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:50,629 No, indefinite means that it's not a definite thing. 995 00:55:50,629 --> 00:55:52,189 Yeah, but it's long. 996 00:55:52,219 --> 00:55:53,699 Could be tomorrow, it could be 6 months. 997 00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:55,469 NO! No, it is not tomorrow! 998 00:55:55,469 --> 00:55:57,078 - You get about at least 6 moths. - Banished! 999 00:55:57,108 --> 00:55:57,998 You are banished. 1000 00:55:57,998 --> 00:56:00,238 But Stu, you can visit if you like. 1001 00:56:00,238 --> 00:56:01,338 Thank you. 1002 00:56:02,018 --> 00:56:03,547 For your crimes... 1003 00:56:03,877 --> 00:56:05,657 ... you will be made to suffer... 1004 00:56:05,897 --> 00:56:07,167 ... the procession... 1005 00:56:07,167 --> 00:56:08,267 ... of shame. 1006 00:56:08,437 --> 00:56:11,536 I asked them Nick, I asked them not to pass that sentence. 1007 00:56:11,546 --> 00:56:13,096 We should do this immediately. 1008 00:56:13,096 --> 00:56:15,096 - In my opinion. - You didn't ask. 1009 00:56:15,356 --> 00:56:17,375 You didn't ask. You were saying yes. 1010 00:56:21,155 --> 00:56:22,854 - I did... - Well, this is what's going to happen. 1011 00:56:22,854 --> 00:56:24,854 I still think it's quite extreme. 1012 00:56:25,634 --> 00:56:28,054 Let us do the procession of shame. 1013 00:56:28,224 --> 00:56:29,044 Now. 1014 00:56:31,463 --> 00:56:32,213 - Shame. - Shame! 1015 00:56:32,213 --> 00:56:34,533 Shame. Shame. Shame! 1016 00:56:34,533 --> 00:56:35,413 Shame! 1017 00:56:35,523 --> 00:56:36,802 - Shame. - Bad vampire! 1018 00:56:36,802 --> 00:56:37,782 Shame. 1019 00:56:39,392 --> 00:56:40,612 Should we go Stu? 1020 00:56:45,951 --> 00:56:47,451 Bye Stu. 1021 00:57:03,948 --> 00:57:05,388 That was a shame. 1022 00:57:29,274 --> 00:57:32,404 So today we have an invitation. 1023 00:57:32,954 --> 00:57:35,483 To the big event of the year. 1024 00:57:35,483 --> 00:57:37,483 Breaking it open. 1025 00:57:37,903 --> 00:57:39,613 They have burned the edges. 1026 00:57:39,613 --> 00:57:42,922 - Like a treasure map or something. - It looks very authentic, doesn't it? 1027 00:57:43,542 --> 00:57:45,112 'Dearly departed...' 1028 00:57:45,462 --> 00:57:46,702 That's us. 1029 00:57:47,332 --> 00:57:50,771 'The Wellington vampire association in conjunction with the 1030 00:57:50,771 --> 00:57:52,771 lower-hat-vampire-witch club 1031 00:57:52,771 --> 00:57:55,790 and the Kurory-zombie society 1032 00:57:55,790 --> 00:58:02,509 invite you to attend The Unholy Masquerade on the night of the 6th of June... 1033 00:58:02,769 --> 00:58:05,759 ... starting at 6 PM.' 1034 00:58:06,889 --> 00:58:09,098 - 666... - Oh, yeah... 1035 00:58:09,098 --> 00:58:13,718 The Unholy Masquerade of course is great time for the undead community of Wellington. 1036 00:58:13,728 --> 00:58:19,867 There's zombies there. Vampires, banshees, all having a dance together. 1037 00:58:19,997 --> 00:58:21,586 It's all a big deal for me. 1038 00:58:22,066 --> 00:58:22,816 Love it. 1039 00:58:22,816 --> 00:58:26,376 One year I went to The Unholy Masquerade dressed as 1040 00:58:26,396 --> 00:58:29,955 Whoopi Goldberg from Sister Act... 1041 00:58:30,125 --> 00:58:33,055 ... 1 and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. 1042 00:58:33,195 --> 00:58:36,564 Didn't go down so well because she was a nun. 1043 00:58:38,034 --> 00:58:40,074 Vampires don't like nuns. 1044 00:58:40,294 --> 00:58:42,963 Of course the big deal of The Unholy Masquerade 1045 00:58:42,963 --> 00:58:45,693 is that every year they announce the guest of honor. 1046 00:58:45,693 --> 00:58:47,692 And...um... 1047 00:58:47,692 --> 00:58:50,132 I don't know if I should be saying this but... 1048 00:58:50,852 --> 00:58:52,402 I heard a little rumor 1049 00:58:52,402 --> 00:58:55,441 that the guest of honor this year... 1050 00:58:56,431 --> 00:58:58,361 ... might be me. 1051 00:58:58,791 --> 00:59:00,260 The location... 1052 00:59:00,570 --> 00:59:02,860 - Oh, yeah, where is it? - Where's the location? 1053 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:04,240 Detrol of Despair. 1054 00:59:04,270 --> 00:59:06,649 And the guest of honor will be... 1055 00:59:10,119 --> 00:59:12,069 Who is it? Show me. 1056 00:59:18,688 --> 00:59:19,528 Hm. 1057 00:59:21,007 --> 00:59:22,177 Okay. 1058 00:59:22,887 --> 00:59:23,837 Okay. 1059 00:59:24,627 --> 00:59:27,766 - Okay. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. - Okay? 1060 00:59:34,205 --> 00:59:35,235 Vladislav... 1061 00:59:35,545 --> 00:59:37,285 ... has... 1062 00:59:37,285 --> 00:59:42,424 ... just had a reaction to the information that the guest of honor will be... 1063 00:59:42,424 --> 00:59:44,664 ... um... The Beast. 1064 00:59:47,823 --> 00:59:50,263 The darkest part of my mind 1065 00:59:50,263 --> 00:59:52,263 is reserved to The Beast. 1066 00:59:52,263 --> 00:59:54,262 We can tell you a thing or two about The Beast. 1067 00:59:54,262 --> 00:59:57,172 You should pray that you never have to see The Beast. 1068 00:59:57,172 --> 00:59:58,972 This one is called The Beast. 1069 00:59:58,972 --> 01:00:02,061 And I said, 'Get you hands off my balls, Beast!' 1070 01:00:02,061 --> 01:00:04,541 He may have told you some stories about his 1071 01:00:04,541 --> 01:00:06,470 great battle with The Beast. 1072 01:00:06,470 --> 01:00:08,660 Yeah, oh, 'I fought The Beast on a cliff.' 1073 01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:11,320 Oh... 'I fought The Beast in a swamp.' 1074 01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:15,519 'One time I fought The Beast in the toilettes of a night club.' 1075 01:00:16,079 --> 01:00:17,499 Difficult battle. 1076 01:00:17,499 --> 01:00:20,288 I hope you never see The Beast. 1077 01:00:21,328 --> 01:00:23,168 The Beast. 1078 01:00:32,156 --> 01:00:34,136 You can't go the the ball as Blade. 1079 01:00:34,186 --> 01:00:35,396 He's a vampire hunter. 1080 01:00:35,466 --> 01:00:37,916 Yeah, but vampires love Wesley Snipes. 1081 01:00:37,916 --> 01:00:39,515 It's inappropriate. 1082 01:00:39,565 --> 01:00:41,585 Okay, Vlad? The Green Jortes, 1083 01:00:41,585 --> 01:00:43,755 or the Black Leather with the Dragon Belt? 1084 01:00:43,885 --> 01:00:46,254 - We're have a mild crises here. - Doesn't matter which pants you were, just... 1085 01:00:46,254 --> 01:00:48,004 - What do you want with me? - Just look at the pants Vlad! 1086 01:00:48,004 --> 01:00:48,704 Look at the pants! 1087 01:00:48,994 --> 01:00:50,294 Enough with the pants! 1088 01:00:50,314 --> 01:00:52,103 - Shit, man! - Holy shit! 1089 01:00:52,543 --> 01:00:53,853 Oh, you look terrible. 1090 01:00:53,993 --> 01:00:55,383 The black pants. 1091 01:00:55,463 --> 01:00:56,913 Thank you. Get dressed! 1092 01:00:56,913 --> 01:00:59,192 I don't know if I feel up to it, really. 1093 01:00:59,212 --> 01:01:02,382 You don't look that great but if you eat someone on the way... 1094 01:01:02,382 --> 01:01:05,171 If you ate a little bit? - You could probably wear a mask or something. 1095 01:01:05,171 --> 01:01:08,591 Just leave me to do my dark biding on the Internet! 1096 01:01:08,661 --> 01:01:09,811 What are you biding on? 1097 01:01:10,201 --> 01:01:12,080 I'm biding on a table. 1098 01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,080 - Are you coming or not? - Not. 1099 01:01:14,210 --> 01:01:16,460 I'm gonna go change. We're leaving in 10 minutes. 1100 01:01:16,630 --> 01:01:18,569 Have a good time! 1101 01:01:35,147 --> 01:01:39,236 We waited often, without giving into that kind of... 1102 01:01:39,376 --> 01:01:42,016 stuff which I'm really sick of that but you know... 1103 01:01:42,016 --> 01:01:44,455 It just that, it's a hard frustration... 1104 01:01:44,525 --> 01:01:45,955 takes people down. 1105 01:01:45,955 --> 01:01:48,455 Come on. Can I introduce, um... 1106 01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:51,434 - Aaron and Alisha. - Hi, how are you? 1107 01:01:51,434 --> 01:01:52,404 Hi. 1108 01:01:52,564 --> 01:01:56,294 - Hi. - Less moaning guys. 1109 01:01:57,683 --> 01:02:00,003 So we are at The Unholy Masquerade. 1110 01:02:00,263 --> 01:02:01,413 It's great. 1111 01:02:01,713 --> 01:02:03,123 This is my mask. 1112 01:02:03,842 --> 01:02:05,792 Which I made for the occasion. 1113 01:02:06,542 --> 01:02:07,852 Hey! 1114 01:02:08,152 --> 01:02:10,401 - Jackie. -Yeah! 1115 01:02:10,401 --> 01:02:12,621 - This is undead party. - Yeah, I'm a vampire. 1116 01:02:12,621 --> 01:02:13,171 You...? 1117 01:02:13,171 --> 01:02:14,881 I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire! 1118 01:02:16,261 --> 01:02:17,280 - Great. - Yeah, yeah. 1119 01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:19,670 - So, um, who bit you? - Oh, Nick. 1120 01:02:20,260 --> 01:02:21,820 - Oh great. - Yeah. 1121 01:02:21,820 --> 01:02:22,780 Okay. 1122 01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:23,979 Deacon! 1123 01:02:26,499 --> 01:02:28,959 Pretty rude, because she was my... 1124 01:02:29,259 --> 01:02:29,949 ... servant. 1125 01:02:29,949 --> 01:02:31,918 She was a pretty useless servant. 1126 01:02:31,918 --> 01:02:34,488 - I wouldn't... - Yeah, yeah, but still, it would have been... 1127 01:02:34,488 --> 01:02:36,238 ... appreciated if you'd asked... 1128 01:02:36,238 --> 01:02:37,527 How's Stu? 1129 01:02:37,597 --> 01:02:38,997 - He's good. He's here. 1130 01:02:38,997 --> 01:02:40,997 - Oh, his here? - Stu! STU! 1131 01:02:42,147 --> 01:02:43,077 Hey, hey! 1132 01:02:43,346 --> 01:02:44,586 Hey! 1133 01:02:46,056 --> 01:02:49,126 Has anyone looked at you like they want to eat you, at all? 1134 01:02:49,336 --> 01:02:50,945 Ah, no... 1135 01:02:50,945 --> 01:02:52,945 Can you hear me at the back? 1136 01:02:52,985 --> 01:02:56,005 On behalf of the Wellington vampire society... 1137 01:02:56,325 --> 01:03:00,274 ... uh, with lower-hat vampire and witch club. 1138 01:03:00,274 --> 01:03:05,003 And the Kurory Zombie society, we welcome you here tonight. 1139 01:03:05,173 --> 01:03:08,813 We're raffling a live big pet this year, you could see 1140 01:03:08,833 --> 01:03:11,112 the prize over here on my left. 1141 01:03:11,232 --> 01:03:12,572 It's a wonderful prize. 1142 01:03:12,572 --> 01:03:17,141 I thinks it's a 10 dollars each or 45 dollars for a book of five. 1143 01:03:17,481 --> 01:03:21,051 Now without further adieu, it's my very great pleasure 1144 01:03:21,141 --> 01:03:24,540 to introduce to you this years guest of honor. 1145 01:03:24,660 --> 01:03:27,050 Pauline Ivanovich! 1146 01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:29,839 Thank you. 1147 01:03:32,989 --> 01:03:34,449 That's The Beast. 1148 01:03:34,449 --> 01:03:35,289 Thank you. 1149 01:03:35,319 --> 01:03:39,678 The Beast is, uh, the name I gave to my ex-girlfriend Pauline. 1150 01:03:39,828 --> 01:03:41,718 She prefers Pauline. 1151 01:03:41,828 --> 01:03:44,727 We had a very intense relationship. 1152 01:03:44,727 --> 01:03:45,787 We were very... 1153 01:03:46,107 --> 01:03:48,237 ... sexually explosive. 1154 01:03:48,407 --> 01:03:53,576 Last time I saw her, she impelled me and called me an asshole. 1155 01:03:53,576 --> 01:03:54,646 She said... 1156 01:03:54,956 --> 01:03:57,585 ... all kinds of things that really hurt me. 1157 01:03:57,785 --> 01:04:01,405 And all this while I was impelled on a lamp post. 1158 01:04:01,685 --> 01:04:06,914 Well, everyone, I will be mingling around and I really hope that... 1159 01:04:07,474 --> 01:04:09,603 ... I will meet... 1160 01:04:10,063 --> 01:04:11,673 ... all of you. 1161 01:04:27,381 --> 01:04:28,380 Hello. 1162 01:04:28,380 --> 01:04:29,800 That's the new guy. 1163 01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:34,600 What, what kind of vampire... if he is a vampire. Did you see his face? 1164 01:04:36,179 --> 01:04:37,709 Oh... oh. 1165 01:04:38,639 --> 01:04:40,829 - Hello! - Hi, how are you? 1166 01:04:40,829 --> 01:04:43,088 - This is Deacon. - Hello Deacon. 1167 01:04:43,088 --> 01:04:45,088 - This is Stu. - Good day Stu. 1168 01:04:45,188 --> 01:04:46,498 - How are you my friend? - Good. 1169 01:04:46,498 --> 01:04:47,478 Hi. Stu. 1170 01:04:47,618 --> 01:04:49,787 You got really warm hands too. 1171 01:04:49,927 --> 01:04:51,617 You a demon? 1172 01:04:51,857 --> 01:04:54,856 - No, he's not a demon! - I'm a software analyst. 1173 01:04:54,856 --> 01:04:57,576 - Stu, Stu, Stu... - Am I a witch? 1174 01:04:57,576 --> 01:04:59,636 Go dance, uh, with anyone. 1175 01:04:59,636 --> 01:05:01,315 - Sure. - Okay, take your time. 1176 01:05:01,315 --> 01:05:06,135 I like Stu. He's not vampire, or a zombie... 1177 01:05:06,215 --> 01:05:07,704 - Am I a witch? - He's not... 1178 01:05:07,704 --> 01:05:11,404 He not uh... he's neither, he's uh... more of a human. 1179 01:05:13,224 --> 01:05:15,823 Excuse me, excuse me. Hi, Nick, hey. 1180 01:05:15,893 --> 01:05:17,513 Um, Nick... 1181 01:05:17,933 --> 01:05:21,092 Do you mind if Stu is killed? 1182 01:05:21,092 --> 01:05:22,902 Uh, I don't feel real good about it. 1183 01:05:22,902 --> 01:05:27,351 Can I, can I just ask you, you know, a... 1184 01:05:27,351 --> 01:05:28,851 - ... a personal question? - Sure. 1185 01:05:28,851 --> 01:05:32,141 Are you, um.... 1186 01:05:33,401 --> 01:05:36,390 ... are you, are you, are you predeceased? 1187 01:05:37,010 --> 01:05:38,710 Uh... 1188 01:05:39,620 --> 01:05:42,809 If anyone's gonna eat him is gonna be us but we're not, we're passed it. 1189 01:05:42,809 --> 01:05:44,369 They can just go fuck themselves. 1190 01:05:44,369 --> 01:05:45,909 Nick! It is your fault. 1191 01:05:45,909 --> 01:05:49,938 Okay? You brought a human into this den of vampis nest. 1192 01:05:49,938 --> 01:05:51,638 - You're not helping. - Yes, you did. 1193 01:05:51,638 --> 01:05:54,347 - Plus one. - Lovely talking to you, I've got to shout off now. 1194 01:05:54,347 --> 01:05:55,697 See you later on. 1195 01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:03,926 As soon as one vampire takes a bite, it's a frenzy! 1196 01:06:03,926 --> 01:06:05,156 - A frenzy! - Okay, we've got to get him out. 1197 01:06:05,156 --> 01:06:07,095 Okay, follow me, follow me. 1198 01:06:07,125 --> 01:06:09,765 Excuse me, sorry guys. 1199 01:06:10,025 --> 01:06:11,085 Okay, Stu. 1200 01:06:11,085 --> 01:06:13,454 Put that over your red face. 1201 01:06:13,784 --> 01:06:15,724 - Just going out for a cigarette. - Oh, hey! 1202 01:06:15,724 --> 01:06:17,724 - Okay, not that way. - This way. 1203 01:06:17,724 --> 01:06:19,724 - This way. - Is there another way? 1204 01:06:21,803 --> 01:06:24,193 - Get away from the vampires. - Guys... 1205 01:06:24,193 --> 01:06:25,423 Excuse me everyone! 1206 01:06:25,423 --> 01:06:27,702 Can I have your attention please. 1207 01:06:28,512 --> 01:06:33,441 Some of the vampires forget Unholy Masquerade rules. 1208 01:06:33,441 --> 01:06:35,441 They brought a human. 1209 01:06:35,921 --> 01:06:40,690 And they don't let us to feast on him. 1210 01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:44,030 This was a total misunderstanding. 1211 01:06:44,030 --> 01:06:47,509 There was on the invitation, and this actually pertains to you... 1212 01:06:47,509 --> 01:06:49,199 ... the invitation, it said, 1213 01:06:49,199 --> 01:06:51,559 - plus one, but it did not specify... - Okay. 1214 01:06:51,559 --> 01:06:53,338 - Wait, look... - If it could be a human or 1215 01:06:53,338 --> 01:06:54,568 if it could be werewolf or... 1216 01:06:54,568 --> 01:06:57,168 Yeah, but he could be a vampire hunter for all we know. 1217 01:06:57,168 --> 01:07:00,177 He could texting his mates, saying, 'I've got them all under one place 1218 01:07:00,177 --> 01:07:02,387 come on over. We'll have a vampire barbecue!' 1219 01:07:02,657 --> 01:07:04,317 Well, he's not, he's not doing that. 1220 01:07:04,617 --> 01:07:05,776 How do we know that? 1221 01:07:05,776 --> 01:07:07,366 He's wearing a bow-tie, look at him! 1222 01:07:07,366 --> 01:07:08,556 Stu, tell them what you do. 1223 01:07:08,556 --> 01:07:10,996 Come on Stu! Tell us what you do. Come on. 1224 01:07:10,996 --> 01:07:12,365 Tell them what you do, Stu. 1225 01:07:12,555 --> 01:07:14,625 - Hi, my name is Stu uh... - Don't fuck it up, man. 1226 01:07:14,625 --> 01:07:15,725 - I can't hear Stu. - Louder, louder! 1227 01:07:15,725 --> 01:07:18,055 Hi, my name is Stu, uh, I work in... 1228 01:07:18,055 --> 01:07:18,954 - I can't hear... - Louder. 1229 01:07:18,954 --> 01:07:20,724 Stu can't hear, they cannot hear you. 1230 01:07:20,774 --> 01:07:25,613 Hi, my name is Stu. I'm a software analyst. I work for a geographic information system company. 1231 01:07:25,653 --> 01:07:27,083 -Uh... - Sorry, what is it? 1232 01:07:27,223 --> 01:07:29,293 I work for a company that does 1233 01:07:29,293 --> 01:07:32,802 basically we take like business requirements from organizations. 1234 01:07:32,802 --> 01:07:36,812 Then we analyze those requirements and then we build software 1235 01:07:36,852 --> 01:07:38,032 to fit those requirements. 1236 01:07:38,422 --> 01:07:40,691 He is a virgin. He is a virgin! 1237 01:07:40,691 --> 01:07:43,791 - I can smell a virgin of a thousand paces. - Go on then. 1238 01:07:44,071 --> 01:07:47,090 Take your thousand paces and smell yourselves! 1239 01:07:47,130 --> 01:07:48,940 I can't wait till you moan them. 1240 01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:04,708 There should be no eating of the human. 1241 01:08:04,708 --> 01:08:06,287 Who are you all of a sudden? 1242 01:08:06,287 --> 01:08:09,227 You have forgotten your former lover. 1243 01:08:09,277 --> 01:08:10,897 So quickly. 1244 01:08:14,026 --> 01:08:15,306 Georgie? 1245 01:08:16,106 --> 01:08:17,306 No, not... 1246 01:08:17,306 --> 01:08:20,115 ... Georgie, like, 5-years Saturday. 1247 01:08:20,115 --> 01:08:21,035 No. 1248 01:08:21,335 --> 01:08:22,805 Wait a minute. 1249 01:08:22,905 --> 01:08:24,505 Just one moment. 1250 01:08:24,604 --> 01:08:25,544 No... 1251 01:08:25,934 --> 01:08:28,354 No, I've got it, it's coming, take it away... 1252 01:08:31,423 --> 01:08:32,923 Hello Beast. 1253 01:08:32,923 --> 01:08:34,243 Hello asshole. 1254 01:08:34,243 --> 01:08:37,413 - Hey, don't call me asshole! - Don't call me... 1255 01:08:37,413 --> 01:08:40,702 ... Beast. This is Vladislav. This is me ex-boyfriend. - This is absolutely the same. 1256 01:08:40,702 --> 01:08:43,952 - You know, the one who fucked the police... - Alright, that's old business, that's... 1257 01:08:43,952 --> 01:08:44,941 - ... personal business. - Yeah. 1258 01:08:44,941 --> 01:08:47,181 - Nice to meet you asshole. - This is my lover. 1259 01:08:47,181 --> 01:08:49,581 You will not feast on the blood of the human known as Stu. 1260 01:08:49,581 --> 01:08:52,120 Listen asshole, this is a human and 1261 01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:54,260 this is the rules and what is cameras doing here? 1262 01:08:54,260 --> 01:08:56,460 One, and then another one, what is this? 1263 01:08:56,460 --> 01:08:58,259 They're making a documentary on... 1264 01:08:58,259 --> 01:08:59,869 This is a private secret society mate, 1265 01:08:59,869 --> 01:09:02,119 you don't go bringing your bloody cameras into everything. 1266 01:09:02,119 --> 01:09:04,928 You will not eat Stu and you will not eat the camera guy. 1267 01:09:04,928 --> 01:09:07,828 - Maybe one camera guy... - I'm up to bloody here, with you at the moment. 1268 01:09:07,828 --> 01:09:10,308 And all your mates behind there, whoever the hell they are. 1269 01:09:10,308 --> 01:09:11,997 We're gonna eat the human being. 1270 01:09:11,997 --> 01:09:13,867 And there's nothing you can do about it, alright? 1271 01:09:13,867 --> 01:09:14,877 Now back off! 1272 01:09:14,877 --> 01:09:16,497 And let my misses get her way. 1273 01:09:16,497 --> 01:09:18,256 Oh, there's nothing I can do about it? 1274 01:09:18,256 --> 01:09:20,236 - That's right. - Well, what about this? 1275 01:09:21,386 --> 01:09:23,905 Diego, rip his head off. 1276 01:09:24,175 --> 01:09:25,475 What do you want?! 1277 01:09:25,885 --> 01:09:27,575 Vampire fight! 1278 01:09:28,305 --> 01:09:29,695 Get him Vladislav! 1279 01:09:43,133 --> 01:09:44,992 Rip his head off! 1280 01:09:44,992 --> 01:09:46,152 He's killing him! 1281 01:09:46,152 --> 01:09:48,652 It is forbidden for vampires... 1282 01:09:48,652 --> 01:09:50,231 ... to kill a vampire. 1283 01:09:52,761 --> 01:09:54,911 - What the f... - Medic! 1284 01:09:56,251 --> 01:09:57,690 What? 1285 01:09:58,460 --> 01:10:01,210 Are you okay, love? Get out! 1286 01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:03,449 We should probably go Stu. 1287 01:10:04,379 --> 01:10:06,149 It was great to see you, 1288 01:10:06,149 --> 01:10:08,149 - Pauline. - Asshole! 1289 01:10:08,159 --> 01:10:09,009 Perfect. 1290 01:10:10,408 --> 01:10:12,538 - That was very... how we both... - He's a murderer! 1291 01:10:12,538 --> 01:10:16,147 We both, together, equally destroyed that guy! 1292 01:10:16,147 --> 01:10:18,767 Yeah, but it was more Stu with the giant stick! 1293 01:10:18,767 --> 01:10:21,647 I hope this doesn't make this awkward for you and The Beast. 1294 01:10:22,097 --> 01:10:24,886 No, I think it's opened up new possibilities. 1295 01:10:24,996 --> 01:10:26,686 Oh, no. 1296 01:10:27,046 --> 01:10:29,405 Here we go again. 1297 01:10:29,405 --> 01:10:31,405 Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu! 1298 01:10:31,405 --> 01:10:33,465 Stu, Stu, STU! 1299 01:10:33,465 --> 01:10:35,745 Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu... 1300 01:10:35,745 --> 01:10:38,734 - Stuuu... Stuuu... - Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop! 1301 01:10:38,734 --> 01:10:40,034 Listen, listen! 1302 01:10:40,474 --> 01:10:41,674 You smell that? 1303 01:10:43,123 --> 01:10:44,543 This way. 1304 01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:47,273 Werewolves. 1305 01:10:47,923 --> 01:10:50,622 - Oh, no. - Look what the cat dragged in, huh? 1306 01:10:50,682 --> 01:10:53,302 - Piss off. - Keep walking. Don't hassle us tonight. 1307 01:10:53,302 --> 01:10:55,302 There has been no hassle here. 1308 01:10:55,392 --> 01:10:56,971 Well, let it stay that way. 1309 01:10:56,971 --> 01:10:58,571 Keep chaining yourselves up! 1310 01:10:58,821 --> 01:11:00,571 Guys, where's your track suite pants? 1311 01:11:00,571 --> 01:11:02,160 It was washing night. 1312 01:11:02,160 --> 01:11:04,480 My misses couldn't wash them cause there was too much blood on them. 1313 01:11:04,480 --> 01:11:06,880 When your legs expand they go into the track suit. 1314 01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:09,289 - Oh! - Those jeans are gonna rip completely! 1315 01:11:09,289 --> 01:11:11,009 You've lost all those trousers, guys? 1316 01:11:11,149 --> 01:11:13,229 Declan, that tree's far too thin! 1317 01:11:13,229 --> 01:11:14,569 Look at it! It's like a branch! 1318 01:11:14,569 --> 01:11:16,948 You don't know how big you get when you transform! 1319 01:11:16,948 --> 01:11:18,948 That's the wrong tree for you. 1320 01:11:19,458 --> 01:11:20,518 Anton, I've... 1321 01:11:20,518 --> 01:11:22,737 Oh, no, you've forgot the combination. 1322 01:11:23,107 --> 01:11:24,827 Why did you get a combination lock? 1323 01:11:24,827 --> 01:11:26,237 I lost my key last time. 1324 01:11:26,347 --> 01:11:29,126 Okay, well, it's probably 4 zeros, that's the factory setting, is it? 1325 01:11:29,126 --> 01:11:30,856 - Fuck off to a tree. - Hey! 1326 01:11:30,856 --> 01:11:32,466 Werewolves, not swearwolves. 1327 01:11:32,466 --> 01:11:34,466 Yeah, I know, well on transformation nights, 1328 01:11:34,466 --> 01:11:36,465 it's alright, alright? I'm getting stressed out. 1329 01:11:36,595 --> 01:11:37,835 I was just reminding you. 1330 01:11:37,835 --> 01:11:40,495 Stop talking and chain yourself up you dickhead! 1331 01:11:40,495 --> 01:11:41,894 Honestly, we're transforming. 1332 01:11:41,934 --> 01:11:43,254 Alright, we'll keep walking. 1333 01:11:43,254 --> 01:11:46,124 - Yeah, keep walking. By the way I find that offensive! - We'll keep walking. 1334 01:11:46,264 --> 01:11:47,264 Is it fur? 1335 01:11:47,294 --> 01:11:48,653 Oh, for crying out loud. 1336 01:11:48,823 --> 01:11:51,763 Don't look at the fur everyone. Get back to your trees, okay? 1337 01:11:51,763 --> 01:11:53,423 - That's disgusting, man. - You're wearing fur. 1338 01:11:53,423 --> 01:11:54,652 Declan! 1339 01:11:54,652 --> 01:11:56,112 - That's not real fur. - Oh, shit! 1340 01:11:58,352 --> 01:12:00,722 Honestly, get out of here. Take your humans! 1341 01:12:00,722 --> 01:12:02,721 The guy in the bow-tie, he's gonna go first! 1342 01:12:04,081 --> 01:12:05,461 Get out of here! 1343 01:12:05,831 --> 01:12:08,510 Take all your coats off if you want to keep everyone! 1344 01:12:08,610 --> 01:12:10,450 Take that army service jacket off... 1345 01:12:13,900 --> 01:12:15,849 Get that camera out of my face! 1346 01:12:15,849 --> 01:12:17,849 Go, go! Let's go, let's go. Come on! 1347 01:12:19,549 --> 01:12:20,948 Run, Stu, RUN! 1348 01:12:23,698 --> 01:12:25,228 Let's go, let's go! 1349 01:12:30,507 --> 01:12:32,347 - They're coming, guys! - Shit! 1350 01:12:32,707 --> 01:12:34,046 I got one! 1351 01:12:52,024 --> 01:12:53,913 My leg! My leg! 1352 01:12:58,903 --> 01:13:00,053 Oh, God! 1353 01:13:00,542 --> 01:13:02,472 Stu! Stu! 1354 01:13:02,472 --> 01:13:03,562 STU! 1355 01:13:08,191 --> 01:13:09,061 Stu! 1356 01:13:10,521 --> 01:13:11,881 Get off me! 1357 01:13:13,121 --> 01:13:14,780 Stu, are you alright?! 1358 01:13:15,650 --> 01:13:16,660 Stu! 1359 01:13:17,940 --> 01:13:18,850 Stu! 1360 01:13:20,039 --> 01:13:20,819 Ah, fuck! 1361 01:13:25,119 --> 01:13:26,299 Fuck off! 1362 01:13:26,618 --> 01:13:28,018 Get off me! 1363 01:13:30,138 --> 01:13:32,048 You stinky piece of assholes! 1364 01:13:37,357 --> 01:13:39,107 Stupid werewolves! 1365 01:13:39,357 --> 01:13:40,636 Look away Nick! 1366 01:13:40,636 --> 01:13:42,636 Don't look at their blood! 1367 01:13:42,826 --> 01:13:44,486 Stu! 1368 01:13:44,686 --> 01:13:47,375 He's a really good dude! Leave him alone! 1369 01:13:47,395 --> 01:13:48,425 It's too late for him! 1370 01:13:48,425 --> 01:13:50,615 - Don't look at the blood Nick! - Stu! 1371 01:14:02,563 --> 01:14:04,373 There he is. 1372 01:14:06,122 --> 01:14:09,162 He's probably still a little upset having seen his 1373 01:14:09,162 --> 01:14:12,491 best friend disemboweled by werewolves. 1374 01:14:14,621 --> 01:14:15,781 Nick! 1375 01:14:16,491 --> 01:14:17,751 I found you. 1376 01:14:19,310 --> 01:14:20,450 Whoa! 1377 01:14:22,910 --> 01:14:24,890 That was pretty full on, heh? 1378 01:14:30,899 --> 01:14:33,688 But this is what happens when you are a vampire. 1379 01:14:34,448 --> 01:14:36,688 You have to watch everyone die. 1380 01:14:38,757 --> 01:14:41,007 You're mother and father. 1381 01:14:41,007 --> 01:14:42,427 All your friends. 1382 01:14:42,667 --> 01:14:44,297 Sometimes brutal. 1383 01:14:46,846 --> 01:14:50,146 Like slipping and falling onto a giant spike. 1384 01:14:50,406 --> 01:14:52,015 Or falling asleep. 1385 01:14:52,285 --> 01:14:54,805 In an autumn pile of leaves, 1386 01:14:55,165 --> 01:14:58,884 and having some of them, block your wind pipe. 1387 01:14:59,494 --> 01:15:02,064 Or making the simple mistake, 1388 01:15:02,524 --> 01:15:05,163 of fashioning a mask out of crackers, 1389 01:15:05,163 --> 01:15:07,163 and being attacked by ducks. 1390 01:15:07,413 --> 01:15:08,673 Geese. 1391 01:15:09,283 --> 01:15:10,703 Swans. 1392 01:15:11,333 --> 01:15:13,362 Or simply dieing of old age. 1393 01:15:15,952 --> 01:15:18,421 But even old age is brutal. 1394 01:15:18,871 --> 01:15:20,491 Watching your friends... 1395 01:15:20,761 --> 01:15:21,721 ... grow old. 1396 01:15:21,991 --> 01:15:23,941 They can't piss. 1397 01:15:24,241 --> 01:15:27,820 And they say stupid things and their brains go and they 1398 01:15:27,820 --> 01:15:29,820 can't remember anything. 1399 01:15:31,939 --> 01:15:35,359 And then, one day, they can't even remember who you are. 1400 01:15:36,689 --> 01:15:38,828 And you wish they were dead. 1401 01:15:39,318 --> 01:15:41,258 And then they do die. 1402 01:15:44,737 --> 01:15:45,717 No. 1403 01:15:45,717 --> 01:15:47,717 If I know Stu... 1404 01:15:48,367 --> 01:15:51,066 ... this was probably the way he wanted to go. 1405 01:15:51,536 --> 01:15:54,096 Disemboweled by werewolves. 1406 01:15:54,966 --> 01:15:56,416 Blood and guts, 1407 01:15:56,416 --> 01:15:58,415 splat onto the trees. 1408 01:15:58,685 --> 01:16:01,135 His face torned to shreds. 1409 01:16:10,853 --> 01:16:13,103 I hope I made you feel better. 1410 01:16:19,522 --> 01:16:21,932 Ah, well, from what we could see in the beginning 1411 01:16:21,932 --> 01:16:24,371 it looks like there's been a bit of a dog attack. 1412 01:16:24,371 --> 01:16:25,971 That's really what happens, when you get, you know... 1413 01:16:25,971 --> 01:16:27,131 dangerous dogs. 1414 01:16:27,131 --> 01:16:28,951 Um, straits, not being looked after. 1415 01:16:28,951 --> 01:16:30,250 This is not good. 1416 01:16:31,050 --> 01:16:32,630 No, not good at all. 1417 01:16:33,270 --> 01:16:35,050 There's nicer ways to go, then being... 1418 01:16:35,050 --> 01:16:39,119 ... torn apart, by what looks like a pack of dogs, more than just one. 1419 01:16:39,119 --> 01:16:41,499 - I say so. - These attacks have been happening more, more frequent. 1420 01:16:41,499 --> 01:16:44,828 They're happening on a monthly bases and and it's just no good for anybody, okay? 1421 01:16:44,928 --> 01:16:47,028 Specially not the dogs. Certainly not the community. 1422 01:16:47,178 --> 01:16:48,908 I've got the bastard. 1423 01:16:48,988 --> 01:16:50,347 One of them here, hey? 1424 01:16:50,467 --> 01:16:52,157 That's what I'm talking about. Look at it. 1425 01:16:52,157 --> 01:16:54,447 End of the day, this dog is gonna have to be put down. 1426 01:16:54,607 --> 01:16:55,957 What a shame. 1427 01:16:57,496 --> 01:16:58,516 Look what you did. 1428 01:16:58,856 --> 01:16:59,596 Hey? 1429 01:17:00,146 --> 01:17:02,896 He's got the scent again, hasn't he? He wants to go again. He's not finished. 1430 01:17:02,896 --> 01:17:03,515 Yeah. 1431 01:17:32,461 --> 01:17:36,520 They say that vampires hearts are cold and dead. 1432 01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:39,090 Definitely dead. 1433 01:17:39,140 --> 01:17:42,320 - Bye Stu. - He would have loved his scarf. 1434 01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:44,459 It was lovely, loose, knit. 1435 01:17:44,989 --> 01:17:48,659 But I don't know. I think I still feel things inside it. 1436 01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:53,828 Deacon! 1437 01:17:55,078 --> 01:17:56,217 Deacon! 1438 01:17:56,327 --> 01:17:58,807 Deacon, wakey, wakey. Hey! 1439 01:17:58,807 --> 01:18:02,176 You don't sleep in here. The curtain's opened. It's nearly morning. 1440 01:18:02,266 --> 01:18:04,686 You want to get sizzled to a crisp. 1441 01:18:04,826 --> 01:18:07,686 You know, you could think a little about these things. 1442 01:18:07,686 --> 01:18:08,076 Okay. 1443 01:18:08,166 --> 01:18:10,155 - Sorry Viago. - It's okay. 1444 01:18:10,315 --> 01:18:12,255 - Night, night! Okay. 1445 01:18:38,511 --> 01:18:41,970 Received at 4:20 AM: 1446 01:19:04,917 --> 01:19:06,547 - Stu?! - Hey, Deacon. 1447 01:19:06,867 --> 01:19:08,346 - Stu! - How is it? 1448 01:19:09,156 --> 01:19:10,166 Good to see you. 1449 01:19:10,286 --> 01:19:11,206 Look at his face! 1450 01:19:11,206 --> 01:19:12,766 I saw them tear you to shreds! 1451 01:19:12,766 --> 01:19:14,026 Look! He looks like Seal! 1452 01:19:14,565 --> 01:19:15,455 They didn't kill me. 1453 01:19:15,485 --> 01:19:17,725 - It looks cool. - Thank you, thank you. 1454 01:19:17,835 --> 01:19:19,085 Meet some of our friends. 1455 01:19:19,475 --> 01:19:21,044 Anton, Deacon. 1456 01:19:21,684 --> 01:19:23,234 Hi, Anton. 1457 01:19:27,024 --> 01:19:29,003 I must have blacked out. 1458 01:19:29,003 --> 01:19:30,483 And then, I remember, 1459 01:19:30,483 --> 01:19:31,923 - an ambulance. - He's going into shock. 1460 01:19:31,923 --> 01:19:33,873 O'Leary. O'Leary! 1461 01:19:33,873 --> 01:19:35,482 Yeah, coming! 1462 01:19:35,482 --> 01:19:37,762 - Okay, calm down, mate. - Calm down. 1463 01:19:41,221 --> 01:19:42,481 Looks like rabies, doesn't it? 1464 01:19:42,481 --> 01:19:45,321 And I don't know how long after that was, but like, woke up. 1465 01:19:45,761 --> 01:19:48,370 And it was daytime. 1466 01:19:52,100 --> 01:19:53,999 And I couldn't find my clothes. 1467 01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:58,189 Those werewolves guys... 1468 01:19:58,359 --> 01:19:59,489 ... eventually found me. 1469 01:20:00,059 --> 01:20:01,478 And they had some, 1470 01:20:01,478 --> 01:20:03,478 they like, lent me some pants. 1471 01:20:04,548 --> 01:20:06,548 So, yeah, those guys have been supporting me. 1472 01:20:06,798 --> 01:20:08,547 Cause I was quite confused. 1473 01:20:10,437 --> 01:20:12,277 Yeah, these are the guys who, um, 1474 01:20:12,537 --> 01:20:13,956 turned me into a werewolf. 1475 01:20:14,396 --> 01:20:15,846 You knit your own jersey? 1476 01:20:16,436 --> 01:20:17,746 - Yes. - Oh, yeah? 1477 01:20:17,936 --> 01:20:19,796 - I knit. - Is that the moon, or? 1478 01:20:20,055 --> 01:20:22,415 - Yes. - Hopefully, we won't, you know... 1479 01:20:25,565 --> 01:20:27,004 Ah, this is a nice place. 1480 01:20:27,004 --> 01:20:29,794 Please, don't, ah, don't lick anything or... 1481 01:20:29,794 --> 01:20:31,794 ... pee on anything. 1482 01:20:31,794 --> 01:20:33,653 We were worried at first, you know, we thought 1483 01:20:33,653 --> 01:20:36,063 'Ooh, they are just going to urinate on everything.' 1484 01:20:36,293 --> 01:20:39,543 But they actually are really polite and pretty clean. 1485 01:20:39,672 --> 01:20:42,292 There was obviously that werewolves smell, 1486 01:20:42,292 --> 01:20:45,652 which permeated the entire house for the first half an hour. 1487 01:20:45,652 --> 01:20:48,641 But we opened some windows and got rid of that. 1488 01:20:48,641 --> 01:20:50,931 'What a stupid suggestion, their idea,' I thought. 1489 01:20:50,951 --> 01:20:51,751 No way. 1490 01:20:51,751 --> 01:20:54,440 You know, walking into the vampire's den. That's ludicrous. 1491 01:20:54,440 --> 01:20:55,710 That's my hand. 1492 01:20:55,780 --> 01:20:57,660 But I thought, we'll give it a shot. 1493 01:20:57,660 --> 01:20:59,829 You know, I'm the alpha male, so I made the call. 1494 01:21:00,059 --> 01:21:01,349 I'm the alpha male. 1495 01:21:01,349 --> 01:21:03,649 - Yes. - So, generally... 1496 01:21:03,699 --> 01:21:04,939 ... all of the other guys follow me. 1497 01:21:04,939 --> 01:21:06,078 - For Stu! - For STU! 1498 01:21:06,168 --> 01:21:07,318 Thanks guys. 1499 01:21:07,318 --> 01:21:08,918 What have you done to your face? 1500 01:21:09,088 --> 01:21:11,308 I got attacked by some werewolves. 1501 01:21:11,368 --> 01:21:14,747 Army is a werewolf. Seemed like a very nice person. 1502 01:21:15,147 --> 01:21:17,227 So, Katherine is a vampire now. 1503 01:21:17,227 --> 01:21:19,286 - Yes. - We decide to get together. 1504 01:21:19,286 --> 01:21:21,066 We just thought, the hell with it, you know. 1505 01:21:21,066 --> 01:21:22,536 What have we got to lose? 1506 01:21:22,936 --> 01:21:25,565 I was just sitting, doing nothing, 1507 01:21:25,565 --> 01:21:28,635 and he came floating in and over to me, 1508 01:21:28,635 --> 01:21:31,325 and I recognized him. It was wonderful. 1509 01:21:31,325 --> 01:21:33,324 And then I bit you on the neck. 1510 01:21:34,034 --> 01:21:35,584 That's right. 1511 01:21:36,654 --> 01:21:38,763 And I don't mind being a vampire. 1512 01:21:38,763 --> 01:21:40,763 I'm enjoying it. 1513 01:21:42,043 --> 01:21:44,703 Some people freak out a bit about the age difference. 1514 01:21:44,703 --> 01:21:48,442 Uh, they think, 'what's this 96-year old lady doing with a guy, 1515 01:21:48,442 --> 01:21:50,212 for times her age.' 1516 01:21:50,352 --> 01:21:53,341 - And, you know, I don't care... - It doesn't make any difference. 1517 01:21:53,341 --> 01:21:55,831 No, they can call me cradle-snatcher, who cares. 1518 01:21:55,981 --> 01:21:58,980 I decided to bite her and we're gonna be together forever. 1519 01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:00,600 - Wonderful. - Yeah. 1520 01:22:16,438 --> 01:22:20,157 Pauline and I are tentatively back together. 1521 01:22:20,377 --> 01:22:23,817 But it's not long before you remember why it was we 1522 01:22:23,817 --> 01:22:25,816 broke up in the first place. 1523 01:22:30,406 --> 01:22:31,595 We start in our bedroom, 1524 01:22:31,595 --> 01:22:34,615 and I need that totally boarded up or blacked out somehow. 1525 01:22:34,615 --> 01:22:36,255 My husband is my familiar. 1526 01:22:36,255 --> 01:22:39,124 So, there has been a dynamic shift there. 1527 01:22:39,144 --> 01:22:42,294 You could buy a Bedazzler. So you write that down. That's B-E-D... 1528 01:22:42,294 --> 01:22:45,093 I feel like I'm where I need to be now. 1529 01:22:45,633 --> 01:22:47,553 - I love you. - I love you too. 1530 01:22:47,613 --> 01:22:48,473 Great. 1531 01:22:49,523 --> 01:22:50,952 But I am your Master. 1532 01:22:51,072 --> 01:22:52,822 - Okay? - Yeah. 1533 01:22:53,692 --> 01:22:55,942 Yeah, these guys have to laugh at my jokes, right guys? 1534 01:22:56,102 --> 01:22:57,571 Yeah! 1535 01:22:58,201 --> 01:22:59,201 That is a good one. 1536 01:22:59,201 --> 01:23:01,341 I always look round to make sure they're all laughing. 1537 01:23:01,341 --> 01:23:03,701 Like, if I see one of them is not quite laughing I'll be like, 'Hey!' 1538 01:23:03,701 --> 01:23:05,840 'You laughing?', and often I'll test you. 1539 01:23:05,840 --> 01:23:07,310 - What are you laughing at, Justin? 1540 01:23:07,310 --> 01:23:09,010 - Hey? - What are you laughing at now? 1541 01:23:09,010 --> 01:23:11,009 - Just then? - Yeah, yeah, but what? 1542 01:23:11,009 --> 01:23:12,099 Oh, I don't know. 1543 01:23:12,169 --> 01:23:15,419 Ah, test failed! Test failed! 1544 01:23:15,419 --> 01:23:17,838 You're laughing now. What are you laughing at now though? 1545 01:23:18,118 --> 01:23:19,298 I don't know cause... 1546 01:23:19,298 --> 01:23:22,188 Ah, another failure! 1547 01:23:22,248 --> 01:23:23,897 Well, what are you laughing at Stu? 1548 01:23:24,117 --> 01:23:25,647 Oh, I was laughing with the group. 1549 01:23:25,727 --> 01:23:27,427 Yep, that's good. That's good, yeah. 1550 01:23:28,807 --> 01:23:31,046 Just pay attention. Pay attention. 1551 01:23:31,976 --> 01:23:33,026 Laugh with the group. 1552 01:25:08,971 --> 01:25:11,931 You will not remember the last hour and a half, 1553 01:25:11,931 --> 01:25:13,931 of what you have just seen. 1554 01:25:14,731 --> 01:25:16,120 You will forget... 1555 01:25:16,650 --> 01:25:18,900 ... the contents of this movie. 113840