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1
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:09,000
- Happy wedding day, girl!
- Thanks.
2
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,484
I've dreamt about this
day my whole life,
3
00:00:11,551 --> 00:00:15,037
and I can't wait to spend it
getting ready with all of you.
4
00:00:15,062 --> 00:00:18,882
I don't have any siblings due
to my mom's corn silo accident,
5
00:00:19,078 --> 00:00:22,150
but I've got you.
Thanks for being here for me.
6
00:00:22,175 --> 00:00:24,914
- Here's something old.
- Oh.
7
00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:30,187
I made them from petrified owl pellets.
8
00:00:30,718 --> 00:00:32,804
- Thank you.
- Here's something new.
9
00:00:33,203 --> 00:00:36,507
You've had the same tube of Carmex
since I met you five years ago.
10
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,002
It's unsettling.
11
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,414
Thanks.
12
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:49,890
Uh, I wasn't aware there'd
be gifts since I was not
13
00:00:49,957 --> 00:00:51,991
on the email chain because
I'm not a bridesmaid,
14
00:00:52,058 --> 00:00:54,203
but, uh...
15
00:00:55,462 --> 00:00:57,698
Here, something borrowed.
16
00:00:57,882 --> 00:01:00,218
It's Tiffany's, hence the borrowed.
17
00:01:00,546 --> 00:01:01,701
I will need that back.
18
00:01:01,768 --> 00:01:04,237
- And here's something blue.
- Oh.
19
00:01:06,203 --> 00:01:09,109
Is... this lubricant?
20
00:01:09,562 --> 00:01:11,811
- Yeah.
- But it's not blue.
21
00:01:11,877 --> 00:01:13,906
It's for something blue.
22
00:01:14,389 --> 00:01:16,085
Hot Dad's balls.
23
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:22,453
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
24
00:01:23,690 --> 00:01:25,179
Wow.
25
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,793
Look at these.
26
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:29,129
I was still feeling sad
about not being chosen
27
00:01:29,196 --> 00:01:31,530
as a bridesmaid, but seeing your dresses
28
00:01:31,598 --> 00:01:33,351
makes me feel much better.
29
00:01:33,523 --> 00:01:36,536
- Get out of my way.
- Look who's here.
30
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,673
Meemaw, you made it!
31
00:01:41,945 --> 00:01:44,669
Love is patient.
32
00:01:45,093 --> 00:01:46,678
Love is kind.
33
00:01:46,703 --> 00:01:48,578
No, Mom. No, not yet.
34
00:01:48,781 --> 00:01:50,320
- Love is patient.
- No, the wedding's not
35
00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:52,601
- for a few hours, Mom.
- Love is kind.
36
00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:55,140
It's a tradition that my
mother reads from 1 Corinthians
37
00:01:55,165 --> 00:01:56,266
at family weddings.
38
00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:57,796
This might be her last wedding,
39
00:01:57,821 --> 00:02:00,468
so it's so special that
she's here to do the reading.
40
00:02:00,493 --> 00:02:04,226
Meemaw, I wanna introduce you
to the most important woman
41
00:02:04,251 --> 00:02:06,718
in my entire life, Chelsea Snap,
42
00:02:07,776 --> 00:02:09,289
and my other friends too.
43
00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:12,068
Chelsea, would you mind watching Meemaw
44
00:02:12,093 --> 00:02:13,320
while we get ready?
45
00:02:14,745 --> 00:02:16,882
I'm so sorry, but I can't.
46
00:02:17,359 --> 00:02:18,946
I'm allergic to whatever it is that
47
00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:20,828
makes old people smell the way they do.
48
00:02:21,904 --> 00:02:25,320
I'd love to help, but as the attendant,
49
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:28,375
I'll be too busy organizing
the towlettes for the bathroom.
50
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:35,205
- Can you?
- Okay, Meemaw.
51
00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:37,609
Looks like it's you and me today.
52
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,796
Just let me know
whatever it is you need.
53
00:02:42,821 --> 00:02:44,484
All right.
54
00:02:44,839 --> 00:02:45,867
- Mom.
- Yes?
55
00:02:45,892 --> 00:02:47,300
Why don't you come with
me so I can show you
56
00:02:47,325 --> 00:02:49,101
the finishing touches
they put on my dress?
57
00:02:49,863 --> 00:02:52,668
So where is Cecelia?
Did she go pick up the rings?
58
00:02:52,891 --> 00:02:55,453
Yes, but since it's the last day
59
00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:56,906
of teacher contract negotiations,
60
00:02:56,931 --> 00:02:58,289
she stopped by the protest.
61
00:02:58,483 --> 00:03:01,742
Salary cuts.
We won't take it, so don't ask.
62
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,920
We won't take it, so don't ask.
63
00:03:03,945 --> 00:03:06,117
We won't take it up the ass!
64
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:08,210
We won't take it up the ass!
65
00:03:08,235 --> 00:03:11,085
No, no, no, no! That's not what I said!
66
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:12,507
I did not say that!
67
00:03:12,532 --> 00:03:14,898
I can't believe Cecelia's
late as a bridesmaid.
68
00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:17,158
It's like,
have some respect for your job.
69
00:03:17,218 --> 00:03:19,460
Speaking of, listen up, bridesmaids.
70
00:03:19,537 --> 00:03:21,812
Because I'm the most snatched
maid of honor ever...
71
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:24,851
hashtag fact not fiction...
I booked an esthetician
72
00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:27,343
- to pamper us.
- Wow, thanks, Chelsea.
73
00:03:27,368 --> 00:03:28,468
I said bridesmaids.
74
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,203
Who wants to go first?
75
00:03:30,309 --> 00:03:32,093
Okay, fine, I'll go.
76
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,048
Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!
77
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,742
She's such a beast.
78
00:03:37,881 --> 00:03:38,984
Where's Meemaw?
79
00:03:43,851 --> 00:03:45,553
- Hey, there he is.
- Hey.
80
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,328
The big guy himself.
81
00:03:47,542 --> 00:03:48,781
Pastor Ted.
82
00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,382
Okay, well, I'm... I'm gonna
start getting ready.
83
00:03:55,407 --> 00:03:56,774
Nope.
84
00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:59,460
They're exterminating in there.
It's very unsafe.
85
00:03:59,485 --> 00:04:02,113
But don't worry, you can use
my office to get dressed.
86
00:04:02,138 --> 00:04:03,806
Oh, that's okay,
I can just use the bathroom.
87
00:04:03,831 --> 00:04:08,523
Nope, the stalls in there are too small.
88
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:10,742
Too hard to get legs into pants.
89
00:04:11,008 --> 00:04:12,078
It's gonna need to be my office.
90
00:04:12,111 --> 00:04:14,372
Come with me. Come on.
Come on, this way. This way.
91
00:04:21,017 --> 00:04:22,351
Oh, sorry, I wasn't clear.
92
00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,835
I need to use this room
as well to change so...
93
00:04:27,764 --> 00:04:28,898
Meemaw?
94
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,609
She can barely walk.
How far could she have gotten?
95
00:04:31,683 --> 00:04:34,679
Two summers ago, I saw
June Squip in a Zumba class.
96
00:04:34,854 --> 00:04:37,007
Old women can be deceptively spry.
97
00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:40,437
Meemaw? Oh, God.
98
00:04:40,558 --> 00:04:41,984
We can't be gone for much longer.
99
00:04:42,009 --> 00:04:44,125
Mary Louise is gonna wonder why
we're not getting ready with her.
100
00:04:49,241 --> 00:04:51,944
Okay, Caroline, we get it. You're white.
101
00:04:51,969 --> 00:04:53,515
- You love tennis.
- No, Deb.
102
00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:56,876
It's from Meemaw's walker.
Clearly I'm better at tracking.
103
00:04:56,937 --> 00:04:59,605
You go cover while I hunt
the old girl down.
104
00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:04,164
She's close.
105
00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:06,915
I... I've been trying to talk
her into more curls, you know?
106
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,500
Hey, hey, look at you two in your robes.
107
00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:11,179
There you are!
108
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,953
Where are the other girls?
109
00:05:13,473 --> 00:05:15,910
Caroline's making sure
that the altar is clean
110
00:05:15,935 --> 00:05:17,670
for the ceremony. You know how she is.
111
00:05:17,695 --> 00:05:20,898
Uh, Cecelia's polishing the rings,
112
00:05:20,923 --> 00:05:23,358
and Chelsea's with an esthetician.
113
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,562
- That one's actually true.
- Where's Meemaw?
114
00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:30,202
She's in the bathroom.
115
00:05:30,227 --> 00:05:32,640
I think she drank too many Ensures.
116
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,796
I hope she's okay.
117
00:05:33,821 --> 00:05:34,937
She's gotta do the reading later.
118
00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:36,781
Oh, no, stay here. She's fine.
119
00:05:36,806 --> 00:05:40,077
It's just a normal poop, not diarrhea.
120
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:41,879
How do you know?
121
00:05:42,748 --> 00:05:44,976
I was in there for the beginning of it.
122
00:05:45,496 --> 00:05:48,999
And it, uh, was just
your average plopping,
123
00:05:49,024 --> 00:05:51,898
- not that running water noise.
- Debra.
124
00:05:53,326 --> 00:05:55,054
They aren't budging
on any of our demands.
125
00:05:55,118 --> 00:05:56,304
Unbelievable.
126
00:05:56,585 --> 00:05:57,594
Fascists.
127
00:05:57,619 --> 00:05:58,655
Step back, please.
128
00:05:58,902 --> 00:06:01,129
Excuse me, officer.
We're just trying to have a peaceful...
129
00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:03,645
- Get down!
- No!
130
00:06:06,493 --> 00:06:09,196
What did you just do?
131
00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:12,296
Meemaw? Are you in here?
132
00:06:13,035 --> 00:06:14,210
What's wrong?
133
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:18,992
Hello?
134
00:06:22,952 --> 00:06:24,078
Meemaw?
135
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,953
I'm ruined!
136
00:06:30,526 --> 00:06:31,945
What happened?
137
00:06:32,706 --> 00:06:34,585
- She did.
- I'm so sorry!
138
00:06:34,610 --> 00:06:36,000
They didn't cover adverse reactions
139
00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:37,605
in the six-hour online course.
140
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,523
Oh, my God! Get out, get out, get out!
141
00:06:41,095 --> 00:06:44,218
Jesus. You got that from a facial?
142
00:06:44,243 --> 00:06:45,578
Yes!
143
00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:48,281
And a chemical peel, cupping,
144
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:51,093
lipid cheek injections,
and some very basic Botox,
145
00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:53,288
but it shouldn't look like this!
146
00:06:53,512 --> 00:06:55,726
I can't walk down the aisle like this.
147
00:06:55,751 --> 00:06:57,203
Cancel the wedding!
148
00:06:57,228 --> 00:06:59,063
It's not your wedding to cancel.
149
00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:00,123
Now get it together.
150
00:07:00,148 --> 00:07:01,734
Mary Louise is waiting for us!
151
00:07:01,759 --> 00:07:04,226
Hey, I can hear you
all the way down the hall.
152
00:07:04,597 --> 00:07:05,799
We've got a problem.
153
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,335
Cecelia is in jail.
154
00:07:08,132 --> 00:07:10,250
Holy fuck, what is that thing?
155
00:07:10,474 --> 00:07:12,031
It's Chelsea.
156
00:07:15,743 --> 00:07:18,851
Chelsea, I'm sorry I called you a thing.
157
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:22,234
It just took me a few seconds
to recognize you as a human.
158
00:07:22,266 --> 00:07:24,367
Leave me alone!
159
00:07:24,392 --> 00:07:26,294
Great, Chelsea won't come out,
160
00:07:26,394 --> 00:07:27,796
Cecelia's locked up with the rings,
161
00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:30,539
and Meemaw's gone AWOL.
Mary Louise is gonna freak.
162
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,460
No, she's not because
she's not gonna find out.
163
00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:35,273
How? This day is screwed.
164
00:07:35,298 --> 00:07:38,375
Listen to me. I have been
a maid of honor 20 times,
165
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,468
and something always
goes awry on the big day.
166
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:42,046
You keep looking for Meemaw.
167
00:07:42,156 --> 00:07:44,203
I'll call Kyle to see
if he can talk Chelsea out.
168
00:07:44,228 --> 00:07:47,976
What about Cecelia, hmm?
Her bail's $2,000.
169
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,054
I don't have that kind of cash,
and I know you don't.
170
00:07:50,079 --> 00:07:51,218
Rude.
171
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,789
Okay, I'll work on getting the money.
172
00:07:53,814 --> 00:07:56,453
Just find Meemaw. She has a walker, Deb.
173
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,546
It's honestly embarrassing
we haven't found her yet.
174
00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,789
You know, I don't understand
why we have to have
175
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,367
this conversation in our underwear.
176
00:08:03,393 --> 00:08:06,062
Marriage is a really big decision,
177
00:08:06,537 --> 00:08:10,874
and I feel like there's some
kind of internal struggle
178
00:08:10,987 --> 00:08:13,398
- that you're dealing with.
- No.
179
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,445
Yeah, yeah, just an unstoppable desire.
180
00:08:18,195 --> 00:08:20,632
It's undulating beneath your skin.
181
00:08:20,828 --> 00:08:21,984
Ah!
182
00:08:22,009 --> 00:08:23,437
Oh, this is where the men are changing.
183
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:25,031
You fellas have the right idea.
184
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:26,304
Let's get out of these monkey suits
185
00:08:26,329 --> 00:08:27,757
for as long as we can, right?
186
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:29,414
Oh, much better.
187
00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:33,375
How we doing?
188
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,125
Good.
189
00:08:41,891 --> 00:08:43,226
Meemaw?
190
00:08:57,692 --> 00:08:59,203
Meemaw?
191
00:09:02,557 --> 00:09:04,070
Is that communion wine?
192
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,304
Yes.
193
00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:07,109
I'm drunk.
194
00:09:07,828 --> 00:09:10,882
In fact, I'm pretty fucked up.
195
00:09:11,291 --> 00:09:13,265
- What about the reading?
- Relax.
196
00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:15,992
Love is...
197
00:09:18,998 --> 00:09:20,679
I'm gonna need a refill.
198
00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:23,984
Chelsea, I'm sure you're
still beautiful.
199
00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,132
- No, I'm a monster!
- Oh, my...
200
00:09:26,157 --> 00:09:27,773
Ah, hey! You can't...
201
00:09:28,346 --> 00:09:29,944
Chelsea, stop it!
202
00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:32,492
I'm coming in.
203
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,460
Okay.
204
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,078
Whoa!
205
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,835
I'll get ice, lots of ice.
206
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:43,601
Baby?
207
00:09:45,309 --> 00:09:47,111
How am I supposed to get
the ice on my face?
208
00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:48,539
Chelsea?
209
00:09:48,737 --> 00:09:50,265
The other bridesmaids?
210
00:09:50,773 --> 00:09:51,867
Oh!
211
00:09:52,568 --> 00:09:55,303
- Congrats on your wedding.
- What are you doing?
212
00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:56,977
Why aren't you getting ready with me?
213
00:09:57,091 --> 00:10:02,000
She, uh... she's just... what
she's doing right now is,
214
00:10:02,025 --> 00:10:04,835
- she's, um...
- I'm putting my face on ice.
215
00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:07,363
It helps keep the skin tight.
216
00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:10,157
I wanna be extra tight
for your wedding, girl.
217
00:10:10,182 --> 00:10:11,617
Oh, okay, then.
218
00:10:11,642 --> 00:10:13,210
Well, just come back as soon as you can.
219
00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:15,003
In the meantime, keep chilling.
220
00:10:15,265 --> 00:10:17,179
Good one.
221
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,733
Does it look any better?
222
00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:28,007
Thank you for being here
for this blessed event.
223
00:10:29,259 --> 00:10:30,984
Okay, bye-bye, now.
224
00:10:35,599 --> 00:10:38,669
Crap, another
Bed Bath & Beyond gift card.
225
00:10:38,853 --> 00:10:40,921
That's like saying, "Here,
enjoy buying the same shit
226
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:43,383
- you owned in college."
- Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo.
227
00:10:43,408 --> 00:10:44,703
Whoa!
228
00:10:45,249 --> 00:10:46,859
Okay, I found Meemaw,
229
00:10:46,967 --> 00:10:49,429
but she's more hammered
than Nick Nolte on the PCH.
230
00:10:49,454 --> 00:10:50,687
Fantastic.
231
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,406
Well, I've already opened up
all the cards,
232
00:10:52,431 --> 00:10:55,156
and we're still $500 short
of making Cecelia's bail.
233
00:10:58,405 --> 00:10:59,546
Oh, my God.
234
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:07,757
Caroline, focus. We still need $500.
235
00:11:07,782 --> 00:11:08,916
How am I supposed to focus
236
00:11:08,941 --> 00:11:10,867
when I'm emotionally devastated, Deb?
237
00:11:10,892 --> 00:11:11,968
Fine!
238
00:11:12,077 --> 00:11:13,898
You go keep Mary Louise busy.
239
00:11:14,086 --> 00:11:16,655
I'll get some coffee to sober Meemaw up
240
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,593
and try to scrounge up
the rest of the cash.
241
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:21,109
I... I can't use the bathroom.
242
00:11:21,193 --> 00:11:23,953
There's some burn victim
in there just screaming.
243
00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:25,674
All right.
244
00:11:26,116 --> 00:11:28,000
So now I'm selling bird cage furniture,
245
00:11:28,025 --> 00:11:30,460
little ladders and hoops
and bells and things like that.
246
00:11:30,485 --> 00:11:31,531
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
247
00:11:31,556 --> 00:11:33,123
John-Paul, you don't have
anything else you should be
248
00:11:33,148 --> 00:11:34,351
- doing right now?
- No, no.
249
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:35,937
These days are more for the women.
250
00:11:37,024 --> 00:11:38,195
Hey, there he is.
251
00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:40,218
Matthew-John, Paul-Luke, come on in.
252
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:41,806
This is where the guys
are getting ready.
253
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,523
Take off your pants
and relax for a while.
254
00:11:43,548 --> 00:11:44,816
Oh, thank God.
255
00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:47,617
So nowadays it's more
than just little ladders
256
00:11:47,642 --> 00:11:50,304
and bells and hoops and stuff
like that for birds.
257
00:11:50,523 --> 00:11:53,132
They have all kinds of little,
like, dollhouse furniture.
258
00:11:53,157 --> 00:11:54,539
The stuff is very exciting.
259
00:11:55,216 --> 00:11:56,552
Hi, ladies.
260
00:11:56,775 --> 00:11:58,835
Finally, one of you is back.
261
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:01,093
That altar must have been filthy.
262
00:12:01,685 --> 00:12:03,867
Caroline, what's wrong?
263
00:12:04,179 --> 00:12:05,320
Nothing.
264
00:12:05,359 --> 00:12:07,179
You look like you've been crying.
265
00:12:07,228 --> 00:12:08,984
Okay, I have been.
266
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:13,242
I just keep thinking about how
beautiful this all is, you know,
267
00:12:14,256 --> 00:12:16,914
and how gorgeous you'll look
walking down the aisle
268
00:12:17,381 --> 00:12:20,226
and what an amazing day this will be,
269
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,750
and that is why I'm crying.
270
00:12:24,651 --> 00:12:26,710
And Jesus will be there.
271
00:12:28,485 --> 00:12:31,898
Now you've got me crying. Oh, honey.
272
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,976
- He will.
- Oh, Jesus!
273
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:37,476
- Praise You, Jesus!
- Oh, Jesus!
274
00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:39,503
Yes, thank you, Jesus!
275
00:12:39,528 --> 00:12:40,601
I mean, Jesus Christ!
276
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,164
- Jesus!
- Jesus!
277
00:12:42,189 --> 00:12:44,289
- Oh, my God!
- Thank You, Jesus!
278
00:12:44,337 --> 00:12:45,945
Hello, wedding guests.
279
00:12:46,246 --> 00:12:48,023
Can I have your attention, please?
280
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:49,960
Hello?
281
00:12:52,837 --> 00:12:56,929
We are asking for donations
today for the maid of honor,
282
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,453
Chelsea Snap.
283
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:04,812
She was in a terrible fire
at a Forever 21,
284
00:13:04,837 --> 00:13:07,806
and she saved all the
shoppers before herself.
285
00:13:07,923 --> 00:13:10,394
She even still has part of a crop top
286
00:13:10,419 --> 00:13:12,621
permanently melted into her back.
287
00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:13,775
Oh, it's awful,
288
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,046
- awful, awful, awful, awful.
- Yeah, it really is.
289
00:13:16,237 --> 00:13:19,429
So won't you please consider
making a contribution today
290
00:13:19,454 --> 00:13:22,304
to help Chelsea pay
for all of the skin grafts?
291
00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:27,531
Five bucks? You cheapskate.
292
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:28,859
She needs a new face.
293
00:13:29,757 --> 00:13:31,609
Looks like a pizza without cheese.
294
00:13:37,479 --> 00:13:38,787
It's really over.
295
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:42,437
I always held out hope that
someday we'd end up together,
296
00:13:42,462 --> 00:13:45,781
but he's obviously moved on.
297
00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:49,468
At least it's your life
and not your face.
298
00:13:49,493 --> 00:13:51,500
Chelsea, you're gonna be fine.
299
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:54,398
Do you think I'll be fine?
300
00:13:55,455 --> 00:13:56,690
Uh...
301
00:13:57,007 --> 00:13:59,077
Oh, my God!
302
00:13:59,781 --> 00:14:01,101
Cecelia, help, help!
303
00:14:01,126 --> 00:14:03,262
- I am, I am.
- Okay, okay.
304
00:14:03,287 --> 00:14:04,585
All right, get this door.
305
00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:07,812
Okay, we got the rings...
I mean, Cecelia.
306
00:14:08,294 --> 00:14:10,835
Uh, now, everybody,
pull yourselves together.
307
00:14:10,885 --> 00:14:13,750
I can't. I'm nothing to him!
308
00:14:13,775 --> 00:14:15,110
Does this church have Wi-Fi?
309
00:14:15,135 --> 00:14:16,562
I need to get an update
on the negotiations.
310
00:14:16,587 --> 00:14:19,457
Uh, yeah, uh, the network
is I heart Jesus,
311
00:14:19,482 --> 00:14:21,585
and the password is get
your head out of your ass.
312
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,745
- Now, move!
- Hello?
313
00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:25,093
- Oh!
- Is anybody in here?
314
00:14:25,118 --> 00:14:26,976
Oh, you can't see us like this.
315
00:14:32,273 --> 00:14:34,387
You guys, what is going on?
316
00:14:34,412 --> 00:14:36,882
I've barely seen any of you all day.
317
00:14:37,506 --> 00:14:39,073
Sorry, bride-to-be.
318
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,429
We decided we wanted to wait
for you to see us
319
00:14:41,454 --> 00:14:42,822
until the ceremony.
320
00:14:43,106 --> 00:14:44,843
We thought it would be a nice surprise.
321
00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,843
So don't you dare come in here.
322
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,671
I'm glad you explained.
323
00:14:49,071 --> 00:14:51,039
I was starting to get pretty PO'ed.
324
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,671
You guys are so important to me.
325
00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:58,147
It's not about the hair, the makeup,
326
00:14:58,172 --> 00:14:59,804
the rings, or the dresses.
327
00:15:00,556 --> 00:15:02,015
It's about each of you,
328
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,437
'cause this day wouldn't be
the same without all of you.
329
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:10,835
Okay, I don't wanna cry
all my makeup off.
330
00:15:11,385 --> 00:15:12,640
I'm leaving.
331
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:16,804
Okay, everyone.
332
00:15:16,829 --> 00:15:18,367
I lost my chill for a minute there,
333
00:15:18,392 --> 00:15:19,429
but I am back.
334
00:15:19,454 --> 00:15:21,023
My little Christian
is getting married today,
335
00:15:21,048 --> 00:15:22,350
and we are not gonna let her down.
336
00:15:22,375 --> 00:15:24,359
Kyle, go grab our clothes and makeup.
337
00:15:24,442 --> 00:15:27,031
Caroline, wipe away your tears
and get to your post.
338
00:15:27,078 --> 00:15:28,765
Cecelia, take a whore's bath.
339
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:31,218
And, Meemaw, have you ever
heard of drunken IV?
340
00:15:31,285 --> 00:15:33,492
We are gonna get you sober in no time.
341
00:15:33,969 --> 00:15:35,265
It's go time!
342
00:15:36,564 --> 00:15:39,164
- Caroline...
- I can't talk right now.
343
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,726
I'm not a common guest like you.
344
00:15:40,751 --> 00:15:42,053
I'm a wedding attendant.
345
00:15:42,078 --> 00:15:44,815
I'm in charge of very important
things like the mints.
346
00:15:45,348 --> 00:15:48,406
I saw you crying earlier.
Is everything all right?
347
00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:50,359
Do you have any idea how badly it hurt
348
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,265
not to be asked
to be in my friend's wedding,
349
00:15:52,383 --> 00:15:55,171
and then on top of that to
have my ex-boyfriend saunter in
350
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:56,828
with the human equivalent of a Barbie?
351
00:15:56,853 --> 00:15:58,531
Are you referring to Brenda?
352
00:15:58,604 --> 00:15:59,704
Brenda?
353
00:16:00,005 --> 00:16:01,789
At least there's something
ugly about her.
354
00:16:01,824 --> 00:16:03,859
We're not romantically involved.
355
00:16:03,884 --> 00:16:06,062
- Okay.
- She's my neighbor.
356
00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:09,265
She's a lesbian athleisure
fashion designer.
357
00:16:10,561 --> 00:16:12,101
- Ooh.
- But even if we were,
358
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:13,226
why would you care?
359
00:16:13,329 --> 00:16:15,367
You made it clear
there was no future for us
360
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,281
when you didn't respond to my card.
361
00:16:17,306 --> 00:16:18,359
What card?
362
00:16:18,454 --> 00:16:20,757
The valentine I left on your desk.
363
00:16:21,364 --> 00:16:23,171
I never got a valentine.
364
00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:25,898
Then you don't know what I wrote?
365
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,992
I told you I wanted
to get back together.
366
00:16:30,668 --> 00:16:32,359
As in past tense?
367
00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:34,031
I still do.
368
00:16:36,885 --> 00:16:38,085
Me too.
369
00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:45,773
Do you know the only thing
370
00:16:45,798 --> 00:16:47,390
that would make me happier right now?
371
00:16:47,415 --> 00:16:49,617
- A butterfly nature walk?
- Yes.
372
00:16:49,961 --> 00:16:53,648
But also you being in that
wedding like you deserve.
373
00:16:54,851 --> 00:16:55,914
Here you go.
374
00:16:55,939 --> 00:16:58,125
You can watch Netflix on my phone,
375
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:02,023
and you can have as much
of this chocolate as you want.
376
00:17:02,299 --> 00:17:03,656
Bye-bye.
377
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:47,320
Love does not delight in
evil but rejoices with truth
378
00:17:47,429 --> 00:17:48,906
and always...
379
00:17:56,019 --> 00:17:58,821
Serve... Servaperes.
380
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:04,328
I just threw up in my mouth
a little bit.
381
00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:08,755
Mary Louise...
382
00:18:10,537 --> 00:18:12,039
I take you as my wife.
383
00:18:12,864 --> 00:18:15,867
I vow to share my life
and everything with you.
384
00:18:16,253 --> 00:18:18,188
You are my prayers answered.
385
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,132
And your friend was arrested.
386
00:18:34,292 --> 00:18:36,429
You know, the one who
smells like Fritos.
387
00:18:37,245 --> 00:18:41,101
And your headband friend
stole all the wedding money.
388
00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:45,390
And then your burn victim
friend collected donations.
389
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,937
Gotcha! Okay.
390
00:18:52,776 --> 00:18:54,945
You know your face always
looks perfect to me,
391
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,538
no matter how disfigured it is.
392
00:18:56,563 --> 00:18:57,734
Mmm.
393
00:18:58,465 --> 00:19:01,656
Oh, I'm still a little
too sensitive there.
394
00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:02,882
I'm so sorry.
395
00:19:03,035 --> 00:19:05,404
But there's one place I wasn't injected.
396
00:19:07,496 --> 00:19:10,570
Chelsea, I know what you did.
397
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:12,453
You do?
398
00:19:12,763 --> 00:19:16,000
You toned down your makeup
so I would shine.
399
00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:18,875
You truly are my best friend.
400
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,461
What the...
401
00:19:24,023 --> 00:19:26,945
You looked so beautiful
walking down the aisle today,
402
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:28,005
Care Bear.
403
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:30,093
Thanks for taking charge like that.
404
00:19:30,523 --> 00:19:32,132
Thanks for letting me.
405
00:19:33,012 --> 00:19:34,245
I love you.
406
00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:35,757
I love you too.
407
00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:49,781
Ladies and gentlemen,
408
00:19:49,806 --> 00:19:52,539
it is now time
for the couple's first dance.
409
00:20:02,474 --> 00:20:04,943
We did it, you guys.
Our girl got married,
410
00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:07,007
and she didn't even know
what a hot mess it was.
411
00:20:09,351 --> 00:20:12,226
Ladies, we're on strike.
412
00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:18,382
Don't tell her.
413
00:20:18,529 --> 00:20:19,968
Let her get screwed by Hot Dad
414
00:20:19,993 --> 00:20:22,179
before she finds out
she got screwed by the state.
415
00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:24,601
Show him your titties!
416
00:20:26,427 --> 00:20:27,757
Your tits.
417
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,194
Meemaw!
418
00:21:09,009 --> 00:21:11,062
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