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Good morning.
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Morning, squire. Good day.
3
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,560
George Gonzalo, esquire.
4
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Prospero and Brown, legal.
5
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I'm the executor and head trustee
for the estate
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00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:17,880
of the late Theodore Athenaeus and
this is his dog,
7
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Tim.
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This morning he was found missing,
presumed run away.
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In addition to your usual fee, my
firm has authorised me to offer
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a reward of £25,000 for his safe
return.
11
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- How much?
- How much?
12
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,440
He's worth his weight in gold.
13
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,560
To be precise, 426 times worth his
weight in gold.
14
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,440
At the close of yesterday's stock
market,
15
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,960
Tim's net fortune was £320 million.
16
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,080
Theodore Athenaeus was heir to a
vast shipping fortune.
17
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,880
A misanthrope and a recluse, he
shunned the company of humans.
18
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,200
Tim, it's believed, was a
traveller's dog who became
19
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,880
separated from his camp when giddy
fortune's furious fickle wheel
20
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,680
brought him here the night a great
fire swept through the house.
21
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,120
Now, no-one knows why, but Tim
dashed into the house,
22
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,720
through the flames, roused Mr
Athenaeus from his bed,
23
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,640
saving his life and earning his
undying and,
24
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:16,280
it transpired, his dying gratitude
25
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,200
and made Tim sole heir to his
fortune.
26
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,480
Was he barking mad?
27
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,800
Quite probably.
28
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,200
Though, when the extremely rich are
mad, they're more usually
29
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described as eccentric.
30
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,040
So, who owns Tim now?
31
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,800
Well, no-one does.
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00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,960
No, as executor of Mr Athenaeus's
will, I administer the estate.
33
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,520
His daily care is provided by a full
time staff.
34
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,520
Butler, housekeeper, chef, stylist,
personal trainer,
35
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,840
chauffeur, maid, groomer and
gardener.
36
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,920
They've been informed you'd like to
question them.
37
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,960
Wow.
38
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,640
What happens to all of this when
Tim...
39
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:56,960
..passes away?
40
00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:01,440
It will be distributed equally
amongst the 216 animal charities
41
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,960
currently supported by the
Athenaeus Foundation.
42
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,280
Some doghouse.
43
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,040
And the million dollar question is,
why would he run away?
44
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,440
KNOCK ON THE DOOR
45
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,720
Oh, Gloria!
46
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,000
The vet said he was suffering and we
couldn't have that.
47
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,720
Mind you, he had a good innings.
48
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,160
Goodbye, Kent.
49
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,680
Old and faithful friend.
50
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,960
That's the dry cleaning, sweetheart.
51
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,680
He's still at the vet's until I
can...
52
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,440
..make the arrangements.
53
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,880
So, how many staff were here last
night?
54
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,280
RUSSIAN ACCENT: All.
55
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,320
Except Mr and Mrs Velverdi.
56
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,840
Butler. Housekeeper.
57
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,680
On dirty week in Saunton Sands.
58
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,080
It's English phrase for sexy
holiday.
59
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,920
Although why British must make
holiday to have sex...
60
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,840
So, when did you last see Tim?
61
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:18,040
Yesterday night, 9pm, I bring warm
milk and sing lullaby.
62
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,080
Always Old Blue his favourite, it's
about a dog.
63
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,840
When I reach chorus, he join in.
64
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,760
A singing dog?
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00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,200
Dogs cannot sing.
66
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,480
I have these.
67
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,760
And this morning?
68
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,240
This morning, I arrive 6.30 with
breakfast.
69
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:39,960
Monday is truffle Kobe beef, but
door open and he's gone.
70
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,640
Mr Velverdi be very angry on return.
71
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,000
How did the door get opened?
72
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,240
He is very clever dog.
73
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,960
We move handle...
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00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,520
..he jump higher.
75
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,040
So, it's not the first time he's
done a runner, then?
76
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,840
He's a bolter all right.
77
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,920
Favourite game's playing hide and
seek with the staff.
78
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,880
The outside doors are always locked
and we exercise in here.
79
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,880
An individual canine fitness
programme,
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00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,600
personally structured to his
physical needs.
81
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,120
What's wrong with a good walk?
82
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,560
Yeah, because you love a good walk.
83
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,280
He's a right little Houdini's why.
84
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,640
Only time he doesn't try and slip
his lead is at the cemetery
85
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,400
where the old man's buried.
86
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,560
We take him once a week to lay
flowers.
87
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,200
Could he still be in the house?
88
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,840
Not a chance.
89
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:29,600
We went through the place with a
fine-tooth comb.
90
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,920
We know all his little hiding
places.
91
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,680
And he always comes out when he's
hungry.
92
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,880
So, how do you think he got out of
the house?
93
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,000
Maybe someone left the door open
while we were searching?
94
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,280
Do you know why he ran away?
95
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:43,640
He's an ingrat chien.
96
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,720
I'm an animal stylist of
international reputation.
97
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,040
Not that he shows the slightest
appreciation.
98
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,480
What?
99
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,160
- There.
- Right.
100
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,520
- Oh, he bit you. He bit him.
- Oh!
101
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,400
He developed an aversion to
diamante.
102
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,400
Before this, I was with a chicken in
Monaco.
103
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,880
He had more style in a single tail
feather
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00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,480
than this inelegant mongrel.
105
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,400
How many more of them?
106
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,800
- I'm beginning to see why he ran away.
- Sebastian.
107
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,200
You had any luck?
108
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,720
Not a whisker.
109
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,960
I have checked all local veterinary
practices,
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00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,400
animal hospitals and pet rescue
centres and there's nothing
111
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,600
on the lost dogs website.
112
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,240
- Have you checked the dog pound?
- No.
113
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,320
But, rest assured, I am on it.
114
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:46,000
Oh, and, just asking, but if we find
him,
115
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,840
I do get an employee's cut of the
reward money?
116
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,440
- Of course you...
- No.
117
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,920
We'll discuss it later.
118
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,560
So, where to next?
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00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,280
His master's grave.
120
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,320
- Backwards!
- I didn't mean to, did I?!
121
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,360
Do you know the difference between
reverse and first?
122
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,480
Just stop. Just stop,
Frank, you're not driving!
123
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,840
A crematorium with a difference in
that it allows owners
124
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,280
to be buried alongside their pets.
125
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,440
As well as dogs and cats, we also
cater for snakes,
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00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,520
amphibians, poultry and fish.
127
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,040
Mr Athenaeus was a benefactor and
patron of our ethos...
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00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,400
..and chose us as his final resting
place.
129
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,000
When the time comes,
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00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,400
Tim will be scattered beside him.
131
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,720
We were wondering if he might show
up here?
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00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,200
It's possible.
133
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,920
One of our most regular visitors.
134
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,440
Every week, without fail,
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00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,160
he comes to lay flowers.
136
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:57,080
It breaks one's heart to watch him
lying on his master's grave.
137
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,000
Like Greyfriars Bobby.
138
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,360
Not a happy chappy, then, eh?
139
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,880
Quite bereft.
140
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,080
Poor chap developed a lick granuloma
141
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,360
on his paw caused by depression and
had to be referred
142
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,880
to our animal psychologist.
143
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:20,040
If anyone has insight into the
working of Tim's mind,
144
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,400
it would be Ms Carter.
145
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,760
- Could we talk to her?
- She only works here one day a week.
146
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:30,680
The rest of the time she's a vet at
the Lord Norfolk Rescue Centre.
147
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,480
DOGS BARK
148
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,880
He was tied in a sack and thrown in
the river.
149
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,160
Who would do something like that?
150
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,640
The extent of human savagery to
animals has long ceased
151
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:41,720
to surprise me.
152
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,960
OK, sweetheart, it will all be over
soon.
153
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,240
Hang on, that's not...? You're not
going to...?
154
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,960
Intravenous antibiotics.
155
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,480
OK, sweetheart.
156
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,120
MEOW
157
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,480
You wanted to know about Tim.
158
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,760
Yeah, we believe he's one of your
patients?
159
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,880
Tim was referred exhibiting signs of
depression,
160
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,360
brought on by the death of his owner
and subsequent change in lifestyle.
161
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,680
Change?
162
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,800
Mr Athenaeus treated Tim like a
dog.
163
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,120
A situation that would have
continued if not for three
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00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,720
little words in the wording of the
will.
165
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:19,760
I love you?
166
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,240
"As would I."
167
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:23,680
That Tim be cared for as he would.
168
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,240
Of course, he never imagined they'd
take him literally.
169
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,120
So, all the pampering was because of
the will?
170
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,920
Nature turns into revolt when gold
becomes her object.
171
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,720
Tim's a dog, not a human.
172
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,200
Is it any wonder he rebelled and ran
away?
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00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,080
Hello, Luella Shakespeare.
174
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,760
Oh, hello, Mr Gonzalo.
175
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,680
OK.
176
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,200
We'll be right there.
177
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,560
It appears he didn't run away after
all.
178
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,240
I've received a text from a withheld
number.
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00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:06,040
£200,000, in used notes, to be
placed in a bin
180
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,000
by the bandstand at noon tomorrow.
181
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,400
Like you could just get hold of that
kind of cash and that...
182
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,480
I've already spoken to the bank.
183
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,520
I don't like it. It's too easy.
184
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,240
And what's to stop them from just
keeping him and then upping the ransom?
185
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,960
Tim's life is not mine to negotiate.
186
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,640
Contractually, and legally, I have
no option.
187
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,200
Right, we need to stake out the drop
point,
188
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,360
wait till they pick up the money and
tail them.
189
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,000
Hopefully, they'll lead us to Tim.
190
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,160
If you think that's for the best.
191
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,480
And the next question is, how did
they get in and out of
192
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,400
a house with no sign of a break in?
193
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,360
Have you got any CCTV?
194
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,440
The exterior and grounds only,
but it's already been checked.
195
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,080
- They must have missed something.
- Mm.
196
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,920
We need to take a look at the
footage.
197
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,560
So, when you said, "We need to take
a look at this footage,"
198
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,320
you actually meant me?
199
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,880
- Well, you're more suited to it than me.
- In what way?
200
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,920
Well, you know, you've got one of
those weird brains, haven't you?
201
00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,600
That was a compliment, by the way.
202
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,560
Which is why you're single!
203
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,840
- What do you think this shadow is here?
- No idea.
204
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,480
Which leaves us with sweet Fanny
Arkwright to go on.
205
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,000
Leaves.
206
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,560
Lea-a-aves!
207
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,160
No leaves...
208
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,200
..leaves.
209
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,080
Leaves, leaves, leaves, leaves...
210
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,480
No leaves. Leaves. No leaves.
211
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,680
- Leaves!
- Yeah, all right, I get it.
212
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:30,000
This footage has been tampered with
so everything between 23.23 and 4.17
213
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,560
is taken from another night!
214
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,360
Well, the dognappers would never
have time to do that.
215
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,080
Which means...
216
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,320
..there was someone on the inside.
217
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,400
My money's on Wayne McKenzie.
218
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,240
Before he was a personal canine
trainer,
219
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,880
he worked as a security guard.
220
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,240
Ah.
221
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,200
Well, if anyone knows how to fiddle
with the CCTV,
222
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,640
then, it's him, isn't it?
223
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,600
I think we need to take a closer
look at Mr Bondi Beach.
224
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,960
Can I bring my binoculars?
225
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,200
No, you won't need them.
226
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,720
Ooh, there we go.
227
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,440
Package is dropped.
228
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,280
PHONE: Ajay Taxis.
229
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,320
Ajay?
230
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,600
Yeah, erm...
231
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,360
Park, back to the office.
232
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,920
Yeah, on the company account.
233
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,520
Gloria?
234
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:36,720
Suits you!
235
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,520
A lie, a wicked lie!
236
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,240
Are you looking for somebody?
237
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,280
No.
238
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,040
Yes.
239
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,680
Stupid.
240
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,360
Kent and I always took a walk at
this time and I keep
241
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,360
expecting him to come bounding up
with a stick,
242
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,040
or sloping out of the river covered
in mud.
243
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,040
I'm sorry.
244
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,800
I just feel like part of me's
missing.
245
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,840
Oh...
246
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,520
That's a bigger birthday cake than
I've ever had.
247
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,280
Poor little rich dog.
248
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,720
There's definitely no love lost
between him and the rest
249
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,520
of the staff, is there?
250
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,360
Perhaps they don't like being
dogsbodies!
251
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,680
Are you going to do that all day?
252
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,160
Probably, yeah.
253
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,360
Clear the area!
254
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,360
Move, now! Police! Move, now!
255
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,720
Armed police! Clear the area! Now!
256
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,360
Clear the area!
257
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,600
Get the hell back, Frank!
258
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,840
A member of the public just called
in a suspicious package in that bin.
259
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,120
What?!
260
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,760
It's not suspicious.
261
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,640
We put it there.
262
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,560
Abort! Abort!
263
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,680
Abort! Abort. Abort.
264
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,840
So, what's in it, then?
265
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,560
Er, yeah, it's 200,000 in used
notes.
266
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,320
A £1 million mongrel?
267
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,640
Er, £320 million actually.
268
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,400
And you didn't report it because...?
269
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,560
Well, the bit where they said, "No
police or the dog dies."
270
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,960
Tim's safety is of paramount
concern.
271
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,600
Have you any idea how much an
operation like this costs?
272
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,960
And as for you...
273
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,040
Oh, wait, hang on, let's not blame
us, here.
274
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,000
Really, we should be blaming an
over-vigilant member of the public.
275
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,160
These persons were acting under my
instructions.
276
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,520
I take full responsibility.
277
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,720
I should charge you for wasting
police time.
278
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,800
Placing £200,000 in a public waste
bin may be foolhardy,
279
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,960
but it is not in contravention of
any law.
280
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,520
Well, if you wish to dispute it,
please, feel free to contact my
281
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,160
firm's criminal department.
282
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,200
That won't be necessary.
283
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,320
£200,000 ransom drop for a dog...
284
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,760
Yeah, that's novel!
285
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,200
Even for you, Frank!
286
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,800
Does this put Tim's safety at risk?
287
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:22,920
Possibly.
288
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,320
I mean, the drop was chaos, the
police got involved.
289
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,520
We just have to hope the kidnappers
get back in touch.
290
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,000
And, in the meantime, we should
really try and track down
291
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,920
whoever's working for them on
the inside.
292
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,520
Er, no, I don't think so, thank you.
293
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,480
The best-laid schemes.
294
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,600
On the bright side, those background
checks on Wayne McKenzie...
295
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,960
Privacy settings on all his social
media,
296
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,600
so I sent him a friend request.
297
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,960
I am never refused!
298
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,400
Anyhoo, it seems Wayne turned 30 a
couple of days ago,
299
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,200
had a bit of a party.
300
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,080
Oh, look! Aw, good for him!
301
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,960
But look where he held it.
302
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,880
While the butler's away, the mice,
they do play.
303
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,640
I'd better go and have a word with
him. Er, alone.
304
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,320
I think this is a job for bad cop.
305
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,880
I can do bad cop!
306
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,640
I wouldn't say it's your natural métier.
307
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,960
We had a party.
308
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,720
What's wrong with that?
309
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:32,600
Well, I tell you what, why don't we
ask your boss, eh?
310
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,920
Mr Velverdi.
311
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,080
Velverdi? Wellworthy.
312
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,240
Wellworthy, him, yes!
313
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,000
Because he's coming back off holiday
in a couple of days, isn't he?
314
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,080
No.
315
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,520
All socialising is strictly
forbidden on premises.
316
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,160
We lose jobs.
317
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,520
Ah.
318
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,240
So...
319
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:56,280
..you turn off the CCTV and, while
you're...
320
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,960
..carousing,
321
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,800
someone sneaks in and takes the dog.
322
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,160
We weren't to know.
323
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,480
- Who was at this party?
- Just staff.
324
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,720
Aah.
325
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,120
Anyone else know about it?
326
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:10,520
Of course not. Look, we just wanted
some fun.
327
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,440
You've no idea what this job's like.
328
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,440
Waiting hand and foot on a bleedin'
mongrel?
329
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,400
Are you going to report us?
330
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,600
Oh, let's just...
331
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,040
..wait and see if he turns up.
332
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,400
And you're sure it's Tim?
333
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,000
I'm afraid I was unable to look.
334
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,960
Miss Carter identified him.
335
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,000
Have we your permission to transport
the loved one?
336
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,560
Yes.
337
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,360
Thank you, Mr Baxter.
338
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:25,080
Rest assured, he will receive the
very best
339
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,880
that money can provide.
340
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,080
His final ensemble...
341
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,880
..along a Gothic theme.
342
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,800
I'm thinking leather and jet.
343
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,000
Poor Tim!
344
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,440
Poor us!
345
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,120
That's 25K down the drain!
346
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,800
Oh, you're all heart, Frank!
347
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,200
Kidnapper very stupid.
348
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,280
Why kill golden moose?
349
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,120
Why're you asking me?
350
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,720
The police got involved.
351
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,680
If it's an organised gang of dog
thieves,
352
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,560
perhaps it's a warning to others.
353
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,200
It could have been an accident.
354
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,160
I see no signs of trauma.
355
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,880
It's possible he was sedated and
they miscalculated the dosage.
356
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,280
Could you do a postmortem?
357
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,840
There will be no postmortem.
358
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,120
Tim suffered enough indignity in life,
without being further subjected in death.
359
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,400
No, he will be cremated and
scattered next to his master,
360
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,440
in accordance with his will.
361
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,080
Could we have a quick word?
362
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,520
It's...
363
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:27,800
It's just we're wondering about
the staff, because we do know
364
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,560
that the kidnapper had inside help.
365
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,440
Then it's a matter for the police.
366
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,640
My firm's obligation ended with
Tim's death, as does yours.
367
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,240
You're welcome to the funeral, when
you can present me
368
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,960
with your final invoice.
369
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,880
My sincere condolences for your
loss.
370
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,360
Thank you for coming.
371
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,200
Thank you.
372
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,520
- That's, er, your invoice.
- Oh.
373
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,000
It's quite a turnout.
374
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,160
Mr Athenaeus specified no expense
be spared in giving Tim
375
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,800
the send-off he deserves.
376
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,920
BELLS CHIME
377
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,720
CHOIR SINGS MOURNFULLY
378
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,680
WHISPERS: Remember! Social niceties!
379
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,840
Anatole France said, "Until one has
loved an animal,
380
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:24,560
"a part of one's soul remains
unawakened."
381
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:28,560
So it was with Mr Athenaeus
and Tim...
382
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:29,800
SOMEONE COUGHS
383
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,160
..an animal who provided a lonely
384
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:38,040
old man with unconditional love,
loyalty and companionship
385
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,040
in his twilight years.
386
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,080
♪ Had a dog and his name was Blue ♪
387
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,920
♪ Had a dog and his name was Blue ♪
388
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:56,320
♪ Crying, here, Blue ♪
389
00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,480
♪ You good dog, you ♪
390
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:04,160
♪ Blue chased a possum in a hollow log ♪
391
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,040
♪ Blue chased a possum in a hollow log ♪
392
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,680
♪ Blue chased the possum in a hollow log ♪
393
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:19,760
♪ And you can tell from
that he was a good old dog ♪
394
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:25,640
♪ Crying, here, Blue ♪
395
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,200
♪ You good dog, you ♪
396
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:35,440
♪ Crying, here, Blue ♪
397
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,440
♪ You good dog, you... ♪
398
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,840
May your spirit
go in peace to the light.
399
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,120
♪ I said, here... ♪
400
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,520
Stop!
401
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,800
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
402
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,640
Stop! Stop the coffin!
403
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,280
Stop the coffin, no!
404
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,920
No, stop the coffin!
405
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,480
Sorry.
406
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,000
Erm...
407
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,520
I can explain.
408
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,520
Can you?
409
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,080
Yes.
410
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,800
Erm...
411
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,280
It's OK, it's OK, Frank.
412
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,520
- Don't be sad.
- Oh...
413
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,480
FRANK FAKES TEARS
414
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,960
The thing is that, erm...
415
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,880
..Frank's dog passed away recently.
416
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,240
Passed away.
417
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,640
It was run over by a car.
418
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,960
And, erm...
419
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,600
And the thing is, Frank never really
got a chance
420
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,040
to say goodbye to...
421
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,520
Oh, he was a good dog, too!
422
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,880
I know, I know.
423
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,600
And so, today, this has all been
just a bit too much.
424
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,280
Let's get you home, shall we?
425
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,640
Come on.
426
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,000
FRANK WAILS DRAMATICALLY
427
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,800
Let it all out.
428
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,480
A-a-agh!
429
00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,840
Sorry.
430
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,600
What the hell were you doing?!
431
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,200
Trying to stay on the case.
432
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,200
I don't know which dog was in that
coffin,
433
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,520
but it wasn't Tim.
434
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:10,680
OK, see that?
435
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,840
That is a lick granuloma.
436
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,720
And?
437
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,760
And the dog they cremated didn't
have one.
438
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,000
What, meaning Tim might still be
alive?
439
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,960
Meaning the reward money...
440
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,560
..is still up for grabs.
441
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,360
Well, why didn't you tell Mr
Gonzalo?
442
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:32,920
Well, he wouldn't believe me.
443
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,440
Especially as they'd just
incinerated the proof.
444
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,840
Why fake Tim's death when no-one
stands to benefit?
445
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,760
Apart from a load of animal
charities he patronised?
446
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,640
Didn't Mr Baxter refer to Mr
Athenaeus as a patron
447
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,080
and benefactor? Yes, look!
448
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,600
Here, the Happier Hunting Ground
Bereavement Support Service.
449
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,640
Chair, Leonard Baxter esquire.
450
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:56,120
Who, coincidentally, has an
unlimited supply of canine corpses.
451
00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,000
320 million divided by 216 charities
is...
452
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,920
Is...
453
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,520
- A lot of money?
- A lot of money.
454
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:04,840
Sebastian! Sebastian!
455
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,120
Thank you for doing this.
456
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:10,520
I thought it might be a bit close to
the bone.
457
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,240
Any pun, on this occasion, entirely
unintentional.
458
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:16,680
Happy to help, sweetheart.
459
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,720
It saves sitting around moping.
460
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,440
And, who knows, this might be what
I'm looking for.
461
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,120
In the hour of your bereavement, may
I welcome you
462
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,480
to the Happier Hunting Ground,
Mrs...?
463
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,840
FAKES NORTHERN ACCENT: Bolton.
464
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,880
Vi Bolton.
465
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,720
VB Cargo, taking the hate out of
freight.
466
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,720
And this is my son...
467
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:38,760
..Kanya.
468
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,680
Say hello to the gentleman, Kanya.
469
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,000
NORTHERN ACCENT: You all right...
470
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,040
..chuck?
471
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,800
The Farewell Room, where you can
make a private goodbye
472
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,080
before entrusting your loved one to
us.
473
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,040
And, er, after he's been entrusted?
474
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,080
He'll rest in an ambient temperature
in our mortuary.
475
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,120
Frozen?
476
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:10,120
Preserved, fresh and intact, until
the final send-off.
477
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:14,880
We offer a full funeral package
including minister,
478
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,920
music and a wake for an
all-inclusive price
479
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,560
of £2,000.
480
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,320
Ahem, plus VAT.
481
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:27,000
After which you'll receive between
3.5% and 4.5% of your loved one's
482
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,760
body weight.
483
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:32,200
These can be turned into symbols of
remembrance.
484
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:41,840
Key rings, beads, silver-plated paw
print cufflinks.
485
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,400
Mmm, very nice.
486
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:50,280
We also have a tattooist, who will
mix a portion of your loved one's
487
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,040
ashes with ink, to create a more
permanent reminder.
488
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,320
Can I get a tattoo?
489
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,960
Not until you're 18.
490
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:03,920
And, for our most discerning
clients, which, if I may say so...
491
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:08,240
Shrouds don't have pockets, and,
"If you've got it, spend it", is my motto.
492
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:09,520
Quite.
493
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:16,040
In that case, for £15,000, we can
provide a magnificent
494
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,760
memorial diamond, made from your
loved one's ashes.
495
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,320
We'll take it.
496
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,280
- All of it?
- Apart from the tattoo.
497
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,160
And the cufflinks. We do have some
standards.
498
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,520
Kanya, you're crossing your legs.
499
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,920
Why don't you pop into the little
boys' room
500
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,960
while Mr Baxter and I crunch some
numbers?
501
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,600
SNAP OF CAMERA GLASSES
502
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,240
SNAP OF CAMERA GLASSES
503
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,480
SNAP OF CAMERA GLASSES
504
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,640
I hope to hear from you soon.
505
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,680
I'll be in touch.
506
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:58,720
Oh, there you are.
507
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,000
Say goodbye to the gentleman.
508
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,800
Goodbye to the gentleman.
509
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,880
Did you get what you wanted,
sweetheart?
510
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,040
Yes, thank you.
511
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:12,200
- And you?
- A quote for £20,000.
512
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,440
I don't know what's wrong with a
shoebox in the garden
513
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,480
and a bit of a cry.
514
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:21,640
Kent's a little large for a shoebox
and you don't have a garden.
515
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,960
There's got to be something better
than this.
516
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,240
Tim has a deceased...
517
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:32,960
..doggelganger.
518
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,960
Stop it! I swear, the next person to
make a dog joke...
519
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,160
- No, I... I mean it.
- OK.
520
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:43,440
Rex, a seven-year-old lurcher cross,
who died three weeks ago from,
521
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,240
suffice to say, natural causes.
522
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:49,920
Delivered to the Happier Hunting
Ground where he was deep-frozen
523
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:53,480
before being cremated and turned
into a memorial bracelet.
524
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,240
But Baxter kept him in the freezer
525
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,480
and that's the dog we cremated
yesterday?
526
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,200
But that doesn't make sense.
527
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,560
Why would somebody steal Tim and
then fake his death
528
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:03,080
using a different dog?
529
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,400
I don't know, but if Tim's alive
Baxter might lead us to him.
530
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,440
And he lives above the shop, so he
should be easy to stake out.
531
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,640
He that is thy friend indeed,
532
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,600
He will help thee in thy need.
533
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,400
If thou sorrow, he will weep.
534
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,840
If thou wake, he cannot sleep.
535
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:33,800
Thus, of every grief in heart,
536
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,800
He with thee doth bear a part.
537
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,240
Have you ever had a dog?
538
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,120
Just the one, Blue.
539
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,720
Died in a hit-and-run.
540
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:00,960
Nah, it's too much responsibility.
541
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,720
It's like having a kid, but it won't
look after you in your old age.
542
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,600
I always wanted a dog.
543
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:08,640
Or a cat.
544
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,920
But Mother was allergic to dander.
545
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:13,600
Dander?
546
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,160
Got a chameleon, though.
547
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:16,840
- Called it Karma.
- You don't say?
548
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,280
You know?
549
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,920
Like, as in Culture Club.
550
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,000
- Mmm.
- Yeah.
551
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:24,040
Oh, those were the days!
552
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,400
Let's play, "What Dog Am I?"
553
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,840
- Let's not!
- Oh, come on!
554
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,240
Come on, it's fun. Go on.
555
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:33,600
So...
556
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,920
If I was a dog, what breed would I
be?
557
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,400
- No idea.
- Yeah, you do, go on.
558
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,720
Everybody looks like a dog.
559
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:40,800
I don't.
560
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,000
Hello!
561
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,040
Yes!
562
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:45,120
- Old English sheepdog!
- What?!
563
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,800
Yeah! All big and shaggy, all that
salt-and-pepper hair.
564
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:48,880
Ha!
565
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,040
So, go on, then.
566
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,760
I know what you're thinking.
567
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,440
- I'm not thinking anything.
- Yeah, you are.
568
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,880
Everybody says it, so...
569
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:57,920
Go on.
570
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,360
Go on, say it.
571
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,640
- Poodle.
- Golden retriever...
572
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,080
A poodle?
573
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,360
A poodle?!
574
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,600
What do you mean, I look like a
poodle?!
575
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,200
Well, because of the...
576
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,800
..the froufrou.
577
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:13,080
The frou... The frou... Why would
you say poodle?! Well... Frou?!
578
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:14,720
Thanks! Thanks a lot, Frank.
579
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,480
"Oh, morning, Frizzy Poodle Frou!"
580
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,520
I didn't want to play this game in
the first place!
581
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,920
All right, you're a golden
retriever.
582
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,040
Happy now?
583
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,560
No, it's too late, isn't it, now?
584
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,440
PHONE RINGS
585
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,880
- Morning, campers!
- Mmm.
586
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,360
Did you get out of the wrong side of
the bed?
587
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:38,800
Spit it out, will you?
588
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,120
Hmm.
589
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,040
Leonard Baxter, aged 53, no record
of any marriage,
590
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,640
clean credit check, no criminal
convictions.
591
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,840
- Well, that was a waste of time.
- Don't mention it!
592
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,520
Anything else I can help you with?
593
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,240
- No.
- Yes.
594
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,960
Sebastian?
595
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,600
If I was a dog, what breed would I
be?
596
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,560
Golden retriever.
597
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,680
Absolutely no hesitation, there,
whatsoever.
598
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,560
Baxter never leaves this place.
599
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,040
I'm beginning to wonder if we're
barking up the wrong tree.
600
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,360
- Eh, barking up the wrong...
- Yeah.
601
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,160
I'm not in the mood now, it's not
funny.
602
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,200
..tree.
603
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,000
LNRC...
604
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:27,640
Hmm.
605
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,920
Ooh!
606
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:35,640
Baxter is not the only person who's
got access to canine corpses, is he?
607
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,080
Dog B's owners were referred to
Antigone Carter
608
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,280
for bereavement counselling.
609
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:41,520
Look, I reckon...
610
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:50,400
..that this ransom video was made at
the Lord Norfolk Rescue Centre.
611
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,120
Can you see that?
612
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,120
Don't just sit there, drive!
613
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,000
DIALLING TONE
614
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,280
Mr Gonzalo, it's Frank Hathaway.
615
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,080
Yeah, we've got some new
information.
616
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,400
Could you meet us at the Lord
Norfolk Rescue Centre,
617
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,440
in Old Town?
618
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:12,880
Yeah.
619
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,440
DOGS BARKING
620
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,760
Oh, Miss Carter.
621
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,040
Where is the dog?
622
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,000
At last count, we have 45.
623
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,200
Was there one in particular you had
in mind?
624
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,720
Well, we know the dog you cremated
yesterday was a seven-year-old
625
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,200
lurcher cross named Rex.
626
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,040
This was taken here.
627
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,640
It's very clever, hiding a dog in
plain sight.
628
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,600
And why on Earth would I do such a
thing?
629
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,600
That is a very good question.
630
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,120
It's nonsensical!
631
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,440
Well, in that case, you won't mind
if we make a search?
632
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,920
Be my guest.
633
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:45,840
Oh, look!
634
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:48,840
Hello!
635
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,600
Hello!
Ooh!
636
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:55,880
Sorry.
637
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,120
You appear to be one missing.
638
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,680
Thibault. A Staffordshire Bull
Terrier.
639
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,560
He was re-homed this morning.
640
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:07,600
Oh, really?
641
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:12,280
Well, how do you explain this, then?
642
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,520
Do you remember the portrait, Frank?
643
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,640
It's Tim's, isn't it?
644
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:20,280
Miss Carter?
645
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,000
Yes. It's Tim's.
646
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,600
The staff donated all his belongings
to the centre when he died.
647
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:25,720
Oh, of course.
648
00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:27,320
You have my apologies.
649
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,760
We've taken up too much of your
time.
650
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:55,480
Before we go, could we just take
a look through here?
651
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:56,520
Thanks.
652
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,800
This is from here.
653
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,080
That shadow is caused by that light
shining through that sticker
654
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:18,440
onto the floor. Can you see that?
655
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,280
You call that evidence?
656
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,240
A court of law would not.
657
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:24,960
As to why a distinguished veterinary
surgeon such as Ms Carter
658
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,200
would kidnap Tim and bury a dead dog
in his place,
659
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,720
the idea is ludicrous!
660
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:29,880
And what about this place?
661
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,840
Another beneficiary of Tim's will, I
presume?
662
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,080
No, you presume wrong, as neither
Ms Carter nor
663
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,960
this institution stands to gain so
much as a penny from Tim's estate.
664
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,480
I can only apologise for such
unwarranted accusations
665
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,800
and reiterate these persons are no
longer engaged by me.
666
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,200
Continue to pursue the matter and I
shall be forced to regard
667
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:49,920
this as harassment and take action
accordingly!
668
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,080
I was sure we were right.
669
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,120
Did you see her face?
670
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,200
I know we were.
671
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,960
Staffordshire Bull Terrier, my
backside!
672
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:08,560
Well, where's Tim, then?
673
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,880
I mean, it's not like she knew we
were coming and she had time
674
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:12,000
to hide him.
675
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,560
Unless she did know we were coming.
676
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:15,680
How?
677
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:16,880
The only person we told...
678
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,320
- ...was Mr Gonzalo.
- Gonzalo.
679
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,080
Not so fast, Speedy Gonzalo!
680
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,200
You two were in it together, weren't
you?
681
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,800
Did you offer her a cut of the
money?
682
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,000
Money?!
683
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,840
320 million, which was yours to
distribute.
684
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,240
- No-one would notice if a few million went astray.
- Oh!
685
00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,120
And you told Ms Carter we were on
our way
686
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,320
so she could hide Tim.
687
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,440
I know he's here somewhere.
688
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,640
You have already searched the place
and ascertained he is not!
689
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,320
Well, maybe we didn't look properly.
690
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,160
♪ I had a dog and his name was Blue ♪
691
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:52,320
BOTH: ♪ I had a dog
and his name was Blue ♪
692
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,000
♪ I had a dog and his name was Blue ♪
693
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,360
♪ I bet you five dollars
he's a good one, too ♪
694
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,120
THEY HOWL
695
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:09,280
A DOG BARKS NEARBY
696
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,360
I can explain.
697
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:21,440
We're all ears.
698
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:23,960
Hello!
699
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,400
Ms Carter and I often talked of
Tim's predicament.
700
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,720
I counselled Rex's owners and they
were struck
701
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,000
by the similarity.
702
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,680
So, I switched his corpse with one
from here
703
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,840
while we waited for the right
opportunity.
704
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,480
Which came when I heard the staff
talking about having a party,
705
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,840
that they would switch off the CCTV
while it was taking place.
706
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,120
It seemed too good an opportunity to
miss.
707
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:46,880
320 million. I bet it did!
708
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:50,040
The trust is rigorously audited, it
would be quite impossible for me
709
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,720
to embezzle from it.
710
00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:53,160
So, why did you kidnap him, then?
711
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,360
Don't you see?
712
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,480
It wasn't kidnap, it was a rescue.
713
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,760
SINGING OUTSIDE: ♪ Happy
birthday to you... ♪
714
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,680
Tim can't see a mansion,
715
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,400
only the bars of a cage,
716
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,080
locked up and isolated.
717
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:08,720
CHEERING FROM THE PARTY
718
00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:11,280
Ah, there you are, dear fellow!
719
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,120
Hello, Tim.
720
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,560
Come on, boy, come on!
721
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,600
Let's get you out of here, come on,
let's go!
722
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,200
That's it, that's it.
723
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,000
Got the rabbit!
724
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,480
We couldn't stand by and watch him
being tortured.
725
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,200
You tipped off the police about the
ransom drop?
726
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,960
I'm afraid so.
727
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:28,760
We had to make it look like Tim was
dead
728
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:33,520
in order to get probate, so
distribution should undo excess.
729
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,560
The money would go to worthy
charities,
730
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,800
helping thousands, if not millions,
of animals.
731
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:42,720
And Tim can be found a happy home
where he can lead a normal life.
732
00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:44,000
Where do we go from here?
733
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,720
Well, that is up to you.
734
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:51,560
If you report us to the police he'll
be sent back and we will both
735
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,720
face lengthy prison sentences.
736
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,560
Oh...
737
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,880
We're not going to report you to the
police.
738
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,160
Are we, Frank?
739
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,960
Well, hold your horses.
740
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,080
There is the small matter of the
reward money.
741
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:05,560
Ah.
742
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:07,320
Stumbling block.
743
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:11,800
Tim would have to be declared alive
and be sent back to Miranda Park
744
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,560
for the rest of his natural life.
745
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,560
Oh, cheer up, Frank!
746
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,840
You made the right decision.
747
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,720
It's 25 grand!
748
00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:32,960
And poor Tim would spend the rest of
his life being tortured.
749
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,520
Kobe beef for breakfast is hardly
torture,
750
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,640
and it's 25 grand!
751
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,840
What price his pound of flesh?
752
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:41,720
£400 sterling.
753
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,440
Well, I'm happy to forego my share.
754
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,320
- Me too.
- You didn't have a share.
755
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,800
Well, then, you definitely made the
right decision!
756
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,720
So, what happens to him now?
757
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,680
He's a stray from the Lord Norfolk
and he needs a foster home.
758
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,360
Just for a few days.
759
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:08,600
You're very sweet, and I know what
you're trying to do,
760
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,720
but it's too soon. I'm not ready
yet.
761
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,000
I understand.
762
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,200
Oh, poor little thing!
763
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,880
It looks like he needs a hug.
764
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,920
Oh!
765
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:28,440
Well, if there's absolutely nobody
else...
766
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,720
Just for a few days, mind.
767
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,120
Don't say a word.
768
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,800
Red setter...
769
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:04,920
..and an Afghan.
770
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,080
- Poodle!
- Poodle!
771
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:11,960
Ooh, check out the jacket on that
Scottish terrier!
772
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,400
You two are making this up!
773
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,480
All right, him.
774
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,480
- Bulldog.
- Bulldog. Ah!
775
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,160
Oh, come on, you've got to admit it,
Frank. We're right.
776
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:23,840
Gloria!
777
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,280
How's, erm...?
778
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:26,560
Jim.
779
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,400
Seb's suggestion.
780
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,640
And it suits him, he seems to answer
to it.
781
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,880
Gloria, if I was a dog, what breed
would I be?
782
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,800
- Golden retriever.
- Ah!
783
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,240
Thank you!
784
00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:39,440
Ah, someone looks happy.
785
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,840
Oh, we're getting on like a house on
fire.
786
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:45,160
And he seems a fellow Joan Baez fan.
787
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:49,240
Bit of a picky eater, mind you,
which is odd for a stray.
788
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,880
Still, I wouldn't be without him.
789
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,920
Worth his weight in gold.
790
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:57,480
You don't know the half!
57306
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