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Previously on Miracle Workers
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You want to destroy the entire world?
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Yeah. But that's not why
I brought you in here.
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This here is a restaurant.
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What? I call it... Lazy Susan's.
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I already have a prototype for the claw.
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All we have to do is
get these two to kiss.
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Friday? Friday.
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Yes!
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Yes!
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Is that enough time?
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Just barely.
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This is it.
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The big day.
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If I don't land these investors...
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Lazy Susan's doesn't stand a chance.
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Who you pitching to?
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A couple of real power players.
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Mom, Dad?
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I'm coming home.
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Da-doo-di-da
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Da-doo-di-da
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Da-doo-di-da
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Da-doo-di-da
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♪ Da-da-da, di-da
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No, buddy. No, you listen to me, okay?
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What don't you understand
about supply and "command"?
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I mean, it's easy.
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I want those numbers going up, not down.
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And if you can't... Sorry.
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If you can't put... Then
it's your ass, all right?
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I-I want... Yes.
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At the end of the quarter,
I want those numbers
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on my desk, yesterday.
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Right.
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We're sorry.
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Wow.
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Sorry. Work stuff.
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Just, if I leave for
a minute, it's, uh...
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Anyway, hi.
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Hey, there, kiddo. It's been a while.
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Bring it in.
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Mom, Dad.
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Okay.
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All right, guys, how's it looking?
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All good here. Sam showered today.
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Good here, too. Laura's picked
out her least-stained shirt.
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Craig, have they finalized
their plans for the date?
49
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Yes. They are going to the cinema.
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That is perfect!
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Dark theater, sitting
next to each other...
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It doesn't get more romantic than that.
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What are they seeing? Oh. This.
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The sewer.
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Tunnels filled with feces.
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Rats and slime.
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The stench of human waste.
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Descend with me into
this nightmare world
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of our own making...
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in 3-D.
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Yeah, they're not gonna
kiss watching that.
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What do we do?
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We gotta get them on a better date.
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So, how's your planet, son?
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It's going great,
Dad. Thanks for asking.
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We just celebrated another
million years without war.
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Wow. Somebody's going
after his mom's record.
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And, sweetheart,
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I heard you're doing an
amazing job running your planet.
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Well, you know, it's a utopia,
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so it kind of runs itself.
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Of course.
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Me too.
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What?
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Oh, uh, yeah, I'm
also doing really good.
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Oh, right.
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Your... planet.
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Uh, how is Turd?
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It's... It's "Earth."
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Earth. Right. Sorry.
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Earth.
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My apologies.
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It's going really great.
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Thanks for asking.
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But... ahem...
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I've actually been working
on a whole new project.
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Here we go. All right.
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Mom, Dad, it's pitch time.
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Come on.
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Okay, okay, new pitch.
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Uh, how about a romantic carriage ride?
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Nope. Sam's afraid of horses.
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Doesn't like their eyes.
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All right, then, uh, what
about an eyeless horse?
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We get some crows, right?
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Wait, where are you getting crows from?
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It's Earth. Anywhere.
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We get them to swoop down
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and peck the eyes out of the horse.
100
00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,126
No, crows only peck eyes
out of dead things, though.
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00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,549
So unless you're gonna
get a dead horse...
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Then I'll get a dead horse!
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Have you guys ever
thought about a Kiss Cam?
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Rosie. That's brilliant!
105
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Sorry. What... W-What is a "Kiss Cam"?
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Oh, it's this thing they
do at sporting events.
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They find two people in the stands,
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point a camera at them,
and they have to kiss.
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There's a basketball game tonight.
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The arena is in Sam and
Laura's neighborhood.
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Oh, okay. Sorry. Are we
all... We all positive
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this is the best idea, just
putting them on a massive screen
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in front of loads of people?
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Let's make it happen.
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Yeah.
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00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:04,510
And on this island, there
are dozens of capable chefs
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making all sorts of foods...
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pizza, pasta, even French, right?
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And when you see a food you like,
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you grab it with this long claw.
121
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And it all goes down...
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at Lazy Susan's.
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I don't know how they put up with this.
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Mom's on a lot of pills.
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Whoo!
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00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:41,326
Okay, Nelson, I think we've got it,
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but let's just get a few more takes,
128
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:44,290
just to be on the safe si... Wow.
129
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,150
So, I guess what's
left is to talk numbers?
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00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:50,290
Well, uh, before your father
and I invest in this... thing,
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we need to talk in private. Yes.
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00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:54,630
Ohh! I see. You want to
get together your offer.
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00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,229
All right.
134
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,146
But if you think you're
gonna take more than 49%,
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you got another thing coming.
136
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,710
All right.
137
00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:05,310
I was just kidding.
138
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:06,510
I love you guys.
139
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,610
Love you.
140
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,280
Hey, Sam. So, this is weird,
141
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,280
but it looks like the theater
we were gonna go to tonight
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is on fire.
143
00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:18,950
Is everyone okay?
144
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No. A lot of people died.
145
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Oh, God. So, is there anything else
146
00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:24,289
you might want to do tonight?
147
00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:26,490
This is gonna sound weird, but, uh,
148
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two tickets to a basketball
game landed on my head.
149
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,370
What? Yeah, I was eating lunch,
150
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,300
and a crow dropped them on me.
151
00:06:33,370 --> 00:06:35,300
They look like pretty good seats.
152
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:36,640
Okay.
153
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,310
Should we do that?
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00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:39,380
Sure.
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Nice.
156
00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:44,650
What? - I just...
157
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How can we even be sure they're
going to end up on camera?
158
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,296
All right, there's gonna be dozens
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00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,626
of other couples going to this game.
160
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:52,520
Actually, there's...
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212. - Right.
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00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,036
So there's virtually no chance
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00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:56,340
of Sam and Laura getting picked.
164
00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:57,372
Craig's right.
165
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We need to cull the herd. What?
166
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:03,060
We take out all the other
couples, by any means necessary.
167
00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:04,470
Good job, Craig. - Amazing work.
168
00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,870
- This is really great.
- Thanks?
169
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:09,070
Thank you.
170
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:12,940
The good news is that
we are very proud of you.
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00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:18,280
And we love that you have... ideas.
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- Great.
- That being said,
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with the market being what it is,
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we just don't think now is a good time
175
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for us to invest in anything.
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What about them?
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You invest in their stuff all the time.
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00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,490
Well, uh...
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00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,830
we just think the concept
for your restaurant...
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might be difficult to execute.
181
00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:41,570
Oh, well, I mean, if you
have any notes at all,
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I mean, big or small,
I'm... I'm totally open.
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00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:47,779
Well, if you're asking for
notes, um, the "food claw"...
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Yeah, the claw stays.
I'm married to the claw.
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You lose the claw,
and you're compromising
186
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,580
the integrity of Lazy Susan's.
187
00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:54,780
I mean...
188
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"Get rid of the claw," she says.
189
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Anything else?
190
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All right, guys. Keep it up.
191
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Only a few couples left.
192
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Come on, baby.
193
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Nice work, Eliza.
194
00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:14,070
Aah!
195
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:15,800
Aah! Aah! No!
196
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,070
Ah! Great job, Rosie.
197
00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:20,680
I can't go to the game.
198
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:22,280
I have diarrhea.
199
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,280
Sanjay, gross.
200
00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:29,135
That wasn't me. That
guy just has diarrhea.
201
00:08:29,257 --> 00:08:30,277
Oh.
202
00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:32,619
Well, anyway, we're in great shape.
203
00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:35,160
Look.
204
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:37,230
Not as many people as I expected.
205
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:40,229
Yeah, looks like we have this entire row
206
00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:42,030
to ourselves. -
207
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,700
Maybe these are bad teams?
208
00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:46,100
That's okay.
209
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:48,770
Honestly, I don't know that
much about basketball anyway.
210
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,170
Me neither.
211
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,039
I was just gonna start
cheering for the team
212
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,039
that you started cheering for.
213
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,580
Wait. That was my plan, too.
214
00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:58,780
Cheers? Cheers.
215
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:02,780
Ahh.
216
00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:05,590
You know, I'm glad those
tickets fell on your head.
217
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:06,860
This is fun.
218
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,659
You're not bored?
219
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,459
I think you could have
taken me anywhere tonight,
220
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:11,859
and I wouldn't have been bored.
221
00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:13,636
No, okay. I think we should
disable the Kiss Camera.
222
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:16,000
Craig. No. They are
getting there on their own.
223
00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:17,306
They don't need any extra pressure.
224
00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:18,670
The Kiss Cam's gonna work.
225
00:09:18,740 --> 00:09:20,400
I mean, think about it.
226
00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:22,069
Put yourself in Sam's shoes.
227
00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:23,340
How so?
228
00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:26,140
Imagine you're, like, this lonely guy,
229
00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:28,340
not a lot of friends, socially awkward,
230
00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:29,880
everyone thinks you're weird.
231
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,410
Okay, I will imagine that.
232
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:35,080
And then one day, out of
the blue, this girl shows up,
233
00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:39,089
and you think she's the
coolest person you've ever met.
234
00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:41,689
Right, yes. And the more
you spend time with her,
235
00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:45,090
the more you realize
this girl kicks ass.
236
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,960
She's awesome. You really like her.
237
00:09:47,030 --> 00:09:49,630
Okay. And it builds, and it builds
238
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,430
until, one night, she's
sitting right next to you...
239
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,499
like, as close as I am to you right now.
240
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:57,140
Mm-hmm. And everyone's looking.
241
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,980
You'd go for it. Right?
242
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,640
Well, no, not necessarily.
243
00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:05,650
Not if I was unsure about
how she felt about me,
244
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,050
or was scared to death
of losing her as a friend,
245
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,850
and also pretty frightened
of her in general.
246
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,320
What? What?
247
00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:13,990
Anyway, let's put it to a vote.
248
00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:16,060
Um, all against.
249
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:18,660
All for.
250
00:10:18,730 --> 00:10:21,400
Okay, well, I suppose I have no choice
251
00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:22,646
but to accept the will of the group.
252
00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:24,400
This is a democracy, after all,
253
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:26,370
so, yeah, consider the matter settled.
254
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:28,339
- Craig!
- Whoa!
255
00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:29,610
- Hold on!
- What the
256
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,270
No! You're wrong! These
are two very shy people!
257
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,680
- Oh!
- I'm sorry.
258
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:38,150
I'm very sorry. That was unprofessional.
259
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,080
And I'm completely out of line.
260
00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:41,880
Frankly, I am ashamed of myself.
261
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:43,420
No! - Oh!
262
00:10:43,490 --> 00:10:45,090
- You open that cabinet!
- No!
263
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,550
- Yes.
- No, you'll ruin this!
264
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,960
Do not put me in there! No!
265
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:51,030
- Get him in.
- No! No, no!
266
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,900
Ah, you're making a huge mistake!
267
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,360
Let's get back to work.
268
00:10:56,370 --> 00:10:58,370
You guys, I... I
269
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,900
I-I don't get the hesitation, right?
270
00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:02,170
You love the concept.
271
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,569
And there's hardly any overhead.
272
00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:05,840
There's no tables, no waiters,
273
00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:07,579
no bathrooms, no walls...
274
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,450
Why aren't there any bathrooms?
275
00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:11,379
Well, because it's a lazy river.
276
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,120
So people would just...
277
00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:14,720
Yeah. They just go.
278
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:18,589
Son, I'm not sure this is for us.
279
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:19,720
Why?
280
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:22,789
It just seems like a...
a very ambitious project,
281
00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:23,860
and we're worried...
282
00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:26,730
That you might not be able to handle it.
283
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,330
Whoa.
284
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,270
Y-You don't think I can do this?
285
00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:35,470
You think I'm not... good enough?
286
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:38,009
You think there's
something wrong with me?
287
00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:39,270
No. No, sweetie,
288
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:40,940
that's not what we were saying at all!
289
00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:44,350
No, no, no, no. We... We...
We love the river restaurant.
290
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:45,950
Really?
291
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,150
Yep. Count us in, champ.
292
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,350
Okay, good!
293
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,619
Now, for the first 10
locations, I've budgeted...
294
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,890
- Are you kidding me?
- You're gonna bankroll this?!
295
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,420
He's very passionate about it.
296
00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:57,630
It... It seems unique.
297
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,500
That's just what you
said about the Earth.
298
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,700
Okay, wait. This is way
different from the Earth.
299
00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:03,700
Mom, it's not. It's the same thing.
300
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:06,230
Just another water circle
with people scrambling for food
301
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,700
and shitting everywhere!
302
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:08,770
Look.
303
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:13,180
Remember when he pitched this?
304
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,840
It was insane.
305
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:16,040
It makes no sense.
306
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,850
But we haaaad to be supportive
'cause he's the baby.
307
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,756
Yeah, let's just forget
that he flunked out of school
308
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:23,050
and write him a blank check
to start his own planet.
309
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,720
Hey, I started nine planets.
310
00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:27,436
Yeah, well, you only
got one of them to work.
311
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:29,060
Kids, that's enough.
312
00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:30,530
Your brother tried his best.
313
00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:31,790
That's what makes it so sad.
314
00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:33,330
You guys are being too harsh.
315
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,860
How bad can Turd possibly be?
316
00:12:35,870 --> 00:12:37,130
We'll tell you.
317
00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:43,540
Oh!
318
00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:45,140
Whoo!
319
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,550
What-What-What-What.
What the what?!
320
00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:00,890
It's time for the Jammin' 103 Kiss Cam!
321
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,330
Brought to you by T.J.
and Piggie In The Morning.
322
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,330
Ooh, there's a cozy-looking couple.
323
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,640
Ho-ho! A little shy, I guess.
324
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,500
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
325
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,370
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Come on. Kiss her.
326
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,910
Come on. Get it over with.
327
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:22,709
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
328
00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:24,450
Craig was right. They're choking.
329
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,750
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
330
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,820
You guys, it's gonna be fine, okay?
331
00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:35,360
Just relax. They're gonna do it.
332
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:36,666
Wait, what the hell is this now?!
333
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,690
Uh-oh. Look who's on the prowl!
334
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,760
Here comes a real stud, folks.
335
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:44,570
It's M.C. Dunks. Go get 'em, Dunks!
336
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,970
Looks like M.C. Dunks wants a smooch.
337
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,780
Damn it, M.C. Dunks! Get away from them.
338
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,580
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
339
00:13:56,650 --> 00:13:59,950
I said, "Get... away"!
340
00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:03,850
Oh!
341
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,519
Aah! Help!
342
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,648
Ohh! Oh, help! Oh!
343
00:14:07,673 --> 00:14:08,680
Oh! Oh, God.
344
00:14:08,705 --> 00:14:10,105
Oh. Aah! Hey, man.
345
00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,506
- What are you... What...
- Hey, you gotta help me.
346
00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,660
What are you talking about?!
347
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,685
- Oh, my...
- Help me!
348
00:14:13,704 --> 00:14:14,704
- What? Stop!
- Please!
349
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,300
- Aah!
- Oh!
350
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,870
M.C. Dunks is dead.
351
00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:24,610
He's dead!
352
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,010
They killed him.
353
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,480
Murderers!
354
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,080
- They're leaving the arena.
- It's over.
355
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,620
Explain cows.
356
00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:39,936
I don't want to do this anymore.
357
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,560
Tell Mom and Dad what a cow is.
358
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,090
It's like a big dog you can drink from.
359
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,430
And what's a dog?
360
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,900
A small cow you can be friends with.
361
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,300
Tell them about giraffes.
362
00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:52,570
What's a giraffe?
363
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,369
It's just a tall dog with...
364
00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:55,970
Louder. Speak up.
365
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,770
Tall dog with a leg for a neck.
366
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,710
What is going on? What is happening?
367
00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:04,250
Are... Are these real animals?
368
00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:06,850
You made all these things?
369
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,120
This is what you did with
the 4 grand we gave you?!
370
00:15:10,145 --> 00:15:11,165
T-T-That's it. I'm done.
371
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:13,190
I-I'm not talking about this anymore.
372
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:14,589
We're almost finished.
373
00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:17,460
Explain your pièce de résistance.
374
00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:18,860
Explain humans.
375
00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:21,060
Oh, come on, Ricky. Just stop it!
376
00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:22,199
You made your point.
377
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,200
These creatures live on his planet.
378
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:27,740
But only on the surface, because
he forgot to build the middle.
379
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,940
So the inside is just fire.
380
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:33,610
Anyway, these humans are born
nude... like, fully naked.
381
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,009
He gave them no instructions,
382
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,550
and they just do whatever they want.
383
00:15:36,610 --> 00:15:37,610
What do you mean?
384
00:15:37,611 --> 00:15:39,150
He gave them free will.
385
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:42,220
Son, is this true?
386
00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:44,150
Why would you do that?
387
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,090
I thought it would make them happy.
388
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,690
I thought, with all that freedom,
389
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,490
they... they could do great things.
390
00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:56,100
Instead, they... they
just mostly ended up...
391
00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,870
like me.
392
00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:01,600
Ah...
393
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:14,649
It was supposed to be better.
394
00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:28,230
♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs. Bucket
395
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,370
♪ You live on a shelf
396
00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:31,370
♪ One is wet, and one is dry
397
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,299
♪ And you are both my friends
398
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:35,500
♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs.... Hey.
399
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:37,240
So, um...
400
00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:39,980
I'm sorry we put you in the cabinet.
401
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,510
No, I'm... I'm sorry.
402
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,510
And, also, guys, I've
been thinking about it,
403
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,110
and you're absolutely right.
404
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,580
The Kiss Cam really is our best shot.
405
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,990
- It failed.
- Oh.
406
00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:54,260
I mean, m-maybe it's not all bad.
407
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,190
I mean, traumatic events
bring people together,
408
00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:58,390
so... so maybe Sam and
Laura can bond over this.
409
00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:00,400
Right? Maybe?
410
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:04,470
That was horrible.
411
00:17:04,530 --> 00:17:05,670
Yeah.
412
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,739
So, uh, I guess you want to go home now.
413
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,610
What do you mean?
414
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,739
Well, um, I don't know.
415
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,339
Because you just said
that you were having
416
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:16,540
a horrible time, so...
That's not what I said.
417
00:17:16,610 --> 00:17:18,549
Well, that's what it
sounded like you said.
418
00:17:18,550 --> 00:17:21,150
Okay, well, sounds like
you want to go home.
419
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,820
What? What do you mean?
420
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:25,350
Like, you're the one who keeps
talking about going home, so...
421
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,596
Well, that's 'cause I-I was thinking
422
00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:28,090
that you wanted to go home.
423
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,959
W-Well, I kind of do, now.
424
00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:35,760
Okay, fine. So, um...
425
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:37,569
I'm going home.
426
00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:39,300
Okay, fine. Go home.
427
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:41,040
I'll go home. We'll both go home.
428
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,170
Okay.
429
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,910
Good night.
430
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,780
Okay.
431
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:49,310
Bye.
432
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,060
Goodbye.
433
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,470
You know what?
434
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,470
No. I'm not giving up.
435
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:16,140
Son, it's a bad restaurant.
436
00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:18,340
I'm not talking about Lazy Susan's.
437
00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:20,540
I know my planet is weird.
438
00:18:20,610 --> 00:18:23,150
I mean, it's frozen
on the top and bottom,
439
00:18:23,210 --> 00:18:25,680
and the sky changes colors,
440
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,950
and people, they don't
know what they're doing,
441
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,219
and they mess up a lot.
442
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,220
But I love it.
443
00:18:31,290 --> 00:18:34,090
And I'm proud of it.
444
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,160
And, come on. Giraffes are cool.
445
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,090
I mean, if you don't get giraffes,
446
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,300
if you can't find the joy
447
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,560
in a tall dog with a leg for a neck,
448
00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:44,570
then I feel sorry for you.
449
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:47,239
I mean, you guys can
pick on me all you want.
450
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,840
But don't pick on Earth.
451
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,110
'Cause it's here to stay.
452
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:52,639
I'm not gonna blow it up.
453
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,510
You were gonna blow it up? Well, yeah.
454
00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:56,710
I got this whole gold-ball thing
455
00:18:56,780 --> 00:19:00,380
that is setting off this
asteroid that's coming to...
456
00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:03,250
You know what? It's over your head.
457
00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:12,130
How are we gonna fix this?
458
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,010
Did someone order a miracle?
459
00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:25,410
The bet's off.
460
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,740
I'm here to save the world.
461
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:33,520
- O - Okay. Okay.
462
00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:37,350
- Oh, um, it's not gonna...
- Ah.
463
00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,289
Okay.
464
00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:41,889
- Ah.
- Ah! Aah.
465
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,042
- Oh, no!
- Aah!
466
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,067
- Don't hurt yourself.
- Stop it.
467
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,360
That's just... Okay.
468
00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:47,630
Whew! Damn it. Rosie!
469
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,008
It's sealed... permanently.
470
00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:51,040
Remember?
471
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:52,299
Shit.
472
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:55,800
Okay.
473
00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:59,140
Oh, how's this thing going?
474
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:10,390
A basketball game became
a horror show tonight
475
00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:13,260
when a beloved mascot
died in screaming agony
476
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,860
in front of hundreds of fans.
477
00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:18,460
James "M.C. Dunks"
Morowitz collapsed suddenly
478
00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:21,060
during tonight's game due
to what doctors diagnosed
479
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:23,800
as an "explosive
rupture of the appendix."
480
00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:26,470
The mascot has already
been permanently retired,
481
00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:29,400
as psychologists believe
even seeing his image
482
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,670
may trigger scarring flashbacks
for those unlucky enough
483
00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:34,940
to have witnessed his
nightmarish demise.
484
00:20:35,010 --> 00:20:38,150
Sports, ironically, is next.
33166
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