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1
00:00:00,007 --> 00:00:02,509
WOMAN: The largest ice sheet
in the Northern Hemisphere
2
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,344
is simply melting away.
(REMOTE CLICKS)
3
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:07,314
MAN: The five-alarm forest fire rages on.
4
00:00:07,349 --> 00:00:09,649
(REMOTE CLICKS)
A Florida man on bath salts
5
00:00:09,685 --> 00:00:11,218
has eaten a woman's face.
6
00:00:11,253 --> 00:00:12,819
Ay-yi-yi.
(REMOTE CLICKS)
7
00:00:12,855 --> 00:00:15,322
MAN #2: And Buzz Dougan
has shocked the world!
8
00:00:15,357 --> 00:00:17,691
BUZZ: I got to give thanks
to my crew and to my sponsors,
9
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,227
but mostly, I want
to give thanks to the Lord
10
00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:22,496
for the victory. And I just got
to say praise God.
11
00:00:22,531 --> 00:00:24,798
(VIDEO REWINDING)
...praise God...
12
00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:26,066
...praise God...
13
00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:27,501
(VIDEO REWINDING)
...praise God...
14
00:00:27,536 --> 00:00:28,802
(VIDEO REWINDING)
...praise...
15
00:00:28,837 --> 00:00:30,437
God?
16
00:00:30,472 --> 00:00:32,339
Oh. Uh, hey, Rosie!
17
00:00:32,374 --> 00:00:35,108
I was just, uh, working on fixing, uh,
18
00:00:35,144 --> 00:00:37,077
the problems down... down on Earth.
19
00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:39,079
It's time for your 1:00 meeting.
20
00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:41,515
Oh, fantasy-football draft?
21
00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:44,418
You were going to reveal
your plan to end all pain.
22
00:00:44,453 --> 00:00:47,087
Oh. That was today? (LAUGHING) I...
23
00:00:47,122 --> 00:00:49,156
Uh, yeah, I've been working
on that all quarter.
24
00:00:49,191 --> 00:00:50,557
You know, just crunching numbers and...
25
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,024
Okay, you heard him! He's very busy.
26
00:00:53,059 --> 00:00:54,492
He doesn't have time for this.
27
00:00:54,527 --> 00:00:56,463
Come on! Chop-chop!
28
00:00:57,733 --> 00:00:59,433
(DOOR CLOSES)
29
00:00:59,468 --> 00:01:01,701
People talk every day about
how the world is screwed up,
30
00:01:01,737 --> 00:01:03,770
but... man, I say we're blessed.
31
00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:05,274
Great things happen every day.
32
00:01:05,309 --> 00:01:06,673
Great things!
33
00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:08,308
(LAUGHS) Whoo!
34
00:01:08,343 --> 00:01:10,811
And that, of course, was
Buzz Dougan's final interview
35
00:01:10,846 --> 00:01:13,747
before his horrific explosion at Daytona.
36
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,015
He is dead.
37
00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:16,983
Come on!
Next up, the polar ice caps
38
00:01:17,019 --> 00:01:18,685
are melting at a historic rate.
39
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,487
(SIGHS)
Scientists really cannot believe
40
00:01:20,522 --> 00:01:22,122
what is happening to our Mother Earth.
41
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,524
(REPORTERS TALKING AT ONCE)
42
00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:30,423
Hoochie mama.
43
00:01:32,401 --> 00:01:39,840
♪
44
00:01:39,875 --> 00:01:41,908
(BELL DINGING)
45
00:01:41,944 --> 00:01:47,547
♪
46
00:01:47,583 --> 00:01:48,849
(SCREAMING)
47
00:01:48,884 --> 00:01:54,506
♪
48
00:01:54,541 --> 00:02:02,539
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,800
MAN ON P.A.: Attention Heaven Inc...
50
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,236
Morning shift starts now.
51
00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:12,472
More budget cuts.
52
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:18,345
♪
53
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:23,850
♪
54
00:02:23,886 --> 00:02:27,120
And in this next constellation,
as you can see,
55
00:02:27,155 --> 00:02:30,690
if you connect all of the dots,
you get...
56
00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:32,079
a bear!
57
00:02:32,115 --> 00:02:33,927
What?
58
00:02:33,962 --> 00:02:36,530
He's the VP's nephew.
59
00:02:36,565 --> 00:02:38,698
Oh.
60
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,534
A really big bear!
61
00:02:42,738 --> 00:02:44,671
(SIREN WAILS)
62
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:54,281
♪
63
00:02:54,316 --> 00:02:57,250
GAIL: (SIGHS) Okay, Eliza Hunter.
64
00:02:57,286 --> 00:02:59,286
So, you've applied for a transfer.
65
00:02:59,321 --> 00:03:00,987
What is wrong with the...
66
00:03:01,023 --> 00:03:03,323
Department of Dirt?
Oh, nothing.
67
00:03:03,358 --> 00:03:05,759
It has been a really rewarding experience
68
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:09,329
making millions of tiny
dirt clumps and wetting them,
69
00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:12,532
drying them, watching them blow away,
70
00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:15,001
but I think I might be ready
71
00:03:15,037 --> 00:03:16,336
for a little more responsibility.
72
00:03:16,371 --> 00:03:17,704
Why is that? The Department of Dirt
73
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,606
is one of the most stable jobs
we've got here.
74
00:03:19,641 --> 00:03:22,375
Mark worked in the Department
of Dirt for 80,000 years.
75
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:26,212
Got his pension, has a
very nice condo, and he's happy.
76
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,781
I know. I'm really happy for Mark.
77
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,449
I just...
78
00:03:29,484 --> 00:03:32,352
I just feel like there's a lot
of big problems down on Earth,
79
00:03:32,387 --> 00:03:34,220
and I want to do more to help.
80
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,089
Eliza, I know you're new here,
81
00:03:36,124 --> 00:03:37,924
but there's something
you've got to understand.
82
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,359
It's way too late to fix Earth.
83
00:03:39,394 --> 00:03:40,961
It's not 30,000 B.C. anymore.
84
00:03:40,996 --> 00:03:43,663
It's not 20 jacked naked people
and a bunch of rockin' dinosaurs
85
00:03:43,699 --> 00:03:45,665
gettin' nasty in
some sick-ass cave somewhere.
86
00:03:45,701 --> 00:03:47,467
I don't... I don't think
that's how that was.
87
00:03:47,502 --> 00:03:49,235
My point is, you can't fix Earth.
88
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,771
Not if you don't give me a shot.
89
00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:55,575
♪
90
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,577
Okay. Fine.
91
00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:01,381
I will transfer you to the
Department of Answered Prayers.
92
00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:03,683
Wait, there's a department
that answers prayers?
93
00:04:03,719 --> 00:04:04,851
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
94
00:04:04,886 --> 00:04:05,885
(GASPS)
95
00:04:05,921 --> 00:04:07,520
I can't wait to see it.
96
00:04:07,556 --> 00:04:09,556
(WATER DRIPPING)
97
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:17,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
98
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,902
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hello?
99
00:04:22,938 --> 00:04:24,337
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
100
00:04:24,373 --> 00:04:26,439
(KEYBOARD CLACKS, BEEPING)
101
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,375
Hello?
102
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:29,943
Dividing all that... Hello?
103
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,511
Aah!
Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey!
104
00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:33,046
Hey, it's cool. I'm cool.
Oh.
105
00:04:33,081 --> 00:04:34,848
They just transferred me from Dirt.
106
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,049
I'm Eliza.
107
00:04:36,084 --> 00:04:37,260
Oh.
108
00:04:37,919 --> 00:04:39,285
Oh, wow. Oh, well, welcome!
109
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,954
Sorry. I'm Craig. I'm
so sorry for screaming at you.
110
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,757
I've been alone for years.
And I wasn't expecting anyone.
111
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,025
It's all good.
112
00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:46,993
It is a little dark in here, huh?
113
00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:48,561
I-I-I don't know.
114
00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:50,630
(BANG)
WOMAN: Lights are on.
115
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,632
All right, so, which prayer
do we answer first?
116
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,701
Saving a life, curing a disease...?
117
00:04:54,736 --> 00:04:56,503
You have arrived at a great moment.
118
00:04:56,538 --> 00:04:59,072
This one is set to be a nail-biter.
119
00:04:59,107 --> 00:05:00,473
All right.
120
00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:03,443
Please let me find my car keys.
121
00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:04,978
Keys.
122
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,346
Okay, yeah, guess we gotta get
123
00:05:06,381 --> 00:05:07,480
this little one out of the way.
124
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,182
Let's zap her the keys.
Oh, no.
125
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:11,351
We can't break the laws of physics.
126
00:05:11,386 --> 00:05:13,053
No zapping. No flying.
127
00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:14,387
Nothing they're gonna notice.
128
00:05:14,423 --> 00:05:16,256
So how do we answer prayers?
129
00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:19,993
Discreet, natural phenomena.
130
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,728
Ha ha ha.
131
00:05:21,763 --> 00:05:23,296
Sneaky, sneaky.
132
00:05:23,331 --> 00:05:26,299
Teasing me from beneath the snow.
133
00:05:26,334 --> 00:05:29,769
Ah, but you can't hide from Papa.
134
00:05:29,805 --> 00:05:32,839
No, Papa sees you.
135
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,607
And Papa is coming for you.
136
00:05:34,643 --> 00:05:36,843
WOMAN: One snowflake melted.
137
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,479
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)
Two snowflakes melted.
138
00:05:39,514 --> 00:05:41,881
I'm sorry. How much longer
is this gonna...
139
00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:45,819
900,317 snowflakes melted.
140
00:05:45,854 --> 00:05:48,488
WOMAN #2: My keys!
WOMAN #1: Prayer complete.
141
00:05:48,523 --> 00:05:51,925
Okay, okay. So, now we move
onto something bigger...?
142
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,294
Well, no, no, no. We're not done yet.
143
00:05:54,329 --> 00:05:56,196
Here's something fun.
144
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,198
And you can put it on the wall.
145
00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,899
Uh, let's see. We've got lost keys...
146
00:05:59,935 --> 00:06:01,968
lost keys... lost keys.
147
00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:03,169
A lot of lost keys this month.
148
00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:05,138
Ah! I found a good one.
What?
149
00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:06,306
Let's see.
150
00:06:06,341 --> 00:06:08,374
(SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN) _
151
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,943
Okay, let's get started. Um...
152
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,312
Oh, uh, I'll handle this.
153
00:06:13,014 --> 00:06:14,047
Wha...
(SCREAMS)
154
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,215
Whoa! You're just gonna let
155
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,750
those wolves go to town on that guy?
156
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:18,551
I find it's best
to stick with the small ones.
157
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,854
But don't worry. "Impossibles"
go all the way to the top.
158
00:06:20,889 --> 00:06:23,723
And so, if anyone
can handle them, he can.
159
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,492
Oh, okay.
160
00:06:29,364 --> 00:06:32,298
(GRUNTS) Ahh! Jordan!
161
00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:34,968
Damn it!
162
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,970
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS)
163
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:40,707
God, I know it's been
a rough few thousand years,
164
00:06:40,742 --> 00:06:42,842
but I think you're being
too hard on yourself.
165
00:06:42,878 --> 00:06:45,445
You know, you've still got
a lot of fans down there.
166
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,280
Not like before.
167
00:06:47,315 --> 00:06:50,183
Do you know how long it's been since
someone sacrificed a ram to me?
168
00:06:50,218 --> 00:06:51,518
I thought that grossed you out.
169
00:06:51,553 --> 00:06:52,752
You know, it did. But at the same time,
170
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,754
there was something nice about it.
171
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,990
I mean, it made me feel like, you know,
172
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,092
hey, I'm doing all right.
Mm.
173
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,996
Now sometimes I just
feel like packing it all in
174
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,697
and moving on to the next thing.
(BELL TOLLING)
175
00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,332
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
176
00:07:06,368 --> 00:07:08,536
Let's, uh... Let's not do
anything drastic, you know?
177
00:07:08,572 --> 00:07:10,036
Let's give it a beat.
178
00:07:10,071 --> 00:07:11,604
Things will improve.
179
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,806
They better.
180
00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,812
♪
181
00:07:14,847 --> 00:07:16,609
Impossible.
182
00:07:19,113 --> 00:07:20,513
Impossible.
183
00:07:20,782 --> 00:07:23,716
(RUMBLING)
Oh! Incoming!
184
00:07:23,752 --> 00:07:24,818
(BELL RINGS)
185
00:07:24,853 --> 00:07:27,220
WOMAN: 2 million prayers received.
186
00:07:27,255 --> 00:07:29,823
This department seems
wildly understaffed!
187
00:07:29,858 --> 00:07:32,725
It was designed to accommodate
a much smaller Earth population.
188
00:07:32,761 --> 00:07:34,828
No one ever imagined the planet
was gonna get this crowded.
189
00:07:34,863 --> 00:07:36,396
There's no way we can answer
all of those.
190
00:07:36,431 --> 00:07:38,698
I generally try and shoot
for three, four a day.
191
00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:40,800
Although, now that
I've got you, a teammate,
192
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,168
there's no telling what we can do.
193
00:07:42,204 --> 00:07:44,270
I'm thinking five... six...
194
00:07:44,306 --> 00:07:46,573
Maybe as many as six!
195
00:07:47,909 --> 00:07:49,576
(DOOR CLOSES)
196
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:52,572
CRAIG: Hyah! Hyah!
197
00:07:52,607 --> 00:07:54,699
Oh! _
198
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:57,684
♪
199
00:07:57,719 --> 00:07:59,152
Uhh!
200
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,287
Uhh! Uhh!
201
00:08:01,323 --> 00:08:03,022
Uhh! Hyah! Ha!
202
00:08:03,058 --> 00:08:04,257
Oh!
203
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:08,094
♪
204
00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:09,329
(BEEP)
205
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,464
WOMAN: Rain sequence initiated.
206
00:08:11,499 --> 00:08:12,899
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
207
00:08:14,336 --> 00:08:17,070
(LAUGHS)
208
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:19,539
(GASPS) Yes!
209
00:08:19,574 --> 00:08:21,140
WOMAN: Prayer complete.
210
00:08:21,176 --> 00:08:24,577
(ALARM BLARING)
211
00:08:25,247 --> 00:08:27,447
No!
212
00:08:27,482 --> 00:08:28,982
What happened? What did you do?
213
00:08:29,017 --> 00:08:30,216
Is that a good alarm?
214
00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:33,119
Wails of grief intermingle with
the shrieking of the death winds
215
00:08:33,154 --> 00:08:36,055
as the typhoon rages on,
taking the lives,
216
00:08:36,091 --> 00:08:37,457
and dignity, of thousands.
217
00:08:37,492 --> 00:08:38,925
There's gotta be something we can do.
218
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,693
I mean, you can press F7.
Does that stop typhoons?
219
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,061
No, it turns the sound off.
220
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:43,630
...this is horrible...
WOMAN: Mute.
221
00:08:43,665 --> 00:08:45,999
Oh.
Overflow. Overflow.
222
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:48,134
Don't beat yourself up.
Hey, it's your first day.
223
00:08:48,169 --> 00:08:50,603
We all make mistakes.
Oh, here's something fun...
224
00:08:50,639 --> 00:08:52,372
Related prayers
all come out together bundled.
225
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,506
It's a way to speed... What do they say?!
226
00:08:53,541 --> 00:08:54,774
Oh, well, yeah, you know...
227
00:08:54,809 --> 00:08:55,909
"Please save me," "Please save me,"
228
00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:57,143
"Save me," "Please save me."
229
00:08:57,178 --> 00:08:59,112
"Please kill me."
230
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,914
That's pretty chilling.
231
00:09:00,949 --> 00:09:03,283
Come on, we gotta get these up there!
232
00:09:03,318 --> 00:09:05,585
Oh, n... Don't. Okay.
Prayer jam.
233
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,320
Maybe if I can unclog the tube...
234
00:09:07,355 --> 00:09:09,055
Ooh. Missing glove!
235
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,356
(KEYBOARD CLACKS, BEEPS)
236
00:09:10,392 --> 00:09:13,259
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
237
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:17,297
♪
238
00:09:17,332 --> 00:09:19,232
Uh, where are you going?
239
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,500
To fix this.
240
00:09:20,535 --> 00:09:23,503
(ALARM BLARING)
Tragedy. Tragedy.
241
00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:25,939
Tragedy. Tragedy.
242
00:09:25,974 --> 00:09:28,608
Tragedy. Tragedy.
243
00:09:28,643 --> 00:09:32,745
Oh, Lazy Susan, love of my life.
244
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,948
If only everything worked as good as you.
245
00:09:34,983 --> 00:09:36,616
(DOOR SLAMS OPENS)
246
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:39,118
I'm sorry, sir. I told her you were busy.
247
00:09:39,688 --> 00:09:41,020
It's all good.
248
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,066
Hey.
249
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,194
God.
250
00:09:47,716 --> 00:09:49,382
Hi. Hi.
251
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,624
Eliza. What's up?
252
00:09:51,779 --> 00:09:54,914
Okay, there is a crazy typhoon happening,
253
00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:56,739
and it's killing lots of people.
254
00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:58,004
Can you help?
255
00:09:58,039 --> 00:10:01,084
I don't want to sound cynical,
but what's the point?
256
00:10:01,676 --> 00:10:04,911
Uh, the point is, you're God.
257
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,381
You made Earth, okay? It is yours.
258
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:11,046
And right now, it is in big, big trouble.
259
00:10:11,082 --> 00:10:13,086
It is a mess! People are dying!
260
00:10:13,121 --> 00:10:15,722
And you... you are
the only one that can fix it.
261
00:10:15,757 --> 00:10:18,124
Please, you have got to do something.
262
00:10:20,979 --> 00:10:22,522
You know what?
263
00:10:23,565 --> 00:10:25,264
You're right.
264
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,834
♪
265
00:10:27,869 --> 00:10:30,803
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
266
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,805
I've been here 10,000 years.
267
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,008
He's never addressed
the whole company before.
268
00:10:35,043 --> 00:10:36,009
(FEEDBACK)
269
00:10:36,044 --> 00:10:38,411
Hi.
(FEEDBACK, CROWD GROANING)
270
00:10:38,446 --> 00:10:40,546
Sorry, guys. Sorry.
271
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:42,142
Is that God?
272
00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:43,816
Um...
273
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,774
Can they hear me?
Yeah. Just lean in.
274
00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:47,787
Yeah. Um...
275
00:10:47,822 --> 00:10:52,025
so, I've decided to blow up Earth.
276
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:53,226
(CROWD GASPS)
277
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,969
And, uh...
278
00:10:56,994 --> 00:10:58,194
I guess that's it.
279
00:10:58,219 --> 00:10:59,225
All right.
280
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,835
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
281
00:11:04,605 --> 00:11:07,932
So, uh, just to be totally clear...
282
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:12,136
you want to destroy the entire
world and kill everyone?
283
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,069
Yeah. But that's not why
I brought you in here.
284
00:11:14,104 --> 00:11:16,054
We have something bigger to discuss...
285
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,619
my next thing.
286
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:21,062
I bet you a hundo
you can't guess what it is.
287
00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:25,266
♪
288
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:26,667
Is it a new planet?
289
00:11:26,703 --> 00:11:27,802
You owe me a hundo!
290
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:29,937
This here is a restaurant.
291
00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:33,174
What?
I call it... Lazy Susan's.
292
00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:36,511
Okay, what two things
do people love the most?
293
00:11:36,546 --> 00:11:38,412
Uh...
Great food.
294
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,481
And lazy rivers. Right?
295
00:11:40,517 --> 00:11:41,849
Here's how it works.
296
00:11:41,885 --> 00:11:45,219
The outside is a lazy river.
297
00:11:45,255 --> 00:11:47,789
And the middle part here
is an island that has, you know,
298
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:51,092
like, all these great chefs
making all kinds of food.
299
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,961
Now, you, you're
floating around with, uh,
300
00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:57,031
some sort of a claw-type device, right?
301
00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:58,666
And when you see a food you like,
302
00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,768
you just reach out with your claw,
303
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,271
and you grab it with your claw.
304
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,139
Couple of questions. Shoot.
305
00:12:05,175 --> 00:12:09,443
If you're blowing up the Earth,
where will the restaurant be?
306
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,079
Space? Somewhere in space?
307
00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:13,714
I don't know. That's your department.
308
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,516
Oh. I'm involved.
309
00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:18,252
We are really doing something.
310
00:12:18,288 --> 00:12:19,722
Something amazing.
311
00:12:21,191 --> 00:12:22,475
I love you, buddy.
312
00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:24,894
I love you.
313
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,629
MAN ON P.A.: Reminder...
All departments are responsible
314
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,165
for the disposal of their assets.
315
00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:40,174
♪
316
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:49,150
♪
317
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:58,159
♪
318
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:06,901
♪
319
00:13:06,936 --> 00:13:09,070
All right, that's your severance package.
320
00:13:09,105 --> 00:13:10,538
You get two weeks of health coverage
321
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:12,673
for every thousand years of service.
322
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,408
This is horrible.
You'll land on your feet.
323
00:13:14,444 --> 00:13:17,578
There are other galaxies
out there and other jobs.
324
00:13:17,614 --> 00:13:18,980
If you want, I can put a referral in
325
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,214
for you at the Borgon Nebula.
326
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,817
W-Would I be answering prayers there?
327
00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:25,086
Well, there's no life-forms
there, so, no.
328
00:13:25,121 --> 00:13:26,654
You'd mainly be swirling debris.
329
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:28,823
Right? And does the debris ever dance?
330
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:30,024
What?
331
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,893
Say the debris had lost an object,
332
00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:33,361
and then that object were found for it,
333
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,529
would the debris be like...
334
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,265
(SIGHS)
335
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,901
Craig, look, this is
a good opportunity for you.
336
00:13:39,936 --> 00:13:41,836
You have been working for centuries.
337
00:13:41,871 --> 00:13:43,437
So just take a break.
338
00:13:43,473 --> 00:13:44,672
Hang out with your friends.
339
00:13:44,707 --> 00:13:46,207
Yes. My friends.
340
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,842
You know, you don't even need
to stick around today.
341
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:49,310
Skip out early.
342
00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:50,878
Go get a burger with your buddies.
343
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,346
Mm. Burgers.
(LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE)
344
00:13:52,382 --> 00:13:54,749
Speaking of, looks like
happy hour's starting early.
345
00:13:54,784 --> 00:13:55,917
(LAUGHS)
346
00:13:55,952 --> 00:13:58,152
Wait for me, ya dickheads!
347
00:13:58,187 --> 00:14:00,988
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, LAUGHTER)
348
00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:05,092
♪
349
00:14:05,128 --> 00:14:09,697
And I already have
a prototype for the claw.
350
00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:12,199
Bet you a hundo I can pick up
a single peanut.
351
00:14:14,671 --> 00:14:16,904
Damn it! It was working good before.
352
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,272
Yeah, it's a great idea for a restaurant.
353
00:14:18,308 --> 00:14:21,809
But you know what else was
a really great idea?
354
00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:23,644
Earth.
Nah.
355
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,546
Come on, you said it yourself...
It's a mess.
356
00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:27,315
I mean, look at all those prayers.
357
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:28,768
They're impossible.
358
00:14:29,652 --> 00:14:30,918
Maybe I can... I can help.
359
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,988
You couldn't answer
a single one of those.
360
00:14:36,317 --> 00:14:39,093
You wanna make a bet?
361
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:41,295
A bet?
362
00:14:41,331 --> 00:14:42,563
You hear that, Sanjay?
363
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:44,432
A bet. (LAUGHS)
364
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,100
Interesting.
365
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,535
You thinking a hundo?
Mm...
366
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:50,271
I was thinking something
a little higher-stakes.
367
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,006
Ohh! A thouso?
368
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,843
Bigger.
369
00:14:55,878 --> 00:14:59,380
If I answer one of these
"Impossible" prayers,
370
00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:01,048
you spare Earth.
371
00:15:01,084 --> 00:15:04,685
A-All right. All right.
372
00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:07,188
But. If you fail...
373
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:08,322
The Earth explodes.
374
00:15:08,358 --> 00:15:10,558
Yeah, but, also...
375
00:15:10,593 --> 00:15:14,428
you have to eat a worm.
376
00:15:14,464 --> 00:15:16,263
Alive. The whole thing.
377
00:15:16,299 --> 00:15:18,666
The head and the butt.
In front of everyone.
378
00:15:18,701 --> 00:15:19,867
And you have to act like you like it.
379
00:15:19,902 --> 00:15:21,902
You have to go, "Mmm. Oh-ho!
380
00:15:21,938 --> 00:15:24,171
Mmm. Yum. I like worms."
381
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:25,906
(LAUGHS) Hey!
382
00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:27,475
Did you hear that, Sanjay?
Isn't that great?
383
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,120
Very funny.
384
00:15:30,113 --> 00:15:31,779
All right. Good luck.
385
00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:34,982
♪
386
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,517
How long do I have?
387
00:15:37,059 --> 00:15:38,819
Two weeks.
How about a month?
388
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,022
Two weeks!
389
00:15:41,057 --> 00:15:42,757
Oh.
390
00:15:43,885 --> 00:15:46,293
WOMAN: Prayer 98% complete.
391
00:15:46,329 --> 00:15:48,763
Great news! I figured it out.
392
00:15:48,798 --> 00:15:50,865
Please not now.
Listen, I made a bet with God,
393
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,700
and all we have to do to save the world
394
00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:53,901
is answer one of these...
395
00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,369
Please just leave me alone.
396
00:15:55,405 --> 00:15:56,670
Craig, this is a big deal!
397
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,005
Come on!
Oh!
398
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,541
Oh!
Minor earthquake.
399
00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:01,809
That was hours of work.
400
00:16:01,844 --> 00:16:03,878
So what? It's just a missing glove.
401
00:16:03,913 --> 00:16:05,546
Who cares about gloves?
I do!
402
00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:06,881
I care about gloves!
403
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:09,450
I care about gloves!
404
00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:10,718
No, look, I know.
405
00:16:10,753 --> 00:16:13,020
You think what I do is small
406
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,589
and stupid and insignificant.
407
00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,291
But it is my life.
408
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,027
I-I don't have anything else.
409
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,429
All right, the rest of you are fine.
410
00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:24,198
You just go around.
"Oh, let's go grab a burger.
411
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,300
Let's all socialize,
get burgers together.
412
00:16:26,335 --> 00:16:28,769
Let's go to a party and have...
413
00:16:28,805 --> 00:16:30,237
burgers," or however it goes...
414
00:16:30,273 --> 00:16:33,441
I don't know how it goes.
Maybe I will never know.
415
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:36,177
But I knew about my job.
416
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,846
I was good at that, at least.
417
00:16:38,881 --> 00:16:40,815
And you've taken that away from me.
418
00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:43,067
♪
419
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:44,819
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
420
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:51,378
♪
421
00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:54,499
_
422
00:16:54,524 --> 00:17:01,896
♪
423
00:17:01,931 --> 00:17:07,769
♪
424
00:17:09,209 --> 00:17:10,708
(COMPUTER POWERS ON)
425
00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:13,077
Please. I really need my glove.
426
00:17:13,113 --> 00:17:18,249
♪
427
00:17:18,285 --> 00:17:22,120
♪
428
00:17:22,155 --> 00:17:23,221
(BAG THUDS)
429
00:17:23,256 --> 00:17:25,805
Oh, good. You're here.
430
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:26,991
Why? What have you done now?
431
00:17:27,027 --> 00:17:28,560
Oh, I just, uh...
432
00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:31,429
I wanted to make sure
you got the last leaf.
433
00:17:37,337 --> 00:17:39,237
Ah! My glove!
434
00:17:39,272 --> 00:17:41,639
WOMAN: Prayer complete.
435
00:17:42,742 --> 00:17:45,076
Well, no, you should stamp it.
436
00:17:45,111 --> 00:17:47,212
You sure?
Absolutely.
437
00:17:47,247 --> 00:17:48,847
It was a team effort.
438
00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:54,252
(GUNSHOT)
439
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,922
Time to kill. (LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
440
00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,390
F7?
Yeah, F7.
441
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,725
Whoo! Woman: Mute.
442
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,328
(SIGHS)
443
00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:09,868
That's a lot to go through.
444
00:18:10,281 --> 00:18:11,936
We should probably get started.
445
00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:15,707
♪
446
00:18:15,742 --> 00:18:17,942
Maybe we can do it over burgers?
447
00:18:17,978 --> 00:18:19,644
Burgers?
448
00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:21,913
"Please save the rainforest."
449
00:18:21,948 --> 00:18:24,849
Impossible. "Please stop all wars." No.
450
00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:27,352
"Please make everyone
just chill out on Twitter."
451
00:18:27,387 --> 00:18:29,220
"Wi-Fi."
"Wi-Fi."
452
00:18:29,256 --> 00:18:30,889
"Airport Wi-Fi."
"Wi-Fi."
453
00:18:30,924 --> 00:18:32,690
"Wi-Fi."
454
00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:36,794
(LAUGHS) Craig, come on!
455
00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:40,999
Craig, leave 'em!
456
00:18:41,034 --> 00:18:44,202
Uh, it was really nice meeting you.
457
00:18:44,237 --> 00:18:45,858
You too.
458
00:18:47,841 --> 00:18:49,874
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
459
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,276
♪
460
00:18:51,311 --> 00:18:52,677
(SIGHS)
461
00:18:52,712 --> 00:18:56,180
Please, if anybody is listening...
462
00:18:56,216 --> 00:18:57,849
I really like this girl.
463
00:18:57,884 --> 00:18:59,751
Just please make this happen.
464
00:18:59,786 --> 00:19:01,920
No. No, no, no, no, no.
465
00:19:01,955 --> 00:19:03,922
Okay, love prayers never work, all right?
466
00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:05,657
There's... There's too many variables.
467
00:19:05,692 --> 00:19:07,892
So, that girl he likes
could be uninterested in him,
468
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,861
or she could be in love
with somebody else.
469
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:12,330
But check it out.
470
00:19:12,365 --> 00:19:14,365
Related prayer.
471
00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:18,536
(VIDEO REWINDING)
472
00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:20,505
(KEYBOARD CLACKS, BEEP)
473
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:23,841
♪
474
00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:26,577
Please, if you're listening...
475
00:19:26,613 --> 00:19:29,569
I really like this guy.
476
00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:31,616
Please make this happen.
477
00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:32,951
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)
478
00:19:32,986 --> 00:19:34,652
♪
479
00:19:35,322 --> 00:19:37,455
This could work.
480
00:19:46,908 --> 00:19:49,442
I don't know.
These prayers seem kinda vague.
481
00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:51,511
I mean, "make it happen"?
482
00:19:51,547 --> 00:19:52,659
Like, what does that even mean?
483
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,525
Uh, it just means they want
to become a couple.
484
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,428
Yeah, but at what point
do two people "become a couple"?
485
00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:59,430
How about we'll say the prayer
has been answered
486
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:01,098
if they go out on a date?
487
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,567
Yeah, I don't know.
488
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,484
I think they really have to,
like, you know, "do it."
489
00:20:05,519 --> 00:20:07,019
Right?
Two dates.
490
00:20:07,019 --> 00:20:08,118
And they hold hands.
491
00:20:08,154 --> 00:20:09,386
I think it needs to be full sex.
492
00:20:09,422 --> 00:20:11,789
How about a kiss?
Ooh, a kiss!
493
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,059
Romantic. Ha. Little Casanova over here.
494
00:20:15,094 --> 00:20:16,894
(LAUGHS) I like it.
495
00:20:16,929 --> 00:20:18,595
Rosie? Bring it in.
496
00:20:18,631 --> 00:20:27,371
♪
497
00:20:27,406 --> 00:20:29,594
WOMAN: Earth destruction in two weeks.
498
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:30,934
All right, wait a minute.
499
00:20:30,969 --> 00:20:33,711
Eliza, are you sure you want this prayer?
500
00:20:33,746 --> 00:20:37,147
'Cause once Rosie closes up
that world-explody thing,
501
00:20:37,183 --> 00:20:39,550
there's no turning back.
(BOMB TICKING)
502
00:20:39,585 --> 00:20:43,610
I don't want you crying when
everybody starts calling you
503
00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:45,802
"Worm Breath."
504
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,979
What?
I'm sure.
505
00:20:48,127 --> 00:20:49,960
All right. It's a bet.
506
00:20:49,995 --> 00:20:51,228
(POPS LIPS)
507
00:20:51,263 --> 00:20:52,763
Bet is made.
508
00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:55,071
(LAUGHS)
509
00:20:56,302 --> 00:21:00,112
You just picked
the hardest prayer in the box!
510
00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:01,303
Uh... n...
511
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,328
It doesn't seem that hard.
512
00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:06,054
I mean, these two people,
they really like each other.
513
00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:08,011
They... They get along, they're...
514
00:21:08,047 --> 00:21:10,447
they have fun together, they're
in close physical proximity.
515
00:21:10,483 --> 00:21:12,182
I mean, it should be simple.
516
00:21:12,218 --> 00:21:13,450
Right, Craig?
517
00:21:13,486 --> 00:21:14,852
Right. Yes. (CLEARS THROAT)
518
00:21:14,887 --> 00:21:16,420
Uh, should be simple.
519
00:21:16,455 --> 00:21:18,478
Hey, you shaved.
Did I?
520
00:21:18,514 --> 00:21:19,970
Yes, I did.
521
00:21:20,526 --> 00:21:22,726
You ready?
Let's do it.
522
00:21:25,431 --> 00:21:27,331
No, sir, love ain't easy.
523
00:21:27,366 --> 00:21:29,266
(DOOR CLOSES)
524
00:21:29,301 --> 00:21:31,268
She is gonna eat that worm.
525
00:21:31,303 --> 00:21:34,104
(WOMAN VOCALIZING)
526
00:21:34,140 --> 00:21:37,374
MAN: Police say the "shotgun
killer" is still at large.
527
00:21:37,410 --> 00:21:39,309
Not a single fingerprint was found,
528
00:21:39,345 --> 00:21:40,811
leading investigators to conclude
529
00:21:40,846 --> 00:21:42,679
that the killer must have been wearing
530
00:21:42,715 --> 00:21:45,182
what could have only been two gloves.
531
00:21:45,217 --> 00:21:46,450
BOTH: F7.
532
00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:47,723
WOMAN: Mute.
532
00:21:48,305 --> 00:21:54,606
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