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1
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It was destiny that brought the
great Sherlock Holmes into my life
2
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that fateful day I met the finest most compassionate
most beautiful man I would ever have the honor to know.
3
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,695
You look radiant this morning my darling.
4
00:01:42,696 --> 00:01:47,132
Green and proud.
Not a blemish on your perfect skin.
5
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:50,799
Oh you beautiful green succulent bitch.
6
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,132
I first met him after my return from the Afghan war.
7
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The war had left me with a broken leg,
and a broken spirit.
8
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,466
I was in dire straits.
9
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:03,354
Do you like this?
Hmm?
10
00:02:03,355 --> 00:02:08,687
I was going to end it all, but that terrible
moment became the greatest of my life.
11
00:02:08,688 --> 00:02:12,799
You unforgiving turd.
He saw I was about to jump to my death,
12
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,799
and he immediately tried to stop me.
Get out of the way! I''m going to jump!
13
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:22,355
Jump... into that garden, over there.
Are you telling me not to jump?
14
00:02:22,356 --> 00:02:26,577
There are many other ways you could kill yourself.
We had instant connection
15
00:02:26,578 --> 00:02:31,354
This man cares about me.
A little cup of poison, dead.
16
00:02:31,355 --> 00:02:34,355
He gave me a reason to live.
We'll go and have a drink.
17
00:02:34,356 --> 00:02:40,800
I will get my gun and fill your heart...
full of bullets.
18
00:02:40,801 --> 00:02:45,440
Yes! Right in the heart.
It's crazy, but I love you too!
19
00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:50,022
This man of great compassion.
I'm losing patience with you.
20
00:02:50,023 --> 00:02:55,799
You're right!
Life really is worth living!
21
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,802
No no no no!
22
00:02:58,803 --> 00:02:59,803
No.
23
00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:05,804
You saved me.
I'm alive! Your giant vegetable saved me.
24
00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:11,800
Thank you my new friend!
I'm in your debt forever!
25
00:03:11,801 --> 00:03:17,400
Oh God.
It has been my honor ever since.
26
00:03:17,401 --> 00:03:24,741
John Watson.
Yes, Hi. Sherlock Holmes.
27
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,444
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
28
00:03:58,445 --> 00:04:00,689
Moriarty's crime spree over!
29
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:04,415
Professor James Moriarty
faces justice today!
30
00:04:04,416 --> 00:04:07,021
The Napoleon of crime on trial!
31
00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:11,188
- Greatest criminal in the empire!
- That's fake news.
32
00:04:11,189 --> 00:04:13,754
Professor James Moriarty.
33
00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:16,479
You have been the organizer
of half that is evil
34
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,807
and all that goes undetected
in this great city.
35
00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:25,054
Today, you are charged with
murder in the first degree,
36
00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:29,062
but all the witnesses have died.
37
00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:37,118
Without said witnesses, I have
no choice but to set you free.
38
00:04:37,119 --> 00:04:38,961
Inspector Lestrade,
39
00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:45,253
you simply must take
better care of your witnesses.
40
00:04:45,254 --> 00:04:46,936
Mark my words,
41
00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:49,501
Sherlock Holmes is
on his way and, with him,
42
00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:52,547
the evidence that will
damn you to the noose.
43
00:04:52,548 --> 00:04:56,475
Then we should all pray he arrives soon,
for, on the strike of noon,
44
00:04:56,476 --> 00:04:58,919
I shall have to release this menace.
45
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,483
Sherlock will be here.
46
00:05:00,484 --> 00:05:10,504
He is about to burst through
those doors right now.
47
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,867
Stop this trial at once!
48
00:05:13,868 --> 00:05:15,952
I, Sherlock Holmes,
49
00:05:15,953 --> 00:05:19,439
have solved the case
of Professor James Moriarty.
50
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,123
Wonderful.
Wonderful, Holmes.
51
00:05:22,124 --> 00:05:25,210
A dramatic entrance worthy
of your greatest achievement.
52
00:05:25,211 --> 00:05:28,055
Watson, did you notice my emphasis
53
00:05:28,056 --> 00:05:30,339
on "Professor James Moriarty"?
54
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:31,782
Yes, with the finger, yes.
55
00:05:31,783 --> 00:05:33,585
Much better than the hand.
Yes.
56
00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:36,510
Instead of the karate chop,
I went to the index finger.
57
00:05:36,511 --> 00:05:38,274
Yes, it's the best one yet.
58
00:05:38,275 --> 00:05:41,039
This is the moment everyone's
been waiting for. Right here.
59
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,526
Yes, and they're literally
waiting for it now.
60
00:05:44,527 --> 00:05:46,169
Oh, yes.
You must get dressed.
61
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,531
Yes?
Very well.
62
00:05:47,532 --> 00:05:49,255
There we are.
There are your things.
63
00:05:49,256 --> 00:05:51,139
Remember, trial of the century. Yes.
64
00:05:51,140 --> 00:05:53,223
We have but...
Oh, let's see now.
65
00:05:53,224 --> 00:05:55,307
Just 16 minutes left, Holmes.
66
00:05:55,308 --> 00:05:58,152
Speed is of the essence. - Nearly there?
- Nearly there.
67
00:05:58,153 --> 00:06:02,079
A sniff of morning cocaine
always helps the brain. Ah!
68
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,402
Come now, Sherlock.
69
00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:05,326
We mustn't let that trial conclude.
70
00:06:05,327 --> 00:06:09,133
For this occasion,
I have selected a new hat.
71
00:06:09,134 --> 00:06:12,620
From now on, when people utter
the name "Sherlock Holmes,"
72
00:06:12,621 --> 00:06:17,101
they will picture this.
73
00:06:18,431 --> 00:06:21,075
Brilliant. Can we go?
74
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,520
Your furrowed brow
betrays your lying lips.
75
00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:24,843
Oh, no.
76
00:06:24,844 --> 00:06:26,245
Not to worry.
77
00:06:26,246 --> 00:06:27,527
Ta-da!
78
00:06:27,528 --> 00:06:29,532
Hey, there, cowboy.
79
00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,456
That's the one. That's the one.
Bang, bang.
80
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,058
We should leave, yes?
81
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,862
Oh!
Aye, aye.
82
00:06:34,863 --> 00:06:36,585
I say, I like that one very much.
83
00:06:36,586 --> 00:06:39,150
You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes.
84
00:06:39,151 --> 00:06:42,636
Mrs. Hudson,
what do you think of this one?
85
00:06:42,637 --> 00:06:46,483
Me? I'm just a housekeeper
from the Glasgow slums.
86
00:06:46,484 --> 00:06:50,731
The likes of me telling the likes
of you what to put on his noggin?
87
00:06:50,732 --> 00:06:52,134
Good point.
88
00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:57,545
Back to your monkey work, Hudson.
89
00:06:57,546 --> 00:06:59,829
- Perfect, right?
- May I show you a few more hats?
90
00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:01,753
- No!
- Someone's left a wee box.
91
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,115
What are you going on about?
92
00:07:03,116 --> 00:07:07,324
I never even heard anyone knocking.
Did you hear anything?
93
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:10,375
How very queer.
94
00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:14,457
- Queerer and queerer.
- Hmm.
95
00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:16,398
Very odd.
96
00:07:17,944 --> 00:07:19,466
Watson, no.
97
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:20,789
Holmes, why are you
getting so exercised?
98
00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:22,993
It's merely an empty box.
99
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:25,878
Watson, this is sent from Moriarty.
100
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,561
He means to kill us.
101
00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:29,032
Listen.
102
00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:32,732
Shut that window.
103
00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,896
If this winged menace escapes,
it may cause a pandemic.
104
00:07:34,897 --> 00:07:36,419
A killer mosquito?
105
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:38,422
The insect is infected
with African plague.
106
00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:40,867
One bite means death.
107
00:07:40,868 --> 00:07:44,113
Now, dance a Dutch jig.
108
00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:45,734
♪ ♪
109
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,606
You don't have to ask me twice
to do a Dutch jig, but why?
110
00:07:50,607 --> 00:07:53,451
Your body heat will attract
him to dine on your flesh.
111
00:07:53,452 --> 00:07:54,453
Brilliant.
112
00:07:54,454 --> 00:07:57,218
Hold! Don't move.
113
00:07:57,219 --> 00:07:58,901
Where is it?
Right there.
114
00:07:58,902 --> 00:08:00,424
There. Right there on your forehead.
115
00:08:00,425 --> 00:08:03,950
Kill it, Holmes.
I'm going to kill it.
116
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,754
There it is.
Where?
117
00:08:05,755 --> 00:08:09,281
Hold, hold. No, no.
Where?
118
00:08:09,282 --> 00:08:10,884
No, hold, hold.
119
00:08:10,885 --> 00:08:13,615
Is it biting?
120
00:08:13,891 --> 00:08:16,141
I hear it.
121
00:08:18,419 --> 00:08:20,509
I see it.
122
00:08:21,746 --> 00:08:23,268
The tip!
123
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:30,429
Don't worry, boys.
I brought a net.
124
00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:37,815
It is now seven minutes before noon.
125
00:08:37,816 --> 00:08:40,981
Upon the lowering of my gavel,
126
00:08:40,982 --> 00:08:43,586
the charges shall be dismissed.
127
00:08:43,587 --> 00:08:46,551
I shall raise my gavel in the air
128
00:08:46,552 --> 00:08:50,038
that so... and then bring it down
129
00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:54,207
briskly, making a satisfying bang,
130
00:08:54,208 --> 00:09:02,488
at which point the prisoner
shall go free.
131
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,203
Angle of approach.
132
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,206
Compensate for warp in floor.
133
00:09:15,207 --> 00:09:17,931
Count for resistance due to dust motes.
134
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,615
Probable outcome,
135
00:09:19,616 --> 00:09:21,298
termination of mosquito.
136
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,983
Integrity of bee habitat maintained.
137
00:09:23,984 --> 00:09:28,784
Deadly bee swarm averted.
138
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,241
The mosquito's vanquished.
139
00:09:33,242 --> 00:09:34,923
Well done, Holmes.
140
00:09:34,924 --> 00:09:43,219
It's a simple matter of
geometry, entomology and physics.
141
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:46,426
Oh, my God!
Oh, shit.
142
00:09:46,427 --> 00:09:50,233
Watson! Stop panicking!
We can disable the queen.
143
00:09:50,234 --> 00:09:56,294
It's making them angry, Holmes!
144
00:09:58,650 --> 00:10:00,492
Oh, my God.
What are they doing?
145
00:10:00,493 --> 00:10:02,055
They're turning this way!
146
00:10:02,056 --> 00:10:06,665
Just do anything!
Help me!
147
00:10:06,666 --> 00:10:07,906
It's working!
148
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,550
It's not working!
149
00:10:09,551 --> 00:10:12,876
Get it off!
It's not working!
150
00:10:12,877 --> 00:10:14,919
Holmes, we retreat.
151
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:22,080
Run for safety. I'll lead them away.
152
00:10:39,407 --> 00:10:42,617
Stop this trial!
153
00:10:50,308 --> 00:10:54,195
May I present to you
the greatest detective of all time,
154
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:58,002
solver of the unsolvable,
untier of Gordian knots,
155
00:10:58,003 --> 00:11:04,855
bester of conundrums,
the great Sherlock Holmes.
156
00:11:04,856 --> 00:11:07,580
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
157
00:11:07,581 --> 00:11:10,465
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
158
00:11:10,466 --> 00:11:15,256
Stop this trial at once!
159
00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:20,845
Thank goodness
you've arrived, Mr. Holmes.
160
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:24,372
Now, what startling new evidence
do you have for the court?
161
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:27,257
I am the evidence.
162
00:11:27,258 --> 00:11:30,464
Inspector Lestrade,
called upon me for assistance,
163
00:11:30,465 --> 00:11:34,471
for he lacked the mental
capacity to solve it himself.
164
00:11:34,472 --> 00:11:37,076
The inspector is a handsome man,
165
00:11:37,077 --> 00:11:39,480
ruddy, strapping.
166
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,885
Legs like oaken trunks,
167
00:11:41,886 --> 00:11:43,728
teeth like ivory,
168
00:11:43,729 --> 00:11:46,614
and yet his wife is of hideous visage.
169
00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:48,417
Terrible to look upon.
170
00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:50,823
They say her gaze curdles milk.
171
00:11:50,824 --> 00:11:53,747
Who says that?
Face like a pig's rectum.
172
00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:57,354
Jeffrey... Holmes!
Close those pillowy lips!
173
00:11:57,355 --> 00:11:59,158
I am under oath!
174
00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:03,366
Actually, you're not under oath.
Not under yours!
175
00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:06,171
Under my own sworn duty,
as a detective.
176
00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:10,299
I cannot allow my brain to
be clouded with feelings!
177
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,024
Now... I recall the day vividly.
178
00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:15,429
I arrived at the crime scene alone.
179
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:20,238
Completely and utterly alone.
180
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:24,045
I meticulously inspected every
nook and cranny of that study,
181
00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:34,184
hunting for clues, much like
a panther stalks its prey.
182
00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:36,188
And as I stood there,
183
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:39,595
I began to employ
a groundbreaking new technique.
184
00:12:39,596 --> 00:12:41,358
Right there.
185
00:12:41,359 --> 00:12:44,083
Behold! Fingerprints.
186
00:12:44,084 --> 00:12:48,732
Imagine a print
being taken from a finger.
187
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,015
I love it.
188
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:56,307
How do these prove Moriarty's guilt?
189
00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:57,778
Watson.
190
00:12:58,432 --> 00:13:01,476
Moriarty would never leave
a trail of clues,
191
00:13:01,477 --> 00:13:03,280
which begs the question,
192
00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:05,083
why was this crime scene
193
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:08,930
so uncharacteristically
littered with fingerprints?
194
00:13:08,931 --> 00:13:10,654
Good work, Watson.
195
00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:11,976
Thank you. I just thought
of what you might have done.
196
00:13:11,977 --> 00:13:13,940
I compared these prints
197
00:13:13,941 --> 00:13:17,146
to those of the man standing before you.
198
00:13:17,147 --> 00:13:18,749
A perfect match.
199
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:22,156
Unequivocal proof that this man
200
00:13:22,157 --> 00:13:24,641
- is innocent.
- What?
201
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,284
But if those are Moriarty's prints,
202
00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:28,368
then Moriarty is the murderer.
203
00:13:28,369 --> 00:13:30,892
This man is not Moriarty.
204
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,695
He sure looks like Moriarty.
205
00:13:32,696 --> 00:13:36,663
He's an impostor.
His name is Jacob Musgrave.
206
00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:39,108
A complete look-alike, a doppelganger.
207
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:43,236
A patsy framed to hang
for Moriarty's crimes,
208
00:13:43,237 --> 00:13:46,122
so that I may abandon my pursuit of him
209
00:13:46,123 --> 00:13:48,926
and he can begin life anew in America.
210
00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:52,694
Why would an innocent man agree
to hang for Moriarty's crimes?
211
00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:56,300
Elementary.
This man is terminally ill.
212
00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:59,146
Look at him.
His pallid complexion.
213
00:13:59,147 --> 00:14:01,471
The palsy in his left hand.
214
00:14:01,472 --> 00:14:03,314
Wait. I know.
He's an onanist.
215
00:14:03,315 --> 00:14:06,560
Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind.
216
00:14:06,561 --> 00:14:08,083
What's an onanist?
217
00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:09,887
He...
Let's see.
218
00:14:09,888 --> 00:14:14,198
He pours his own tea.
219
00:14:14,256 --> 00:14:18,263
He likes to create his own sauce.
220
00:14:18,264 --> 00:14:21,869
- He is a saucier.
- Huh?
221
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:25,476
And the name of his restaurant
is Crotch Kitchen.
222
00:14:25,477 --> 00:14:28,762
On a daily basis,
he creams his own eclair.
223
00:14:28,763 --> 00:14:32,971
He is Romeo and Juliet.
224
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,054
That should do it.
225
00:14:35,055 --> 00:14:37,819
- This here.
- Oh, he's a wanker.
226
00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:38,982
Thank you.
227
00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:40,825
Sorry, ladies.
228
00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:44,312
This chap here had nothing
to lose by being executed.
229
00:14:44,313 --> 00:14:47,999
He was literally dying by his own hand.
230
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,602
It causes death, you see.
231
00:14:49,603 --> 00:14:52,848
The infallible Sherlock Holmes
has indeed spoken.
232
00:14:52,849 --> 00:14:56,455
In light of his testimony, I order
the release of the suspect.
233
00:14:56,456 --> 00:15:02,226
What? This is an outrage!
Do not let this murderer free.
234
00:15:02,227 --> 00:15:05,632
Bang, bang, bang!
Court is adjourned.
235
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:11,243
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
236
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,888
Why are you cheering?
237
00:15:13,889 --> 00:15:15,572
Sherlock!
238
00:15:15,573 --> 00:15:18,738
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
239
00:15:18,739 --> 00:15:20,261
That couldn't have gone better.
240
00:15:20,262 --> 00:15:21,663
It couldn't have.
241
00:15:21,664 --> 00:15:23,106
And I tell you, that case was rather...
242
00:15:23,107 --> 00:15:25,991
It took us three years to catch him.
243
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,676
If we release him now,
we may never find him again.
244
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:32,123
Put aside your ego and admit I am right.
245
00:15:32,124 --> 00:15:36,210
I am afraid Moriarty's
long gone to America.
246
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:39,176
Whatever crimes Moriarty
commits from now on
247
00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:42,697
are on your head.
248
00:15:42,744 --> 00:15:44,867
I quite like seeing Lestrade upset.
249
00:15:44,868 --> 00:15:48,228
Yeah. I do, too.
250
00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:54,966
Professor James
Moriarty fled to the Americas
251
00:15:54,967 --> 00:16:01,987
and would never darken England again.
252
00:16:04,585 --> 00:16:07,911
What a fine ending to my fine
Luc Au Revoir adventures
253
00:16:07,912 --> 00:16:24,712
All there is left to do now is to let the ink
dry on this one copy of my manuscript.
254
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:31,704
Holmes.
255
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,121
Are you upset?
256
00:16:34,122 --> 00:16:36,365
It's just that Moriarty
was the whetstone
257
00:16:36,366 --> 00:16:38,609
upon which I sharpened my mental blade.
258
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:43,058
With him gone, not there
to challenge me, why go on?
259
00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:45,903
Instead, I shall occupy
my great, great mind
260
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,267
with nutritional science.
261
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,790
My research suggests
262
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,556
that the sulfurous compounds
of the common onion
263
00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:54,920
can increase your red blood cells.
264
00:16:54,921 --> 00:16:58,046
Vital for human health.
265
00:16:58,047 --> 00:17:03,737
Just bite it like an apple, eh?
Mmm-hmm.
266
00:17:03,738 --> 00:17:08,907
Definitely takes four or five bites.
267
00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:10,670
Are we meant to eat the whole thing?
268
00:17:10,671 --> 00:17:12,394
The whole thing.
269
00:17:12,395 --> 00:17:18,445
Let the juice slither
down the back of your throat.
270
00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:21,290
Congratulations, Holmes.
271
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,495
You're not only
the smartest man in London,
272
00:17:23,496 --> 00:17:25,738
you shall soon be the healthiest.
273
00:17:25,739 --> 00:17:27,209
Indeed.
274
00:17:27,864 --> 00:17:31,069
Now, where's my opium?
275
00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,220
Um...
276
00:17:32,673 --> 00:17:33,754
Mrs. Hudson!
277
00:17:33,755 --> 00:17:35,918
Hudson!
Hudson!
278
00:17:35,919 --> 00:17:37,069
Help!
279
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:39,525
Hudson, Watson has stuck
a carrot up my bum!
280
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,848
Hudson, help!
281
00:17:40,849 --> 00:17:42,931
Fire! Fire!
Call the police!
282
00:17:42,932 --> 00:17:44,655
Hudson, your mother has died!
283
00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:46,538
You brain-dead bag of bones!
284
00:17:46,539 --> 00:17:49,544
Hudson!
Hudson!
285
00:17:49,545 --> 00:17:50,666
Hudson!
286
00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:52,669
Hudson, where are you?
287
00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:53,820
Uh...
288
00:17:53,994 --> 00:17:55,876
Did you not hear any of that?
289
00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:57,840
We screamed "fire."
Where?
290
00:17:57,841 --> 00:17:59,563
And we were screaming your name.
291
00:17:59,564 --> 00:18:02,809
You were just there in my bedroom?
292
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:03,640
Oh.
293
00:18:06,257 --> 00:18:09,799
Sufferin' Succotash.
The great Sherlock Holmes.
294
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:16,798
I'm Honor- You curl your R's, indicating a
native from a less educated United State,
295
00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:18,799
Namely Missouri.
296
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:35,960
Smudge of ink on your waistcoat, index finger
of your right hand calloused from a quill...
297
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,347
Shut up.
Come on.
298
00:19:15,348 --> 00:19:23,001
No wonder my room always
smells like fish pie and semen.
299
00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:24,524
This came for you.
300
00:19:24,525 --> 00:19:25,515
Hmm.
301
00:19:26,048 --> 00:19:29,374
Sealed by hands unused to manual labor.
302
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:30,365
Hmm.
303
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:32,850
Hmm.
304
00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:36,186
Saliva from a protein-rich
diet of chicken kidneys.
305
00:19:36,187 --> 00:19:38,752
Why, Watson, it's from the Queen.
306
00:19:38,753 --> 00:19:39,743
Huh.
307
00:19:40,236 --> 00:19:42,599
Seems Her Majesty requests my services.
308
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,564
A crime that has baffled
even her closest advisors,
309
00:19:45,565 --> 00:19:48,570
and only my singular intellect
can solve it.
310
00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:49,973
Well, well, well,
311
00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:53,780
look who's back in the game.
312
00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:55,223
Watson, are you all right?
313
00:19:55,224 --> 00:19:57,106
I'm just very nervous.
314
00:19:57,107 --> 00:20:03,157
I've not met the Queen before.
315
00:20:04,201 --> 00:20:05,803
Deep breath.
Your Majesty,
316
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:10,532
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.
317
00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:15,473
My God, it's really her.
318
00:20:18,107 --> 00:20:19,097
Shh.
319
00:20:22,115 --> 00:20:23,585
Watson.
320
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:26,563
Say something.
321
00:20:26,564 --> 00:20:27,925
I love you.
322
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:31,211
I know I am duty-bound to serve you, but
323
00:20:31,212 --> 00:20:32,934
let me just say, on a personal note,
324
00:20:32,935 --> 00:20:34,297
- I really like you.
- Stop touching her.
325
00:20:34,298 --> 00:20:35,659
Just as a fan.
326
00:20:35,660 --> 00:20:37,544
Please, sir.
327
00:20:37,545 --> 00:20:38,946
Don't touch the Queen.
328
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:39,777
Oh!
329
00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:41,991
Quite right.
330
00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,475
Sorry, Your Majesty.
331
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,961
You look a lot smaller in person.
332
00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:49,045
Just stop. Just stop.
Sorry. It's true.
333
00:20:49,046 --> 00:20:50,328
Just stop talking.
334
00:20:50,329 --> 00:20:52,732
Yes.
Stop talking.
335
00:20:52,733 --> 00:20:54,094
I'm crazy about your look.
336
00:20:54,095 --> 00:20:55,858
What did I say?
337
00:20:55,859 --> 00:20:58,503
Am I still talking out loud?
You are. You are.
338
00:20:58,504 --> 00:21:01,388
It's just the Queen.
Yes.
339
00:21:01,389 --> 00:21:03,112
- Okay?
- Okay.
340
00:21:03,113 --> 00:21:04,355
Your Majesty,
341
00:21:04,356 --> 00:21:07,560
how may we be of service to the realm?
342
00:21:07,561 --> 00:21:09,805
Mr. Holmes, pray follow us.
343
00:21:09,806 --> 00:21:13,812
There is danger about.
344
00:21:13,813 --> 00:21:15,335
What a looker, right?
345
00:21:15,336 --> 00:21:19,703
She is stunning in person.
346
00:21:19,704 --> 00:21:21,547
Fear not, Your Majesty,
347
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,992
Sherlock will allow no harm to
come to you, and neither will I.
348
00:21:23,993 --> 00:21:27,278
Five, four, three,
349
00:21:27,279 --> 00:21:29,121
two, one.
350
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,912
Surprise!
351
00:21:31,046 --> 00:21:33,450
Thank you.
Thank you.
352
00:21:33,451 --> 00:21:35,975
Had I been a non-genius
such as yourselves,
353
00:21:35,976 --> 00:21:39,221
there's a 72% chance
I would have been surprised.
354
00:21:39,222 --> 00:21:41,002
Oh! 72%.
355
00:21:43,109 --> 00:21:45,071
Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes.
356
00:21:45,072 --> 00:21:49,240
We wish you well and thank
you for your many years...
357
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:55,331
Your many years of public service.
358
00:21:55,332 --> 00:21:57,054
So, Holmes.
Yes.
359
00:21:57,055 --> 00:21:58,136
When did you know?
360
00:21:58,137 --> 00:21:59,619
Tuesday.
361
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:01,090
Really?
362
00:22:01,223 --> 00:22:03,266
You were seven minutes late coming home.
363
00:22:03,267 --> 00:22:05,430
Stopped at the stationer's,
364
00:22:05,431 --> 00:22:07,634
confirmed by the scent of paper mulch.
365
00:22:07,635 --> 00:22:09,157
You have the nose of a bloodhound.
366
00:22:09,158 --> 00:22:12,163
Your mustache betrayed
a dusting of crumbs.
367
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,327
Evidence of cake sampling.
368
00:22:14,328 --> 00:22:15,798
Guilty.
369
00:22:16,452 --> 00:22:19,938
And you purchased a case
of pre-phylloxera champagne.
370
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:23,825
You lack the self-esteem to buy
yourself such an extravagant bottle.
371
00:22:23,826 --> 00:22:25,949
It's true.
372
00:22:25,950 --> 00:22:31,530
I don't deserve nice things.
373
00:22:31,842 --> 00:22:35,889
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow
374
00:22:35,890 --> 00:22:39,535
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
375
00:22:39,536 --> 00:22:42,260
♪ And so say all of us ♪
376
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:43,571
Bravo.
377
00:22:45,508 --> 00:22:46,949
Thank you.
378
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:49,394
That was delightful.
379
00:22:49,395 --> 00:22:50,877
Oh, a layer cake.
380
00:22:50,878 --> 00:22:52,960
It's shaped like a magnifying glass.
381
00:22:52,961 --> 00:22:53,951
Yes!
382
00:22:57,451 --> 00:23:01,938
The second layer is rather thick.
383
00:23:01,939 --> 00:23:04,463
There must be a few nuts
in there. Uh, if I may.
384
00:23:04,464 --> 00:23:08,750
Would you mind?
Here. Yes, of course.
385
00:23:08,751 --> 00:23:09,953
Do you see what I'm talking about?
386
00:23:09,954 --> 00:23:11,436
Yes.
Yes.
387
00:23:11,437 --> 00:23:13,640
Ah. Raspberry jam.
388
00:23:13,641 --> 00:23:15,564
Mmm. My weakness.
389
00:23:15,565 --> 00:23:17,888
I know what I need.
390
00:23:17,889 --> 00:23:19,572
What the...
He's getting an ax!
391
00:23:19,573 --> 00:23:22,937
Brilliant.
Charge!
392
00:23:22,938 --> 00:23:23,768
Oh!
393
00:23:24,502 --> 00:23:27,146
Stand back.
Back, everyone, I say.
394
00:23:27,147 --> 00:23:29,670
A murder in Buckingham Palace.
395
00:23:29,671 --> 00:23:32,997
Look, a note. There.
396
00:23:32,998 --> 00:23:37,318
Right under your nose.
397
00:23:40,452 --> 00:23:42,655
"A birthday present for you, Sherlock.
398
00:23:42,656 --> 00:23:44,980
"A crime to challenge your wits.
399
00:23:44,981 --> 00:23:47,064
"Stop me in four days' time,
400
00:23:47,065 --> 00:23:49,708
"or I will destroy London's
greatest marvel and kill the Queen,
401
00:23:49,709 --> 00:23:52,353
"and I will rewrite history."
402
00:23:52,354 --> 00:23:54,879
Signed "Professor James Moriarty."
403
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:55,870
Hmm.
404
00:23:56,442 --> 00:23:58,205
This is Jimmy Gruber,
405
00:23:58,206 --> 00:23:59,848
the witness who disappeared,
406
00:23:59,849 --> 00:24:02,413
whose testimony prompted
Moriarty's arrest
407
00:24:02,414 --> 00:24:05,058
and whom Moriarty swore to kill.
408
00:24:05,059 --> 00:24:08,909
And your conclusion?
409
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:13,353
That Moriarty has killed
again, as I predicted.
410
00:24:13,354 --> 00:24:17,321
Ah. The most obvious conclusion.
411
00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,164
No, this is definitely the work
412
00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:21,930
of someone who is going
to extraordinary lengths
413
00:24:21,931 --> 00:24:24,856
to make it appear as if
Moriarty committed these crimes.
414
00:24:24,857 --> 00:24:28,543
- Sherlock Holmes.
- The Queen.
415
00:24:28,544 --> 00:24:32,069
We charge you with the task
of stopping this criminal
416
00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:34,113
before he can do us harm.
417
00:24:34,114 --> 00:24:37,760
Solve this case on behalf
of your queen and country.
418
00:24:37,761 --> 00:24:38,962
- I will.
- We will.
419
00:24:38,963 --> 00:24:40,325
But, Your Majesty...
420
00:24:40,326 --> 00:24:43,090
Sherlock Holmes has never failed us.
421
00:24:43,091 --> 00:24:45,134
The bold ingenuity of this crime
422
00:24:45,135 --> 00:24:47,338
calls me back to the profession
423
00:24:47,339 --> 00:24:49,182
of detecting like a siren song.
424
00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:50,945
I won't let anyone hurt you.
425
00:24:50,946 --> 00:24:52,989
Watson. To the morgue.
426
00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:55,514
Lestrade, clean this mess up now.
427
00:24:55,515 --> 00:25:01,415
The game is a-starting.
Yeah.
428
00:25:02,328 --> 00:25:05,572
Who is this copycat
pretending to be Moriarty?
429
00:25:05,573 --> 00:25:08,138
Finally, a problem worthy of my brain.
430
00:25:08,139 --> 00:25:09,981
This birthday cake is delicious.
431
00:25:09,982 --> 00:25:11,384
Did you get a chance to try it?
432
00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:17,395
No, there was a corpse in it.
Oh.
433
00:25:17,396 --> 00:25:18,798
Watson?
434
00:25:18,799 --> 00:25:19,629
Oh.
435
00:25:19,881 --> 00:25:21,803
Oh, my goodness.
436
00:25:21,804 --> 00:25:22,634
Oh.
437
00:25:23,447 --> 00:25:24,528
Finders keepers.
438
00:25:24,529 --> 00:25:25,679
Yeah.
439
00:25:27,014 --> 00:25:28,817
Are you sure you wouldn't
rather wait out here?
440
00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:30,460
The last time you were
in the morgue, you...
441
00:25:30,461 --> 00:25:34,628
Watson, I am a man
of stout constitution.
442
00:25:34,629 --> 00:25:37,593
Yes, of course. I just
thought, after the last time,
443
00:25:37,594 --> 00:25:39,718
with the...
444
00:25:39,719 --> 00:25:41,819
And the...
445
00:25:41,883 --> 00:25:44,086
Merely a bout of stomach influenza.
446
00:25:44,087 --> 00:25:45,489
Yes, but the time before that?
447
00:25:45,490 --> 00:25:47,813
Bad clams.
And before that?
448
00:25:47,814 --> 00:25:49,536
I shook hands with a prostitute.
449
00:25:49,537 --> 00:25:50,527
Yes.
450
00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:54,466
No, no.
Put that away.
451
00:25:54,467 --> 00:26:04,977
I'm not some vaporous,
giggling, fainting maiden who...
452
00:26:05,969 --> 00:26:08,893
Oh, ye of little...
453
00:26:08,894 --> 00:26:11,538
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
454
00:26:11,539 --> 00:26:13,262
I think I'm starting to feel a bit...
455
00:26:13,263 --> 00:26:14,744
I wouldn't...
456
00:26:14,745 --> 00:26:16,788
Are you...
No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
457
00:26:16,789 --> 00:26:24,202
'Cause if you start to feel
sick, then I'll start to feel...
458
00:26:24,203 --> 00:26:26,927
Surely, I must be done.
Yes.
459
00:26:26,928 --> 00:26:32,678
Next to impossible to still...
460
00:26:35,865 --> 00:26:37,348
There you are.
461
00:26:37,349 --> 00:26:40,353
All done.
Yes, there.
462
00:26:40,354 --> 00:26:42,357
Would you like some water?
Did you say water...
463
00:26:42,358 --> 00:26:45,042
Sorry. I'm sorry.
464
00:26:45,043 --> 00:26:47,286
Shall we begin the autopsy?
465
00:26:47,287 --> 00:26:49,490
Oh, thank goodness
these cleaning women are here
466
00:26:49,491 --> 00:26:50,773
to clean up this dreadful mess.
467
00:26:50,774 --> 00:26:52,576
Someone's made sick.
Oh.
468
00:26:52,577 --> 00:26:55,061
My dear Watson, these women
469
00:26:55,062 --> 00:26:56,945
are far too well-dressed
to be cleaning women.
470
00:26:56,946 --> 00:27:01,072
They're here to identify their
well-to-do husbands' bodies.
471
00:27:01,073 --> 00:27:02,595
Sorry for your loss.
472
00:27:02,596 --> 00:27:05,120
Thank you, but I am the doctor.
473
00:27:05,121 --> 00:27:08,527
Look, Watson, grief has
scrambled her brain.
474
00:27:08,528 --> 00:27:10,490
Mmm.
She thinks she's a doctor.
475
00:27:10,491 --> 00:27:13,816
Fortunately, Miss,
there's a real doctor here
476
00:27:13,817 --> 00:27:15,339
who may help you.
477
00:27:15,340 --> 00:27:17,063
Would you like some heroin?
478
00:27:17,064 --> 00:27:19,227
Dr. Watson, I presume.
479
00:27:19,228 --> 00:27:21,511
And you must be Sherlock Holmes.
480
00:27:21,512 --> 00:27:24,276
Dr. Grace Hart of Boston.
481
00:27:24,277 --> 00:27:26,040
A woman doctor?
482
00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:28,845
- What times we live in.
- Yes.
483
00:27:28,846 --> 00:27:31,450
In America, we're much more progressive.
484
00:27:31,451 --> 00:27:34,336
I now make 30 cents for
every dollar a man earns.
485
00:27:34,337 --> 00:27:37,020
What does "doctor" mean in America?
486
00:27:37,021 --> 00:27:38,864
It means "doctor."
487
00:27:38,865 --> 00:27:40,868
You're Dr. G. Hart?
488
00:27:40,869 --> 00:27:42,752
Of Boston?
Yes.
489
00:27:42,753 --> 00:27:45,396
Holmes, we're in the
presence of a pioneer.
490
00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:48,202
Dr. Hart's work with the use
of electroshock therapy
491
00:27:48,203 --> 00:27:50,567
to cure female hysteria
is groundbreaking.
492
00:27:50,568 --> 00:27:54,574
Yes, I proved the higher the voltage,
the more demons are released.
493
00:27:54,575 --> 00:27:55,897
Well, of course.
494
00:27:55,898 --> 00:27:57,900
Some of my patients live
as long as a week.
495
00:27:57,901 --> 00:28:00,586
"Doctor"?
Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R?
496
00:28:00,587 --> 00:28:01,577
Yes.
497
00:28:02,590 --> 00:28:05,033
This is my aide, Millicent.
498
00:28:05,034 --> 00:28:08,921
She's very shy, but a
wonderful traveling companion.
499
00:28:08,922 --> 00:28:12,207
Shall we proceed to the examination?
500
00:28:12,208 --> 00:28:16,296
Please.
Our cadaver awaits.
501
00:28:16,297 --> 00:28:17,738
No, no, no.
502
00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:18,889
Here.
503
00:28:19,783 --> 00:28:21,906
Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell.
504
00:28:21,907 --> 00:28:28,198
Perhaps you would rather stay
here and keep Millicent company.
505
00:28:28,199 --> 00:28:29,560
Sherlock Holmes.
506
00:28:29,561 --> 00:28:33,091
Charmed to meet...
507
00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:35,091
To meet you.
508
00:28:35,092 --> 00:28:37,215
Millicent is the subject of my research.
509
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,380
She was raised by feral cats.
510
00:28:39,381 --> 00:28:41,664
She has the mental capacity
of a four-year-old,
511
00:28:41,665 --> 00:28:44,789
but it is my belief that, with
sufficient electroshock therapy,
512
00:28:44,790 --> 00:28:47,715
she can achieve the
intellect of a six-year-old.
513
00:28:47,716 --> 00:28:49,799
We are truly in
the golden age of medicine.
514
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,442
There's nothing left to learn.
515
00:28:51,443 --> 00:28:52,273
No.
516
00:28:54,409 --> 00:28:59,199
What a creature you are.
517
00:29:06,872 --> 00:29:13,044
You're devouring that onion
with such passion.
518
00:29:13,045 --> 00:29:16,169
It's strangely arousing.
519
00:29:16,170 --> 00:29:18,012
Dr. Watson,
I have always been taken
520
00:29:18,013 --> 00:29:21,019
by your unwavering devotion
to Mr. Holmes,
521
00:29:21,020 --> 00:29:25,667
but haven't you ever
considered something more?
522
00:29:25,668 --> 00:29:30,148
Perhaps a co-detective?
523
00:29:30,317 --> 00:29:32,079
He and I?
524
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:33,281
Co-detectives?
525
00:29:33,282 --> 00:29:34,272
Yes.
526
00:29:34,445 --> 00:29:36,689
Oh, the very idea!
527
00:29:36,690 --> 00:29:40,215
Uh...
Solving crimes together?
528
00:29:40,216 --> 00:29:42,539
Laughing and enjoying
the esprit de corps
529
00:29:42,540 --> 00:29:45,305
of two best friends
pursuing a noble cause!
530
00:29:45,306 --> 00:29:46,907
Madness. No, dear.
531
00:29:46,908 --> 00:29:49,948
No. No, not I.
532
00:29:50,676 --> 00:29:52,616
Not here.
533
00:29:52,920 --> 00:30:03,620
Not even in my most rapturous
moments of private fantasy.
534
00:30:03,621 --> 00:30:10,432
Anyway, let's go clean this
cake-covered bastard, shall we?
535
00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:16,343
The wonders of modern medicine.
536
00:30:16,444 --> 00:30:18,848
Now, you're going to laugh,
537
00:30:18,849 --> 00:30:21,173
but I found the most important
tool of an autopsy is...
538
00:30:21,174 --> 00:30:22,484
Music.
539
00:30:23,659 --> 00:30:24,649
Yes.
540
00:30:24,981 --> 00:30:26,921
You, too?
541
00:30:33,196 --> 00:30:35,961
♪ Oh, my love ♪
542
00:30:35,962 --> 00:30:40,209
This one always gets me in the mood.
543
00:30:40,210 --> 00:30:44,210
So begins the dance.
544
00:30:50,670 --> 00:30:53,113
You have some dribble. Hmm?
545
00:30:53,114 --> 00:30:59,334
Just a touch of dribble right...
546
00:31:02,051 --> 00:31:06,458
♪ And time goes by... ♪
547
00:31:06,459 --> 00:31:19,029
There is something so sensual about
forensic autopsy, isn't there?
548
00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:36,315
You are a delight.
549
00:31:36,316 --> 00:31:43,249
Your eyes say more
than words ever could.
550
00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:44,240
Hmm.
551
00:31:44,652 --> 00:31:49,140
The tincture of ammonia and scrotum.
552
00:31:49,141 --> 00:31:53,228
Hello, Inspector Lestrade.
553
00:31:53,229 --> 00:31:54,911
We have combed the manifests
554
00:31:54,912 --> 00:31:57,876
of every ship to set sail
for the Americas
555
00:31:57,877 --> 00:32:01,123
and found not a single Moriarty.
556
00:32:01,124 --> 00:32:04,369
Moriarty's too cunning
to use his own name.
557
00:32:04,370 --> 00:32:06,333
He's sailing under an alias.
558
00:32:06,334 --> 00:32:08,216
Ah, here we are.
559
00:32:08,217 --> 00:32:10,661
So, after a thorough...
560
00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:13,402
Very thorough.
561
00:32:13,948 --> 00:32:16,031
Stop.
No, you stop.
562
00:32:16,032 --> 00:32:18,837
Examination of the body...
563
00:32:18,838 --> 00:32:21,281
And I must say, Dr. Hart made some
564
00:32:21,282 --> 00:32:23,485
beautiful lateral incisions there.
565
00:32:23,486 --> 00:32:28,655
No, watching you flay the skin
from his face so gently!
566
00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:31,060
I would flay 1,000 faces for you.
And the way...
567
00:32:31,061 --> 00:32:33,063
Just tell me what you found!
568
00:32:33,064 --> 00:32:34,054
Yes.
569
00:32:34,908 --> 00:32:36,550
Cause of death indeterminate.
570
00:32:36,551 --> 00:32:37,953
Indeterminate?
571
00:32:37,954 --> 00:32:39,355
What do you mean?
572
00:32:39,356 --> 00:32:41,760
It means he doesn't know.
573
00:32:41,761 --> 00:32:43,603
- Proceed, Watson.
- Yes.
574
00:32:43,604 --> 00:32:47,731
We found a freshly applied
tattoo of a cross
575
00:32:47,732 --> 00:32:50,577
and the numbers one and 20.
576
00:32:50,578 --> 00:32:52,821
I have the oddest feeling.
577
00:32:52,822 --> 00:32:55,266
It's like knowing, but the opposite.
578
00:32:55,267 --> 00:32:57,069
Meaning you haven't a clue.
579
00:32:57,070 --> 00:33:00,315
Who is this genius pretender
who's taken Moriarty's place,
580
00:33:00,316 --> 00:33:04,604
committing crimes exactly
the way he would?
581
00:33:04,605 --> 00:33:06,647
A fantastic new case.
582
00:33:06,648 --> 00:33:09,011
I'm aroused
both mentally and physically.
583
00:33:09,012 --> 00:33:12,779
I was wondering, rather than
working beside you on this case,
584
00:33:12,780 --> 00:33:15,664
I might work with you as a sort of...
585
00:33:15,665 --> 00:33:17,868
Grace called it a "co-detective."
586
00:33:17,869 --> 00:33:21,876
One cannot simply just
make someone a detective.
587
00:33:21,877 --> 00:33:23,318
It must be earned.
588
00:33:23,319 --> 00:33:25,844
Well, I deduced you might say that,
589
00:33:25,845 --> 00:33:28,369
which is why, when we arrive home,
590
00:33:28,370 --> 00:33:31,494
I propose a game of chess.
591
00:33:31,495 --> 00:33:33,017
If I should best you,
592
00:33:33,018 --> 00:33:35,061
then surely I possess
the mental power...
593
00:33:35,062 --> 00:33:37,626
Checkmate! Checkmate.
594
00:33:37,627 --> 00:33:40,151
What?
We haven't started yet.
595
00:33:40,152 --> 00:33:41,834
You would have opened
with the Queen's Gambit.
596
00:33:41,835 --> 00:33:44,078
Oh, indeed.
A reliable first move.
597
00:33:44,079 --> 00:33:45,761
I would have countered
with a Slav Defense.
598
00:33:45,762 --> 00:33:48,727
Oh! An audacious move.
Quite unexpected.
599
00:33:48,728 --> 00:33:51,252
You would have panicked,
thus exposing your queen.
600
00:33:51,253 --> 00:33:52,374
No, not my queen!
601
00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:53,897
Seeing your queen exposed
602
00:33:53,898 --> 00:33:55,941
would have compelled you to defend her.
603
00:33:55,942 --> 00:33:58,987
Indeed. It is my duty
in chess as in life.
604
00:33:58,988 --> 00:34:03,235
Thereby neglecting my castle.
605
00:34:03,236 --> 00:34:05,186
Checkmate.
606
00:34:05,761 --> 00:34:07,122
Perhaps another game?
607
00:34:07,123 --> 00:34:09,046
Rock-paper-scissors.
608
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,570
Rock, rock, paper, paper,
scissors, paper,
609
00:34:11,571 --> 00:34:14,496
rock, scissors, paper, rock.
610
00:34:14,497 --> 00:34:15,618
Dash it all!
611
00:34:15,619 --> 00:34:17,061
What about Battleship?
612
00:34:17,062 --> 00:34:19,746
D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3.
613
00:34:19,747 --> 00:34:21,990
Damn it, you've sunk my battleship.
614
00:34:21,991 --> 00:34:24,515
You're a good man, Watson,
615
00:34:24,516 --> 00:34:27,280
but you're not ready.
616
00:34:27,281 --> 00:34:28,643
But why?
617
00:34:28,644 --> 00:34:35,484
If you were ready, you'd know why.
618
00:34:41,749 --> 00:34:43,912
Let the game begin.
619
00:34:43,913 --> 00:34:46,157
A piece for a piece.
620
00:34:46,158 --> 00:34:51,418
Two can play at that game.
621
00:35:07,398 --> 00:35:08,388
Mmm.
622
00:35:11,165 --> 00:35:12,955
Peekaboo.
623
00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:18,153
Ah. Checkmate.
624
00:35:18,218 --> 00:35:24,118
And to the victor, the spoils.
625
00:35:24,270 --> 00:35:30,010
You'll never be co-detective.
626
00:35:31,844 --> 00:35:34,849
Watson, I'm near a breakthrough.
627
00:35:34,850 --> 00:35:37,414
My hypothesis is the true cause of death
628
00:35:37,415 --> 00:35:40,780
is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo.
629
00:35:40,781 --> 00:35:44,788
But I need your help.
630
00:35:44,789 --> 00:35:46,391
You want me to be co-detective?
631
00:35:46,392 --> 00:35:47,994
Mmm-mmm.
632
00:35:47,995 --> 00:35:51,000
I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson.
633
00:35:51,001 --> 00:35:52,282
Sorry for what?
634
00:35:52,283 --> 00:35:54,126
Mr. Holmes left me no choice.
635
00:35:54,127 --> 00:35:56,610
May you rest in peace.
What's she on about?
636
00:35:56,611 --> 00:36:02,862
All will be clear in three, two, one.
637
00:36:02,863 --> 00:36:03,984
Excuse me.
638
00:36:03,985 --> 00:36:05,828
I'll take that.
639
00:36:05,829 --> 00:36:07,792
It's just something caught in my throat.
640
00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:09,114
Oh, no.
641
00:36:09,115 --> 00:36:10,436
I poisoned you.
642
00:36:10,437 --> 00:36:11,427
Why?
643
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,482
To test my theory.
644
00:36:13,483 --> 00:36:15,125
Am I going to die?
645
00:36:15,126 --> 00:36:16,648
No, I have an antidote.
646
00:36:16,649 --> 00:36:19,694
Oh. But I need to see it play out.
647
00:36:19,695 --> 00:36:21,658
Now, let's see here.
648
00:36:21,659 --> 00:36:23,381
Redness around the mouth.
Good.
649
00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:24,703
Help me.
650
00:36:24,704 --> 00:36:28,952
You will have temporary brain damage.
651
00:36:28,953 --> 00:36:30,835
Wake up, Watson. Wake up.
652
00:36:30,836 --> 00:36:33,119
We have work to do.
Watson.
653
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,043
Who's Watson?
I'll kill him!
654
00:36:35,044 --> 00:36:36,326
You son of a bitch!
655
00:36:36,327 --> 00:36:37,487
Violent aggression.
656
00:36:37,488 --> 00:36:39,492
Oh, please give me the antidote.
657
00:36:39,493 --> 00:36:40,854
Drama queen syndrome.
658
00:36:40,855 --> 00:36:43,179
Why am I doing this?
659
00:36:43,180 --> 00:36:44,501
Confused mime.
660
00:36:44,502 --> 00:36:47,507
Oh! Does this suit make me look fat?
661
00:36:47,508 --> 00:36:49,230
Body image dysmorphia.
662
00:36:49,231 --> 00:36:51,011
My eyes!
663
00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:54,721
Sensitivity to light.
My eyes! It burns!
664
00:36:54,722 --> 00:36:57,366
Excruciating abdominal pain.
665
00:36:57,367 --> 00:36:58,928
Yes, it's confirmed.
666
00:36:58,929 --> 00:37:01,053
It was poison.
Come, Watson.
667
00:37:01,054 --> 00:37:04,099
Let us not be late.
668
00:37:04,100 --> 00:37:05,502
Oh! Of course.
669
00:37:05,503 --> 00:37:07,453
Lactation.
670
00:37:08,508 --> 00:37:10,470
Why?
Come along, Watson.
671
00:37:10,471 --> 00:37:14,959
I'll explain in the cab.
672
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,202
There we go.
673
00:37:16,203 --> 00:37:18,005
Oh, thank God for this antidote.
674
00:37:18,006 --> 00:37:21,291
I feel as though I've
completely recovered.
675
00:37:21,292 --> 00:37:24,182
Yes, you have.
676
00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:26,621
There.
677
00:37:26,622 --> 00:37:27,864
So where are we going?
678
00:37:27,865 --> 00:37:29,987
The fact that the victim was poisoned
679
00:37:29,988 --> 00:37:33,995
suggests the killer lacked
physical strength to overpower him.
680
00:37:33,996 --> 00:37:37,362
The tattoos you examined
have an uneven quality.
681
00:37:37,363 --> 00:37:41,129
It leads me to believe that they
were drawn by a one-armed man.
682
00:37:41,130 --> 00:37:43,613
A one-armed man.
683
00:37:43,614 --> 00:37:44,604
Yes.
684
00:37:45,017 --> 00:37:47,100
A weak man who would use poison.
685
00:37:47,101 --> 00:37:52,030
There is only one one-armed
tattoo artist in all of London.
686
00:37:52,031 --> 00:37:55,356
The nefarious Gustav Klinger.
687
00:37:55,357 --> 00:37:58,441
Dorset Street! And
don't spare the horses!
688
00:37:58,442 --> 00:37:59,964
Dorset Street.
689
00:37:59,965 --> 00:38:03,732
Home of drunkards, thieves,
and hairy, old whores.
690
00:38:03,733 --> 00:38:06,577
And, if my theory
is correct, the killer.
691
00:38:06,578 --> 00:38:09,638
Hello, gorgeous.
692
00:38:10,025 --> 00:38:15,715
Though all is calm now,
we must be on highest alert.
693
00:38:15,716 --> 00:38:19,040
Shall we ask someone if they've
seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger?
694
00:38:19,041 --> 00:38:22,568
This neighborhood does not
welcome curious outsiders.
695
00:38:22,569 --> 00:38:24,532
Excuse me.
Have you the time?
696
00:38:24,533 --> 00:38:27,978
Not for you, outsider.
697
00:38:27,979 --> 00:38:29,701
Merciful God.
698
00:38:29,702 --> 00:38:31,385
We must blend in.
699
00:38:31,386 --> 00:38:34,110
Fortunately, my time tripping the boards
700
00:38:34,111 --> 00:38:35,472
has made me a master of disguise.
701
00:38:35,473 --> 00:38:36,463
Yes.
702
00:38:43,208 --> 00:38:44,198
You.
703
00:38:44,330 --> 00:38:46,093
What have you done with Sherlock?
704
00:38:46,094 --> 00:38:48,336
Why, Watson,
705
00:38:48,337 --> 00:38:51,067
I never left.
706
00:38:51,745 --> 00:38:53,507
Amazing.
Yes, I know.
707
00:38:53,508 --> 00:38:55,911
Yes, you've outdone yourself this time.
708
00:38:55,912 --> 00:38:57,222
Now...
709
00:38:57,756 --> 00:38:59,117
Huh?
No.
710
00:38:59,118 --> 00:39:00,640
Still me.
It's you?
711
00:39:00,641 --> 00:39:02,403
It's still Sherlock.
712
00:39:02,404 --> 00:39:04,447
All right.
Rest assured.
713
00:39:04,448 --> 00:39:05,850
It's very convincing.
714
00:39:05,851 --> 00:39:07,693
Now for your disguise.
715
00:39:07,694 --> 00:39:11,340
Oh, what will it be?
716
00:39:11,341 --> 00:39:15,341
Yes. You, my friend,
717
00:39:15,469 --> 00:39:20,918
shall play a down-on-your-luck
horseshit salesman.
718
00:39:20,919 --> 00:39:22,859
Oh.
Yes.
719
00:39:23,164 --> 00:39:25,006
Yes. Yes.
720
00:39:25,007 --> 00:39:28,052
Come, Watson. We have a
one-armed killer to catch.
721
00:39:28,053 --> 00:39:29,735
Get into character.
722
00:39:29,736 --> 00:39:31,459
- Horseshit for sale!
- There you go.
723
00:39:31,460 --> 00:39:33,542
- Who will buy my horse's shit?
- I'll take some.
724
00:39:33,543 --> 00:39:37,390
No one must know our true purpose. Mmm.
725
00:39:37,391 --> 00:39:39,033
What you toffs want?
726
00:39:39,034 --> 00:39:46,327
To buy a pint for any man
who can raise two hands.
727
00:39:46,328 --> 00:39:48,772
Every man has both arms.
728
00:39:48,773 --> 00:39:50,855
Klinger isn't here.
729
00:39:50,856 --> 00:39:53,020
Our journey continues.
730
00:39:53,021 --> 00:39:57,508
Blend in like a common oaf. Yes.
731
00:39:57,509 --> 00:39:59,391
Keep drinking.
We need to fit in.
732
00:39:59,392 --> 00:40:00,862
Cheers.
733
00:40:01,798 --> 00:40:03,119
Cheers!
734
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,490
More, more, more!
735
00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:11,381
Oi! Oi! Oi!
736
00:40:17,467 --> 00:40:18,949
They have boxing here.
737
00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:20,512
I don't care if he's small!
738
00:40:20,513 --> 00:40:24,600
- Kill!
- Come on, fight!
739
00:40:24,601 --> 00:40:26,042
Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger?
740
00:40:26,043 --> 00:40:32,054
Who cares about Klinger?
Exactly!
741
00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:33,336
Release the child!
742
00:40:33,337 --> 00:40:35,300
Let go of that boy!
I want him dead!
743
00:40:35,301 --> 00:40:39,301
Sweet river of piss.
744
00:40:39,349 --> 00:40:41,953
You have real force there.
745
00:40:41,954 --> 00:40:43,475
Arc of stream.
746
00:40:43,476 --> 00:40:44,959
Direction of wind.
747
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,882
Compensate for shy penis.
748
00:40:46,883 --> 00:40:49,327
Avoid splash on shoes.
749
00:40:49,328 --> 00:40:51,370
And release fluids.
750
00:40:51,371 --> 00:40:52,973
Oh, my goodness.
751
00:40:52,974 --> 00:40:56,501
Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants.
752
00:40:56,502 --> 00:40:58,183
You really are a genius.
753
00:40:58,184 --> 00:41:00,588
Oh, watch it.
Oh, sorry.
754
00:41:00,589 --> 00:41:03,193
I should like to send a telegram.
755
00:41:03,194 --> 00:41:05,614
Grace. Stop.
756
00:41:07,082 --> 00:41:11,082
Are you awake? Stop.
757
00:41:11,850 --> 00:41:14,254
Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady.
758
00:41:14,255 --> 00:41:15,245
Ooh!
759
00:41:16,058 --> 00:41:17,821
Are you quite sure this is a good idea?
760
00:41:17,822 --> 00:41:19,424
This is wonderful.
761
00:41:19,425 --> 00:41:22,630
The combination of the late
hour and your drunkenness
762
00:41:22,631 --> 00:41:26,116
allows for communication
of exceptional honesty.
763
00:41:26,117 --> 00:41:27,239
Quite right.
764
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:29,002
I will call it an intoxigram.
765
00:41:29,003 --> 00:41:31,887
And no one shall ever
regret sending one.
766
00:41:31,888 --> 00:41:34,732
Now, lay bare the fruits
of your inebriation.
767
00:41:34,733 --> 00:41:36,456
Ask her what she's wearing.
768
00:41:36,457 --> 00:41:38,821
What are you wearing?
Stop.
769
00:41:38,822 --> 00:41:39,582
Bloomers?
770
00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:41,345
A brassiere?
771
00:41:41,346 --> 00:41:43,870
I'd wager you'd look good in anything.
772
00:41:43,871 --> 00:41:45,153
Wonderful.
Stop.
773
00:41:45,154 --> 00:41:47,277
Shall I ask what Millie
thinks about you?
774
00:41:47,278 --> 00:41:48,428
Um...
775
00:41:49,161 --> 00:41:51,485
I don't care.
Sure. Why not?
776
00:41:51,486 --> 00:41:53,729
What does Millie think of Sherlock?
777
00:41:53,730 --> 00:41:57,496
Does Millie ever drip wax over her body?
778
00:41:57,497 --> 00:42:00,101
Hot wax. Stop.
779
00:42:00,102 --> 00:42:01,785
- Okay. That's enough.
- Yeah, I think so.
780
00:42:01,786 --> 00:42:05,786
Describe your loins.
Ah Yes.
781
00:42:05,787 --> 00:42:11,021
Hot Loins.
Hot Loins for sale.
782
00:42:11,022 --> 00:42:15,009
Come and get them while they're hot.
Hot steamy loins.
783
00:42:15,010 --> 00:42:19,098
Now show her how she
makes you feel. Huh?
784
00:42:19,099 --> 00:42:22,022
Just go ahead.
Display it.
785
00:42:22,023 --> 00:42:23,333
There.
786
00:42:23,986 --> 00:42:28,132
Don't look away!
Look at it!
787
00:42:28,133 --> 00:42:29,357
Telegraph a picture of this.
788
00:42:29,358 --> 00:42:32,523
And make sure you get
the banger and the beans.
789
00:42:32,524 --> 00:42:34,166
Focus on the mushroom.
790
00:42:34,167 --> 00:42:36,811
Are you positive I shan't
regret this in the morning?
791
00:42:36,812 --> 00:42:38,774
You absolutely will.
792
00:42:38,775 --> 00:42:40,378
Silence, you!
Say it again.
793
00:42:40,379 --> 00:42:41,740
Say it again. I dare you. Oh!
794
00:42:41,741 --> 00:42:43,424
Please say it.
Please say it again.
795
00:42:43,425 --> 00:42:44,906
Do you think you would be
the first man I've killed?
796
00:42:44,907 --> 00:42:50,277
I have the penis of a baby doll.
797
00:42:50,278 --> 00:42:56,328
It's just a statement of fact.
798
00:42:56,890 --> 00:42:58,773
Oh, well, Watson,
799
00:42:58,774 --> 00:43:01,258
after a night of drinking,
I could eat a whole pie.
800
00:43:01,259 --> 00:43:03,541
Oh, no, it's cakes for me, my friend.
801
00:43:03,542 --> 00:43:05,105
Ah! Cakes, indeed!
802
00:43:05,106 --> 00:43:09,393
Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes.
803
00:43:09,394 --> 00:43:11,397
We should open a restaurant called
804
00:43:11,398 --> 00:43:15,284
the International House of
Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes.
805
00:43:15,285 --> 00:43:18,450
Yes, and you can only
eat there after a night of drinking.
806
00:43:18,451 --> 00:43:20,534
Well, speaking of the night,
I fear it's a night wasted.
807
00:43:20,535 --> 00:43:23,459
No sign of Klinger anywhere. Mmm.
808
00:43:23,460 --> 00:43:25,383
Not so fast, Watson.
809
00:43:25,384 --> 00:43:28,309
Look at those two men and their tattoos.
810
00:43:28,310 --> 00:43:29,952
I don't understand.
811
00:43:29,953 --> 00:43:32,477
We haven't been able
to find the tattoo artist.
812
00:43:32,478 --> 00:43:39,370
Perhaps we should follow the tattoos.
813
00:43:39,371 --> 00:43:40,813
A gymnasium?
814
00:43:40,814 --> 00:43:42,897
You really think Klinger
would be here, Holmes?
815
00:43:42,898 --> 00:43:45,982
Look alive, Watson.
He could be anywhere.
816
00:43:45,983 --> 00:43:48,548
Three, two, one.
817
00:43:48,549 --> 00:43:51,232
Pick it up. Pick it up.
That's it.
818
00:43:51,233 --> 00:43:53,557
Out with the bad air, in with the good.
819
00:43:53,558 --> 00:43:55,240
Look at these health nuts.
820
00:43:55,241 --> 00:43:57,204
Big deep breath.
821
00:43:57,205 --> 00:43:58,927
Obsessed with the
purifying effects of smoke.
822
00:43:58,928 --> 00:44:02,654
All right, good
lungful of the cleansing vapors.
823
00:44:02,655 --> 00:44:05,460
I don't think he's here, Holmes.
824
00:44:05,461 --> 00:44:07,664
Hello, hello, hello!
825
00:44:07,665 --> 00:44:09,627
Sherlock Holmes.
826
00:44:09,628 --> 00:44:10,458
Ah.
827
00:44:11,191 --> 00:44:12,954
You must be Gustav Klinger,
828
00:44:12,955 --> 00:44:16,160
the one-armed tattoo
artist of Dorset Street.
829
00:44:16,161 --> 00:44:19,051
Looks like it.
830
00:44:20,008 --> 00:44:23,534
Gustav Klinger, I accuse you
of poisoning Jimmy Gruber
831
00:44:23,535 --> 00:44:25,738
and baking him into a large cake.
832
00:44:25,739 --> 00:44:30,266
A deliciously large cake
that I baked myself.
833
00:44:30,267 --> 00:44:31,830
Oh, please.
834
00:44:31,831 --> 00:44:33,272
How dare you!
835
00:44:33,273 --> 00:44:35,596
You did not bake that cake.
836
00:44:35,597 --> 00:44:38,201
Not only did I bake it.
I decorated it, too.
837
00:44:38,202 --> 00:44:39,444
Impossible.
838
00:44:39,445 --> 00:44:40,767
It's got a frosting attachment.
839
00:44:40,768 --> 00:44:42,610
You're trying to tell me
840
00:44:42,611 --> 00:44:45,255
that a one-armed man made a
professional, bakery-quality cake
841
00:44:45,256 --> 00:44:46,577
fit for the Queen.
Watson.
842
00:44:46,578 --> 00:44:48,902
It's just... It...
It doesn't matter
843
00:44:48,903 --> 00:44:50,625
if he baked the cake or not.
It really bugs... I know.
844
00:44:50,626 --> 00:44:51,947
- It really...
- Best cake I've ever eaten.
845
00:44:51,948 --> 00:44:54,112
I did bake the cake.
All right, fine.
846
00:44:54,113 --> 00:44:55,795
You "baked the cake."
847
00:44:55,796 --> 00:44:59,041
I didn't "bake a cake."
848
00:44:59,042 --> 00:45:00,203
I baked a cake.
849
00:45:00,204 --> 00:45:01,646
Then you admit it.
850
00:45:01,647 --> 00:45:03,450
You killed Jimmy Gruber.
851
00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:05,573
And what if I did, Mr. Holmes?
852
00:45:05,574 --> 00:45:08,660
It's not as if you're in a
position to do anything about it.
853
00:45:08,661 --> 00:45:11,665
He's right, Sherlock Holmes.
854
00:45:11,666 --> 00:45:15,272
You've walked straight into our trap.
855
00:45:15,273 --> 00:45:17,276
Moriarty.
Quiet, Watson.
856
00:45:17,277 --> 00:45:21,123
In the name of the queen,
I arrest you both.
857
00:45:21,124 --> 00:45:23,488
Oh, come, Sherlock.
858
00:45:23,489 --> 00:45:25,331
You don't think it'll be that easy.
859
00:45:25,332 --> 00:45:28,497
You won't be leaving
here alive, Mr. Holmes,
860
00:45:28,498 --> 00:45:36,512
unless, of course, you fight
your way out of the Hexagon.
861
00:45:36,513 --> 00:45:39,158
Where are you pointing?
862
00:45:39,159 --> 00:45:40,280
There.
863
00:45:40,281 --> 00:45:42,163
This way or that way?
864
00:45:42,164 --> 00:45:43,474
There.
865
00:45:43,527 --> 00:45:44,929
- Oh.
- The Hexagon.
866
00:45:44,930 --> 00:45:47,092
But I won't fight a one-armed man.
867
00:45:47,093 --> 00:45:50,059
Oh, no. I've got this,
Sherlock.
868
00:45:50,060 --> 00:45:52,623
It won't be the first time I've
fought a cripple.
869
00:45:52,624 --> 00:45:53,866
Oh, uh...
870
00:45:53,867 --> 00:45:55,389
You won't be fighting me.
871
00:45:55,390 --> 00:45:57,552
Nah, nah, nah.
872
00:45:57,553 --> 00:45:59,356
You're fighting my mate.
873
00:45:59,357 --> 00:46:01,617
Meet Brawn.
874
00:46:19,155 --> 00:46:21,725
Oh, come on.
875
00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:26,641
Well, I call bullshit.
876
00:46:27,571 --> 00:46:30,094
I fear it might be suicide
to fight this man.
877
00:46:30,095 --> 00:46:36,066
I think it's mostly psychological.
878
00:46:36,067 --> 00:46:38,270
I'm psychologically
scared shitless right now.
879
00:46:38,271 --> 00:46:42,121
Fight! Fight! Fight!
880
00:46:43,441 --> 00:46:45,323
Okay. Okay.
881
00:46:45,324 --> 00:46:48,289
But if you want to watch
this fight, you have to pay.
882
00:46:48,290 --> 00:46:50,052
You have to pay to view it.
883
00:46:50,053 --> 00:46:53,139
This is a pay-to-view-it fight.
884
00:46:53,140 --> 00:46:55,262
Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair,
885
00:46:55,263 --> 00:46:57,066
but if you split it among a few friends
886
00:46:57,067 --> 00:46:58,749
and buy some beers, some pizza,
887
00:46:58,750 --> 00:47:01,073
it could be a fun thing to do
with the guys.
888
00:47:01,074 --> 00:47:03,324
It's time!
889
00:47:05,884 --> 00:47:10,531
Let's get ready to scuffle!
890
00:47:10,532 --> 00:47:12,856
Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle!
891
00:47:12,857 --> 00:47:13,978
Nice!
892
00:47:13,979 --> 00:47:15,340
What is she doing here?
893
00:47:15,341 --> 00:47:16,904
It's 6:00 in the morning.
894
00:47:16,905 --> 00:47:18,586
Holmes, I don't know why...
895
00:47:18,587 --> 00:47:20,310
Yes... but that really jacked me up.
896
00:47:20,311 --> 00:47:22,274
Ah! I think I might stand a chance.
897
00:47:22,275 --> 00:47:24,198
It reminds me of Istanbul.
898
00:47:24,199 --> 00:47:27,002
Exactly. And what
did I beat in Istanbul?
899
00:47:27,003 --> 00:47:28,726
Syphilis!
Syphilis! Exactly.
900
00:47:28,727 --> 00:47:30,730
Go get him.
All right.
901
00:47:30,731 --> 00:47:31,892
Come on!
902
00:47:31,893 --> 00:47:33,335
"Come on"?
You come on!
903
00:47:33,336 --> 00:47:34,326
You!
904
00:47:34,899 --> 00:47:39,219
You mountain of flesh.
905
00:47:45,359 --> 00:47:47,561
Your turn, Mr. Holmes!
906
00:47:47,562 --> 00:47:54,242
Yes, I know.
Of course I'm next.
907
00:47:54,977 --> 00:47:57,421
Opponent, 350 pounds.
908
00:47:57,422 --> 00:47:58,983
Use pipe.
909
00:47:58,984 --> 00:48:03,352
Create diversion to distract his gaze.
910
00:48:03,353 --> 00:48:05,435
Plan of attack,
911
00:48:05,436 --> 00:48:08,321
surprise first blow to center of mass.
912
00:48:08,322 --> 00:48:11,126
Gracefully dodge counterpunch.
913
00:48:11,127 --> 00:48:14,372
Employ visual impairment.
914
00:48:14,373 --> 00:48:16,938
Easily duck wild swing.
915
00:48:16,939 --> 00:48:20,224
Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method
916
00:48:20,225 --> 00:48:23,590
to disrupt his balance.
917
00:48:23,591 --> 00:48:24,873
Grab facial hair.
918
00:48:24,874 --> 00:48:26,636
Use for leverage.
919
00:48:26,637 --> 00:48:30,487
Okinawan beard flip.
920
00:48:31,125 --> 00:48:33,529
Enemy incapacitated.
921
00:48:33,530 --> 00:48:35,790
Catch pipe.
922
00:48:35,814 --> 00:48:41,084
Revel in crowd's adulation.
923
00:48:53,568 --> 00:48:55,188
Oh, no.
924
00:48:58,057 --> 00:48:59,218
Good show, Watson.
925
00:48:59,219 --> 00:49:02,424
Thank you, Holmes.
926
00:49:02,425 --> 00:49:04,228
Break his pelvis.
927
00:49:04,229 --> 00:49:06,329
Go! Again!
928
00:49:06,472 --> 00:49:11,732
Club him like a baby seal.
929
00:49:13,927 --> 00:49:15,890
What have I done?
No, you're fine.
930
00:49:15,891 --> 00:49:17,653
Okay.
Now,
931
00:49:17,654 --> 00:49:21,661
tell us everything you know
about the plot to kill the Queen.
932
00:49:21,662 --> 00:49:22,942
All right.
933
00:49:22,943 --> 00:49:26,790
I'll tell you everything I know.
934
00:49:26,791 --> 00:49:31,039
I've been stabbed in the back.
935
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,321
Meaning?
Oh.
936
00:49:32,322 --> 00:49:34,124
Metaphorically speaking, yes.
937
00:49:34,125 --> 00:49:39,254
No, I've literally
been stabbed in the back...
938
00:49:39,255 --> 00:49:43,575
Holmes, he's escaping.
939
00:49:49,555 --> 00:49:51,237
So Moriarty is in England.
940
00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:54,403
Watson.
Does it look like Moriarty
941
00:49:54,404 --> 00:49:55,394
now?
942
00:49:56,408 --> 00:49:57,849
Who is this?
943
00:49:57,850 --> 00:49:59,933
Jacob Musgrave,
944
00:49:59,934 --> 00:50:02,178
as I've been saying all along.
945
00:50:02,179 --> 00:50:04,382
A man who looks so much like Moriarty,
946
00:50:04,383 --> 00:50:07,027
a simple beard fooled almost everyone.
947
00:50:07,028 --> 00:50:08,429
All right, I admit it.
948
00:50:08,430 --> 00:50:10,393
I am no Moriarty.
949
00:50:10,394 --> 00:50:12,036
My name is Musgrave,
950
00:50:12,037 --> 00:50:14,722
just like he says.
951
00:50:14,723 --> 00:50:16,805
- Wow.
- Who put you up to this?
952
00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:20,092
Oh, they've been leaving me
notes telling me what to do.
953
00:50:20,093 --> 00:50:21,334
I don't know who it is.
954
00:50:21,335 --> 00:50:23,738
I swear, I'm just a simple wanker.
955
00:50:23,739 --> 00:50:25,742
He's telling the truth, Watson.
956
00:50:25,743 --> 00:50:28,267
This morally deficient creature,
957
00:50:28,268 --> 00:50:31,954
this awful, awful excuse
for a man, this...
958
00:50:31,955 --> 00:50:34,359
Bag of rubbish.
Yes, good one, Watson. Yes.
959
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,202
Come on, guys. I'm dying.
960
00:50:36,203 --> 00:50:38,767
These are the wages of wanking, you see?
961
00:50:38,768 --> 00:50:40,972
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
962
00:50:40,973 --> 00:50:42,093
Just a...
963
00:50:42,094 --> 00:50:44,738
Don't wank on us.
964
00:50:44,739 --> 00:50:46,359
A coal.
965
00:50:46,703 --> 00:50:50,991
Said you were to take it to Newcastle.
966
00:50:50,992 --> 00:50:53,315
- A lump of coal?
- Yeah.
967
00:50:53,316 --> 00:50:54,637
To Newcastle?
968
00:50:54,638 --> 00:50:56,601
Newcastle by the river?
969
00:50:56,602 --> 00:50:59,527
Perhaps this clue will
lead us to the real mastermind.
970
00:50:59,528 --> 00:51:00,609
Time is running out.
971
00:51:00,610 --> 00:51:01,931
We must save the Queen.
972
00:51:01,932 --> 00:51:05,452
Good luck to you.
973
00:51:07,062 --> 00:51:09,345
♪ While speeding to London town
974
00:51:09,346 --> 00:51:12,031
♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down
975
00:51:12,032 --> 00:51:14,675
♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown
976
00:51:14,676 --> 00:51:17,160
♪ Little reason to keep that crown
977
00:51:17,161 --> 00:51:19,845
♪ While speeding to London town
978
00:51:19,846 --> 00:51:22,611
♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down
979
00:51:22,612 --> 00:51:25,135
♪ Keep smiling
and forget that frown... ♪
980
00:51:25,136 --> 00:51:28,301
Bring these coals to Newcastle.
981
00:51:28,302 --> 00:51:29,612
Coals.
982
00:51:30,146 --> 00:51:32,388
Coals. "Sherlock."
983
00:51:32,389 --> 00:51:35,475
"Three days until I rewrite
history and kill the queen."
984
00:51:35,476 --> 00:51:37,238
Millicent is the subject of my research.
985
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,202
Coals to Newcastle.
986
00:51:39,203 --> 00:51:41,406
Talking to you, it's as if our
brains are sharing a tandem bicycle.
987
00:51:41,407 --> 00:51:43,370
She has the mental capacity of...
988
00:51:43,371 --> 00:51:44,853
Now you have but three days...
989
00:51:44,854 --> 00:51:46,415
Bring these coals to Newcastle.
990
00:51:46,416 --> 00:51:49,381
♪ Co-detective Sherlock and me ♪
991
00:51:49,382 --> 00:51:50,624
Uh... Oh.
992
00:51:50,625 --> 00:51:52,788
Good morning, Sherlock.
993
00:51:52,789 --> 00:51:54,431
What's happened?
Well, I'm...
994
00:51:54,432 --> 00:51:56,755
I'm trying to untangle
this baffling clue.
995
00:51:56,756 --> 00:51:57,586
Ah.
996
00:51:58,119 --> 00:52:00,442
Ever since I met Millie,
my mind is muddled.
997
00:52:00,443 --> 00:52:02,566
Do you suppose she's infected me
998
00:52:02,567 --> 00:52:04,651
with some sort of a disease?
999
00:52:04,652 --> 00:52:05,773
Disease?
1000
00:52:05,774 --> 00:52:07,455
My heart races.
1001
00:52:07,456 --> 00:52:08,858
My palms sweat.
1002
00:52:08,859 --> 00:52:10,621
I have all these feelings.
1003
00:52:10,622 --> 00:52:14,469
Holmes, get a hold of yourself.
You're not sick.
1004
00:52:14,470 --> 00:52:15,672
You're in love.
1005
00:52:15,673 --> 00:52:17,755
Love? Horseradish!
1006
00:52:17,756 --> 00:52:19,078
I'm a man of logic.
1007
00:52:19,079 --> 00:52:20,881
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
1008
00:52:20,882 --> 00:52:25,410
In fact, I, too, have been taken
by this malady called love.
1009
00:52:25,411 --> 00:52:28,495
Grace has asked me to call upon her.
1010
00:52:28,496 --> 00:52:30,299
Apparently,
1011
00:52:30,300 --> 00:52:34,707
I sent her quite the charming
telegram last night.
1012
00:52:34,708 --> 00:52:36,671
Watson, you've cracked it.
1013
00:52:36,672 --> 00:52:38,114
Have I? Co-detective?
1014
00:52:38,115 --> 00:52:39,437
Think, Watson.
Uh...
1015
00:52:39,438 --> 00:52:40,960
Is there a single logical reason
1016
00:52:40,961 --> 00:52:43,484
for Grace to want to seek your company?
1017
00:52:43,485 --> 00:52:44,967
Romantic interest?
1018
00:52:44,968 --> 00:52:46,731
No.
My eyes?
1019
00:52:46,732 --> 00:52:47,933
It's all a ruse.
1020
00:52:47,934 --> 00:52:50,056
Moriarty escapes to America,
1021
00:52:50,057 --> 00:52:53,062
and then these two
American women show up?
1022
00:52:53,063 --> 00:52:56,829
Sorry, you're saying
Grace is the killer?
1023
00:52:56,830 --> 00:52:59,595
Of course she's not the killer.
She's an American.
1024
00:52:59,596 --> 00:53:01,999
She would have used a gun.
Ah. Hmm.
1025
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,005
No, Grace is working for the killer.
1026
00:53:05,006 --> 00:53:05,836
Oh.
1027
00:53:06,128 --> 00:53:08,091
We shall seduce her,
1028
00:53:08,092 --> 00:53:10,215
and that will lead us to the murderer.
1029
00:53:10,216 --> 00:53:11,996
Mmm-hmm.
1030
00:53:12,140 --> 00:53:12,940
Yes.
1031
00:53:12,941 --> 00:53:15,941
Well, we best get you cleaned
up and dressed then, eh?
1032
00:53:15,942 --> 00:53:18,132
Thank you Watson.
1033
00:53:18,133 --> 00:53:21,133
Oh. You're still here.
1034
00:53:21,134 --> 00:53:27,134
Hudson. What are you doing in my room again?
I told you, I will clean it from now on.
1035
00:53:27,135 --> 00:53:29,800
You have your own room.
Under the stairs!
1036
00:53:29,801 --> 00:53:33,256
Out! Out!
Come Along...
1037
00:53:33,257 --> 00:53:38,047
You've soiled it enough!
1038
00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:42,258
Ugh... Good God.
Harry Houdini and Albert Einstein.
1039
00:53:42,259 --> 00:53:46,059
Really? What kind of three
backed beast is this?
1040
00:53:46,060 --> 00:53:50,060
There's sometimes more.
I pray in there, that room is a sanctuary.
1041
00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:56,261
I know... If you only knew the things I've done
in that bed. I would just get rid of it if I was you.
1042
00:53:56,262 --> 00:54:00,262
Why are you bringing all of these
men in here? Stick to your broomstick!
1043
00:54:00,263 --> 00:54:08,993
C'mon. Move it! You've got a job to finish!
1044
00:54:09,008 --> 00:54:10,530
Who could that be at this early hour?
1045
00:54:10,531 --> 00:54:11,841
Enter.
1046
00:54:18,666 --> 00:54:21,086
Her Majesty.
1047
00:54:21,552 --> 00:54:24,516
Have you come to see me?
1048
00:54:24,517 --> 00:54:27,522
Mr. Holmes, I have
but two days left to live
1049
00:54:27,523 --> 00:54:30,407
unless you can solve this case.
1050
00:54:30,408 --> 00:54:33,573
My queen, do come in.
1051
00:54:33,574 --> 00:54:38,743
I shall speak with
Mr. Holmes in private.
1052
00:54:38,744 --> 00:54:40,346
Your Majesty.
1053
00:54:40,347 --> 00:54:41,990
You'll be happy to know
1054
00:54:41,991 --> 00:54:44,835
that, just this morning
we discovered a new clue.
1055
00:54:44,836 --> 00:54:46,758
This chunk of coal.
1056
00:54:46,759 --> 00:54:48,121
What does it mean?
1057
00:54:48,122 --> 00:54:51,648
It's quite a mystery.
1058
00:54:51,649 --> 00:54:53,451
Is this going to be a problem?
1059
00:54:53,452 --> 00:54:54,922
Watson.
1060
00:54:54,935 --> 00:54:56,978
Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea.
1061
00:54:56,979 --> 00:54:59,943
Oh, yes, of course.
1062
00:54:59,944 --> 00:55:03,430
Mr. Holmes, the empire
is depending on you.
1063
00:55:03,431 --> 00:55:07,117
Your Majesty, I now
suspect two American women
1064
00:55:07,118 --> 00:55:10,163
are somehow involved in this plot.
1065
00:55:10,164 --> 00:55:11,474
Sorry.
1066
00:55:11,968 --> 00:55:13,610
Your Majesty,
1067
00:55:13,611 --> 00:55:16,615
do you think I could have
a picture of us together?
1068
00:55:16,616 --> 00:55:18,820
But who is going to take the photograph?
1069
00:55:18,821 --> 00:55:20,823
Oh, no, I'll take the photograph.
1070
00:55:20,824 --> 00:55:23,428
You see, it's a type
of a self-photograph.
1071
00:55:23,429 --> 00:55:25,872
I can take it, and I will be in it also.
1072
00:55:25,873 --> 00:55:28,838
You know what? I find, to take
the most attractive photographs,
1073
00:55:28,839 --> 00:55:30,482
you need to purse your lips together
1074
00:55:30,483 --> 00:55:32,645
like a duck-billed platypus.
1075
00:55:32,646 --> 00:55:36,653
Platypus face.
Chins up.
1076
00:55:36,654 --> 00:55:39,178
Hey.
Hey. Hey, girl.
1077
00:55:39,179 --> 00:55:41,062
You know, maybe over by the window.
1078
00:55:41,063 --> 00:55:44,508
The lighting's much better there.
Yes, yes, capital idea.
1079
00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:46,792
- Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am.
- Oh! Oh!
1080
00:55:46,793 --> 00:55:48,636
Ma'am! Your Majesty.
1081
00:55:48,637 --> 00:55:50,680
Oh, ma'am. Ma'am.
1082
00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:52,621
Oh, dear.
1083
00:55:53,085 --> 00:55:55,890
Tell me, Watson.
1084
00:55:55,891 --> 00:55:58,301
She's dead.
1085
00:55:58,896 --> 00:56:00,836
Dear God.
1086
00:56:02,303 --> 00:56:04,587
We've killed the Queen.
1087
00:56:04,588 --> 00:56:06,911
Are you all right, Your Majesty?
1088
00:56:06,912 --> 00:56:07,902
Yes.
1089
00:56:08,274 --> 00:56:09,957
- Yes, I'm all right.
- Are you sure?
1090
00:56:09,958 --> 00:56:11,600
Yes, I'm quite fine.
1091
00:56:11,601 --> 00:56:16,208
My lover, John Watson,
will take good care of me.
1092
00:56:16,209 --> 00:56:18,653
Why did you want that photograph?
1093
00:56:18,654 --> 00:56:20,977
I didn't want the photograph.
1094
00:56:20,978 --> 00:56:22,941
What are you talking about?
1095
00:56:22,942 --> 00:56:24,865
Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson?
1096
00:56:24,866 --> 00:56:26,788
I'm very, very safe.
1097
00:56:26,789 --> 00:56:29,714
She's so dead.
She's so dead.
1098
00:56:29,715 --> 00:56:30,916
- I know.
- Okay.
1099
00:56:30,917 --> 00:56:32,921
We'll shove her down the toilet
1100
00:56:32,922 --> 00:56:34,964
as if she was never here, and
we'll deny ever seeing her.
1101
00:56:34,965 --> 00:56:36,728
Right. Excellent.
1102
00:56:36,729 --> 00:56:39,894
Come on.
Come up.
1103
00:56:39,895 --> 00:56:43,220
Here we are.
Into the bathroom.
1104
00:56:43,221 --> 00:56:44,823
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1105
00:56:44,824 --> 00:56:46,305
What was the big bang?
1106
00:56:46,306 --> 00:56:47,788
We must buy some time.
1107
00:56:47,789 --> 00:56:49,151
Right.
Let's get her to the door.
1108
00:56:49,152 --> 00:56:50,915
Open this door!
Wait.
1109
00:56:50,916 --> 00:56:52,397
Hello. What do you want?
1110
00:56:52,398 --> 00:56:53,800
Ma'am, are you all right?
1111
00:56:53,801 --> 00:56:56,164
Yes, of course I'm fine.
Can't you see?
1112
00:56:56,165 --> 00:56:57,487
Yes, of course, ma'am.
I'm so sorry.
1113
00:56:57,488 --> 00:56:58,689
We've got it from here, boys. Thank you.
1114
00:56:58,690 --> 00:57:01,294
- We're good.
- Yes, sir.
1115
00:57:01,295 --> 00:57:02,616
The trunk.
Yes.
1116
00:57:02,617 --> 00:57:05,823
Yes, we'll mail her to Africa.
1117
00:57:05,824 --> 00:57:07,386
Come on, ma'am.
Sorry.
1118
00:57:07,387 --> 00:57:08,508
There we go.
1119
00:57:08,509 --> 00:57:09,830
Stuff her in there.
1120
00:57:09,831 --> 00:57:11,073
Really thrust.
1121
00:57:11,074 --> 00:57:13,237
Good. Good.
1122
00:57:13,238 --> 00:57:15,000
Good. Good.
1123
00:57:15,001 --> 00:57:16,643
- Hold on, Watson.
- Come on, boys.
1124
00:57:16,644 --> 00:57:18,607
Open the door!
1125
00:57:18,608 --> 00:57:20,490
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1126
00:57:20,491 --> 00:57:23,937
One, two, three. Watch your fingers.
1127
00:57:23,938 --> 00:57:25,981
Open this door immediately!
1128
00:57:25,982 --> 00:57:27,584
This is bad.
1129
00:57:27,585 --> 00:57:30,029
You know what we must do.
1130
00:57:30,030 --> 00:57:31,592
Grab your toolbox.
1131
00:57:31,593 --> 00:57:35,720
Let me in! I'm breaking down the door!
1132
00:57:35,721 --> 00:57:37,884
Bone saw.
Bone saw.
1133
00:57:37,885 --> 00:57:39,326
- Oh, God.
- Come on! Push! Come on, together!
1134
00:57:39,327 --> 00:57:42,172
Watson, toilet-sized chunks.
1135
00:57:42,173 --> 00:57:46,643
Put your back into it!
1136
00:57:46,862 --> 00:57:48,303
Good God!
1137
00:57:48,304 --> 00:57:51,469
What have you done?
1138
00:57:51,470 --> 00:57:54,210
Platypus lips.
1139
00:57:59,926 --> 00:58:04,935
Can you send me a copy
of the self-photograph?
1140
00:58:04,936 --> 00:58:07,046
Absolutely.
1141
00:58:07,260 --> 00:58:12,831
It will arrive
at the palace in about a week.
1142
00:58:12,832 --> 00:58:14,193
Gentlemen,
1143
00:58:14,194 --> 00:58:17,960
you have two days to stop this killer.
1144
00:58:17,961 --> 00:58:20,204
Yes, ma'am.
1145
00:58:20,205 --> 00:58:24,045
God save the Queen.
1146
00:58:26,617 --> 00:58:30,183
What a perfect day for a picnic
at London's greatest spectacle,
1147
00:58:30,184 --> 00:58:32,468
the Anglo-American Exhibition.
1148
00:58:32,469 --> 00:58:34,511
A celebration of that
special relationship
1149
00:58:34,512 --> 00:58:36,395
between our nation and yours.
1150
00:58:36,396 --> 00:58:38,479
Yes, such a special relationship
1151
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:40,523
between these two nations,
1152
00:58:40,524 --> 00:58:42,607
although I could never live
1153
00:58:42,608 --> 00:58:44,651
in a country with an unelected ruler
1154
00:58:44,652 --> 00:58:45,813
like the Queen.
1155
00:58:45,814 --> 00:58:47,817
Why ever not?
1156
00:58:47,818 --> 00:58:50,061
In America, we have democracy.
1157
00:58:50,062 --> 00:58:53,026
Our president is a person
our people have all chosen.
1158
00:58:53,027 --> 00:58:54,017
Mmm.
1159
00:58:54,030 --> 00:58:58,397
An assurance that only the finest
and most qualified man will lead,
1160
00:58:58,398 --> 00:59:02,445
not a wealthy tyrant who
cares for nothing but himself.
1161
00:59:02,446 --> 00:59:05,209
But you have the electoral
college, which surely will prevent
1162
00:59:05,210 --> 00:59:07,655
some trumped-up charlatan
from gaining power.
1163
00:59:07,656 --> 00:59:09,377
Not always, unfortunately.
1164
00:59:09,378 --> 00:59:11,622
It would be great
to have a strong businessman.
1165
00:59:11,623 --> 00:59:13,225
But a showman as well.
1166
00:59:13,226 --> 00:59:14,707
I love a good show.
1167
00:59:14,708 --> 00:59:16,338
America.
1168
00:59:16,833 --> 00:59:29,533
We gave you your freedom, and now
look what you've done with it.
1169
00:59:42,762 --> 00:59:44,524
Remember, Watson.
1170
00:59:44,525 --> 00:59:48,172
Relax them with small talk,
then begin the seduction.
1171
00:59:48,173 --> 00:59:49,894
I must say, she doesn't look
1172
00:59:49,895 --> 00:59:53,101
like she could be
an accessory to murder.
1173
00:59:53,102 --> 00:59:57,028
Well, looks can be deceiving.
1174
00:59:57,029 --> 00:59:59,553
Remember, we're here to seduce.
1175
00:59:59,554 --> 01:00:03,761
These physical displays of
strength will enchant them.
1176
01:00:03,762 --> 01:00:04,592
Ah.
1177
01:00:08,371 --> 01:00:09,852
I could use a bit of cocaine.
1178
01:00:09,853 --> 01:00:15,303
Did you bring a vial with you?
1179
01:00:15,304 --> 01:00:17,404
Very good.
1180
01:00:24,762 --> 01:00:27,326
Are you all right?
I'm... I'm exhausted.
1181
01:00:27,327 --> 01:00:29,811
There is one test I can employ
1182
01:00:29,812 --> 01:00:32,615
to prove she truly is
who she says she is.
1183
01:00:32,616 --> 01:00:34,099
Then do it, Holmes.
1184
01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:39,629
Employ your last test.
I simply must know.
1185
01:00:39,630 --> 01:00:41,032
Help!
John?
1186
01:00:41,033 --> 01:00:42,795
- This man has been taken ill.
- What?
1187
01:00:42,796 --> 01:00:43,626
Oh!
1188
01:00:45,241 --> 01:00:46,642
Let me see.
1189
01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:48,686
If only there were a doctor present.
1190
01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:52,012
Clearly, he's had a severe
blow to his occipital bone.
1191
01:00:52,013 --> 01:00:53,214
He's concussed.
1192
01:00:53,215 --> 01:00:55,620
And I am a doctor.
A doctor?
1193
01:00:55,621 --> 01:00:58,826
A woman doctor. What times we live in.
1194
01:00:58,827 --> 01:01:00,669
Could it be?
1195
01:01:00,670 --> 01:01:03,475
Is Grace truly a doctor?
1196
01:01:03,476 --> 01:01:05,999
Are her feelings of affection genuine?
1197
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,963
Then she's innocent.
1198
01:01:07,964 --> 01:01:09,325
Watson, get up.
1199
01:01:09,326 --> 01:01:10,688
We need to go see my brother.
1200
01:01:10,689 --> 01:01:15,096
I love you, Grace.
Oh!
1201
01:01:15,097 --> 01:01:17,701
The legendary Diogenes Men's Club.
1202
01:01:17,702 --> 01:01:20,226
Home of London's most awkward gentlemen
1203
01:01:20,227 --> 01:01:23,232
and my brother.
1204
01:01:23,233 --> 01:01:24,594
Holmes.
Mmm.
1205
01:01:24,595 --> 01:01:26,117
I can't believe you have a brother.
1206
01:01:26,118 --> 01:01:28,121
Yes, but we're nothing alike.
1207
01:01:28,122 --> 01:01:30,566
He's an arrogant man
who never appreciates
1208
01:01:30,567 --> 01:01:32,329
the people around him.
1209
01:01:32,330 --> 01:01:35,540
Follow me. Here.
1210
01:01:38,262 --> 01:01:41,632
Well, well, well.
1211
01:01:42,270 --> 01:01:45,635
So you are finally seeking
your brother's help.
1212
01:01:45,636 --> 01:01:47,798
I must say, I'm not surprised.
1213
01:01:47,799 --> 01:01:50,444
And this vague assembly
of limbs and fatty tissue,
1214
01:01:50,445 --> 01:01:51,967
I assume, is Dr. Watson.
1215
01:01:51,968 --> 01:01:52,958
Mmm.
1216
01:02:06,275 --> 01:02:10,923
So shall I get us started?
1217
01:02:10,924 --> 01:02:12,767
Watson, please.
1218
01:02:12,768 --> 01:02:14,810
We're in the middle of a conversation.
1219
01:02:14,811 --> 01:02:16,653
Can't you see?
1220
01:02:16,654 --> 01:02:18,497
When the two most brilliant
minds in all of England
1221
01:02:18,498 --> 01:02:19,860
have a fraternal bond,
1222
01:02:19,861 --> 01:02:21,984
words are an inefficiency.
1223
01:02:21,985 --> 01:02:24,549
We communicate without words, silently,
1224
01:02:24,550 --> 01:02:27,033
from giant brain to gianter brain.
1225
01:02:27,034 --> 01:02:28,837
Of course.
1226
01:02:28,838 --> 01:02:34,398
I'll join in as I see fit.
1227
01:02:34,569 --> 01:02:37,453
I can spare a few minutes
to solve your little mystery
1228
01:02:37,454 --> 01:02:40,579
and help quench your thirst
for public adulation.
1229
01:02:40,580 --> 01:02:43,064
My thirst is for logic.
1230
01:02:43,065 --> 01:02:47,031
I don't care what the public thinks
of London's best-loved detective,
1231
01:02:47,032 --> 01:02:48,273
Sherlock Holmes.
1232
01:02:48,274 --> 01:02:50,064
Thoughts.
1233
01:02:50,078 --> 01:02:52,081
Me-Me talky.
1234
01:02:52,082 --> 01:02:53,483
Me-Me talky.
1235
01:02:53,484 --> 01:02:55,047
You find killer.
1236
01:02:55,048 --> 01:02:58,253
Me-Me talky?
We find killer?
1237
01:02:58,254 --> 01:03:00,897
Watson, what are you trying to do?
1238
01:03:00,898 --> 01:03:02,180
Trying to brain-speak.
1239
01:03:02,181 --> 01:03:04,224
You're going to hurt yourself.
1240
01:03:04,225 --> 01:03:06,228
Uh, sorry.
1241
01:03:06,229 --> 01:03:08,713
Uh, perhaps the gentleman
would be more comfortable
1242
01:03:08,714 --> 01:03:11,558
in the companions' chamber.
1243
01:03:11,559 --> 01:03:15,125
Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be
comfortable here by the fire.
1244
01:03:15,126 --> 01:03:16,567
In the companions' chamber, sir.
1245
01:03:16,568 --> 01:03:17,890
Yes, fine. Of course.
1246
01:03:17,891 --> 01:03:19,774
Great idea.
Yeah, capital idea.
1247
01:03:19,775 --> 01:03:21,417
I'll be in the companions' room. Yes.
1248
01:03:21,418 --> 01:03:24,503
The equal companions' room,
should you need me.
1249
01:03:24,504 --> 01:03:27,704
It's just here.
1250
01:03:31,396 --> 01:03:33,199
Please enjoy the company
of your fellow companions.
1251
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:35,283
I see. Huh.
1252
01:03:35,284 --> 01:03:39,892
Balloons are happy,
but they're not alive.
1253
01:03:39,893 --> 01:03:42,313
Fair enough.
1254
01:03:46,024 --> 01:03:50,392
Who is this brilliant
nemesis capable of besting me?
1255
01:03:50,393 --> 01:03:53,838
If your nemesis
were truly smarter than you,
1256
01:03:53,839 --> 01:03:55,843
it could only be me.
1257
01:03:55,844 --> 01:03:58,167
And as I am not the killer,
one must conclude
1258
01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:01,533
that the killer did not,
nor could not, outwit you.
1259
01:04:01,534 --> 01:04:04,658
If the killer
is my intellectual inferior,
1260
01:04:04,659 --> 01:04:06,863
how has he predicted my every move?
1261
01:04:06,864 --> 01:04:08,586
The killer did not predict your actions.
1262
01:04:08,587 --> 01:04:10,830
Our murderer is a student of yours,
1263
01:04:10,831 --> 01:04:12,474
someone in your proximity.
1264
01:04:12,475 --> 01:04:14,638
Someone who could
observe you undetected.
1265
01:04:14,639 --> 01:04:17,203
Someone who knows you
better than anyone.
1266
01:04:17,204 --> 01:04:18,726
His mind radiates wisdom.
1267
01:04:18,727 --> 01:04:24,055
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
1268
01:04:24,056 --> 01:04:25,538
I am dying from anticipation.
1269
01:04:25,539 --> 01:04:26,941
What did your brother tell you, Holmes?
1270
01:04:26,942 --> 01:04:28,945
I believe I've cracked the case.
1271
01:04:28,946 --> 01:04:31,750
It was in front of me the
whole time, my dear Watson.
1272
01:04:31,751 --> 01:04:33,073
Oh, do share.
1273
01:04:33,074 --> 01:04:35,077
And ruin the suspense?
1274
01:04:35,078 --> 01:04:37,722
I just thought, since I
worked the case with you...
1275
01:04:37,723 --> 01:04:40,923
And we're here.
1276
01:04:41,890 --> 01:04:42,880
Now,
1277
01:04:43,494 --> 01:04:47,019
you're all wondering why
I gathered you here today.
1278
01:04:47,020 --> 01:04:50,425
Prepare yourself to be astonished.
1279
01:04:50,426 --> 01:04:51,828
The killer could only be a man
1280
01:04:51,829 --> 01:04:54,433
who knew my actions at every turn.
1281
01:04:54,434 --> 01:04:57,119
Who was present at every murder?
1282
01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:58,110
Hmm?
1283
01:04:58,522 --> 01:05:01,166
Who knows me better than anyone?
1284
01:05:01,167 --> 01:05:04,172
It was you who arranged
my birthday party
1285
01:05:04,173 --> 01:05:07,097
and the cake which contained
the first victim,
1286
01:05:07,098 --> 01:05:10,865
initiating the events
leading us to today.
1287
01:05:10,866 --> 01:05:15,816
Dr. Watson is the killer.
1288
01:05:16,797 --> 01:05:18,198
By studying my methods,
1289
01:05:18,199 --> 01:05:21,364
you created a fake crime
only you could solve.
1290
01:05:21,365 --> 01:05:24,010
Why? I was to be so impressed
1291
01:05:24,011 --> 01:05:26,855
that I would crown him co-detective.
1292
01:05:26,856 --> 01:05:29,540
He wanted to rewrite history
1293
01:05:29,541 --> 01:05:34,021
by becoming my partner.
1294
01:05:35,232 --> 01:05:38,437
Okay. Now the part about
how I could never have done it
1295
01:05:38,438 --> 01:05:40,521
and on to the surprising real killer.
1296
01:05:40,522 --> 01:05:42,124
I wonder who it's going to be.
1297
01:05:42,125 --> 01:05:44,409
When one eliminates the impossible,
1298
01:05:44,410 --> 01:05:47,294
whatever remains, however improbable,
1299
01:05:47,295 --> 01:05:49,658
is the truth.
1300
01:05:49,659 --> 01:05:52,303
But this is absurd.
1301
01:05:52,304 --> 01:05:53,867
Holmes, you must know in your heart...
1302
01:05:53,868 --> 01:05:55,910
The heart is for pumping blood.
1303
01:05:55,911 --> 01:05:58,876
The truth is the truth!
1304
01:05:58,877 --> 01:06:00,027
Truth
1305
01:06:00,721 --> 01:06:04,727
is that I have devoted my life to you.
1306
01:06:04,728 --> 01:06:06,250
And I was a fool to think
1307
01:06:06,251 --> 01:06:08,254
you would ever consider me
as a co-detective
1308
01:06:08,255 --> 01:06:13,584
when you're incapable of
thinking of me even as a friend!
1309
01:06:13,585 --> 01:06:15,788
Inspector Lestrade, take him.
1310
01:06:15,789 --> 01:06:17,071
Go on.
1311
01:06:17,072 --> 01:06:18,474
The man is your closest friend.
1312
01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:20,597
Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed.
1313
01:06:20,598 --> 01:06:22,480
You have no suspects.
1314
01:06:22,481 --> 01:06:25,086
The killer still threatens
to kill the Queen.
1315
01:06:25,087 --> 01:06:27,931
Is that a chance you're willing to take?
1316
01:06:27,932 --> 01:06:31,142
Take him.
What?
1317
01:06:33,142 --> 01:06:35,305
Do you see his propensity for violence?
1318
01:06:35,306 --> 01:06:37,790
- Do you still doubt me?
- Calm down.
1319
01:06:37,791 --> 01:06:43,520
I shall never again carry your
blasted magnifying glasses
1320
01:06:43,521 --> 01:06:46,005
or your jars of urine.
1321
01:06:46,006 --> 01:06:48,370
Why are we even saving these?
1322
01:06:48,371 --> 01:06:52,498
And you look stupid in that hat.
1323
01:06:52,499 --> 01:06:57,708
Your head was not meant for hats.
1324
01:06:57,709 --> 01:06:59,993
Unhand me! No!
1325
01:06:59,994 --> 01:07:03,920
I'll never forget you, John.
1326
01:07:03,921 --> 01:07:04,911
Why?
1327
01:07:05,283 --> 01:07:07,727
John Watson devoted his life to you,
1328
01:07:07,728 --> 01:07:09,570
and this is how you repay him?
1329
01:07:09,571 --> 01:07:13,377
Back to America with your
ham-dogs and hot-burgers.
1330
01:07:13,378 --> 01:07:16,183
At least, in America, our system's fair.
1331
01:07:16,184 --> 01:07:18,507
No citizen can be found guilty
1332
01:07:18,508 --> 01:07:23,717
till his case is heard by a jury
of white property-owning men.
1333
01:07:23,718 --> 01:07:30,428
Millie, surely, you must understand.
1334
01:07:35,421 --> 01:07:37,223
Fine, go!
1335
01:07:37,224 --> 01:07:40,188
I'm the greatest detective
who ever lived.
1336
01:07:40,189 --> 01:07:42,633
You're welcome for solving this case.
1337
01:07:42,634 --> 01:07:47,284
Sherlock abandons Watson!
1338
01:08:01,510 --> 01:08:06,780
Sherlock a washed up loser!
1339
01:08:38,981 --> 01:08:40,601
A tear?
1340
01:08:41,787 --> 01:08:45,467
What is this tear?
1341
01:08:46,275 --> 01:08:50,735
I... I can't stop it.
1342
01:08:54,370 --> 01:09:01,850
What is this warm feeling in my chest?
1343
01:09:03,348 --> 01:09:07,795
♪ Why am I reeling in confusion?
1344
01:09:07,796 --> 01:09:11,442
♪ What is this fever in my head?
1345
01:09:11,443 --> 01:09:12,965
♪ Is it pox?
1346
01:09:12,966 --> 01:09:14,407
♪ Maybe gout
1347
01:09:14,408 --> 01:09:17,414
♪ I can't seem to work it out
1348
01:09:17,415 --> 01:09:19,777
♪ And why
1349
01:09:19,778 --> 01:09:23,625
♪ Don't I feel triumphant?
1350
01:09:23,626 --> 01:09:26,471
♪ And why does it seem less than right
1351
01:09:26,472 --> 01:09:29,476
♪ That Watson's going to hang tonight
1352
01:09:29,477 --> 01:09:34,646
♪ And gasp and thrash
and choke until he's dead?
1353
01:09:34,647 --> 01:09:38,253
♪ What is this strange sensation
1354
01:09:38,254 --> 01:09:40,938
♪ Where did I go wrong?
1355
01:09:40,939 --> 01:09:44,144
♪ Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess?
1356
01:09:44,145 --> 01:09:46,428
♪ Soon my neck will snap in half
1357
01:09:46,429 --> 01:09:49,154
♪ I guess
♪ And yet I know somehow
1358
01:09:49,155 --> 01:09:52,721
♪ And yet right now
♪ If he could hear right now
1359
01:09:52,722 --> 01:09:57,770
♪ I would still forgive him
1360
01:09:57,771 --> 01:10:01,131
♪ More or less
1361
01:10:01,418 --> 01:10:04,302
♪ Please, I don't know
Upon whom else to call
1362
01:10:04,303 --> 01:10:07,148
♪ Nothing is making any sense at all
1363
01:10:07,149 --> 01:10:10,715
♪ Speak! I need your voice
To hear your voice
1364
01:10:10,716 --> 01:10:16,766
♪ So sweet, so pure, so wise
1365
01:10:17,970 --> 01:10:21,735
♪ Sometimes the irrational
1366
01:10:21,736 --> 01:10:25,342
♪ Is truer than the rational
1367
01:10:25,343 --> 01:10:28,589
♪ The heart can have its reasons
1368
01:10:28,590 --> 01:10:32,917
♪ Which the head knows nothing of
1369
01:10:32,918 --> 01:10:35,922
♪ Your brain says Watson's guilty
1370
01:10:35,923 --> 01:10:40,091
♪ But a stronger force says
"No, he's not"
1371
01:10:40,092 --> 01:10:41,894
♪ What is that force?
1372
01:10:41,895 --> 01:10:43,897
♪ It's... It's...
♪ Yes? What?
1373
01:10:43,898 --> 01:10:47,464
♪ It's love...
♪ Love?
1374
01:10:47,465 --> 01:10:51,392
♪ It's love
♪ It's love
1375
01:10:51,393 --> 01:10:53,516
♪ It's love
♪ It's love
1376
01:10:53,517 --> 01:10:56,401
♪ It's love
♪ It's love ♪
1377
01:10:56,402 --> 01:10:57,884
My God.
1378
01:10:57,885 --> 01:10:59,567
Did I push Watson away
1379
01:10:59,568 --> 01:11:02,373
because I feared losing him to Grace?
1380
01:11:02,374 --> 01:11:06,100
Somehow, I know in my heart...
1381
01:11:06,101 --> 01:11:08,224
Watson is innocent!
1382
01:11:08,225 --> 01:11:12,191
♪ Time to go and save
♪ Come save me now
1383
01:11:12,192 --> 01:11:21,048
♪ The man I love ♪
♪ The man I love ♪
1384
01:11:21,049 --> 01:11:22,519
Watson!
1385
01:11:22,532 --> 01:11:25,737
I discovered my emotions,
and I'm only 46.
1386
01:11:25,738 --> 01:11:29,108
Hang! Hang! Hang!
1387
01:11:32,231 --> 01:11:34,011
Oh, God.
1388
01:11:34,275 --> 01:11:36,558
Hang Dr. Watson!
Hang Dr. Watson!
1389
01:11:36,559 --> 01:11:39,122
The dogs seem really unnecessary.
1390
01:11:39,123 --> 01:11:40,913
Sherlock.
1391
01:11:41,689 --> 01:11:42,519
Oh.
1392
01:11:43,051 --> 01:11:45,141
It's you.
1393
01:11:45,295 --> 01:11:49,295
You've brought cake.
1394
01:11:54,152 --> 01:11:56,396
Watson! My brother!
1395
01:11:56,397 --> 01:11:58,359
Watson, where are you?
1396
01:11:58,360 --> 01:11:59,682
Where...
1397
01:11:59,683 --> 01:12:02,563
I'm too late.
1398
01:12:06,095 --> 01:12:07,565
Clever.
1399
01:12:07,698 --> 01:12:11,228
Very, very clever.
1400
01:12:17,196 --> 01:12:19,760
You were always so clever,
1401
01:12:19,761 --> 01:12:22,926
and I never appreciated it.
1402
01:12:22,927 --> 01:12:25,090
But it's not too late to make amends.
1403
01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:26,561
Watson!
1404
01:12:26,614 --> 01:12:34,308
I shouldn't have wasted
all my time singing!
1405
01:12:34,309 --> 01:12:35,991
Ah! Grimy news kids.
1406
01:12:35,992 --> 01:12:37,794
I desperately need your help.
1407
01:12:37,795 --> 01:12:39,638
Dr. Watson's in grave danger.
1408
01:12:39,639 --> 01:12:41,240
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
1409
01:12:41,241 --> 01:12:42,804
Because of you, you wank!
1410
01:12:42,805 --> 01:12:44,046
I know.
1411
01:12:44,047 --> 01:12:45,809
But I know of a way to save him.
1412
01:12:45,810 --> 01:12:48,054
Please, please help me.
1413
01:12:48,055 --> 01:12:54,346
I must find a way
to the docks immediately.
1414
01:12:54,347 --> 01:12:55,828
"Moriarty's daughter
1415
01:12:55,829 --> 01:12:58,033
"did the one thing Moriarty never could.
1416
01:12:58,034 --> 01:13:02,681
"She defeated Sherlock Holmes
and assassinated the Queen.
1417
01:13:02,682 --> 01:13:05,326
"Sherlock Holmes,
the man whom I regarded
1418
01:13:05,327 --> 01:13:10,416
"as the best and the wisest
man whom I would ever know
1419
01:13:10,417 --> 01:13:13,307
"was a fraud."
1420
01:13:16,670 --> 01:13:18,312
It is done.
1421
01:13:18,313 --> 01:13:21,397
A devilish plan worthy of your father.
1422
01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:26,206
The last book in the Sherlock
Holmes canon is complete,
1423
01:13:26,207 --> 01:13:29,252
The Case of the Defeated Detective.
1424
01:13:29,253 --> 01:13:32,458
Daddy will be so proud.
1425
01:13:32,459 --> 01:13:34,061
Sherlock will be remembered
1426
01:13:34,062 --> 01:13:37,067
as the man who failed
to protect the Queen.
1427
01:13:37,068 --> 01:13:38,791
History shall be rewritten
1428
01:13:38,792 --> 01:13:43,238
at the hand of his
loyal partner, Dr. Watson.
1429
01:13:43,239 --> 01:13:45,162
I've done your bidding.
1430
01:13:45,163 --> 01:13:47,486
Now set me free.
1431
01:13:47,487 --> 01:13:49,932
You're gonna die here.
1432
01:13:49,933 --> 01:13:51,494
You gave me your word.
1433
01:13:51,495 --> 01:13:53,097
You swore on the life of the Queen.
1434
01:13:53,098 --> 01:13:56,824
I'm gonna kill the Queen,
you big eejit. Boys!
1435
01:13:56,825 --> 01:13:58,788
Mrs. Hudson is the killer?
Mmm-hmm.
1436
01:13:58,789 --> 01:13:59,990
Gorblimey!
1437
01:13:59,991 --> 01:14:01,474
How'd you work that out?
1438
01:14:01,475 --> 01:14:03,758
Why, it was Watson who told me.
1439
01:14:03,759 --> 01:14:06,322
You see, beet sugar.
1440
01:14:06,323 --> 01:14:09,168
Mrs. Hudson's family recipe
and Watson's favorite.
1441
01:14:09,169 --> 01:14:10,771
He never would have left crumbs behind
1442
01:14:10,772 --> 01:14:12,614
unless he was leaving me a clue.
1443
01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:16,101
For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's
origins are not so humble.
1444
01:14:16,102 --> 01:14:19,828
She is none other than the daughter
of Professor James Moriarty.
1445
01:14:19,829 --> 01:14:21,392
No, it ain't possible.
1446
01:14:21,393 --> 01:14:24,637
You see, Mrs. Hudson
never knew her father.
1447
01:14:24,638 --> 01:14:26,201
He was never present.
1448
01:14:26,202 --> 01:14:28,003
To gain his love,
1449
01:14:28,004 --> 01:14:29,927
she tried to pull off
the greatest crime ever.
1450
01:14:29,928 --> 01:14:32,933
Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes.
1451
01:14:32,934 --> 01:14:36,380
She took a job at my house
in order to study my methods,
1452
01:14:36,381 --> 01:14:39,706
then used a network of patsies
to execute her plans.
1453
01:14:39,707 --> 01:14:42,631
However, it wasn't until
I understood feelings
1454
01:14:42,632 --> 01:14:44,635
that I understood her motive,
1455
01:14:44,636 --> 01:14:47,441
her need for her father's love.
1456
01:14:47,442 --> 01:14:50,607
She would gain it by
eliminating his greatest enemy,
1457
01:14:50,608 --> 01:14:51,438
me.
1458
01:14:52,251 --> 01:14:56,378
And tonight, she will commit
her boldest crime yet,
1459
01:14:56,379 --> 01:14:59,904
killing the Queen here!
1460
01:14:59,905 --> 01:15:01,748
The Titanic.
1461
01:15:01,749 --> 01:15:03,751
The marvel of London.
1462
01:15:03,752 --> 01:15:07,759
A new castle, which runs on coal.
1463
01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:10,445
Your Majesty, may I
introduce Lieutenant Morgan.
1464
01:15:10,446 --> 01:15:12,208
Lieutenant.
1465
01:15:12,209 --> 01:15:14,573
First Officer Carter.
1466
01:15:14,574 --> 01:15:17,097
- Your Majesty.
- First Officer.
1467
01:15:17,098 --> 01:15:19,702
Look, Hudson's goons.
1468
01:15:19,703 --> 01:15:22,908
- Create a diversion.
- You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes.
1469
01:15:22,909 --> 01:15:24,150
We'll take care of this lot.
1470
01:15:24,151 --> 01:15:25,954
Come on, you tom tit!
1471
01:15:25,955 --> 01:15:29,480
You ain't bigger than a
couple of powder monkeys.
1472
01:15:29,481 --> 01:15:31,284
Is there a problem, boys?
1473
01:15:31,285 --> 01:15:33,889
Think we can
take them, lads. Aye?
1474
01:15:33,890 --> 01:15:36,053
Walk away now, and I
promise you won't get hurt.
1475
01:15:36,054 --> 01:15:38,698
A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies?
1476
01:15:38,699 --> 01:15:41,759
American ladies.
1477
01:15:45,071 --> 01:15:47,641
Not my eyes!
1478
01:15:51,203 --> 01:15:53,927
I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson.
1479
01:15:53,928 --> 01:15:56,612
I'm gonna crush your head.
1480
01:15:56,613 --> 01:15:59,537
There's gonna be brains everywhere.
1481
01:15:59,538 --> 01:16:02,142
And I'll not be cleaning up after.
1482
01:16:02,143 --> 01:16:03,665
I know you're threatening me,
1483
01:16:03,666 --> 01:16:06,030
but I can't understand
a word you're saying.
1484
01:16:06,031 --> 01:16:08,555
You're staying, Dr. Watson,
1485
01:16:08,556 --> 01:16:12,362
but I'll be on my way to America
by the time the bomb explodes.
1486
01:16:12,363 --> 01:16:13,805
Sherlock will save me.
1487
01:16:13,806 --> 01:16:15,729
You'll see.
I'll see.
1488
01:16:15,730 --> 01:16:17,572
He won't let me down.
1489
01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:21,339
He won't.
He's my best friend!
1490
01:16:21,340 --> 01:16:23,130
Dollface!
1491
01:16:27,311 --> 01:16:29,034
Come on, boys.
1492
01:16:29,035 --> 01:16:31,879
The bomb goes off in 10 minutes.
Sherlock!
1493
01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:33,670
Sherlock!
1494
01:16:34,605 --> 01:16:36,768
Help! Help!
1495
01:16:36,769 --> 01:16:38,559
Sherlock!
1496
01:16:39,054 --> 01:16:40,204
Help!
1497
01:16:41,859 --> 01:16:43,329
Watson!
1498
01:16:45,346 --> 01:16:49,272
Oh, God, if you save me,
I'll never touch myself again.
1499
01:16:49,273 --> 01:16:51,717
Watson!
Oh, Sherlock.
1500
01:16:51,718 --> 01:16:53,480
You've come for me.
I knew you would.
1501
01:16:53,481 --> 01:16:55,805
Watson, good news.
1502
01:16:55,806 --> 01:16:58,009
You're innocent.
1503
01:16:58,010 --> 01:16:59,852
Yes. I know.
1504
01:16:59,853 --> 01:17:02,056
Oh.
Thank you.
1505
01:17:02,057 --> 01:17:03,980
Can you forgive me?
Of course.
1506
01:17:03,981 --> 01:17:06,545
Now, be a good chap, and get
me out of this damn thing
1507
01:17:06,546 --> 01:17:08,388
before it crushes my skull.
1508
01:17:08,389 --> 01:17:10,031
Yes? There's a good chap.
Go on.
1509
01:17:10,032 --> 01:17:12,636
I won't leave you.
Not again.
1510
01:17:12,637 --> 01:17:15,001
That's a lovely sentiment,
but I really need you
1511
01:17:15,002 --> 01:17:17,045
to free me from this gear right now.
1512
01:17:17,046 --> 01:17:19,650
Emotions are spewing from my heart.
1513
01:17:19,651 --> 01:17:21,333
Pull yourself together.
Okay.
1514
01:17:21,334 --> 01:17:23,417
Stop crying.
1515
01:17:23,418 --> 01:17:25,020
Because we must get the Queen
and everyone else off this ship.
1516
01:17:25,021 --> 01:17:26,904
You see, Hudson has planted a bomb.
1517
01:17:26,905 --> 01:17:28,747
A time bomb, you see?
1518
01:17:28,748 --> 01:17:30,911
You must free me.
Do you feel my heart ticking?
1519
01:17:30,912 --> 01:17:32,915
Get me off this fucking wheel!
1520
01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:35,681
All my dreams are coming true.
1521
01:17:35,682 --> 01:17:40,008
In just two minutes, my bomb
will go off, killing the Queen.
1522
01:17:40,009 --> 01:17:42,253
Sherlock Holmes will go down in history
1523
01:17:42,254 --> 01:17:45,779
as the worst detective
the world has ever known.
1524
01:17:45,780 --> 01:17:51,270
And the name Moriarty
will live on forever!
1525
01:17:51,271 --> 01:17:52,741
Father,
1526
01:17:53,035 --> 01:17:55,798
soon, we shall be together again.
1527
01:17:55,799 --> 01:17:59,969
- In America!
- Yeah!
1528
01:18:05,738 --> 01:18:08,503
The bomb will detonate in one minute.
1529
01:18:08,504 --> 01:18:11,629
Where could it possibly be?
1530
01:18:11,630 --> 01:18:12,780
Wait.
1531
01:18:13,032 --> 01:18:14,955
That kettle drum.
1532
01:18:14,956 --> 01:18:18,081
Those are only ever used
in mounted cavalry formations,
1533
01:18:18,082 --> 01:18:20,165
never in a Marine band.
1534
01:18:20,166 --> 01:18:21,487
Perhaps...
1535
01:18:21,488 --> 01:18:24,132
The bomb is in the drum.
Very good, Watson.
1536
01:18:24,133 --> 01:18:25,936
But the Queen is standing
just beside it.
1537
01:18:25,937 --> 01:18:27,418
She'll be blown to smithereens.
1538
01:18:27,419 --> 01:18:30,625
But how to defuse it in time?
1539
01:18:30,626 --> 01:18:34,392
Time remaining until
bomb detonation, 55 seconds.
1540
01:18:34,393 --> 01:18:37,959
Estimated blast radius
from bomb, 17 feet.
1541
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:41,165
Time required to move queen
to safety, 12 seconds.
1542
01:18:41,166 --> 01:18:43,049
Solution, move through crowd,
1543
01:18:43,050 --> 01:18:46,254
see Millie for the first time,
forget about bomb...
1544
01:18:46,255 --> 01:18:47,085
No.
1545
01:18:51,345 --> 01:18:53,308
Time remaining, 37 seconds.
1546
01:18:53,309 --> 01:18:55,873
Solution, shoot water main
to douse bomb,
1547
01:18:55,874 --> 01:18:57,877
remember Millie at the park,
forget about bomb.
1548
01:18:57,878 --> 01:19:03,447
No, I forgot about the bomb!
1549
01:19:03,448 --> 01:19:06,133
Watson, what are you doing in my brain?
1550
01:19:06,134 --> 01:19:07,575
I'm doing it.
1551
01:19:07,576 --> 01:19:10,180
I'm communicating without words.
1552
01:19:10,181 --> 01:19:12,866
I can't focus. I was
trying to formulate a plan,
1553
01:19:12,867 --> 01:19:14,869
and I kept getting off track.
1554
01:19:14,870 --> 01:19:17,474
Holmes, no, you don't.
Snap out of it.
1555
01:19:17,475 --> 01:19:19,277
I can't. I'm too emotional.
1556
01:19:19,278 --> 01:19:21,923
Look behind me. The Queen's
being blown to bits.
1557
01:19:21,924 --> 01:19:23,605
You have to take control.
1558
01:19:23,606 --> 01:19:25,809
You must be detective for both of us.
1559
01:19:25,810 --> 01:19:27,120
Right.
1560
01:19:28,496 --> 01:19:30,057
I know what I must do.
1561
01:19:30,058 --> 01:19:32,062
Estimated blast radius,
1562
01:19:32,063 --> 01:19:33,945
20... No, 30 feet?
1563
01:19:33,946 --> 01:19:35,388
Account for ship's movement.
1564
01:19:35,389 --> 01:19:37,071
Wait. Is that a four or a seven?
1565
01:19:37,072 --> 01:19:38,955
Math is so hard. Hold on.
1566
01:19:38,956 --> 01:19:40,918
What does that "X" mean?
Or is that a plus?
1567
01:19:40,919 --> 01:19:42,722
What is that thing?
Angle of approach?
1568
01:19:42,723 --> 01:19:44,245
Oh, I don't know how to do angles.
1569
01:19:44,246 --> 01:19:45,407
Should have listened more in school.
1570
01:19:45,408 --> 01:19:48,934
Oh, screw it. Charge!
1571
01:19:48,935 --> 01:19:50,336
Out of my way!
1572
01:19:50,337 --> 01:19:51,487
Move!
1573
01:19:52,021 --> 01:19:54,664
Nine, eight...
1574
01:19:54,665 --> 01:19:56,187
Coming through!
1575
01:19:56,188 --> 01:19:58,993
So sorry!
...seven...
1576
01:19:58,994 --> 01:20:00,435
Come on.
1577
01:20:00,436 --> 01:20:01,838
Move your tuchis!
1578
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:04,579
Sorry, friend!
1579
01:20:04,845 --> 01:20:06,475
...five,
1580
01:20:06,768 --> 01:20:08,238
four...
1581
01:20:10,816 --> 01:20:12,606
...two...
1582
01:20:16,868 --> 01:20:18,808
Aw, shit!
1583
01:20:23,881 --> 01:20:25,243
Huzzah.
1584
01:20:25,244 --> 01:20:27,327
Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes.
1585
01:20:27,328 --> 01:20:30,894
Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic.
1586
01:20:30,895 --> 01:20:33,137
- Huzzah!
- Hurrah for Sherlock!
1587
01:20:33,138 --> 01:20:34,821
Bravo, Sherlock!
1588
01:20:34,822 --> 01:20:36,384
Sherlock Holmes
was right about everything!
1589
01:20:36,385 --> 01:20:38,508
Hip hip hooray!
1590
01:20:38,509 --> 01:20:41,433
Thank you. Thank you.
1591
01:20:41,434 --> 01:20:44,319
But I could never have
done it without Dr. Watson.
1592
01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:48,727
Oh, no. Let Watson's name
be forever associated
1593
01:20:48,728 --> 01:20:50,972
with the Titanic.
1594
01:20:50,973 --> 01:20:54,939
So, when you think of your friends
and relatives on board the Titanic,
1595
01:20:54,940 --> 01:20:56,582
just remember,
1596
01:20:56,583 --> 01:21:01,271
Dr. John H. Watson put them there.
1597
01:21:01,272 --> 01:21:03,275
Hooray for Watson!
1598
01:21:03,276 --> 01:21:06,601
Bloody good we didn't hang him.
1599
01:21:06,602 --> 01:21:08,862
Dr. Watson,
1600
01:21:08,927 --> 01:21:10,689
you saved us.
1601
01:21:10,690 --> 01:21:12,413
Thank you.
1602
01:21:12,414 --> 01:21:22,434
It has been my pleasure
to serve you, Your Majesty.
1603
01:21:31,409 --> 01:21:33,669
No, Millie.
1604
01:21:43,392 --> 01:21:45,515
I have a confession to make.
1605
01:21:45,516 --> 01:21:48,200
I'm not actually in love with you.
1606
01:21:48,201 --> 01:21:50,445
In order to conclude my investigation,
1607
01:21:50,446 --> 01:21:54,052
it was imperative that I
understood what love felt like.
1608
01:21:54,053 --> 01:21:56,657
I'm sorry to have led you on.
1609
01:21:56,658 --> 01:21:58,339
I have a confession as well.
1610
01:21:58,340 --> 01:21:59,983
I was also not in love.
1611
01:21:59,984 --> 01:22:01,586
I was conducting an experiment
1612
01:22:01,587 --> 01:22:04,431
on how easy it is
to manipulate the male ego.
1613
01:22:04,432 --> 01:22:07,678
What?
I'm sorry I led you on.
1614
01:22:07,679 --> 01:22:10,082
Well, I have another confession.
1615
01:22:10,083 --> 01:22:12,727
Hmm. I was just pretending
to have a big ego
1616
01:22:12,728 --> 01:22:15,532
so as to make you think that
your experiment was working
1617
01:22:15,533 --> 01:22:17,697
so that I could conclude
my experiment on you.
1618
01:22:17,698 --> 01:22:19,620
Well, I had to lead you on
1619
01:22:19,621 --> 01:22:22,105
because I was doing an
experiment about how men think
1620
01:22:22,106 --> 01:22:24,109
they can manipulate female scientists
while they're doing experiments.
1621
01:22:24,110 --> 01:22:31,760
Well, I have another confession to make.
1622
01:22:37,575 --> 01:22:41,381
You will be shocked to learn
that was my first kiss.
1623
01:22:41,382 --> 01:22:43,947
Mine as well, and we've
already mastered it.
1624
01:22:43,948 --> 01:22:45,309
Yes, indeed.
1625
01:22:45,310 --> 01:22:47,152
All aboard!
1626
01:22:47,153 --> 01:22:49,757
She sails in 20 minutes!
1627
01:22:49,758 --> 01:22:51,721
Hurry, everyone!
Step lively!
1628
01:22:51,722 --> 01:22:54,406
Enjoy your trip
on the safest ship to sail.
1629
01:22:54,407 --> 01:22:55,809
Goodbye.
1630
01:22:55,810 --> 01:22:57,332
Farewell, Grace.
1631
01:22:57,333 --> 01:22:58,574
Goodbye, Millie.
1632
01:22:58,575 --> 01:23:01,140
Make sure you get plenty of bed rest.
1633
01:23:01,141 --> 01:23:02,822
There's a good chance you're pregnant.
1634
01:23:02,823 --> 01:23:03,985
I hope so.
1635
01:23:03,986 --> 01:23:07,070
From...
From the kissing?
1636
01:23:07,071 --> 01:23:09,961
Yes.
Oh, yes.
1637
01:23:10,198 --> 01:23:11,879
What a grand ship.
1638
01:23:11,880 --> 01:23:12,870
Yes.
1639
01:23:13,002 --> 01:23:15,582
Watson, look.
1640
01:23:15,928 --> 01:23:18,452
It's Billy Zane.
1641
01:23:18,453 --> 01:23:20,243
Sherlock.
1642
01:23:21,218 --> 01:23:24,343
Wow.
He's breathtaking.
1643
01:23:24,344 --> 01:23:30,394
Where's the bar on this canoe?
1644
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:32,599
Holmes.
Mmm.
1645
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,924
I believe I may have solved
the one mystery
1646
01:23:34,925 --> 01:23:38,249
which has baffled you all these years.
1647
01:23:38,250 --> 01:23:39,400
What?
1648
01:23:43,180 --> 01:23:46,230
Would you mind?
1649
01:23:46,587 --> 01:23:47,417
Ah.
1650
01:23:47,868 --> 01:23:49,110
Do you like it?
1651
01:23:49,111 --> 01:23:51,595
Let's see here. Huh?
1652
01:23:51,596 --> 01:23:53,638
Oh, it suits you.
Mmm.
1653
01:23:53,639 --> 01:23:56,123
I think it's perfect.
Really?
1654
01:23:56,124 --> 01:23:59,651
You're not just saying that?
No, I'm not just saying it.
1655
01:23:59,652 --> 01:24:01,814
Good.
Thank you, Watson.
1656
01:24:01,815 --> 01:24:03,698
And I have something for you as well.
1657
01:24:03,699 --> 01:24:06,142
No. No.
Please. Step over here.
1658
01:24:06,143 --> 01:24:10,430
Why?
I don't deserve anything.
1659
01:24:10,431 --> 01:24:12,315
My dear Watson.
1660
01:24:12,316 --> 01:24:14,117
What do you think?
1661
01:24:14,118 --> 01:24:17,168
It's beautiful.
1662
01:24:43,375 --> 01:24:48,342
Telegram for Professor Moriarty.
1663
01:24:48,343 --> 01:24:50,293
Professor?
1664
01:24:56,800 --> 01:25:00,640
Boy, who sent this?
118173
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