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1
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,006
- Hey. What are you doing?
- Hi.
2
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:10,426
Well, you know, I was thinking
of moving the couch over here.
3
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,011
Why would you want to do that?
4
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,638
So that there would be a decent place
for me to sit?
5
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:20,185
- Rach, there is a decent place.
- And your lap does not count.
6
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,815
- Okay? Come on, help me move this.
- No, no, no.
7
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,275
- No?
- No.
8
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,193
Rosita does not move.
9
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,741
I'm sorry. Rosita? As in...?
10
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,243
As in "Rosita does not move."
11
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,620
Joey, it's just a chair.
What's the big deal?
12
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:42,541
The big deal is that it's the exact equal
distance from the bathroom to the kitchen...
13
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:47,629
...and it's at the perfect angle so you
don't get any glare coming off of Stevie.
14
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,090
Stevie the TV?
15
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,636
- Is there a problem?
- No.
16
00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,099
Oh, what does he know?
17
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:02,352
Come on, Rosita.
Us chicas gotta stick together.
18
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,689
[GRUNTS]
19
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,775
Ow!
20
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,238
You bitch.
21
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,029
Hey, Ross?
22
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,198
So I was checking out
the real-estate section.
23
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,659
- Yeah.
- Look at this.
24
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,661
Oh, looks like Mom and Dad's house.
25
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,081
Oh, it even has a tree
with a broken limb out front.
26
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,709
And the, uh, window in the attic...
27
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,796
Oh, my God.
28
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,258
What? What happened
to the window in the attic?
29
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,969
I can't believe Mom and Dad
are selling the house.
30
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,929
I can't believe they didn't even tell us.
31
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,391
I can't believe I still don't know
what happened to the window in the attic.
32
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,894
Okay, come on.
I'll buy you a new one, all right?
33
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:29,356
We'll go down to the store right now
and we'll get you a new chair.
34
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,112
She's not even cold yet.
35
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,992
But don't you think Rosita
would've wanted you to move on?
36
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:44,788
I mean, you know, she did always
put your comfort first.
37
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,375
That's true.
38
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,003
Wow.
39
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,592
I can't believe we have to say goodbye
to the house we grew up in.
40
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:59,636
Man, some stranger's
gonna be living in my room.
41
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:03,265
Well, after 15 years of Mom and Dad
keeping it as a shrine to you...
42
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,809
...it's time the velvet ropes came down.
43
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,228
They kept your room a while.
44
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:13,192
Oh, please. Dad turned my room into
a gym 20 minutes after I moved out.
45
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:17,529
And I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack
of Victoria's Secret catalogs?
46
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,989
Not a gym.
47
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,202
- Come on. You know they love you.
- As much as they love you?
48
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:27,539
I was their firstborn. They thought
she was barren. It's not my fault.
49
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,586
Ugh. I hate this year.
50
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,504
What's wrong with this year?
51
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:37,424
It's already February
and I've only given two massages...
52
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:40,510
...and they were both
the worst tippers in the world.
53
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:42,137
That was me and Ross.
54
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,433
Oh, that's right.
55
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,769
If you want to pick up some extra cash...
56
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:52,481
...some friends of mine made good money
in college doing telemarketing.
57
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,150
Yeah, it'd probably be better
than the last telephone job I had.
58
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,195
You know, I probably won't have to say
"spank" as much.
59
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,575
What?
60
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,870
Oh, yeah, like you never called.
61
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,588
So, basically, this is very easy.
You read from the script...
62
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,341
...and try to sell as much toner
as you possibly can.
63
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,218
Okay, I can do that.
64
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,846
- Oh, by the way, I love my office.
- Ha, ha.
65
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,141
- Why don't we do a trial run?
- Oh, okay.
66
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,687
Um, all right.
67
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:35,023
Hi, this is Phoebe
from Empire Office Supplies.
68
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,317
Can I speak to your supply manager,
please?
69
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,069
I'm the supply manager.
70
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,488
Um, okay. I'd like to talk to you
about your toner needs.
71
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,866
- We don't need any toner.
- Well, I'm sorry to bother you. Bye-bye.
72
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,661
Yeah, you're right. This is easy.
73
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,580
Okay. What was wrong with that call?
74
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,291
Oh, well, all right.
75
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,919
Um, no offense,
but you were kind of rude.
76
00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,424
They're always gonna tell you
they don't need toner, but that's okay.
77
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:01,967
Because whatever they say...
78
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,386
...you can find the answer to it,
here in the script.
79
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,723
- Oh.
- So I think you're ready to sell toner.
80
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,142
- Do you have any last questions?
- No.
81
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,894
Oh, wait, yes, I do.
I do have one question:
82
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,313
What is toner?
83
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,109
Joey?
84
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,404
Joe?
85
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,744
Full bag?
86
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,706
Beer's still cold.
87
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,169
Something terrible
must have happened here.
88
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,429
Oh, no, no, no.
89
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,060
Stevie, I was never here.
90
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,691
ROSS: Dad?
JACK: I'm here.
91
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,818
- Hey.
- Hi.
92
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:06,323
God, it seems like just yesterday you guys
used to come out to watch me work.
93
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,867
Dad, we can't believe
you're selling the house.
94
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,244
It's time for a new family
to start their memories here.
95
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:14,456
And hopefully their check will clear
before they find the crack...
96
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,459
...in the foundation
and the asbestos in the ceiling.
97
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,339
Let's just grab our stuff
and get the hell out of here.
98
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,342
I'm sorry we can't store
your childhood things anymore.
99
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,720
Oh, it's okay. I can't wait to see
everything again. All the memories.
100
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,806
I don't know what's in the boxes
down here.
101
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:34,726
But I do know that there are six or seven
Easy-Bake Ovens in the attic.
102
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,771
I used to love to play restaurant.
103
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:41,066
Yeah, not as much as you loved to play
"uncooked batter eater."
104
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:46,655
Hey. It is unreasonable to expect a child
to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies.
105
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,118
So I think your boxes are over here.
106
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:52,536
ROSS:
Oh, great.
107
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,454
Hey...
108
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,665
...Dad, whose cigarettes are these?
109
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,335
I don't know.
110
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,713
They must be your mother's.
111
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:08,427
But please, please don't ask her.
I'll throw these away.
112
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,559
Cool. Dad, my report cards.
113
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,394
Hey, check this out. Dad.
114
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:22,899
Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym...
115
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,575
Ooh, my rock polisher.
116
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,038
- Uh-oh.
- What?
117
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,749
You know how the garage
floods every spring?
118
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:43,086
How are you ever gonna sell this place?
119
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,173
I think I accidentally
used Monica's boxes...
120
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,800
...to keep the water away
from the Porsche.
121
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,806
Oh, no, Dad. Dad?
122
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,183
What the...?
123
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,185
Oh, God.
124
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,562
Everything's ruined.
125
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,023
Dad, she's gonna be crushed.
126
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,985
You don't secretly smoke, do you?
127
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,405
No.
128
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,616
So it's just your mother, then.
129
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,498
Hi. This is Phoebe
from Empire Office Supplies.
130
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,709
Can I speak to your
supply manager, please?
131
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,712
Earl. Thanks.
132
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:30,550
Hi, Earl. This is Phoebe
from Empire Office Supplies.
133
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,428
I'd like to talk to you
about your toner needs.
134
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,097
I don't need any toner.
135
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:41,811
I'm hearing what you're saying,
but at our prices, everyone needs toner.
136
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,897
Not me.
137
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,775
May I ask why?
138
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:51,571
You want to know why?
139
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,573
I surely do.
140
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,408
Okay.
141
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,954
I don't need any toner...
142
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:00,997
...because I'm gonna kill myself.
143
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,343
Um...
144
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,721
Is that because you're out of toner?
145
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:26,314
Okay, so no toner today.
Thanks anyway. Bye-bye.
146
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,568
No, no, wait, wait.
I can't just let you hang up.
147
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:30,902
Just please talk to me.
148
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,904
Well...
149
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,782
I only had one thing to do today.
150
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,621
I guess I could push it back.
151
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:45,208
Yeah. Now, why do you
want to kill yourself?
152
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,838
I've been working for 10 years
now at this...
153
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,132
...meaningless, dead-end job...
154
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,218
...and nobody here
even knows that I exist.
155
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,138
Chandler?
156
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,603
I'm sorry?
157
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,689
Oh. Look...
158
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,525
...I'm sure that people know you exist.
159
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,154
Oh, yeah? I work in a cubicle
surrounded by people.
160
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:19,117
I've been talking to you
for five minutes now about killing myself...
161
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,579
...and no one's even looked up
from their desk. Hang on.
162
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,581
Hey, everybody, uh...
163
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,875
...I'm gonna kill myself.
164
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,297
I got nothing.
165
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,552
Good chair.
166
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,512
Now, if anybody asks...
167
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,557
...your name is Rosita.
168
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,483
[JOEY AND RACHEL
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
169
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,667
Poor thing. Cut down in her prime.
170
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:12,921
Joey, the new chair
will be here in an hour.
171
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,882
Maybe we should actually
move Rosita out of here, you know?
172
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,218
Start the healing process.
173
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,929
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
- Okay.
174
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,536
She's healed.
175
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,042
- That's weird.
- No, it's not weird.
176
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,044
It's a miracle.
177
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:57,257
It's not a miracle, Joey.
I'm sure there's an explanation.
178
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,009
There is. If you want something enough
and your heart is pure...
179
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,511
...wondrous things can happen.
180
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,100
Well, she'll understand, right?
It's not like I did it on purpose.
181
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,852
Dad, that won't matter to her.
182
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:13,148
Look, all my stuff is safe and dry.
And all her stuff is...
183
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,359
...growing new stuff.
184
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,319
See, this is exactly the kind of thing...
185
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,448
...that makes her think
you guys love me more than you love her.
186
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,616
Oh, my God. Does she really think that?
187
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,243
Well, can you blame her?
188
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,747
I don't know. I suppose
we may have favored you unconsciously.
189
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,248
You were a medical marvel.
190
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,293
- The doctors said your mom couldn't...
- I don't want to hear about it.
191
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,171
- Really?
- Well, not right now.
192
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,174
Okay, look.
Monica came here for some memories.
193
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,134
Damn it, we're gonna give her some.
194
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,927
Okay, grab...
195
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,014
Grab some empty boxes, okay?
We'll take stuff from mine...
196
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,934
...and whatever we can pass off
as hers, we'll put them in there.
197
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:53,855
- Right.
- Like, this. She could have made this.
198
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,316
- This could have been hers.
- Sure.
199
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,322
You know, if you want to tell
the medical marvel story while we work...
200
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,032
...that'd be fine.
201
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,331
I am so psyched
I kept this chair for myself.
202
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,253
Yeah. Me too.
203
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:23,218
Wow, you know, that this thing
has speakers in the headrest?
204
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:24,761
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
205
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,346
- No, really?
- Yeah.
206
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,015
You can hook it up to your TV
and you get radio.
207
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,731
My chair heals itself.
208
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,320
All right. Earl, let's just forget about
the people at the office, okay?
209
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:46,199
There's gotta be someone else in your life
that's worth sticking around for.
210
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:50,203
What about your family or friends?
Or maybe a girlfriend?
211
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,247
Heh. Yeah, right.
212
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,541
Oh, sorry. Boyfriend?
213
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,043
Okay, I should...
214
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,838
I should probably be getting back
to my thing now.
215
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,464
- See you.
- No.
216
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,467
I'm not finished yet.
Don't you dare hang up on me!
217
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,387
The new girl's good.
218
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,850
So which boxes are mine?
219
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,061
- These are yours right here.
- Okay.
220
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:18,982
- Oh, a coloring book.
- Yeah, yeah. Oh, you loved that thing.
221
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:22,110
You always had it with you.
You never went anywhere without...
222
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,903
Without that coloring book.
223
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,363
Really?
224
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,199
Wow. Looks like I had some trouble
staying inside the lines.
225
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,451
Uh-uh.
226
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,829
Wow, look at this.
227
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,665
I can't believe I even fit into this shirt.
228
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,880
Oh, this is yours.
229
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,632
I don't know how that got in there.
230
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,595
Hey, this isn't my stuff.
231
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:52,223
Ross, these are your boxes.
232
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,395
Where are my boxes?
233
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,983
The garage flooded, sweetie,
and it ruined everything in your boxes.
234
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,526
I'm sorry.
235
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,821
- Just mine?
- I'm afraid so.
236
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:10,366
So why wasn't Ross' stuff ruined?
237
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:14,913
I used your boxes to divert
water away from the Porsche.
238
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,916
So wait. Ross' stuff is fine,
but I have no memories...
239
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,044
...because you wanted to keep the
bottom two inches of your car from water?
240
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,838
Well, there was also leaves
and gook and stuff.
241
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,092
I can't believe this.
242
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,143
Screw it. I'm having one.
243
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,900
- Hey, Chandler.
- Hey.
244
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:47,445
How would you like to sit
in a chair that fully reclines...
245
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,739
...has a rolling massage...
246
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,200
...and speakers in the headrest?
247
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,619
Yeah, I'd love to,
but I've tried that so many times...
248
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,538
...they won't even let me
in the store anymore.
249
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:02,377
Well, what if I told you
that you could do it in my apartment?
250
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,878
Are you telling me...
251
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,548
...that you bought the chair that is making
all other lounge systems obsolete?
252
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:12,428
The chair that Sit Magazine
called "Chair of the Year"?
253
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,390
I just purchased...
254
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:19,686
...the La-Z-Boy E-Cliner 3000.
255
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:22,188
Well, that's awesome. That's great.
What made you do it?
256
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,358
Well, it's a long story,
but I broke Joey's chair...
257
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,277
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You broke Joey's chair?
258
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,196
- Yeah.
- I thought I broke Joey's chair.
259
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,491
- That's why I replaced it with mine.
- Oh.
260
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,994
That's how it got fixed.
261
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,539
Well, what did you think?
That elves came in and fixed it?
262
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,332
No.
263
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,126
Angels.
264
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,338
- I'm getting my chair back.
- Hey.
265
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:52,802
Well, looks like it wasn't healed after all.
266
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:56,681
So I guess this chair's mine now.
267
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,684
[GROANS]
268
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,602
Joey, you broke my chair!
269
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:02,812
Your chair?
270
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,024
Yeah, he thought he broke your chair,
so he switched the chairs.
271
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,861
- So there was no miracle?
- No, Joe. No miracle.
272
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,196
Oh, no. This is devastating.
273
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,033
My faith is shaken.
274
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,411
I'm so glad I have the new chair to get me
through this difficult time in my life.
275
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,458
Excuse me, could you tell me
where can I find Earl?
276
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,209
He's the supply manager here.
277
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,627
Sorry, I don't know any Earl.
278
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:29,255
I'm right here!
279
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:33,968
Earl?
280
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,723
- I'm Phoebe.
- Phoebe?
281
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,309
The lady who sells toner?
282
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,187
Um, look, you can't kill yourself.
283
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,607
Look, um, I really appreciate
you coming down...
284
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,484
No, no, I can't let you do it.
285
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,818
Why?
286
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,946
Because it was fate
that made me call you today.
287
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,865
I thought it was toner.
288
00:17:56,575 --> 00:18:01,621
No. Think about it, okay?
This isn't even my regular job, okay?
289
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:04,540
And my first day on the job,
you're my first call.
290
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,794
And somebody else might have hung up
on you, but I wouldn't do that...
291
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,338
...because I know about this stuff.
292
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,673
- My mom killed herself.
- Really?
293
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,467
PHOEBE: Yes.
- How?
294
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,260
I'm not gonna give you tips.
295
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,181
Look, don't you see that this...?
296
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:24,143
This all came together
so that I could stop you from doing this.
297
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:28,523
- Couldn't it just be a coincidence?
- No, it's fate.
298
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,693
It doesn't really seem like enough
to be fate.
299
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:36,364
Oh, well. Um, okay, here's a weird thing.
300
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:40,701
My mother was also a supply manager.
301
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,871
I'm actually the office manager.
302
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,249
Oh, my God. So was she!
303
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,793
And get this, okay.
304
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,755
Your name is Earl, right?
Her name was Pearl.
305
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,882
Pearl.
306
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,844
Was there anything else?
307
00:18:58,011 --> 00:18:59,428
Sure.
308
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,890
Um, where are you from?
309
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,726
- Philadelphia.
- Oh, my God, so was she!
310
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,438
Oh, I've got goose bumps.
311
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:10,857
Really?
312
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,651
- Well, I'm wearing layers, and it's warm.
- Yeah.
313
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,196
But... Look. Okay.
These jerks might not care about you...
314
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:21,200
...but the universe does,
and that says a lot.
315
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,996
Did you hear that?
316
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,874
I don't need you guys
to care about me...
317
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,334
...because the universe cares.
318
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,712
The whole universe!
319
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,297
[LAUGHS]
320
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,553
I really wish they'd care just a little bit.
321
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,974
Oh, this is terrible.
322
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,727
Everything is destroyed.
323
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,562
Look at this.
324
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,649
It obviously meant enough for me
to save it, and now I can't tell what it is.
325
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,153
It's still soft.
326
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,949
What do you think this is?
327
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,077
Mon, I think it was a mouse.
328
00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:06,495
[SCREAMS]
329
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,297
- How are you, honey?
MONICA: How do you think I am?
330
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,050
You've wrecked all
my childhood memories...
331
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,052
...you love Ross more than me.
332
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,472
And I just rubbed
a dead mouse on my face.
333
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:30,478
Sweetheart, we love you
just as much as Ross.
334
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,647
Now, I'm sorry about everything
that happened...
335
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:36,442
...and I'll probably never be able
to make it up to you...
336
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,486
...but here's a start.
337
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:44,450
- What's this?
- It's the key to my Porsche.
338
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,786
Well, the key to your Porsche.
339
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,915
- What?
- What?
340
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,793
I've been thinking of getting rid of it...
341
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:57,088
...and I was driving it the other day
and I saw my reflection in a window.
342
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,424
Your mother's right,
I do look like an ass.
343
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,220
You're giving it to me?
You're kidding me, right?
344
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,431
Well, wait a minute.
345
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,310
I mean, a couple of stupid boxes get wet,
and she gets a Porsche?
346
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,481
- Why don't we take it for a spin?
- All right.
347
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:19,318
What about me? I'm a medical marvel!
348
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,826
[CHAIR VIBRATES]
349
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,287
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh.
350
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,540
[BOTH GROANING]
351
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,126
- Hey, guys.
RACHEL: Hey.
352
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,169
Know what happened
to Chandler's Barcalounger?
353
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,380
Oh, yeah. Joey broke it.
Had to get rid of it.
354
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:44,093
Are you kidding? I get a Porsche
and the Barcalounger's gone?
355
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:47,138
Heh. This is the best day ever!
356
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,895
[English - US - SDH]
27303
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