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1
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:46,247
[Speaking
fantasy language]
2
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,382
[Speaking
fantasy language]
3
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,584
Seriously, her pussy
is, like, falling out.
4
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,186
Someone needs
to feed that thing
5
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,254
Before
it eats her shorts.
6
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:57,791
[Speaking
fantasy language]
7
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,994
What are you faggots
talking about?
8
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,530
No. You must
be mistaken.
9
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,165
We're not gay.
10
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,667
You choads were checking
out my ass, weren't you?
11
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,202
I-I-i wasn't.
12
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,371
Well, at least
I'm not gay.
13
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,740
Fuck you.
14
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:23,830
Come on. Stick it
in the hole! Yeah!
15
00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:24,840
I got one more.
I got one more.
16
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:25,153
Bring it.
Bring it, baby.
17
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,860
Bring it, baby.
Bring it, baby.
18
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:27,870
Push it. Push it.
19
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:28,489
Let me see you
stick it.
20
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,958
Oh, that's
such a bulge.
21
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,793
What is that,
like, 100 pounds?
22
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:33,794
No, it's 40.
23
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:34,795
Oh, okay, I got it.
24
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:35,663
Come on.
Bring it down.
25
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:36,930
I got one more.
I got one more.
26
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,650
Let's see that bicep
bulge, baby.
27
00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:39,400
Here we go.
Here we go. This is it.
28
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,202
I wanna see your bulge.
I wanna see your bulge.
29
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,203
It's a flex-off.
30
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,704
Oh, my God.
31
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,720
Yeah. You feel that?
32
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:46,940
Oh!
33
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,609
Oh, man,
I felt your bulge.
34
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,811
Oh, God. My sweater's
all nasty.
35
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:51,979
[Clears throat]
36
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:54,448
What's up?
37
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,718
Yeah, one English lit
435 paper.
38
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,554
The freudian interpretation
of the bell jar.
39
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:01,555
Yeah, put it...
Put it there.
40
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,391
The football team
thanks you
41
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,992
For keeping me
on the field.
42
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,794
Our pleasure.
43
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,429
Which is why I went
ahead and got you guys
44
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,300
A little token
of my gratitude.
45
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:11,565
Call it
something special
46
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,467
For being
so contingent.
47
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,635
Yeah.
48
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,337
Uh, consistent.
49
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,274
Yeah, whatever.
[Laughs]
50
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,309
You're gonna love this.
51
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:22,876
We can pledge
next semester?
52
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,145
[Both laugh]
53
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,860
Oh, please. [Laughs]
54
00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,289
Oh, lower it down.
Lower it down.
55
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,657
Oh, use my shit, bro.
56
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,491
Oh, my God.
57
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,920
That's what bros
are for, bro.
58
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:40,930
You got
that much game?
59
00:02:40,930 --> 00:02:41,940
Oh, yeah.
60
00:02:41,940 --> 00:02:42,129
Man, you shave your...
61
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,265
Dude, yeah, man.
Chicks dig it.
62
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,666
Oh, Jesus,
that was good.
63
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,201
Oh, my.
64
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,536
Where was I?
65
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:51,405
You were about to give us
$300 for the homework.
66
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,506
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
67
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,408
Anyway, I thought,
like, this time,
68
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:58,279
Something
instead of money.
69
00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,447
No way, man.
We said 300.
70
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,448
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
71
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:03,183
Hold up, Frodo
and frodette.
72
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,552
Oh, burn!
73
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:07,870
Oh, yeah!
74
00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:08,622
Anyway, yeah,
so I made some calls
75
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,424
And, like,
I could get you guys
76
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,626
Into what
promises to be...
77
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,928
Wait for it...
78
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:20,868
The best party
of the decade
79
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,135
Tomorrow night.
80
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,737
We're listening.
No, thanks.
81
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,839
Yeah.
No.
82
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,208
No.
Yeah.
83
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,611
Right. Well, maybe
you guys have heard
84
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:34,282
Of the Hollywood
fucking hills.
85
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,451
Anyway, yeah, my boy's
working the door,
86
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:40,588
And I can't go
because, uh,
87
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:43,560
Well, I'm fucking
both of your moms
88
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,191
In the ass.
89
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,793
Oh, burn!
90
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,861
Oh, it burns so good.
91
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,497
Jk, bro, jk.
92
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:52,199
I mean, this is
probably going to be
93
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,402
The most pussy
there's ever been
94
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,970
In one place guaranteed.
95
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,380
Oh, yeah?
96
00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,308
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
no b.S., bra.
97
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:02,810
Thanks for the offer,
but we want the money.
98
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,245
The money?
99
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,782
Okay. All right.
Hey, it's your call.
100
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,500
I mean, I just thought
maybe you guys,
101
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,850
Like, actually
wanted to get laid
102
00:04:12,850 --> 00:04:13,554
And go to a party
103
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,957
Before you graduate...
Or die.
104
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,158
Oh, double burn.
105
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,293
Twice.
106
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,262
Yeah, have fun
staying at home
107
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,865
With your whack pack
of super nerd shut-ins.
108
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:25,866
Oh!
109
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:26,667
Doing whatever, man.
110
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,969
All right.
I'll get the cash.
111
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,305
Wait!
112
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,676
An opportunity like this
113
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,411
Only comes
once in a lifetime.
114
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,279
You let him gyp us
out of $300.
115
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,548
How's that
an opportunity?
116
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:42,416
It's time we stopped
playing video games.
117
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,218
We need to get some tail
physically, not digitally.
118
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,388
We speak elvish, okay?
119
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:48,389
Nobody even wants to be
120
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,390
In the same time zone
as us,
121
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,658
Let alone
a Hollywood party.
122
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,393
I'm not going, man.
No way.
123
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,795
Dude, don't take
your blue balls out on me
124
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,264
Just because your girlfriend
locked her pussy up in fort knox
125
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,799
And gave the key to Jesus.
126
00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,767
Shut up, dude.
127
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,690
No, I'm not going alone.
You're going.
128
00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:03,604
Well, then
we're not going,
129
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,938
And we're out
three bills,
130
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:05,739
So that's great.
131
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,442
Fine. I'll go with the clan.
132
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:11,440
The clan?
Yeah, let's see.
133
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,546
Kwan barely
speaks English,
134
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,182
Marcus' condition
doesn't allow him
to talk to girls,
135
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,850
Doug's restraining order
136
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,852
Canvasses
all of Los Angeles.
137
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,455
I'm pretty sure that
includes the hills.
138
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:23,857
Look, I'm sick and tired
139
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,459
Of you moping around
all the time.
140
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,127
You need to get laid.
141
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,128
Whatever.
142
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,630
No, no.
143
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:31,331
Just because my grandma
144
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,866
Has a better sex drive
than your girlfriend
145
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,202
Doesn't give you an excuse
to be a cock.
146
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,604
Forget about
my relationship.
147
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,710
Look, you're either
going solo,
148
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:39,720
Or you're not going
at all.
149
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:40,340
And if you do
decide to go,
150
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,575
I'm gonna laugh
my ass off
151
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,977
When you get kicked out.
152
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,470
Speak of the devil
and she appears.
153
00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:49,820
And in her mormon
undergarments, no less.
154
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:50,384
Shut the fuck up, man.
155
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,352
No, dude. It's time
to draw a line in the sand
156
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,554
Or move on.
157
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,888
Your virginity's
not getting any younger.
158
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,223
You gonna finally
have the talk?
159
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,224
I've been trying.
160
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,258
Hey!
161
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,259
Hello, ed.
162
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,428
Hey.
163
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,529
Loser.
164
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,730
Goodbye, ed.
165
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:05,699
[Speaking fantasy language]
166
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,936
Yeah.
So I was wondering.
167
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,471
Maybe we could go
to nona's tonight
168
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,473
And hang out with their
youth group for a while.
169
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:14,642
I don't know, Kim.
170
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,910
What do you
not know about?
171
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:22,820
I think just
maybe we should talk.
172
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:24,752
Okay. What's the matter?
173
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:25,986
The same thing
that's been the matter
174
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,955
For the past
three and a half years.
175
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:28,889
The sex thing again?
176
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,558
Look, I know
it's a broken record.
177
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,293
It's just, I have to...
178
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,928
I have to
lay down the law.
179
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,430
The law?
180
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,131
I don't wanna go through
college a virgin.
181
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,600
You know what?
182
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,535
Just go back
to your porn stars
and your hand lotion.
183
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,936
Leave Emily Addison
out of this.
184
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,272
Ross, just met me
at youth group tonight.
185
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,674
Arghhhh!
186
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,678
Okay.
187
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,146
Maybe after, we could do some
under the clothes touching?
188
00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:57,651
If you're good.
189
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,755
All right.
See you later.
190
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,156
Fuck!
191
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,461
Hey, get to work.
192
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,329
I'm not paying you
4.99 a minute
193
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,464
Just to get
to know you better.
194
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,566
Hey, Doug,
fuck you, okay?
195
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,100
If you weren't
our webmaster.
196
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,170
You'd probably be working at
a drive-through somewhere.
197
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,271
Burger boy.
198
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,807
Hey, there is
nothing in the law
199
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,609
That says I cannot spend
money where I work.
200
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,977
Now suck titty.
201
00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:35,589
Okay, ladies,
let's slay us a dragon.
202
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,924
Kwan, sign on.
203
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,280
Kwan-ho,
let's go.
204
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,330
Ed: Marcus?
205
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,331
Artemis at the ready.
206
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,967
Let's go.
207
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,504
Look, I know I helped
your ass-burgers
208
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,506
To get into character,
balakas,
209
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,941
But lay off the r.P.
210
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,345
Hey, no, no, no.
211
00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,613
What are you doing?
You're pro.
212
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,582
You don't need me to
talk you through this.
213
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,886
Fucking Doug.
214
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,488
Seriously, after
the game, dude.
215
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,490
Look, my dick
needs attention.
216
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,760
Fat ass.
217
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,628
Oh, you wanna play?
218
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,564
I can do that.
219
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,702
Time for a raid.
220
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,543
Shit.
221
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,111
Take that, bitch!
222
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,220
[Girls laughing]
223
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,257
Marcus!
224
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,659
Hear me! Hear me!
225
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,994
Hear you? Aye.
226
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,832
Yeah!
227
00:08:54,735 --> 00:09:00,774
Aah! Ha ha ha!
228
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,849
Douglas j.K.
229
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,723
That was hella funny.
230
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,691
Whoo! And I recorded
that shit, too.
231
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,828
Upload. That's gonna get
so many fucking views.
232
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:23,597
Fuck this! I'm gonna kick
your fat fucking ass.
233
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,198
Ladies, I just did
an epic raid.
234
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,934
Let's do this.
235
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:29,670
Is it beating fast
for you, Gina?
236
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,838
Oh, yes, it is.
237
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,172
Get out here, snack boy.
238
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,340
You're about to get
a long overdue ass-whupping.
239
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,750
Oh!
Oh!
240
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:37,410
That fat ass
will jerk off forever.
241
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,846
Lick my dick.
242
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,981
Yes, lick kwan's penis,
you dick.
243
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:44,317
[Speaking
fantasy language]
244
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,890
No.
No.
245
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,930
You know, he's like
your little brother
246
00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:56,797
That, like, never
gets laid, you know?
247
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,366
Oh... Oh...
Hey, what the fuck?
248
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,500
You're on the clock.
249
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,735
Not cool.
250
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,404
You should never
intentionally wipe a raid.
251
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,806
I'm gonna
report you to buck.
252
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,740
I'm the best webmaster
253
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:08,809
That
the porndarosa's got.
254
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,143
You gotta
be nice to me.
255
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,344
By the way, funboy,
256
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:15,415
Buck said that you
better get current
on your bill
257
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,751
Or he's gonna
fire your ass.
258
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,753
The last time
buck fired someone,
259
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,755
He literally fired
a shot at them.
260
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,257
At their ass.
261
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,727
Log out.
262
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,229
Hey, guys?
263
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,698
Guys?
264
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,769
Guys? Look, I'm just
fucking around, guys.
265
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,238
Come on.
Porno's off. Let's go.
266
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,774
Guys?
267
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,642
Damn that shit.
268
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,265
Whoo!
269
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,736
Whoo!
270
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,676
Play it cool, guys.
271
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,790
[Speaking broken English]
272
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:21,810
What was I thinking?
We don't belong here.
273
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:22,515
Marcus, need
a drink, man?
274
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,583
What do I do
to get one?
275
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,352
Turn around.
Ask the waitress.
276
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:28,989
Waitress:
What can I get you?
277
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,690
You don't need
to get me anything,
278
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,959
I don't think.
279
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,761
Wait, maybe you do.
280
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,228
He'll have
a Jack and coke.
281
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:50,677
Maybe we should
split up.
282
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,179
We won't attract
as much attention.
283
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:53,800
Good idea.
284
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,282
The museum.
Come on.
285
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,957
I got enough data
stored in my spank bank
286
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,392
To jerk off
for the next four years.
287
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,927
Are you blind?
We gotta get out of here.
288
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,280
They know we're not
supposed to be here.
289
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,396
We're gonna get
our asses kicked.
290
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,998
I'm fucking one of these
chicks tonight. You watch.
291
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:12,599
Get it through
your head, ed.
292
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:13,867
No chicks
are gonna touch us.
293
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,102
[Footsteps]
294
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,871
She's not wearing
any underwear.
295
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,720
I know.
296
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,810
Oh. [Giggles]
297
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,858
Oh, God.
298
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,792
She's doing coke.
299
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,620
[Snorts]
300
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:16,864
What does she want?
301
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,673
Oh, shit.
You scared me.
302
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,675
How did you get in here?
303
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,211
Oh, I, uh...
304
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,545
[Laughs]
It's okay, darling.
305
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,916
Listen, you kind of
caught me white handed here,
306
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:39,319
So you know
what that means.
307
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,787
I'll give you
a little bump.
308
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,555
No, thanks. I...
309
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,357
Come on. It's good.
310
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,894
Wait a minute. Wait.
You're mellony Adams.
311
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,829
You were in
thunder run 3.
312
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:50,830
Holy shit.
313
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,966
[Laughs]
That piece of shit?
314
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,968
Oh, my God.
315
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,171
You killed my sister.
316
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,572
And now you have to...
317
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,674
[Together]
Face my wrath!
318
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,244
Best catch phrase
ever. Yeah!
319
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,446
God, what...
No, no, no, no.
320
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:11,118
Listen, you try to be
typecast at my age,
321
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:15,122
And you take every
fricking loathing line
322
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:19,526
And you try to make it
into this... Something.
323
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:22,950
Except... Except...
324
00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:23,830
For these lines.
325
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,533
[Laughs]
326
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,568
Oh, man.
327
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,872
Whoo! Damn!
Whoo-hoo!
328
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,474
Try it.
329
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,643
It's really good.
330
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,416
Whoo!
331
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:45,852
It's so good,
332
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,210
It make you wanna move,
doesn't it? Whoo!
333
00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:49,489
No, it hurts.
334
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,925
[Laughs]
335
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,262
Listen,
what's your name?
336
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,630
Ed.
337
00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:57,664
Oh, yeah? Ed?
338
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,202
I know
we just met, ed,
339
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,337
But would you like
to drink
340
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,574
A little champagne
with me?
341
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,379
Whoo! Yeah!
342
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,566
You don't belong here,
asshole.
343
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,468
I beg your pardon?
344
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,105
He's talking to you,
poindexter.
345
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,750
Look, we're gonna
throw you the fuck out
346
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:43,543
Unless you do
something for us.
347
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,378
Like what?
348
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,715
Kind of hot
in here, though.
349
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,418
I think I'm overdressed.
350
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,420
Ed, could you help me
with that, please?
351
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,356
Oh, that's no problem.
No problem.
352
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,557
Here we go.
353
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,227
Wow, my friends are never
gonna believe I did this.
354
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,794
This is fucking insane.
355
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:05,265
Well, it's good
to get a little crazy
sometimes, darling.
356
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,800
Yeah. This may be
a little off subject,
357
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,237
But you haven't heard
of any of those
new cell phones
358
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:13,273
That have cameras
and record videos.
359
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,176
I don't know.
I must have one.
360
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:19,912
Oh, shut up and grab
my rocking tits.
361
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,820
That's what I call
a catch phrase.
362
00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:24,840
Whoo!
Whoa!
363
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,786
Whoo! [Giggles]
364
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,988
This is gonna be fun.
365
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,326
See that sizzling hot
blonde chick over there?
366
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:39,990
The one next to
that huge mma looking
motherfucker.
367
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:41,340
Affirmative.
368
00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:42,402
Here's what
you're gonna do.
369
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:46,373
You're gonna walk your
puny little ass over there,
370
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,807
And you're gonna
ask her,
371
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,410
Can I get
all up in that labe?
372
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,281
Labe? Are you referring
373
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,416
To that lady's
labia majora?
374
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,651
Hey, we call it labe
for short.
375
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,123
Kwan.
376
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,193
Oh, yes!
377
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,960
Yes, right there.
378
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,962
Oh! Oh, yes.
379
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:12,499
Holy shit, you better
be recording this.
380
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:13,700
What?
381
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,701
Nothing.
382
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,537
[Moaning]
383
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,272
Oh, yes, ed.
384
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,108
Teach my pussy.
385
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,443
Sex me, ed.
386
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,145
Sex-ed.
387
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,800
Teach my pussy.
388
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,449
Yeah!
389
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,651
* you know you gals,
you kind of sexy *
390
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,586
* don't let no man tell you
that you ain't nothing *
391
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:34,921
* they're trying
to abuse you *
392
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,223
* and make you feel like... *
393
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:38,925
* you can do way, way
better than that *
394
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,930
* you can do way, way... *
395
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,929
Oh, man, Ron's gonna
fuck that kid up.
396
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,265
No doubt.
397
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,168
Um... Hello. Hi.
398
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,570
Um, those gentlemen
over there
399
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,872
Are asking me
to ask you, um...
400
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,208
If I could
get up in your labe.
401
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,760
Excuse me?
402
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:58,511
If I could
get up in your labe.
403
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,747
But I think they were
referring to you labia majora
404
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,949
Or the fold of skin
on the outsides of your vagina
405
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,217
Encasing the vulva.
406
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,353
Oh, my fucking God.
407
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,420
Ron, did you hear
408
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,888
What he was just
telling me?
409
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,458
What's up, babe?
410
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,895
What?
411
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,397
Aah!
412
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:20,267
* from there, you can do
way, way better than that *
413
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:24,404
* you can do way, way
better than that *
414
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:27,307
Pshht.
What a dick.
415
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,529
Motherfucker!
416
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,132
Shit, is that mellony Adams?
417
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,467
Aah!
418
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,305
Oh, my God.
I fucked mellony Adams,
419
00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,339
And I have proof.
420
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,140
Best night
of my fucking life.
421
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,176
Oh, my God. Wait until
Doug hears about this.
422
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,110
Roll up the window, man.
423
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:07,146
What are you doing?
424
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,317
Oh, my God. Marcus needs
to go to a hospital.
425
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,420
You okay?
426
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,954
Did I get to see
her labia?
427
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:18,325
[Speaking
broken English]
428
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,693
I deem the knockout
to be worth it.
429
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:23,430
Dudes, we hung out
with actual girls.
430
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,897
I'm glad you're okay.
431
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,400
He's okay.
He's okay. Whoo!
432
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,369
Best 300 bucks
we've ever spent.
433
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,704
Epic win!
Epic win!
434
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,390
Epic won.
435
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:35,442
* me and my wang *
436
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,577
* just hanging out
on the porch *
437
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,446
* drinking a beer *
438
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,814
* hand down my pants
and doing my thing *
439
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,517
* I'm drinking a beer
and playing with my wang *
440
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:48,154
* whoo hoo-hoo
hoo-hoo-hoo *
441
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:51,558
[Imitating guitar solo]
442
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,993
Oh, where the fuck
you guys go?
443
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,194
Oh, nowhere,
444
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,640
Except the most
epic party in history.
445
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,267
Bam! Go ahead.
Take a look.
446
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:02,969
Wait. Is that...
447
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,471
Is that...
Mm-hmm.
448
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,938
Mellony motherfucking Adams.
449
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,841
Maybe you've seen her before
in every movie ever made.
450
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,977
I hope you enjoyed
your masturbatory evening
451
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:12,745
In solitude, Douglas.
452
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:13,546
Okay, fuck you guys.
453
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,810
Why didn't you
invite me?
454
00:20:15,810 --> 00:20:16,249
Next time
don't ruin our raid.
455
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,550
Maybe you'll get an invite.
456
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:21,488
Oh, I've gotta
go to sleep.
457
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,622
I think I have
a concussion,
458
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,824
And I'm extremely
inebriated.
459
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,920
Me, too.
460
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,828
Good night, dick.
461
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,968
All right,
you guys got me.
462
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,837
I'm a douchebag.
463
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:38,771
I'm sorry...
464
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:42,542
That you forgot
your fucking phone.
465
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,210
Oh!
466
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,647
You know,
it'd be a goddamn shame
467
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,450
If this video were
to somehow make its way
468
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:53,453
To the worldwide web.
469
00:20:57,524 --> 00:21:00,460
Holy fucking shit. Did
last night really happen?
470
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,262
Yes, it really happened.
471
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,997
I boned mellony Adams?
472
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,165
Yep.
473
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,267
And kwan was there, too?
474
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,409
I'm trying to eat.
475
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,353
Yep. I got it all
on my phone.
476
00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:29,489
Look, you guys can watch
it back a million times
if you want,
477
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,223
But it has to stay
between us, okay?
478
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:32,825
We can get into
a shitstorm of trouble
479
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,126
If anybody sees it.
480
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,195
Fuck that. I want
the world to know
what a stud I am.
481
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,497
I boned
mellony Adams.
482
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:39,499
It doesn't get any
non-gayer than that.
483
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,233
I'd rather bang
Halle Berry.
484
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,102
Britney! Britney!
485
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,504
Or eva Mendez.
486
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,138
Emily Addison.
487
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,207
You guys are just jealous
that I dabbled the dipstick
488
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,209
In some Hollywood
cream-sashine.
489
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:51,444
Okay, ed, come on.
Seriously.
490
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,445
Think about it, okay?
491
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:53,446
We only got into
that party
492
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,447
Because of
Delaney's buddy.
493
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:55,882
We weren't
really invited,
494
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:58,117
So technically
we can get arrested
for trespassing.
495
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:03,220
Not to mention, we kind of
filmed a sex tape
without consent,
496
00:22:03,220 --> 00:22:04,591
So there's always that.
497
00:22:04,591 --> 00:22:06,192
What good
is bonking a babe
498
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:07,794
If I can't tell anybody?
499
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:10,763
It's enough
that we know, right?
500
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:17,704
Oh, my God.
It is you. Sex-ed.
501
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:20,339
Oh, my God.
And you're kwan-zai.
502
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,740
Oh, and you poor baby.
503
00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:23,209
Got your jaw broken
504
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:24,744
Without having
any of the fun.
505
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:27,146
Actually, it's just a contusion
of the zygomatic bone
506
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:30,820
With some secondary bruising
on the left mandible.
507
00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:32,485
Whatever. [Laughs]
508
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,753
Well, we look forward
509
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:36,220
To seeing more of you
in action, stud.
510
00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:39,526
Come on.
511
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:43,763
All: Fucking Doug!
512
00:22:45,632 --> 00:22:48,468
Hey! Hey! Hey, dude.
513
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,837
Hey. Hey. Hey.
514
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:53,506
Hey, you!
515
00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:54,507
Hey, sweetie.
516
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:55,642
What the heck, Ross?
517
00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:56,909
You don't answer
my texts now?
518
00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:58,778
When? Oh, nona's.
519
00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:01,347
Yeah, nona's
I waited there for two hours
520
00:23:01,347 --> 00:23:02,348
Looking like a jerk.
521
00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:03,950
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
522
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:05,840
Let's do it tonight.
523
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:06,285
I have study group.
524
00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:08,888
I promise I'll
make it up to you
sometime, okay?
525
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,156
Num-num!
526
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,427
Bye.
Num-num.
527
00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:17,296
Dude, no one
turns me away like that.
528
00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:18,297
Dude.
529
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:20,299
You wanna
try it again?
530
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:21,501
Yeah, let's get back.
531
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:22,969
Oh, man, did you
moisturize this morning?
532
00:23:22,969 --> 00:23:25,710
Yeah, every morning.
Of course I did.
533
00:23:25,710 --> 00:23:29,742
[Moaning]
534
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,679
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
535
00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,781
Hold up. Hold up.
536
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:39,552
Doug, bend over so I can
burn your fucking balls.
537
00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:40,987
Oh, hey! Hey, man!
538
00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,421
She was about to stick
her whole foot
in her mouth.
539
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,190
You get on that
pornderosa site right now
540
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:45,424
And take down that video.
541
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,594
I don't know what
you're talking about.
542
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:49,328
You post last night's
sexcapade
543
00:23:49,328 --> 00:23:51,564
On a fucking porn site
you work for.
544
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:54,660
[Clapping]
545
00:23:54,660 --> 00:23:56,680
You figure that all out
by yourself, Sherlock?
546
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,405
But once again,
you're only half right.
547
00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,474
You see, a video
of that great quality
548
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:02,742
Deserves its own website
549
00:24:02,742 --> 00:24:04,844
So that everyone can
see it in all its glory,
550
00:24:04,844 --> 00:24:06,479
And I would hate
to deprive people
551
00:24:06,479 --> 00:24:08,180
Of that now. [Laughs]
552
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:11,500
I'm gonna shove that mouse
right down your fucking piehole
553
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,719
If you don't
take it down right now.
554
00:24:12,719 --> 00:24:15,187
I'm afraid you douchebags
are a little too late.
555
00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:16,723
Check it out.
556
00:24:16,723 --> 00:24:18,858
You're an overnight
celebrity, my friend.
557
00:24:18,858 --> 00:24:22,294
Over three and a half
million hits
and counting.
558
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,463
Holy shit. Awesome!
559
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,966
No, not awesome.
Take it down!
560
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:27,767
Okay.
561
00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,335
That's it.
Get rid of this.
562
00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:32,171
No, no, no. I'm never
gonna get that kind
of pussy again.
563
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,574
Guys. Guys. Guys!
564
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,243
The God damn cat's
out of the bag.
565
00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:39,478
This thing is viral.
566
00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:41,814
[Knock on door]
567
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:44,416
Hey, must be some
of my fan club.
568
00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:45,585
Answer it, Marcus.
569
00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:47,554
Got to let them
come to me.
570
00:24:53,459 --> 00:24:55,528
Like that, satchmo?
571
00:24:55,528 --> 00:24:57,930
'Cause vinny here,
572
00:24:57,930 --> 00:25:01,601
He can serve up sex
real quick.
573
00:25:01,601 --> 00:25:03,202
All right, everybody
over here now.
574
00:25:03,202 --> 00:25:05,404
Sit down. Come on.
575
00:25:05,404 --> 00:25:07,390
Sit down!
576
00:25:19,318 --> 00:25:21,588
Hmm.
577
00:25:21,588 --> 00:25:23,623
I don't know, Danny.
578
00:25:23,623 --> 00:25:26,593
Which one do you think
is the mastermind?
579
00:25:28,995 --> 00:25:32,999
It sure as hell
ain't Jackie Robinson
over here.
580
00:25:34,333 --> 00:25:36,268
Or jabba the hut.
581
00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:39,380
Or wang chung.
582
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:45,211
Maybe...
583
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:48,114
Just maybe...
584
00:25:48,114 --> 00:25:51,117
It's the little prick
who fucked my client
585
00:25:51,117 --> 00:25:53,119
On the Internet.
586
00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:56,288
Maybe...
587
00:25:58,570 --> 00:26:00,827
Just maybe...
588
00:26:00,827 --> 00:26:05,331
The prick didn't know
that fucking my client
589
00:26:05,331 --> 00:26:08,234
Was like
you're fucking me!
590
00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:12,739
You all right?
591
00:26:14,373 --> 00:26:15,742
You sure?
592
00:26:20,446 --> 00:26:22,448
Where are my manners?
593
00:26:22,448 --> 00:26:25,451
Huh?
594
00:26:25,451 --> 00:26:28,387
Was I raised
in the woods?
595
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:29,521
Mm-mmm.
596
00:26:29,521 --> 00:26:32,191
No.
597
00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:33,926
Well...
598
00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:38,130
Let me introduce myself.
599
00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:40,733
I'm Benny silva.
600
00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:42,735
I'm a talent manager,
601
00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:46,380
And my client
is mellony Adams.
602
00:26:46,380 --> 00:26:49,709
You had sex with her
against her will,
603
00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:51,778
Recorded it and put it
on the Internet.
604
00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:52,912
It wasn't against her will.
605
00:26:52,912 --> 00:26:54,413
She totally
wanted my rod.
606
00:26:54,413 --> 00:26:56,282
No speaking out of turn.
607
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:58,818
Shut the fuck up!
608
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:06,250
I could have all of you
arrested for trespassing,
609
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:09,161
Making pornography against
the will of my client,
610
00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:10,429
Defamation.
611
00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:15,267
The list
goes on and on.
612
00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:16,769
Hey, man, it was them.
613
00:27:16,769 --> 00:27:17,937
I had nothing
to do with it.
614
00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:18,971
I wasn't even there.
Come on, brother.
615
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,239
I had nothing
to do with it...
616
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:21,808
Shut up!
617
00:27:21,808 --> 00:27:24,430
Then why was it uploaded
618
00:27:24,430 --> 00:27:26,445
From your
fucking computer?
619
00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:28,881
[Squeals]
620
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:33,850
Nobody likes a snitch.
621
00:27:34,553 --> 00:27:39,658
And I sure as hell
don't want to see
622
00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:43,295
A group of fine young
men like yourselves...
623
00:27:46,465 --> 00:27:49,468
Going to jail.
624
00:27:49,468 --> 00:27:53,840
So that's why
I'm offering you
625
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,374
Another option.
626
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:57,343
Whatever it is,
we'll take it. Anything.
627
00:27:59,879 --> 00:28:03,615
You are going to pay me
a half a million dollars
628
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,510
In the next 30 days.
629
00:28:05,510 --> 00:28:08,220
Or you're
going to end up
630
00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:12,391
A bunch of pretty little
jailhouse bitches,
631
00:28:12,391 --> 00:28:15,862
Dead in a ditch,
632
00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:18,640
Or both.
633
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:23,350
[Urinating]
634
00:28:26,806 --> 00:28:30,442
Accidents happen.
635
00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:54,500
Oh, God,
we're so fucked.
636
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,135
It's not so bad.
637
00:28:56,135 --> 00:28:58,337
I mean, half a million
sounds like a lot,
638
00:28:58,337 --> 00:28:59,738
But there's five of us.
639
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,673
We could donate blood.
640
00:29:01,673 --> 00:29:03,910
Or a kidney.
Black market kidneys
641
00:29:03,910 --> 00:29:07,446
Sell for an average
of $20,000.
642
00:29:07,446 --> 00:29:09,648
Unless you got
20 extra kidneys stashed away,
643
00:29:09,648 --> 00:29:10,749
That ain't gonna work.
644
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,919
We could rob a bank.
645
00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:14,653
Rob a bank
to not go to jail.
646
00:29:14,653 --> 00:29:16,550
Yeah, that's brilliant.
647
00:29:16,550 --> 00:29:19,258
Yeah, hey,
at least I'm coming up
with ideas here.
648
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,527
It's your great ideas
that got us into this
in the first place.
649
00:29:21,527 --> 00:29:23,863
You could have
stayed at home
with your girlfriend
650
00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:25,431
And not had sex again.
651
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:27,433
No, fuck you.
Fuck you.
652
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:28,968
No, fuck kwan.
653
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,873
Actually, I'm the one
getting screwed here.
654
00:30:06,873 --> 00:30:08,307
I'm just saying.
655
00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:12,144
Technically, I've sustained
the most serious injuries.
656
00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:14,881
Shut up. Everyone
shut up please.
657
00:30:16,682 --> 00:30:18,150
Damn, if we were chicks,
658
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,319
We could strip our way
to a half million
no problem.
659
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:23,155
I'd make extra 'cause I
wouldn't shave my bush.
660
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:29,495
What? It's a great way
to half a mil.
661
00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:31,864
Why not just go all
the way and make a porn?
662
00:30:31,864 --> 00:30:35,101
You could star in
hot and hairy volume 69.
663
00:30:35,101 --> 00:30:36,835
That's it!
[Chuckles] 69.
664
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,437
You gonna grow a vagina?
665
00:30:38,437 --> 00:30:40,239
No, dude,
666
00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:42,374
We can't strip our way
to a half million,
667
00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:44,310
But we can
screw our way to it.
668
00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:45,978
We've just got to make
more sex tapes.
669
00:30:45,978 --> 00:30:47,846
That's the complete
opposite
670
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,148
Of what
we should do.
671
00:30:49,148 --> 00:30:50,849
Dude, dude,
all we have to do
672
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:52,985
Is find some willing
has-been celebrities
673
00:30:52,985 --> 00:30:55,454
And convince them
to have sex on camera.
674
00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:57,423
It's insane exposure.
675
00:30:57,423 --> 00:30:59,691
All anyone's been
talking about all day
676
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:00,960
Is mellony Adams.
677
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,695
Just the pervs
on campus, man.
678
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,264
Not actually.
679
00:31:05,264 --> 00:31:07,233
I mean, she's trending
pretty hard.
680
00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:09,501
Top five searches
on the Internet.
681
00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:14,840
Okay. Why can't they
just make their own tapes?
682
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,342
I mean, why
would they need us?
683
00:31:16,342 --> 00:31:17,876
'Cause we've got
a proven track record.
684
00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,110
Our video has...
685
00:31:19,110 --> 00:31:20,460
17 million.
686
00:31:20,460 --> 00:31:21,914
17 million hits.
687
00:31:21,914 --> 00:31:24,650
Think about it.
Exposure.
688
00:31:24,650 --> 00:31:27,253
I don't know.
689
00:31:27,253 --> 00:31:29,755
Doug can set up
the websites.
690
00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:31,823
We'll watch
the cash roll in.
691
00:31:31,823 --> 00:31:33,225
I just...
692
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,893
You got
any better ideas?
693
00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:36,895
I didn't think so.
694
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,698
Where can we find
a chick
695
00:31:39,698 --> 00:31:40,832
That's desperate enough
696
00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:43,135
To bang her way
back to fame?
697
00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:48,274
I know of a venue
that will have
698
00:31:48,274 --> 00:31:51,243
Several of those
female individuals
in attendance currently.
699
00:31:58,117 --> 00:31:59,918
There's shelby Jones.
700
00:32:01,988 --> 00:32:03,255
She played
a valkyrie berserker
701
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:04,923
On blood and breath
swords,
702
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:07,590
Seasons two
through five.
703
00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:12,999
Dude, I'll totally
ragnarok her world.
704
00:32:15,667 --> 00:32:17,369
Hi, Mrs. Jones.
705
00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:19,471
I really like it
in episode 312
706
00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:21,730
When you beheaded
the evil hydro
707
00:32:21,730 --> 00:32:23,409
After drinking
the invincibility potion.
708
00:32:23,409 --> 00:32:25,344
Thanks, kid.
709
00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:27,879
So you want
an autograph or...
710
00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:29,381
Oh, will you have
sexual intercourse
711
00:32:29,381 --> 00:32:31,117
With my friend ed
and allow us to videotape it
712
00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:34,200
So that we can make money
and pay off someone
who's blackmailing us?
713
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,560
Christ. You little shits
get weirder every year.
714
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,325
Sorry, sorry.
He's just joking.
715
00:32:39,325 --> 00:32:42,628
He's just acting out a scene
in episode 478.
716
00:32:42,628 --> 00:32:45,431
You know, when
the evil prince comes...
717
00:32:45,431 --> 00:32:47,866
That's crazy.
There's no episode...
718
00:32:47,866 --> 00:32:49,350
[Coughs] Shut up.
719
00:32:49,350 --> 00:32:50,969
It'll be a tremendous
for your career.
720
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:53,972
Just let ed and I
do it, okay?
721
00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:55,241
You got to find
the right chick,
722
00:32:55,241 --> 00:32:57,743
One who's washed up.
723
00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:02,348
Desperate, but still
kind of hot.
724
00:33:03,415 --> 00:33:07,530
Someone with a bit
of a sexy background.
725
00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:12,124
Forget it, man.
This isn't going to work.
726
00:33:12,124 --> 00:33:14,193
Let's just
go pack for jail.
727
00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:16,462
Bingo!
728
00:33:16,462 --> 00:33:19,980
[Chuckles]
729
00:33:19,980 --> 00:33:20,366
Jillian baines.
730
00:33:20,366 --> 00:33:21,767
Lieutenant commander zolara
731
00:33:21,767 --> 00:33:23,635
On orient five
seasons one through four.
732
00:33:23,635 --> 00:33:25,771
Zolara was a completely
realistic android
733
00:33:25,771 --> 00:33:28,107
With six times the intensity
of normal human strength
734
00:33:28,107 --> 00:33:29,341
And telescopic vision.
735
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:31,743
She died saving
the starship hyperion
736
00:33:31,743 --> 00:33:34,146
From a quantum singularity.
737
00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:36,282
Fascinating.
I've heard about her.
738
00:33:36,282 --> 00:33:38,550
The show's creators
killed her character off
739
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:41,190
After some nude photos
of her surfaced...
740
00:33:41,190 --> 00:33:42,154
Which I still own,
by the way...
741
00:33:42,154 --> 00:33:44,423
Plus she is a total drunk.
742
00:33:44,423 --> 00:33:46,192
Never showed up
to the set on time.
743
00:33:49,270 --> 00:33:52,164
Ahh... Yeah.
744
00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:53,699
What are you doing?
745
00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:56,435
Excuse me?
746
00:33:56,435 --> 00:33:59,171
Look at all these
dried up old hags
747
00:33:59,171 --> 00:34:00,539
Trying to cling
to the last bit of money
748
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:03,475
They can make for a job
they did 10 years ago.
749
00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:06,478
But you...
You're in your prime.
750
00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:08,347
You just need
the right opportunity.
751
00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:10,282
Are you trying
to sell something?
752
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,684
Because I can
call security, all right?
753
00:34:12,684 --> 00:34:15,154
You got to register
three weeks in advance
754
00:34:15,154 --> 00:34:17,223
If you wanna be
a vendor here.
755
00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:18,424
The only thing
I'm trying to sell you
756
00:34:18,424 --> 00:34:20,626
Is a chance to
reinvigorate your career.
757
00:34:24,730 --> 00:34:26,132
Do you have an Uncle
758
00:34:26,132 --> 00:34:28,660
That's the head
of a studio or something?
759
00:34:28,660 --> 00:34:30,669
Better. I'm the studio,
the agent,
760
00:34:30,669 --> 00:34:32,504
And the costar.
761
00:34:32,504 --> 00:34:35,600
You ever heard
of a little thing
called the Internet?
762
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,842
Are you retarded?
763
00:34:36,842 --> 00:34:38,477
Like a fox.
764
00:34:38,477 --> 00:34:39,945
Did you see
that little video
765
00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:41,213
With mellony Adams?
766
00:34:41,213 --> 00:34:43,482
Yeah. It's blowing up
everywhere.
767
00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:46,840
It's on tmz,
entertainment tonight, extra.
768
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,420
Everybody's
talking about it.
769
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,823
I would kill
for that kind of coverage.
770
00:34:51,823 --> 00:34:53,240
You don't have to kill.
771
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:54,826
I'm the guy
in that video.
772
00:34:54,826 --> 00:34:56,962
You?
773
00:34:56,962 --> 00:34:58,297
Me.
774
00:34:58,297 --> 00:35:02,534
You know they're calling you
sex-ed on the blogs.
775
00:35:02,534 --> 00:35:04,203
Oh, yeah.
776
00:35:04,203 --> 00:35:07,339
So you're offering...
777
00:35:07,339 --> 00:35:09,575
A refresher course.
778
00:35:09,575 --> 00:35:11,410
Hmm.
779
00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:19,651
All right, I'll fuck you.
780
00:35:19,651 --> 00:35:20,819
[Chuckles]
781
00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:25,491
But it's gonna take
a lot of liquid courage.
782
00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,496
Show's over.
783
00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:41,139
Aw, damn it. It's not
the right mount.
784
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,642
Tripod shots are 75%
steadier than handheld,
785
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,477
And that number
goes up to 350%
786
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:48,414
For shots zoomed in
more than four times.
787
00:35:48,414 --> 00:35:50,616
Shut up.
Get the lube.
788
00:35:57,823 --> 00:35:59,240
Ooh.
789
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,727
You know, if ed can't do
this whole thing by himself.
790
00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:05,197
I can always jump in
and take over, you know.
791
00:36:05,197 --> 00:36:07,299
Sorry, fat-ass.
This is a one-man show.
792
00:36:07,299 --> 00:36:09,670
Just get
the website together, okay?
793
00:36:09,670 --> 00:36:10,302
All right,
come on, guys.
794
00:36:10,302 --> 00:36:12,638
She's gonna be here
any second. Let's go.
795
00:36:18,977 --> 00:36:20,746
Hello.
796
00:36:20,746 --> 00:36:22,548
So...
797
00:36:22,548 --> 00:36:26,852
Who wants to fuck
the hottest robot
in this quadrant? Huh?
798
00:36:26,852 --> 00:36:28,854
Huh? You?
799
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:30,880
Ooh.
800
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,230
Somebody's
ready to launch.
801
00:36:32,230 --> 00:36:34,159
Over here.
Over here!
802
00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:37,496
Oh, yes.
There's my stud.
803
00:36:37,496 --> 00:36:41,199
So you gonna fuck me
like mellony?
804
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,734
Are you?
805
00:36:42,734 --> 00:36:44,670
Hell, yeah.
806
00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:49,140
Action!
807
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:51,420
I don't wanna film this.
808
00:36:51,420 --> 00:36:52,478
Shoot, shoot, shoot.
809
00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:59,840
My mission is to
find out what happens
810
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,754
When you stick
your probe balls deep.
811
00:37:02,754 --> 00:37:04,256
[Laughs]
812
00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:06,157
Party time, space girl.
813
00:37:06,157 --> 00:37:08,694
Yeah. Huh?
814
00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:15,534
Okay.
815
00:37:15,534 --> 00:37:18,236
[Laughs] Ooh,
robot on robot sex
816
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:20,839
Is hot and heavy.
817
00:37:20,839 --> 00:37:22,908
Oh, yeah, baby. Ooh.
818
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:24,420
I was sent to study
819
00:37:24,420 --> 00:37:25,911
The sexual
reproduction rituals
820
00:37:25,911 --> 00:37:27,613
Of your species.
821
00:37:27,613 --> 00:37:29,915
Huh? I'm
a fucking android.
822
00:37:29,915 --> 00:37:31,350
I don't have a species.
823
00:37:31,350 --> 00:37:33,184
Excuse me, but
technically speaking,
824
00:37:33,184 --> 00:37:34,453
Androids
can build other androids
825
00:37:34,453 --> 00:37:36,187
And therefore be
classified as a species.
826
00:37:36,187 --> 00:37:37,956
Get out of the shot.
827
00:37:37,956 --> 00:37:38,957
All right. All right.
828
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:40,910
Where was I?
829
00:37:40,910 --> 00:37:42,193
Oh, yeah.
I was about to insert
830
00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:44,896
My hard disk
into your v-drive unit.
831
00:37:44,896 --> 00:37:46,465
[Moaning]
832
00:37:46,465 --> 00:37:48,467
Oh, God. [Chuckles]
833
00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:51,470
Next mission, you're
gonna drill for oil
834
00:37:51,470 --> 00:37:53,472
On the moon. [Laughs]
835
00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:54,806
Negative. Negative.
Negative.
836
00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:57,809
No, no. We are going
to stick to cave exploration
837
00:37:57,809 --> 00:37:59,770
On this expedition.
838
00:37:59,770 --> 00:38:01,413
Fine. Yeah,
give it to me.
839
00:38:01,413 --> 00:38:04,416
[Moaning]
840
00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:05,784
You've penetrated.
841
00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,554
You've penetrated
my force field.
842
00:38:08,554 --> 00:38:10,422
You're gonna have
to make a direct hit
843
00:38:10,422 --> 00:38:12,157
To make me cum. Yeah.
844
00:38:12,157 --> 00:38:14,250
Stay on target.
Stay on target.
845
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:15,761
Aah! Aah! Aah!
846
00:38:15,761 --> 00:38:18,564
Ohh...
847
00:38:18,564 --> 00:38:20,766
Oh, God. Look at
the size of that thing.
848
00:38:22,901 --> 00:38:26,338
Kwan-zai!
849
00:38:26,338 --> 00:38:28,730
[Splat]
850
00:38:46,592 --> 00:38:48,594
Hey, Ross, it's Kim.
851
00:38:48,594 --> 00:38:51,797
Uh, just calling
to say hello.
852
00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:56,702
So where have you been,
silly goose?
853
00:38:56,702 --> 00:39:00,439
I've just, you know, been
worried sick about you,
854
00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:04,376
And, um... All right,
well, just call me
855
00:39:04,376 --> 00:39:07,713
When you're not
too busy, I guess.
856
00:39:07,713 --> 00:39:09,581
Bye.
857
00:39:13,819 --> 00:39:15,821
Arghhhh!
858
00:39:18,990 --> 00:39:21,893
Holy fucking shit.
859
00:39:21,893 --> 00:39:25,163
Up to 17 million hits
in only three days.
860
00:39:25,163 --> 00:39:26,732
Unbelievable.
861
00:39:26,732 --> 00:39:29,267
Taking into account
the exponential nature
of these videos
862
00:39:29,267 --> 00:39:31,637
With a minimal
coefficient of 16.3,
863
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:34,406
And now with two videos,
864
00:39:34,406 --> 00:39:35,507
If you refresh the screen,
865
00:39:35,507 --> 00:39:39,611
We should have
17,274,000 hits now.
866
00:39:45,684 --> 00:39:47,953
That mans with
the advertising revenue
867
00:39:47,953 --> 00:39:51,590
Growing at a rate
of 14.43 per 300k,
868
00:39:51,590 --> 00:39:54,793
That we will be able to
come up with the money.
869
00:39:54,793 --> 00:39:57,195
We just need to keep
producing videos.
870
00:39:57,195 --> 00:39:58,329
We need to find
some new girls.
871
00:39:58,329 --> 00:39:59,865
Where do we go
to find them?
872
00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,670
Uh, guys.
873
00:40:02,670 --> 00:40:04,402
I don't think that's
gonna be a problem.
874
00:40:09,374 --> 00:40:11,610
[Laughs]
875
00:41:00,726 --> 00:41:02,127
We need
to hang out more, Ross.
876
00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:04,596
I feel like I haven't
seen you in forever.
877
00:41:04,596 --> 00:41:07,650
Yeah, I know.
I've just been really busy
878
00:41:07,650 --> 00:41:09,635
With studying, school,
and stuff, you know.
879
00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:11,737
Yeah, well, you should
come to my study group.
880
00:41:11,737 --> 00:41:14,720
I think it would really
help you concentrate.
881
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:16,908
Like, I really don't see
how you get anything done
882
00:41:16,908 --> 00:41:20,111
Living in that house
with a bunch of losers.
883
00:41:22,514 --> 00:41:25,500
Ross?
884
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:26,652
Ross?
885
00:41:26,652 --> 00:41:28,887
Have you heard
anything I just said?
886
00:41:28,887 --> 00:41:30,522
Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Studying.
887
00:41:30,522 --> 00:41:31,690
We can do that sometime.
888
00:41:31,690 --> 00:41:33,358
Yeah, look, I gotta
get back to work...
889
00:41:33,358 --> 00:41:35,994
Uh, studying for work.
890
00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:36,995
Okay.
891
00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:38,396
I gotta go, okay?
892
00:41:38,396 --> 00:41:40,532
Bye.
Yeah.
893
00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:42,534
Uh, Ross?
894
00:41:42,534 --> 00:41:44,903
Isn't it that way?
895
00:41:44,903 --> 00:41:47,238
Yeah. [Laughs]
Guess so.
896
00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:48,707
Thank you.
897
00:41:50,909 --> 00:41:54,450
Okay, so who's
up to bat?
898
00:41:54,450 --> 00:41:57,949
Former reality TV
personality Debbie Ballard.
899
00:41:57,949 --> 00:41:59,851
She's the one
that ate that bull cock
900
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,953
To win a challenge.
901
00:42:05,724 --> 00:42:08,627
Sorry, kwan. She's actually
got a special request.
902
00:42:10,596 --> 00:42:13,398
Nope. Black.
903
00:42:13,398 --> 00:42:15,266
Classic mud shark.
904
00:42:17,435 --> 00:42:18,469
Marcus.
905
00:42:18,469 --> 00:42:19,738
I can't.
906
00:42:19,738 --> 00:42:21,272
Sure, you can.
It's easy.
907
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:25,577
In, out, in, out,
in, out.
908
00:42:25,577 --> 00:42:26,578
I can't do it.
909
00:42:26,578 --> 00:42:27,846
It's gonna be outside,
910
00:42:27,846 --> 00:42:29,347
So it'll help you
with your claustrophobia.
911
00:42:29,347 --> 00:42:31,382
We're actually going
for some better
production value.
912
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:33,284
Seriously,
I don't think I can.
913
00:42:33,284 --> 00:42:34,886
You can
and you will.
914
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:39,570
Okay.
915
00:42:40,910 --> 00:42:42,930
Okay.
916
00:42:42,930 --> 00:42:43,895
Good.
917
00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:46,297
Better dust off
your cock, knave.
918
00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:47,298
You're on deck.
919
00:42:47,298 --> 00:42:49,567
No, not happening.
No way.
920
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,803
Yes way.
921
00:42:51,803 --> 00:42:53,710
You know how much
money we'd make
922
00:42:53,710 --> 00:42:55,506
If you lost
your cherry on camera?
923
00:42:55,506 --> 00:42:58,176
Virgins are
big business, dude.
924
00:42:58,176 --> 00:42:59,510
Like, I don't care.
925
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:00,846
Look, I don't mind
helping you guys out,
926
00:43:00,846 --> 00:43:04,616
But I will never, ever
have sex on camera, okay?
927
00:43:04,616 --> 00:43:06,170
Shut the fuck up, you two.
928
00:43:06,170 --> 00:43:08,754
We're gonna be late
for Marcus' scene.
929
00:43:08,754 --> 00:43:11,356
It's time to build
the course.
930
00:43:12,624 --> 00:43:14,693
[Gulp]
931
00:43:14,693 --> 00:43:15,961
[Whistle]
932
00:43:15,961 --> 00:43:18,997
Challenger,
in order to win this,
933
00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:21,900
You must up that bucket
with water.
934
00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:24,736
That doesn't sound hard.
935
00:43:24,736 --> 00:43:26,337
You have 30 seconds
936
00:43:26,337 --> 00:43:28,874
While I shoot at you
with a paintball gun.
937
00:43:30,308 --> 00:43:31,476
Go!
938
00:43:31,476 --> 00:43:32,510
Ow! Ow!
939
00:43:32,510 --> 00:43:34,680
Ow! Ow! Oh, God!
940
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,347
Move it, you loser.
941
00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:40,618
I'm coming.
942
00:43:43,354 --> 00:43:44,355
Move it!
943
00:43:44,355 --> 00:43:45,590
I'm coming. Oh, God.
944
00:43:45,590 --> 00:43:47,759
I'm coming.
Come on!
945
00:43:47,759 --> 00:43:49,227
Come on, you pussy!
946
00:43:53,310 --> 00:43:54,165
Hey!
947
00:43:54,165 --> 00:43:55,734
I'm coming.
948
00:43:56,768 --> 00:43:59,104
I'm coming.
Four!
949
00:43:59,104 --> 00:44:00,380
One!
950
00:44:03,809 --> 00:44:05,176
You did it!
951
00:44:05,176 --> 00:44:07,145
[Panting]
952
00:44:12,250 --> 00:44:14,190
Come claim your prize.
953
00:44:14,190 --> 00:44:15,821
Okay.
954
00:44:16,788 --> 00:44:19,490
Time to go head first.
955
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:20,992
Yeah!
956
00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:22,193
Whoa.
957
00:44:22,193 --> 00:44:25,731
That's it.
Munch away, brother.
958
00:44:25,731 --> 00:44:27,799
Like mashed potatoes
and gravy.
959
00:44:27,799 --> 00:44:30,100
Oh! Oh, yeah.
960
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:31,937
[Gasping]
I can't breathe.
961
00:44:31,937 --> 00:44:34,339
My pussy's got
all the oxygen you need.
962
00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:36,374
Actually, there's
only 6.8 ounces of oxygen
963
00:44:36,374 --> 00:44:37,809
In the average vagina.
964
00:44:37,809 --> 00:44:39,210
That would last
a man my size
965
00:44:39,210 --> 00:44:42,147
About 12 uninterrupted
minutes theoretically.
966
00:44:42,147 --> 00:44:43,248
Shut up!
967
00:44:44,282 --> 00:44:47,520
Yeah! Yeah!
968
00:44:48,553 --> 00:44:51,122
Aah! I'm gonna blow!
969
00:44:51,122 --> 00:44:51,923
What?
970
00:44:51,923 --> 00:44:55,260
I'm a squirter. Yeah!
971
00:44:55,260 --> 00:44:55,827
[Splat]
972
00:44:55,827 --> 00:44:58,964
Aah! Aah!
973
00:44:58,964 --> 00:45:00,365
Aah!
974
00:45:05,837 --> 00:45:07,472
My inhaler.
975
00:45:07,472 --> 00:45:08,740
My inhaler.
976
00:45:08,740 --> 00:45:10,800
My inhaler.
977
00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:12,643
So is she.
978
00:45:12,643 --> 00:45:15,380
[Groaning]
My inhaler!
979
00:45:17,648 --> 00:45:19,217
Oh, my God.
That's that guy.
980
00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:20,651
That's ed.
981
00:45:20,651 --> 00:45:22,387
I heard he boned
raven Simone.
982
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:23,822
Yeah?
Yeah.
983
00:45:23,822 --> 00:45:25,900
And tea-bagged Meg Ryan.
984
00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:26,324
Fuck, yeah.
[Laughs]
985
00:45:26,324 --> 00:45:28,693
I mean, you got to
make sure to moisturize.
986
00:45:28,693 --> 00:45:30,280
It's the most
important thing.
987
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,463
Dude, I only use lotion
for when I masturbate.
988
00:45:32,463 --> 00:45:34,866
Dude, you're not
even capitalizing
989
00:45:34,866 --> 00:45:36,134
On what lotion can do.
990
00:45:36,134 --> 00:45:37,468
I mean, dude,
check out my muscles.
991
00:45:37,468 --> 00:45:38,636
Let me get some of that.
992
00:45:38,636 --> 00:45:40,380
Get some.
Get on that.
993
00:45:40,380 --> 00:45:42,400
Why would you even be
waiting on anything?
994
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:43,541
I mean, just do it.
995
00:45:43,541 --> 00:45:46,411
Right?
996
00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:47,545
So soft and...
997
00:45:47,545 --> 00:45:48,579
Ed!
998
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:49,647
Ed, dude!
999
00:45:49,647 --> 00:45:51,416
What's up, brah?
Come here.
1000
00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:53,651
Yeah, bring it in, ed.
Bring it in.
1001
00:45:53,651 --> 00:45:54,719
Yeah, what's...
1002
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,154
Hey. Oh, dude,
1003
00:45:56,154 --> 00:45:57,789
You should come
by the house tonight.
1004
00:45:57,789 --> 00:45:59,891
Oh, man,
it's going to be a rager.
1005
00:45:59,891 --> 00:46:01,692
Oh, man, we're
gonna have kegs,
1006
00:46:01,692 --> 00:46:03,428
Drugs. [Laughs]
1007
00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:04,529
Sluts. Sluts.
1008
00:46:04,529 --> 00:46:05,797
Definitely sluts.
1009
00:46:05,797 --> 00:46:07,198
All right,
1010
00:46:07,198 --> 00:46:10,768
Who's the next contestant
on "fuck me famous"?
1011
00:46:13,710 --> 00:46:15,173
We're still getting a shit ton
of fucking emails.
1012
00:46:15,173 --> 00:46:17,742
I just got one
from a Liz Cooper.
1013
00:46:17,742 --> 00:46:19,100
Liz Cooper played
coach shearson
1014
00:46:19,100 --> 00:46:20,912
In seasons two and three
of hoops high.
1015
00:46:20,912 --> 00:46:23,281
Okay.
Uh, Katie Mayer.
1016
00:46:23,281 --> 00:46:25,160
Katie Mayer played
janey the secretary
1017
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,852
On the first season
of Chicago sons.
1018
00:46:26,852 --> 00:46:28,619
Holy shit.
1019
00:46:28,619 --> 00:46:31,823
She just sent us a nice little
photo of herself here.
1020
00:46:36,394 --> 00:46:37,595
Look at that ass.
1021
00:46:37,595 --> 00:46:38,629
Marcus!
Ross?
1022
00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:40,198
Asperger.
Uh, Marcus?
1023
00:46:40,198 --> 00:46:41,833
You're acting
really weird today.
1024
00:46:41,833 --> 00:46:44,102
Did you
take your medicine?
1025
00:46:44,102 --> 00:46:45,236
What, nothin'.
Oh, hi.
1026
00:46:45,236 --> 00:46:46,872
Hey, babe,
what's going on?
1027
00:46:48,273 --> 00:46:49,340
Hi.
1028
00:46:49,340 --> 00:46:51,576
Uh, what's going
on here, Ross?
1029
00:46:51,576 --> 00:46:54,379
Oh,
just hangin' out.
1030
00:46:54,379 --> 00:46:55,780
Bein' dudes.
1031
00:46:55,780 --> 00:46:57,615
Looking at dirty porno
on the Internet.
1032
00:46:57,615 --> 00:46:58,616
[Laughter]
1033
00:46:58,616 --> 00:47:00,218
Jk, no we're not.
1034
00:47:00,218 --> 00:47:03,388
We're playing card games
and such.
1035
00:47:03,388 --> 00:47:06,257
[Laughs]
1036
00:47:06,257 --> 00:47:09,427
Oh, well, well.
What have we here?
1037
00:47:09,427 --> 00:47:12,300
Looks like our friend
Jillian bane
1038
00:47:12,300 --> 00:47:15,100
Just got a series regular gig
on the new CSI: Jersey.
1039
00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:16,301
She's going to be playing
1040
00:47:16,301 --> 00:47:19,604
A junkie hooker-
slash-police informant.
1041
00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:20,939
Huh. Wow.
1042
00:47:20,939 --> 00:47:22,707
She went from not working
for the past six years
1043
00:47:22,707 --> 00:47:26,440
To getting a series regular
gig on a big network show.
1044
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,480
Wonder what
caused that, Ross.
1045
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:30,681
What?
I wouldn't know.
1046
00:47:30,681 --> 00:47:31,849
I don't know.
1047
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:33,251
Yeah, um...
1048
00:47:33,251 --> 00:47:36,621
Ross,
can I talk to you outside?
1049
00:47:36,621 --> 00:47:37,923
Of course.
1050
00:47:41,626 --> 00:47:43,294
Dick.
1051
00:47:43,294 --> 00:47:46,310
Hey, if I'm not
getting laid, nobody is.
1052
00:47:50,735 --> 00:47:53,710
So, uh,
what's going on?
1053
00:47:53,710 --> 00:47:54,439
You're not
answering my texts,
1054
00:47:54,439 --> 00:47:55,974
Your phone goes
straight to voicemail.
1055
00:47:55,974 --> 00:47:57,943
I mean, if I didn't
know any better,
1056
00:47:57,943 --> 00:48:00,845
It's like you're
trying to avoid me.
1057
00:48:00,845 --> 00:48:02,313
No. I'm not...
1058
00:48:02,313 --> 00:48:03,414
I don't know.
1059
00:48:03,414 --> 00:48:05,450
I've just been really
busy with, you know,
1060
00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,819
School and studying
and other stuff.
1061
00:48:08,819 --> 00:48:11,256
But, hey,
1062
00:48:11,256 --> 00:48:13,624
You know you're the most
important thing to me, right?
1063
00:48:13,624 --> 00:48:15,860
Right?
1064
00:48:15,860 --> 00:48:18,229
I'm sorry I've been
a bit distant lately.
1065
00:48:20,165 --> 00:48:22,767
Um, I was on the hill
just now and I saw ed,
1066
00:48:22,767 --> 00:48:24,202
And, you know,
palling around
1067
00:48:24,202 --> 00:48:27,720
With, um, Delaney mulroy
and, um...
1068
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:29,174
Anyways, he gave me
a letter for you,
1069
00:48:29,174 --> 00:48:31,776
Told me
to give it to you.
1070
00:48:31,776 --> 00:48:33,178
Really?
1071
00:48:37,348 --> 00:48:39,417
Ed:
"Ross dog, sex ed here.
1072
00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:42,320
"I'm taking a little vacation
from fucking on camera.
1073
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:43,521
"Me and Delaney
are going to slay
1074
00:48:43,521 --> 00:48:45,190
"Some sorority gash
all weekend.
1075
00:48:45,190 --> 00:48:47,225
"But the show must go on.
1076
00:48:47,225 --> 00:48:49,327
"We've only got
200k left to make.
1077
00:48:49,327 --> 00:48:50,962
"So make sure
to shoot a few videos.
1078
00:48:50,962 --> 00:48:52,430
"Man up, brah!
1079
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:53,431
Sex ed, out."
1080
00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:54,665
Oh, fuck.
1081
00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:56,434
Hey,
watch your language.
1082
00:48:56,434 --> 00:48:57,602
Sorry.
1083
00:48:59,470 --> 00:49:02,207
Hey, I'm gonna skip
my third period psych class.
1084
00:49:02,207 --> 00:49:03,774
Do you want to
go grab a bite to eat?
1085
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,430
Yes.
1086
00:49:05,430 --> 00:49:06,477
Fuck, yeah.
Me, too.
1087
00:49:06,477 --> 00:49:08,130
I'm starving.
1088
00:49:08,130 --> 00:49:12,250
Get some. Get some.
Yeah.
1089
00:49:12,250 --> 00:49:14,452
Come on, dawg.
Kill it.
1090
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:16,721
I can do this.
I'm the game master.
1091
00:49:16,721 --> 00:49:17,755
I got this.
Oh, come on.
1092
00:49:17,755 --> 00:49:19,557
[All three talking]
1093
00:49:19,557 --> 00:49:20,992
Hi, guys.
1094
00:49:20,992 --> 00:49:22,560
Is now a good time?
1095
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,329
Well, can't
you see that I am bus...
1096
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:29,334
[Laughs]
1097
00:49:29,334 --> 00:49:31,302
Ahh.
1098
00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:32,103
Well...
1099
00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:33,804
Hi.
Ohh.
1100
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:36,507
Isn't this special? Huh.
1101
00:49:36,507 --> 00:49:41,279
We got
the whole fucking band here.
1102
00:49:41,279 --> 00:49:44,490
Ross and the skid marks.
1103
00:49:44,490 --> 00:49:45,983
Now, you...
1104
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:49,654
Got some
really big, hairy balls.
1105
00:49:49,654 --> 00:49:51,989
To keep taking advantage
1106
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:54,792
Of those desperate girls
on videotape.
1107
00:49:54,792 --> 00:49:56,194
No, no, no,
Danny.
1108
00:49:56,194 --> 00:49:58,729
Uh, "Mr. silver."
1109
00:49:58,729 --> 00:50:01,990
Mr. silver, look, they...
1110
00:50:01,990 --> 00:50:02,667
They're contacting us,
okay?
1111
00:50:02,667 --> 00:50:05,236
We've got all these low-rent
actresses emailing us.
1112
00:50:05,236 --> 00:50:08,500
[Laughing] Now,
Mr. silver, he's lying,
1113
00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:09,240
Your majesty.
1114
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:11,109
I saw Ross talk
to a girl. I did.
1115
00:50:11,109 --> 00:50:13,780
Jillian banes
at the comic convention.
1116
00:50:13,780 --> 00:50:15,246
I know. I know.
1117
00:50:15,246 --> 00:50:18,983
Now, that drunk bitch's
career ended years ago.
1118
00:50:18,983 --> 00:50:21,552
She was already dead
in the water.
1119
00:50:21,552 --> 00:50:24,455
Nobody was ever going to
cast her again in anything.
1120
00:50:24,455 --> 00:50:28,426
Not until
the whole world sees
1121
00:50:28,426 --> 00:50:34,332
Her getting her cyborg
bush plowed online.
1122
00:50:34,332 --> 00:50:36,434
It's kind of weird,
I know.
1123
00:50:36,434 --> 00:50:37,968
Mmm...
1124
00:50:37,968 --> 00:50:41,739
So that's
why you shit stains
1125
00:50:41,739 --> 00:50:47,545
Are going to keep making your
videos with my new clients.
1126
00:50:47,545 --> 00:50:49,480
[Laughing]
1127
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:51,349
Oh, there's
no need to worry, fellas,
1128
00:50:51,349 --> 00:50:54,452
There's enough
to go around, okay?
1129
00:50:54,452 --> 00:50:57,488
Yes.
1130
00:50:57,488 --> 00:50:59,724
And the muff scuba diver,
1131
00:50:59,724 --> 00:51:02,593
You're going to
get another chance.
1132
00:51:02,593 --> 00:51:04,762
[Laughing]
1133
00:51:04,762 --> 00:51:06,431
Ichiro,
1134
00:51:06,431 --> 00:51:09,667
Get ready to get back
in the game, son.
1135
00:51:09,667 --> 00:51:14,380
And even your dungeon master's
high-cholesterol ass
1136
00:51:14,380 --> 00:51:17,975
Is getting
on the pussy treadmill.
1137
00:51:17,975 --> 00:51:19,277
What does that even mean?
1138
00:51:19,277 --> 00:51:20,911
Oh, yeah.
1139
00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:22,413
And your cameraman,
1140
00:51:22,413 --> 00:51:24,982
He'll have
to dip his wick, too.
1141
00:51:24,982 --> 00:51:26,884
That's a fucking promise.
1142
00:51:26,884 --> 00:51:28,353
The chat room trolls
1143
00:51:28,353 --> 00:51:32,390
Are suckers
for lily white virgins.
1144
00:51:33,391 --> 00:51:34,592
Ross?
1145
00:51:34,592 --> 00:51:38,296
Oh, now,
what do we have here?
1146
00:51:40,970 --> 00:51:41,466
Hi. Kim.
1147
00:51:41,466 --> 00:51:44,535
Mmm. I'm Ross'
old friend, Danny.
1148
00:51:47,370 --> 00:51:49,106
You're very,
very attractive.
1149
00:51:49,907 --> 00:51:51,410
Are you an actress?
1150
00:51:51,410 --> 00:51:52,443
No.
1151
00:51:52,443 --> 00:51:55,780
Have you done
any acting, uh...
1152
00:51:55,780 --> 00:51:57,810
Online?
1153
00:51:57,810 --> 00:51:58,983
Look, that's enough.
1154
00:51:58,983 --> 00:52:02,553
Oh, she's
more than enough.
1155
00:52:02,553 --> 00:52:05,856
I'd really love to
stay and chat a while,
1156
00:52:05,856 --> 00:52:08,580
But I must get going.
1157
00:52:08,580 --> 00:52:10,161
Kim, huh?
1158
00:52:10,161 --> 00:52:11,362
I'll be in touch.
1159
00:52:13,264 --> 00:52:15,233
You start tomorrow.
1160
00:52:16,534 --> 00:52:18,269
Tomorrow?
1161
00:52:18,269 --> 00:52:20,700
Start what?
1162
00:52:20,700 --> 00:52:21,138
What? Uh...
1163
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:22,307
What was that?
1164
00:52:22,307 --> 00:52:23,941
Uh, we don't
really know him.
1165
00:52:23,941 --> 00:52:25,843
He's just one
of Ed's friends.
1166
00:52:25,843 --> 00:52:28,279
He seems like
a real slime ball.
1167
00:52:28,279 --> 00:52:30,800
Okay, can we go eat now?
1168
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:31,616
Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
1169
00:52:31,616 --> 00:52:32,850
Okay, okay.
1170
00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:38,550
Holy shit, man.
Was he for real?
1171
00:52:38,550 --> 00:52:39,724
He's trying to Jack us
for our fucking sex tapes.
1172
00:52:39,724 --> 00:52:42,260
With his own docket of
unemployed entertainers.
1173
00:52:42,260 --> 00:52:43,328
This could be bad.
1174
00:52:43,328 --> 00:52:44,962
Never thought
I'd say this, guys,
1175
00:52:44,962 --> 00:52:47,632
But I think
we need ed back.
1176
00:52:49,267 --> 00:52:50,835
Guys,
1177
00:52:50,835 --> 00:52:53,238
I peed my pants again.
1178
00:52:55,606 --> 00:52:58,800
She's here.
Who is it?
1179
00:52:58,800 --> 00:52:59,344
It's Meg lingbren,
1180
00:52:59,344 --> 00:53:00,545
The actress that
played Natalie Bernard
1181
00:53:00,545 --> 00:53:02,280
On the show sin city p.D.
1182
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:04,915
Oh, yeah.
I remember that show.
1183
00:53:04,915 --> 00:53:06,651
Holy shit.
1184
00:53:06,651 --> 00:53:08,586
Oh, my God,
is it that showgirl?
1185
00:53:08,586 --> 00:53:09,854
Uh, no.
1186
00:53:09,854 --> 00:53:12,189
The hot detective?
1187
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:13,991
No.
1188
00:53:13,991 --> 00:53:15,293
What?
1189
00:53:15,293 --> 00:53:16,794
Who is...
1190
00:53:18,996 --> 00:53:20,231
It's not the...
1191
00:53:20,231 --> 00:53:21,799
It's the chief.
1192
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,370
How's it goin'?
1193
00:53:25,370 --> 00:53:29,340
So, which one of you boys
is gonna fuck me?
1194
00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:31,376
Answer, answer.
1195
00:53:31,376 --> 00:53:33,744
Ed, answer,
answer, answer.
1196
00:53:33,744 --> 00:53:35,313
[Frat boys chanting]
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
1197
00:53:35,313 --> 00:53:36,481
[Cell phone ringing]
1198
00:53:36,481 --> 00:53:38,283
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
1199
00:53:38,283 --> 00:53:40,751
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
1200
00:53:40,751 --> 00:53:41,952
Sex Ed's phone!
1201
00:53:41,952 --> 00:53:43,254
Ross: Ed!
1202
00:53:43,254 --> 00:53:45,220
No, no, no,
this is Delaney!
1203
00:53:45,220 --> 00:53:46,457
This is Delaney!
1204
00:53:46,457 --> 00:53:48,493
Sex Ed's busy pounding
some brew dogs!
1205
00:53:48,493 --> 00:53:50,961
Put him on the phone,
Delaney! It's important!
1206
00:53:50,961 --> 00:53:52,763
All right,
all right.
1207
00:53:56,233 --> 00:53:57,635
Shit!
1208
00:53:59,370 --> 00:54:00,971
There's only
one thing to do, guys.
1209
00:54:00,971 --> 00:54:02,773
What?
Put 'em up.
1210
00:54:02,773 --> 00:54:04,800
Okay.
1211
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:05,776
One, two, three.
1212
00:54:05,776 --> 00:54:07,440
Oh! God damn it!
1213
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:08,178
Okay, okay, okay.
1214
00:54:08,178 --> 00:54:09,179
One, two, three.
1215
00:54:09,179 --> 00:54:10,214
Motherfucker.
1216
00:54:10,214 --> 00:54:11,316
Yeah, okay.
1217
00:54:11,316 --> 00:54:13,618
One, two, three.
1218
00:54:13,618 --> 00:54:15,520
Yes.
1219
00:54:20,900 --> 00:54:21,526
Take all the time
you need, man.
1220
00:54:21,526 --> 00:54:23,600
It's okay.
It's all right.
1221
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,830
[Somber music playing]
1222
00:54:47,552 --> 00:54:49,987
Son, it must be late there.
1223
00:54:49,987 --> 00:54:51,550
What's the matter?
1224
00:54:54,892 --> 00:54:58,363
They're with you always
in your heart.
1225
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:03,734
Through
the most troubling times.
1226
00:55:06,771 --> 00:55:07,805
Kwan.
1227
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,108
[Thud]
1228
00:55:47,177 --> 00:55:49,514
[Slow-motion shout]
1229
00:55:50,314 --> 00:55:51,549
[Shouts]
1230
00:55:54,151 --> 00:55:56,253
It's our biggest hit yet.
1231
00:55:56,253 --> 00:55:59,289
I guess people like seeing you
have giant knee-shooter jugs
1232
00:55:59,289 --> 00:56:00,825
Block out the sun.
1233
00:56:00,825 --> 00:56:02,860
This isn't cool, man.
I mean, look at kwan.
1234
00:56:03,761 --> 00:56:05,896
Now, we've gotta
call the cops.
1235
00:56:05,896 --> 00:56:08,833
Impossible. Marcus,
how much are we short?
1236
00:56:08,833 --> 00:56:13,504
$171,453.44.
1237
00:56:13,504 --> 00:56:15,239
We fucked our way
into the tunnel,
1238
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:16,641
And now we
can see some light.
1239
00:56:16,641 --> 00:56:19,343
Yeah, whatever
you say, sex ed.
1240
00:56:19,343 --> 00:56:20,945
What's that
supposed to mean?
1241
00:56:20,945 --> 00:56:21,979
[Boing]
1242
00:56:21,979 --> 00:56:25,550
Wait. D-bag silver
just emailed us.
1243
00:56:25,550 --> 00:56:28,520
We got another client.
1244
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:29,186
Who is it?
1245
00:56:29,186 --> 00:56:30,621
Oh, this
should be interesting.
1246
00:56:30,621 --> 00:56:32,890
Says here plushy fetish.
1247
00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:34,459
I got this.
1248
00:56:34,459 --> 00:56:35,726
Yeah, yeah totally.
1249
00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:37,628
Show us how it's done,
sex ed.
1250
00:56:37,628 --> 00:56:39,730
I will, virgin.
1251
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:42,332
Fuck me, bucky!
Fuck me!
1252
00:56:42,332 --> 00:56:45,350
Yeah! Yeah,
dick me, bucky.
1253
00:56:45,350 --> 00:56:46,471
Dick me, dick me!
1254
00:56:46,471 --> 00:56:48,105
I'm gonna dick you!
1255
00:56:48,105 --> 00:56:49,306
Bucky, fuck me!
1256
00:56:49,306 --> 00:56:50,908
Oh, she's got
some serious issues.
1257
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:52,510
She played
cheerleader Abby Collins
1258
00:56:52,510 --> 00:56:54,211
On lakeway heights
for six seasons.
1259
00:56:54,211 --> 00:56:57,114
After the show was canceled,
she played another cheerleader,
1260
00:56:57,114 --> 00:57:01,285
Darcy cummings, on thousand
palms for four seasons.
1261
00:57:01,285 --> 00:57:03,220
Yeah, I love it when
you talk dirty to me.
1262
00:57:03,220 --> 00:57:04,388
Talk dirty to me.
1263
00:57:04,388 --> 00:57:06,390
Okay, um...
1264
00:57:06,390 --> 00:57:07,525
You like bucky, bitch?
1265
00:57:07,525 --> 00:57:09,494
No!
No?
1266
00:57:09,494 --> 00:57:11,562
No, say it like bucky.
1267
00:57:11,562 --> 00:57:12,797
Say it like bucky.
1268
00:57:12,797 --> 00:57:15,566
[High-pitched voice]
You like bucky, bitch?
1269
00:57:15,566 --> 00:57:18,135
No, chirp
like a chipmunk!
1270
00:57:18,135 --> 00:57:19,670
Chirp, motherfucker!
Chirp!
1271
00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:22,439
[Chirping]
Yeah! Yeah!
1272
00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:24,174
[Laughing]
1273
00:57:24,174 --> 00:57:26,644
Dude.
1274
00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,715
[Both laugh]
1275
00:57:31,582 --> 00:57:33,317
Yeah!
1276
00:57:33,317 --> 00:57:34,585
Fuck me, bucky.
1277
00:57:34,585 --> 00:57:36,921
[Knock on door]
Fuck me! Yeah!
1278
00:57:36,921 --> 00:57:40,758
Yeah, dick me, bucky!
Dick me! Dick me!
1279
00:57:40,758 --> 00:57:43,528
[Gasps]
Ross, Kim's at the door.
1280
00:57:43,528 --> 00:57:44,895
Ross, Kim's at the door!
1281
00:57:44,895 --> 00:57:46,230
Cover for me.
What?
1282
00:57:46,230 --> 00:57:47,565
I'm not here.
No.
1283
00:57:47,565 --> 00:57:49,366
All right, get going.
1284
00:57:49,366 --> 00:57:50,901
Hey, guys.
Hi, Kimberly.
1285
00:57:50,901 --> 00:57:52,302
Where's, uh...
1286
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:53,704
What happened to you?
1287
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,609
Okay, whatever.
Where's Ross?
1288
00:57:58,609 --> 00:58:02,212
He's not here right now
in this room.
1289
00:58:02,212 --> 00:58:03,548
Not right now.
1290
00:58:03,548 --> 00:58:06,450
We'll tell him you
stopped by.
1291
00:58:06,450 --> 00:58:07,552
What are you wearing?
1292
00:58:07,552 --> 00:58:09,820
Black people clothes.
1293
00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:11,822
[Girl moaning]
What was that?
1294
00:58:11,822 --> 00:58:14,525
We are performing a live action
role playing exercise.
1295
00:58:14,525 --> 00:58:16,600
Yeah. [Chirping]
1296
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,495
[Both chirping]
1297
00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:21,198
Okay, okay,
you guys have fun.
1298
00:58:22,366 --> 00:58:23,801
Tell Ross to call me.
1299
00:58:23,801 --> 00:58:25,369
Okay.
1300
00:58:25,369 --> 00:58:26,837
Bye.
1301
00:58:29,774 --> 00:58:32,710
Oh, God, I almost had
a fucking heart attack.
1302
00:58:39,316 --> 00:58:42,860
[Laughing]
1303
00:58:43,287 --> 00:58:44,722
Dude, brah!
1304
00:58:44,722 --> 00:58:47,357
Oh, man.
Way to pound it, sex ed.
1305
00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:49,930
Yeah.
1306
00:58:49,930 --> 00:58:50,294
What a freak.
1307
00:58:50,294 --> 00:58:52,960
And I think I almost
threw my back out, too.
1308
00:58:53,931 --> 00:58:56,660
What's wrong with you?
1309
00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:59,469
Oh, my God. Kim
almost busted us, man.
1310
00:58:59,469 --> 00:59:00,805
Oh, my God.
1311
00:59:00,805 --> 00:59:02,272
If she would've known
I was in here,
1312
00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:04,775
She'd have grabbed a knife
and killed us all.
1313
00:59:04,775 --> 00:59:05,810
She would have.
1314
00:59:05,810 --> 00:59:08,345
Hey, there,
chirpy chippers.
1315
00:59:08,345 --> 00:59:10,314
Where the hell do
you think you're going?
1316
00:59:10,314 --> 00:59:12,820
I wasn't done with you.
1317
00:59:12,820 --> 00:59:13,350
Sorry, babe.
1318
00:59:13,350 --> 00:59:16,120
This squirrel's busted
his last nut for the night.
1319
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:19,890
You're a goddamn chipmunk,
not a squirrel.
1320
00:59:24,294 --> 00:59:25,295
Hey, babe!
1321
00:59:25,295 --> 00:59:27,297
Oh! I've missed you.
1322
00:59:27,297 --> 00:59:28,298
So you're here.
1323
00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:29,934
Give me a kiss, num nums.
1324
00:59:29,934 --> 00:59:31,268
How you doing?
So you're here.
1325
00:59:31,268 --> 00:59:32,870
Yeah.
Um, I was just...
1326
00:59:32,870 --> 00:59:34,739
I was coming back 'cause I
want to give you a note.
1327
00:59:34,739 --> 00:59:35,840
Well, I'm here now.
1328
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,474
You can just
tell me what it says.
1329
00:59:37,474 --> 00:59:40,778
Well, no. I think you'd
really like what's in it.
1330
00:59:40,778 --> 00:59:42,980
Oh.
Yeah.
1331
00:59:42,980 --> 00:59:44,314
Okay.
1332
00:59:44,314 --> 00:59:46,684
[Laughs]
1333
00:59:46,684 --> 00:59:48,986
Oh. Oh, it...
Yeah.
1334
00:59:48,986 --> 00:59:49,987
Yeah?
1335
00:59:49,987 --> 00:59:51,488
You know,
I think it's about time.
1336
00:59:51,488 --> 00:59:52,723
Yeah?
1337
00:59:52,723 --> 00:59:54,825
Yeah, me... me, too.
1338
00:59:54,825 --> 00:59:57,940
Look really, me, too. I...
1339
00:59:57,940 --> 01:00:00,430
But not now.
Like, not here, I mean...
1340
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,999
Maybe somewhere special...
1341
01:00:01,999 --> 01:00:04,268
Hey, Ross, you want
to be my sex chipmunk?
1342
01:00:05,502 --> 01:00:06,771
Oh, hi. I'm Mandy,
1343
01:00:06,771 --> 01:00:08,673
And I love girl-on-girl.
1344
01:00:08,673 --> 01:00:10,407
I don't know her.
1345
01:00:10,407 --> 01:00:11,809
I don't know her.
1346
01:00:12,677 --> 01:00:14,712
Really? Kim!
1347
01:00:14,712 --> 01:00:16,613
What's her problem?
1348
01:00:19,549 --> 01:00:21,585
Atten hut!
1349
01:00:21,585 --> 01:00:24,488
Ten hut,
general Dougie, sir.
1350
01:00:24,488 --> 01:00:26,560
At ease, ladies.
1351
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:28,693
Now drop and give me 69.
1352
01:00:28,693 --> 01:00:31,295
Oh, yes general Dougie,
sir.
1353
01:00:31,295 --> 01:00:34,598
Right after I examine
corporal Gina here
1354
01:00:34,598 --> 01:00:37,567
For any detonative
devices.
1355
01:00:37,567 --> 01:00:39,136
Corporal Gina,
1356
01:00:39,136 --> 01:00:42,272
Are you hiding any
illicit contraband?
1357
01:00:42,272 --> 01:00:44,675
No, sir! Ma'am.
1358
01:00:44,675 --> 01:00:46,110
[Laughs]
1359
01:00:46,110 --> 01:00:49,279
I think you have to be
court-martialed
1360
01:00:49,279 --> 01:00:52,983
For bad, bad,
bad behavior!
1361
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:55,485
Oh, yeah. Let me pull
out my soldier.
1362
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:56,954
[Laughs]
1363
01:00:56,954 --> 01:00:57,822
Aah!
1364
01:00:57,822 --> 01:00:58,989
Oh. Oh.
1365
01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:00,357
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1366
01:01:00,357 --> 01:01:01,625
No other male soldiers
in this, all right?
1367
01:01:01,625 --> 01:01:03,270
Don't ask. Don't tell.
1368
01:01:03,270 --> 01:01:05,295
God damn it, Doug, I'm
cutting off your credit.
1369
01:01:05,295 --> 01:01:07,197
Buck.
1370
01:01:07,197 --> 01:01:08,198
Hi, sir.
1371
01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:09,233
God damn it.
1372
01:01:09,233 --> 01:01:13,700
You owe me $7,000 worth
of Jack-off time.
1373
01:01:13,700 --> 01:01:15,973
I'm not gonna extend
no more credit to you, boy.
1374
01:01:15,973 --> 01:01:17,975
Buck, I'm good for it.
1375
01:01:17,975 --> 01:01:19,376
Oh, I know you are.
1376
01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:23,180
In fact, I got a little
proposition for you.
1377
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,820
Lexa, Gina...
1378
01:01:25,820 --> 01:01:26,583
[Laughs]
1379
01:01:26,583 --> 01:01:27,584
Get on out of here.
1380
01:01:27,584 --> 01:01:29,386
Aw!
1381
01:01:31,221 --> 01:01:32,823
Bye, Dougie.
1382
01:01:34,658 --> 01:01:36,693
I've seen your website.
1383
01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:39,329
I know what you're doing.
1384
01:01:39,329 --> 01:01:41,631
The one thing I don't
understand, though,
1385
01:01:41,631 --> 01:01:46,470
Is you work
for www.Pornderosa.Cum.
1386
01:01:46,470 --> 01:01:49,874
And your deal memo stipulates
that anything you do
1387
01:01:49,874 --> 01:01:53,110
In terms of content producing
1388
01:01:53,110 --> 01:01:56,446
Belongs to me
along with all assets.
1389
01:01:56,446 --> 01:01:57,681
What?
1390
01:01:57,681 --> 01:02:01,251
Yep. I want a piece
of the action.
1391
01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:04,354
Doug, I'm willing
to let all this slide
1392
01:02:04,354 --> 01:02:08,258
If you just partner with me
on a little side project.
1393
01:02:08,258 --> 01:02:09,860
I'm listening.
1394
01:02:09,860 --> 01:02:14,799
I wanna do a live,
pay-per-view, Internet fuck fest
1395
01:02:14,799 --> 01:02:18,735
With that young virgin, Ross.
1396
01:02:18,735 --> 01:02:20,805
One night, one hump,
1397
01:02:20,805 --> 01:02:22,372
$1 million.
1398
01:02:22,372 --> 01:02:24,641
Buck, I don't know
if he will.
1399
01:02:24,641 --> 01:02:25,876
He's a pussy.
1400
01:02:25,876 --> 01:02:27,544
He's scared
to fuck on camera.
1401
01:02:27,544 --> 01:02:29,780
Every single one
of your movies
1402
01:02:29,780 --> 01:02:33,918
Has over 25 million views.
1403
01:02:33,918 --> 01:02:38,388
If we can get that young,
sweet, virgin boy
1404
01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:44,280
To pop his cherry and sell
the live stream for $5.00 a pop,
1405
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,970
That's
a whole bunch of clams.
1406
01:02:47,970 --> 01:02:48,498
I think
you can do the math.
1407
01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:51,368
Okay, buck, let me
get back to you on that.
1408
01:02:51,368 --> 01:02:53,503
Oh, and, buck?
1409
01:02:53,503 --> 01:02:55,806
Can you please put
lexa and Gina back on?
1410
01:02:55,806 --> 01:02:56,807
I mean I've
already gotten started.
1411
01:02:56,807 --> 01:02:58,608
I gotta finish up.
1412
01:02:58,608 --> 01:03:01,311
You fucking pervert!
1413
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:04,714
Thanks, buck.
1414
01:03:04,714 --> 01:03:06,817
Now where
were we, ladies?
1415
01:03:06,817 --> 01:03:07,852
[Knock on door,
dialing cell phone]
1416
01:03:07,852 --> 01:03:09,586
Ed:
Open up, brah! Come on!
1417
01:03:09,586 --> 01:03:10,787
Go away!
[Line ringing]
1418
01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,890
You've gotta talk to me,
home slice.
1419
01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:14,859
You're always
the problem, ed.
1420
01:03:14,859 --> 01:03:17,962
You're talking crazy.
Just let me in.
1421
01:03:17,962 --> 01:03:19,396
[Cell phone rings]
1422
01:03:28,973 --> 01:03:30,407
Come on, man.
1423
01:03:30,407 --> 01:03:33,443
She was bound to find out
what you were doing.
1424
01:03:33,443 --> 01:03:34,644
[Bottle clanks in sink]
1425
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:37,747
Yeah, but I wanted to explain
it to her myself, man,
1426
01:03:37,747 --> 01:03:39,416
When the time was right.
1427
01:03:39,416 --> 01:03:42,520
When's the time right
to tell your girlfriend
1428
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:43,153
That you're
making porn videos
1429
01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:44,721
To pay off a psychopath?
1430
01:03:44,721 --> 01:03:48,859
You mean tell her that you
are making porn videos.
1431
01:03:48,859 --> 01:03:50,327
Look I may be the star,
1432
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:51,962
But we're in this
together, brother.
1433
01:03:51,962 --> 01:03:55,432
No. No, you dragged me
into this shit.
1434
01:03:55,432 --> 01:03:57,834
Now she's gone.
1435
01:03:58,869 --> 01:04:00,504
Maybe
that's a good thing.
1436
01:04:00,504 --> 01:04:02,839
What?
1437
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:06,610
Look, Kim's a nice girl.
Too nice.
1438
01:04:06,610 --> 01:04:10,247
She's held your cock
hostage for four years.
1439
01:04:10,247 --> 01:04:11,916
Maybe secretly you
wanted to get caught.
1440
01:04:11,916 --> 01:04:13,117
Now you're free.
1441
01:04:13,117 --> 01:04:14,751
Being free sucks.
1442
01:04:14,751 --> 01:04:16,586
You just gotta
give it a try.
1443
01:04:16,586 --> 01:04:19,456
No. I want her back.
1444
01:04:19,456 --> 01:04:21,358
You're too much
of a goddamn pussy!
1445
01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:23,293
I give up.
It's too much work.
1446
01:04:23,293 --> 01:04:27,197
You ever stop to think if I
wanted your help, ed? Huh?
1447
01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:31,680
You ever think that maybe some
of us are happy the way we are?
1448
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:32,937
Some of us don't have
to go around showing off
1449
01:04:32,937 --> 01:04:34,371
Every single second
of our lives,
1450
01:04:34,371 --> 01:04:36,240
'Cause we don't
actually hate ourselves.
1451
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:38,742
Fuck you.
You're jealous.
1452
01:04:38,742 --> 01:04:40,177
Jealous of what, ed?
1453
01:04:40,177 --> 01:04:42,879
Jealous of you fucking
drunk sleazebags
1454
01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:44,714
And chicks who
are borderline retarded?
1455
01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:46,783
Yes! Exactly.
1456
01:04:46,783 --> 01:04:48,352
God, dude, look at you.
1457
01:04:48,352 --> 01:04:50,354
I don't even know who
you are anymore, asshole.
1458
01:04:50,354 --> 01:04:52,722
Who are you calling
asshole, cock?
1459
01:04:52,722 --> 01:04:54,624
[Both whining]
1460
01:04:57,394 --> 01:04:58,562
[Squealing]
1461
01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:00,797
Unh!
Ow!
1462
01:05:00,797 --> 01:05:02,732
Oh! Aah! Aah!
1463
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,680
Ow! You're a whore!
1464
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:05,635
Aah! Unh!
1465
01:05:07,371 --> 01:05:08,372
Jerk!
1466
01:05:17,948 --> 01:05:19,449
I'm sorry.
1467
01:05:19,449 --> 01:05:21,218
All right, brother.
1468
01:05:21,218 --> 01:05:22,752
Let's see how well
you do without me.
1469
01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:24,188
Fuck you!
1470
01:05:24,188 --> 01:05:27,591
I'm done with all of you
for real this time!
1471
01:05:30,794 --> 01:05:32,796
What is the problem?
1472
01:05:32,796 --> 01:05:35,165
Oh, Ed's out for good.
1473
01:05:35,165 --> 01:05:37,901
So, yeah, we pretty much
have to come up
1474
01:05:37,901 --> 01:05:40,700
With the rest
of the cash on our own.
1475
01:05:40,700 --> 01:05:41,938
What are we short?
1476
01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:45,342
We need to generate $98,000
in the next four days.
1477
01:05:45,342 --> 01:05:47,144
So according
to my calculations,
1478
01:05:47,144 --> 01:05:49,213
We need to
make two more movies,
1479
01:05:49,213 --> 01:05:50,847
And that should
put us over the mark.
1480
01:05:50,847 --> 01:05:52,182
Okay, okay.
1481
01:05:52,182 --> 01:05:53,950
Uh, well, you're gonna
have to do it, Marcus.
1482
01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:55,152
'Cause kwan's...
1483
01:05:55,152 --> 01:05:56,686
I respectfully decline.
1484
01:05:56,686 --> 01:05:59,256
I did my part, and I'm
traumatized for life.
1485
01:05:59,256 --> 01:06:00,824
Trying to get the taste
of female ejaculate
1486
01:06:00,824 --> 01:06:02,359
Out of your mouth
1487
01:06:02,359 --> 01:06:04,280
Is like trying to get
skunk spray off clothing.
1488
01:06:04,280 --> 01:06:05,290
Brush it off, man.
Doesn't matter.
1489
01:06:05,290 --> 01:06:06,263
You're the only one.
1490
01:06:06,263 --> 01:06:07,897
Frankly, I believe
ed has a point.
1491
01:06:07,897 --> 01:06:09,933
You're the only qualified
person yet to contribute,
1492
01:06:09,933 --> 01:06:12,502
And now you're single.
1493
01:06:12,502 --> 01:06:14,438
And factoring in
your virginity,
1494
01:06:14,438 --> 01:06:16,606
Which increases
the coefficient by 4.2.
1495
01:06:16,606 --> 01:06:19,143
And if we carry over the 8,
then that's... whoa.
1496
01:06:19,143 --> 01:06:21,110
What does it say?
What does it mean?
1497
01:06:21,110 --> 01:06:22,212
According
to my calculations,
1498
01:06:22,212 --> 01:06:23,513
I believe that
if you were to perform,
1499
01:06:23,513 --> 01:06:25,582
We will only
need to make one movie.
1500
01:06:25,582 --> 01:06:27,317
That's impossible.
1501
01:06:28,618 --> 01:06:29,919
Oh! What about Doug?
1502
01:06:29,919 --> 01:06:31,155
Yeah, tell kwan to get
1503
01:06:31,155 --> 01:06:32,489
Our next starlet
on the phone.
1504
01:06:48,272 --> 01:06:49,706
Hey, wake up.
[Slap]
1505
01:06:49,706 --> 01:06:50,807
Ow. What...
1506
01:06:50,807 --> 01:06:52,276
Doug, you're up.
What?
1507
01:06:52,276 --> 01:06:53,843
You're up, man.
It's your turn to make a video.
1508
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:55,745
We've got Anna Williams
for you.
1509
01:06:55,745 --> 01:06:57,214
Who?
1510
01:06:57,214 --> 01:06:59,249
Uh, that chick that fell
down a well 20 years ago.
1511
01:06:59,249 --> 01:07:00,250
You have
to have sex with her.
1512
01:07:00,250 --> 01:07:01,685
Me?
Yeah.
1513
01:07:01,685 --> 01:07:05,422
Oh, no. I'm, uh...
I'm all tapped out.
1514
01:07:05,422 --> 01:07:06,656
Dude, what?
1515
01:07:06,656 --> 01:07:07,857
No, you've been waiting
for this forever.
1516
01:07:07,857 --> 01:07:09,126
Come on, get up.
1517
01:07:09,126 --> 01:07:10,527
You've gotta
give me a warning,
1518
01:07:10,527 --> 01:07:11,961
Or I'm gonna take
care of myself first.
1519
01:07:11,961 --> 01:07:13,830
Besides, it's 3:00
in the afternoon.
1520
01:07:13,830 --> 01:07:15,232
Just get ed to do it.
1521
01:07:15,232 --> 01:07:16,566
I'll take care
of the next one.
1522
01:07:16,566 --> 01:07:17,801
Ed's not available.
1523
01:07:17,801 --> 01:07:19,736
Okay, you do it.
1524
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:21,405
No.
1525
01:07:21,405 --> 01:07:22,206
[Sighs]
1526
01:07:22,206 --> 01:07:23,473
Okay, fine.
1527
01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:25,375
Oh, I got it.
Perfect.
1528
01:07:25,375 --> 01:07:26,776
Couple of these
will do the trick.
1529
01:07:26,776 --> 01:07:27,844
Pop 'em quick.
1530
01:07:27,844 --> 01:07:28,845
Hey, whoa, whoa.
1531
01:07:28,845 --> 01:07:29,979
Isn't one enough of those?
1532
01:07:29,979 --> 01:07:31,415
Better safe than sorry.
Mmm!
1533
01:07:31,415 --> 01:07:33,850
I wonder how long it takes
for these things to kick in.
1534
01:07:33,850 --> 01:07:34,951
Oh!
1535
01:07:34,951 --> 01:07:36,453
All right, whatever.
Let's go.
1536
01:07:36,453 --> 01:07:38,155
All right.
Come on. Come on.
1537
01:07:38,155 --> 01:07:39,423
Oh!
1538
01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:43,360
I don't feel
too good, man.
1539
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:45,129
My heart is
beating really fast.
1540
01:07:45,129 --> 01:07:46,363
You'll be fine.
1541
01:07:46,363 --> 01:07:47,731
The side effects
include diarrhea,
1542
01:07:47,731 --> 01:07:49,233
Flushing of the face,
heart palpitations,
1543
01:07:49,233 --> 01:07:50,600
Stroke and coma.
1544
01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:51,901
Like I said,
you'll be fine.
1545
01:07:51,901 --> 01:07:53,470
Go get her.
1546
01:07:53,470 --> 01:07:56,406
Go for it.
Hey, come on over here.
1547
01:07:57,774 --> 01:07:59,976
Hi.
Hi.
1548
01:07:59,976 --> 01:08:01,578
Whoo!
1549
01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:03,247
[Groaning]
1550
01:08:04,848 --> 01:08:06,583
Mmm!
1551
01:08:06,583 --> 01:08:08,485
[Laughing]
1552
01:08:08,485 --> 01:08:09,919
Whoo!
1553
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:13,490
[Laughing and coughing]
1554
01:08:15,125 --> 01:08:16,826
You okay?
1555
01:08:16,826 --> 01:08:17,994
I'm... I'm good.
1556
01:08:17,994 --> 01:08:21,198
Ahh.
Okay, good.
1557
01:08:21,198 --> 01:08:23,667
[Coughing]
1558
01:08:23,667 --> 01:08:24,934
You just relax.
1559
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:26,200
Okay.
1560
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:27,671
Yeah?
Yeah.
1561
01:08:27,671 --> 01:08:28,738
Mmm!
1562
01:08:28,738 --> 01:08:31,275
Ooh! Do
you like what you see?
1563
01:08:31,275 --> 01:08:33,143
Ooh, yeah. Spank me.
1564
01:08:33,143 --> 01:08:34,411
Yeah.
1565
01:08:37,381 --> 01:08:39,583
What am
I supposed to do now?
1566
01:08:39,583 --> 01:08:42,180
Shit! Doug.
1567
01:08:42,180 --> 01:08:43,153
Doug, wake up.
1568
01:08:43,153 --> 01:08:44,888
Don't clap. Don't clap.
1569
01:08:44,888 --> 01:08:46,656
He's still functioning.
He's good. He's just passed out.
1570
01:08:46,656 --> 01:08:48,325
It says
we only have to worry
1571
01:08:48,325 --> 01:08:49,759
If his erection lasts
more than four hours.
1572
01:08:49,759 --> 01:08:52,996
Eww. Are you
sure he's not dead?
1573
01:08:52,996 --> 01:08:54,798
No, keep going.
1574
01:08:54,798 --> 01:08:56,766
Okay. Okay.
1575
01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:58,968
Should
I take his pants off?
1576
01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:00,270
Yeah, sure.
Take 'em down.
1577
01:09:00,270 --> 01:09:02,772
Get comfortable.
1578
01:09:02,772 --> 01:09:03,907
Come on, big boy.
1579
01:09:03,907 --> 01:09:05,209
Ooh!
1580
01:09:05,209 --> 01:09:11,715
All right. Looks
like we are uploaded.
1581
01:09:11,715 --> 01:09:12,982
[Woman moaning]
1582
01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:14,684
Fuck!
I can't believe it.
1583
01:09:14,684 --> 01:09:16,320
Why do I
always miss everything?
1584
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:17,787
I can't believe you
let this woman fuck me
1585
01:09:17,787 --> 01:09:18,788
While I was in a coma.
1586
01:09:18,788 --> 01:09:20,890
Yeah, she's
going pretty wild here.
1587
01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:23,760
Ooh! Ooh, you like that?
1588
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:24,994
You like that?
1589
01:09:24,994 --> 01:09:28,698
That might as well have been
a rock she was humping.
1590
01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:31,235
You didn't feel anything?
Anything at all?
1591
01:09:31,235 --> 01:09:33,637
No! God damn it!
1592
01:09:33,637 --> 01:09:35,205
Ohh!
1593
01:09:35,205 --> 01:09:36,573
Ooh!
1594
01:09:36,573 --> 01:09:38,908
I'm the first virgin
that's not a virgin.
1595
01:09:38,908 --> 01:09:40,430
Stop it.
1596
01:09:40,430 --> 01:09:41,645
It's true.
1597
01:09:41,645 --> 01:09:43,146
Now I know
what parents feel like
1598
01:09:43,146 --> 01:09:44,748
When they adopt kids.
1599
01:09:50,587 --> 01:09:53,423
Well, we're up to
3 million hits already
1600
01:09:53,423 --> 01:09:55,580
With Douglas's video.
1601
01:09:55,580 --> 01:09:56,593
It's good,
but not good enough.
1602
01:10:01,298 --> 01:10:02,499
Yeah, asshole.
1603
01:10:02,499 --> 01:10:03,733
Hey, at least
I got to have sex,
1604
01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:05,235
Even though
I don't remember.
1605
01:10:05,235 --> 01:10:06,570
You just got a face full.
1606
01:10:06,570 --> 01:10:08,638
We're totally fucked, guys.
We have no star.
1607
01:10:09,473 --> 01:10:10,674
I hate to say it,
1608
01:10:10,674 --> 01:10:12,542
But no one
can do it like ed.
1609
01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:15,479
We have three days
to come up with 80 grand
1610
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:17,460
Or else
we go to prison,
1611
01:10:17,460 --> 01:10:18,782
Which means
we're fucked.
1612
01:10:20,116 --> 01:10:22,386
African-American men are
12 times more likely to die
1613
01:10:22,386 --> 01:10:24,530
In prison
than other ethnicities.
1614
01:10:24,530 --> 01:10:25,989
Think, think,
think, think.
1615
01:10:25,989 --> 01:10:27,957
There is one way.
1616
01:10:27,957 --> 01:10:30,590
Doug, you're not starring
in another video.
1617
01:10:30,590 --> 01:10:32,829
No. Porndarosa.Cum.
1618
01:10:32,829 --> 01:10:35,164
They want to do
a cross-promotion with us.
1619
01:10:35,164 --> 01:10:36,165
Why didn't you
fucking say something?
1620
01:10:36,165 --> 01:10:37,367
Will they pay us?
1621
01:10:37,367 --> 01:10:38,435
Yeah.
Not chump change, either.
1622
01:10:38,435 --> 01:10:40,737
We're talking one mil...
1623
01:10:40,737 --> 01:10:43,473
Hundred thousand dollars...
[Gasps]
1624
01:10:43,473 --> 01:10:46,420
If Ross agrees
to lose his virginity
1625
01:10:46,420 --> 01:10:50,146
On a live stream pay-per-view
at the porndarosa stages.
1626
01:10:50,146 --> 01:10:51,848
But I knew he was
too much of a pussy to do it,
1627
01:10:51,848 --> 01:10:53,750
So that's
why I didn't say nothin'.
1628
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:55,919
Yeah, I mean...
1629
01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:57,587
Well...
1630
01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:01,825
Say we're
sorry to who, Danny?
1631
01:11:04,930 --> 01:11:05,895
Actually, yeah.
1632
01:11:05,895 --> 01:11:07,397
Yeah. Why don't
we just find her house,
1633
01:11:07,397 --> 01:11:08,832
And I'll beg for
forgiveness? I mean...
1634
01:11:08,832 --> 01:11:10,567
And we apologize
for recording ed
1635
01:11:10,567 --> 01:11:12,101
Slamming his penis
into her vagina
1636
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:13,370
While she was intoxicated
1637
01:11:13,370 --> 01:11:15,339
Under a mix of narcotics
and alcohol.
1638
01:11:15,339 --> 01:11:16,873
I've got a better idea.
1639
01:11:16,873 --> 01:11:18,875
You guys stay here.
I'll apologize for us.
1640
01:11:18,875 --> 01:11:21,711
But just in case, uh...
1641
01:11:23,790 --> 01:11:25,549
Tell porndarosa yes.
1642
01:11:25,549 --> 01:11:27,384
What? Really?
1643
01:11:27,384 --> 01:11:29,285
It's our plan "b."
1644
01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:30,687
Danny's second option.
1645
01:11:30,687 --> 01:11:34,524
If Melanie doesn't
drop the charges, then...
1646
01:11:34,524 --> 01:11:37,327
Call porndarosa
and tell them to set it up.
1647
01:11:50,540 --> 01:11:52,141
[Doorbell buzzes]
1648
01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:54,430
Man, on intercom: Deliveries to
the service gate on the side.
1649
01:11:54,430 --> 01:11:56,580
No, I'm here
to see mellony Adams.
1650
01:11:56,580 --> 01:11:57,881
Is she expecting you?
1651
01:11:57,881 --> 01:11:59,150
No.
1652
01:11:59,150 --> 01:12:01,851
Then call her manager
and make an appointment.
1653
01:12:01,851 --> 01:12:03,186
I need to talk to her.
It's important.
1654
01:12:03,186 --> 01:12:04,754
Please step away
from the gate.
1655
01:12:04,754 --> 01:12:06,656
Security will be down shortly
to escort you off the property.
1656
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,525
No, no, no.
No, no. Just, uh...
1657
01:12:08,525 --> 01:12:10,560
Just tell her
that I'm the guy
1658
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:12,629
That put her
on the Internet.
1659
01:12:17,967 --> 01:12:19,836
[Gate buzzes]
1660
01:12:23,440 --> 01:12:26,900
Mellony: So...
1661
01:12:26,900 --> 01:12:27,343
Ross.
1662
01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:28,812
So, Ross, um...
1663
01:12:28,812 --> 01:12:31,448
What is it that you wanted
to talk to me about?
1664
01:12:31,448 --> 01:12:34,651
Um, uh, just, uh...
1665
01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:36,420
I just wanted
to see you and...
1666
01:12:36,420 --> 01:12:37,621
Wait.
1667
01:12:37,621 --> 01:12:41,570
Are you... are you
the one that I fucked?
1668
01:12:41,570 --> 01:12:42,158
What?
1669
01:12:42,158 --> 01:12:47,630
Are you the one that
I fucked from that video?
1670
01:12:47,630 --> 01:12:48,465
Okay, look, things are...
1671
01:12:48,465 --> 01:12:51,134
Things are a little fuzzy
from that night.
1672
01:12:51,134 --> 01:12:53,200
Don't really remember.
1673
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,405
And I haven't really
gotten myself, you know,
1674
01:12:55,405 --> 01:12:57,607
Up to watch that
video, so...
1675
01:12:57,607 --> 01:12:59,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no.
1676
01:12:59,800 --> 01:13:01,144
That was... that was ed.
It wasn't me.
1677
01:13:01,144 --> 01:13:02,512
Can I have a muffin?
1678
01:13:02,512 --> 01:13:03,880
Sure.
Yeah, um, so...
1679
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:05,248
Can I have
an orange, too?
1680
01:13:05,248 --> 01:13:06,349
Yeah. No,
help yourself, darlin'.
1681
01:13:06,349 --> 01:13:07,350
Thank you.
1682
01:13:07,350 --> 01:13:10,219
Um, ed? Ed?
1683
01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:14,157
Oh, um, okay. So...
1684
01:13:14,157 --> 01:13:18,728
Well, you can tell ed...
1685
01:13:20,664 --> 01:13:24,133
That I said thank you
for me, please.
1686
01:13:24,133 --> 01:13:25,602
[Laughs]
1687
01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:27,136
Thank you?
1688
01:13:27,136 --> 01:13:29,873
He saved my life.
1689
01:13:32,542 --> 01:13:34,978
What? You're
not mad at us?
1690
01:13:34,978 --> 01:13:36,546
Oh, I was.
1691
01:13:36,546 --> 01:13:38,815
I definitely was.
1692
01:13:38,815 --> 01:13:43,152
But I also realized
that having sex with your...
1693
01:13:43,152 --> 01:13:44,688
Your friend ed
1694
01:13:44,688 --> 01:13:49,959
Was the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
1695
01:13:49,959 --> 01:13:54,698
Okay. You see,
I had hit rock bottom.
1696
01:13:54,698 --> 01:13:58,301
I needed to take a really long,
hard look at myself
1697
01:13:58,301 --> 01:14:00,360
And... And change.
1698
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:02,672
But...
1699
01:14:02,672 --> 01:14:05,241
I'm 27 days clean.
1700
01:14:05,241 --> 01:14:06,643
[Laughs]
I know, it doesn't...
1701
01:14:06,643 --> 01:14:07,977
I know that doesn't
seem like much,
1702
01:14:07,977 --> 01:14:11,280
But I'm actually
really excited about it.
1703
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,717
Wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1704
01:14:13,717 --> 01:14:15,184
But what
about the money?
1705
01:14:15,184 --> 01:14:16,452
Why are
you blackmailing us?
1706
01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:17,587
What?
1707
01:14:17,587 --> 01:14:19,188
Blackmailing you?
1708
01:14:19,188 --> 01:14:20,824
You know, the...
1709
01:14:20,824 --> 01:14:22,225
The half-million
Danny demanded
1710
01:14:22,225 --> 01:14:25,128
To not send us to jail
and, like, kill us?
1711
01:14:25,128 --> 01:14:26,462
He did what?
1712
01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:27,797
Yeah, he's gonna
send us all to jail
1713
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:29,165
If we don't come up
with 80 grand
1714
01:14:29,165 --> 01:14:30,660
In the next two days.
1715
01:14:30,660 --> 01:14:32,301
Okay, no, no, no.
Danny is crazy.
1716
01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:33,402
Yeah, I know. Yeah.
1717
01:14:33,402 --> 01:14:35,204
And I'm sorry
if he hurt you.
1718
01:14:35,204 --> 01:14:37,730
So will you help us?
1719
01:14:38,341 --> 01:14:41,110
Look, I am... i am...
1720
01:14:41,110 --> 01:14:44,470
I am so flattered that you
came here to talk about this
1721
01:14:44,470 --> 01:14:45,549
And get it all out...
1722
01:14:47,283 --> 01:14:50,486
But I can't
help you, sweetie.
1723
01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:52,589
I can't go
back into that world.
1724
01:14:52,589 --> 01:14:54,900
I'm working on me.
1725
01:14:54,900 --> 01:14:55,592
I can't get involved.
1726
01:14:55,592 --> 01:14:57,694
I have to work on me.
1727
01:14:57,694 --> 01:15:00,630
That's what comes first.
1728
01:15:00,630 --> 01:15:03,660
But, um...
1729
01:15:06,102 --> 01:15:07,704
Please, I...
1730
01:15:22,886 --> 01:15:24,387
You got
some news, partner?
1731
01:15:24,387 --> 01:15:26,189
We're ready to do this.
1732
01:15:26,189 --> 01:15:27,624
Under one condition:
1733
01:15:27,624 --> 01:15:28,925
I am the producer
1734
01:15:28,925 --> 01:15:31,294
And I alone handle
all of the money.
1735
01:15:31,294 --> 01:15:33,396
I'll also need an unlimited
lifetime supply
1736
01:15:33,396 --> 01:15:36,866
Of live two-way Jack-off
access on porndarosa.Cum.
1737
01:15:38,768 --> 01:15:41,537
You drive
a hard bargain, partner.
1738
01:15:42,772 --> 01:15:45,800
But you got
yourself a deal.
1739
01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:46,643
Yes!
1740
01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:48,645
* gettin' porn money *
1741
01:15:48,645 --> 01:15:50,379
* gettin' porn and money *
1742
01:15:50,379 --> 01:15:54,170
Lifetime supply. Yeah.
1743
01:16:14,704 --> 01:16:16,272
Tickle, tickle!
1744
01:16:16,272 --> 01:16:18,174
Tickle, tickle.
1745
01:16:18,174 --> 01:16:20,509
I want to spank you.
1746
01:16:20,509 --> 01:16:22,912
Okay, come on, Ross.
1747
01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,313
Come on, Ross.
You got this.
1748
01:16:24,313 --> 01:16:25,849
Come on, come on.
1749
01:16:25,849 --> 01:16:27,784
One drink.
Take a little drink.
1750
01:16:30,190 --> 01:16:31,454
Blech!
1751
01:16:31,454 --> 01:16:32,789
Let's roll.
1752
01:16:32,789 --> 01:16:36,259
[Funk music playing]
1753
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:37,593
Howdy, partners.
1754
01:16:37,593 --> 01:16:39,696
I'm buck Hollister,
president of...
1755
01:16:39,696 --> 01:16:43,266
What the heck?
Get the fuck outta here.
1756
01:16:43,266 --> 01:16:44,567
What are you...?
1757
01:16:44,567 --> 01:16:48,104
President of porndarosa.Cum.
1758
01:16:48,104 --> 01:16:50,600
I'd like to thank you all
for tuning in tonight
1759
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:52,341
To watch
some hot fuck action
1760
01:16:52,341 --> 01:16:55,611
With one of the hottest
young cock stars in the biz.
1761
01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:59,820
Tonight, we got a special
treat.
1762
01:17:01,751 --> 01:17:03,860
We're ready for you.
1763
01:17:03,860 --> 01:17:03,953
Okay.
1764
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:06,220
You ready? You excited?
1765
01:17:06,220 --> 01:17:08,257
You are going
to be waist deep
1766
01:17:08,257 --> 01:17:11,940
In some lady's vajayjay
in, like, 30 seconds.
1767
01:17:11,940 --> 01:17:12,128
Yeah.
1768
01:17:12,128 --> 01:17:13,496
I'm excited.
I'm excited for you.
1769
01:17:13,496 --> 01:17:15,464
Hey, I'd be out there
if I could,
1770
01:17:15,464 --> 01:17:18,167
But can't go back on set.
1771
01:17:18,167 --> 01:17:20,369
Oh, jerk off
once in the corner
1772
01:17:20,369 --> 01:17:22,305
And suddenly you're
public enemy number one.
1773
01:17:22,305 --> 01:17:23,873
All right. All right,
got it, Scotty.
1774
01:17:23,873 --> 01:17:25,842
All right. Thanks, man.
1775
01:17:26,876 --> 01:17:28,577
Fuckin' crazy, man.
1776
01:17:28,577 --> 01:17:30,714
Suck it up, suck it up,
suck it up.
1777
01:17:35,180 --> 01:17:36,920
Okay, you got this.
You got this.
1778
01:17:36,920 --> 01:17:38,187
We're gonna witness
1779
01:17:38,187 --> 01:17:40,456
America's favorite virgin,
Ross ganz,
1780
01:17:40,456 --> 01:17:44,327
Pop his cherry tonight
live on videotape!
1781
01:17:44,327 --> 01:17:47,530
[Chanting] I chi ooh LA
goo chi koopah!
1782
01:17:47,530 --> 01:17:48,932
What the hell
did he just say?
1783
01:17:48,932 --> 01:17:52,368
I don't, um...
Do you have to go potty?
1784
01:17:52,368 --> 01:17:53,536
I don't know.
1785
01:17:53,536 --> 01:17:55,872
Jeez.
1786
01:17:55,872 --> 01:17:58,207
Well, here he is... Ross.
1787
01:17:58,207 --> 01:17:59,675
Come here, boy.
1788
01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:01,100
Hey.
1789
01:18:01,100 --> 01:18:04,613
So let me get
this straight, partner.
1790
01:18:04,613 --> 01:18:07,550
You're a virgin?
1791
01:18:07,550 --> 01:18:09,252
Uh, yes. Yeah.
1792
01:18:09,252 --> 01:18:11,888
[Laughing] A virgin!
1793
01:18:11,888 --> 01:18:14,958
Whoo! Well, we're
pretty fucking classy
1794
01:18:14,958 --> 01:18:17,426
Here at porndarosa. Cum,
1795
01:18:17,426 --> 01:18:19,162
So what
we did is went out
1796
01:18:19,162 --> 01:18:20,663
And got
you an extra special
1797
01:18:20,663 --> 01:18:22,365
Little hussy to bang.
1798
01:18:22,365 --> 01:18:25,634
Are you ready to meet
your lucky starlet, stud?
1799
01:18:25,634 --> 01:18:27,303
Let's just
get this over with, man.
1800
01:18:27,303 --> 01:18:28,471
Right.
1801
01:18:28,471 --> 01:18:32,108
Well, you know
her from the magazines.
1802
01:18:32,108 --> 01:18:36,880
Let's all please welcome
miss Emily Addison!
1803
01:18:38,181 --> 01:18:39,248
Holy shit.
1804
01:18:43,920 --> 01:18:47,423
Hey, Ross.
I'm a big fan of yours.
1805
01:18:52,728 --> 01:18:54,397
Ohh!
1806
01:18:56,465 --> 01:18:58,567
Saddle up, cowboy!
1807
01:18:58,567 --> 01:19:03,306
Time for some fuckin'!
Yee-haw!
1808
01:19:07,210 --> 01:19:08,812
Whoa.
1809
01:19:10,413 --> 01:19:11,948
Uh...
1810
01:19:14,617 --> 01:19:16,352
Whoa.
1811
01:19:17,353 --> 01:19:19,880
Uh...
1812
01:19:33,302 --> 01:19:34,838
[Whimpers]
1813
01:19:53,560 --> 01:19:55,124
Wait, wait, wait.
Aah!
1814
01:19:58,261 --> 01:19:59,829
Wait.
1815
01:20:04,667 --> 01:20:05,801
What?
1816
01:20:05,801 --> 01:20:07,803
You don't like me?
1817
01:20:07,803 --> 01:20:09,505
Yes. Yes, I do.
1818
01:20:09,505 --> 01:20:11,174
I just...
Holy shit, I do.
1819
01:20:11,174 --> 01:20:13,642
I just...
I-i-i don't know.
1820
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,178
Get to it, kid!
1821
01:20:15,178 --> 01:20:16,812
You're gettin'
paid to fuck!
1822
01:20:16,812 --> 01:20:18,681
Shut up!
1823
01:20:18,681 --> 01:20:19,883
Fuck this!
1824
01:20:19,883 --> 01:20:21,284
My God, this is insane.
I can't.
1825
01:20:21,284 --> 01:20:23,887
I can't do this. I can't.
1826
01:20:23,887 --> 01:20:26,355
I... i... I can't
believe these words
1827
01:20:26,355 --> 01:20:28,357
Are actually coming
out of my mouth,
1828
01:20:28,357 --> 01:20:30,426
Considering I've probably
masturbated to you
1829
01:20:30,426 --> 01:20:32,295
Over 1,000 times.
1830
01:20:33,897 --> 01:20:35,331
I know everything about you.
1831
01:20:35,331 --> 01:20:37,700
Oh, my God.
You're awesome.
1832
01:20:37,700 --> 01:20:39,302
I, uh...
1833
01:20:39,302 --> 01:20:41,370
I even have
this little shrine
1834
01:20:41,370 --> 01:20:44,730
I made dedicated to you.
1835
01:20:44,730 --> 01:20:45,841
It took
some pretty huge...
1836
01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:48,677
Stuff. Shut up!
1837
01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:51,470
You know what?
The truth is
1838
01:20:51,470 --> 01:20:53,249
Me and my friends are
only making these tapes
1839
01:20:53,249 --> 01:20:54,417
Because we were threatened
1840
01:20:54,417 --> 01:20:56,385
By that Hollywood agent
Danny silver,
1841
01:20:56,385 --> 01:20:59,455
Who's a fucking
slimy cocksucker,
1842
01:20:59,455 --> 01:21:01,624
And I hope you're fucking
watching, motherfucker!
1843
01:21:01,624 --> 01:21:04,627
He threatened to beat us up
and have us arrested
1844
01:21:04,627 --> 01:21:08,197
And even kill us if we didn't
come up with 500 grand.
1845
01:21:08,197 --> 01:21:10,733
Well, here's your 500 grand
right here, motherfucker!
1846
01:21:10,733 --> 01:21:11,935
Come and get it,
'cause I quit!
1847
01:21:12,969 --> 01:21:14,603
You can beat me up.
I don't care.
1848
01:21:14,603 --> 01:21:16,105
Whatever, man.
All right?
1849
01:21:16,105 --> 01:21:17,740
Because we are
done working for you.
1850
01:21:17,740 --> 01:21:18,741
We're done!
1851
01:21:18,741 --> 01:21:20,143
You bitch!
1852
01:21:20,143 --> 01:21:22,780
And I'll have you know,
1853
01:21:22,780 --> 01:21:24,613
There's only one girl
I want to lose my virginity to.
1854
01:21:26,882 --> 01:21:28,717
My ex-girlfriend Kim.
1855
01:21:28,717 --> 01:21:31,870
And she wouldn't
be watching this,
1856
01:21:31,870 --> 01:21:33,890
Because she's
not that kind of girl.
1857
01:21:33,890 --> 01:21:34,590
Like all
you little perverts.
1858
01:21:34,590 --> 01:21:36,292
She's pure,
1859
01:21:36,292 --> 01:21:39,950
And I love that about her.
1860
01:21:41,697 --> 01:21:44,330
It's all this bullshit
that caused us to break up!
1861
01:21:44,330 --> 01:21:46,350
Fucking shit!
1862
01:21:46,350 --> 01:21:47,436
Hey, kwan.
1863
01:21:50,239 --> 01:21:52,241
Come here.
I'm not done with you.
1864
01:21:52,241 --> 01:21:53,642
Look, I know
you're watching, ed.
1865
01:21:53,642 --> 01:21:55,144
All right?
1866
01:21:55,144 --> 01:21:57,580
I just want to let you know
you're not a frat guy.
1867
01:21:57,580 --> 01:21:59,915
Come on, you're
a ninth level paladin
1868
01:21:59,915 --> 01:22:02,351
That's led the clan
on countless adventures.
1869
01:22:02,351 --> 01:22:03,552
Come on, dude.
1870
01:22:03,552 --> 01:22:06,550
If I had a fucking dollar
for every time you talked
1871
01:22:06,550 --> 01:22:08,591
About how much Delaney
was a cocksucker,
1872
01:22:08,591 --> 01:22:11,660
Man, I'd have, like,
between 84 and 130 dollars.
1873
01:22:11,660 --> 01:22:13,596
Hey, brah. I might've
said one or two things.
1874
01:22:13,596 --> 01:22:16,332
Seriously. Delaney
doesn't even like you, man.
1875
01:22:16,332 --> 01:22:18,334
He just hangs out with you
because you do his homework.
1876
01:22:18,334 --> 01:22:19,568
You know what, fuck this!
1877
01:22:19,568 --> 01:22:21,670
I hope you're watching, too,
Delaney.
1878
01:22:21,670 --> 01:22:23,672
Because I'm gonna tell
the Dean on your punk ass!
1879
01:22:23,672 --> 01:22:25,641
Get him off the fuckin' set!
1880
01:22:25,641 --> 01:22:27,943
He's blocking the action!
1881
01:22:27,943 --> 01:22:30,346
Time to take
out the garbage.
1882
01:22:30,346 --> 01:22:31,680
Recycle.
1883
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:32,815
You can sit.
1884
01:22:32,815 --> 01:22:34,830
Ed!
1885
01:22:34,830 --> 01:22:35,218
[Speaking
fantasy language]
1886
01:22:35,218 --> 01:22:38,210
[Speaking fantasy language]
1887
01:22:40,890 --> 01:22:42,925
Unhand him, you ghouls,
at once!
1888
01:22:42,925 --> 01:22:45,561
Aah!
1889
01:22:45,561 --> 01:22:48,310
You guys are
killing my boner.
1890
01:22:48,964 --> 01:22:51,100
Marcus, wake up.
1891
01:22:52,435 --> 01:22:55,380
Yo, what the fuck happened?
1892
01:22:55,380 --> 01:22:57,240
Got knocked out
again, buddy.
1893
01:22:57,240 --> 01:22:59,675
You... you're black.
1894
01:22:59,675 --> 01:23:02,211
No shit, bitch.
1895
01:23:02,211 --> 01:23:04,847
Damn, who
the fuck served me?
1896
01:23:04,847 --> 01:23:06,849
Dude, all those blows
to your head
1897
01:23:06,849 --> 01:23:08,317
Somehow cured
your asperger's.
1898
01:23:08,317 --> 01:23:10,719
Boy, you really are a pussy.
1899
01:23:10,719 --> 01:23:13,556
You can't even get it up
for a million dollars.
1900
01:23:13,556 --> 01:23:14,957
You mean 100,000.
1901
01:23:14,957 --> 01:23:18,594
Doug made the deal
for a million.
1902
01:23:18,594 --> 01:23:19,728
He did?
1903
01:23:20,729 --> 01:23:22,131
You motherfucker!
1904
01:23:22,131 --> 01:23:23,266
You were gonna keep
900,000 for yourself?
1905
01:23:23,266 --> 01:23:25,468
Not really. I was just...
1906
01:23:26,702 --> 01:23:27,936
Come here!
1907
01:23:27,936 --> 01:23:29,138
I gonna get you!
1908
01:23:29,138 --> 01:23:31,340
That's some shit.
1909
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:33,976
Now these motherfuckers up
in here better get ready
1910
01:23:33,976 --> 01:23:35,411
For an unholy beat-down
1911
01:23:35,411 --> 01:23:38,447
The likes of which
ain't nobody ever seen.
1912
01:23:38,447 --> 01:23:39,448
Gotcha
1913
01:23:39,448 --> 01:23:40,749
[Groans]
1914
01:23:40,749 --> 01:23:41,850
What you gonna do,
bitch?
1915
01:23:41,850 --> 01:23:43,419
[Groans]
1916
01:23:43,419 --> 01:23:46,890
The motherfucking buck
stops here.
1917
01:23:46,890 --> 01:23:47,490
[Smash]
1918
01:23:50,250 --> 01:23:51,494
God.
1919
01:23:51,494 --> 01:23:52,728
Whoa.
1920
01:23:54,963 --> 01:23:56,299
Hey, Danny.
1921
01:23:57,766 --> 01:23:59,100
You got a minute?
1922
01:23:59,100 --> 01:24:01,137
Can it wait?
1923
01:24:01,137 --> 01:24:02,405
Mmm...
1924
01:24:02,405 --> 01:24:03,839
I'm trying to do
some business over here.
1925
01:24:03,839 --> 01:24:05,841
Well, it's, um...
1926
01:24:05,841 --> 01:24:08,644
It's kind of important.
1927
01:24:09,912 --> 01:24:12,448
All right.
Make it quick.
1928
01:24:12,448 --> 01:24:16,419
Well, you're my manager,
and as an actor,
1929
01:24:16,419 --> 01:24:18,321
Us actors feel like
it's good to scratch
1930
01:24:18,321 --> 01:24:20,789
Our management's back
every once in while.
1931
01:24:20,789 --> 01:24:22,570
You know what I mean?
1932
01:24:22,570 --> 01:24:23,992
Uh-huh.
1933
01:24:23,992 --> 01:24:25,694
And as your best client,
1934
01:24:25,694 --> 01:24:31,660
I feel like
I kind of owe it to you.
1935
01:24:33,602 --> 01:24:36,380
And you know
how I roll, baby.
1936
01:24:36,380 --> 01:24:37,906
I'm kind of kinky.
1937
01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:40,276
Mellony, mellony.
Mmm.
1938
01:24:40,276 --> 01:24:42,478
What did I do
to deserve this?
1939
01:24:42,478 --> 01:24:43,279
Turn around.
1940
01:24:43,279 --> 01:24:44,580
[Both laughing]
1941
01:24:44,580 --> 01:24:46,782
Turn around.
Whoa! [Laughing]
1942
01:24:51,287 --> 01:24:53,556
[Moaning]
1943
01:24:53,556 --> 01:24:55,224
Stop it.
Look at this!
1944
01:24:55,224 --> 01:24:56,759
You see that?
1945
01:24:56,759 --> 01:24:58,227
That's called
a contract, baby.
1946
01:24:58,227 --> 01:24:59,662
[Muffled shouting]
1947
01:24:59,662 --> 01:25:00,696
A contract...
1948
01:25:00,696 --> 01:25:02,970
One of those
little bitty things
1949
01:25:02,970 --> 01:25:04,320
That you could never
get me, seven years.
1950
01:25:04,320 --> 01:25:05,301
In seven years,
1951
01:25:05,301 --> 01:25:06,902
You couldn't get me
one of those things.
1952
01:25:06,902 --> 01:25:09,472
And I just wanted you to
look at all those zeroes
1953
01:25:09,472 --> 01:25:11,240
That are going
to be all mine.
1954
01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:12,241
[Muffled] That's mine!
1955
01:25:12,241 --> 01:25:13,542
And none of yours!
1956
01:25:13,542 --> 01:25:14,643
Stop it!
1957
01:25:14,643 --> 01:25:16,212
[Groans]
Uh-huh.
1958
01:25:16,212 --> 01:25:17,980
Oh, and
guess what, Danny?
1959
01:25:17,980 --> 01:25:20,115
You're fired. Uh-huh.
1960
01:25:20,115 --> 01:25:22,500
You're fired,
and I never want to
1961
01:25:22,500 --> 01:25:24,187
Ever, ever,
ever see you ever again.
1962
01:25:24,187 --> 01:25:25,788
[Shouts]
Shut up!
1963
01:25:25,788 --> 01:25:27,623
Listen to me.
1964
01:25:27,623 --> 01:25:29,358
I should leave you
with a little something,
1965
01:25:29,358 --> 01:25:30,659
Though, shouldn't I?
1966
01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:32,361
I'm gonna give you
something before I leave
1967
01:25:32,361 --> 01:25:33,996
Just so you
remember me by, okay?
1968
01:25:33,996 --> 01:25:36,980
[Moans]
1969
01:25:36,980 --> 01:25:37,633
So you just stay there,
1970
01:25:37,633 --> 01:25:39,468
And I'm gonna give you
something to remember me.
1971
01:25:39,468 --> 01:25:41,737
It'll be real good, okay?
1972
01:25:41,737 --> 01:25:43,239
Stay down.
1973
01:25:43,239 --> 01:25:44,473
Fuck you!
1974
01:25:44,473 --> 01:25:46,742
You feel that! Uh-huh!
1975
01:25:46,742 --> 01:25:49,110
Yeah, it feels good,
right, baby?
1976
01:25:49,110 --> 01:25:51,214
Yeah!
1977
01:25:55,884 --> 01:25:57,686
Sorry I'm late for raid.
1978
01:25:57,686 --> 01:25:59,688
Who said
you were welcome?
1979
01:25:59,688 --> 01:26:01,357
Yo. What up, sexy?
1980
01:26:01,357 --> 01:26:02,558
Don't call me that anymore.
1981
01:26:02,558 --> 01:26:04,920
The guys kicked me
out of the frat
1982
01:26:04,920 --> 01:26:06,495
As soon as our videos
got taken down.
1983
01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:07,896
So what?
1984
01:26:07,896 --> 01:26:10,433
I figured I would bring you
this from the p.O. Box.
1985
01:26:12,835 --> 01:26:14,370
Ahem.
1986
01:26:14,370 --> 01:26:16,171
"Ed is the grossest guy
I've ever slept with,
1987
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,573
"Rock bottom...
1988
01:26:17,573 --> 01:26:19,575
What was I thinking
fucking that guy?"
1989
01:26:19,575 --> 01:26:20,843
Yeah, I already
know all this stuff.
1990
01:26:20,843 --> 01:26:21,844
Skip to the end.
1991
01:26:24,112 --> 01:26:26,582
"This letter is to inform you
that Danny silver
1992
01:26:26,582 --> 01:26:27,983
"And all parties
have been arrested
1993
01:26:27,983 --> 01:26:29,985
"On extortion charges,
among other things.
1994
01:26:29,985 --> 01:26:32,921
"And to inform you that
the estate of mellony Adams
1995
01:26:32,921 --> 01:26:34,457
"Is dropping all charges.
1996
01:26:34,457 --> 01:26:37,493
All money you made
is yours to keep"?
1997
01:26:37,493 --> 01:26:38,527
Yep.
1998
01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:40,195
Holy shit. We get
to keep all that money?
1999
01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:42,831
Oh, shit.
2000
01:26:42,831 --> 01:26:44,333
I'm sorry I betrayed
the clan, brother.
2001
01:26:44,333 --> 01:26:47,270
I promise I will never be
in the wrong again.
2002
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,408
[Speaking fantasy language]
2003
01:26:56,679 --> 01:26:57,680
Hey.
2004
01:27:00,483 --> 01:27:03,185
Um, I saw
your pay-per-view.
2005
01:27:03,185 --> 01:27:05,654
Look, I'm sorry.
2006
01:27:05,654 --> 01:27:07,890
Just kiss me.
2007
01:27:09,758 --> 01:27:13,496
Um, I think it's about time
I gave you a real kiss.
2008
01:27:15,230 --> 01:27:16,665
[Laughs]
2009
01:27:16,665 --> 01:27:20,350
[Both panting]
2010
01:27:20,350 --> 01:27:21,236
Oh, yeah.
2011
01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:22,738
I'm sorry I made you
wait for so long.
2012
01:27:22,738 --> 01:27:24,573
Oh, I'm sorry for
pressuring you so much.
124952
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