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CHRIS ROCK:
When I was 14,
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00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,676
it seemed like
all I did was work.
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00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,579
I worked at school.
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00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,481
* We're not scared
to lose at all *
5
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,283
* Security throw
through the wall *
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00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,351
"Four score and seven years ago,
our forefathers
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00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,520
"brought forth from this
continent a new nation,
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00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,090
"conceived in liberty and
dedicated to the proposition
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00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,624
that all men are created equal."
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00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,659
I worked at home.
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00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:29,397
* Unless we're clinging
to the things we prize *
12
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:33,601
* And do you feel scared?
I do *
13
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,471
Sometimes I even
went sleep-working.
14
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:43,277
* And if we threw it all away
15
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:46,547
* Things can only get better
16
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:52,820
But the one thing I always did
for fun was go to the movies.
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00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:55,256
Man, did you see Purple Rain?
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00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:56,757
Yes!
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00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,592
"Why don't you stay awhile,
see how it's done?"
20
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,762
Man, did you see Rambo?
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00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,597
Yeah.
22
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,533
"Do we get to win
this time, sir?"
23
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,702
Man, did you see
Beverly Hills Cop?
24
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:14,342
"Here, why don't you go
ahead and take this banana?"
25
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,578
The one big movie I missed
was Ghostbusters.
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00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,380
"I got slimed."
27
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,881
"Man, that chick is toast."
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00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,883
Are they still talking
about Ghostbusters?
29
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,553
Yeah. It's only the biggest
movie out this year.
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00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,288
I can't believe
you haven't seen it.
31
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,522
Have you seen it?
No.
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00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,158
Well, then what are
you talking about?
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00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,159
I thought you
saw everything.
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00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,460
I kept missing it.
35
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,162
Now the only place
it's still playing
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00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,229
is the dollar theater.
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00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,797
But popcorn still
cost eight bucks.
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00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,632
And this is the last week.
39
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,168
Maybe we can
catch it on Saturday.
40
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,369
It leaves Thursday.
Forget it.
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00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:42,836
We'll just have
to see it
42
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,672
when it comes out on
video in four years.
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00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:45,873
Back then, that was quick.
44
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,841
I'm not waiting four years.
45
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,778
Class...
46
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:51,612
I just want to let you know
that I won't be here tomorrow
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00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,547
because I have
a funeral to attend.
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00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,249
Who died?
49
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,818
My sister.
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00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,353
Oh, I'm sorry.
51
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,621
Thank you, Chris.
52
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,923
It's hard because I don't have
53
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,759
19 or 20 other siblings
like you.
54
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,397
What'd she die of?
55
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,532
She died of a bad case
of grammar.
56
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:16,170
Watch those prepositions.
57
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,905
Greg, you know what?
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00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,274
I think we can go
see this movie.
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00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:22,343
Well, how are we
going to do that?
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00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,711
Cut school.
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00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,214
I ain't afraid of no ghosts.
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00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,290
* Aw, make it funky now!
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Captioning sponsored by CBS
PARAMOUNT NETWORK TELEVISION
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Captioning sponsored by CBS
PARAMOUNT NETWORK TELEVISION
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CHRIS ROCK:
In my neighborhood,
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00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,384
most kids' parents
didn't get involved at school,
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00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,853
so whenever my mother
had the time, she would.
68
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,888
I'm coming up
to your school tomorrow
69
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,557
to help out with the book fair.
70
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,459
Are you going to help
at my bookmark table?
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00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,526
I'll try, baby.
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00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,595
When are you coming?
73
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,597
Around 9:00. Why?
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00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,932
Oh... nothing.
75
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:21,869
No "nothing." What's wrong?
76
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,971
Well, I just don't want you
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00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,673
calling me "sweetie"
and stuff like that.
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00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:26,874
Last time you came,
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00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,776
people made fun
of me for a week.
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00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,711
Why don't you just
call him Joe Rockhead?
81
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,513
That's what all
my friends call him.
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00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,948
That's 'cause your friends
smell like hot toilet bowls.
83
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,718
You smell like underarm
and booty crack.
Hey, stop it.
84
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,019
We're eating.
85
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,388
Well, don't worry, Drew.
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00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,323
I won't do anything
to embarrass you.
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00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,624
Thank you, Mom.
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00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,326
Because I was planning
to cut school,
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00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,494
I was acting guiltier
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00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,462
than Michael Richards
at an NAACP meeting.
91
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,331
Chris, when can I come
up to your school?
92
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,499
Not tomorrow.
93
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,301
Um, not tomorrow.
94
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,436
Nothing's going on,
anyway.
I wasn't asking
about tomorrow.
95
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:56,404
Just in general.
96
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,638
I know, I'm just saying
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00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,972
that nothing's
going on tomorrow.
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00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,708
What, are you embarrassed
about me, too?
99
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,444
No, I'm not embarrassed.
Then what's
your problem?
100
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,646
I don't have a problem.
Then why can't I
come up to your school?
101
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,915
You can come up to the school,
just not tomorrow.
102
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,517
Well, what's the big deal
about tomorrow?
103
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:10,551
Nothing-- that's what I've
been trying to tell you.
104
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,052
That's not what I asked you.
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00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,054
I know, I'm just saying that
tomorrow nothing's going on.
106
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,323
Then why are you making
a federal case out of it?
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00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,790
I'm not.
You are.
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00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,659
Mom, when you can come up to
the school, I'll let you know.
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00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,760
Okay.
Okay.
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00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:20,961
That went well.
111
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,030
Okay, um...
112
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,399
Daddy, can you come up
to our school, too?
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00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,035
No, baby, I have to renew
my driver's license tomorrow.
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00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,970
Baby, I thought you
did that already.
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00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,506
Mm-mm.
A new license costs 17.50.
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00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:35,343
And I'm not giving them people
my money until I have to.
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00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,878
My father waited until
the last possible moment
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00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,581
to pay for everything--
and I mean everything.
119
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,485
Your meter's only
got a minute left.
120
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,554
When that quarter runs out,
I'll put in this one.
121
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:52,092
Baby, you're almost out of gas.
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00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,896
When that gas runs out,
I'll put in some new gas.
123
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:58,932
(straining loudly)
Push.
124
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,535
(straining)
Push.
125
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,804
Julius, would you just
pay the man, please?!
126
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,673
Push.
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00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,908
When the baby's all the way out,
I'll give him all the money.
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00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:11,612
(screaming)
129
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,515
(baby crying)
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00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,983
Well, you better
get up there early
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00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,050
'cause you know
how those lines are.
132
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,487
Yeah, I'm going to be there
when the door opens.
133
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,655
I'm going to take my picture,
pay my 17.50
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00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:22,990
and be back home by 9:00.
135
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:26,026
While my father
was trying to cut costs,
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00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,396
I was trying to cut class.
137
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,030
Man, this is going
to be so cool.
138
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,500
Wait, you never
cut school before?
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00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,602
I've had perfect attendance
since kindergarten.
140
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,970
Well, listen, if you don't
want to do this, I understand.
141
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,672
I wouldn't want
to mess up your record.
142
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,508
Nah, it's cool.
143
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,943
Who knew that in the future
this one unexplained absence
144
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,745
would keep Greg
from getting into Harvard?
145
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:47,080
If we get caught, I can just
say it was your fault.
146
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,717
Same thing happened
to Colin Powell.
147
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,753
The only thing I'm worried about
is, what if people miss us?
148
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,054
Like who?
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00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,756
They only person
that'll miss you is me.
150
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,090
The only person that'll
miss me is you.
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00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,926
Things aren't
much different now.
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00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,162
What about when
they take attendance?
153
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,465
Oh, I got Pedro to cover for us.
154
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,568
Chris.
Aqui.
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00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,003
Meanwhile, my father
was there bright and early
156
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,805
to beat the line at the DMV.
157
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,177
Too late.
158
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,112
Hey, where do you
think you're going?
159
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,148
I'm going to renew my license.
160
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,149
Well, get in line.
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00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:25,553
This is the line to renew
your driver's license?
162
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,555
No, this is the line
for tickets
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00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,656
to see Scritti Politti.
164
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,758
Yeah, this is the line.
165
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,026
Man, all these people.
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00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,162
I thought I was gonna be
out of here in an hour.
167
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,531
Ha! Try three.
168
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,667
Make that three and a half.
169
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,177
While my father
was getting in line,
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00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,613
my mother was about
to get out of line.
171
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:55,583
Well, Rochelle,
all I need you to do
is to help the children
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00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,686
pick out a book, and
then send them to the
front to pay for it.
173
00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,987
That's it?
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00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,790
That's it. I have everything
else under control.
175
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,492
No, you don't.
176
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,961
I could've stayed
at home for this.
177
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,062
Back at school
it was lunchtime.
178
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,699
Today's special
was "Running Like Hell."
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00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,567
You ready?
Ready.
180
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,203
All right, now just be cool
and keep walking.
181
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,086
My biggest worry at this point
182
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,856
was that the cops would think
I was chasing Greg.
183
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,028
CHRIS ROCK:
While we were cutting class,
184
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:44,097
Greg was sweating like
Lil Kim in Sunday School.
185
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,566
You think they
know we're gone?
186
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,067
The only one that would even
notice is Caruso.
187
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,202
He can just beat
somebody else up.
188
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,038
What's that?
189
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,873
I was up all night
190
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,274
packing for everything
we might need.
191
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,876
I've got peanut butter
sandwiches
192
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,277
in case we get hungry,
193
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,212
I've got some wet naps
in case we get sticky
194
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,147
from the peanut
butter sandwiches,
195
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,516
I brought a compass
in case we get lost,
196
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:06,086
some extra water,
Rolaids, aspirin,
197
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,821
a traveling
toothbrush...
198
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:10,157
Greg, we're going to the movies,
not Gilligan's Island.
199
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,693
If we did, Greg would
have got with Mrs. Howell.
200
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,094
Hold on.
201
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:17,130
For my "cutting school"
scrapbook.
202
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,266
Smile.
203
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:23,537
Greg saw that picture
on eBay last week for $500.
204
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,875
Only problem with my mother
helping at a book fair
205
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,544
was she didn't read books
.and she wasn't fair.
206
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:32,846
Girl, does your mother
know you're over here
207
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,047
reading grown-up books?
208
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,784
Give me that.
209
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,552
Flowers in the Attic.
210
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:42,289
Now that sounds nice.
Read that.
211
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,992
You done lost your
Jackie Collins mind.
212
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,161
And don't cut your
eyes at me, either.
213
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,799
Boy, don't you know you are
too big for a coloring book?
214
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:52,900
White kids your age
215
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,102
are building sculptures by now
and you're over here
216
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,604
trying to stay inside the lines.
217
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,238
Come on, Picasso.
218
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,607
Get to chippin'.
219
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,041
Come on. Chip on.
220
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,710
Chip, chip, chip.
Chip, chip, chip.
221
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:05,012
You shouldn't be embarrassed
that your boy only has
222
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,580
a fifth grade
reading level.
223
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:09,182
You should be
embarrassed that he's 27.
224
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,084
He should be reading
War and Peace,
225
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,686
not Horton Hears a Who.
226
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,955
Here. Here you go.
227
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,727
Hey, baby,
how's it going?
228
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,094
(girls giggling)
Mom...
229
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,596
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
230
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:23,597
I didn't mean
to call you "baby."
Mom!
231
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,199
Honey, I...
Mom, just be quiet.
232
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,669
What are y'all laughing at,
with your hoop earrings on?
233
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,070
Let's see if your
mother's giggling
234
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,872
when you're bringing
home babies.
235
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,241
(giggles mockingly):
Who's laughing now, huh?
236
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,309
It ain't funny no more, is it?
237
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,712
Come on over here, girl.
Buy some lemonade.
238
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,047
It's good.
My baby made it.
239
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,615
The line was getting shorter,
240
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,884
and so was
my father's patience.
241
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,690
What?!
242
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,163
You'd think they were married.
243
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,831
May I help you?
244
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,399
You got people out here.
You can't just go to lunch.
245
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,801
People have
stuff to do.
246
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,202
Then why don't you
come back another day?
247
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,638
Because my license
expires today.
248
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,807
Well, then I guess you're
just gonna have to wait.
249
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,976
And don't bang
on this door again.
250
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,279
She's lucky he didn't
bang on her head.
251
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,850
The weirdest thing about being
out of school on a school day
252
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,086
was plain and simple:
no kids.
253
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,789
This feels strange,
like everyone's staring at us.
254
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,725
Almost like being a black kid
at an all-white school?
255
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,293
Enjoy the show.
256
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,698
Um, two tickets
for Ghostbusters, please?
257
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,399
Two dollars.
258
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,441
Why aren't you kids in school?
259
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,678
(chuckles):
Uh... see, it's, uh...
260
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,147
Uh...
261
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,117
It's a black, uh... holiday.
262
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:50,984
Yeah.
263
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,853
Yeah? Which one?
264
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,855
Yeah, Chris,
265
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,924
which one?
266
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,258
Uh...
267
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,094
The Autobiography...
268
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:04,264
of Miss Jane Pittman Day.
269
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,766
Hm.
270
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,100
Great woman.
271
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,969
She was a credit to your race.
272
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,371
And Howdy Doody's
a credit to yours.
273
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,974
What are you doing here?
274
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,443
I'm an octoroon.
275
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,411
In that case,
only one-eighth of him
276
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,980
should be off from school.
277
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,150
Okay. Enjoy the show.
278
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,218
Happy holidays.
279
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:30,924
If I made it past this guy,
I would finally get to see
280
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,325
Ernie Hudson's best work.
281
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,329
Meanwhile, at the DMV,
282
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,131
my father was playing
the waiting game,
283
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:40,167
and he was losing.
284
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,736
MAN (over speaker):
126, window "A."
285
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,406
37, "D."
286
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,078
37, "D."
287
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,285
42, window "F."
288
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,060
Number 25?
289
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:10,063
Anyone in line
to take the driver's test,
290
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,799
the line forms outside...
291
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,466
Can I help you?
292
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,268
Yes, you can help me.
293
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,504
I'm here to renew my license.
294
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,875
WOMAN:
Number 127, window "F."
295
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:25,178
127, window "F."
296
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,214
This license is expired.
297
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,415
No, it's not.
298
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,950
It expires today.
299
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:32,085
It expired today at 10:00 a.m.
300
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,921
It is almost 2:00.
301
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:37,858
Yeah, but I been standing
in line since 7:45 a.m.
302
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,327
Are you one of those people
that likes to wait
303
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,029
until the last minute to pay?
304
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,497
No, I'm one of those people
who likes to wait
305
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,067
until the last four hours
and 15 minutes to pay!
306
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,536
Would you like a dime so you
can call someone who cares?
307
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,139
I can't believe
he didn't take the dime.
308
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:55,775
Please, can't I just give you
my money and go?
309
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,945
Yeah.
310
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,112
Thanks.
311
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,915
Right after you take
your written test.
312
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,484
Wha...? I've been driving
for over 20 years.
313
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,319
I know the rules of the road.
314
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,587
My father knew the rules
315
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,190
of the road,
but they were his rules.
316
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:13,360
In a construction zone,
you speed up.
317
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,262
When pedestrians are entering
the crosswalk...
318
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,196
(screams)
(horn honks)
319
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,530
...speed up.
320
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:21,534
At a railroad crossing,
you really speed up.
321
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:25,205
In the meantime, my mother
decided to give Tonya
322
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:28,608
a lesson in making
the hard sell.
323
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,411
Hey. What's wrong, baby?
324
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,246
Nobody's buying
my bookmarks.
325
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,849
So what, you're just gonna
sit here and mope?
326
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:37,985
I don't know
what else to do.
327
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,020
Well, these bookmarks
ain't gonna sell themselves.
328
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,554
Especially because you can use
329
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:44,925
any piece of paper for free.
If people ain't coming
to the bookmarks,
330
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,260
you take the bookmarks
to the people-- take that side.
331
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,996
Lift it higher, girl.
332
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,936
That was a bigger fire hazard
333
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,906
than pyrotechnics
at a Great White concert.
334
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,074
Hey, girl, you got a bookmark?
335
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,609
No, thank you, I don't need one.
336
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,244
Oh, okay, Miss Evelyn Wood.
337
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,913
I guess you're just
gonna speed-read
338
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:06,980
through the whole book.
339
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,181
And who are you?
340
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,317
Oh, who are you?
With your magic book
341
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,020
that just stays open
to whatever page
you leave it on.
342
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,654
Excuse me, I got to go.
343
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,556
Girl, you need to go
with your cheap behind.
344
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,259
You can't spend 25 cents
on a bookmark?
345
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:22,129
Did you spend
all your money on cookies?
346
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,263
No! I did not spend
347
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,499
my money on cookies, if
it's any business of yours.
348
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,935
I bought a book.
349
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,670
Oh, really?
What's it about,
crushing dreams?
350
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,973
'Cause that's exactly
what you're doing.
351
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,642
Fine! I'll take one.
352
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,277
Thank you. Here you go.
353
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,212
Bye.
354
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,281
Lay off the cookies.
355
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,083
(panicked screaming, clamoring)
356
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,118
(growling)
357
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,920
(laughter)
358
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,356
I wonder what they're
doing at school.
359
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,291
Feeling like suckers.
360
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,360
On behalf of the Corleone
Junior High students
361
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,428
I'd like to welcome
a very special guest--
362
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,430
(music starts)
Earth, Wind & Fire!
363
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,199
(students cheering)
364
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,468
Yeah, suckers!
365
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,470
WOMAN:
Shh!
Yeah.
366
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,172
Excuse me, can you be quiet?
367
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,940
Ms. Morello?
368
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,508
I thought you were at a funeral.
369
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,611
No, stupid-- she's at yours.
370
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,017
Chris, I'm sorry
for shushing you.
371
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,386
I know your people can't help
talking in the movies.
372
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,321
Why aren't you in school?
373
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,556
I wonder if she'd believe
.it was Chicken George Day.
374
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,158
Well, we just
finished lunch,
375
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,526
and we figured we'd get
376
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:27,527
a little popcorn,
and, well, now
377
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,062
we're on our way
back to school.
378
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:32,032
Chris, please,
don't insult my intelligence.
379
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,135
It's obvious you and Gregory
are playing hooky.
380
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,038
I don't mean to be
disrespectful, but
what are you doing here?
381
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,007
Well, Greg...
Hey, baby.
382
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,208
I got the popcorn.
383
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,542
You want Junior Mints
or Goobers?
384
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,611
I got both.
You're on a date?
385
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,180
Chris, we all grieve
in our own way.
386
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,481
Grieve? Who's grieving?
387
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,583
Did you go to the funeral, too?
What funeral?
388
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,452
So you lied
about your sister dying?
389
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,387
Yes.
Your sister died?
390
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,755
No.
How could you do that?
391
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,457
That's neither here nor there.
392
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,426
The fact is,
you shouldn't be here.
393
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,461
Well, I'm sorry-- I just wanted
to see this movie.
394
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,663
I didn't think missing one day
of school would hurt.
395
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:07,267
Chris, I know you must be
a big Ernie Hudson fan--
396
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,701
Thalmus is, too--
397
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,337
but do you think
Ernie Hudson
398
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,005
cut school to go see
399
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,440
Gary Coleman movies
while he was growing up?
400
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,375
Gary Coleman made a movie?
401
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,544
And, Greg, you should be ashamed
of yourself.
402
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,680
You can see a white man
in a movie anytime.
403
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,283
Sorry.
Come on, Greg, let's go.
404
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,517
Chris, wait.
405
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,020
Stay.
Are you serious?
406
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,256
Yes. But don't you ever
let me find out
407
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,658
you've done anything
like this again, you understand?
408
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:32,659
Yes, ma'am.
409
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,662
Could you not mention
that you saw me here?
410
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,397
Yes, ma'am.
411
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:38,431
Nice meeting you.
412
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,500
(laughs):
Enjoy the movie.
413
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,302
Yeah.
414
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,574
Back at the DMV,
my father was DOA.
415
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,609
I'm sorry, sir, you fail.
416
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,211
What do you mean, fail?
417
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,579
Let me see that!
418
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:53,813
What's wrong with this one?
419
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:57,350
Speed limit in a school
zone is 25, not 50.
420
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,785
Not if he's late.
421
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,687
Fine. I'll do it again.
422
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,623
What do you think you're doing?
423
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:04,724
I'm going to take the test.
424
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,360
You got to get in line,
get a number,
425
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,828
wait for that number
to be called,
426
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,364
proceed to my counter,
where I will give you a new exam
427
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,533
and then you can go
to the testing area.
428
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:14,834
I have to do this again?!
429
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,336
If you want a license.
430
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,772
WOMAN (over speaker):
Number 157, Window "B."
431
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:23,176
Good thing
she can't read minds.
432
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,811
42!
433
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,283
"It...
434
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,519
"was... the...
435
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,154
"beast of...
436
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,755
"times.
437
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,324
"It...
438
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,826
"was... the...
439
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,194
"roast...
440
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:42,629
of times."
441
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,631
I mean, my God, boy,
did you eat
442
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,433
a bowl of lead paint
for breakfast?
443
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,735
Go on and sit down
and let one of these
444
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:50,370
other illiterates
take a crack at it.
445
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,306
Excuse me, can I speak
to you for a minute?
446
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,242
Oh, I'm sorry,
is there a problem?
447
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,210
Yes. You.
448
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,613
MAN (over speaker):
26, window "A."
449
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:03,350
Drive safely.
450
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,354
Thank you.
451
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,855
Here you go.
452
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,690
Oh, you don't pay me.
453
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,392
That's the line to go pay.
454
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,877
59!
455
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,553
Hey, baby.
Where you been all day?
456
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,289
(sighs):
Getting my license.
457
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:43,656
It was horrible.
458
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,592
Remind me to renew early
next time.
459
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,494
How was it at school?
460
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,229
Mom got kicked out.
461
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:50,630
What?
462
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,465
Yeah, they called the cops
and everything.
463
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:55,468
Yeah, we had to beg for them
to let her go.
464
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,304
Why are you arresting me?!
465
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,805
You should be arresting
these teachers!
466
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,673
Please let my mama go!
467
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,675
Kids at a book fair
that can't read!
468
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:05,345
Oh, get her
out of here!
I should call Jesse Jackson!
469
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,679
Jesse!
470
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,815
(indistinct shouting)
471
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,950
What happened?
Those people
don't know how
472
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,885
to run a book fair,
that's what happened.
473
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,356
Chris, how was your day?
474
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,691
The hardest thing about having
such a great day
475
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,892
was pretending
it never happened.
476
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,194
What do you mean?
477
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:23,696
What do you mean,
what do I mean?
It's a simple question.
478
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,964
I know.
479
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,733
Okay.
Okay what?
480
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,868
Did anything interesting
happen in school today?
481
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:29,736
Like what?
482
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:30,903
Like I don't know.
483
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,573
You were there all day--
that's why I'm asking you.
484
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,907
Nothing happened.
485
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:38,945
Why didn't you just say that?
486
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,380
After getting away
with cutting school today,
487
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,982
I was thinking about seeing
Brewster's Millions tomorrow.
488
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,884
Chris, how many times
do I have to tell you
489
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,853
to hang up your jacket
when you come in?
490
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,756
WOMAN (over TV):
I am standing here
with Verdine White
491
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,325
of legendary R&B group
Earth, Wind & Fire,
492
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,828
who did an impromptu concert
today for the lucky kids
493
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,564
at Corleone Junior High.
494
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,366
Verdine, how was it?
495
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,368
WHITE:
It was really great.
"Ghostbusters"?
496
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,770
But the only sad thing, though,
I heard there was
497
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,872
a black kid named Chris
at the school,
498
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,006
but he wasn't here.
499
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:10,277
WOMAN:
Well, that's too bad for Chris.
500
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,445
Reporting live,
I'm Julie Lancaster at Corleone
501
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:13,580
Junior High.
502
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,715
Back to you, Bob, at the studio.
503
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,817
So nothing happened
in school today, huh?
504
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,652
Uh, uh...
505
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,754
Who you gonna call?
506
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,591
* Everybody hates Chris.
507
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:27,260
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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