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1
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:15,125
Okay. This bill mandates that all locker
rooms contain naked, talkative old men.
2
00:00:15,625 --> 00:00:18,125
Oh. This one's
an executive order requiring
3
00:00:18,208 --> 00:00:20,916
dubstep always be played at full volume.
4
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,166
Oh, this renews our lease agreement
with SeaWorld.
5
00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:26,458
You see, Hell's become so overcrowded
6
00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:29,166
we started outsourcing
our extra souls there.
7
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:30,916
Put them into the bodies of marine life.
8
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,625
Enough! Why were you cavorting
with the cherubs yesterday?
9
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:36,875
What? Why, I have no idea that...
10
00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:41,208
Okay! Okay!
11
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,500
The truth is, since you've been away,
12
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:48,458
the boards of Heaven and Hell
have been negotiating a, well, a merger.
13
00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:50,416
A merger with Heaven?
14
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,458
I can see Hell merging
with the Kardashians
15
00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:56,333
or the Dallas Cowboys,
but Heaven is our direct competition.
16
00:00:56,416 --> 00:01:00,375
Heaven's numbers are down,
so Hell is becoming totally overcrowded.
17
00:01:00,458 --> 00:01:02,791
We have a short list of CEO candidates.
18
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:04,250
Father Time, Dracula,
19
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,291
and there's this Kraken
we've had our eye on.
20
00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:10,291
Listen to me. You tell the board
that my name is also going on that list,
21
00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:14,250
or I'll turn your pelvis
into a pasta strainer. Understand?
22
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:18,250
Actually, there is a way
for you to get on the board's good side.
23
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,791
We're having issues at SeaWorld.
24
00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:24,541
Some of the more challenging souls
are creating problems there.
25
00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,458
So, if you were to go there
26
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:28,416
and convince them
to quit destroying the place,
27
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,833
well, that'd give you a leg up
on the competition.
28
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,250
I don't know, Slagnar.
29
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:34,791
Getting people to listen to me
isn't really my strong suit,
30
00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:37,291
but I guess I could... Whoa. Whoa!
31
00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:38,708
Oops. Sorry.
32
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:42,125
The wifey must've slipped that in there
as a little treat for the old man.
33
00:01:52,666 --> 00:01:53,833
Om.
34
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,416
Om.
35
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:59,000
Your online troll nemesis
finally broke your brain, huh?
36
00:01:59,083 --> 00:02:02,166
Nope, I've just decided
to spend less time online.
37
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:03,375
Here in real life,
38
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:06,833
my troll has no access
to the fun happy upstairs fortress.
39
00:02:06,916 --> 00:02:09,666
- That's what I call my brain now.
- This just came for you.
40
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:11,500
Ugh!
41
00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:12,666
"Horky Porker."
42
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,250
"You're dead meat."
43
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,833
"You can leave the internet,
but you can't hide from me."
44
00:02:17,916 --> 00:02:19,958
"boobwizard_420".
45
00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:23,125
I've been doxxed!
46
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:31,291
Oh. That's it. Right there.
47
00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:36,833
What's going on?
48
00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:40,541
Abbie slipped a disc getting a python out
of a soft serve machine,
49
00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:42,833
and no, that's not slang
for intercourse with Marv.
50
00:02:42,916 --> 00:02:45,166
That's way better. Hmm.
51
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,208
- Thanks, Godcat.
- My pleasure.
52
00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:49,458
Let me know
if you need help with your hair,
53
00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:52,916
or the bags under your eyes.
We're all thinking it, Frumple-stiltskin.
54
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:56,458
Abbie! Cats! Guess what?
55
00:02:56,541 --> 00:03:00,000
Last year, Herb commissioned
the world's bulkiest luxury blimp,
56
00:03:00,083 --> 00:03:03,875
and tonight he's christening it
with a soirée in the sky.
57
00:03:03,958 --> 00:03:06,791
And since I'm the new GM,
we get to go, Abbie.
58
00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:10,416
It's Saturday. On Saturdays,
you go to the Game Café all day,
59
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,833
and I curl up
with an edible and watch Hereditary.
60
00:03:12,916 --> 00:03:15,083
Well, normally I'd never ask you,
61
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,958
but all the execs
are bringing their spouses.
62
00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:19,541
I really need you there.
63
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:22,083
Tell you what, if I go to your work thing,
64
00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:24,958
then you have to come
to my Animal Control holiday party.
65
00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:28,458
We lost our Santa guy to a bobcat,
and you're about the same size.
66
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,083
Deal. Thanks, hon.
67
00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:33,500
Hmm. The invite says black tie.
68
00:03:33,583 --> 00:03:36,291
Ah, we better go air out my dress Crocs.
69
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:38,041
What's up with the notes?
70
00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:42,041
Oh. I have to make an appearance
for some Hell-folk here on Earth.
71
00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:43,666
I'm having trouble with my speech.
72
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:47,208
It's kind of motivational,
and that's not really my wheelhouse.
73
00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:49,166
If you want, I can go with you.
74
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,416
I'm great at motivating people
to do stuff.
75
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,250
Uh, it wouldn't really be appropriate
for you to come.
76
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:59,125
Oh, come on, I'm in a helping mood.
Here. What about this as an opener?
77
00:03:59,791 --> 00:04:03,625
"Hey, who here is from out of town?"
Damn, that's actually really good.
78
00:04:03,708 --> 00:04:06,291
All right. Maybe it would be nice
to have you there to help me.
79
00:04:06,375 --> 00:04:09,000
Great. So where are we going?
80
00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:17,708
Human souls trapped inside of dolphins,
trapped inside of glass boxes.
81
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,083
That's horrific, even for Hell.
82
00:04:20,166 --> 00:04:22,250
If you think that's evil,
check out the food court.
83
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,375
The options are clam chowder
or Sbarro Pizza.
84
00:04:25,375 --> 00:04:26,916
Okay, let's see who's who.
85
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,500
So that pod of dolphins
were once Mongolian warlords.
86
00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:32,166
See the sea lions over there?
Manson family.
87
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:35,291
And drumroll, please.
Christopher Columbus!
88
00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:37,666
My bosses asked me to come here
89
00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:39,875
and scare them straight
before they destroy the place.
90
00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,916
Let's just get out of here.
91
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,916
These guys aren't gonna
listen to me anyhow.
92
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,791
No. You came here to do a job.
93
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,750
You've got this. Come on, I'll help you.
94
00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:05,416
- Marv, my boy, you made it.
- Ooh!
95
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,833
This must be the wife. Abbie, right?
96
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:10,625
Oh, uh, Marv, come meet the bigwigs.
97
00:05:10,708 --> 00:05:15,333
This is our CFO, CTO,
oh, and this is Richard, our CHO.
98
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,291
That's Chief Hair Officer.
99
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:21,333
Every exec gets access to him.
He's our private hair coach.
100
00:05:21,416 --> 00:05:24,208
Call me when you're ready
to let that tiger out of the cage, huh?
101
00:05:25,541 --> 00:05:27,416
Marv's a total savant.
102
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:31,666
Once we had an expired shipment
of Sriracha aioli due for inspection.
103
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:34,958
{\an8}Marv took one for the team
and drank every last bottle.
104
00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,625
{\an8}Saved our asses.
105
00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,041
Ha. And demolished mine.
106
00:05:39,125 --> 00:05:42,458
I had six colonoscopies after that.
107
00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:43,916
Ha! Whoo!
108
00:05:44,916 --> 00:05:48,500
Herb, any chance we could land this thing
at the nearest Buffalo Wild Wings
109
00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:49,583
and let me off?
110
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,458
Oh, I get it, Abbie.
111
00:05:51,541 --> 00:05:55,000
You don't wanna sit here
and listen to us windbags, do you?
112
00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:58,625
You'd have more fun
on the Lido Deck with the other wifeys.
113
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,666
Roxanne. Roxy.
114
00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:07,041
Roxy, this is Abbie. I want you
to take extra special care of her.
115
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,708
Sure thing, darling.
116
00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:09,916
Come on, Abbie.
117
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,875
Hmph!
118
00:06:10,958 --> 00:06:11,958
Hmm?
119
00:06:12,541 --> 00:06:16,416
Sure, Roxy. I'm so excited
to be spending my Saturday night
120
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,916
in a floating prison for wives.
121
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:22,291
Okay, let's catch this doxxer.
122
00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:26,375
Hmm. Manual emoticon,
outdated colloquialisms.
123
00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:29,333
No one says "homie" anymore.
Reads like a Boomer.
124
00:06:29,416 --> 00:06:31,125
Let's check their IP address.
125
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:32,666
Argh!
126
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,583
Oh, careful. Aidan wipes his boogers
behind the monitor
127
00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:37,416
when he thinks I'm not looking.
128
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:57,250
Now can we just Goorgl it?
129
00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:00,875
Ugh, fine. Kids nowadays
wanna do everything the easy way.
130
00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:06,500
{\an8}Hi, I'm Dr. Ace Fabian,
131
00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:08,000
{\an8}breast augmentation specialist
132
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:11,458
{\an8}and Horkville's most affordable
plastic surgeon, three years running.
133
00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:14,458
{\an8}That's why they call me "the wizard."
134
00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:16,791
More like "the boob wizard."
135
00:07:18,291 --> 00:07:22,166
Welcome to the Spouse Zone. Originally,
we were going to call it the Wife Hole,
136
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:25,583
but there's a club in Germany
that owns that domain name.
137
00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:27,666
We have CrossFit, ceramics.
138
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:31,166
There's even an area where you
can practice yelling at your gardener.
139
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:36,625
Benji, if the rabbits eat the poppies,
what's the sense in planting them?
140
00:07:36,708 --> 00:07:38,458
A crossbow range?
141
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,708
Wow, this place is cooler than I expected.
142
00:07:41,791 --> 00:07:44,166
Of course!
What did you think we were gonna do?
143
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:46,250
Spend quality time
with the people we married?
144
00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:50,833
So what should we do?
145
00:07:50,916 --> 00:07:53,833
Whatever you want. It's Abbie time!
146
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,125
Now, remember, big smile,
147
00:07:57,208 --> 00:07:58,833
lots of eye contact,
148
00:07:58,916 --> 00:08:00,833
friendly but terrifying.
149
00:08:00,916 --> 00:08:03,416
Think Rachel Ray with a hint of Putin.
150
00:08:04,208 --> 00:08:05,958
Mmm.
151
00:08:07,541 --> 00:08:11,250
Uh, hello. For those of you
who don't know me, I'm Beelzebub,
152
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:12,791
CEO of Hell.
153
00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:16,291
But don't worry, I'm not here to bug you
about your time cards.
154
00:08:16,375 --> 00:08:19,125
I do have a request.
155
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,500
It seems we've had complaints
156
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,291
that you've been
just a scooch out of line,
157
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:25,500
and as your supreme leader,
158
00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:28,666
I must have to ask you all
to please... behave?
159
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:31,250
- Okay.
- Yeah. We'll do that.
160
00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:35,208
You can't keep us trapped in here.
161
00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:38,833
You can't just ask them
to change their behavior,
162
00:08:38,916 --> 00:08:41,083
you have to motivate them to do it.
163
00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:42,291
Here, watch.
164
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:43,708
"Trapped."
165
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:46,208
That's an interesting choice of words... Um...
166
00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:48,250
Larry. It's Larry.
167
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,833
Larry, I'm gonna level with you, Larry.
168
00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:52,625
I'm a little trapped myself.
169
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:56,958
I may look like a cat,
but I'm actually God trapped in this body.
170
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:01,250
It's true.
171
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:05,333
Heaven sent me here as punishment.
Oh, if you could've seen me before...
172
00:09:05,416 --> 00:09:07,458
Washboard abs, swollen pecs,
173
00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:09,291
buns that refused to quit.
174
00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:12,083
But now I'm
basically a mitten with an anus.
175
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:14,708
So tell me,
what did you do to end up here, Larry?
176
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,416
I robbed a bunch of banks.
177
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,875
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
178
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:21,208
- And why'd you do that?
- Because that's where they keep the money.
179
00:09:21,291 --> 00:09:23,541
Ooh.
180
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:30,000
I guess the trouble started
right after my dad died. But...
181
00:09:30,083 --> 00:09:31,000
Sorry.
182
00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:34,458
Ran with the wrong crowd.
Started shopping at Hobby Lobby.
183
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:37,708
One thing led to another, and, uh,
well, here we are.
184
00:09:37,791 --> 00:09:40,416
And here we are.
185
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,208
But maybe we aren't trapped.
186
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,875
Maybe our situation is what we make of it.
187
00:09:46,958 --> 00:09:48,500
Everyone, give it up for Larry.
188
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,875
Okay, fun happy upstairs fortress,
189
00:09:57,958 --> 00:10:02,000
save these images
for fun happy downstairs fortress.
190
00:10:02,916 --> 00:10:04,458
Now remember, for the next week,
191
00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:07,291
point your breasts
away from open flames or loud noises.
192
00:10:07,958 --> 00:10:13,666
Hello. My, what beautiful children...
you could be at a reasonable price.
193
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,708
Dr. Fabian,
we're conducting an investigation,
194
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:17,416
and we have a few questions for you.
195
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,041
Where were you this morning?
196
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:21,833
Oh. This morning. Well, let's see.
197
00:10:21,916 --> 00:10:25,541
{\an8}Calf implant, nipple-graft,
deposition, deposition.
198
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:29,833
Then I was in surgery,
elbow deep in some juicy honkers!
199
00:10:29,916 --> 00:10:32,041
Ooh.
200
00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:35,000
So tell me
about your home life, Marv.
201
00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:37,125
Do you spend much time
with your loved ones?
202
00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:41,333
Oh sure. I see the crew at the Gaming Café
about five nights a week.
203
00:10:41,416 --> 00:10:43,833
Gaming Caf...
No, I mean your family.
204
00:10:43,916 --> 00:10:46,625
Oh. Them!
205
00:10:46,708 --> 00:10:50,541
Yeah, we're always walking
past each other in the house,
206
00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:54,333
asking each other
if the dishwasher is clean or dirty.
207
00:10:54,416 --> 00:10:55,333
Yeah, they're great.
208
00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:57,166
I wish I'd had a family,
209
00:10:57,250 --> 00:11:00,583
but my only children
are "good value" and "fair price."
210
00:11:00,666 --> 00:11:03,958
Hey, what do you say
we check out the Hindenherb amenities?
211
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,208
- ♪ You don't have to cry anymore ♪
- Ooh!
212
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:12,916
♪ Your friends are all here
The dog is too ♪
213
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,666
- ♪ Now we're all just waiting for you ♪
- Ooh!
214
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:18,416
♪ Hey there, blimpy boy ♪
215
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,875
- ♪ You don't have to cry anymore ♪
- Mm-hmm.
216
00:11:20,958 --> 00:11:23,750
♪ Your friends are all here
The dog is too ♪
217
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,333
♪ Now we're all just waiting for you ♪
218
00:11:29,666 --> 00:11:31,958
Today has been so much fun, Herb.
219
00:11:32,041 --> 00:11:35,416
"Herb." Ooh. Feels so cold and formal,
doesn't it?
220
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,958
I've always thought of you like a son.
221
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:40,250
Why don't you try calling me...
222
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,333
Dad?
223
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:42,791
Wow, really?
224
00:11:43,416 --> 00:11:46,000
My father never let me call him Dad.
225
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:50,375
I... I called him Mr. Higgins,
and he called me Git!
226
00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:53,166
But what the heck? Okay, Dad!
227
00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:58,041
Okay, son. Oh, that feels good to say.
228
00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:01,166
I've never had a son before. Mmm!
229
00:12:01,916 --> 00:12:05,583
This is nuts, but what if I adopted you?
230
00:12:05,666 --> 00:12:08,291
No. No. We shouldn't.
What would everyone say?
231
00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:12,333
You're right! To hell with them!
Whoa! Are we doing this?
232
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:17,250
Okay, let's do it!
Let's make it official, son.
233
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,000
Um...
234
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:20,291
On guard!
235
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:23,916
Parlay!
236
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:26,666
Wow! That was so fun!
237
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:30,166
Thanks. When Richard started working
eighty hours a week,
238
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,750
I joined a fencing class.
239
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:35,791
The marriage may be dull,
but my blade skills are sharper than ever.
240
00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:38,750
If he works eighty hours a week,
when do you see him?
241
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:41,708
Never. It's great!
242
00:12:41,791 --> 00:12:43,541
Oh, I get it.
243
00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:47,500
You and Marv are one of those couples
who "do things" together.
244
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:50,541
No. Well, yes, when we first met,
245
00:12:50,625 --> 00:12:53,333
but over time Marv got more
into his board games,
246
00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:57,625
and I got more into my blood sports,
and I guess we've drifted apart a little.
247
00:12:57,708 --> 00:12:59,875
But it's not like I never want to see him.
248
00:12:59,958 --> 00:13:04,208
Oh. You say that now,
but wait till you have your first affair.
249
00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:06,333
Wait. My first affair?
250
00:13:06,416 --> 00:13:10,000
Bit of advice,
for your first affair, try a himbo.
251
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:12,958
They're like a Ken doll,
but with all the parts.
252
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:17,791
I can't live my life like this,
never knowing who the troll is.
253
00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:21,958
Look. If we can't compare
Fabian's IP address to the troll,
254
00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:24,875
we can see if they're on the same network.
255
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:34,083
Travis, look!
It isn't just the same network.
256
00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:36,375
It's a perfect match.
257
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,416
What? That doesn't make any sense.
258
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,333
Ugh!
259
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,250
Okay, say it with me.
260
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,958
Today is the...
261
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,708
First day of the rest of my life.
262
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:54,250
And I'm not going to...
263
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:59,250
Eat any of the human employees
or use their entrails like pool toys.
264
00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:01,583
Entrails like pool toys!
265
00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:09,041
Wow, you are... I... Thank you.
266
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:12,041
God, can we get a picture with you?
267
00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:17,125
Sure. I'll do something really godly like...
Have you ever seen a dolphin walk?
268
00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:19,708
Luscious porpoise!
269
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:23,583
Wow! Amazing!
270
00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:30,708
Yeah.
271
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:40,000
So... Um...
272
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:42,125
...who's up for some Sbarro Pizza?
273
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,958
Herbert Hamburglar Bulkington,
274
00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:48,208
do you take this adult male
as your lawfully adopted son?
275
00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:51,916
To have and to hold,
nothing creepy, till death do you part?
276
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:52,916
I...
277
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,416
I do.
278
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:59,750
Marvelous Higgins, do you take Herb
to be your lawfully adopted father?
279
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:03,416
To have and to hold,
again, strictly father-son stuff,
280
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,791
for however long?
281
00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:06,250
I do too.
282
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:09,166
I now pronounce you father and son.
283
00:15:14,666 --> 00:15:15,541
Mwah!
284
00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:17,750
Oh, hey, hon. What are you doing up here?
285
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:21,666
I just kind of started to miss you and...
What's with the getup?
286
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:24,333
You look like Tom Cruise
when he takes his toupee off.
287
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:26,916
Good news. Herb and I made it official.
288
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,041
He adopted me.
289
00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,166
He what?
290
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:32,416
Oh, don't worry.
You have a full year to send us a gift.
291
00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:37,416
Damn it!
I knew they built the Auntie Anne's
292
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:39,000
too close to the fuel tanks!
293
00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:41,208
Quick, everyone to the escape parachutes!
294
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:49,666
Never mind about me.
295
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,208
You two go now.
296
00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:54,375
No, Daddy! I'm not leaving you behind!
297
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:56,083
Marv, we're crashing.
298
00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:58,833
Unless you wanna be cremated
inside a Bubba Gump Shrimp,
299
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,333
we have to leave. Now!
300
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,875
No! I can't leave without Papa!
301
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,916
- Well, this isn't a good look.
- All right, new plan.
302
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,583
We leave immediately
and never mention we were here.
303
00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:31,708
No.
304
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,416
I'm getting them to go back.
305
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:41,416
Catious buildious bigger evilous me!
306
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:51,333
You will do as I command,
or your souls will anguish.
307
00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:55,416
Threaten us all you want.
Nothing is worse than SeaWorld!
308
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,875
No? What about...
309
00:16:57,958 --> 00:17:00,041
SeaWorld: Cincinnati!
310
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:07,333
Or perhaps SeaWorld: St. Louis.
Shall I keep naming landlocked cities?
311
00:17:07,416 --> 00:17:10,791
SeaWorld can get so much worse!
312
00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:17,833
I would rather die than go back
to that hot box of walrus farts.
313
00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:28,083
Oops!
314
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,500
So long, suckers!
315
00:17:43,666 --> 00:17:44,666
Oh, no!
316
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:51,291
Uh... You know, come to think of it,
I kinda like walrus farts.
317
00:17:51,375 --> 00:17:52,875
It's an acquired smell.
318
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:00,416
Hey! 'Sup?
319
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:04,291
Aidan, do you know a plastic surgeon
by the name of Dr. Fabian?
320
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:08,625
Yes, Step-Dad Keith took me to
the racetrack to be his designated driver,
321
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:10,666
and a horse bit my ear off.
322
00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:13,000
Dr. Funbags reattached it. Why?
323
00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:14,458
Aidan, the jig is up.
324
00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:18,375
We discovered your secret
boogery troll lair at Dr. Fabian's office.
325
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:19,458
Uh... Pfft!
326
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,333
Dude, get a load of your sister
mansplaining me.
327
00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:24,416
You don't believe that trash, do you?
328
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:27,000
Like I'm the only guy
around here with boogers.
329
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:28,666
Aidan, tell me the truth.
330
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,625
Are you boobwizard_420?
331
00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:34,708
Okay, fine.
332
00:18:34,791 --> 00:18:35,791
Yes.
333
00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:37,583
Wait, what?!
334
00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:39,750
You are? But why?
335
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:44,291
You were being all, "I'm a big deal
with my unboxing stuff" and whatever.
336
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:47,083
- It was a prank, Dude. Chill.
- Chill?
337
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:51,333
You trolled me endlessly online
while pretending to be my friend.
338
00:18:51,416 --> 00:18:56,333
And you want me to chill?
I never wanna see your stupid face again!
339
00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:59,458
Greta, let's go. Now!
340
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:02,708
Oh.
341
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:05,166
You know,
from his troubling Mountain Dew intake
342
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,416
and his history of bunk bed concussions,
343
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:10,083
Aidan almost certainly will die
before you.
344
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:11,000
Thanks.
345
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,208
Oh!
346
00:19:15,208 --> 00:19:19,125
No! No. No. No!
347
00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:22,333
There! Look.
348
00:19:22,416 --> 00:19:24,458
There he is. Father!
349
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,166
No!
350
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:35,041
He's gone! He's gone!
351
00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:36,375
It should've been me.
352
00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:41,000
I should've been the one to explode
in the air into perm confetti.
353
00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:44,708
And now, we've got to walk
all the way to the car?
354
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,208
Could this day get any worse?
355
00:19:47,791 --> 00:19:52,041
You know, I sometimes forget
that beneath your little cat body,
356
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:56,625
you're actually a force
to be reckoned with. You're amazing.
357
00:19:56,708 --> 00:20:01,875
Aw, thanks. Same to you. You're like
if Tony Robbins had a baby with Gandalf.
358
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:06,125
Oh, Beelzebub.
Looks like I got your voicemail.
359
00:20:06,208 --> 00:20:07,666
Excellent work today.
360
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:12,375
I spoke with Aslandeus and Craig
on your behalf and they were thrilled.
361
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:14,434
Uh. Mike, I'm on the phone.
362
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,791
Aslandeus and Craig?
363
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:23,458
Why would someone put in a good word
for you with my cherubs from my Heaven?
364
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:26,250
Okay. Uh... You'll find out soon enough.
365
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:29,000
Heaven and Hell are merging,
366
00:20:29,083 --> 00:20:33,666
and well, I'm up for CEO of the new firm.
367
00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:35,625
SeaWorld was their first joint venture
368
00:20:35,708 --> 00:20:37,916
and they said if I helped out,
it'd give me a leg up.
369
00:20:39,041 --> 00:20:40,750
I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you but...
370
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:43,333
But then you decided to betray me instead,
371
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,166
by asking me to come here and help you
372
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,541
with the very project
that would win you the job
373
00:20:48,625 --> 00:20:50,125
and cost me my own.
374
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,333
How?
375
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,333
How could you?!
376
00:20:53,416 --> 00:20:55,125
Boy...
377
00:20:56,791 --> 00:21:01,125
Hey! I'm evil!
Forgetting that was your first mistake.
378
00:21:01,208 --> 00:21:03,208
I... am...
379
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,000
Evil.
380
00:21:17,458 --> 00:21:20,250
He was a Titan of Industry,
381
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:24,333
{\an8}and his legacy lives on
through bargain hunters,
382
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:26,958
{\an8}doomsday preppers, and we,
383
00:21:27,041 --> 00:21:30,291
who roam the hallowed aisles of Big Bulk.
384
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:36,666
Lovely remarks, Mr. Higgins.
We're Mr. Bulkington's attorneys.
385
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,666
Might we have a word in private?
386
00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:44,083
Mr. Higgins, as Herb's legally adopted son
and sole heir,
387
00:21:44,166 --> 00:21:47,125
we're here to inform you
that you are the new owner of Big Bulk
388
00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:48,666
and its subsidiaries.
389
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:50,541
He's left it all to you, Marv.
390
00:21:54,958 --> 00:21:57,625
♪ I'd like to buy the world a toke ♪
391
00:21:57,708 --> 00:22:01,666
♪ And teach the world
To sing in perfect harmony ♪
392
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:05,583
♪ And teach the world
To snuff the fires and the liars ♪
393
00:22:05,666 --> 00:22:09,208
♪ Hey, I know it's just a song
But it's spice for the recipe ♪
394
00:22:09,291 --> 00:22:13,041
♪ This is a love attack
I know it went out, but it's back ♪
395
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:17,000
♪ It's just like any fad
It retracts before impact ♪
396
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:20,708
♪ And just like fashion it's a passion
For the with-it and hip ♪
397
00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:23,083
♪ If you got the goods
They'll come and buy it ♪
398
00:22:23,166 --> 00:22:24,833
♪ Just to stay in the clique ♪
399
00:22:25,666 --> 00:22:29,666
♪ So don't delay, act now
Supplies are running out ♪
400
00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:33,500
♪ Allow if you're still alive
Six to eight years to arrive ♪
401
00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:36,166
♪ And if you follow
There may be a tomorrow ♪
402
00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:38,166
♪ But if the offer's shunned ♪
403
00:22:38,250 --> 00:22:41,708
♪ You might as well
Be walking on the Sun... ♪
31848
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