Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,173
CHRIS ROCK:
One of the biggest problems
2
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,508
I had in school
was I got no respect.
3
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,178
People disrespected
me at lunch.
4
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,279
Hey! That's my roll.
5
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,247
Shut up.
6
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,317
They disrespected me
in the halls.
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,385
Hey, man,
that's my coat.
8
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,419
Shut up!
9
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,621
(fire alarm ringing)
10
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,357
They even disrespected me
during fire drills.
11
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,258
Oh, Chris, you
go back inside
12
00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:27,195
and make sure
nothing valuable burns.
13
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,130
I tried to make friends.
14
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,398
I even ran for office.
15
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,201
I just couldn't
get any respect.
16
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,735
Hey!
Shut up.
17
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,071
You. Pick those up.
18
00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,272
What if I don't?
19
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:40,508
The only kids in school
that got respect from everyone
20
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:41,709
were the hall monitors.
21
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,477
I'll put you
in detention so long,
22
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,413
your kids will get
out of school before you.
23
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:48,582
Hall monitors were the closest
thing we had to the police.
24
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:51,185
They couldn't arrest you,
but they could write you up.
25
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,253
Thanks.
26
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,522
Oh, and if you're black,
they could shoot you.
27
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,190
You need to be in class.
28
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,492
All right.
29
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,761
Being on the wrong side
of a hall monitor
30
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,231
was like being
on the wrong side of the law.
31
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:06,267
Nobody messed
with those guys.
32
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,502
What you going
to do now... Coco Puff?
33
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,339
The only thing I could do--
34
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:16,344
join the few, the proud,
the hall monitors.
35
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:26,420
Captioning sponsored by
36
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:36,430
Captioning sponsored by
37
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,278
Man, a hall monitor.
38
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,479
How'd you get in?
39
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,615
Jesse Jackson
threatened a boycott.
40
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,384
Oh, I asked Mrs. Milone.
41
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,486
She said as long as
I kept my grades up,
42
00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,820
there'll be no problem.
43
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,156
Man, I always wanted
44
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,090
to be a hall monitor.
45
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,293
What Greg imagined
hall monitors did
46
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:08,329
and what they actually did
were two different things.
47
00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:11,832
Hall Dog One to Hall Dog Two.
48
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,501
I have a group of
violators. Sector one.
49
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,436
On my signal... Go! Go! Go!
50
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,171
Hall monitors! Down!
51
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,307
Get on the ground! Go!
52
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,674
That's what happens to punks
53
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,176
who linger
after the second bell.
54
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,377
Book 'em, guys.
55
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:25,846
We got a runner!
56
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,315
This is so awesome.
57
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,183
Yeah, I know, and
the best thing is,
58
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,651
I'm finally going
to get some respect.
59
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,187
Watch out, Othello.
60
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:35,189
It'll be different when
you get your armband on.
61
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,591
Yeah, if I wrap it
around a baseball bat.
62
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,661
When my mother worked,
she had two jobs--
63
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,231
her job and complaining
about her job.
64
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,233
You will not believe
what this woman
65
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,434
did at my job today.
66
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,202
Did she wake anybody up?
67
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,303
What?
68
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,372
When I first walked in,
69
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,241
she had the nerve
to smile in my face
70
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,475
and then look up at the clock,
71
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,810
and say, "Ooh,
train running late?"
72
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,379
I don't know who
she thinks she is,
73
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,747
but she is not my boss.
74
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,749
Every time my mother
got a new job,
75
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,484
there was always
someone she hated.
76
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,353
At the hospital, it was Tammy.
77
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:06,687
So Tammy says to set
78
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,322
the defibrillator to 200.
79
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,323
I know how to set
80
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,324
the defibrillator.
81
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,426
I'm gonna defibrillate her.
82
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,861
At the fire station,
it was Betty.
83
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:14,928
That damn Betty
84
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:15,929
set the water pressure
85
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:16,930
at a hundred pounds
86
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:17,765
per square inch,
87
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,900
when she know
I told her to set it
88
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,470
at 130 pounds per square inch.
89
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,372
I should've turned
the hose on her.
90
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,639
And at NASA, it was Belinda.
91
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,575
Can you believe that heifer?
92
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,377
I told her to set
the aft booster
93
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,445
at 25,000 feet per second,
94
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,414
and she looked at
me like I'm crazy.
95
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,449
Now, if we would've got stuck
in the ionosphere,
96
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,485
she would've been like, "Oh,
well, what we gonna do now?"
97
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,253
More Tang?
98
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,255
And at the office,
it was Charmaine.
99
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,391
And then when
I got back from lunch,
100
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,792
she done move my stapler.
101
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,827
Talking about, "That's
not where it goes."
102
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,396
I told her I put it there,
103
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,764
so that's where it goes.
104
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:55,269
He didn't hear a word she said.
105
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,837
Come on, baby, get up.
106
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,539
You gotta get ready for work.
107
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,507
He's up, woman.
108
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:06,614
Chris, your job begins
the moment the bell rings.
109
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,749
I know, and I'm supposed
to keep things orderly.
110
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,817
If anyone breaks a rule,
111
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,051
I'm supposed
to issue a citation.
112
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,821
The first citation is
considered a warning.
113
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,489
The second is detention,
114
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,857
The third is suspension.
115
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,360
And most importantly,
after that second bell rings,
116
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,594
any student out in the hall
117
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:21,829
has to have
a hall pass.
Correct.
118
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,497
Here is your citation book
119
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:24,898
and your armband.
120
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,500
Good luck.
121
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,502
Now, what if I give
someone a citation
122
00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:29,570
but they don't want to take it?
123
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,439
Issue them a citation.
124
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,307
But if they didn't take
the first citation,
125
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,375
why would they take the second?
126
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,777
If you get a citation
for not taking a citation,
127
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:40,314
that's another citation and
that's an automatic suspension.
128
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:41,114
But what if...?
129
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,716
If you have
any more questions,
130
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,051
pretend I'm still here
131
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,620
and I said, "Issue a citation."
132
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,056
I'd like to issue a citation
upside her head.
133
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:52,993
Tonya tried playing
with me and Drew,
134
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,995
but we would never cooperate.
135
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:55,996
Mama.
136
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:56,997
What?
137
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,832
Chris and Drew won't play right.
138
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:03,003
This is how we played dolls.
139
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:06,039
Hey, anybody want
to play dolls with me?
140
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,508
Sure.
Sure.
141
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:13,414
I know your style,
Bed-Stuy Dragon Fist.
142
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:16,550
I know your style,
Park Slope Flying Tiger.
143
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:20,521
(imitating kung fu combat)
144
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:25,693
Stop.
145
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,361
It's not funny.
146
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:30,664
This is how
we played hopscotch.
147
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,865
Go, fish.
148
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,003
(loud yell)
149
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,640
Y'all stop! Ma!
150
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,775
And this is how
we played jump rope.
151
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,446
(yells)
(laughs)
152
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,582
You play too much. Come on.
153
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:49,650
No, you're the one messing up.
154
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,718
I'm not doing nothing.
155
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:51,919
Shut up.
Shut up.
156
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,921
Ahh!
157
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:54,888
Ah!
158
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,890
Stop!
159
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:58,859
Ma!
160
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,060
Get o me!
161
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,995
Tonya, why don't you invite
some friends
162
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,664
to come over to play?
163
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,966
Because you say you ain't want
none of those raggedy kids
164
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,067
in your house.
165
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,402
She actually said something
166
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,503
much worse than "raggedy."
167
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,639
Fine. You can have some
friends over, but keep them
168
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,541
out of my room,
out of my kitchen
169
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,676
and out of my way,
and don't bring
170
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,877
that little crazy
girl over here.
171
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:17,878
Thanks, Ma.
172
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,580
Hey, where
you going?
173
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,081
You're not finished yet.
174
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,450
Get back over here.
175
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,751
So, for the first time
in her life,
176
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,753
Tonya had friends.
177
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,187
A lot of people
don't know this,
178
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,889
but Billy Ocean
invented the moonwalk.
179
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,090
And it almost killed her.
180
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,460
And his real name
is Leslie Charles.
181
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:33,561
Did you know in Africa
182
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,795
and Europe, they
changed the lyrics
183
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,430
to "African" and
"European Queen"?
184
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,731
And in Puerto Rico,
185
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,099
they changed it
to "Drama Queen."
186
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,634
Oh.
187
00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:41,735
Hey, Drew.
188
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,036
DREW:
Hi.
What are you watching?
189
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,672
Duel of the
Iron Fist.
190
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:47,608
Ooh, I like Duel
of the Iron Fist.
Liar.
191
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:48,742
Want to watch?
192
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,444
No, that's all right.
193
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:53,213
That day, my sister learned
something I already knew.
194
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,247
When it came to Drew,
195
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,917
you could kiss your
girlfriends good-bye.
196
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,119
(school bell ringing)
197
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,455
It was exciting knowing
for the first time,
198
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:03,190
I wasn't going
to get walked on,
199
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,925
stepped over or pushed around.
200
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,194
I was finally going
to get some respect.
201
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,463
Hey, you! Stop running.
Shut up.
202
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,565
He must not have
seen my armband.
203
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:14,468
Hey, no gum-chewing
in school.
204
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:15,703
Shut up!
Shut up!
205
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,508
Hey, no rough housing
in the halls.
206
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,510
Shut up.
Shut up.
207
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,744
You'd better listen
or else I'm gonna
208
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,078
have to give you a citation.
209
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,947
A'ight.
Well, that's better.
210
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,749
Ow! Oh, no. Oh!
211
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:32,052
No. Uh-uh. No! No. No, no.
212
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:36,156
No, not the locker, not the
locker, not the locker! No!
213
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,660
No! You can't
do this to me!
214
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,495
I'm a hall monitor!
215
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,597
Now I'm a locker monitor.
216
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,705
CHRIS:
Greg. Greg.
217
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,741
Come here.
218
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,177
Thanks, man.
219
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,779
What happened to you?
220
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,247
Tried to give these
guys a citation
221
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,915
and they shoved me
in the locker.
222
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,083
I'm not surprised.
223
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,718
I mean, just look at
your body language.
224
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:05,886
What body language?
225
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,254
It screams, "Ignore me."
226
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,355
Your shoulders
are hunched over.
227
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,658
You're staring at the ground
and you sound like a girl.
228
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,525
Let me have that.
229
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,260
I don't sound like a girl.
230
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,194
You hear like a girl.
231
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,597
And throw like a girl,
run like a girl
232
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,765
and scream like a girl.
233
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,733
I'm just saying--
people can hear
234
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:20,768
the fear in your voice.
235
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:21,702
If you want to
give out citations,
236
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,604
you have to give them out
like you mean it.
237
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:24,938
What is that for?
238
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:25,773
It's my thing.
239
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,209
Kojak had a lollipop
and I got this.
240
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,578
Hey!
241
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:33,547
What?
242
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:34,748
How many times
do I have to tell you?
243
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:35,883
No gum-chewing in the halls.
244
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,651
You never told us
no gum-chewing.
245
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,119
I'm telling you now.
246
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:41,855
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
247
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,124
That explains
why Greg didn't get
248
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,626
a date until he was 20.
249
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,628
See?
Well, if you're
so good at it,
250
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,296
why don't you
become a hall monitor?
251
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,766
Who am I kidding?
Study hall is safer.
252
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,801
Want this?
253
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,603
No, I'll get my own.
254
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,273
While I was learning
how to deal with people,
255
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,676
Tonya was dealing
with being alone.
256
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:05,813
Where are all your friends?
257
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,815
I told them
they couldn't come over.
258
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:08,816
Why?
259
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,584
Because
260
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,720
they like you better than me.
261
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,990
Later on,
my father had evacuated
262
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,259
to avoid Hurricane Rochelle.
263
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,963
Man, you will not believe
what that wench did today.
264
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:27,300
Julius?
265
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,270
Unfortunately for my dad,
266
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,640
my mother needed to talk.
267
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:33,807
Julius?
268
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,647
And she needed to talk to him.
269
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:41,949
Julius?
270
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:46,319
She was like a bloodhound
looking for a prisoner.
271
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:49,957
Julius.
272
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,625
Huh? What?
273
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:52,626
What are you doing in here?
274
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:56,096
Oh, I was making the bed
and then I feel asleep.
275
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,631
Liar.
276
00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,300
Oh, let me tell you
what Charmaine did today.
277
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:04,772
So she says to me, "Did you just
get your hair done?"
278
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,173
And she said it just like that.
279
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,642
And then she passes me the card
to her hairdresser
280
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,211
and says, "Ooh, you know, girl,
you should go to him.
281
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,245
He's real good."
282
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,982
I mean she got
some nerve.
283
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,317
Her hair so short, she can't
even roll it with rice.
284
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,986
I'm telling you, she got
one more time.
285
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,288
Maybe she thought
you'd like her hairdresser.
286
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,823
Uh-oh.
287
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,725
Are you defending her?
288
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:28,662
No. Um, I just thought...
maybe you took it wrong.
289
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:30,731
I took it wrong?
290
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,734
She asked me if I just
got my hair done
291
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,803
and then hands me a card
to her hairdresser.
292
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,806
That's like somebody
asking you if you
just took a shower
293
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,273
and then handing you
a bar of soap.
294
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,809
I was just trying to help.
295
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,343
Help who?
296
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,846
The woman has been messing with
me since the day I got there.
297
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,347
Now you're telling me
I'm taking it wrong?
298
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,982
Oh, no, she gonna take it wrong
299
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,851
when I knock her
over her block head.
300
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,452
Calm down.
301
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,887
Calm down?
302
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,422
Why should I calm down?
303
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,726
Oh, so I guess
you're going to
take sides with her, too.
304
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,828
Next thing I know, you're gonna
be passing me a card
305
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:01,829
to her hairdresser.
306
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,063
Why you getting
mad at me?
307
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:06,033
This woman hands you a card
and you trying to start a fight.
308
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,400
I am not trying
to start a fight.
309
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,202
She's the one trying
to start a fight.
310
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:10,738
I don't care who's trying
to start a fight.
311
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:11,872
I'm trying to get some sleep.
312
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:16,009
Well, I am so sorry for trying
to have a conversation
313
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,878
with my husband!
314
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,713
I've learned that when dealing
with a woman
315
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:22,315
who has a problem, the last
thing she wants from a man
316
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,717
is a solution.
317
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:26,453
Later I was thinking
about Greg.
318
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,155
And I wondered how my heroes
would handle
319
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,890
being a hall monitor.
320
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,825
I thought about how
Mr. T would handle it.
321
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,327
I pity the fool who doesn't
have a hall pass.
322
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,197
I thought about how
Dirty Harry would handle it.
323
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,099
I know what you're thinking...
324
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,802
Was that the first bell
or the second bell?
325
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,904
Well, you have to ask
yourself one question--
326
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,839
do you feel lucky?
327
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,841
Well, do you, punk?
328
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,343
I even thought about how
the Terminator would handle it.
329
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:55,883
No citation...
I'll be black.
330
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,420
If I was going to get
any respect,
331
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,222
I had to act like
I deserved it.
332
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:11,832
Tuck in your shirt.
333
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,500
That felt good.
334
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,068
Hey!
335
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:18,005
You want to fight
so bad,
336
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,339
fight the power.
337
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,041
That felt even better.
338
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:31,218
Run by here again, you're going
to get more than a citation.
339
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:34,955
No shades.
340
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,356
He's blind.
341
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,792
No snacks.
342
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:41,862
Hey, didn't you see me
come down just now?
343
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,263
Yeah.
344
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,265
So what, you're not going
to slap my books out of my hand
345
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,534
call me Chim-Chim,
Yafat and Roscoe?
346
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,037
Oh, I, uh, I got
to go to class.
347
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,338
Oh.
348
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,807
Well, take this with you.
349
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:55,809
What's this for?
350
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,278
I don't know, Bing,
you tell me.
351
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,814
I wonder if this is how
the first black cop felt.
352
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:03,450
Hey, pick that up!
353
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,019
Pick up the citation, too!
354
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,821
She must think
she lost her mind.
355
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:12,893
Take off your hat.
356
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,495
With that citation book
and an armband,
357
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:18,465
I had the power
to run this joint.
358
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,138
Hey, you, where's
your hall pass?
359
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:28,341
Oh, hey, man, you had
me worried there for a minute.
360
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:29,843
Greg, where's your hall pass?
361
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,511
Funny, man.
362
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,314
I'm not joking.
363
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,382
You're writing me up?
364
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,383
It's my job.
365
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,318
Nice work.
366
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,553
The citation doesn't seem
like a big deal,
367
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,923
but it kept Greg from getting
a job with the FBI.
368
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,962
I thought I had just
done my job,
369
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,031
but Greg thought I had
done a job on him.
370
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:51,999
Greg.
371
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,034
So what are you doing
for lunch tomorrow?
372
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:57,037
Staying out of the hallways,
that's what I'm doing.
373
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,305
Listen, I was just
doing my job.
374
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,908
I was using the bathroom.
You could have used
your discretion.
375
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,309
Listen, I didn't want
people to think
376
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,411
that I was going to be
soft on you just because
you were my friend.
377
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,379
You don't have to worry
about that anymore.
378
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:07,447
Half the school thinks
you're crazy.
379
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,882
You're like a dog with
citation rabies.
380
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,117
We're all scared of you.
381
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,986
Well, it's better
than when people
weren't scared of me.
382
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,287
Even Caruso's
leaving me alone.
383
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,956
I used to respect you.
384
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,992
Even though you got picked on,
made fun of and left out,
385
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,560
at least you knew
who you were.
386
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,595
Yeah, I was the kid
who got picked on,
387
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,464
made fun of and left out.
388
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,465
Greg.
389
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,968
I'm eating lunch by myself.
390
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,105
Chris.
391
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,609
Can I speak to you for a moment?
392
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,544
Yeah.
393
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:41,048
So, Chris, I hear our newest
hall monitor
394
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,050
is making a big impression.
395
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:43,984
Thanks.
396
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,986
Chris, we're friends, right?
397
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,654
Yeah...
398
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:48,555
No.
399
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,024
I'm not part of the
hall monitor program.
400
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:54,962
But, as a friend, I think
you should slow down a bit.
401
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,263
Why?
402
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,497
You just said I was impressive.
403
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,999
To me, yes.
404
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,034
But to the rest
of the students...
405
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,970
well, they hate you.
406
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,404
They've always hated me.
407
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,941
True, but they used to hate you
because you were black.
408
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,010
Now they hate you because
you're acting like a jerk.
409
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,278
And because I'm black.
410
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,645
So what do you mean?
411
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,215
You judo-flipped Rodney
for wearing a hat.
412
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,550
And I'm just doing my job.
413
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,453
I know how aggressive
the downtrodden can get
414
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:21,688
when they get a little taste
of power.
415
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:24,424
But, Chris,
416
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,093
you're just a hall monitor.
417
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,095
Calm down.
418
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:32,099
While I was thinking about
who I had turned into,
419
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:35,035
my father was worried about
what he was walking into.
420
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:35,902
Hey, babe.
421
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,737
You know, I don't
understand why you
422
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,938
just can't
listen to me.
423
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,708
I'm upset and I want to talk
about what happened at work.
424
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:42,976
I listen to you
425
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,577
when you complain
about work.
426
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,346
My father never complained
about work
427
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:47,380
no matter what happened.
428
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,382
One time he ran into a wall.
429
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,417
How was work, honey?
430
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,119
Fine.
431
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,720
One time he got held up.
432
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,655
Oh, how was
work, honey?
433
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,090
Fine.
434
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,326
One time he got
his head cut off.
435
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:00,393
So how was work?
436
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,395
Fine.
437
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,532
Chris, let me get
a piece of that bacon.
438
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,402
I was just making
a suggestion.
439
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,172
Do you think I stayed married
for 14 years
440
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,041
because I need suggestions?
441
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,508
If I needed suggestions,
442
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,010
I'll get a suggestion box.
443
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,678
I need for somebody
to listen to me.
444
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,548
I'm telling you, if Charmaine
says one more thing to me
445
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,050
I'm going to strangle her.
446
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,085
He knows exactly how
she feels right now.
447
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,054
So, you just want me
to listen to you?
448
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:27,954
Yes, baby.
449
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,024
I need to know that
you're on my side.
450
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,060
While my dad was trying
to see it my mom's way,
451
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,528
Drew was trying
not to be seen.
452
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,664
Up, side, pull, pull.
453
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:40,333
Up, side, pull, pull.
454
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,202
Up, side, pull, pull.
455
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,645
Funny, Drew never stayed
out of the way
456
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,448
when I had girls over.
457
00:16:55,482 --> 00:17:00,553
Later I was trying to learn
what R-E-S-P-E-C-T meant to me.
458
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,656
Dad, how do you
get respect?
459
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,758
Respect?
You got to earn it.
460
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,295
How do I do that?
461
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,830
By being the type of person
that deserves respect.
462
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,433
But what if I am and people
still don't respect me?
463
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,203
If you were,
then that wouldn't happen.
464
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,837
But how am I supposed
to earn respect
465
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,772
if people
don't respect me?
466
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,274
Respect yourself.
467
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:25,178
And how am I supposed
to do that?
468
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:26,479
Do you respect me?
469
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:27,380
Sure.
470
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,581
But what if you didn't?
471
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:29,716
Then what would I do?
472
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:30,650
Break my arm.
473
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,419
That wouldn't make you
respect me, Chris.
474
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,221
That would make you
scared of me.
475
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,855
When you respect people,
you aren't afraid of them.
476
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:40,093
When you're afraid of them,
you don't respect them.
477
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:43,296
I'm afraid I don't know
what you're talking about.
478
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,766
Since my mother
stopped talking,
479
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,668
my father started listening.
480
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,170
How was work today?
481
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:51,838
That's all she needed to hear.
482
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,874
You won't believe
what happened today.
483
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,008
What happened?
484
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,745
Well, see, I was supposed to
take my lunch break at 1:00,
485
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,280
but then all of a sudden
Charmaine decides
486
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,881
that she wants to go at 12:30.
487
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,216
12:30?
488
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,484
Mm-hmm. She did it on purpose,
too.
489
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,885
She knew I was hungry
and didn't have a break.
490
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,919
And she knew that?
491
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,289
Mm-hmm. And not only
did she take it for one hour,
492
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,324
she took it for an hour
and eight minutes.
493
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:12,592
An hour and eight minutes?
494
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:13,626
Yes. I told you
she was crazy.
495
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:14,861
Yeah, she's crazy.
496
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,796
Going to leave at 12:30 for
an hour and eight-minute lunch
497
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:19,399
and you ain't had a break.
See, that's
what I'm saying.
498
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,567
Ooh.
Crazy.
499
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,169
What's wrong with her?
I don't know.
500
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,237
Little did my mother know,
somewhere across town,
501
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,405
this was happening.
502
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,806
Then Rochelle had the
nerve to tell me,
503
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,575
"Charmaine, when it comes
to makeup, less is more."
504
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,542
Less is more?
505
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,744
And she had the nerve
to answer my phone,
506
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,313
and you know don't nobody
answer my phone but me.
507
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,781
She answers your phone?
508
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,516
And now my typewriter
ribbon is missing.
509
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,285
I know Rochelle got
my ribbon.
510
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,686
I can't prove it, but
I know she got it.
511
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,588
She talked about your makeup,
answers your phone
512
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,890
and stole your
typewriter ribbon?
Mm-hmm.
513
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,593
I told you
that woman was crazy.
Hmm.
514
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,564
Hey.
515
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,800
Hey.
Listen, I just want to say
516
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,269
I'm sorry about the
whole citation thing.
517
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,305
Guess I just got
carried away.
518
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,273
Yeah, no kidding.
519
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:01,708
So I'll see
you later?
520
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,413
Chris.
521
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:07,680
Yeah?
522
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,250
Want to grab
a slice for lunch?
523
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,285
Yeah.
524
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,287
Now I knew what
my father meant.
525
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:17,257
I was never afraid of Greg,
but I sure did respect him.
526
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,261
What about your
hall monitor post?
527
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,462
I quit.
528
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,896
Why?
529
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,365
Either people are
going to respect me
530
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,334
because I'm Chris
or they're not.
531
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,536
Either way,
I'm still me.
532
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,537
That's cool.
533
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,272
So who's going
to replace you?
534
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,206
Don't know, don't care.
535
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,707
Here you go.
536
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:35,908
What's this?
537
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,711
W-W-B-- walking while black.
538
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:43,250
* Everybody hates Chris.
539
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,386
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
35033
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof