Original subtitles

[English subtitles are available]

[A Journey To Love]

[Episode 18]

Who's there?

Me.

Her Highness?

Coming.

Your Highness.

I'm sorry.

Are you okay? Come on.

Let me help you up.

My back...

I'm sorry.

I wanted to apologize to you,

but I made you fall again.

Every debt has its debtor.

It's Zheng Qingyun who hurt me,

not you.

Besides,

as a girl,

what's your intention for

coming to the room of a young and vital man

secretly in the middle of the night?

Wait, don't...

Don't cry.

I...

I just wanted to make a joke like Shisan

so that you wouldn't feel too guilty.

I...

I guess I screwed it up again.

No.

I'm sad because

I haven't been called a girl for a long time.

I'm going to die in the State of An this time.

In the entire world, other than you,

Ruyi,

and Yuanzhou,

I'm afraid not many people know

that I'm actually a princess.

N-Not necessarily.

Many coroners will come after you die.

By then, these secrets won't be kept under wraps.

S-So...

So you must die beautifully.

Otherwise,

it'll be embarrassing

when people talk about it.

When I took things too hard just now,

Ruyi told me the same thing.

Right?

I've made up my mind.

When I die,

I must be like a great hero

who's

a skilled diplomat gazing down upon the mighty men.

I want everyone to know

how valiant my sacrifice is

and how...

Watch what you say!

Look at you. Does it hurt again?

You finally got better.

Why are you cursing yourself again?

It's not a curse.

Since I was young, I knew

that I can't live beyond 20 years old because of my heart disease.

Really.

Although

I can't determine how I was born,

I have to figure out how I die.

I can't just wait to die in fear

because I'm destined to die early.

Right?

But you...

Boss sure knows me well.

I followed him out this time

and he didn't say a word.

One's life

should be a grand and spectacular experience.

Just like you.

If you just live a life

married to some guy,

your life will be over without anything to your name.

No one will remember you in a few years.

But now,

when you go to the State of An and see the emperor,

even if you die,

the National History Museum will give you a self-cultivation certificate

and a biography.

You dressing up as a man,

being heroic and extraordinary, and whatnot.

At least four lines of commendation.

Really?

Really.

Sister-in-law told me about history in the past.

She said that the greatest honor

of emperors, generals, and ministers

is to have a good reputation in history books.

See?

Why would I lie to you?

So you need to recover soon

and behave well in front of the officials

in the State of An.

Show them your attitude as a country's prince.

Let them take a good look at you.

You mustn't weep and whine anymore.

By the way,

I almost forgot.

You were taking things too hard just now...

Don't tell me it's because of that jerk, Zheng Qingyun?

No way.

It...

It...

It's because I got everyone hurt again

so I felt guilty and took it too hard.

It's not because of

that jerk, Zheng Qingyun.

That jerk means nothing to me.

Yes.

Just wait.

At dawn,

I'd calmly

go and see Marquis Changqing.

Good.

Well said.

This is how my Prince Li of Wu is like.

Prince Li.

Then, Yuan Lu,

give me an idea.

If anything happens to me in the State of An,

how should I die

to have a good reputation in history books?

I want to wear a flower hairpin dress.

This is the princess's most formal dress.

I only saw my sister wear it during her marriage.

Die by poison.

I'll ask Qian to make you a good poison.

You'll just have to drink it.

I promise

your face won't turn blue even when you're dead.

Really?

Yes.

Qian is that skillful?

Then...

Then...

Then, can you ask him to make it taste better?

Preferably sweet.

That's...

That's a little hard.

No. No matter how hard it is, he has to do it.

I'll order him tomorrow.

This is what I'll tell him.

Qian, listen carefully.

I want you to make me

the tastiest poison in the world.

Sour plum flavor would be the best.

How about a sweet flavor instead?

The sweet and sour flavor is good.

I think a sweet flavor is better.

Sweet and sour tastes the best.

It really can't be done.

It can.

Sweet and sour.

Sweet and sour. Sweet and sour. Sweet and sour.

Fine, sweet and sour it is.

I'm the one drinking it, not you.

Right.

♫My palm line branched because of you♫

♫My hands hurt when spring comes♫

♫I don't know how to put it♫

♫Every time I turn around♫

♫I expect to see you there♫

♫I've had too much to drink♫

♫But I can't drink away my woes♫

♫I'm hopelessly in love♫

♫Drunk, I saw your eyes; dreaming, I had you in my arms♫

♫Waking up sober, I only miss you more♫

♫You're God's gift to me♫

♫Your smile breaks up the dark like the light of dawn♫

It's dawn.

♫You light up my world like a shooting star♫

♫You came a long way and still have a long way to go♫

It's so beautiful.

♫No one knows your name♫

♫An indispensable part of my life♫

I was up there the whole time last night.

I heard everything

Cousin told Yuan Lu

and Her Highness,

and what Yuan Lu told Her Highness.

Do you want to know?

No.

You didn't sleep at all last night, right?

You got angry out of jealousy again, right?

She thinks she did nothing wrong,

so she got angry again, right?

Since you look like you're in such a bad mood

that you're on the verge of killing someone,

I, the omniscient Yu Shisan,

am willing to work for you, Boss Ning.

I don’t need your help. I can handle it myself.

Don't be stubborn.

It promotes hair loss.

Boss Ning, good morning.

How is it a good morning?

Wait, I...

Boss Ning.

Have a seat.

I discussed with Mr. Du yesterday.

We still have a chance

with Marquis Changqing.

A soft approach and a hard one.

The hard approach

is to tell them the bandits sent by Prince Danyang

are from the State of An.

Then we provoke them

by saying that they're up to no good

and don't care about negotiating sincerely.

The soft approach

is to tell them that the bandits' masterminds

are the two princes who don’t get along with Marquis Changqing,

and that they're trying

to frame Marquis Changqing with it.

Then we'll hint to Marquis Changqing

that as long as he helps us

complete the mission,

we'll definitely

return the favor.

See?

When Ning mentioned Marquis Changqing,

his facial expression changed.

He can't wait to tear him into pieces.

If nobody has any objections,

I'll use these approaches

to negotiate with Marquis Changqing.

Wait.

Your Highness.

I think rather than you,

Miss Ruyi is more suitable for negotiating with Marquis Changqing.

Mr. Du.

Mr. Ning.

As you all saw yesterday,

Marquis Changqing seems to

regard Miss Ruyi differently.

Mr. Du.

I've told you many times

that Miss Ruyi has nothing to do with this.

Mr. Ning.

Please forgive me for taking the liberty.

Miss Ruyi.

Whether you can persuade Marquis Changqing

is related to the success of this delegation.

I hope you can take on this task.

Mr. Du, I’m afraid you forgot

that I'm not from Liudao Hall.

This delegation's success

has nothing to do with me.

But Miss Ruyi,

aren't you Mr. Ning's subordinate?

Ning Yuanzhou.

Am I someone who's subservient to you?

Of course not.

Mr. Du.

I invited Miss Ruyi here

as His Highness' preceptor.

We shouldn't let her interfere in the delegation's matters.

Mr. Ning, this is an important matter.

Can't you make a sacrifice?

-Mr. Du. -This is strange.

You…

You want a favor from me.

Then why are you asking Ning Yuanzhou?

Also, even if I'm willing to help,

I'm doing it as Princess Huyang.

Is this how you talk to the royal family's princess?

Your Highness, I formally request for your help to relieve the worries of Wu.

Mr. Du.

Mr. Ning.

You want me to leave the delegation,

but Mr. Du wants me to stay.

This is a dilemma.

I made a mistake by asking you to leave the delegation

before.

But please think twice

about this matter concerning Marquis Changqing.

Mr. Ning.

Boss.

Boss.

Your Highness. Mr. Du.

Marquis Changqing is here again.

He even brought a gift.

He said he regretted disturbing His Highness yesterday,

so he specially came to visit today.

Miss Ruyi.

Mr. Ning.

Tell him His Highness is still recovering.

I'll see him today.

I need to change my clothes.

Ruyi.

Yu Shisan.

Beauty, I'm coming.

Don't worry, Beauty.

Today, I'll do everything I can

to make you unparalleled in style.

Yuan Lu, come here.

Sun Lang.

Send more people to follow her.

You'd better ask around on the side too.

Yes.

Yuan Lu.

Send His Highness back to rest.

Yes.

Your Highness, please.

How dare you ask Cousin to leave the delegation

because of your jealousy?

No wonder she's giving you a hard time.

But when you were bowing just now,

she obviously felt sorry for you.

Why don't you seize the chance?

You're Qian Zhao,

not Yu Shisan.

If you're determined to preserve your dignity,

then I'll just be a bystander.

I know her thoughts and concerns.

But I have my standpoint too.

I was too anxious about this indeed.

But did you see

how she provoked me in front of everyone just now?

I used to think

you're a magnanimous person.

But I realized I was wrong today.

Do you know why Sun Lang, Ding Hui, and I

are all alone?

Why?

Because we can't even find someone

who'd provoke us.

Yu Shisan is ready to make a move.

If you don't make up with Cousin,

I won't be able to stop him.

One's a loyal marquis,

and the other's a gentle and romantic playboy.

Everyone is better than you.

Do you think I won't beat you up?

I know you can't do it.

And I have to pick up Li Tongguang now.

He sure is Ruyi's disciple.

Their gazes are exactly the same.

Boss.

Do you think Marquis Changqing

knows that you and Ruyi are...

Wait, I have a question.

You guys can't talk without associating the two of them together,

can you?

How are they alike?

Tell me.

How are their gazes similar?

Boss, I...

Can I ask another question?

Go on.

Do you really want Ruyi to leave the delegation?

But besides you,

Ruyi's the most important person in the delegation.

Everyone's worried

that you two fought today.

Even Chief Clerk Du asked His Highness about you two.

It's not as simple as you think.

Besides, even if Ruyi leaves,

I'm still here.

You're right.

But, Boss Ning,

although Ruyi, His Highness and Chief Clerk Du

are not from the Liudao Hall,

if we want to save His Majesty,

everyone in our delegation

needs one.

Everyone's the backbone of the delegation.

Of course,

you'll always be our boss.

You know I’m weak,

but you never stopped me from fighting with you.

But why do you want Ruyi to leave the delegation

just because of Marquis Changqing?

Although Marquis Changqing

is younger than you,

has known Ruyi longer than you,

and is a little handsome,

there seems to be nothing else special about him.

If I were Ruyi,

I would feel wronged too.

Liar.

You said you liked me and believed me.

They're all lies.

You didn't take your medicine today, did you?

Do you think I'm that petty?

How could I be bothered

by that mere Marquis Changqing?

Ruyi said that,

not me.

I heard that Prince Li is getting better.

I wonder when I can see him.

Thank you for asking, Marquis.

His Highness has lived a pampered life since he was young.

Since he entered Xucheng,

he's been repeatedly frightened by your country's army.

I'm afraid...

it'll take him a while to recover.

Really?

It seems that your country's Liudao Hall is mediocre.

Chief Ning is his personal bodyguard

but Prince Li still got frightened.

No wonder your emperor was...

Marquis.

Please mind your words.

Fine.

Then, let's get down to business.

My country's emperor is not continuing his southern expedition

so that I can deliver a message.

He hopes Prince Li can arrive in An Capital within seven days.

Within seven days?

How is that possible?

His Highness' health...

If he deliberately delays it,

I'm afraid he won't be able to see His Majesty.

By then,

he'll be inconvenienced to stay in An Capital

with your country's leader for a few more days.

Marquis.

-You're forcing... -Since we can’t see him,

we might as well ask Prince Li not to go.

Princess.

Mr. Du, you may leave.

There are some things you don’t need to explain.

I've always been a misfit in the royal family.

Let me say the harsh words.

Yes.

Master.

Master.

Why have you changed?

How? Of course she's different.

Lower your voice.

I used the State of Nan's brown powder

to contour her face and eyes.

I also added rouge and enhanced her lip color.

Finally, I drew a tiny mole at the corner of her eye with soot ink.

She looks like an old friend from afar,

but up close, she definitely looks like a different person.

Wait.

Why do you carry rouge with you?

Why does a swordsman carry their sword with them?

Next time when you see Chief Jin,

remember to put on your own makeup nicely.

It doesn’t matter whether he puts on makeup or not.

Chief Jin has long fallen for Boss Ning

and forgotten about Shisan.

The problem now is

that since Chief Jin has Ruyi,

she doesn't even want Boss Ning.

Why are you looking at me? Get down to business.

Marquis Changqing, you're being imprudent again.

Master.

I chased away all the Scarlet Guards in He County.

There's no one else in this room.

We can acknowledge each other now.

Marquis Changqing, let me say it again.

I'm not your master.

Don't be so cruel.

I miss you so much.

Don't you remember the past?

When we were in the martial arts arena...

Fine.

If you insist that I'm your master,

it's not impossible.

But please sit down

and let me finish first.

Go ahead.

What I said just now

about not letting Prince Li enter An Capital

was just out of spite.

We both know that

your country's leader is trying to assert his authority

by ordering for the delegation to arrive in An Capital within seven days.

But most of the officials in Wu

are against Prince Li entering the State of An.

Prince Danyang who's currently supervising the state

is also interested in taking over the country.

I'm afraid

he's the one who's most eager for the negotiation to fail.

But what does this have to do with me?

You know the answer.

As far as I know,

although you've been valued by your emperor for the past few years,

Prince Hedong and Prince Luoxi dislike you.

No matter who ascends the throne,

I'm afraid you'll be on pins and needles.

Among the two princes,

I wonder who you're more keen on cozying up to?

We're willing to help you push the blame of this banditry

to the other prince you don't like.

In this way,

you can use this

as your stepping stone in the future.

You're so thoughtful.

But I don't care for

such a small favor.

Then how about I add

the two cities of Yuncheng and Miancheng into the deal?

As far as I know,

you don't have a real title yet.

If you're willing to help Prince Li

and bring His Majesty back safely,

Wu would like to use these two cities

to wish you well in your journey to become the highest-ranking minister in the future.

Highest-ranking minister?

You think too highly of me.

I'm just an illegitimate...

I'm just a reckless general.

I have no such lofty ambition.

But weren't the rulers of the two states of An and Wu

also previously mere generals?

If I agree,

can you promise me one thing?

Please be frank.

Please return to your seat.

And then?

Don't talk.

Close your eyes.

Master, you're so nice.

Then don't run around carelessly again.

Got it?

Master.

I really regret

bickering with you that day.

I knew you went to Princess Xunyang's Mansion to see me

♫The east wind is the cruelest♫

but I hid in the street corner and didn’t come out.

♫It brings rain that reminds me of the day you left♫

♫The day when you left everything we had shattered on the ground♫

Master.

♫I end up alone again♫

The fire in the imperial prison is so strong.

♫If fate is on my side♫

Does it hurt?

♫I'll meet you again♫

Master.

♫Could that deja vu be a sign?♫

I really miss you.

I miss you so much that my heart is about to shatter.

♫I don't know how many miles I have to go to find you♫

Every time I jumped into

the cold spring you took me to,

♫I search for your eyes but can only see your back♫

I wanted to die in there.

Because in that way,

♫I can't tell if this is just a dream♫

I can see you sooner.

♫I don't want to wake up; I can't stop missing you♫

♫You're the one person I can never get over♫

Don't cry.

Or I'll hit you.

♫You're the wrong person but this love feels so right♫

Master

Master.

Master.

♫I'll spend the rest of my life♫

Don't abandon me.

♫On the fool's errand of forgetting you♫

♫Because of you, my years became important and then not♫

This is nice.

♫My world begins and ends with you♫

Even if I die,

♫There's love in all weathers♫

this lifetime is worth it.

♫The vast expanse of the world is in your palms♫

♫If you're the treasure of my dreams♫

♫I want to hold on to you but it's too late♫

♫It's too late, so I have to cling to these memories♫

What is he talking about?

♫Forgetting you is a fool's errand♫

It’s worth it to die?

Marquis Changqing’s words are really heartbreaking

and heartfelt.

If I were Beauty,

I'd have acknowledged him long ago.

Is he really just Ruyi's disciple?

He treats Cousin better than how Boss Ning treats her.

Don't, don't... Calm down.

Princess.

His Highness just woke up.

He wants to see you urgently.

Got it.

Marquis.

We'll leave now.

We?

Princess and I will accompany Prince Li to the State of An.

Of course it's "we".

Marquis, since I've fulfilled your wish,

I hope you can keep your promise

and think it through.

Okay.

Marquis.

She's not my master.

At first, she seemed pretty similar to Master.

But when I looked closely,

she's just a fake.

Master only cared about

martial arts and Her Majesty.

She didn't have the time to care about the court.

It's even more unlikely that Master would be like this Princess,

who's so haughty

about such a clumsy scheme.

She and Master

are worlds apart.

You're perceptive indeed.

There are too many people who look similar in this world.

Then,

why don't we stay away from this princess

to save you from trouble?

No.

I want her.

As long as she can be by my side

like just now,

I still can feel Master's presence.

I haven't experienced such joy

in a long time.

So,

whether she's a fake or not,

I must get her no matter what

and never let her leave.

Ruyi.

-You were just... -If I leave, you...

You heard everything outside.

What else can I say?

What are you suspecting now?

Nothing.

I admit

I'm a little jealous

and envious

of the time you spent together.

But I didn't go in there because I was jealous

or envious.

His manner of speech was off

and I was afraid that the intimate behavior would make him deluded

and cause more trouble.

So I couldn't help it...

Then, do you...

still want to kick me out?

Ruyi.

It's my fault for asking you to leave the delegation.

You're the person I want to protect

throughout this lifetime.

I also understood

what Yuan Lu said just now.

He said

although he has heart disease since he was little,

I never stopped him

from doing anything.

But when it's about you,

I'm always imposing my will on you

and never considered your feelings.

I'm sorry.

Thank you for telling me all this.

I think I know what you're thinking.

But there's one thing

we might need to talk about.

Actually, I've been

very confused these days.

Do you remember what you said

in the yard that day?

You said that when this mission is completed,

you want to take me to an isolated island to live in seclusion,

gazing at each other, looking at spring flowers and listening to birds.

You said I'd like that kind of life.

Actually,

I wanted to say something then.

But you looked so happy and confident,

so I didn't say anything.

So,

you don't like that kind of life at all.

I used to think

I was used to being alone,

keeping a proper distance from others,

and just observing everything around me.

But along the way, I realized

that the myriad of colors and hustle and bustle

of the ordinary streets and alleys

are actually really beautiful.

It's so beautiful that I question

if I had really lived before.

I like the feeling of fighting enemies together

and having someone backing me up.

I like having friends to mess around with in the delegation.

I like to encounter new people and things

whenever I go somewhere new.

Yuanzhou.

In fact, you're the one

who let me have this experience.

So this is how you feel.

I actually had no clue.

I thought

you were heartbroken because of

the State of An and the Scarlet Guards,

tired of the constant scheming

and the cold-blooded calculations,

and hated the bloody killing.

Also, I remember

that you told me

Empress Zhaojie hoped

you'd live an ordinary life.

I thought that was the life you wanted.

Yes.

I do hate the Scarlet Guards.

I hate troublesome situations

where women are regarded as toys and killing tools.

But I don't hate using my capabilities

to do something for my comrades who were murdered.

In the past,

I can wield my hand against tyrannical politicians from other countries

and kill the incompetent officials who plunder the wealth of the people.

In the future,

there may be a broader world for me to do so.

Maybe

it won't be that great or smooth.

But someday, I still hope

to be like Meiniang

and take in apprentices,

or do something else.

I want to use my brains and brawn

to do something for the suffering women

within the Scarlet Guards,

instead of...

Instead of accompanying a man

to live a life that he wants.

Roaming the martial world

or living in seclusion

are inherently two different paths.

So,

let's think about it carefully, okay?

♫The sword reflects the cold radiance of the frost in the passes and mountains♫

Okay.

♫Life and death in the martial world♫

Then, are you still

leaving the delegation?

♫For whom chivalrous men cross the river together, there is no regret♫

Don't worry.

I won't leave the delegation.

We're not in a relationship cold war either.

♫We were once in love♫

Only when both of us have thought it through

can we know if we can go on.

♫Right and wrong, happiness and sorrow♫

Right?

♫But my world is tearful now when the spring breeze blows♫

Right.

♫Drinking in the windy snow as the snow turns to ashes♫

♫Lamenting that separations are irrevocable♫

♫How many years has it been?♫

♫Having to sober up♫

♫After losing the one to spend the rest of my life with♫

Boss Ning.

Boss.

What’s wrong?

Mr. Du wants to see you.

Got it.

Yuan Lu.

Do you understand that?

Did they make up or not?

They must have.

Look at Ruyi's

calm expression.

Then why is Yuanzhou

still pulling a long face?

W-Well...

Well...

You don't understand.

When two people fight

and separate quietly,

that's truly indicative of a big problem.

-What? -What?

They just had a little argument.

Why did things suddenly take such a drastic turn?

To think I spent so much time persuading Boss Ning.

I told him

to be subservient to Ruyi.

But he didn't reject the idea.

It's not something that can be solved by being subservient.

Jealousy is just a trigger.

A series of problems triggered by the jealousy

is what's serious.

Beauty and Ning are people

who can't tolerate anything that deviate from their own views.

Something bad's about to happen!

What should we do?

We can only make a last-ditch attempt.

Let's split up and target them separately.

-Yuan Lu, go find Beauty. -Yes.

Beauty looks cold but she's soft-hearted.

You have to pester her.

Tell her

that Boss Ning is in constant agony,

drinking a lot and in a terrible state.

That sort of thing. Get it?

Yes.

Your Highness, go to Ning.

What do women desire the most?

Understanding, right?

Tell him to be understanding of

Beauty's sadness.

Anyway, we can't let the gap between them

get bigger.

-Yes. -Yes.

-Greetings, Your Highness. -Mr. Du and Mr. Ning haven't finished talking?

Mr. Du, please stop.

Why haven't you given up on that idea?

Mr. Ning.

I know

that it's indeed a bit forceful.

Your Highness, I...

But you saw it.

-After Miss Ruyi... -Yes.

talked to Marquis Changqing,

his attitude towards the delegation

changed a lot.

Mr. Ning.

In the future, if Miss Ruyi

can talk to Marquis Changqing more often,

maybe

we can get Marquis Changqing to directly persuade the State of An's emperor

to release His Majesty.

But Ruyi is not from Liudao Hall.

Mr. Ning.

With all due respect,

I can see the affection

between you and Miss Ruyi.

Women should abide by the three obediences and four virtues.

Besides,

Miss Ruyi herself is a spy.

If you ask her to talk to Marquis Changqing,

I don’t think she’ll be averse to it.