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1
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:06,840
Dad?
2
00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:11,780
I love you.
3
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:13,599
I felt nothing.
4
00:00:13,939 --> 00:00:16,399
{3}Me and Sketch were
wondering if we could...
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,440
{3}- It won't take long.
- It never takes long.
6
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:21,639
I'm going to surprise him.
7
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,159
She misses you, right?
8
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,639
I think I dumped Cassie.
9
00:00:26,475 --> 00:00:29,160
She's... with some guy.
10
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,319
Michelle had the funny tits
and was like so boring.
11
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:37,799
I told you I loved you, didn't I?
12
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,359
Do you actually remember
or is that a guess?
13
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:44,310
Do you remember what it was like
to kiss him for the first time?
14
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,650
That magic moment
when everything changed?
15
00:01:20,618 --> 00:01:23,058
MICHELLE
16
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,319
Hello, Anthea.
17
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,480
Is Tony here?
18
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,600
He is.
19
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,119
So... could I talk to him?
20
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,320
Haven't seen you for
a while, Michelle.
21
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,959
You must have been very busy, yeah?
22
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,360
Anthea...
23
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,679
I'm sorry. It's been difficult.
24
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:39,120
Yeah, it has.
It's been very, very difficult.
25
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,800
And he's starting to get better
26
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,919
and I don't want anyone
screwing that up,
27
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,940
because they can't
make their mind up, OK?
28
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:47,720
Mum?
29
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,799
It's rude to keep people
waiting on the doorstep.
30
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,560
How are you feeling?
31
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:10,680
Good.
32
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,639
I start doing whole days
at college next week.
33
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,747
I can hold a pen
for three pages now
34
00:03:15,867 --> 00:03:17,960
and I can remember the words
to a whole song.
35
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,359
Go on then.
36
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,760
OK. Let me get this. OK.
37
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,720
That's just the chorus.
38
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,280
It's a start.
39
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,120
How much do you actually
remember about us, Tony?
40
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,400
I remember.
41
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,840
So tell me something.
42
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,359
Sid loves you.
43
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,599
No. Sid loves Cassie, Tony.
44
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,439
He loves you.
45
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,600
That isn't about you and me.
46
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,810
I don't like to think about us.
47
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:14,800
Why not?
48
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,639
They told me some things
might never come back.
49
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,650
You used to say one tit
was bigger than the other.
50
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,610
Look at me, for fuck's sake.
51
00:04:43,626 --> 00:04:44,875
They're fine.
52
00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:50,704
Tony.
53
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,359
What are we going to do?
54
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:06,643
You can do this, OK?
55
00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:07,763
OK.
56
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,479
- You want it.
- Yeah.
57
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,400
Oh my God!
58
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,599
This is ridiculous!
59
00:05:49,278 --> 00:05:50,320
I'm sorry.
60
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:06,360
Why can't you get better for me?
61
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,519
We had so much and
it's all fucked up for ever.
62
00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:15,383
It's just the way it is, Nips.
63
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:22,240
You bastard! What the fuck were
you doing in the road! You idiot!
64
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,959
You fucking idiot!
65
00:06:27,401 --> 00:06:28,799
It's time you went, Michelle.
66
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,519
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I didn't mean it to happen.
67
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,120
No, but it did, didn't it?
68
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,709
So just go.
69
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,670
I'll wait for you downstairs.
70
00:06:58,939 --> 00:07:01,279
I don't think I can
wait any more, Tony.
71
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,560
I got you a present.
72
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,799
It's a birthday present.
73
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,480
For the good times.
74
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,599
I'm going camping for my birthday.
75
00:07:22,186 --> 00:07:25,400
OK, well, I don't want to come,
so... take it.
76
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:16,620
Those boxes over there. And this
lot over there in the kitchen.
77
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,980
Michelle! Come on.
78
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,980
Yeah.
Why aren't you bringing furniture?
79
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,460
- It's so weird.
- We discussed this.
80
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,380
New start. Clean sheet.
81
00:08:29,601 --> 00:08:31,220
You've known him for two months.
82
00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:34,660
You didn't have to get married
for Christ sakes - again!
83
00:08:34,841 --> 00:08:37,239
Well, fuck it. I did marry him,
Reader. And here we are.
84
00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:40,260
Come on. You'll love it.
85
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,660
Careful with that, it's fragile!
86
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,239
Fuckin' bi...
87
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,780
Where is everything?
88
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,380
It's minimal. Functional.
89
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,660
- Modern.
- Yes.
90
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:53,900
Bit wanky.
91
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:58,700
Yes... No! Christ! You don't have to
be negative just for the sake of it.
92
00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:01,300
It's totally state of the art.
93
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:02,769
Check this out.
94
00:09:04,175 --> 00:09:05,508
Blinds up.
95
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,760
Lights on.
96
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,160
Music on.
97
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,420
Marvellous. We'll never
have to use our hands again.
98
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,100
It's empty.
99
00:09:38,321 --> 00:09:40,100
Ted hates mess.
100
00:09:40,220 --> 00:09:41,999
- No shit.
- Chelle!
101
00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:44,540
Well, this is exactly
the kind of place you hate.
102
00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:48,140
Totally up itself. Over designed,
self conscious, anal...
103
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:50,580
Who designed this
bollocks for him, anyway?
104
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,940
Some kind of knobby
interior designer...
105
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,842
It was you, wasn't it?
106
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,740
You can be so judgmental.
107
00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,500
Oh, my God.
108
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:03,780
It's a shag pad. You designed him
a shag pad and shagged him in it.
109
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:07,060
It wasn't like that.
Well, it was a bit like that.
110
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:09,839
Must have been the way he
went through my swatches.
111
00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,489
Look, love.
112
00:10:13,818 --> 00:10:15,260
He's the one.
113
00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:18,580
We've got a future
and I'm gonna go for it.
114
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:21,279
Just wish your future
started after I'd left home.
115
00:10:21,441 --> 00:10:23,140
A few subtle changes
here and there,
116
00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:26,260
a touch of colour,
and we'll be fine.
117
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,100
Door open.
118
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,553
Second bedroom, yeah?
119
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,466
Yeah. This one's mine.
120
00:10:40,081 --> 00:10:41,860
Buggerin' hell!
121
00:10:45,841 --> 00:10:48,300
This one's
actually a lemon squeezer.
122
00:10:48,521 --> 00:10:49,860
Thank Christ for that.
123
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:51,580
Fuck me senseless.
124
00:11:26,361 --> 00:11:27,940
Hey. What's it like?
125
00:11:28,161 --> 00:11:30,060
A fucking nightmare, of course!
126
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:33,940
All there is, is sheep,
sheep shit and my mum.
127
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,260
I'm not having such a hot time
myself.
128
00:11:36,481 --> 00:11:38,660
Can't you come down and help?
129
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,700
I don't know how to get out of here.
130
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:43,100
It's fucking miles.
What are you doing?
131
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:44,420
Babysitting.
132
00:11:44,601 --> 00:11:46,700
We're still going camping
for my birthday?
133
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:49,159
I'm not sure you wanna
share a tent with these guys.
134
00:11:49,321 --> 00:11:51,820
Anyway, stay cool, yeah?
135
00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:58,295
Right. Where were we?
136
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,340
Michelle's annoyed with you.
137
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:03,119
Yeah, my willy's gone wonky
and I'm a little bit mad.
138
00:12:03,281 --> 00:12:05,820
OK. Anwar's acting weird...
139
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:07,060
Totally, man.
140
00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:10,399
If I didn't know better I would
say he was fucking someone secretly.
141
00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:11,500
No way.
142
00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:12,980
It's not possible.
143
00:12:13,687 --> 00:12:14,800
OK...
144
00:12:15,140 --> 00:12:18,060
And you went to Scotland to
see Cassie and she wasn't there
145
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:21,520
and you think she's off shagging
some Scottish guy named Lachlan.
146
00:12:22,236 --> 00:12:23,279
And my dad's dead.
147
00:12:23,441 --> 00:12:24,460
Bummer.
148
00:12:24,681 --> 00:12:25,799
Sorry about that.
149
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,900
Chris - got anything to offer?
150
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:33,580
Bubbles.
151
00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:36,088
They go up and up,
152
00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:38,004
and up.
153
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:39,652
And then...
154
00:12:40,778 --> 00:12:42,018
they disappear.
155
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,260
Poof!
156
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:47,860
Chelle!
157
00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:52,540
Chelle!
158
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:55,220
I need help with lunch!
159
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,220
Chelle!
160
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,340
CHELLE!
161
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,220
Blinds up.
162
00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:25,900
Blinds up!
163
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,100
Music?
164
00:13:36,372 --> 00:13:38,100
Music, better?
165
00:13:41,123 --> 00:13:42,165
OK...
166
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,719
Blinds, go fuck yourselves!
167
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:07,980
Oh, hi, Michelle! Everything OK?
168
00:14:08,644 --> 00:14:09,752
Fuck!
169
00:14:10,521 --> 00:14:13,500
Blinds! Blinds... close!
170
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,060
Blinds down! Close! Blinds!
171
00:14:17,601 --> 00:14:19,439
Aaargh! Close blinds!
172
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:23,919
Help!
173
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,249
Oh, perfect!
174
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,368
Yum-yum!
175
00:14:52,397 --> 00:14:53,446
This is...
176
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,320
- This is lovely, Ted.
- Isn't it?
177
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,620
You know, that was a moment for me
178
00:14:59,740 --> 00:15:02,580
when you said you loved
yellow fin tuna. Oh, yeah.
179
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:07,300
I say to myself, any girl that loves
Mies van der Rohe furniture,
180
00:15:07,481 --> 00:15:10,780
Corbusier and tuna sashimi
has got to be right for me.
181
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,620
Oh, Ted, you're so sweet.
182
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,380
You know,
183
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,780
Mum's last husband Malcolm
said something very similar.
184
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:21,860
Oh?
185
00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:23,140
Oh, yeah...
186
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:25,100
Actually, I'm getting that wrong.
187
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:26,549
Darling, no need to...
188
00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:29,660
He just said he liked your big
fat arse, didn't he?
189
00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:31,820
Oh! Oh, fuck!
190
00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:33,519
Oh, shit!
191
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,260
Darling, allow me.
192
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:42,319
Lovely! Oh, nice and salty.
193
00:15:44,239 --> 00:15:47,180
I thought we could go christen
the er, the tub later.
194
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,300
The tub?
195
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,060
Mmm. New toy. Very social, fresh air,
196
00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:55,740
couple of Creamy Dream cocktails,
hot tub, what could be better?
197
00:15:55,860 --> 00:15:57,399
Erm, I'm not sure.
198
00:15:57,561 --> 00:16:00,220
You know, we're all gonna be so happy
together. Right?
199
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:01,399
Right.
200
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,400
Hello. Ted Rankles...
201
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:10,100
Oh, yes...
202
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,177
Hey, gorgeous plums!
203
00:16:12,769 --> 00:16:13,760
What?
204
00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:14,921
What?!
205
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,120
A cheese omelette?
206
00:16:17,939 --> 00:16:19,862
She made it with margarine?
207
00:16:20,401 --> 00:16:22,660
Yeah, of course, trans-fats.
208
00:16:22,841 --> 00:16:24,860
Yeah. Of course you can, come over.
209
00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:25,980
Ted!
210
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,180
Yeah. OK, sweetheart.
211
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,740
Yeah, take her car.
212
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:32,380
I fucking pay for it after all. Yeah!
213
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,800
OK, yeah, see you soon.
214
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:41,220
Who was that?
215
00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:42,759
Scarlett, my daughter.
216
00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:44,940
Your daughter?
217
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:46,719
Yes.
Darling, I was going to tell you.
218
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,980
Scarlett lives with
her mum in Henley and...
219
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,959
You know, Diane can be such a bitch.
220
00:16:52,121 --> 00:16:53,470
Poor old Plums.
221
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,140
She'll be here in an hour.
222
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:59,879
- Another cracked nipple, anyone?
- Er, yes!
223
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,839
Haven't quite
got the hang of this yet.
224
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,660
You didn't tell me...
225
00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:11,460
I'd forgotten.
Anyway, I didn't think she'd...
226
00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:13,199
Gorgeous Plums?! Oh, yeah.
227
00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:15,319
Bugger. I keep doing that!
228
00:17:21,679 --> 00:17:23,580
Ah. That must be her!
229
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:24,940
Here she is!
230
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,718
He-he-hey! Teddy Bear!
231
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,878
My Teddy Bear!
232
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:35,100
She is such a titless,
jealous bitch, that's what she is!
233
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,660
What did you ever see
in that saggy old bint?
234
00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:39,399
You can't talk about her like that.
235
00:17:39,561 --> 00:17:42,300
- That's what you always call her.
- Not sure that I do.
236
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:44,279
You said that she was
a menopausal old hag
237
00:17:44,441 --> 00:17:47,220
and they'd have to stockpile
HRT for like a decade and...
238
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:48,420
Oh, they're here.
239
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:50,863
Yes. Remember I told you,
they're moving in today.
240
00:17:50,983 --> 00:17:51,983
Do they have to?
241
00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:54,620
Yes, love. We discussed this.
Now you know Anna...
242
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,266
Nice to see you again, Scarlett.
243
00:17:57,140 --> 00:17:58,540
And this is Michelle.
244
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,639
- Mee-chelle?
- It's Michelle, actually.
245
00:18:00,801 --> 00:18:04,180
Whatever. Daddy, you can't
make me live with her any more.
246
00:18:04,512 --> 00:18:06,531
Oh, Munchkin!
247
00:18:07,361 --> 00:18:09,800
Erm, perhaps
we should talk about it?
248
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,119
- I'm sure your Mum...
- She doesn't want me here!
249
00:18:12,281 --> 00:18:14,079
I do! I do. It's just that...
250
00:18:14,241 --> 00:18:17,639
Anyway. I've decided to take another
year out before going to uni.
251
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,700
Right.
252
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:20,599
I won't waste it.
I'm gonna do stuff.
253
00:18:20,761 --> 00:18:23,900
I thought I might take an evening
class in Chinese or something.
254
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,860
I mean they're all Chinese now,
aren't they?
255
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,199
And you always said
that tu casa was my casa.
256
00:18:30,361 --> 00:18:33,279
Well, of course you can
stay here, sweetheart.
257
00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:35,620
It's not like you'd put
me out on the streets.
258
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,860
No, Bunny.
259
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:39,020
Thank you, Daddykins, I love you.
260
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:40,879
I love you, too, Possum Poo.
261
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:46,140
I'm going to my room.
262
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:59,119
Dad! Someone's put their stuff
in my fucking room!
263
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:10,479
She won't be here long.
Well, not that long.
264
00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:12,651
A few weeks.
265
00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:15,300
We're not entirely sure, but...
266
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,359
Mum...
267
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,980
I'm sorry.
268
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,820
I promise we'll do something
great for your birthday, yeah?
269
00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:27,250
It's OK.
Jal says we can go camping, maybe.
270
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,460
Least I'll be out of the way.
271
00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:31,354
Oh, darling, you're not in the way.
272
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,520
It's hard to be out of
the way of those tits.
273
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:34,912
Stop it.
274
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:38,260
Some pair of bazookas, eh?
275
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:43,060
I love you, Bunnyflaps!
276
00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:46,180
I love you too, lardy buns!
277
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:50,470
Tub anyone?
278
00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:53,780
It's totally heated by solar power.
279
00:19:53,961 --> 00:19:57,060
12,000 litres of heaven, 15 settings.
280
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:58,929
Whirlpool,
281
00:20:00,704 --> 00:20:02,563
uprush, and...
282
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,700
Vesuvio...
283
00:20:06,986 --> 00:20:08,310
Let's give it a go!
284
00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:12,620
No need to be shy, darling.
285
00:20:12,801 --> 00:20:14,199
I mean, we're all family now!
286
00:20:20,266 --> 00:20:21,315
Wonderful.
287
00:20:22,915 --> 00:20:24,060
Hey, Cheeky!
288
00:20:25,394 --> 00:20:26,439
Chelle!
289
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:30,319
Wonderful!
290
00:20:34,121 --> 00:20:35,599
Come on in, it's lovely!
291
00:20:36,239 --> 00:20:37,888
Hey, where's Michelle?
292
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,719
Poor old Plum's stuck here with us
oldies,
293
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,980
why don't you get her to take
her to meet some of her friends?
294
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:48,239
They'll love Scarlett.
Everybody loves Scarlett.
295
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:53,860
I've been doing some courses.
296
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:56,592
Er, dog walking,
Cordon Bleu barbecue,
297
00:20:57,015 --> 00:20:59,320
intermediate eroticism...
298
00:20:59,481 --> 00:21:01,420
And the rest of the time
I just sewed.
299
00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:04,380
I made this, erm,
this pair of shorts, actually.
300
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,940
They're a lovely pair.
301
00:21:07,121 --> 00:21:09,220
Really lovely pair.
302
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:10,780
Lovely.
303
00:21:11,961 --> 00:21:15,020
Anyway, we still going camping?
304
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,919
- Sid!?
- Yeah?
305
00:21:19,598 --> 00:21:21,520
Jal wants us all to go camping.
306
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,719
- For my birthday?
- It was only a suggestion.
307
00:21:24,174 --> 00:21:25,300
I can't.
308
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:27,020
- I'm going to be...
- What?
309
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:30,053
Nothing, erm. Hey, Max!
310
00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:33,240
- You all right, mate?
- Fine. Fine.
311
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,060
I'm really fine as in, whoa!
312
00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,340
Fine.
313
00:21:37,521 --> 00:21:38,839
OK...
314
00:21:39,860 --> 00:21:42,020
Max, this is Scarlett.
315
00:21:45,016 --> 00:21:46,016
Hi!
316
00:21:47,679 --> 00:21:49,900
What do you think about camping,
Max?
317
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,140
Well, if guys wanna do it,
it's their business.
318
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:55,639
Personally, I like a more butch look.
319
00:22:01,347 --> 00:22:03,929
Thing is, you know, erm,
coursework...
320
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:06,520
Skint.
321
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:08,820
Chris?
322
00:22:09,001 --> 00:22:10,895
- Nipples.
- What?
323
00:22:11,881 --> 00:22:14,620
Thanks for the enthusiasm, everyone.
324
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,258
Camping's wicked!
325
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:17,359
Camp fires,
326
00:22:17,521 --> 00:22:20,260
a few spliffs,
booze, alfresco sex.
327
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,759
What could be better? We should go!
328
00:22:22,921 --> 00:22:24,700
Hang on, "we"?
329
00:22:24,881 --> 00:22:27,340
Spliffs, booze and alfresco sex!
330
00:22:27,954 --> 00:22:29,420
What is that?
331
00:22:29,540 --> 00:22:32,420
Shagging under the stars.
There's nothing like it.
332
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,460
I'm in. Erm...
333
00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:36,879
We haven't got a car and...
334
00:22:37,041 --> 00:22:38,759
I have an enormous Volvo.
335
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,300
I think that swings it.
336
00:22:43,481 --> 00:22:44,840
So that's Monday everyone.
337
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,560
Monday! Final coursework deadline
and if you miss it,
338
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,620
you'll be fucked.
Got that, Chris?
339
00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:50,900
Fucked. Got it, Sal.
340
00:22:51,020 --> 00:22:53,660
No, I mean it everybody!
Don't let me down.
341
00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:55,559
Are you listening to...?
342
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,580
Barrie? Yeah. I'm ovulating.
343
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:05,519
Meet me in the stationery cupboard?
344
00:23:05,681 --> 00:23:07,420
No, I mean it. It's now or never.
345
00:23:07,540 --> 00:23:09,719
What's up? We're going camping, OK?
346
00:23:09,881 --> 00:23:12,799
I didn't invite Scarlett Bitch
and you're all gagging over her.
347
00:23:12,961 --> 00:23:15,780
She... She seems really nice.
348
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:19,420
She's a cow.
I don't want her coming.
349
00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:21,520
She's just... Just...
350
00:23:22,660 --> 00:23:26,879
Michelle, we're gonna go camping
and we're going to be nice. OK?
351
00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:03,759
For fuck's sake, Sid!
352
00:24:03,921 --> 00:24:05,919
Sorry. I dropped the spliff again.
353
00:24:07,220 --> 00:24:08,920
See, the problem with beach sex
354
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,137
- is sand on the nads.
- Think I see it.
355
00:24:11,257 --> 00:24:12,999
Sweaty nads plus sand
equals chafing.
356
00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:15,940
- You've got sweaty nads?
- Me...? No.
357
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:18,340
No. Sand just rolls off 'em
like talcum powder
358
00:24:18,460 --> 00:24:21,679
due to my exceptionally smooth,
thus, self-draining bollocks.
359
00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:24,399
Fuck's sake. We've already had
three bifters.
360
00:24:24,561 --> 00:24:25,980
Leave it down there.
361
00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:27,759
Nah, find it, man!
362
00:24:27,921 --> 00:24:31,439
We've lost all feeling below the
knees back here. It's like torture!
363
00:24:31,601 --> 00:24:32,660
Yeah.
364
00:24:34,241 --> 00:24:35,959
No, hang on. Yeah.
365
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:40,540
Why didn't Tony wanna come?
366
00:24:40,660 --> 00:24:42,820
Said he didn't feel like it.
367
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,399
That's it? That's all he said?
368
00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:48,260
There's no room in the car,
is there?
369
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,079
No. Here we go...
370
00:24:50,518 --> 00:24:51,518
Hang on.
371
00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:57,940
You're so gross! You're disgusting!
372
00:24:58,060 --> 00:25:00,680
That's your birthday present,'Chelle!
373
00:25:04,361 --> 00:25:05,719
Oh, you tramp!
374
00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:14,260
Seriously, guys.
375
00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,679
What did you all get me
for my birthday?
376
00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:54,740
Me and my friends always come here.
377
00:25:54,860 --> 00:25:56,839
That's wicked, man!
378
00:25:57,740 --> 00:25:58,959
What do you think, Meesh?
379
00:25:59,121 --> 00:26:02,119
It's fucking Michelle, all right?
380
00:26:03,886 --> 00:26:04,886
OK.
381
00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:07,940
People usually like my nicknames.
Don't they, Spunky?
382
00:26:08,060 --> 00:26:10,260
Spunky... love it.
383
00:26:10,441 --> 00:26:11,580
Oh, for fuck's sake!
384
00:26:11,700 --> 00:26:13,380
What's my nickname, Scarlett?
385
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:14,559
Knobless.
386
00:26:14,721 --> 00:26:17,860
This is beautiful, man.
Just like Baywatch.
387
00:26:19,201 --> 00:26:21,039
Right then! First things first.
388
00:26:21,201 --> 00:26:22,820
Skinny dipping.
389
00:26:22,940 --> 00:26:24,700
Skinny dipping?
390
00:26:24,820 --> 00:26:25,820
Yeah!
391
00:26:26,401 --> 00:26:29,460
Come on there's only us here. What
are you guys, a bunch of pussies?
392
00:26:29,580 --> 00:26:30,599
I'm not.
393
00:26:31,955 --> 00:26:32,955
Coolio.
394
00:26:33,345 --> 00:26:34,759
I'll race you.
395
00:26:44,700 --> 00:26:46,380
Never seen one like that before.
396
00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:49,740
Oh, my God, Anwar!
You really did it.
397
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:50,780
What?
398
00:26:50,961 --> 00:26:53,460
Wearing all my clothes.
399
00:26:53,580 --> 00:26:56,980
It's compact. Saves on the luggage.
I got ya!
400
00:26:57,161 --> 00:26:59,479
Anwar, have you been shaving stuff?
401
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:06,329
Allah Akbar!
402
00:27:08,580 --> 00:27:09,619
Let's go!
403
00:27:11,220 --> 00:27:12,460
Allah Akbar!
404
00:28:15,613 --> 00:28:16,662
All right?
405
00:28:34,761 --> 00:28:36,700
Jal says you went to see Tony.
406
00:28:36,820 --> 00:28:38,439
It's over, Sid.
407
00:28:38,601 --> 00:28:40,020
I tried...
408
00:28:40,201 --> 00:28:41,700
I can't...
409
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:46,090
It just doesn't work any more.
410
00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:49,176
I'm not a good enough person.
411
00:28:49,296 --> 00:28:51,799
- That's all there is to it.
- Hey. You're good enough.
412
00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:58,060
Ugh... she does my head in.
413
00:28:58,180 --> 00:29:00,420
Just got to get to know her a bit.
414
00:29:01,251 --> 00:29:02,920
- She's fun.
- And I'm not?
415
00:29:03,820 --> 00:29:04,820
Always.
416
00:29:10,233 --> 00:29:11,382
You OK, Sid?
417
00:29:12,380 --> 00:29:13,759
Sometimes.
418
00:29:14,496 --> 00:29:16,209
I keep forgetting Dad's...
419
00:29:20,601 --> 00:29:24,599
Anyways. We should get the tents up.
420
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:27,940
Gimme a hand getting them off the...
421
00:29:28,060 --> 00:29:29,180
Roof...
422
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,239
- It's not my fault!
- I told you to tie the tents to the roof!
423
00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:34,719
You said to put the stuff
on the roof, not tie it.
424
00:29:34,881 --> 00:29:35,943
You meader, Chris!
425
00:29:36,063 --> 00:29:37,842
What do you think was holding
them up there, you muppet?
426
00:29:37,962 --> 00:29:40,210
- Where the fuck are we gonna sleep?
- I'm sorry!
427
00:29:41,736 --> 00:29:43,399
Fuck it. I'm inadequate.
What can you do?
428
00:29:43,561 --> 00:29:44,561
This.
429
00:29:47,721 --> 00:29:49,479
That has gotta hurt!
430
00:29:49,641 --> 00:29:51,639
It's OK. I put mine in the boot.
431
00:29:54,180 --> 00:29:56,980
Might be a bit of a squeeze,
but we can probably manage.
432
00:29:57,100 --> 00:29:59,399
All you have to do is peg it down.
433
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:04,900
Yo, Scarlett!
434
00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:10,660
I got it when I went travelling,
my dad bought it for me.
435
00:30:10,780 --> 00:30:12,340
We love your Dad!
436
00:30:32,660 --> 00:30:35,340
Pull yourself together, girl,
for fuck's sakes.
437
00:30:55,250 --> 00:30:56,780
What you got?
438
00:30:57,341 --> 00:30:59,300
I don't know.
439
00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:02,020
I'll save it for later.
440
00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:09,279
What's wrong with me?
441
00:31:12,359 --> 00:31:13,359
How long you got?
442
00:31:20,361 --> 00:31:22,540
You think we're all gonna fit in?
443
00:31:22,660 --> 00:31:24,460
We're gonna have to squeeze up.
444
00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:26,460
Real close. Eh, Scarlett?
445
00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:28,130
It's going to be warm.
446
00:31:30,380 --> 00:31:31,380
Get off!
447
00:31:32,664 --> 00:31:34,540
- Hang on.
- What is it?
448
00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,238
Does the sea sound louder?
449
00:31:38,140 --> 00:31:39,580
Oh, my God!
450
00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:53,396
Oh my God, my car!
451
00:32:01,060 --> 00:32:04,279
Wher are the keys!
Oh, my God, where's the keys!
452
00:32:05,420 --> 00:32:06,420
Nice.
453
00:32:29,312 --> 00:32:30,312
Anwar?
454
00:32:31,209 --> 00:32:32,479
Who the fuck's that?
455
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:43,839
That's your stalker, Maxxie.
456
00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:47,239
Hello, Maxxie.
457
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,999
- What are you doing?
- Listen...
458
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,400
- She broke into my flat!
- Then she tried to poison me!
459
00:32:55,081 --> 00:32:56,740
I can probably explain.
460
00:32:56,860 --> 00:32:58,912
You'll just need to
give me a minute.
461
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,300
What else can I say? I like her.
462
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,443
- She's a fucking bunny boiler!
- She's all right.
463
00:33:04,563 --> 00:33:06,559
She's a freak.
And you call yourself a friend?
464
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,900
- I am!
- How could you do this?
465
00:33:09,020 --> 00:33:10,620
I was going to tell you.
466
00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:14,300
Max, if only you could
see how much she's changed.
467
00:33:14,420 --> 00:33:17,359
I've changed.
I've transferred my affections...
468
00:33:17,521 --> 00:33:20,060
She's transferred
her affections, man.
469
00:33:20,180 --> 00:33:22,719
Now she's fixated on me.
470
00:33:22,881 --> 00:33:24,599
Isn't that great?
471
00:33:25,347 --> 00:33:26,896
You lied to me, An!
472
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:32,580
I know... Look, will somebody
help me out here? Make him see...
473
00:33:32,700 --> 00:33:35,199
You shouldn't lie, Anwar.
Not to Max.
474
00:33:35,361 --> 00:33:37,500
I'm sorry, Maxxie.
475
00:33:37,620 --> 00:33:40,220
I was going through some stuff.
476
00:33:40,841 --> 00:33:43,020
I know that's not an excuse.
477
00:33:43,140 --> 00:33:45,380
You too, Michelle.
478
00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:48,959
I was a bit ga-ga.
And I'm sorry, I really am.
479
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,709
I know that now.
480
00:33:51,580 --> 00:33:52,719
Please. Everyone...
481
00:33:54,340 --> 00:33:56,239
Please forgive me.
482
00:34:03,039 --> 00:34:04,039
Whatever.
483
00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:13,900
Well, I don't know about
any of this, but I think
484
00:34:14,020 --> 00:34:15,400
we got to lift this mood yeah?
485
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,440
Chris, did you get that guitar
out of the car
486
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,999
before it got so fucked up
my Dad will string me up?
487
00:34:20,161 --> 00:34:21,759
Yeah... It's OK, I think.
488
00:34:27,041 --> 00:34:28,558
Let's give it a go.
489
00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:30,919
Oh, please, no...
490
00:35:08,020 --> 00:35:10,559
Yeah! Brilliant! And again! Again!
491
00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,519
I love a bit of Bedingfield!
492
00:35:52,054 --> 00:35:53,503
Ignore him, Anwar.
493
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,440
He's just jealous
of our burning love.
494
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,440
There's something about your eyes.
495
00:36:42,739 --> 00:36:45,040
Yeah,
the right one's always been lazy.
496
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,120
No, I mean they're lovely.
497
00:36:49,881 --> 00:36:51,628
I thought that the moment I met you.
498
00:36:51,748 --> 00:36:54,880
Surprising, really, given that
they were burning a hole in my bra.
499
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,080
Sorry... I didn't mean to... Sorry.
500
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,000
I don't mind. You can look.
501
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,139
You can do more than look
if you want.
502
00:37:03,259 --> 00:37:04,560
Oh. Right.
503
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:06,727
Um... Are you...?
504
00:37:06,847 --> 00:37:08,493
Yes, I am.
505
00:37:09,356 --> 00:37:10,356
OK...
506
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,240
I'm not really after, you know...
507
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:17,560
Thanks.
508
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:21,520
Um... actually,
I'm in a weird place and, um...
509
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:26,160
Well, I've got to, er...
I was just playing with you.
510
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,560
Everyone loves my tits.
511
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,560
I was just having a laugh.
512
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,640
Yeah, whatever.
Seemed like he fancied me.
513
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,880
Or he would with a little push.
514
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,440
Sid's not like most guys.
515
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,120
Yeah, I know, that's why I've...
516
00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:57,560
Maybe he doesn't like you.
517
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,560
Oh, not possible.
518
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:05,880
He was telling me about his dad.
519
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,400
He's so cute.
520
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,720
His dad is dead.
521
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,960
He's probably a bit vulnerable,
you know. I know. Shit!
522
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:22,760
He says that you're the only one
that knows how to talk to him.
523
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:28,360
He said that? Because you've
known each other forever.
524
00:38:28,521 --> 00:38:31,920
And sometimes he thinks that
he knows you better than you do.
525
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,040
And that's when I decided
to show him my tits.
526
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:35,760
I'm a bitch.
527
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,750
Go on. You can probably catch him.
528
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,360
Even I can tell he needs a hug,
and I'm the insensitive cow.
529
00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:50,494
OK.
530
00:38:51,777 --> 00:38:53,040
Thanks.
531
00:38:59,353 --> 00:39:00,960
You're not a bitch. Are you?
532
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,520
Just pretending.
533
00:39:24,888 --> 00:39:25,888
Sid!
534
00:40:06,788 --> 00:40:07,868
Chelle.
535
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,400
I'm so lonely.
536
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:15,280
I know.
537
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:18,085
I know.
538
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,640
Oh, Christ.
539
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,730
Happy Birthday, Chelle.
540
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:23,680
Can we go home now, Sid?
541
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,560
Yes, Chelle. Let's go home.
542
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,320
Yeah, cheers. Bye.
543
00:43:38,311 --> 00:43:40,161
Dunno what I'm supposed to say.
544
00:43:40,424 --> 00:43:41,729
You just...
545
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:45,360
I suppose we didn't...
546
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:46,480
I dunno.
547
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,800
Pretend like we didn't...
548
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,480
Um... Help me out here, Chelle.
549
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:54,920
Ask me inside, Sid.
550
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,080
What?
551
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,120
Wasn't that the best night ever?
552
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,240
I'm not drawing on a wealth
of experience here, Chelle.
553
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:09,400
You made me come, Sid.
Nobody's ever done that before.
554
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,640
Nah! Let's go inside.
555
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:25,823
Happy birthday.
556
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:27,680
Thanks.
557
00:44:36,819 --> 00:44:38,280
We have to ring Tony.
558
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,640
We have to tell him.
Yeah, but not now, yeah?
559
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,760
We can wait a couple of hours maybe?
560
00:44:45,263 --> 00:44:46,840
I can't believe this.
561
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:49,320
Go up.
562
00:44:56,968 --> 00:44:59,215
- I'm back, Mum.
- OK, Sid!
563
00:44:59,335 --> 00:45:01,480
I'm going to bed.
564
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,440
- With Michelle!
- Right-o.
565
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:05,400
- To sleep with her.
- Yep.
566
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:06,572
Again!
567
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,720
I want you to do it again,
just like you did. Come on.
568
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,189
Hello, Sid.
569
00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:39,251
Hello, Michelle.
570
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:57,440
Are you saying I'm being expelled?
571
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,640
I prefer the term "no longer
permanently affiliated".
572
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,480
That's right.
573
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,120
For the first time in my life it
felt like someone gave a shit!
574
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:05,280
Have you ever been in love?
575
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:11,400
So this place is great for doing LSD.
Hello.
576
00:46:14,489 --> 00:46:16,039
I fucked up big time.
577
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,200
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