Original subtitles

♪

EMMY: I'm sorry.

I'm sorry this has taken so long to do.

There was...

never a good time.

Um...

So, my mom...

Yeah, my mom, she was, uh...

She was something.

A real... firecracker.

Explosive, for sure.

To know her was to love her.

But also to be judged by her.

I mean, she was, um...

She was kind of a cunt, right?

[crowd groans]

-Um...

Well, that-- that word has been So, um..., though.

It's, uh... it's not such a bad thing.

Uh...

Anyway, um...

What was I saying? Um...

Right!

[clears throat] To, uh, to quote Wordsworth...

"A lovelier flower on Earth was never sown."

Um...

I am actually allergic to flowers.

-Thank you, Emmy, for those...

lovely words...

about our mother.

-Okay, um...

JUDE: Rabbi?

JAY: You did great.

And the quote worked.

COLE: Do you have a concussion?

-I have a UTI.

-♪ Eil malei rachamim...

...sho-khein bam'romim. ♪

COLE: Um, is he...

-Oh... -Should...

-Uh... -Oh.

-Is that a typo?

♪

♪

-I'm sorry about the "cunt" thing.

[sighs]

-Come on, let's go. She's not there.

-[sighs]

I'm a lawyer, and I have cool shoes.

I am a lawyer and I have...

cool shoes.

[loud splat]

♪ Am I old now? ♪

♪ They say I'm young... ♪

♪

-Oh, sweety, I'm so sorry.

What can I do for you?

-Hey, can I make you a plate?

There's tuna...

-I know just how you feel.

I was shattered when my grandmother died.

We...

we thought she'd make it to 100.

JAY: Uh, what do you need?

What do you want?

What do you need?

-I need...

to pee.

-Do you want me to come?

[urine tinkling intermittently]

[door rattling]

-I'm in here!

-Hello, darling.

-Mom, what are you doing here?

-It's my unveiling.

It's my day.

-Listen, uh, I so appreciate you stopping by,

but now is really not a good time for me.

-Well, excuse me for thinking you might want to spend

some time with your mother who's been dead for five years

-Three years.

-I forgot you know everything.

-I don't know everything.

That's just how time works!

-Is that t-What?e underwear you ha-Pardon!terday?

What if the paramedics find you?

-What paramedics? I have a UTI!

-So you're a doctor now?

-Still not a doctor.

-Because your brothers are doctors.

-I'm a lawyer.

You're the one who told me to go to law school, remember?

-So you could do better than a paramedic?

-I'm in love, actually.

-With the marketing specialist. What the fuck is that?

-What is wrong with--

No. No! I'm not doing this.

I am a person.

I have a job and a vacuum, with attachments.

I...

don't need you!

[toilet flushes]

EMMY: You need to leave, okay?

We did the funeral, we did the Shiva,

we just did your unveiling.

That's it. We're done.

I am all done grieving you.

-No, you're not.

-Yes, I am. -No, you're not.

-Yes, I am!

-[chuckles] No, you're not.

-Yes, I am!

-Ah, you're never gonna get over me.

-Yes, I will.

-I come all this way from the Great Beyond

to visit with my only daughter, and this is how she treaps me.

And you wonder how I got cancer?

-How can you say that to me?

You want me to spend the rest of my life

thinking I gave my mother cancer?!

-I can't believe you're fighting with me!

I have cancer!

-Had! Had cancer.

[exhales briskly]

-Don't worry, darling, Mommy's here.

We're gonna figure out your life.

We're gonna do an autopsy on the whole thing.

Oh, that's a medical term!

Your brothers would know!

-Emmy?

♪

-Hey, Em. Em?

♪

♪

-Em-a-lem?

-I'm sorry your mom died.

-I'm sorry your mom died.

[sighs]

When I die,-Never! don't say I was soNever.of life.

-[sighs]

[groans]

I'm...

[groans]

I'm fighting with Mom.

-You're always fighting with Mom.

-No, like...

she's visiting me,

talking to me.

What do you think?

-I think...

Mom's dead.

-I know.

But you don't see her sick and dying?

-No.

-So you're just... like, okay?

-Yeah.

-That's so fucked up.

[door opens]

-What are you guys doing?

BOTH: Grieving.

[door closes]

[Emmy sighs]

[inhaling]

[door bursts open]

FERN: Emmy? Oh, there you are!

Keep that away from your brothers!

Oh...

My Jude.

-Um, I'm sorry, uh...

are you haunting me?

-I don't know, am I?

-I don't know... are you?!

COLE: Uh, we gotta go downstairs.

The rabbi wants to give us a blessing.

-Oh, I don't want a blessing.

-You gotta get blessed.

-I don't want...

-Hamakom yenakhem...

-[Emmy giggles] -Shh!

-...etekham.

[Rabbi snoring]

-Is...

is he asleep...?

[guests murmuring]

-Should we wake him up?

-I don't know. -[suppressing laughter]

-You are so inappropriate. - You are so inappropriate

JUDE: You're both inappropriate. COLE: You're inappropriate

-You, you are very inappropriate.

COLE: It's you, actually. JUDE: Shh, shh, please.

-You are the inappropriate one.

RABBI: Uh... Beshaar avelay tziyon...

...viryushalayim.

JUDE: That was-- thank you, that was very...

That was good.

RABBI: Death is the night

that lies between two days.

-Well, Mom did love the nightlife, so...

-You mean, she liked to boogie.

COLE: She loved to boogie-woogie.

[Emmy giggles]

[glass clinking]

JAY: Hey, hello?

-Oh, no. -Hi, hello, everybody.

I'm-- I'm Jay.

I'm...

Emmy's boyfriend.

JUDE: [quietly] What is he doing?

JAY: I just wanted to say a few words, babe.

COLE: Oh my God, I love this so much.

-Please, don't go.

Don't... [sighs]

FERN: What's he doing? This is supposed to be my day.

-It's been a tough last few years for Emmy

since losing her mom.

-Oh, my God.

-No, shh, actually, he's talking about

how hard your life is without me.

JAY: Some of Fern's best qualities are in Emmy.

Um, from what I've heard of Fern, anyway.

Her-- her strength,

and her sense of family.

And Emmy actually helped her brothers

put together this lovely unveiling today.

I just know that your mother is...

she's looking down, and she's smiling,

and she's proud.

She's proud of you.

So, Emmaline Talia Shapiro, I just wanted to say,

in front of those closest to us...

that I... I see you.

And I love you.

And, uh...

Oh, and I, uh... I have something for you.

It's just a little something.

-Oh, God. -[Layla yelling excitedly]

[guests murmuring]

[guests murmuring]

-"Sad ain't bad"?

-'Cause it ain't.

-It's a T-shirt.

-I know it's a T-shirt.

[guests murmuring]

JAY: To Emmy, everyone.

To Emmy. Raise the glass.

WOMAN: To Emmy! ALL: [hesitantly] To Emmy.

JUDE: Mia's pregnant!

[all exclaiming]

MAN: Mazel tov!

EMMY: What are you all doing?

My mom is dead.

Someone do something!

Please, do something!

[electric toothbrushes whirring]

-[sighs] Can you read to me?

I can't sleep, but...

I don't wanna hold my phone.

-[sighs]

"Three dead in Don Valley shoot-out."

Um...

"I ran over my girlfriend's dog with purpose.

"Am I the asshole?"

-Okay, thank you.

-It's a valid question. -Goodnight.

[sighs]

-Wait... Hey.

Hey.

-What?

-Do you want me to go down on you?

-Uh... um...

Why don't I do you?

-Nope! No, no, no, no. -No, no, no, no.

-I'm gonna do you. -No, really. Let me...

-Yeah, no. -Let me do you.

JAY: I feel like it's better if I'm...

-Please, let me... -I'm already down here.

JAY: Let me do you...

-Oh! Okay. -You... just...

Let me, let me...

[exhales]

Hold these.

-You know what?

Can you just, like, lie on top of me?

So I can't breathe?

JAY: [exhales] Okay.

Okay...

EMMY: Oh!

Oh, yeah.

Harder...

JAY: Ahh... EMMY: Oh!

Oh, just like that. Oh, that's good.

-Yeah.

-Oh, that's very good.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Okay.

-[exhales]

-So, uh...

Mia's pregnant, I guess.

-Uh-huh.

-Hmm.

-And, uh...

And I...

I was thinking maybe it would be healing...

for us to have a baby?

-What? -Oh... what?

-A... a baby?

Don't you think we should get married first?

-Do you want to get married? -No.

-Okay. Well, that was fast.

-I do, eventually. I just... I need to be more settled.

-We have a great house, we have great jobs,

we have decent cable. What's not settled?

-Me. I'm not settled.

-How are you not settled?

Okay.

It's been three years.

I just thought...

with the unveiling, you know...

Okay, how much longer do you think you need?

-How long do I need to grieve my mom?

-Approximately.

You know, just ballpark it. Blue sky.

-A month.

-[scoffs] A month?

-Yeah. A month.

-Okay, so you're gonna be done grieving your mother,

you're gonna be ready to get married,

and we'll talk about starting a family...

in a month?

-Yeah.

30 days.

31 days.

-Okay.

Then I will see you and you...

in a month.

I love you.

-Goodnight. -Goodnight!

[sighs]

-[quietly] Okay...

[sighs]

[Jay snoring]

[Emmy sighs]

-Mom...?

Am I okay?

Do you think I'm okay?

-[humming softly]

[humming softly]

♪ Keeps me dancing all night... ♪

♪ Boogie... ♪

♪ Woogie... ♪

♪ Dancing shoes... ♪

♪ Make me queen for the night. ♪

[in a whisper] Goodnight.