Original subtitles

[theme music]

[intense music]

Can I, uh, see your ID, sir?

Sure.

[buzzing]

Now, open the gate or I'll fry your brains.

Open it!

(male on speaker) All soldiers down

[buzzing]

[buzzing]

[buzzing]

[all screaming]

Hey, you, halt!

I said, halt!

[buzzing]

Open the case.

Are you crazy, soldier? This is top secret.

Open it!

[buzzing]

They never learn do they, Leo?

How are we gonna get in now?

Watch Lex Luthor show you the way.

[buzzing]

They were wearing ROTC uniforms.

Schuster university is the only school in this area

with an ROTC program.

[knocking on door]

Major, T.J. White, Clark Kent.

The two students I mentioned, the ones who could help us.

I sure hope so.

This, uh, gun that was taken...exactly what is it?

The Thermatron 14 is a heat seeking laser weapon

and can be handled like a rifle.

It's calibrated to seek out body temperature.

Can kill a man out of 1000 yards by pointing in his direction.

Very scary.

- No pictures, please. - No..

This project has not been cleared for publication.

Yeah, I'll make sure that doesn't happen again, major.

I told the major you'd do some investigating on campus.

Anything you can come up with we'll appreciate it.

Yeah, well, we'll give it a try, Lieutenant.

Um, lieutenant, I-I was just gonna say

well, just because they had ROTC uniforms on

doesn't mean they had to be students.

From the evidence that seems to be our best bet.

Uh, how about going in that direction for now?

Like, right now.

- Oh. - Oh.

Only one student I know who could do something like this.

- Lex? - Luthor, man?

He didn't even belong to ROTC.

You think a little detail like that's gonna get in his way.

Guess not.

Hey, Lex, the word's out that the ROTC guys

are assembling on campus in full dress

Mmm-hmm.

Seems that the army brass are on their way

in to identify some crooks, who made off with some

army equipment.

What's happened to patriotism in this country, Leo?

It's a sad commentary when even the army is

no longer sacred.

Oh, you're right, Lex, it's a sad commentary.

Have you contacted our clients, yet?

Um, yeah, all three of the organizations.

One's ready to deal right now.

But the other two have to wait for some higher authority.

Is that a fact? Well, I'm a patient man right, Leo?

That's right, Lex. No one can accuse you of impatience.

So, why don't we just deal with the one who's ready now?

'Cause Leo, the fun of the game is not just the profit.

It's the delight in watching them bid against each other.

The joy of observing their anxieties.

Their terror of feeling to acquire what they've been

ordered to acquire.

Electric, isn't it?

That's sour thinking, Lex.

- Sour thinking. - Mmm-hmm.

Oh, but what's this all about?

Entrepreneurship.

Foresight.

Chemical warfare, Leo. One must think ahead.

Now, what good is it gonna do to interview Lex Luthor?

I mean, his-his sickening arrogance is only exceeded

by his lying skill.

That's true, but if we can get into his dorm room--

Wa-Wait. Is he gonna be dumb enough to keep hot army

equipment in his dorm room.

No, but we might be find a clue as to where he's hiding it.

I feel we're doing injustice by suspecting

the guy without any proof.

Wa-wait. There's nothing that can be done to Lex Luthor

that can be considered an injustice.

Hi! So who's buyin' lunch today?

Depends. If you eat your usual quarter we'll run out of money.

There is a woman starving here and you makin' a joke.

Oh, I'm just kinda warmin' up.

- Come on, come on. - Okay.

Absorbs into the pores.

It's brilliant.

[intense music]

Uhh!

[alarm ringing]

[people screaming]

[upbeat music]

Superboy!

Titanium and phosphorous.

Didn't your mother teach you not to play with unstable chemicals?

Right up, there.

[mellow music]

Lex! Are you alright?

- I don't know? - Here. Lie down.

Superboy saved my life.

Yeah.

You're being so nice.

Don't try and talk, Lex.

Where did you disappear? You were right behind me.

He left me in the dust. You should go off a track.

So what happened?

Well, Mr. Wonderful, nearly blew himself up in the lab.

And then finally, Superboy did a disservice to humanity.

He saved Lex Luthor.

You think you can stand up?

Why is she letting him do that?

Hey, don't worry about Lana. She knows how Lex really is.

Right. Hai!

About. Hai!

Right. Hai!

Uh, thank you, Lieutenant.

It's none of these.

Thanks.

No luck.

Wish we could be of more help, Lieutenant.

Army intelligence is anxious to get Superboy into this.

Like you guys to get a message to him if you can.

[horn blowing]

- Out of the way. - Watch out, guys.

I like it. I love it.

All these red roses are for Lana.

Lex is a nice guy, isn't he, Felix?

This is for you, Lana.

Thank you, Leo.

Grab that one.

From, uh, guess who?

Gee, I wonder, considering who the messenger is.

I knew you would act like this.

But I just expect a little bit more from you, Clark.

"To a very gracious woman from a very grateful man. Lex"

(T.J.) I hear it, but I...

Why are you guys such downers?

Lex is trying so hard to be nice.

- You think he's trying hard. - I think he is convincing her.

Would you stop referring to me like I'm not here?

- What are you so angry about? - I'm not angry.

I mean, can't you give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

Lana, here, read my lips we're talking about Lex Luthor.

- Hello? - If you'll excuse me.

I'm gonna go put the flowers in some water.

Okay, if you run short, there's a reservoir couple miles down.

Ah!

Oh, Clark.

[knocking on door]

It's unlocked, Leo.

- Hey, Lex, looking good. - Thanks, Leo.

This is the first time you ever said, thanks, to me.

I'm in a pretty good mood.

I got the calls we've been waiting for.

All three organizations are ready to deal.

Well...I'm not ready for them.

Lex, but this is what we've been waiting for.

Let them wait.

Lex, begging your pardon, but what could be more

important than what we've been talking about?

Lana Lang.

[mellow music]

[knocking on door]

Lana, it's Lex.

Lex?

- Hi. - Hi.

[knocking on door]

Excuse me there, boss. But we'd like to talk to Lex.

Um, he's not here. He's out on a date.

Oh, yeah. We'd like a word with you then...Leo.

You know, Leo, the whole ROTC is under suspicion

about what happened at the army base.

Yeah, military intelligence. Lieutenant Harris, CIA, FBI.

All getting involved here, Leo.

If you know anything about uh, couple of missing ROTC uniforms

you might wanna say something to somebody

well, now's the time. Okay?

Yeah, I wanna say something to you. Get out.

Hold on a second.

- Whose Lex got the date with? - Certain friend of yours.

[knocking on door]

Lex, come on, open up, man.

It's me, Leo. Come on, man. Open up.

- Hold on a minute. - Come on, open up the door.

It's unlocked, dummy. Get in here.

Okay, Lex, alright. I'm in, I'm in.

I told you a thousand times to walk like you got a purpose.

I just got another call from those guys

about the Thermatron 14.

I told you, Leo, that if..

Ho-wow, that's really rad, man.

But don't you think it's gone a little bit too far with punk?

Superboy did this to me.

He knew there was titanium and phosphorous in the lab.

You're gonna pay for this, Superboy.

You're gonna pay.

[screaming]

(Lex) I want you to contact...

All three of 'em.

Way to go, Lex. We're back on track.

Don't interrupt me, Leo.

Tell them that Thermatron 14 is available tomorrow morning

Wilson's Field, 9 a.m., sharp. Are you listening? Good.

I'll need their top assassins from each organization.

Say, cons or assassins?

Lex, I mean, if we're talking money..

The money is just the icing on the cake, Leo.

I'm talking, Hitmen.

Death. Superboy's death.

- Lana. - Uh, hi, Lex.

Could you spare me a few moments in private?

Of course.

Go, Schister!

Lana, I need a favor, if you would grant it.

Consider it granted.

Isn't it a bit warm to be wearing a hat?

Uh, Lex, why did you shave your head?

Not shaved. I'm bald.

Oh, Lex.

Made bald, by your friend, Superboy.

He would not do that.

Deliberately blew those chemicals through my hair.

Killing the follicles.

You're not being reasonable, Lex.

Damn right, I'm not being reasonable.

Would you be reasonable, if somebody deliberately

stole your hair? On purpose, on purpose.

Well, why would he do that?

'Cause he hates me. You all hate me.

No, Lex, you're wrong.

Don't you ever tell me, I'm wrong.

You hate me. You all hate me.

You! You, obnoxious brains.

You hate me because I'm smarter than you.

Now, about that favor I want.

You tell Mr. Save Humanity, Superboy that if he wants

the Thermatron 14, it will be at Wilson's Medal

tomorrow morning. Got it?

And give him this.

Never mind, it's all I've got.

Lieutenant Harris called. Wanted to know if you contacted

Superboy yet.

Not yet.

But I got a message in the pipeline.

So, Lana, how did your date go, last night?

Lex, hit me.

He did what?

He didn't hurt me.

And I was so sure that he had... well, changed.

Now I know why I'm a romantic washout.

You've to belt a woman to turn her on.

- Why did he hit you? - She looks like his mother.

He totally freaked out. Suddenly he's gone bald.

Bald? As in no hair. Bald. How do you go bald overnight?

I don't know. He blames Superboy for it.

Some wild nonsense about him doing it to him deliberately.

I'm really confused. Just yesterday he was

thanking Superboy for saving his life.

I know.

Oh, he also has a message for Superboy.

Tell me what? I'll try to pass it onto him.

Bald?

[intense music]

Now, so that there is no misunderstanding

let me repeat myself.

The one who kills Superboy has first shot to buy the

Thermatron 14.

[horse neighing]

(Lex) I like confidence in a killer.

Let me caution you, you'll be facing no ordinary gladiator.

That's why I have brought you an edge.

I call it..

...sonic blaster.

I think you'll find it very effective.

Lex! Look, it's Superboy.

[upbeat music]

This time you've gone way too far, Lex.

Too far, Superboy?

No.

[buzzing]

Gentlemen, be my guest.

Lex, I was worried that Superboy wouldn't be affected.

(Leo) Well, you know, with the--

Looks like he's more vulnerable than anybody else.

His super hearing is so sensitive.

Aah!

Ah! Ah!

Cut it off, Lex. You're killing the ninja.

What? And let Superboy off the hook.

(Lex) No way.

My ear, stop it, stop it. Aah!

(Leo) You killed him.

But it serves Superboy.

[upbeat music]

It's time to do the job myself.

Lex, let me help you.

Idiot.

[mellow music]

And why is it that we fast, brothers?

To partake of the suffering of mankind.

Be sure there is suffering. The pains of hunger

and of the flesh of the spirit.

And we will continue to fast till the end of this month

in communion with our tortured brothers

on this finite planet, till we obtain infinity.

Yeah, brothers we will honor this fast going through

our bodies and our spirits.

No food or water will pass our lips.

And I say, Amen.

[soft music]

[dramatic music]

Let us, holy brother..

Let us pray for the day..

...that we may do unto Superboy.

And Superboy is done unto us.

Captioned by Grant Brown