Original subtitles

YAY SKOOL YAY!

SKOOL YAY SKOOL!

SKOOL SKOOL SKOOL! YAY YAY YAY!

SKOOL! YAY! AAARGH SKOOL!

YAY SKOOL YAY!

SKOOL YAY SKOOL!

SKOOL SKOOL SKOOL! YAY YAY YAY!

SKOOL! YAY! AAARGH SKOOL!

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR STUDENT PRESIDENT!

ISN'T OUR SKOOL JUST GREAT?

OUR GREATNESS IS GREATER THAN ALL OTHER GREATNESSES

OF ALL THE OTHER SCHOOLS COMBINED,

AND IT'S THAT GREATNESS THAT MAKES US GREAT!

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY ONE THING, MAYBE, UM...

ABOUT THE DIRTY BATHROOMS. THEY--

DO NOT BE ALARMED.

THE STUDENT PRESIDENT HAS EXPERIENCED A FAILURE IN SPIRIT.

A NEW ELECTION WILL BE HELD IMMEDIATELY.

VOLUNTEERS? VOLUNTEERS?

OOH! OOH! ME! ME!

PICK ZIM! ZIM IS ME!

ZIM IS ME!

ZIM SHALL RULE!

PICK ZIM! ZIM... ME. I AM ZIM!

ZIM. ANALYSIS: MORON. SUITABLE.

CANDIDATE TWO NEEDED. VOLUNTEERS?

BUT ZIM'S CRIMINALLY INSANE! THAT'S NOT GOOD!

DIB. ANALYSIS: ANNOYING.

[MUMBLING]

VOLUNTEERS?

HEH HEH HEH. SHOE.

HUH?

WILLY.

ANALYSIS: LEADERSHIP MATERIAL!

NFFFFFFFFF!

THE CANDIDATES WILL NOW SPEAK,

AND THEN BE QUIET AND THEN I GO AWAY FROM YOU ALL.

AS PRESIDENT, I WILL ENSURE THAT ALL MANKIND

HAS ITS LEGS SAWED OFF!

HMMMMM...I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

...AND, UM, REPLACED WITH LEGS OF PURE GOLD!

YES, AND I WILL GRANT YOU THE POWER

TO FIRE LASERS FROM YOUR HEAD!

[OOHS AND AHS]

I LIKE GOLD!

I LIKE MY HEAD!

OH NO! ZIM'S PROMISING THEM ANYTHING!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

CANDIDATE TWO. BE QUICK.

I CAN ONLY SURVIVE SO LONG IN THE SUN.

UMMM...

I HOPE YA LIKE THIS!

[SQUEAKING SOUNDS]

HA HA HA HA HA.

WILLY'S A DROOLING MORON!

AS SOLE DEFENDER OF EARTH, I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!

I WISH WILLY WAS MY BROTHER.

AH!

[LAUGHING]

PARDON ME, BUT IF YOU DON'T TACKLE THE REAL ISSUES,

ZIM IS GOING TO WIN THE ELECTION

AND ERADICATE ALL HUMAN LIFE.

HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

YOU A LEPRECHAUN?

GEEEAAAAAAAAAGHH!

I OFFER MY SERVICES AS CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

WE'LL BE A TEAM. ME AS THE INCREDIBLE BRAINS,

AND YOU AS...WILLY.

YOU'RE AFTER ME GOLD!

IS THAT A YES?

GOOD. LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW PLATFORM.

FIRST, YOU PROMISE TO PROMOTE ALIEN AWARENESS.

SECOND...UM, WILLY?

[GIGGLING]

CANDIDATES' POPULARITY WILL BE MONITORED

BY AUDIENCE BRAIN SCAN.

A DROP IN POPULARITY WILL RESULT

IN A HORRIBLE ELECTRIC SHOCK.

DEBATE! NOW! OR SUFFER!

CITIZENS, YOU ARE ALL FAMILIAR WITH ME AND WHAT I STAND FOR,

BUT ONLY NOW CAN I REVEAL THAT IF ELECTED,

I WILL ENSURE THAT EVERY STUDENT IS GIVEN

A ZOMBIE WIENER DOG TO DO THEIR BIDDING!

CAN MY OPPONENT SAY THAT?

OW! [GIGGLING]

DAH! HOO! AH! OOH!

TIME'S UP! NOW!

NOW COMES THE AWKWARD SILENCE PORTION OF THE DEBATE.

[CHEERS AND HOOTS]

THIS ISN'T GOING WELL.

[PHONE RINGS]

WILLY, JUST REPEAT EVERYTHING I SAY.

DIB! WHAT'VE I TOLD YOU ABOUT

JAMMING THINGS INTO STUDENTS' EARS?

CANDIDATE TWO, BEGIN THE BABBLING.

[GRUNTS]

IF ELECTED, I...

[FEEDBACK] AHHHH!

SORRY. VOLUME.

THE GROTESQUE MONSTER BOY AVOIDS THE ISSUES.

JUST WHAT DOES HE PLAN ON DOING

ABOUT THE SIZE OF DIB'S GIANT HEAD?

IF I AM ELECTED, DIB'S HEAD WILL BE REMOVED

AND FILLED WITH SALTED NUTS!

SALTED NUTS!

[CHEERING]

Willy: YOUR PROMISE IS RIDICULOUS.

WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH REAL ISSUES?

IF ELECTED...

...I PROMISE TO IMPROVE

THE TERRIBLE CONDITIONS AT THIS SKOOL...

SERVE ACTUAL FOOD FOR LUNCH.

YEAH, FOOD.

FOOD, YEAH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ALSO, DIB WILL FINALLY BE APPRECIATED

FOR THE GENIUS THAT HE IS!

HUH?

[BOOS]

I MEAN, I WILL GIVE...

...GIVE EVERYONE LASER BEAM EYES

AND SHOES THAT MAKE THEM INVISIBLE!

YEAH! WILLY!

YOU LIKE WILLY?! NYEEEGH!

AND THEN WE DANCE ALL DAY, AND NO MORE SCHOOL,

AND...AND...AND... AND STUFF!

I DIDN'T SAY THAT! WILLY, STOP.

AND YOU ALL BE MY FRIENDS,

AND YOU CAN GO HOME AND NOT LEARN NO MORE!

[CHEERS]

MADNESS! THAT'S...

YOU...

I AM ZIM!

VOTE FOR ZIM OR I'LL DESTROY YOU.

VOTE FOR ZIM OR I'LL DESTROY YOU.

MISS BITTERS, ZIM IS THREATENING THE VOTERS!

HE'S DISQUALIFIED! RIGHT?!

THE CHILD SHRIEKS LIKE A FRUIT BAT.

[MUMBLING]

VOTING COMPLETE!

CLEAR THE BALLOT BOX!

[SCREAMING]

TABULATING...

THE WINNER IS...

ZIM!

MY EMPIRE OF DOOM BEGINS NOW!

All: HAIL ZIM! HAIL ZIM! HAIL ZIM! HAIL ZIM!

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

THE WINNER IS...

WILLY!

REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S CHAMBER IMMEDIATELY!

YES!

NO! TREACHERY! LIES!

ZIM!

ZIM? LOSE? IMPOSSIBLE!

THIS IS YOUR FAULT, DIB, AND YOU SHALL PAY!

FACE IT, ZIM, I BEAT YOU,

AND AS WILLY'S CAMPAIGN MANAGER, VICTORY WILL BE SWEET!

[LAUGHING]

CANDIDATE TWO,

YOU WON'T DISAPPOINT US LIKE YOUR PREDECESSOR.

YOU WILL OBEY.

YOU WON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT NASTY TOILETS.

WELL, THEY ARE KIND OF NASTY.

SILENCE!

NOW, WILLY.

AS STUDENT PRESIDENT, FULFILL YOUR DESTINY!

DERRRR...OK.

AH--AH--AHHHHHHH!

CHIP, CHIP. GREETINGS, FELLOW STUDENTS!

ISN'T SKOOL JUST SMASHING?

TALLY ON, AND CHIPPY HO!

[CHEERING]

OUR SKOOL IS GREAT.

AND IT'S THAT GREATNESS THAT MAKES US GREAT!

AND WE'VE GOT THE FINEST TOILETS EVER MADE!

EARTHSMELL, BY THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, I CAN SEE YOU DIDN'T

INTEND TO SPARE ME WILLY'S HORRIBLE FATE,

AND THAT MAKES IT FUNNY!

THANK YOU, HUMAN, FOR HELPING ZIM.

REWARD THE CHILD, GIR.

SALTED NUTS!

I HATE YOU.