Original subtitles

[GRUNTING]

BLAAAH! BLAAAH! AAAHH!

DELICIOUS. DELICIOUS. I'M NORMAL!

HOW AM I STILL THE ONLY PERSON TO SEE ZIM'S AN ALIEN?

I MEAN, COME ON!

COME ON!

COME ON!

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A HEAD?

GAZ, I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS.

TODAY, THINGS'RE GONNA CHANGE.

I'M GONNA DO... SOMETHING.

I'M NOT JUST GONNA SIT BACK

AND WATCH ZIM GET AWAY WITH HIS...

HIS THINGS HE DO... I MEAN...

"THINGS HE DO?"

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I'M JUST... I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

SOMETHING...NEW! AND SOON!

NOW!

WHAT?! WHO?!

THAT...THAT WAS HORRIBLE.

WHO DID THIS?!

WHO DARES TO SOIL MY NORMAL BOY-HEAD WITH THIS...

PORK COW?!

THAT'S A STINKIN' MUFFIN!

SILENCE!

WHATEVER THIS IS, I WILL FIND THE BEAST WHO THREW IT...

I WILL FIND YOU!

SLEEP PEACEFULLY NOW,

FOR IT IS THE LAST PEACEFUL SLEEP YOU WILL KNOW

FROM THIS MOMENT ON!

Child: BUT WE'RE NOT ASLEEP RIGHT NOW!

AAAHHHHH!

WOW.

ACTUALLY, THAT WAS KIND OF FUNNY.

[MUTTERING]

THANK YOU, MR. PRESIDENT.

AH!

WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WHO--WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU?

AND WHY DID YOU TRANSFORM INTO GIANT SHOES?

WE ARE BEINGS OF PURE ENERGY.

THIS IS MERELY A FORM YOUR HUMAN BRAIN CAN UNDERSTAND.

BUT...YOU JUST LOOKED LIKE ALIENS BEFORE YOU TURNED INTO SHOES.

MMMM.

YES, BUT YOU COULDN'T COMPREHEND THAT.

YES, I COULD.

OH, FORGET THAT ALREADY.

NOW, DIB...DIB...

WHATEVER YOUR LAST NAME IS...

THAT'S RIGHT.

WE ARE THE MEEKROB,

AND WE HAVE A COMMON ENEMY, DIB:

THE IRKEN EMPIRE.

WE ARE BUSY FIGHTING THEM ON OUR OWN PLANET,

BUT HAVE COME TO OFFER YOU A GIFT

THAT CAN AID IN YOUR BATTLE WITH THEM.

AAH! AARRGGH!

OW! IT HURTS!

HA HA! YES.

YOU NOW HAVE THE POWER TO DEFEND THE EARTH LIKE NEVER BEFORE.

WHY?

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME?

YOU ARE THE WORTHIEST, DIB.

AND NO ONE ELSE HAD A HEAD LARGE ENOUGH

TO ACCOMMODATE SO MUCH POWER. NOW, REST.

AH.

HAH.

A DREAM? WAS IT A DREAM?

I FEEL...

ODD.

WHAT AN AMAZING MORNING, ISN'T IT?

NO, REALLY. SOMETHING'S DIFFERENT.

IT WASN'T A DREAM.

I REALLY WAS CHOSEN.

SON, YOU'RE LOOKING IN GOOD SPIRITS TODAY.

YOU MUST HAVE FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT

ABOUT STUDYING REAL SCIENCE!

NO, DAD. THESE ALIEN SHOES CAME INTO MY ROOM

AND GAVE ME SOME KIND OF GIFT.

I KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS, BUT IT'S TRUE.

THOSE ALIENS WERE DEMENTED HALLUCINATIONS,

BUT YOUR DNA DOES SEEM TO HAVE EVOLVED

BEYOND THAT OF NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS.

HMM.

I GUESS I'M SORRY ABOUT

BEING SO MEAN TO YOU ALL THOSE TIMES, THEN.

THIS IS...

THIS IS JUST INCREDIBLE. I SHOULD...

I SHOULD SEE IF THIS WHATEVER IT IS

REALLY WILL HELP ME DEAL WITH ZIM.

I'M GONNA HEAD OVER TO HIS BASE!

HEY, I'M SPEAKING OUT LOUD TO MYSELF

IN AN UNNATURAL MANNER. OH, WELL.

I AM DIB!

OH, MAN! THAT WAS GREAT!

TIME FOR SOME SERIOUS NOTES.

NO! I'M SICK OF WAITING AND WATCHING.

I SHOULD TAKE ACTION!

I'M TALKING OUT LOUD SOME MORE. ODD.

I'M GOING FOR IT!

D-D-D-D-DIB!

HUH?

I'VE GOT A FEW THINGS TO TELL YOU, ZIM.

AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

EH....OK.

I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT, DIB.

YOU'VE WON. I'M GIVING MYSELF UP

TO THE EARTH AUTHORITIES.

IT'S BEEN NICE WORKING WITH YOU, GIR.

NOW, SELF-DESTRUCT.

FINALLY! HEE HEE HEE HEE!

THIS FEELING, THE POWER!

IT ISN'T GOING AWAY!

THINGS REALLY ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT FOR ME!

AT LAST! YAH!

Reporter on TV: YOU'VE OPENED THE WORLD'S EYES

TO THE EXISTENCE OF ALIENS, DIB!

NOW WHAT?

THERE ARE MANY OTHER MYSTERIES STILL UNSOLVED.

I FIGURE... YOU KNOW...

I'LL DO SOME OF THAT.

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... GHOSTS!

OOOH!

HEY. HOW'RE YOU DOING?

HI.

DIB ROCKS!

I LOVE YOU, DIB!

AND TO PROVE THAT THE LAKE SPOOKY MONSTER IS REAL,

THIS TASK FORCE HAS GRANTED ME PERMISSION

TO DRAIN THE LAKE.

YAH!

[APPLAUSE]

WHAT'S LEFT TO BE DISCOVERED NOW, DIB?

DIB!

IT'S BEEN YEARS, ZIM.

20 OF YOUR YEARS TO BE PRECISE,

ENDURING THESE INDIGNITIES!

THE ONLY REASON I HAVE NOT TRIED TO ESCAPE

IS BECAUSE IT AMUSES ME.

AMUSES YOU TO WHAT?

AH, YES! THE INVASION!

I DIDN'T ASK YOU ABOUT THE INVASION.

OH.

WELL, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO.

EH...WELL, THEY'LL BE HERE!

THE ARMADA WILL COME

AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

WE'LL SEE, ZIM, WE'LL SEE.

TO BETTER STUDY THE COMING ALIEN MENACE...

I AM PROUD TO OPEN THE DIB INSTITUTE OF PARANORMAL STUDIES-

SLASH-SCHOOL OF PARANORMAL TOLERANCE-

SLASH-MUSEUM- SLASH-SNACK BAR.

YAH!

[CATCHING BREATH] SIR!

THEY'RE COMING!

[TOILET FLUSHES]

THE MASSIVE, THE ARMADA CAPITAL SHIP!

THE SIDE PODS ARE FILLED WITH SNACKS!

IT'S THEIR WEAK SPOT.

ALPHA...

YOU'LL BE BRINGING DOWN THE MASSIVE!

BUT, DIB...SIR...

WHO'LL LEAD ALPHA SQUADRON?

HEE-YAH.

[DIB MAKING KARATE SOUNDS]

YAH!

HOOOOO-WAAAAH!

OUR SNACKS!

IT'S OVER!

RETREAT!

[SOBBING LOUDLY]

YAY!

AND THAT'S HOW I WAS AWARDED

THE GREATEST PERSON EVER TO LIVE AWARD.

YOU'VE LIVED QUITE A FULL LIFE, HAVEN'T YOU, SIR DIB?

YES, ALAN.

IT WAS EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR.

AND MORE.

AND I EVEN GOT TO RIDE A MOOSE.

Audience: AW!

[APPLAUSE]

AND WHO COULD FORGET THAT DAY?

YES, WELL, WE THANK YOU

FOR SHARING YOUR INCREDIBLE LIFE WITH US,

AND FOR ALLOWING THE HUMAN RACE TO SURVIVE.

OH, YES. YOU'RE WELCOME.

AND, UH...

OH, IF I MAY SAY,

THERE'S ONE FINAL QUESTION THAT WOULD

SETTLE THE CURIOSITY OF YOUR MANY FANS.

DID YOU THROW THE MUFFIN AT ZIM'S HEAD?

HEH HEH HEH.

WOW, THAT'S GOING BACK A LONG WAYS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT...

I DID.

AHA!

[LAUGHING]

I KNEW IT!

I KNEW IT WAS YOU!

WHAT? THERE AREN'T SHOE ALIENS?

GET OUT.

OH...JUST ONE MORE THING.

[ZIM LAUGHING]

YOU STINK, ZIM.